Previously on GH:
The U.S. military forgot how to make weapons without using plows, or something like that, and Nadine inherited the only plow on earth, but she had always thought that the military should use harsh language instead of guns, so she refused to let the military use her plow, and for some reason Hallifiction didn't buy her plow outright in the first place because apparently in the Port Charlesiverse, Dick Cheney and his ilk are less bright than Lucky Spencer. So now Natasha and her best bud, let's call her Silda Holis, are going to work together to bring down Hallifiction along with Nik and Nadine because apparently Eisenhower was a big dummy, and all we ever needed to bring down the military-industrial complex was Gidget. See also, Russ Meyer's controversial film: Faster Gidget, Kill, Kill.
I believe this is our last Natalia-free Friday, so enjoy.
Alexis' Office: Diane and Alexis seem to be working together to dissuade Carly and Jax from divorcing. oh, brudder.
Haunted Star: Luke and Sonny meet to drink and mumble. Sonny says he's playing Untruth or Dare with Jason regarding shipping highly illegal pillow cushions into Jason's territory. Sonny says he plans on convincing Jason he doesn't want to mess with Sonny, and he plans on taking over Jason's territory pier by pier. Luke calls it a bloodless coup. Sonny laughs and says haughtily that he's already taken over the Z's. Luke seems to believe it's a good idea but points out that once Sonny has all the power, that's when the trouble starts. Also, since when is Superjase going to not notice Sonny taking over his territory?
Cafe Interrogate: Claud visits Johnny. He seems pretty depressed. She is doing that annoying thing whereby she is wearing a headband, but no hair is actually being held back by it. She wants to help him.
Casa de 3's a crowd: Maxie is dressed in a red robe, and Spinelli enjoys the after glow of their George and Izzy-like sexcapades. Lemme guess, Jesse's stupid ghost is going to come back soon, and she'll start sleeping with him? Also, I had to stop watching Grey's Anatomy when it became stupider than Passions. Maxie says this seals their relationship, and now Winnie won't be around.
Docks: Raynor congratulates Winnie on being a good little spy.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Spinelli realizes Maxie isn't that into him. She just was reacting to Winnie.
Credits
DC: Nik and Nadine are meeting with "The Government" to talk about how she wants to beat their swords into plowshares and such. This is stupider than the time a spider bit Emily, and Nik had to take her to a magical garden to save her.
Alexis' Office: Diane explains they are going to go over the financial records with a magnifying glass. She says they will need lots of patient. Jax says he thought this would be easy. Alexis barks it could be if he'd stop sitting around like a lump and shine the light on Carly's myriad failings as a wife. Carly sits their wounded and tearful. Was the limo ride over not that fun, Carlycakes? is that the problem.
Haunted Star: Claud says she knew Wheels would do something dastardly. She says his choices are do what Wheels wants or go to prison. Johnny says what he wants also matters. He's still angry that Claud had to marry Sonny. Claud asks how much of Johnny's bravado has to do with Looloo and showing that he's decent. SHe reminds him that Loo won't be his soul mate.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Spinelli broken heartedly says he knows Maxie slept with him b/c of Winnie. Her eyes and face grow red with tears and she asks why he's saying "you. What happened to fair Maximista?" She says she didn't do anything bad, she just wanted to remind him of their connection. He sadly says she never wanted him and made an advance she knew he couldn't turn down. He starts to leave, but she calls after him that she was trying to stop him from making a mistake. Maybe you should have tried telling him you were pregnant or hooking him on drugs, first, Maxie.
Commercials
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Spinelli starts to leave, but he angrily asks why he didn't understand her low opinion of him, that she doesn't think he can make his own decisions. Maxie tearfully says everyone knows he's brilliant about facts and figures, but when it comes to people, he is a bit child like, and Winnie is a good example. Spinelli asks her to explain. She puts on her tough maxie face, but she unabashedly answers that his male role model and hero is a career criminal. She says that people take advantage of him, and Winnie is the most recent example. He says that's very insulting and mean. She crosses her arms and bites back tears because even though she's a mess, she really does believe that Winnie is using him.
DC: I dunno. Something about going to meet with senators to ask Hallifiction to quit making weapons, or something equally stupid.
Alexis's Office: Alexis continues to bash Carly. Diane bitingly reminds Alexis that they had an agreement, which is clear that they had agreed to stall the divorce. Alexis has decided she can probably do that by insulting Carly. Which is fine with me. Alexis calls Carly a trainwreck, so Diane calls Jax a traitor, so Jax asks them to get back to the meeting, and Alexis asks where they were, and Carly utters "trainwreck" heh. Alexis apologizes, but she's set her trap and Carly walks right into it. She admits she's done all the things Alexis said, but all those admitted failings aside, she loves him.
Haunted Star: Luke reminds Sonny that the feds will be looking at Sonny, and so far he's kept them off balance. He suggests Sonny grow a new set of eyes in the back of his head. he wants Sonny to succeed because they are friends and because it helps Luke's business. Luke explains that Johnny has been framed by Wheels and wants to know if Sonny can help. Gee, one guess, and the first 8 million don't count.
Cafe Interrogate: Claud lets Johnny know that Jerry Probst left a trail of bags of puzzle pieces all over the Corinthaus tribe, and she has to make it through the maze and over the balance beam and win individual immunity, or she'll be snuffed at tribal council. Then she cries because Sarah Joy Brown has to contractually cry every 3rd scene. Johnny talks about looloo, and Claud's head nearly explodes that Johnny's life is on the line, and he's rambling about Looloo. On cue, Looloo waltzes in. I wish I could be arrested in Port Charles. I'd love to get to see this much of my friends and family all day long!
Commercials
Haunted Star: Luke continues to explain that Wheels framed Johnny, and Ric won't do anything, so he needs another option. Sonny asks why Luke is interested. Luke explains that Johnny gave him money to open the HS and is his business partner. He says that a friend of his just happens to be the head of the Z'organization, so maybe he can pull some strings. Sonny mumbles something.
Cafe Interrogate: Claud and Loo exhcange cattiness. Looloo says she supports Johnny, but she's wearing an off the shoulder outfit. Claud passionately, once again, tries to help her dolt of a brother. Looloo does this thing that makes me think of ice picks and skull caps and speaks in a grating voice and asks if Claud cares about Johnny b/c she needs something. Claud looks at her with tearful rage, and I remember why I love Sarah Brown.
Alexis' Office: Carly makes an impassioned plea for her marriage, but she doesn't really plea. She simply apologizes. and stupid Jax's face only ever needed an apology. Not fidelity, or to come ahead of her ex lovers. Just remorse. Idiot. She leaves and Jax considers forgiving her. Idiot, idiot.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Whatever point Maxie could have ever had will be lost and Spinelli emotionally cries that she initiated sex to keep him away from Winnie. Her eyes fill with tears and she says if he thinks she's that shallow, then she doesn't know him. How is this bizarre, asexual couple delivering the most passionate, heart breaking performances of that last 18 months?
commercials
Haunted Star: Luke says he knows Wheels is kuckoo for cocoa puffs and it may cause problems for Sonny to get involved. (and also, he knows Sonny is a rat fink bastahd and calling him a loser like this will get his way) On cue, Sonny says he owes Johnny for putting him in Paddington last year, so he'll help.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Maxie venomously says that computer nerds are a dime a dozen, and she could have found anyone to help her. He says sadly that she lied about her feelings. She stands there, with her big, beautiful eyes full of tears, and she manages to disallow them to fall down her cheeks and issues a barrage of insults on him that Shakespeare would wince at. She says she pities him and thinks he's lame, but Georgie loved him, so she put up with him, but she's done with him and hopes he goes to Winnie. He allows this to wash over him and leaves. She runs to the door, slams it and weeps against it.
DC: dum dum dum dum dumdum dumdum dumdum
Alexis' Office: Diane is pleased about the outcome b/c they helped along the course of true love and also got a lot of billable hours. heh. Diane says it's great that both clients will go home happy. Alexis sadly says it would be great if Carly were capable of long term happiness. Eventually Sonny will crook his finger, and she'll trample all over Jax again. Alexis sadly asks what kind of friend she'd be if she facilitated this.
Metrocourt: Jax and Carly meet. Carly says Alexis is right about her, but she does love him. He says he knows. He says he instructed Alexis to make the divorce painless. Carly says divorce always hurts. (and she would know...am I right, people?)
Cafe Interrogate: Loo continues to invite an ice pick into her brain because she's acting like having a great father is an accomplishment to gloat over. forget all the times she treats Luke like dog poo, he's getting her stupid boyfriend out of jail, so she considers herself awesome. The guard shows up to say Johnny can go. Hilariously, he doesn't offer him his clothes or even unchain his legs. "take the floor with you" I guess is the subtext? Claud warns Loo that Luke better know what he's doing, and Loo smiles like a giant idiot b/c what does she care about comptence? Her boyfriends beats up cops and leaves them to die, and her brother is a cop, but she doesn't care about anything but Johnny's hotness. Don't get me wrong. I'd probably be an idiot about Johnny at 19 as well. Especially if I'd been 5 for 12 years.
Commercials
DC: Senator ViolinsInHisOffice says that the soldiers need good weapons. Nadine says she knows, but she doesn't want Hallifiction to make money, or something. SenatorViolinsinHisOffice says Hallifiction didn't start the war. Omg, I can't begin to tell you how much I loathe this story line. It's not even that it's dumb b/c I watched Marlena be possessed by the devil every day for months in college. It's that it's so halfassed.
Docks: Claud and her pleather coat rush to Sonny and says Johnny was just released from jail. Sonny plays it off, but Claud knows that Sonny was involved. She says Z'army isn't that into Sonny and Wheels will find out. Sonny says he owed Johnny. Instead of saying "yes, you do, you creep, you're almost even", Claud agrees that she now owes Sonny.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Maxie remembers getting the Most Awesome Mixed Tape ever in the form of the journal he made that traced the evolution of beauty since the dawn of time. In the present, she sits in the living room and sobs. Johnny and Loo stumble in, in a romantic clinch. Maxie sucks up her tears and says casually that she found what she was looking for regarding a poem Spinelli put in the book. Looloo actually manages to be Lulu for a minute and asks Maxie if she's okay. Maxie nods and shoves off the blankie and mumbles something about how she's fine b/c she's done it again, only this time it was to a true friend, and she rushes out the door while Johnny and Looloo look at each other in concern.
