GH Recap: 12/9: Free Will(ie)

Crimson: Mac continues to tell Spinelli to stay away from Maxie. She insists her life is better with Spinny in it. Mac says she won't have a life if Spinelli is around. Spinelli says he won't leave Maxie's side. Then we go to more promos for the day for some reason, so I don't know what just happened.

Corinthaus: Sonny angrily asks what happened to Olivia, who is bleeding all over his sofa.

Spencer Home: Liz reunites with Jakeson. Lucky brings Cameron out, and Cam cutely greets his baby brother, who so clearly has a different father, it's not even funny at this point. Jason watches his family that he can't have because he prefers killing people and acts all anguished about his free will.

Credits

Spencer Home: Lucky asks who wants popcorn. Cameron pipes up "meeee! Yayyyy!" Lucky brings the boys in so that Liz can tell Jason that her heart is so full of gratitude. Jason softly says Liz should thank Sam.

Crimson: Mac forbids Maxie from seeing Spinelli while she's living under his roof. If she can't abide, she has to find her own place to live, and he's cutting her off, meaning she can't take the car. Well, how old is Maxie by now? Isn't it more than past time she be on her own regardless? Spinelli tries to intervene. Maxie says she isn't turning her back on Spinelli, so if she has to live on her own and take public transportation, so be it. Mac says he's not backing down, but clearly neither is Maxie. Mac can only snottily say "proud of yourself?" to Spinelli and leave. Maxie says it's time to move out anyway, so she can't give in to Mac's blackmail.

Metrocourt: Carly and Jax are all gross and breathy and flirty. I've seen this particular scene 18 times now. I don't believe that's an exageration.

Corinthaus: Olivia explains about meeting a blond Russian woman. Claud mocks Patrick that his first instinct was to bring a stabbed woman here instead of a hospital. Sonny asks why Olivia didn't go to a hospital and she says "my son." She manages not to say "don't tell Sonny he's the father", though, and we've learned how impossible that is for her to avoid saying every chance she gets.

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Corinthaus: Olivia explains her son will flip if she goes into the hospital again. Does he check the hospital rolls every single day, or something? Why would he know if she was in the hospital? She's going to be lying to him by not saying she was stabbed, anyway, and it will be super lame when she gets a staph infection from using strings from a tennis racket to sew her up. She doesn't want Kate to know either. (Claud had suggested Max and Milo carry her over to Kate's and drop her off.) Sonny agrees to let her be carried upstairs.

metrocourt: Jax and Carly talk.

Mac's House: Robin visits and defends Spinelli, that he's a good friend and would take a bullet for her. Mac says that this is his point: hanging around Spinelli means Maxie might actually be in the line of fire for a bullet.

Crimson: Maxie is proud of Spinelli for standing up to Mac. He thanks her, but thinks Mac had good points. He's worried about blow back from his mobster ties. Maxie has had the mobsterlabotomy that broads get on this show and has a big, cheery blind spot when it comes to The Danger. She just knows that she's a better person for knowing Spinelli, and having him in her life is non-negotiable. Spinelli says he's impressed with her passion. She says she can only say this once: he's funny and wonderful and smart, and having the choice between one hour with him and happily ever after with someone else, she picks him. Maxie thinks Mac is a mess b/c he misses Georgie, and she's a career woman now and should have her own place. Spinelli offers her Stone Cold's house as a temporary place. She doesn't think that's smart, and assumes Jason and Sam are going to "bang like bunnies" after their adrenaline rush.

Spencer Home: Sam humbly says Jason did all the work, and she was just there to resist. Liz stares at Jason and says she's forever indebted to Sam. Sam is surprised and says Liz doesn't owe her anything. Liz goes back to staring at Jason and tells Sam she's sure Lucky will want to thank her himself. Liz goes inside, and Sam asks Jason if he's alright. He has sad, brimming eyes. Lucky rushes out to embrace Sam and say he's glad she's safe.

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Mac's House: Maxie shows up in a fur coat. I hope that is faux! She angrily tells Mac and Robin not to gang up on her. Mac gently tries to make amends and says she's welcome here. She says she appreciates his concerns, but her moving out isn't about Spinelli. She thinks it's time she stand on her own.

metrocourt: carly and jax. Jax has just now figured out that he can't have a life with Carly. He accepts his own blame in the relationship. She cries that she didn't want their life to be about blame and regret. Well, then maybe not so much with the cheating on him ever few months and picking your exes over him over and over again.

Spencer Home: Lucky asks if they thought about calling the police. Sam says the considered it, but Jason thought it would put Jakeson in the middle of a stand off, so they just went for it. Lucky is kind of a jerk about it, but Sam stiffens and points out that Jakeson is home. Lucky relents and agrees this is the point, but he and Sam clearly are going to have to pout and be defensive about this respectively. Lucky goes back inside.

Corinthaus: Sonny and patrick have a drink and talk about fatherhood and Robin. Patrick says he's getting the hang of it and Robin will adjust. Patrick finishes his drink and asks if these are Sonny's only questions. I always love a character who openly can't stand Sonny and puts on a facade of politeness. Sonny asks if Patrick thinks he should call Olivia's son and tell him about her injury. Patrick tries not to gulp to noticeably.

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metrocourt: Jax asks what the definition of insanity. (the answer is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results), but Carly says something about two people who love each other but are getting a divorce. No, Carly, that's the answer for the question: Who are my least favorite characters on the show at this point and what are they doing? Jax gives Carly his ring as she sobs in protest.

