GH Recap 12/23: Jingle Bell Dock

Docks: Spinelli rushes by the docks and finds a small Santa ornament on the ground as jingle bell music ssounds. He takes a moment to place the ornament on a Christmas tree that is adorning the docks.

Spencer Home: Looloo cheerfully greets Lucky and wants to hang out and eat pizza. Lucky is distracted by missing Sam. Nik actually remembers he has a son and says he just dropped Homer off somewhere. Nik briskly says he's watched Emily play an elf at the GH party for years and is not up for it yet. Looloo is apparently "suffering" from having too much sex, so she plans on having fun with her brothers even if they just hang out and pout around here. With endearing comic timing, they all sit on the sofa and try to answer their phones at the same time.

Emma's Closet: Robin angrily snaps at Patrick for forgetting her dessert. She sarcastically says "but we have eggnog lattes" and snatches them from him. Those sound entirely delicious and worthy of being considered dessert in and of themselves. I guess the honeymoon is over?

Q Manse: Monica stares out at Lila's roses. One thing I do love about this show is my inner picture of Lila's roses. I imagine them still looking like the Secret Garden, like you'd half expect crippled British kids and their nannies to be frolicking in them. Edward and his cute cap show up to break her from her reverie. Tracy shows up in her latest Asian inspired outfit. Monica isn't going to the GH Christmas party. Tracy is staying home and pouting. Mon jabs that maybe she'll leave afterall. Alice shows up to chipperly trim the tree. and then the Q's do that thing where everybody says a line, but this time it's Edward: Ba, Monica: Hum, Tracy: Bug.

Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli comes in and finds a man dressed as Santa complaining about the cookies left for him. Why on earth would Jason or Spinelli leave cookies by the hearth for Santa? Music Guy picks up his jingle bells again and starts making merry. Santa sees Spinelli and shouts "panelli!" Spinelli tells him to halt "Demented Intruder, I will ninja you" Santa says he knows who's naughty and nice and who knows martial arts. Spinelli believes he's met St. Nick, himself.

Credits

Jason's Penthouse: Santa points out his sleigh on top of the Metrocourt and says he took some carrots. He's a mess about his Blackberry and needs Spinelli to fix it by 11:59pm so he can deliver presents to the kids. This is awesomely stupid and gloriously sweet. This is like brownies made of new math and Andes mints. Maxie shows up, but Santa magically sneaks away, as he does. Spinelli tries to explain how Santa gave him a PDA to fix, and Maxie tries to follow Spinelli's dizzying speech. Then she hears the sleigh bells and Spinelli shows her Santa's jacket. Poor Santa, he's going to be cold! So is Santa just going to ride around for a few hours until midnight? That sounds exhausting for his already taxed reindeer.

Docks: Diane is staring up into the sky, thinking she's seeing Santa. Max shows up and breaks the bad news that he booked a room at the Metrocourt. She's bummed b/c they were supposed to spend the holidays with his family. Some sort of mob business has gotten in the way of their plans, so Diane balks and says he doesn't think of her as his girlfriend. Max tries to stop her, but she's sure he doesn't want to be with her for the holidays, so she leaves in a huff.

Spencer Home: Luke drunkely shows up. That's really kind of sad, y'all, having a dad who is always sloshed. I adore Anthony Geary and honestly dig him as an actor, but Luke is a sad, sad character. Like Oprah Book Club kind of sad. He's brought a tree for the family and tells a slurringly drunk story about how it just stumbled onto his lap. Nik brings the tree in alone and cutely asks "why isn't anyone helping me?" heh. What is this adorable show? Who are these adorable characters? I really like them. Spinelli and Maxie burst in, and Maxie quickly explains that Spinelli got his Santa coat from a costume shop. Looloo offers them pizza. Because they are the Q's now? Shut up, writers. At least have the Spencers eat Chinese food or buffalo wings, or something else that delivers. Spinelli says they have a busy schedule. Maxie says they are asking everyone what they are wishing for. (Sleigh bells) Looloo says they look weird. Spinelli reaches into his pocket and pulls out what looks like a skeleton key on a red ribbon and says it's for Loo and will give her a merry Christmas.

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Spencer Home: Spin hands Loo the key and tells her to enjoy. Luke looks on curiously. Maxie rushes Spin off. She's wearing the cutest tights ever, by the way. Kudos to whoever found those and insisted they were for Maxie! Luke slurs "Merry Christmas" Loo says this is the weirdest thing. Luke takes a swig of his booze and says he hates Christmas. and again, it's sad that he's a drunk, but my heavens, does Anthony Geary put so much into a simple line and simple act. I'd hate for Luke to be my dad, but I'd watch Anthony Geary PLAY my dad, or anyone's dad, any chance I got!