Commercials
It's just...show, if you want to make some sort of political blabber jabber about the military-industrial complex, then actually DO something. Don't cut and paste this tedious story line that makes no sense. So now suddenly Nik busts out a document for Nadine to sign that gives him control of the patent. A magical, non-notary requiring document. Nik announces that Hallifiction will thusly not be using the plow. They'll have to beat their thumtacks into swords, I suppose.
Split action: Jax and Carly's song plays. as they each go to their lawyers and ask for the longest divorce ever so they can have time to rebuild their marriage. Diane hilariously offers Carly a discount on her fee.
Haunted Star: Tracy is annoyed that she saw Luke cavorting with Sonny. Remind me again what Tracy loves about Luke? it's not the way he acts. it's not who he knows. they never have sex. why are they a couple? Luke charmingly warns her not to police his activities. FYI, this is the exact relationship Liz and Jason would have had if they had become a couple, so be glad for the pleasant moments you go.
Docks: Somehow Claud can tell that the ship in the distance is Sonny's ship, but it's heading towards Jason's pier. Claud says Jason won't stand for this and asks how he thinks Jason will react. On cue, their faces light up orange and we hear an explosion. You rat bastards better not have hurt the buoy bell! Sonny stares and then smiles with a bit of pride in his borg-like protege and says "well, probably like that." heh, I was wondering where Jason was this whole episode. You go, Superjase!
Other Docks: Maxie rushes about with a bouquet of flowers. She sees Spinelli and calls his name. At that moment, men in black show up to arrest Spinelli for treason and such. dun dun dunnnnnn.
the end
Showing posts with label Nik and Nadine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nik and Nadine. Show all posts
Friday, January 9, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
GH Recap 1/2: New Year, Same Show
Wyndermere: Nadine and Nik have one of this idiotic conversations whereby she blathers about some sort of rhyme. Something about a horse lost a shoe. I don't know. She thinks it's bad luck. I think DUH it's bad luck. That's like saying "omg, I got a flat tire, that means bad luck."
Sam's Apartment: Lucky shows up to be gravelly voiced and whiny and pouty and even if Sam wasn't already sick of him she would become so at this point.
Crimson: Meth Addict Maxie says she re-wrote the Espadrille article, and he was right, it was better. Spinelli panics because something has gone wrong with El Laptopo.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny is dressed for job interviews. She tells him to think positive. He hopes the interviewer has never heard of him. I think when random women on a Christmas tree lot have heard of the Zaccara's, then it's unlikely everyone hasn't.
Corinthaus: If I hear Jerry says "the window to your soul" one more time, I'm going to vomit. Claud calls Jerry a psycho, but then she clambors up onto the window ledge at the terrace and reaches around for the bag of puzzle pieces. Sonny walks in and asks if she thinks he doesn't know what she's looking for.
Credits
Wyndermere: Nadine poutily says that she knows he thinks superstitions are silly. What kind of idiot is sort of hurt if someone isn't all that traumatizd by a black cat walking by? Nik says he never gives knives as gifts or shakes hands through an open door. Watching these two is like watching The Simpsons. It all starts off where Lisa's horse lost a shoe, and then Bart rambles on about broken mirrors, but then it turns out the whole episode is really about some business man. It has all that disjointedness but none of the post-modern self-reflection. or enjoyableness.
Crimson: Maxie writes her article about shoes. This is a very shoe-heavy episode. Piano guy ploncks along merrily as Spinelli and Maxie type. If Spinelli and Maxie's keyboards were hooked up to musical keyboards, I imagine this would all sound like a John Davidson orchestral piece. I have no idea what's going on, but Spinelli sneezes. They really need to lay off the meth, these two.
Sams' Apartment: Sam has to hide a business card and tell lies to Lucky because she is so out of her mind bored with life unless she's lying or doing something dangerous. I was sad when her baby died, but I'm sort of relieved that her oddly placed uterus was shot.
Corinthaus: blah blah. Somehow Claud doesn't have to explain why she's climbing the walls like a crazy person. She manages to deflect and ask if Sonny is concerned about Kate.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Sam says whatever she's hiding is not illegal. Lucky angrily asks if she didn't learn her lesson from Jerry or following the Russian mob. Sam says she doesn't want to fight about this. He says he and Liz appreciate that she saved Jakeson, and if she's upset that he spent New year's Eve with her. She practically snorts in his face and says that's not it, she's glad he could help her. then she rapels out of the room. Not really. But she clearly wants to.
Crimson: Why does Spinelli have a cold? Why is that a plot point? Why is Maxie wearing a thousand bobbie pins in her hair? It's terrifying looking. Looloo odddly shows up to work. It's odd because she does it. They hear the elevator ding, so they rush to hide Spinelli. Kate comes in to get Maxie's article and her messages. She reveals she knows he's there. I think we are supposed to be amused.
Corinthaus: Claud is dressed like she's going to meet a bunch of thugs and have a dance off to regain territory, like MJ suggested in the 80's. Okay, so we just established that it's first thing in the morning b/c Loo brought coffee, and she and Maxie were at work before kate. But now Sonny and Claud are drinking bourbon. I only comment b/c he's the jerkweed who used to say AJ had a drinking problem. Sonny confides that yesterday was Chucky's birthday. He says his son is in a coma forever, and it puts things into perspective. Except...clearly it doesn't because Sonny is not doing anything to simply enjoy the people he actually loves that are not in comas. He says he likes the drapes, meaning he thinks Claud was climbing the walls b/c she was going to redecorate. Sonny has become Luckydumb.
Wyndermere: blah blah phone call. blah blah the plow patent is licensed to the Equinox corporation. Nik says they are a weapons manufacturer. Wait, not that I could give less of a rat's ass about this effing plow, but why is the patent licensed to anyone besides Raylene and now Nadine? Or is this one of those things where it turns out those pesky Indians from Spoon Island have been up to shennanigans again? Anywho, if Nadine ends up making an Iron Man suit, consider me gone.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Sam tries to assure Lucky that she knows his kids come first, and she knows Liz comes with the package. Lucky's phone rings, and he leaves immediately without even letting her finish a sentence. That would get old so quickly, if my husband had a phone like that.
Docks: Spinelli stumbles upon a girl talking to herself and typing on La Laptopa. She reminds me a bit of Molly Shannon in the face, and she has braids and glasses, so we know she's a nerd. Attractive people aren't able to understand computers, you see.
Corinthaus: Claud continues to run through the maze to find a bag of puzzle pieces, so she can build the Gabonese hut and win immunity. Ric hotly startles her.
Crimson: Kate and Jax look over headshots to find the right model. There is a lot of leopard print going on in this town today. Jax "hilariously" draws a mustache on a model's face and says they should go with something like that. Hot people are so annoying when they try to be funny. Kate and Jax flirt and flit about and Sonny shows up to be a big, grumpy, wet blanket.
Commercials
Wyndermere: blah blah how did a defense contractor get the patent. Nik says it explains the money. Nadine's phone rings, and it's Mr. Corday. She speaks like a mental patient and keeps repeating what he says so that Nik knows what's being said. I wish it was Mr. Corddry instead. Rob or Nate would do.
Docks: Nerdina thanks The Jackal for fixing her computer, and then she takes off.
Corinthaus: Claud angrily tells Ric that he had a decent childhood and a world class education. This marriage is giving her real power for the first time in her life. Gawd that's sad. She says Sonny is nicer to her than most men in her life have been. That's even sadder. Ric asks if she means him. She asks him to let her in on any plans he knows Wheels has. Ric hotly asks why Wheels would tell him anything. Claud says it would be to pit Ric against Sonny and make him feel important. Ric hotly scoffs that she has an overactive imagination. He drinks a bottle of Perrier and looks more nervous than a virgin in a pickle barrel. Claud picks up on this and tells him he can't trust her father. Even if John is really out of the picture, Wheels is not trust worthy. He asks her to tell him the plan, and they can hotly work out a side deal together. She pulls him into a quick kiss, but he says he doesn't know what she's talking about. He nervously gulps the water because that's not a guilty indicator at all. He leaves. and it's not exactly hot the way he leaves, but that just is because he's a good actor, and that is hot, so...he hotly leaves.
Johnny's Interviews: It's not going well. We only see Johnny's end of the interviews. He starts off with the typical cliche "people person, go getter" and then angrily says he's not his father. then he hilariously stands up and says with a tough guy accent "You want someone to keep jumping through hoops? Hire a monkey" and then he picks up a handful of pencils from the pencil holder and tosses them on the ground. heh.
Crimson: Sonny blah blah talks to Kate, and she tells him to go talk to his wife, and that is almost awesome, even for kHate. Sonny leaves and Maxie apologizes for letting him in. Kate says it's okay and tells Jax she hopes Sonny won't be back. She doesn't look remotely convinced that she means it, though.
Commercials
Wyndermere: Nik and Nadine meet with Mr. Corday. He wants to renew the license on the patent and gives Nadine a honking big check and will be back in 4 yeas when the license expirres. Nik says Mr. Corday is assuming a lot, and they are just getting started.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny comes him with a bloody knuckle and tells Loo it went badly, and he slammed a hole in the wall on the way out of one place. Why can't he just say his name is Johnny Jerome and get fake id's and stuff. If he hates his name, why keep it?
Sam's Apartment: Sam has summoned Spinelli to ask for help with the FBI guy that was asking her questions. she needs to know if he was investigating Spinelli. Spinelli believes he's lost his Jackalian prowess. Sam is very worried about him, and he leaves saying all is lost.
Corinthaus: OMG, SHUT THE EFF UP WITH THE EFFING WINDOW TO YOUR BLOODY SOUL BS. As per usual, Claud doesn't bother to check if anyone is home or just pulled up in the driveway, and she starts rattling around the house and knocking on mirrors. Sonny reasonably asks her what the hell she is doing now.