Corinthaus: Patrick says it's not up to him how he deals with Olivia's family. Sonny says he knows, but then basically goes on to indicate that he doesn't know. He rambles on that Olivia was like a cat? the hell? Is that a euphemism for her lady parts? Sonny needs to know if Olivia is really okay. Patrick says Olivia is fine, and there's no medical need to alert her family. He says it should be up to Olivia when she tells her family. Sonny again says he knows, but who knows what he thinks he heard Patrick say "Sonny, you are the wisest and sexiest mobster ever, so the world awaits your kingdom" or something along those lines is my guess. SOnny sends his well wishes to Robin. Claud shows up to add "and tell her we are married and accepting gifts" heh. That is mightily obnoxious.

Mac's Home: The least realistic thing I've ever seen is that Maxie is already packed. Also, why is she moving out in the middle of the night? No matter how career-wise or independent you are, you can't rent a new place at midnight. Maxie thanks Mac for his wisdom and support and for giving them a place to call home. Robin sweetly agrees. Mac tells Maxie to go out there and reclaim her life and that fashion career, and go and be the best she can be "I now you will. You'll dazzle the world." aw. Maxie says she has to leave before she cries, and she hugs him, promising to tell him where she's staying. She hugs Robin and leaves. Mac says he can't imagine how quiet this house is going to be. Robin says it's hard, but for the best. Mac teases that Emma is just a baby, but he can't wait to hear the song she sings when Emma is grown and leaving, hitching her star to a junior mobster. Robin laughs and blanches and says "ack, thanks for that picture." But it is true. When Emma and Jakeson fall in love in 12 years (when they are 22) , it is going to be hard on Robin!

Mob Mobile: Jason drives Sam home. She says she hurt her hip when she jumped from the window. Sam waxes philosophic. It must be all those law classes she's taking. She's glad to be alive and that Jakeson is safe. She worriedly asks Jason if he thinks Jakeson was okay. She pictures him in her mind and then reassures herself with a laugh that he was calm and steady, and says he was like Jason. Jason's big blue eyes are bright red from almost crying, and he forlornly laments that he doesn't want Jakeson to be like him, "I hope he doesn't even remember me."

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Mac's House: Mac puts on his coat to go off to work and distract himself. Does this mean he'll actually be competent? Patrick shows up at this point. Patrick and Robin talk about their busy nights, and how Patrick had to save Olivia. Robin teases that there must have been a reward involved. Patrick says he doesn't even see other women anymore. I wonder if it's like how color is for Stephen Colbert. Patrick just sees a human form, but has no idea what the gender is, unless it's Robin?

Corinthaus: Claud angrily flips through a magazine. I think it's called "SMARM" magazine. That is kind of awesome that someone went to the trouble to make a fake magazine called Smarm. Claud and Sonny bicker about a woman being in the house. Sonny insists Olivia is not into him. Sonny says he's only in love with Kate.

Mob Mobile: Sam asks Jason about telling Liz and Lucky that she saved Jakeson. She says Jason isn't giving himself enough credit, and she lists all he did. He angrily interrupts to say he's also the one who set off the explosion, and this was not the first time he put Jakeson in danger. He swears it will be the last. oops, I hope you aren't swearing on the inconstant moon, or anything Jason, because it monthly changes its circled orb.

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Carly's House: Or, is this a room at Metrocourt? because it's not all blue and chocolate colored. Maybe this is her bedroom. She holds a picture of Chucky riding a bike and cries that she misses him so much. She knew no man would like being second to Sonny. She then says there is just a small place that belongs to Sonny. She thinks she's either finally growing up or a complete fool. I can't follow what's going on her her bizarre Sonny addiction and her need for other men to like it, when she herself can't bear for another man to have so much as a conversation with another woman. Shut up, Carly's nonsense. Just go set some files on fire or cheat on someone. I don't need self reflection from a crazy person.

Corinthaus: Olivia comes downstairs and Sonny says whoever did this will pay. Claud hilariously yells 'oh come ON' and tells Sonny that he shouldn't invite more trouble just b/c Olivia eavesdropped. She starts yelling about The Danger and Mr. Mad chuckles from his office and says he loves that there are "Russians" involved in this soap. Olivia tells Claud something that makes Olivia smirk and puts Claud in her place.

Spencer Home: Lucky reads a story to the boys, while all of them sit in a big pile as warm and loving as the puppy pile.

Sam's Apartment Building: Jason thanks Sam again. She says she owed him and Liz. He says that's done now. They wait for Rie Sinclair to start singing their song, but she doesn't, so Sam says goodnight and goes inside. Jason gets back in the Mob Mobile and tries to figure out where to go now that won't hurt his kid.

The end.

GH Recap 11/23: Cold Turkey Has Got Me On the Run

I heard the John Lennon song Cold Turkey the other day, and I really liked the arrangement. I think it's actually about heroin, but the chorus seemed fitting for the week in real life and for our dim witted heroines.

Previously on General Hospital:

Indians used to live on Spoon Island. Jactslikeanidiot kidnapped Nik's son and then Nik found out and didn't press charges but remained bitter and angry when Jax was around, and Jax didn't appreciate the 'tude, so he bought the island in the least realistic way imaginable and is now taunting the man whose child he once claimed was his own.

The Danger showed up in a Russian form and burned down a diner that is older than my earliest memories, but also Sonny's stupid coffee house, and so Lucky and Jason decided to protect their women and children by sending them to a desolate cabin that just happens to have running water and a cord of firewood and is perfectly stocked but not at all dusty, and they, of course, sent them with no guards or cops.

Jactslikeanidiot continues to taunt Nik about Disneyland:Spoon Island.

[collapse expanded text]Corinthaus: Claud scoffs at Sonny's lame proposal saying it's not enough, but then Olivia walks in, and I guess that is enough, so she tells Olivia to tell Kate that she and Sonny are getting married.