Bernie's Office!: Omg, It's Bernie's office! Bernie cutely puts candles in his mennorah. Diane is there and complaining about Max. Bernie sagely says that Diane is the one who walked out on Max. Bernie says he's a widower, and his family is spread out all over. He's waiting for The Danger Documents to arrive. He sweetly says that even though they are apart, everyone in his family is lighting candles, wherever they are. Diane thinks it's a lovely tradition. (also, Bernie, you're a few candles behind)

Emma's Closet: Robin is angry she can't find her grandmother's necklace that Anna gave her to wear on her wedding day. Man, Robin is lucky. Mr. Mad would be much less kind about what a bitch she's being than Patrick is. Patrick finally snaps at her, and she says he's like divorce. Anna and Robert show up. Patrick tries not to flee. Robin offers Robert a leftover latte. Anna suggests Robin wear the necklace that we all know is lost. There is a knock at the door and Patrick prays it's either figgy pudding or death. But it's Spinelli and Maxie. Maxie asks what everyone wants for Christmas. Isn't it a bit late? Robin snots they have everything they need. Jingle bells sound as Spinelli pulls a magic package out of his pocket to give to Robin.

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Emma's Closet: Maxie is surprised by the gift, but she cuts off Spinelli before he can crazily talk about his magic Santa coat, and they leave. Robin opens the bag and pulls out cookies. She insanely worries the cookies are tainted. Because I guess she thinks Spinelli is an assassin? Anna grabs one and loves it. Robin eats a bite and "the first Noel" plays happily as Robin says the cookies taste just like the Christmas cookies her grandma used to make. She died before she could give Robin the recipe.

Spencer Home: The tree is mostly decorated, and they all talk about how Laura loved Christmas. Luke slurs about his first Christmas in Texas. Somehow they found a pine tree in Texas. I can only assume they were in East Texas? Luke tells them a sweet story about how Laura batted her eyes at a man who was selling angels, so they had a top for their tree.

Q Manse: Edward and Monica talk about how Lila and Emily loved Christmas and made it special. Alice hopes they argue about Christmas dinner for old time's sake. The Q's don't even feel like bickering, though. Alanghost calls them whiners, and Tracy snaps at him. Monica says Tracy can't possibly fight with Alan tonight. Alan asks Tracy to tell Monica that he loves her. Spin and Maxie show up. Tracy wants to throw them out. Spinelli calls Alice the Dominator, and thus dissuades her from throwing them out. He says he's compelled to be here. Edward calls him psychotic. Jingle Bells. Spinelli pulls out a pair of glasses on a red ribbon.

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Emma's Closet: Patrick drops a cookie and (jingle bells) he finds Robin's grandma's necklace under a chair. (Oh Holy Night begins to play) as they all happily talk about this necklace's past. Robin says she knows it's silly, but she thinks it's a sign. Robin says this necklace has been from a village in Italy to here to her necklace, and it's here to stay. So I guess in the next scene she apolgizes to her fiance about being suchabitch about his forgetting dessert and "only" bringing delicious eggnog lattes home?

Spencer Home: Lucky drags down a bunch of boxes to find the angel top. There is a big wooden box that Looloo's key fits into. Inside is a gorgeous Christmas tree top angel. The phone rings, and it's Laura. (We Wish You a Merry Christmas) plays happily.

Q Manse: Spinelli says he doesn't know who the glasses are for. Edward hilariously calls him a twerp in a way that I find endearing, but Tracy cuts him off and starts to leave for the GH party. Monica just wants to stay behind. Spinelli says the glasses must be for her, since everyone else left. Monica bruskly tells him he's wrong, but she's glad to be alone. Alanghost says "big mistake, Monica" Maxie says "big mistake, Monica, you don't refuse a gift from an open heart" Monica crisply says she's got nothing to celebrate. Maxie evenly and chipperly says she's out of reasons to celebrate too, but tis the season. Alanghost asks Monica to reconsider. Spinelli says he'll just leave the glasses on the tree. Maxie lovingly wishes Monica a Merry Christmas and she and Spin leave. Alan says the glasses look like his. Monica stares at the bar. Instead of pourting a drink, she turns to the tree and picks up the glasses as the jingle bells ring. She puts them on and turns around. She gasps in surprise. She's able to see Alan!