Commercials
Docks: Spinelli laments that El Laptopo has died. Buoy Boy clangs miserably. Nerdina has followed Spinelli and watches him with hero worship eyes. Maxie walks up and asks her why she's spying on Spinelli.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Looloo puts a wash cloth on Johnny's knuckle to stop the bleeding. I don't think Julie Berman has ever been around any sort of injury in her life because she oddly dabs the cloth on and takes it off over and over. They start to get frisky, but Lucky shows up with a warrant for Johnny's arrest. The hell? Wouldn't he call first to make sure they were even home? And why say "PCPD" when he knocked. on his sister's door?
Wyndermere: Nadine asks point blank if Equinox uses the patent to make plows. He says he can't answer. She tears up the check and says that they can't have her aunts invention then. He says it's not that simple. But the music they use is Stings of Silliness, and not Ominous Musings in D Minor, so we know it is very likely this simple.
Corinthaus: Sonny tells Claud that he will find out if she's hiding anything. He flashes the dimples, but the Drumbeats of Danger sound, so we know it's serious. Meanwhile, the stupid bag of puzzle pieces have fallen lose from the back of the mirror. Claud manages to react as minimally as possible so as not to draw Sonny's attention. Luckily, his back is turned. And also, he's kind of an idiot.
The End
Sam's Apartment: Lucky shows up to be gravelly voiced and whiny and pouty and even if Sam wasn't already sick of him she would become so at this point.
Crimson: Meth Addict Maxie says she re-wrote the Espadrille article, and he was right, it was better. Spinelli panics because something has gone wrong with El Laptopo.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny is dressed for job interviews. She tells him to think positive. He hopes the interviewer has never heard of him. I think when random women on a Christmas tree lot have heard of the Zaccara's, then it's unlikely everyone hasn't.
Corinthaus: If I hear Jerry says "the window to your soul" one more time, I'm going to vomit. Claud calls Jerry a psycho, but then she clambors up onto the window ledge at the terrace and reaches around for the bag of puzzle pieces. Sonny walks in and asks if she thinks he doesn't know what she's looking for.
Credits
Wyndermere: Nadine poutily says that she knows he thinks superstitions are silly. What kind of idiot is sort of hurt if someone isn't all that traumatizd by a black cat walking by? Nik says he never gives knives as gifts or shakes hands through an open door. Watching these two is like watching The Simpsons. It all starts off where Lisa's horse lost a shoe, and then Bart rambles on about broken mirrors, but then it turns out the whole episode is really about some business man. It has all that disjointedness but none of the post-modern self-reflection. or enjoyableness.
Crimson: Maxie writes her article about shoes. This is a very shoe-heavy episode. Piano guy ploncks along merrily as Spinelli and Maxie type. If Spinelli and Maxie's keyboards were hooked up to musical keyboards, I imagine this would all sound like a John Davidson orchestral piece. I have no idea what's going on, but Spinelli sneezes. They really need to lay off the meth, these two.
Sams' Apartment: Sam has to hide a business card and tell lies to Lucky because she is so out of her mind bored with life unless she's lying or doing something dangerous. I was sad when her baby died, but I'm sort of relieved that her oddly placed uterus was shot.
Corinthaus: blah blah. Somehow Claud doesn't have to explain why she's climbing the walls like a crazy person. She manages to deflect and ask if Sonny is concerned about Kate.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Sam says whatever she's hiding is not illegal. Lucky angrily asks if she didn't learn her lesson from Jerry or following the Russian mob. Sam says she doesn't want to fight about this. He says he and Liz appreciate that she saved Jakeson, and if she's upset that he spent New year's Eve with her. She practically snorts in his face and says that's not it, she's glad he could help her. then she rapels out of the room. Not really. But she clearly wants to.
Crimson: Why does Spinelli have a cold? Why is that a plot point? Why is Maxie wearing a thousand bobbie pins in her hair? It's terrifying looking. Looloo odddly shows up to work. It's odd because she does it. They hear the elevator ding, so they rush to hide Spinelli. Kate comes in to get Maxie's article and her messages. She reveals she knows he's there. I think we are supposed to be amused.
Corinthaus: Claud is dressed like she's going to meet a bunch of thugs and have a dance off to regain territory, like MJ suggested in the 80's. Okay, so we just established that it's first thing in the morning b/c Loo brought coffee, and she and Maxie were at work before kate. But now Sonny and Claud are drinking bourbon. I only comment b/c he's the jerkweed who used to say AJ had a drinking problem. Sonny confides that yesterday was Chucky's birthday. He says his son is in a coma forever, and it puts things into perspective. Except...clearly it doesn't because Sonny is not doing anything to simply enjoy the people he actually loves that are not in comas. He says he likes the drapes, meaning he thinks Claud was climbing the walls b/c she was going to redecorate. Sonny has become Luckydumb.
Wyndermere: blah blah phone call. blah blah the plow patent is licensed to the Equinox corporation. Nik says they are a weapons manufacturer. Wait, not that I could give less of a rat's ass about this effing plow, but why is the patent licensed to anyone besides Raylene and now Nadine? Or is this one of those things where it turns out those pesky Indians from Spoon Island have been up to shennanigans again? Anywho, if Nadine ends up making an Iron Man suit, consider me gone.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Sam tries to assure Lucky that she knows his kids come first, and she knows Liz comes with the package. Lucky's phone rings, and he leaves immediately without even letting her finish a sentence. That would get old so quickly, if my husband had a phone like that.
Docks: Spinelli stumbles upon a girl talking to herself and typing on La Laptopa. She reminds me a bit of Molly Shannon in the face, and she has braids and glasses, so we know she's a nerd. Attractive people aren't able to understand computers, you see.
Corinthaus: Claud continues to run through the maze to find a bag of puzzle pieces, so she can build the Gabonese hut and win immunity. Ric hotly startles her.
Crimson: Kate and Jax look over headshots to find the right model. There is a lot of leopard print going on in this town today. Jax "hilariously" draws a mustache on a model's face and says they should go with something like that. Hot people are so annoying when they try to be funny. Kate and Jax flirt and flit about and Sonny shows up to be a big, grumpy, wet blanket.
Commercials
Wyndermere: blah blah how did a defense contractor get the patent. Nik says it explains the money. Nadine's phone rings, and it's Mr. Corday. She speaks like a mental patient and keeps repeating what he says so that Nik knows what's being said. I wish it was Mr. Corddry instead. Rob or Nate would do.
Docks: Nerdina thanks The Jackal for fixing her computer, and then she takes off.
Corinthaus: Claud angrily tells Ric that he had a decent childhood and a world class education. This marriage is giving her real power for the first time in her life. Gawd that's sad. She says Sonny is nicer to her than most men in her life have been. That's even sadder. Ric asks if she means him. She asks him to let her in on any plans he knows Wheels has. Ric hotly asks why Wheels would tell him anything. Claud says it would be to pit Ric against Sonny and make him feel important. Ric hotly scoffs that she has an overactive imagination. He drinks a bottle of Perrier and looks more nervous than a virgin in a pickle barrel. Claud picks up on this and tells him he can't trust her father. Even if John is really out of the picture, Wheels is not trust worthy. He asks her to tell him the plan, and they can hotly work out a side deal together. She pulls him into a quick kiss, but he says he doesn't know what she's talking about. He nervously gulps the water because that's not a guilty indicator at all. He leaves. and it's not exactly hot the way he leaves, but that just is because he's a good actor, and that is hot, so...he hotly leaves.
Johnny's Interviews: It's not going well. We only see Johnny's end of the interviews. He starts off with the typical cliche "people person, go getter" and then angrily says he's not his father. then he hilariously stands up and says with a tough guy accent "You want someone to keep jumping through hoops? Hire a monkey" and then he picks up a handful of pencils from the pencil holder and tosses them on the ground. heh.
Crimson: Sonny blah blah talks to Kate, and she tells him to go talk to his wife, and that is almost awesome, even for kHate. Sonny leaves and Maxie apologizes for letting him in. Kate says it's okay and tells Jax she hopes Sonny won't be back. She doesn't look remotely convinced that she means it, though.
Commercials
Wyndermere: Nik and Nadine meet with Mr. Corday. He wants to renew the license on the patent and gives Nadine a honking big check and will be back in 4 yeas when the license expirres. Nik says Mr. Corday is assuming a lot, and they are just getting started.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny comes him with a bloody knuckle and tells Loo it went badly, and he slammed a hole in the wall on the way out of one place. Why can't he just say his name is Johnny Jerome and get fake id's and stuff. If he hates his name, why keep it?
Sam's Apartment: Sam has summoned Spinelli to ask for help with the FBI guy that was asking her questions. she needs to know if he was investigating Spinelli. Spinelli believes he's lost his Jackalian prowess. Sam is very worried about him, and he leaves saying all is lost.
Corinthaus: OMG, SHUT THE EFF UP WITH THE EFFING WINDOW TO YOUR BLOODY SOUL BS. As per usual, Claud doesn't bother to check if anyone is home or just pulled up in the driveway, and she starts rattling around the house and knocking on mirrors. Sonny reasonably asks her what the hell she is doing now.
Commercials
Docks: Spinelli laments that El Laptopo has died. Buoy Boy clangs miserably. Nerdina has followed Spinelli and watches him with hero worship eyes. Maxie walks up and asks her why she's spying on Spinelli.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Looloo puts a wash cloth on Johnny's knuckle to stop the bleeding. I don't think Julie Berman has ever been around any sort of injury in her life because she oddly dabs the cloth on and takes it off over and over. They start to get frisky, but Lucky shows up with a warrant for Johnny's arrest. The hell? Wouldn't he call first to make sure they were even home? And why say "PCPD" when he knocked. on his sister's door?
Wyndermere: Nadine asks point blank if Equinox uses the patent to make plows. He says he can't answer. She tears up the check and says that they can't have her aunts invention then. He says it's not that simple. But the music they use is Stings of Silliness, and not Ominous Musings in D Minor, so we know it is very likely this simple.
Corinthaus: Sonny tells Claud that he will find out if she's hiding anything. He flashes the dimples, but the Drumbeats of Danger sound, so we know it's serious. Meanwhile, the stupid bag of puzzle pieces have fallen lose from the back of the mirror. Claud manages to react as minimally as possible so as not to draw Sonny's attention. Luckily, his back is turned. And also, he's kind of an idiot.