PCPD: Apprently someone clued in Mac that half the town was burned down last night, so he's summoned Jason to chastise him.

Hidden Cabin: Sam and her t-shirt contest shirt and Liz re-discover that they are on their own.

Credits.

Desolate Cabin: Liz scoops up her boys and heads for the bedroom. She masterfully has them all play fort, so it's not terrifying that they are hanging out in the dark. Sam puts a chair under the door knob, which will be so effictive for a door with a window, but whatever, it's something. She loads a gun and goes into the bedroom. She and Liz say they are going to play "look out the window" while the boys play Fort. Then she and Liz heave a mattress in front of the door. and try to develop the power of invisibility.

Cafe Interrogate: mac gravely tells Jason about all The Danger and how Maxie was involved. Jaosn insists he hates all of this too. Mac is so scary and angry. Why can't they write him as an actually potent police chief? Jason sits there in cuffs, rubbing his face. Mac says that no matter what they call it in Mob World, in Mac's world, they call it murder, and he's going to shut the mob down.

Wyndermere: Nik points out that his lawyers are dealing with the fake estate interests. Carly flops all about but rightly points out that Spoon Island is creepy and bad things happen here, so it's a hard sell as a resort. lol, I hadn't even added the annual murder (or semi-murder) that happens here. Nik says he'll get back the unicorn, or he'll tie this up for years in court. Jactlikeadouche says he's fine with that and claims it's not personal. Carly says no one starts building in upstate NY in winter. Jactslikeadweeb names it "Spoon Island Spa"

Jake's: Johnny gets drunk and Looloo promises to love him no matter what. Looloo-pie, no matter how hot the guy, if he drinks as much as Johnny? It never ends well. Not even taking the body count into consideration. Why is Loo dressed like a peacock vomited on her?

Corinthaus: Olivia asks Sonny what he wants her to tell Connie. He says he'll handle it. She says no one but her should say. She puts on a disappointed voice and says she's not surprised. She wishes he'd been honest about what power means to him. Olivia, he was. Kate chose to labotomize herself with that knitting needle she got from Vera Wang's warehouse. Olivia leaves angrily and Claud asks "which cousin are you really in love with? Kate or Olivia?" Oh, Claud, don't you know by now? Sonny is always in love with the woman he hasn't slept with either yet or most recently.

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Wyndermere: Jactslikealosah tells Nik that he can taunt him if he wants. 'scuse me? Nik is taunting whom? Nik pulls out a ruler and says they can settle this right now. Carly is a bit overheated and wondering if it's rude to suggest a threesome. Can someone PLEASE give Carly a brush? How big is spoon island? Jax says he's going to develop Spoon Island and leaves, but Niks says he's going to enjoy bringhing him down.

Kate's Beige House: Maxie is defending her choices to Kate. Kate snips that Clarice is the junior editor, but Maxie didn't give her a voice. Well, then it sounds to me like Clarice is a DEPLORABLE editor, if Maxie has the power to talk the printers into doing things her way and not Clarice's. Kate angrily snips "who would carry a clutch like this to a formal" showing Maxie a page from the magazine. Maxie respectfully says "everyone I know." Kate softens a bit, but then Olivia shows up asking Kate to give Maxie a break. Maxie leaves, and Kate can tell that Olivia is there to tell her about Claud and Sonny's marriage that will happen during sweeps in 1428.

Corinthaus: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, oh, sorry, nodded off.

Desolate Cabin: Cuteness in the fort continues. Aw, Jakeson is a little toe head. (tow head?) Liz asks the boys to promise to stay in the fort no matter what happens and that she'll stay with them as long as she can. Sam hears a noise and leaves. There is a loud clunking and Cameron cutely squeals 'what iz dat mommeeee?" Liz whispers she doesn't know, like it's a fun game, but her eyes bulge.

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Desolate Cabin: Liz coos at the kids to play for awhile and rushes out to check on Sam. Sam or Liz hollers out "it's part of the surpriiiiiise!" Liz and Sam leave. Jakeson tries to walk away, but Cameron breaks the needle off the cutometer and holds Jakeson back and says "nonononono!" Aw, Cam is a little crime fighter in training. Liz and Sam try to put their brains together and find a clue.

Cafe Interrogate: Diane shows up to deliver one of her castigations that I so adore. Jason says she knows he won't be connected to the warehouse killings. Diane sucks on her teeth and knows no such things. She sees Alexis (!) through the window and finds it promising. I guess she's hoping to trade shoes for murder charges?

Corinthaus: Claud says they should stop acting like strangers that met in a bar. She says she's never going to be a Madonna, but she doesn't want to be treated like a whoor. Sonny shrugs and agrees. I have no idea what they are talking about....other than an arranged marriage. He hands her a ice rink ring, and says he wanted to do it right. She says it's tradition to put it on her finger. I feel bad for how much fun I made of Marlena being possessed by the devil. That was Hepburn and Tracy compared to this rot. I mean, Nico and Cecily was Dostoevsky compared to this!

Commercials

Corinthaus: Sonny and Claud keep mumbling to each other. Why are they whispering? Sonny says they should leave the past behind, and this will be hard for both of them. claud stands and says he's survived worse than her. Sonny says the ring is a sign of respect and puts it on her finger.

Jake's: Olivia is getting loaded and Carly shows up and orders a beer. Olivia says when Coleman gets the chance, they are going to need more shots. Carly takes her shot and aks "what?" This scene just made up for the past 12. Olivia says "it's official: Sonny and Claud are engaged. Carly picks up a shot glass. Hey ABC, gals, you know the drill...DRINK!