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Q Manse: Jingle bells. Monica approaches Alan, and the lights change, so that the backrground is dark and only Alan and Monica are lit. "the First Noel" begins to play as Alan says "you can see me!" and Monica adjusts the glasses and asks "is it really you?" He takes her hands and assures her it's alright. He takes off the glasses, and she can still see him. She breathlessly asks how. He sweetly says you never ask "how?" on Christmas. He says she's a fighter and can't give up and must go on with her life. She says she doesn't know if he's a ghost, or if she's crazy, but the pompous ass she's loved most is here. the bicker adorably about being pompous and promiscuous. Monica can only finally sob happily that she's missed him so much, and he embraces her, and I go to find a tissue.

Docks: Max laments to Spin and Maxie that he lost Diane. Maxie says Diane just wants to know that he wants to be with the woman he loves. Spinelli pulls out another red ribbon with a card attached and says he got his wish as Spin and Maxie run off to be jingle belly somewhere else.

Bernie's Sunday Office: Diane cradles a blanket that was her present to Max. She says "warm heart, cold feet" and sobs. Bernie hops up to comfort her, and she wails "oh, I'm such a Bitch!" heh. Spin and Maxie burst in offering holiday greetings. Maxie offers a ridiculously adorable squeely "heeeeya!" to Bernie and asks what he's doing here Christmas Eve. Bernie says something about union pay. Spin asks why Diane is crying, and she says she messed things up with Max. Jingle Bells! It's a phone that has already been dialed and is ringing, and Spin hands it to Diane and tells her to call her beloved. Max answers, and Diane sweetly sobs to Max that he shouldn't move, and she'll be right there. She hugs and kisses everyone and wishes them a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. Bernie mumbles he'll never understand and says Diane is the best lawyer and other complimentary things. He looks around a drawer and says she goes to pieces over a bodyguard. Jingle bells! Spin hands Bernie something that is just what he was wishing for. Spin and Maxie offer happy holidays and happy Hanukkah and leave.

Docks: little ditty about Max and Diane. They rush to each other's arms joyfully.

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Q Manse magical land: Alan and Monica embrace and they bicker about who would have been the better chief of staff. She's hired experts to help her be better. He says he was great as a surgeon until he injured his hand saving her. She deadpans that he did that after trying to kill her. He yells it was because she was cheating on him in his house. She gleefully says "It's MY house, Alan", and he jubilantly says "I gave it to you!" then he snaps his fingers. Then a Charlie Brown sort of jazzy Christmas song begins to play as the house is once again lit up, but only with Christmas lights. He embraces her and says "Merry Christmas, Monica" she relaxes into his embrace and looks at the tree with a big smile and wishes him the same.

Docks: Max and Diane look at a snowglobe that came from a pawn shop and kiss. Spin and Maxie hover a bit on the level above them, and Spinelli pulls some jingle bells out of his pocket. They both sing a few lines of "jingle bells" well, I should say, that Maxie rather gorgeously sings it in her usual alluring and delightful way that is delightfully understated while Spinelli mumbles along in a way that at once sings along and at the same time doesn't get in the way of her very pretty voice. Max and Diane giggle at them.

Bernie's office: Bernie lights a candle in the dark and sings a blessing in Hebrew as he lights the candles. Easily one of the loveliest moment of the episode. I think we are supposed to gather that Spinelli gave Bernie enough candles to properly light the Menorah, but it's not specifically said.

Emma's Closet: Patrick and Robin snuggle with their daughter and wish each other a merry Christmas.

Spencer Home. Loo puts the angel on the tree, and Luke tells Laura about it on the phone as her children sing "merry Christmas" into the phone.

Jason's Penthouse: Maxie is surprised to see Santa, but of course, she has no problem believing it's him. She laments they only made it to a few houses and don't know what everyone wants for Christmas. Spin says they fixed the PDA. Santa says he already knows what everyone wants. Spin wonders what the true meaning was. Santa says it takes a special person to see what's in people's hearts. Spin gives Santa his jacket and asks for a picture. Maxie, Spin and Santa take an adorably well color coordinated pic. I would honestly send that to at least a dozen people as a Christmas card, it's so cute. Santa takes off. Spin and Maxie rush out after him to the terrace. She says she has to visit Mac now, but she says he's good and true and kisses him. It begins to snow on Spinelli, and he waves happily after Santa.

Spinelli awakes on the sofa. His phone is ringing, and it'ss Maxie. She says she thought she was having a weird dream, but there was a gift by her bed. He says he has a gift as well. She chastises "you have to open it!" he opens it, and it's the pic of Spin, Maxie and Santa. They are dorkily happy that it wasn't a dream, and then they dorkily turn to the camera and wish the audience a merry Christmas.