The End
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
GH Recap 12/10: boring, boring, boring... GOOSE!
Emma's Closet: Robin made breakfast and has figured out how to hold Emma without terrifying her and thus has renewed confidence. Patrick cutely leans over and sort of smells Robin's wrist while she talks. Maybe he gives it a kiss, but it looked like sniffing...in an endearing way.
Petticoat Junction: Nik is going to help Nadine do chores. I can only imagine how riveting that will be.
Chez Zee: Johnny reads the paper shirtless on the sofa. Because he's unemployed now, so he just lives his entire life like Sunday morning. That sounds awesome. Jax bops in to say he needs his place back. Wait, this was Jax's apartment? Since when?
Jason's Penthouse: Jason is all business as Spinelli tries to tell him something. Before he can, Maxie trots down the stairs in the cutest nightgown ever. I think it has a petticoat for heaven's sakes. She cheerfully calls out good morning, much to Jason's chagrin.
Credits
Q Manse: Alice greets Luke. Luke is surprised that Tracy isn't back from Tiki Torture yet. Alice has all the fixin's for bloody mary's laid out on the table that normally just has disgusting room temperature oj and crusty pastries. Maybe it simply IS Sunday.
Emma's Closet: Robin lays Emma in her cute little bed that says "cozy baby" on the foot board. She whispers that she's read that baby digestive tracts take weeks to develop. Before Patrick leaves, Robin asks Robin to check on one of her patients. Okay, what in the hell? Is Robin on leave or is she not? Shouldn't she not have patients? Or is Night Shift on again, and this Mrs. Jessop is some crossover from there? Robin whispers to sleeping Emma that she's going to change clothes and be right back. As soon as she walks away, Emma starts wailing.
Petticoat Junction: Nadine and Nik put on super lovely, new clothes to go do these "chores". How hard can they be when you wear your everyday clothes to do them? I have a set of "chores" clothes that are so covered in paint and caulk that they can almost stand on their own. I'd never wear an outfit as cute as Nadine's to deal with pig slop. Nik seems to think FARM chores can't be that hard. If he's using my logic and assuming you need good boots and overalls for the work to actually be hard, then I agree...but even if you wear nice clothes, who on the planet doesn't know it's hard to be a farmer?
Chez Zee: whatever, Jax is evicting. Do real estate laws simply not exist in Port Charles? Does no one ever bother to read their lease?
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie chipperly makes herself at home, but Jason sternly bellows that Maxie can't stay with them and needs to leave.
Commercials
Shabby Stables Set: Nik insists he's descended for Kossack warriors, so he's sure he can do this. he asks how to milk a cow. Well, for starters, you get up 7 HOURS AGO and milk the cow. Geeze, show. It is a pretty black and white, cow though.
Chez Zee: Looloo tries to talk Jax out of his divorce. Why is this her concern or business? Jax says he's going to send a check to Johnny. Oh, so Looloo was only talking Jax out of his divorce so her boyfriend wouldn't have to move? Johnny says he can't afford rent there anyway.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie wants to stay. I thought she already decided against living here? She says The Danger is over, but Jason sternly says it's not. Maxie says she feels safe with Spinelli and Mac was wrong. Jason furrows his brow and says Mac was right, and he wouldn't want his kid anywhere near someone like him.
Nurse's Station: Matt and Piph gossip about Patrick's whereabouts last night. Patrick just says he had an outpatient. Piph asks after Robin, and Patrick says she's doing well.
Alex clip clops up. Sam apparently called her office and decided to stalk her here. Alexis wonders why she didn't just call. But Alexis hugs her and says she heard about Jakeson. Sam wants to talk and knows Alexis needs an explanation for what happened with Jerry. Alexis says that would be kind of good.
Commercials
Mr. Mad is making bacon-wrapped, pecan-stuffed dates for his work party tonight. I hope I don't accidentally eat 2 dozen of them!
GH Lounge Area: Sam explains that Jerry's plan was to blow up his ship, kill Sam and fake his death. Jason saved her. Sam explains that Jerry was on the ship when it exploded, and she seriously doubts he's alive. Alexis is grateful that Sam is alright. Sam says Jerry mentioned Alexis, and for what it's worth....but Alexis cuts her off before she can finish. She says the truth is Jerry was working her, and she was working him, and there's no amount of rationalization that will make her feel less horrible. Alexis tells Sam the drug charges are being dropped. Sam thanks her, and Alexis matter of factedly says she was never going to let them stick anyway. She goes off to work, but Sam stops her and apologizes for the pain and headache (and dropped storylines- the fake drugs, and improbable storylines-Alexis dating Jerry). Alexis (and NLG) seem glad to be done with it and says she could have handled it better. Then she kisses Sam's forehead and hopefully goes off to get a decent storyline.
Nurse's Lounge: patrick tells Piph that Robin and emma are probably taking a stroll in the park.
Emma's Closet: Robin has changed clothes and rocks Emma. She can't figure out why they were getting along last night but not now. Does Robin not know about driving around and putting the kid in the carseat while singing songs? or getting a swing? or putting Emma in a stroller and going for a walk? (assuming she's fed, changed and burped her?) Maxie shows up, and Emma instantly stops crying. that's awesome that Emma is like that little frog that sings "hello my baby, hello my darling", but he only does it when the guy is alone.
Shabby Stables Set: For some reason Nadine teases Nik about not knowing how to milk a cow. As if she wasn't shown how the first time, and as if she got better at it with practice. Nik is too wimpy to milk the cow. But it turns out Nadine just lured Nik out to the barn to make out? In front of a cow? So I hope this means that someone milked that poor cow several hours ago, so they aren't torturing her. Also, that's kind of creepy to get off on kissing in front of barn animals. Elsie moos in disgust.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason solemnly tells Spinelli that he triggered an explosion, and if Sam hadn't jumped out of the window with Jakeson, he'd be dead. Well, that's true, Jason, but there's a whole, giant series of events that compounds that: If you'd bothered to send guards to always be around your girlfriend and son, if you had bothered to keep better account of The Danger, if you had neutralized Sonny ages ago, if you had simply stayed in Africa. and, I don't know, maybe not so much with becoming a hitman for a living the next time you get the chance!
Commercials
I really don't think a bong and a beer could make this show watchable.
Q Manse: Edward is glad that Tracy has dumped Luke, but now the future seems dimmer to him. Apparently Alice makes a nice, spicy Bloody Mary. Maybe I need a Bloody Mary to get through this show. I'll see if Mr. Mad will make me one. He puts wasabi in it sometimes, for an extra kick. Alice thinks Luke can win Tracy back. Tracy walks in and angrily says she left him face down on the floor of Tiki Torture. He says he woke up and assumes she got her divorce, but they are far from the end.
Petticoat Junction: Nik says he did a great job, but he says they sure do have a lot of cows. Nadine says they have a milking machine. And then, you know what happens? Why Nik is sort of fake angry that she almost made him milk a cow. I sure hope they talk about how much the grass has grown since morning! My guess is 1 millimeter! What's your guess? Wait, don't tell me...let me guess what your guess is! or...hey...you can guess what I would guess your guess would be! That would fill up about 20 seconds of time, and it would be thrice as entertaining as this nonsense. Alfalfa comes into the living room, so now we have a third person to bore us to tears.
Emma's Closet: Maxie talks so fast. She's trying to figure out where to live. Alas, Kelly's burned down, so there's nowhere for a young ingenue to go these days. Robin suggests the classifieds and says she can help out with rent, if Maxie needs it. That is so nice. Maxie says there are tons of website rental places. Maxie rushes out of the room b/c I guess the internet isn't in Emma's closet?
Jason's Penthouse: Diane shows up and says Jason is going to be questioned by the Feds. It's a shame Diane doesn't have a phone. She is dressed all in purple, though, so that's a pretty good trade off.
Commercials
Q Manse: Did you guys know that Luke and Tracy are getting a divorce? I guess I missed this during the roughly 15 hours they've devoted to this exact same conversation. The good news is, Mr. Mad has realized that this break in our gutters is probably what is causing a crack in the sunroom tile to appear. We are thinking of fixing it later after a trip to the new Home Depot. I honestly think recapping that visit would be more entertaining than this. Tracy tells Edward that she would never divorce Luke, but he doesn't need to know. Poor, mad cow suffering, Edward is too befuddled to notice Luke's face blatantly peering around the corner. Luke looks quite satisfied with this news.
Petticoat Junction: WHAT IS THE BLEEDING POINT OF AUNT RAYLENE? Mr. Mad comes in and laughs "is that Alffalfa? and is she always on?" I explain she's doing this tedious guest spot for no good reason. Nadine explains she's not getting married, and Alfafalfa could not care less? So what was the point of all this? Just to torture Tyler Christopher and make him want any job but this one?
Maxie's Ridiculously Fabulous Apartment: Maxie finds a totally great apartment (other than the tediously exposed brick) to rent. It's cheap and it's supposed to suck. A crappy apartment wouldn't have a giant living room that's not also the kitchen and bathroom.
Jason's Penthouse: Diane explains that Jason's stonewall techniques will seem like arrogant contempt for the law, so he has to tell exactly what happened and why. Sort of like how OJ was a jerk and turned down a 3 year stint in jail b/c he expected a public apology instead, and is now facing 9 to 33 because the Judge decided he was "arrogant and stupid"?
Commercials
Mr. Mad just sang to me the Toys R Us theme song "from bikes and toys and video games, it's the biggest toy store there is"
Emma's Closet: Emma cries until Patrick picks her up. Robin dejectedly hands him the bottle. She's clearly upset and broken hearted that her baby hates her. Patrick says the first couple of months are toughest. The violins know that Emma is going to hate her forever, though, so they play a mournful tune. Robin thinks they have to hire a baby nurse and face the truth that she's a terrible mother.
Petticoat Junction: Oh, gawd, these two haven't died of typhoid yet? I miss Nik's neck. Why is he so bobble headed all the time? Oh heavens. Alfafalfa passed away while Nik and Nadine talked about how they aren't getting married.