Cafe Interogate: Diane and her delicious line delivery (I imagine if it were cake it would be cheesecake with a fancy topping of your magical choice. Like Turkish Delight. the topping becomes for the eater whatever they fancy as the most delicious thing ever.) She says it's an uphill battle and leaves.

PCPD Bullpen: Diane and Alexis meet to once again determine who the show should really be about. Alexis tells Diane to drop the case while she has a chance. Diane tightens her gun belt and says there is no chance. They squint at each other, totally turned on about facing each other in court.

Desolate Cabin: Sam gives Liz a gun and does her best to give her Gun School 101 through 11001. "Just remember it's him or you." Sam has a shot gun, or some reason. Sam says they have to hope The Danger doesn't know if they are armed or how many of them there are. Liz goes to check on the boys. I think she gives them crackers? Liz meets Sam in the living room and asks "I know we've had our differences, but will you please promise me tonight, no matter what happens, you will protect my boys." I wonder why they didn't bother to settle this before leaving for the desolate cabin....without guards or cops?

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Desolate Cabin: Liz says the boys are asleep, but they'll wake up if they hear shooting. Um, so shoot quietly? Sam says letting Liz's kid be kidnapped is the worst thing she's ever done, but she promises she'll lay down her life to protect them. Liz believes her and asks "but it's not going to come to that right." She starts to lose it and says Jason warned her about this and she didn't listen. Sam is freakishly cool as a cucumber and says that all that matters is keeping it together for now. She turns to Liz and says "you're strong enough to get through this" and gives her an encouraging eyebrow flourish. This is totally the hottest lesbian porn I've ever seen.

Crimson: kate complains that coffee is crappy. (Have you tried delicious McCafe?) Maxie offers to make another pot. What, no espresso maker? I'm so sure. Kate says that she knows Olivia didn't make a choice b/c the theme is diffused and the rest is off topic. the hell? since when is Olivia a fashionista? She's a total hottie, but total hotties can look as hot in Tarjet as Wang. Maxie asks Kate not to take it out on her that Sonny is the worst. Jax shows up, and Maxie leaves. Kate says she doesn't want to talk about it: She wants to celebrate not making the worst decision of her life. jax agrees.

jakes: Carly is not surprised. She says she has kids with Sonny, so she'll always be connected. She wishes she could say she didn't care, but she didn't. She doesn' tknow what to say, but then she eloquently and rightly says that she'll always be there when he needs her like a big fat sucker. Olivia says maybe she loses these other relationships as an excuse to go back to Sonny. Carly disagrees and says Jacstlikeadouche is the perfect man for her, and she's worried about his big, dorky, wrath.

Corinthaus: Y'all, i just can't. I love Sarah Joy Brown, but this is such a boring storyline for her. These two actors seem to be going out of their way to be boring just to finally break the Guza spell that they are destined to be teamed up. I sort of loved Carly and Sonny back during their hate-sex days. I hated what they did to everyone else, but I did see their chemistry. But that was a decade ago. Can we all move on now?

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Kate's Beige House: Kate pours champagne and drinks to "mistakes and the promise to do better next time" and then without clinking, she downs her glass. heh. I guess I've been there, so I won't mock. He refills her glass, and they drink to freedom. So, just one glass of champagne is all it takes to send these two into each other's arms. and they are entitled and more power to them but don't act all high and mighty when you have been damming up this much sexual tension. Yet, they are the better people because THEY KEPT IT DAMMED UP.

Jake's: Olivia drunkely asks if all things were equal, who would Carly pick: Sonny or Jax. She clarifies "not the one you think you should pick. the one you want." Carly easily answers Jax. she says for a long time she would have said Sonny, but he's not in her heart like Jax is. She's good at trashing what's good in her life. Olivia slurs "don't give up. These things have a way of working out." carly says it won't happen. Carly says "cards on the table" Olivia slams her beer and slaps her hands flat on the bar "right here" heh. I love Drunken Scenes. Carly asks how mcuh Sonny meant to her back in the day. Olivia insta-answers "a lot. A lot more than I let anybody know." carly uses her freakish Laura Wright eyes to at once communicate jealousy and empathy and asks thusly "how much does he matter to you now?" Olivia stares bleary eyed.

Corinthaus: Imagine the chemsistry between Olivia and Carlya nd then dillute it with the Pacific Ocean, and you are left with Claud and Sonny, sitting around drinking boringly. Claud toasts to a successful arrangement, and Sonny clinks. Claud asks if they will live in the fortress. He says he told the maid she can have any room she wants except his. She says she's kind of a slob, so that was smart. He mumbles that's not what concerns him. She downs her drink, and they sit in awkward silence. Sonny wants to get married tonight.

Cafe Interrogate: Alexis tells Jason that the Commish has all the evidence he needs to tie Jason to the warehouse slayings. She says she's finally going to do her job. Diane says Alexis can't hold him without evidence. Alexis hilariously says Jason is wearing the same clothes as the warehouse assailant. Diane mocks that this will sound silly to a judge. I don't see why she doesn't say this is what he wears everywhere. Alexis mocks that Jason is "the good mobster" and so they should let him off the hook. Alexis assures Diane she will find the evidence. So PCPD is Gitmo now, and you can just hold people with no charges or evidence?

Desolate Cabin: Liz says she's freaked out. Sam says that Liz knows what she's doing in the ER and eerily says she's scared, but she feels like she can see better and hear better. Liz remains full of panic and fear. Sam remains some weird combination of a Russ Meyers film and a bad Ray Liotta movie. It rules. Suddenly a blast comes through the window.

The end.