Maxie's Fab Apartment: Stupid Looloo shows up and wants the apartment. They fight over it. Why are they acting like all that matters is who gives a deposit and gets approved first? Or, more to the point, why aren't they acting like they are clearly going to be roommates? Oh, here is comes. Looloo and Maxie are roommates. Kill me now.
Courthouse: Diane says she has to have a prelimary meeting, so she asks him to sit tight and not shoot anyone. Sam walks up and eyes Jason curiously. He eyes her like he needs some Activia. No idea what that was about.
The end
Petticoat Junction: Nik is going to help Nadine do chores. I can only imagine how riveting that will be.
Chez Zee: Johnny reads the paper shirtless on the sofa. Because he's unemployed now, so he just lives his entire life like Sunday morning. That sounds awesome. Jax bops in to say he needs his place back. Wait, this was Jax's apartment? Since when?
Jason's Penthouse: Jason is all business as Spinelli tries to tell him something. Before he can, Maxie trots down the stairs in the cutest nightgown ever. I think it has a petticoat for heaven's sakes. She cheerfully calls out good morning, much to Jason's chagrin.
Credits
Q Manse: Alice greets Luke. Luke is surprised that Tracy isn't back from Tiki Torture yet. Alice has all the fixin's for bloody mary's laid out on the table that normally just has disgusting room temperature oj and crusty pastries. Maybe it simply IS Sunday.
Emma's Closet: Robin lays Emma in her cute little bed that says "cozy baby" on the foot board. She whispers that she's read that baby digestive tracts take weeks to develop. Before Patrick leaves, Robin asks Robin to check on one of her patients. Okay, what in the hell? Is Robin on leave or is she not? Shouldn't she not have patients? Or is Night Shift on again, and this Mrs. Jessop is some crossover from there? Robin whispers to sleeping Emma that she's going to change clothes and be right back. As soon as she walks away, Emma starts wailing.
Petticoat Junction: Nadine and Nik put on super lovely, new clothes to go do these "chores". How hard can they be when you wear your everyday clothes to do them? I have a set of "chores" clothes that are so covered in paint and caulk that they can almost stand on their own. I'd never wear an outfit as cute as Nadine's to deal with pig slop. Nik seems to think FARM chores can't be that hard. If he's using my logic and assuming you need good boots and overalls for the work to actually be hard, then I agree...but even if you wear nice clothes, who on the planet doesn't know it's hard to be a farmer?
Chez Zee: whatever, Jax is evicting. Do real estate laws simply not exist in Port Charles? Does no one ever bother to read their lease?
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie chipperly makes herself at home, but Jason sternly bellows that Maxie can't stay with them and needs to leave.
Commercials
Shabby Stables Set: Nik insists he's descended for Kossack warriors, so he's sure he can do this. he asks how to milk a cow. Well, for starters, you get up 7 HOURS AGO and milk the cow. Geeze, show. It is a pretty black and white, cow though.
Chez Zee: Looloo tries to talk Jax out of his divorce. Why is this her concern or business? Jax says he's going to send a check to Johnny. Oh, so Looloo was only talking Jax out of his divorce so her boyfriend wouldn't have to move? Johnny says he can't afford rent there anyway.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie wants to stay. I thought she already decided against living here? She says The Danger is over, but Jason sternly says it's not. Maxie says she feels safe with Spinelli and Mac was wrong. Jason furrows his brow and says Mac was right, and he wouldn't want his kid anywhere near someone like him.
Nurse's Station: Matt and Piph gossip about Patrick's whereabouts last night. Patrick just says he had an outpatient. Piph asks after Robin, and Patrick says she's doing well.
Alex clip clops up. Sam apparently called her office and decided to stalk her here. Alexis wonders why she didn't just call. But Alexis hugs her and says she heard about Jakeson. Sam wants to talk and knows Alexis needs an explanation for what happened with Jerry. Alexis says that would be kind of good.
Commercials
Mr. Mad is making bacon-wrapped, pecan-stuffed dates for his work party tonight. I hope I don't accidentally eat 2 dozen of them!
GH Lounge Area: Sam explains that Jerry's plan was to blow up his ship, kill Sam and fake his death. Jason saved her. Sam explains that Jerry was on the ship when it exploded, and she seriously doubts he's alive. Alexis is grateful that Sam is alright. Sam says Jerry mentioned Alexis, and for what it's worth....but Alexis cuts her off before she can finish. She says the truth is Jerry was working her, and she was working him, and there's no amount of rationalization that will make her feel less horrible. Alexis tells Sam the drug charges are being dropped. Sam thanks her, and Alexis matter of factedly says she was never going to let them stick anyway. She goes off to work, but Sam stops her and apologizes for the pain and headache (and dropped storylines- the fake drugs, and improbable storylines-Alexis dating Jerry). Alexis (and NLG) seem glad to be done with it and says she could have handled it better. Then she kisses Sam's forehead and hopefully goes off to get a decent storyline.
Nurse's Lounge: patrick tells Piph that Robin and emma are probably taking a stroll in the park.
Emma's Closet: Robin has changed clothes and rocks Emma. She can't figure out why they were getting along last night but not now. Does Robin not know about driving around and putting the kid in the carseat while singing songs? or getting a swing? or putting Emma in a stroller and going for a walk? (assuming she's fed, changed and burped her?) Maxie shows up, and Emma instantly stops crying. that's awesome that Emma is like that little frog that sings "hello my baby, hello my darling", but he only does it when the guy is alone.
Shabby Stables Set: For some reason Nadine teases Nik about not knowing how to milk a cow. As if she wasn't shown how the first time, and as if she got better at it with practice. Nik is too wimpy to milk the cow. But it turns out Nadine just lured Nik out to the barn to make out? In front of a cow? So I hope this means that someone milked that poor cow several hours ago, so they aren't torturing her. Also, that's kind of creepy to get off on kissing in front of barn animals. Elsie moos in disgust.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason solemnly tells Spinelli that he triggered an explosion, and if Sam hadn't jumped out of the window with Jakeson, he'd be dead. Well, that's true, Jason, but there's a whole, giant series of events that compounds that: If you'd bothered to send guards to always be around your girlfriend and son, if you had bothered to keep better account of The Danger, if you had neutralized Sonny ages ago, if you had simply stayed in Africa. and, I don't know, maybe not so much with becoming a hitman for a living the next time you get the chance!
Commercials
I really don't think a bong and a beer could make this show watchable.
Q Manse: Edward is glad that Tracy has dumped Luke, but now the future seems dimmer to him. Apparently Alice makes a nice, spicy Bloody Mary. Maybe I need a Bloody Mary to get through this show. I'll see if Mr. Mad will make me one. He puts wasabi in it sometimes, for an extra kick. Alice thinks Luke can win Tracy back. Tracy walks in and angrily says she left him face down on the floor of Tiki Torture. He says he woke up and assumes she got her divorce, but they are far from the end.
Petticoat Junction: Nik says he did a great job, but he says they sure do have a lot of cows. Nadine says they have a milking machine. And then, you know what happens? Why Nik is sort of fake angry that she almost made him milk a cow. I sure hope they talk about how much the grass has grown since morning! My guess is 1 millimeter! What's your guess? Wait, don't tell me...let me guess what your guess is! or...hey...you can guess what I would guess your guess would be! That would fill up about 20 seconds of time, and it would be thrice as entertaining as this nonsense. Alfalfa comes into the living room, so now we have a third person to bore us to tears.
Emma's Closet: Maxie talks so fast. She's trying to figure out where to live. Alas, Kelly's burned down, so there's nowhere for a young ingenue to go these days. Robin suggests the classifieds and says she can help out with rent, if Maxie needs it. That is so nice. Maxie says there are tons of website rental places. Maxie rushes out of the room b/c I guess the internet isn't in Emma's closet?
Jason's Penthouse: Diane shows up and says Jason is going to be questioned by the Feds. It's a shame Diane doesn't have a phone. She is dressed all in purple, though, so that's a pretty good trade off.
Commercials
Q Manse: Did you guys know that Luke and Tracy are getting a divorce? I guess I missed this during the roughly 15 hours they've devoted to this exact same conversation. The good news is, Mr. Mad has realized that this break in our gutters is probably what is causing a crack in the sunroom tile to appear. We are thinking of fixing it later after a trip to the new Home Depot. I honestly think recapping that visit would be more entertaining than this. Tracy tells Edward that she would never divorce Luke, but he doesn't need to know. Poor, mad cow suffering, Edward is too befuddled to notice Luke's face blatantly peering around the corner. Luke looks quite satisfied with this news.
Petticoat Junction: WHAT IS THE BLEEDING POINT OF AUNT RAYLENE? Mr. Mad comes in and laughs "is that Alffalfa? and is she always on?" I explain she's doing this tedious guest spot for no good reason. Nadine explains she's not getting married, and Alfafalfa could not care less? So what was the point of all this? Just to torture Tyler Christopher and make him want any job but this one?
Maxie's Ridiculously Fabulous Apartment: Maxie finds a totally great apartment (other than the tediously exposed brick) to rent. It's cheap and it's supposed to suck. A crappy apartment wouldn't have a giant living room that's not also the kitchen and bathroom.
Jason's Penthouse: Diane explains that Jason's stonewall techniques will seem like arrogant contempt for the law, so he has to tell exactly what happened and why. Sort of like how OJ was a jerk and turned down a 3 year stint in jail b/c he expected a public apology instead, and is now facing 9 to 33 because the Judge decided he was "arrogant and stupid"?
Commercials
Mr. Mad just sang to me the Toys R Us theme song "from bikes and toys and video games, it's the biggest toy store there is"
Emma's Closet: Emma cries until Patrick picks her up. Robin dejectedly hands him the bottle. She's clearly upset and broken hearted that her baby hates her. Patrick says the first couple of months are toughest. The violins know that Emma is going to hate her forever, though, so they play a mournful tune. Robin thinks they have to hire a baby nurse and face the truth that she's a terrible mother.
Petticoat Junction: Oh, gawd, these two haven't died of typhoid yet? I miss Nik's neck. Why is he so bobble headed all the time? Oh heavens. Alfafalfa passed away while Nik and Nadine talked about how they aren't getting married.