GH Recap 11/20: Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner...well..except Liz

Haunted Star: Looloo and her silly curls tells Luke she's surprised Luke didn't go to France with Laura. Luke says he wouldn't leave his wife. He sadly says that he and Laura had their life together, and it was wonderful, but life changes and people change. He hopes Laura is awake for good, and he hopes she moves on and finds a wonderful life for herself. Loo asks if Luke was at least tempted to go with Laura. Tracy, meanwhile, eaveslurks from behind a box tree.

GH: Olivia wraps herself in a sweater and leaves AMA to stop all hell from breaking lose.

Corinthaus: Sonny asks which son Kate means. She says the one who got cheated out of knowing his father, who got left behind. Oh, shut the eff up, Kate. Sonny's beard starts babbling about that they already figured out who is at fault for Chucky. Kate interrupts him and says he doesn't understand.

Docks: Spinelli holds a gun at Stolichnaya, but Stoly only laughs and says Spinelli is a little mouse and backed himself into a corner.

Russian Shadow Warehouse: gunfight ensues. Sam tries to hide behind various wooden crates, presumably hoping some of them contain something metal.

Credits
More...

Russian Shadow Warehouse: Gunfighting continues. Jason drops one of his guns, and it rolls near Sam. She picks it up and shoots someone over Jason's shoulder. Or maybe she's just a crappy aim. It's hard to tell. Jason exclaims "what are you doing?" then he grabs her wrist and drags her out the door. But then 25 more Russians are waiting b/c they obviously would have heard the gunfight, so they kill them both. Or not really. There are never more bad guys than Jason can handle, of course.

Docks: Johnny appears out of nowhere and saves Spinelli. He says it's a fair fight now. Stoli is sad.

Corinthaus: for some bizarre reason, Kate doesn't just flat out say "no, dickhead, you and Olivia have a son, his name is Dante." Instead she listens to Sonny's beard lament that he and Carly did everything they could to protect their kids, or some such lie that these people tell themselves regularly. Sonny says he'd love to see his kids, but he also thinks they are better off without him. Kate idiotically jumps in and says that the pain in his eyes is b/c he's not with his kids, and he should be with his kids. Yes, Kate, Sonny has pain about his kids. Bad parents who endanger their children's lives usually do. It's the wonderful way that kids can be protected from bad parents. The parents don't like feeling bad, so they release their kids to go and have nice, safe lives. Sonny says he sees his kids as much as their mothers will allow. Again, Kate can't finish a thought and only says she's not talking about Carly or Alexis.

Olivia busts in at this point. Sonny asks if she's serious. She asks "do I look serious?" and yes, she indeed looks very serious. Sonny wonders why she left the hospital to come all the way over here. Sonny is really bad at math, y'all. Well, he's bad at just about everything, but logic and math are even moreso not his thing.

Commercials.

Haunted Star: I am torn. On the one hand, Luke is entertaining in this scene. On the other hand: Looloo. Loo says she loves Johnny. Luke says he knows, and Johnny is his partner, and as long as he doesn't hurt Looloo, he's cool with that. "If he hurts you, he dies." Looloo giggles that she knows this is true. har dee har har, the heart warming moments of death threats. They really are the ties that bind. Looloo thankfully leaves. Tracy pretends she didn't hear any of that and briskly enters laughing. She asks if it's safe to say they will be getting back to normal.

Corinthaus: Kate and Olivia snipe at each other. Olivia has no right to her personal business. Kate snots that rights are something, but I have to tune her out b/c of how dreadful she has become. Sonny is all "hello, right here!" Olivia says that Kate is trying to have it her way, like always. She says that no matter what Kate says, Olivia will still have her rights, and that Sonny will still be a gangster. Kate says she has a lot to think about. Olivia says she needs to talk to Sonny. Kate bitterly laughs at this for no good reason and says she'll be at home. Kate leaves, and Sonny asks if he should have a clue what that was about. Olivia says it was Kate making a fool of herself over him.

GH: Looloo walks past the lounge and notices Maxie hiding behind the sofa. A nurse passes, and Maxie yells at looloo for not answering her message and says she needs a ride. Looloo deadpans "to Shadybrook?" heh. Maxie says that Spinelli cut her out of his life after she was jumped, and she's afraid he's going to do something dangerous. They run off to get themselves killed or maimed.

Docks: Johnny gets Stoli and Belvedere to leave their guns and go around a corner. oh, good, the Russians went around a corner, and presumably cease to exist. Johnny and Spinelli toss the Russian guns into the water and hang out like there aren't two dangerous Russians just around the corner. Is that the corner that goes directly to Gitmo, or something? Why are they not concerned that there are two bad guys still right there? Spinelli admits he couldn't fire the gun. He says it like it's a bad thing.

Commercials

Wyndermere: Alfred dodderingly reminds us all that Nik is facing two really stupid storylines at the same time: 1. He's being deported. 2. Something about Indians own the island, but they sold it to Jax, and somehow Nik can't just pull out his own lease of the island and point out that since he's not on month to month and no proper notice was given by him or the Indians, then even if the Indians sell the island, his lease will still convey with the sale. But all of that pales in comparison to the fact that Gidget comes running in and flops herself on the sofa and laments she has to leave town.

Haunted Star: Luke says he's happy to pick up where they left off and continue their marriage. Tracy bitterly chuckles "as if nothing happened?" Luke says nothing really did. She asks if that's true. Ric hotly strolls in. He says that Luke's money laundering past makes Wheels unsure about letting the HS re-open. Luke angrily says that Wheels doesn't get a vote. and seriously, unless there is a board of directors of this casino, why does Wheels get to have more than a vocal opinion?