Maxie's Fab Apartment: Stupid Looloo shows up and wants the apartment. They fight over it. Why are they acting like all that matters is who gives a deposit and gets approved first? Or, more to the point, why aren't they acting like they are clearly going to be roommates? Oh, here is comes. Looloo and Maxie are roommates. Kill me now.
Courthouse: Diane says she has to have a prelimary meeting, so she asks him to sit tight and not shoot anyone. Sam walks up and eyes Jason curiously. He eyes her like he needs some Activia. No idea what that was about.
The end
Thursday, December 4, 2008
GH Recap 12/4: Tim Gunn would not be able to make that work
I need to edit a joke I made poorly yesterday when Jason and Sam were in the mine shaft. I said "and then the shaft goes down, which must be a nice change of pace for it", but what I realize the actual joke was: and then the shaft goes down on Sam, which must be a nice change of pace for her. Sorry about that. It won't happen again.
Emma's Closet: Robin whines that sometimes babies cry, especially babies that make the mother openly sigh with hatred when she cries. Patrick thinks maybe Robin could go back to work. Robin also whines at this. Patrick scoops up Emma and runs off to find a nice, non-whining woman. Or not really, he just smiles.
Dogpatch: Oh, Look, it's time to learn more about Nik and Nadine's Hilarious Misadventures in Dogpatch, or what I like to call "Time to Watch the Puppies!" I would like to recap the rest of this horrible storyline all at once. This isn't based on spoilers, just my assumptions: Nik and Nadine get married for very stupid reasons, with hilarious results. Nadine learns that Nik never actually wanted to marry her, just as he realizes that he actually is in love with her, but she stupidly pretends not to be in love with him so that he is free to be with Carly (who Nadine thinks Nik is in love with). Then hopefully a herd of elephants kills them. (because Jax turned Spoon Island into an elephant farm. duh.)
Metrocourt: McFarty and Carly talk about a fancy party Kate wants to throw. Jax angrily walks up to tell McFarty that Carly gets no gossip about Crimson from now on. Carly explains to Mcfarty that it's going to be a bitter divorce.
Corinthaus: Sonny meets with Max and Milo. Claud shows up dressed like some sort of storm trooping kick boxer. Honestly, y'all, what is she wearing? Weird, tiny boxing gloves and a skin tight cat suit. Did I miss Project Runway's "Create a Comic Book Look for a Soap Opera Character" challenge last season? Claud angrily asks why Sonny started the meeting without her.
Credits
Emma's Closet: I'm all about a really well done post-partum depression storyline. (see also: Lauren on Young and the Restless), but that doesn't seem to be what this is. Robin has spent a few days with her daughter and is ready to give up.
Dogpatch: Nik's pants are very shiny.
Metrocourt: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen toots cheerfully in the lobby while Jax and Carly fight in front of a very uncomfortable McFarty. Kate shows up to sassy Carly a bit. They snot at each other about being prostitutes and such. Kate insists that Carly got her money from marrying rich dudes, while Kate earned her money. Kate and Jax happily go off to plan the Crimson Cocktail Party, while Carly her the Curls stew.
Corinthaus: Sonny dismisses Max and Milo. Claud tries the seductive tact with Sonny.
Commercials
I have been fighting a cold for a few days, so I've finally broken down and taken some Nyquil. This may end up being either a short recap or a bit of a confusing one.
Nurse's Station: Robin shows up looking for charts and messages. Wouldn't she be on some sort of official leave and thus not have any patients? What if she didn't suck as a mother and didn't come to work? Would her patients have all just died? Piph and Layla are surprised to see her, and Robin, is of course, her usual gracious self, and by that mean she's perfectly bitchy for no reason whatsoever. Robin trots off to be hateful and mean somewhere else, while Matt watches in concern.
Tiki Torture: Luke and Tracy play cards and fight about their relationship.
Crimson: Maxie comes back to work, and for some reason security doesn't escort her the heck out of the offices. Xylophone Guy must have wished Devil Wears Prada ended with Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt taking over Runway, because he happily plinks along as Maxie and Loo get seamlessly back to work and are happy about it. Since Looloo was never competent at this job before she disappeared for 4 months, I have no idea why she's suddenly capable now. Whatever. Hopefully Maxie steals her boyfriend soon by convincing everyone that Looloo is carrying Milo's child.
Commercials
Petticoat Dogpatch: screach screach whine whine (face face furrowed brow) what what what (it's okay) forgot to tell Raylene we aren't getting married WHOOPS! (face face confused)
Tiki Torture: Luke is mad b/c Tracy tricked him into embracing life, and now she doesn't want him b/c he's not dying. Tracy says she doesn't like her men to be invalids. She says as much as he hurt her, she admires who he is. Oh, they are about 7 sheets to the wind. Luke says he loves her and wants to stay her husband. Tracy tearfully says that's all well and good today, but what if Lllllaaauuuurrrraaa waltzes back into his life?
Crimson: Kate graciously welcomes Looloo back to work. Kate tells Loo that Claud if throwing a fit about the Crimson party, and she needs to know where Looloo's loyalties lie.
Metrocourt: Carly and Olivia hang out. Olivia hilariously says that Carly is not a silicon bimbo who's had everything handed to her. The silicon issue is clearly true, but she's been handed plenty. And apparently Olivia has too since she can afford to pay for a Brooklyn apartment while not working for months on end. The Brooklynites I know work 60 hours a week or have a roommate in order to pay for their apartments.
Corinthaus: blah blah. Sascha shows up to talk about the future. Violins play ominously so that we know we are supposed to take Sonny seriously when he tells her that he's in charge now, and that this will of course be shorthand to her that she's in a great deal of peril because Sonny is so powerful and awesome. Sonny should tip that chamber orchestra he carries around with him at all times to make him seem scary.
Commercials
Corinthaus: The Violins are working on Sascha b/c she begins to act afraid and says she's just the messenger....just the lawyer. She's not the Decider. She starts to back out of the room, but Max stops her. she says a child has been kidnapped. Sonny raises his fist (in the least menacing way a fist can be raised.) but Sascha stammers that if anything happens to her, there may be retaliation on the kid. Sonny blathers that he's tuff stuff and lets Sascha go. Claud lies that this is impressive. Or maybe Claud really does think it's impressive and is the sort of person who will watch Barbara Walters interview Tom Cruise and Will Smith and ask them what it's like to be so awesome and will think "that IS fascinating!"
Emma's Closet: Matt shows up with toys and gifts for Emma. In a very hijinksy move, Patrick gives Matt a Nascar toy and asks him to play with it with Emma. It's kind of cute.
Nurse's Station: Lainey's been dipping into the extensions bucket apparently. She notices Robin being aggravated at work. She also suggests that putting her feet up and drinking hot chocolate will cure her PPD. Lainey is a scientologist, it seems.
Dogpatch: Nik meets Aunt Raylene, played by Mary Gross. She played Alfalfa on SNL when Buckwheat was shot (in a parody of the Reagan shooting). Alfalfa asks Nik to be honest with her about Nadine. Which is an incredibly weird thing to do. Why is she automatically assuming Nik and Nadine aren't getting married? Does she know her niece is a complete whack job?
Commercials
Tiki Torture: I don't understand this bar. Why are there no employees? Why can Luke and Tracy drink the entire contents of the bar? They play the game where you hide something under one of three cups and move the cups around and guess where the thingy is. Meanwhile Luke says he will always care for Laura b/c they have kids, and she knows he's complicated, and she likes that. Tracy half sobs "it's always fancy dancing, and I can't believe a word of it." heh, that was a particularly drunken thing to say, even though it also made sense.
Dogpatch: Alfalfa and Nik discuss Nadine's feelings. Alfalfa says you can't predict the future and asks Nik to be kind to Nadine b/c apparently she's one bad dumping away from pulling an Ophelia.
Emma's Closet: Robin comes home and hears Matt and Patrick racing on the video games. ( I realize saying "video game" may sound to some like "listening to the victrola", but I don't know the various gamins systems. I tried bowling on the Wii system once after many glasses of champagne and found the whole thing to be out of my skill set) Matt leaves, and Robin sits with her family. Patrick gently tells her that they will get through this together, and she cries sweetly.
Corinthaus Terrace: Claud and John meet outside. Claud informs him that the Russians are about to make a move. Johnny is worried about Claud. I think they are talking about Chucky's shooting. John points out that it will be easy to kill Claud b/c he can always blame the Russians. Claud asks Johnny what he's going to do.
Commercials
Petticoat Junction: Nadine tells Nik the story of Raylene's love life. It sounds quite a bit like Jane Eyre, if Bertha hadn't died. Anyhoo, as I said at the beginning of the recap: Nik and Nadine are going to marry.
Crimson: Kate gives Maxie pages of notes. Olivia watches and tells Kate to take a break. Kate drags Olivia into her office and angrily tells her not to refer to her as Connie in the office again. Olivia agrees but thinks Kate is trying to prove something to Carly. Gee, maybe she has a huge business to run that employs hundreds of people? the hell? Just because your job in Brooklyn only requires you to work 40 hours a year, Olivia, doesn't mean that most people don't have to put in many more than that. Kate says that Carly set out to keep Kate and Sonny apart, and succeeded (the hell? Sonny had nothing to do with that?) Kate wants to show up at the party on Jax's arm and rub it in to Carly. Classy.
Metrocourt: We never did get Looloo's answer about her loyalties, but we next see her buddying up to Carly, but she says she promised Kate she could be professional and thus can't gossip bout Crimson. Carly quickly agrees and says she just wants to know what Kate is wearing to the party. Poor Looloo is probably too fashion stupid to know that Kate wouldn't want Carly to know this. Jax shows up to tell Carly "nice try" b/c this is one of those moments where standing 10 feet away from a conversation means you CAN hear every word and nuance. (as opposed to all the times Olivia has shouted "Dante is Sonny's son" and Sonny was 10 feet away and could NOT hear any of it.
Corinthaus: something about The Danger. I think Sonny tells Claud that Jakeson was kidnapped. He says he can't move on the Russians now. Claud quickly agrees and says if anyhing happens to the kid, he'll never forgive himself. For some bizarre reason Sonny says it sounds like Claud is talking from experience. Well, Sonny, since you just said Jakeson is the son of Jason's sometimes girlfriend, and Liz is also someone who is your friend, and we are talking about a BABY even if you don't know the baby, wouldn't you OBVIOUSLY feel bad if you did anything that caused injury to the baby? His intincts baffle me.
The End
Emma's Closet: Robin whines that sometimes babies cry, especially babies that make the mother openly sigh with hatred when she cries. Patrick thinks maybe Robin could go back to work. Robin also whines at this. Patrick scoops up Emma and runs off to find a nice, non-whining woman. Or not really, he just smiles.
Dogpatch: Oh, Look, it's time to learn more about Nik and Nadine's Hilarious Misadventures in Dogpatch, or what I like to call "Time to Watch the Puppies!" I would like to recap the rest of this horrible storyline all at once. This isn't based on spoilers, just my assumptions: Nik and Nadine get married for very stupid reasons, with hilarious results. Nadine learns that Nik never actually wanted to marry her, just as he realizes that he actually is in love with her, but she stupidly pretends not to be in love with him so that he is free to be with Carly (who Nadine thinks Nik is in love with). Then hopefully a herd of elephants kills them. (because Jax turned Spoon Island into an elephant farm. duh.)
Metrocourt: McFarty and Carly talk about a fancy party Kate wants to throw. Jax angrily walks up to tell McFarty that Carly gets no gossip about Crimson from now on. Carly explains to Mcfarty that it's going to be a bitter divorce.
Corinthaus: Sonny meets with Max and Milo. Claud shows up dressed like some sort of storm trooping kick boxer. Honestly, y'all, what is she wearing? Weird, tiny boxing gloves and a skin tight cat suit. Did I miss Project Runway's "Create a Comic Book Look for a Soap Opera Character" challenge last season? Claud angrily asks why Sonny started the meeting without her.
Credits
Emma's Closet: I'm all about a really well done post-partum depression storyline. (see also: Lauren on Young and the Restless), but that doesn't seem to be what this is. Robin has spent a few days with her daughter and is ready to give up.
Dogpatch: Nik's pants are very shiny.
Metrocourt: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen toots cheerfully in the lobby while Jax and Carly fight in front of a very uncomfortable McFarty. Kate shows up to sassy Carly a bit. They snot at each other about being prostitutes and such. Kate insists that Carly got her money from marrying rich dudes, while Kate earned her money. Kate and Jax happily go off to plan the Crimson Cocktail Party, while Carly her the Curls stew.
Corinthaus: Sonny dismisses Max and Milo. Claud tries the seductive tact with Sonny.
Commercials
I have been fighting a cold for a few days, so I've finally broken down and taken some Nyquil. This may end up being either a short recap or a bit of a confusing one.
Nurse's Station: Robin shows up looking for charts and messages. Wouldn't she be on some sort of official leave and thus not have any patients? What if she didn't suck as a mother and didn't come to work? Would her patients have all just died? Piph and Layla are surprised to see her, and Robin, is of course, her usual gracious self, and by that mean she's perfectly bitchy for no reason whatsoever. Robin trots off to be hateful and mean somewhere else, while Matt watches in concern.
Tiki Torture: Luke and Tracy play cards and fight about their relationship.
Crimson: Maxie comes back to work, and for some reason security doesn't escort her the heck out of the offices. Xylophone Guy must have wished Devil Wears Prada ended with Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt taking over Runway, because he happily plinks along as Maxie and Loo get seamlessly back to work and are happy about it. Since Looloo was never competent at this job before she disappeared for 4 months, I have no idea why she's suddenly capable now. Whatever. Hopefully Maxie steals her boyfriend soon by convincing everyone that Looloo is carrying Milo's child.
Commercials
Petticoat Dogpatch: screach screach whine whine (face face furrowed brow) what what what (it's okay) forgot to tell Raylene we aren't getting married WHOOPS! (face face confused)
Tiki Torture: Luke is mad b/c Tracy tricked him into embracing life, and now she doesn't want him b/c he's not dying. Tracy says she doesn't like her men to be invalids. She says as much as he hurt her, she admires who he is. Oh, they are about 7 sheets to the wind. Luke says he loves her and wants to stay her husband. Tracy tearfully says that's all well and good today, but what if Lllllaaauuuurrrraaa waltzes back into his life?
Crimson: Kate graciously welcomes Looloo back to work. Kate tells Loo that Claud if throwing a fit about the Crimson party, and she needs to know where Looloo's loyalties lie.
Metrocourt: Carly and Olivia hang out. Olivia hilariously says that Carly is not a silicon bimbo who's had everything handed to her. The silicon issue is clearly true, but she's been handed plenty. And apparently Olivia has too since she can afford to pay for a Brooklyn apartment while not working for months on end. The Brooklynites I know work 60 hours a week or have a roommate in order to pay for their apartments.
Corinthaus: blah blah. Sascha shows up to talk about the future. Violins play ominously so that we know we are supposed to take Sonny seriously when he tells her that he's in charge now, and that this will of course be shorthand to her that she's in a great deal of peril because Sonny is so powerful and awesome. Sonny should tip that chamber orchestra he carries around with him at all times to make him seem scary.
Commercials
Corinthaus: The Violins are working on Sascha b/c she begins to act afraid and says she's just the messenger....just the lawyer. She's not the Decider. She starts to back out of the room, but Max stops her. she says a child has been kidnapped. Sonny raises his fist (in the least menacing way a fist can be raised.) but Sascha stammers that if anything happens to her, there may be retaliation on the kid. Sonny blathers that he's tuff stuff and lets Sascha go. Claud lies that this is impressive. Or maybe Claud really does think it's impressive and is the sort of person who will watch Barbara Walters interview Tom Cruise and Will Smith and ask them what it's like to be so awesome and will think "that IS fascinating!"
Emma's Closet: Matt shows up with toys and gifts for Emma. In a very hijinksy move, Patrick gives Matt a Nascar toy and asks him to play with it with Emma. It's kind of cute.
Nurse's Station: Lainey's been dipping into the extensions bucket apparently. She notices Robin being aggravated at work. She also suggests that putting her feet up and drinking hot chocolate will cure her PPD. Lainey is a scientologist, it seems.
Dogpatch: Nik meets Aunt Raylene, played by Mary Gross. She played Alfalfa on SNL when Buckwheat was shot (in a parody of the Reagan shooting). Alfalfa asks Nik to be honest with her about Nadine. Which is an incredibly weird thing to do. Why is she automatically assuming Nik and Nadine aren't getting married? Does she know her niece is a complete whack job?
Commercials
Tiki Torture: I don't understand this bar. Why are there no employees? Why can Luke and Tracy drink the entire contents of the bar? They play the game where you hide something under one of three cups and move the cups around and guess where the thingy is. Meanwhile Luke says he will always care for Laura b/c they have kids, and she knows he's complicated, and she likes that. Tracy half sobs "it's always fancy dancing, and I can't believe a word of it." heh, that was a particularly drunken thing to say, even though it also made sense.
Dogpatch: Alfalfa and Nik discuss Nadine's feelings. Alfalfa says you can't predict the future and asks Nik to be kind to Nadine b/c apparently she's one bad dumping away from pulling an Ophelia.
Emma's Closet: Robin comes home and hears Matt and Patrick racing on the video games. ( I realize saying "video game" may sound to some like "listening to the victrola", but I don't know the various gamins systems. I tried bowling on the Wii system once after many glasses of champagne and found the whole thing to be out of my skill set) Matt leaves, and Robin sits with her family. Patrick gently tells her that they will get through this together, and she cries sweetly.
Corinthaus Terrace: Claud and John meet outside. Claud informs him that the Russians are about to make a move. Johnny is worried about Claud. I think they are talking about Chucky's shooting. John points out that it will be easy to kill Claud b/c he can always blame the Russians. Claud asks Johnny what he's going to do.
Commercials
Petticoat Junction: Nadine tells Nik the story of Raylene's love life. It sounds quite a bit like Jane Eyre, if Bertha hadn't died. Anyhoo, as I said at the beginning of the recap: Nik and Nadine are going to marry.
Crimson: Kate gives Maxie pages of notes. Olivia watches and tells Kate to take a break. Kate drags Olivia into her office and angrily tells her not to refer to her as Connie in the office again. Olivia agrees but thinks Kate is trying to prove something to Carly. Gee, maybe she has a huge business to run that employs hundreds of people? the hell? Just because your job in Brooklyn only requires you to work 40 hours a year, Olivia, doesn't mean that most people don't have to put in many more than that. Kate says that Carly set out to keep Kate and Sonny apart, and succeeded (the hell? Sonny had nothing to do with that?) Kate wants to show up at the party on Jax's arm and rub it in to Carly. Classy.
Metrocourt: We never did get Looloo's answer about her loyalties, but we next see her buddying up to Carly, but she says she promised Kate she could be professional and thus can't gossip bout Crimson. Carly quickly agrees and says she just wants to know what Kate is wearing to the party. Poor Looloo is probably too fashion stupid to know that Kate wouldn't want Carly to know this. Jax shows up to tell Carly "nice try" b/c this is one of those moments where standing 10 feet away from a conversation means you CAN hear every word and nuance. (as opposed to all the times Olivia has shouted "Dante is Sonny's son" and Sonny was 10 feet away and could NOT hear any of it.
Corinthaus: something about The Danger. I think Sonny tells Claud that Jakeson was kidnapped. He says he can't move on the Russians now. Claud quickly agrees and says if anyhing happens to the kid, he'll never forgive himself. For some bizarre reason Sonny says it sounds like Claud is talking from experience. Well, Sonny, since you just said Jakeson is the son of Jason's sometimes girlfriend, and Liz is also someone who is your friend, and we are talking about a BABY even if you don't know the baby, wouldn't you OBVIOUSLY feel bad if you did anything that caused injury to the baby? His intincts baffle me.
The End
Monday, November 17, 2008
GH Recap 11/17: Baby Come Back
Metrocourt: Carly meets Jax. She says she's done with the divorce papers and rips them in half. Then she makes this annoying, smug face and stares at him. She needs to blot her lipstick.