Jason's Penthouse: Maxie and Looloo rush around jason's unlocked apartment and are killed by all the Russians that would have obviously planted bombs all over this completely unguarded mobster's den. Oh, wait, nope. No bad guys here at all, I guess. They can't find Spinelli. Spinelli and Johnny show up. Maxie embraces and thens smacks Spinelli for making her scared.

Liz's Mansion: Liz and Lucky meet. he says Sam called him and asked him to meet her here, and he heard gunfire. Liz is all indignant "what, so she's coming here, with the kids upstairs." Yes, Liz, just like a few days ago, you were going to bring Jason here...with the kids upstairs. Jason and Sam show up. Liz is all "what? a mob war?" As if she thought that Kate just got shot b/c it was shrapnel from a carnival? As if she thought Jason's burned down and Kelly's burned down because they got stuck in a California wildfire that accidentally got on a bus? As if she thought Sonny was going around threatening a mob war and that nothing would come of that? Is Liz really this stupid? Lucky gets off his phone. I really would like to meet the PCPD dispatch person some day. That dude is like Oz in his all knowingness. Lucky angrily asks Jason if he knows anything about a Russian Warehouse that has shadows coming from every conceivable angle at all times, as if there are 3 sons revolving around it.

Corinthaus: Olivia and Sonny continue to foreplayfight. She says he needs to let Kate go for Kate's own good. or something. You can see also: every other conversation these two have had for the past month.

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GH: ( I forgot to mention that Stolichnaya has entered GH and is rummaging around and clearly up to no good.)

Haunted Star: Tracy asks why Ric is still here. Ric hotly says he's just giving Luke a chance to re-think his position. Tracy says that any threats on Luke's life will be met with a lawsuit and will have the IRS crawling all over the Z's like lice. Luke says his wife makes a good point. Ric hotly says "The Russians are coming." Tracy repeats in a 'the hell?' tone "The Russians are coming?" heh. Luke says the Russians are here. Ric hotly leaves. Luke says he's glad they are still a formidable team. Tracy is way to bitter for sweet talk, though, and she says it's only b/c he doesn't have Laura around.

Jason's Penthouse: Maxie is shocked that Spinelli would think he could kill someone. Spinelli sadly says "yes, The Jackal is a wimp, everyone agrees." Looloo angrily tells him that he's the only one who thinks that. She totally understands that of course he couldn't kill anyone b/c only horrible people kill people. "yes, we are all friends with Jason, but it's IN SPITE of what he does, not because of it" maxie concurs. Johnny tries to not be all "ahem, I kill people" about it.

GH: In full view of an obviously nefarious dude, Piph yells at Kate b/c Maxie and Olivia both checked out of the hospital AMA. "Are all the women around you just fools asking for trouble?" I dunno, Piph, are all the nurses around you completely unethical and discuss patient's business loudly in front of strangers? Wheels rolls up and makes creepy comments at Kate. She says she's a pig and she'd rather die. (than be with him, I think) He tells her to be careful what she wishes for. She gets in the elevator and is clearly not at ease.

Corinthaus: Sonny's beard mumbles that he fell in love with her cousin, and his son was shot. he hopes she never has to know the pain to know something she did ruined her son's life. Olivia apologizes for not being more genteel about calling him a horrible murdering mobster. Sonny talks about when they were children and in love, but she dumped him b/c he was becoming a mobster. He didn't believe she was really dumping him. then he oddly stutters for 10 minutes, and she says "in front Louie's Pizzeria" Um, we get it. You lived in Bensonhurst. Of course you broke up in front of a pizzeria. He says he could never smell pizza the same. that may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. no wonder he's such a miserable cuss. I've had my heart broken, but I'd never let it ruin PIZZA for me. Loser. She asks if he went after Kate immediately just to get back at her.

and aren't we talking about 15 year olds? I suppose there are marked exceptions, but don't most people never think about the person they loved at 15 again...say once they are 17 or older?

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Corinthaus: SOnny admits he was sort of sticking it to Olivia, but he also really fell for Kate. She was unlike anyone he ever met. And again, they are basically talking about people the age of those high school musical kids. I'm sure it really, really, super a lot matters that everyone goes to prom with the right high school musical kid, but does anyone really hope that any of them remain happily ever after for the next 40 years? breaking into song at the drop of a hat when they get their first job? doing choreographed dances when they apply for AARP?

Liz's Mansion: Jason and Lucky bicker. Lucky doesn't want them to go to a safe house that can be traced to Sonny or Jason. Well, the definition of a SAFE HOUSE would be that it CAN'T be traced to Jason or Sonny. Otherwise? It's just a House. Luckily, Lucky totally knows "about a cabin in the woods that can't be traced to anyone." Hi, writers, thanks for reading the message boards! For some reason Jason takes Lucky at his word. Liz stands there fighting back tears. Aw, poor, Liz, if only she'd had some way of knowing that her boyfriend was a dangerous mobster before today!

Wyndermere: I don't know. Something about Aunt Raylene has heart problems, and something about Aunt Raylene does things with horse studs, and she's been asked to ride a horse in an effing parade of some idiotic sort. She tells us the horse's name, and I think it's supposed to be a joke, but she's so annoyingly fake cry-whining that I can't help but to fantasize that the horse's name is "Killsnadine" she promises to come back and marry him and make him a citizen as soon as this is over. For some reason Nik finds all this endearing instead of hateable. He tells her to go and have fun.

Haunted Star: Luke insists his feelings are real. Tracy asks if Laura had asked him to go to paris, would she have gone. Luke says "yes, but my time with her his over" He wants to be with Tracy now. Tracy angrily asks why she's not happy about being a second choice. "I'm Done! This marriage is over!"

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Haunted Star: Luke says they can work this out. Tracy thinks a second and then says 'nope, not this time.' She says if he'd broken her heart, it could heal. "but you stomped on my pride without a second thought, and I'll never give you a chance to do that again." Luke says he loves her. She chuckles and says he does, until Laura blows back into town. Luke angrily says she doesn't want to do this and doens't want to lose them. "I am the best time you ever sad." Tracy fairly says he's right, and that's what makes this so sad. he says "I won't give up on you, Wife." But she asks him to never call her that again and leaves.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason rushes in and says Liz and the boys are going out of town, so he has nothing to slow him in running the Russians into the ground.

Liz's Mansion: Sam asks Liz not to be mad at Jason for their having to leave. Liz says she's not. Lucky is clearly having an affair with the dispatch person, because he has to leave again. he tells them not to do anything dumb like leave the cabin. Sam says if this is advice for her, she promises not to leave. No matter how itchy that adrenaline itch gets, I guess. But of course there is a Russian hanging out in the bushes. Though, where would his car be? Wouldn't Lucky or Sam or Liz, or heck, even CAMERON notice a car pulls out of their driveway at the same time they do? And really? They don't have a driver that can avoid being followed to drive them? and really? they aren't bringing any guards? WORST MOBSTERS EVER.

corinthaus: Sonny shows up to agree ot marry Claud. Ric hotly looks bummed by this. Sonny makes a Nick Tortelli face, but then he makes this weird grimace/smile, and then goes back to staring. That was nightmarish. But not for any of the reasons Maurice thinks it was.

The End.

GH Recap 11/19: I am Mr. Roark, and I am your host

Haunted Star: I forgot Johnny and Luke were working together. Or did I make that up? They are in a scene together.

Russian Shadow Warehouse: Sam trots into the warehouse b/c why would there be any guards at all? She asks Sascha for a job.

Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli comes home to put the gun back into the Box of Secret Pain. Jason says he shouldn't be carrying that. Spinelli says no one, not even Jason, will stop him from exacting The Revenge.

Credits


Scorpio-Drake Home: Robin thinks Patrick should go do rounds. He doesn't want to leave her alone while she's recovering from the c-section. Seriously, why wouldn't she be totally cool with being pampered for one stupid day? She wants to have a chance to be a mommy and thinks it's about time.

Haunted Star: Luke says he's disappointed in Johnny for some reason. I guess Luke wanted to challenge him to a game of roulette. Johnny thinks he's being played and wants to play cards. He opens a fresh deck and fans them out face down. But Brandon Baresh has apparently never played cards in his life because he holds the fan of cards in a way that would easily let Luke see them. Johnny wins the card picking and remains a partner at the HS.

Olivia's Room: Sonny has once again answered a phone that isn't his. He chats with Dante until Olivia rips the phone away. Olivia ends the call and tells Sonny that he's out of line. Olivia says she'll go back to Bensonhurst if he's going to end run her son. or something like that. Um, the thing is, Olivia is not wealthy, right? So doesn't she need to go back to work? Doesn't she have rent to pay? Even in Bensonhurst, I doubt rent is so affordable that you can take a month off work.

Russian Shadow Warehouse: Sascha will give Sam a job.




Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli tells Jason that Maxie was beat up and hit her head when she fell. Spinelli frantically says he thought she was dead. Jason says that he just said she's fine. Spinelli says that Maxie is quite small with delicate bones, and the Russians brutalized her anyway. Jason says that Maxie is under his protection as much as anyone else, and the people who hurt her will pay. Jason emphatically tells Spinelli that he knows he's wanting to take on The Revenge, but The Revenge often leads to The Darkening and The Dreadening or whatever, and you can never come back from The Dreadening of killing someone. Jason gets a phone call, so Spinelli is able to break the trance Jason has him in and runs off as Jason talks to Bernie. Or Bennie. I can never remember.

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GH Lounge: Edward and Tracy meet. Edward wants Monica to be chief of staff b/c she's been getting on his nerves at the house. Edward mocks her marriage to Luke, but she says she's Luke's real wife, since he chose to stay with her.

Nurse's Station: Piph tells Liz about some patients, and that she thinks Liz's boyfriend is involved. Liz snits that if Piph is talking about Jason, she doesn't know anything about his business. Piph says Liz may not be a total idiot afterall. I paraphrase. Patrick shows up to work and tells the women that Robin is a good mom.

Emma's Home: Robin tries to put together some complicated thingy. Why wouldn't two physicians just pay someone to build their baby stuff? Emma starts crying. Robin picks up doll and tries to figure out a way to either heat a bottle or change her. She doesn't know which Emma needs, so instead of simply CHECKING the kid's diaper and making a bottle anyway, she just pathetically sits there and pats the doll. Unsurprisingly, Emma still needs whatever is making her cry to be addressed, so she keeps crying. Well, Robin, you can try waiting until she starves to death, or you can make a dang bottle for her.

Haunted Star: Johnny and Luke try to have a cool-off basically. Neither one is winning, by the way.

Olivia's Room: Oy, Sonny and Olivia keep yammering to each other. Who has the time to sit around and bicker all day? Oh, and speaking of have WAY too much free time? kate shows up yet again to eaveslurk. Sonny randomly says he wants to talk to Dante again. Kate looks on in surprise.

Corinthaus: Spinelli lets himself in the terrace door. Why don't these people, who are actively being attacked by The Danger, never lock their doors? Somehow Spinelli knows that the bar is totally awesome and has a secret panel where Sonny keeps his box of Secret Pain. Only really, Sonny just keeps a gun in it b/c Sonny has no secret pain. he tells anyone and everyone all about his stupid pain. Spinelli conceals the gun. Max comes in to ask what Spinelli is doing. Spinelli says this is wise and takes off. Of course, he has to stop on the terrace and pull out the gun and think a moment before taking off resolutely. Do the writers think we forgot already that he just got that gun?