Kelly's al Fresco: Loo and Johnny make out in front of Kelly's b/c they don't really ever have anything else better to do. Claud walks up to yell at them that if she's miserable, he needs to be too. Or, you could just go get it on with hot ass Ric, but whatever, grumpy pants.
Sams' Apartment: Sam and Liz continue to drink coffee late at night and giggle and gossip about boys. Maxie says Jason is a stud and thinks there is still something there. Sam just laughs and says "stoooppp" in that way that doesn't really answer the question. Stolichnaya and Belvedere are still outside Sam's apartment and armed.
Wheatgrass Cafe: Oliva continues to pound on a door that is clearly locked instead of finding another exit. Sonny helps the barista out, and he tells Sonny he thinks a woman is trapped inside. Sonny enters the cafe as Olivia, in Jason's office, collapses.Credits
Nurse's Station: Liz gets back to work, telling Piph that she met with Jason about A Situation. then Liz beams when she sees Patrick wheeling Robin and the wee baby Emma home. He's cutely saddled like Shirpa with baby bags. Piph and Liz have dopey smiles on their faces, that are impossible not to happen when a baby that teeny is within 12 miles. The elevator opens, and Patrick has a moment of panic, worrying that the elevator might get stuck. Robin says they are going to be great, and then gives this funny little "I hope!" Heh, it is weird when they hand you a baby and just send you off into the world "good luck with that! It's entire future depends on you!"Metrocourt: Carly and Jax have already had this fight, so why are we watching it again? She tells him not to walk away from her kids and from "us". She says she said she was sorry, but she's acting like she's sorry that she forgot about missing dinner or forgetting their anniversary. She angrily says she didn't mean to hurt him. He sadly says she never means to hurt him. Diane walks by, anxious to get to a shoe sale in The Boutique. This nonsense that The Boutique is the only place in town you can buy nice clothes is so weird to me. Diane says she should get 20% off anything in The Boutique if she stands here and helps them. Diane angrily tells Jax that he is so lucky that Carly even speaks to him b/c he's been a disastrous husband in every way. Carly is very smug about this.Sam's Apartment: Sam tells Maxie how she enjoyed the rush of escaping the ship, and she felt alive when she hit the water, and when she saw Jason was alright, she was glad they pulled it off. Maxie insists that Sam is as hooked on Jason as she is on the adventure. The door knob turns. They are still for a moment, but it turns out to be Lucky. Poor Maxie's face tries not to bleed awkward all over the place as she watches her best friend embrace the man she once loved enough to fake a pregnancy for. I've yet to meet the man I love that much. I hope I never do! Lucky tells Maxie they faked the break up.Kelly's al Fresco: Claud and John yell at each other about The Danger and The Marriage. Looloo scoffs and says there is no way Claud is marrying sonny. Claud talks to John like Loo isn't there and asks him to explain it to her.Wheatgrass Cafe: It's too bad there are all those little plants on the tables because I think it made the fire much stronger. Sonny, of course, manages to get Olivia out of the building b/c for some reason Jason's office locks people in the office but not out of the office. Mobsters are weird. Jason, of course, shows up just as Sonny pulls Olivia out. I love that Liz called Jason's building being on fire as "a situation came up." Shouldn't she be alerting the ER that there may be incoming patients?Commercials
Michael Corinthos Memorial Park: Nadine runs into Nik and blathers that there are worse criminals than him, and he shouldn't be deported. Nik says she lost him. She says, don't worry about it, and yes, I'll marry you. Heh. She's all helpful about it.Metrocourt: Diane assumes that Jax has been absent physically and otherwise for almost as many days as he's been present since they got married. She says it must be easier to blame Carly for everything than take some responsibility. Jax points out that Carly just said she slept with Sonny earlier. Diane points out that Jax and Carly aren't living together anymore. She says Carly is a saint for wanting to contest the divorce. Carly looks like she's about to make out with Diane. They scurry off together to go on a shopping spree at The Boutique. I imagine The Boutique as being four entire floors of the hotel.Kelly's al Fresco: Claud tells Looloo that Johnny will make the same sacrifices she does, if he needs to. She says marrying Sonny is just business. Looloo says she doesn't have to listen to this, so she stomps off, with Johnny at her heels. Claud calls out that he's like a puppy dog.Sam's Apartment: Maxie says she's glad they are together, but she wants to get the heck out of there. Sam thanks her for girl talk time. Maxie admits to Lucky that she and Liz fought, and his name came up. Lucky says it's all in the past. Maxie continues to stutter awkwardly but says she really does hope they find happiness. She skeedaddles, with Stolichnaya close at her heels. Luckys asks what that was about. Sam says Maxie has a hard time adjusting to the fact that she's actually a good person. Lucky gets a call and has to leave.Wheatgrass Cafe: Olivia gets wheeled away. Sonny says to Jason "we have to get The Revenge." Jason angrily retorts "what, you got a frog in your pocket?" No, really he just says "no, not we."Commercials
Scrubscar: Robin sits in the backseat with Emma. Patrick is very concerned that they didn't buckler her in properly. Apparently Patrick went and bought a mini van when he wasn't sitting by her bedside. He's driving about 10 miles an hour in a 30 zone. Robin teases him and says it's good he's being safe, but they'd like to get home today.Michael Corinthos Memorial Park: Nik sputters that he appreciates the offer, but he has a team of lawyers, and is sure they'll come up with something. Nadine says it's no problem, and it's the least she can do. She rushes off to take care of wedding details. Wow, I don't know how I could care less about how this turns out.Metrocourt: Carly and Jax fight some more, but I can't bear to care. Kate shows up to angrily says she and Sonny broke up for good "so Sonny's all yours" Carly has the nerve to look confused by this.GH: Liz talks to Olivia. She asks where the fire was. Um, hello, Liz, you know the answer to this. Olivia says it was at Jason's office and Jason was there and helped Sonny pull her out of the fire. For some reason Liz stares into the distance like this is in some way surprising to her. Did she think Jason was lying when he said "I think my office is on fire"?Wheatgrass Cafe: Sonny stutterbarks that Krapov chained him and threw him into 8 feet deep of harbor water. Jason says the only way he can protect his people is to distance himself from Sonny.Commercials
Scorpio-Drake Home: Patrick has a hard time finding a key. Why wouldn't it be with the car key? They get settled in. She says she's still sore from the c-section, so he has to d a lot of the heavy lifting for awhile. robin says Emma needs to be changed. Har dee har har, poopy diapers are funny.Metrocourt: Kate bitterly says that Carly did what she set out to do. Carly acts like she is confused. So aggravating. Kate says that Carly is always at the right time and place when Sonny needs her. She says she's no match for Hurricane Carly. Carly obnoxiously says it's typical that Kate would blame someone else for her failings. Kate gets a call from Piph that Olivia has been admitted for smoke inhalation. Kate tells Jax and then rushes off. Carly and her poofy curls yells at Jax that Kate is pathetic for blaming her. Jax says he agrees with Kate.Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason yells at Sonny that he'll clean up the mess, but Sonny needs to stay out of the way. Lucky and Spinelli show up and ask what happned. Sonny, in his usualy stilted way, tells that he showed up and saw men tearing the place up with baseball bats, and he saved a woman. Lucky asks if he knows who started it. Sonny says he doesn't know, but he assumes they were after Jason. Then he walks away, all sad and dejected (and pointless and annoying).Commercials
This episode is pretty nap inducing.
Scorpio-Drake Home: Robin and Patrick silently celebrate after Emma falls asleep. I think she's sleeping in that closet. Patrick says he used to be too arrogant to count his blessings, but he's going to change that. Her being here is a miracle to him. They start to kiss, but wee Emma starts to cry.Metrocourt: I cannot bear one more second of Jax and Carly bickering about their failed relationship. She's even wearing a purple dress of the shade my bridesmaids wore, and still I find no joy or mirth from this scene.Nurse's Station: Shawn Douglas brings Liz Olivia's file and says she can go home tomorrow. Liz gossipingly asks if Shawn knows how Olivia got caught in the fire. Sonny shows up to mumble something about Olivia. Both Shawn D and Liz seem to have no worries about medical ethics and happily tell a non family member all about Olivia's prognosis and whereabouts. Liz is still on duty, but that means about as much to her as Sonny means to me, so she packs up her stuff, even though Piph is watching, so she can rush off to "run errands"
Olivia's Room: Sonny expects gratitude from Olivia for saving her. She reasonably points out that she only needed saving b/c she got caught in the mob war crossfire that he started.Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason asks Spinelli to go and ask Laptop to figure out every scrap of information about all Russians that might be in the country. and fast! Jason then half whsispers to Cody "and now we take the Russians OUT"
Snowy Park: I think this is the place where Georgie was killed. How spooky if it is. Maxie suddenly notices that Stolichnaya and Smirnoff are following her. They grab her as she squeals to be let go.Commercials
This feels like the longest episode ever.
Kelly's al Fresco: Why are Looloo and Johnny obsessed with this location? She says he didn't have to take her to dinner at Metrocourt b/c just like it's the only hotel, and only place to have an office, and only place to buy clothes, it's apparently also the only fancy place to eat in town. Loo suggests that Johnny quit taking money from his family. and I suppose he's supposed to make enough money to live by working 3 shifts a year at a diner that just burned down?Olivia's room: Sonny and Olivia bicker, but Kate shows up and eaveslurks and realizes that their banter is really foreplay.Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason instructs Cody on Wardom. Liz shows up, dressed all in white like a little adorable snow angel. She could be put on top of a Christmas tree she looks so sweet and pretty. She stares at Jason curiously. I guess people in this town are either guided by their heads or the laps. and somehow their hearts stop any communication between the two?Spooky Steps: Spinelli happens upon the place of Georgie's murder and sees a figure lying there. For a second, I think he thinks he's just having a horrible memory of Georgie's death. But then he realizes it is a real person,a nd then he realizes it's Maxie. He stands frozen, and has to force himself to call out her name. Then he runs to her and clutches her lifeless body to his.those are some bad bottles of vodka to hurt Fair Maxie!
The end.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