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Olivia's Room: Kate is all wimpy and pathetic and says Sonny was nice to take time off work to visit Olivia and that Olivia will thank him accordingly. Olivia says this is insulting to both her and Sonny. Sonny again says he'll call Dante to look after Olivia if she doesn't get better, or something. Olivia smiles and calls him an asss. Sonny leaves and Kate whines that Sonny should know about Dante, and she thinks telling Sonny would be a perfect, final gesture. Olivia stares dumbfounded and smell the farty about it, and Mr. Mad giggles.

Maxie's room: Spinelli brought a lavender plant to Maxie that can be transplanted later. Maxie says she has a brown thumb. Spinelli says that Mac was right and it is spinelli's fault she was injured, so he has to step out of her life. Mr. Mad asks who this weirdo is.

Docks: Sam and Lucky meet. She tells him that she got a job with The Russians. Lucky says this is a bad idea. Sam says that no one else is in a position to get evidence. It's a good point. Maybe the government or someone could create a group of people who do things like spy on bad guys and gather evidence. It could be centralized. Maybe set up headquarters in Langley, Virginia.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason gets Cody ready to drain the blood of every Russian in town. He wants no prisoners.

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Nurse's Station: Liz and Patrick discuss patients. Patrick mentions that Emma sleeps only 3 hours at a time. Liz chuckles and says that sounds great to her. Patrick asks a few more questions about how often he should feed her. Piph shows up to be a total, bitchmouthed snot and berates him for making conversation about his newborn with a woman who is both a mother and a nurse. Honestly, they are getting work done, so why can't he ask a few questions without this insulting castigation? For some reason, Patrick apologizes. Robin calls and the baby is crying, so he asks them to sign him out. Liz and Piph say they have it under control, and he should be with his family. patrick cutely likes the sound of "my family" and leaves. Piph chuckles. Because I'm so effing sure that she just magically knew how to be a perfect parent 24 hours into the job.

Haunted Star: Johnny and Luke are still hanging out, drinking and being cool. Looloo and some really silly looking curly hair saunter in. She's all snotty to Luke and says that Luke didn't keep her and Johnny apart. Luke says "oh, rats" and thanks Johnny for stopping by. Johnny kisses her forehead and says her name never came up. ha! Loo says she's an idiot, but Luke hugs her fondly anyways because he's used to have idiots for children.

Maxie's Room: Maxie's eyes are all puffy and tearful as she insists that Stolichnaya attacked her b/c she saw them at Kelly's. She cutely says "I know you think you are a mobster, but you're not. You're more like...tech support!" Spinelli says that being friends with Jason makes him complicit. When he saw her lying in the same spot where Georgie died, and he couldn't bear life without her. Before he can finish, she interrupts and says she feels the same way, and she can't manage without his friendship. She'll turn into a horrible person again. SPinelli says she'll always be in his heart. She says she needs his presence too. He says she will have it, just not now. Then he ominously gets up to "attend" to something. She is easily cued in that this is The Danger and demands to know where he's going, but he leaves and says no more.

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Emma's Closet: Patrick comes home and Robin whines that she's destroying Emma's life by being bad at everything. Patrick picks up Emma and gets her to stop crying. Robin asks how he did that. Patrick says it was just bad timing, and Emma was probably cried out. Robin, as Robin does, takes this one piece of anecdotal evidence and bases her life's philosophy on it: Patrick is a great dad, and she sucks. Maybe Emma just doesn't like bad attitudes, Robin?

Haunted Star: Luke and Looloo talk about Logan. he blames Logan and hopes Loo isn't beating herself up over it. I can't even conceive of my father not being around for my murder trial. Loo thinks Laura could sense Looloo's pain and knew she was needed, so she came back. Loo asks what it means to him to have Laura back.

Corinthaus: Max tells sonny that Spinelli came by to broker a truce. Sonny says it's clear that Spinelli lives in the twilght zone and Jason doesn't really want to help him. Max says it's shame. There is a knock at the door. Max lets in Kate. Sonny mumbles that he thought she'd come, but he didn't think it would be this soon. Wow, that is so romantic. That was about as romantic as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Kate says she's not there to get back together, rather for the opposite.

Russian Shadow Warehouse: Sam reports for duty. Sascha has Vlad frisk Sam. She says she'd appreciate a warning next time. Sascha coldly says she doesn't trust Sam yet. Why that means she can't give a polite heads up about a frisking is beyond me. Vlad and the vodkas open a crate. Sam stares openly at it with her mouth slightly open. Because she's about as subtle as Freddy Mercury, that one.

Jason's Penthouse: I think we literally see the exact scene with Jason and Cody, with Jason once again saying that they'll leave no one alive. I assume he doesn't mean the emo-sounding band that plays while The Danger montage unfolds in slow motion.

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Corinthaus: kHate says it's sad that stuff is sad, and she didn't know he was still in the mob. She kept a secret. he needs to know the truth....about his son. oh brudder. You are a piece of work kHate Howard.

Docks: Belvedere and Grey Goose walk along the docks. Spinelli jumps out from behind a row of crates and says "Freeze Evil dowers. This is for maximista" But then he stands there with the gun drawn for 45 hours.

Russian Shadow Warehouse: Jason puts a sleeper hold on a guard. Then he signals for Cody. For some reason it only seems to be two of them shooting at the Russians. Sam has to hide behind crates. Because of how wooden crates totally stop bullets. Much shooting ensues. Sadly, there is no emo song. :(

the end