OLTL Recap 1/23: TGIF

Coming in about a 1/4 way into the show:

Todd's House: Apparently Todd and Tea slept together. She's buttoning up and purring about life. She leaves, and he sweetly thanks her for sleeping with him. She says you're welcome, like she lent him a snow blower.

Somewhere Dorian-Related: Dorian is still in robes and trying to convince her family that she's on the road to enlightenment. Langston reasonably points out that this is great if it's true, but if it's a lie, be ready for the Karma Police. Dorian knows she's already buried up to her armpits in bad karma, so she just smiles wryly.

Dungeon Apartment: Where is this horrible place with the wire windows. It's those women I feel no connection to who have vague accents and then every once in awhile says Col-oh-mbeeah. Mother Whoever, who I think is called Vanessa, warns Daughter Whoever, who I think is called Pilar or something like that, that A Martinez may come after them if they don't follow Vanessa's rules.

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Dungeon Apartment: Vanessa asks Daughter to promise something like this won't happen again. She asks for a letter. She wants to show it to Christian, in case he wants to give it to the police. Daughter hands her the letter. Christian comes in, but Vanessa totally hides the letter immdediately. vanessa is a bad guy. She starts making out with Christian, and he makes out back! what! But poor Flash! Not that I care about Flash, but dumb.

Llanview High: Aw, little Matthew is in high school, eh. I remember when he and Starr were so little they'd have sleep overs. He and Cole talk about a girl named Becca that he likes. Cole whispers that she's right behind him. this Becca approaches, clearly as scared of boys still as Matthew is of girls. Cole cutely tries to pull of nonchalance while Matthew just gawks at her like little boys trying to become men do.

Dorian-Related Place: Dorian and that weird chef she's obsessed with chat for a bit. he's apparently in on her scheme b/c she drops all the breezy vocalizations and yells at him that he just has to hang tough with the plan until they have enough money he can go to a fancy cooking school. Then Dorian bangs a gong (cuz she wants to get it on) and starts chanting. David shows up to say she's making a mockery.

Aggravating Cafe: Hick sounding waitress talks to a psychic. No idea what all this is. Psychic says there is great danger, but it's not for her.

Todd's Apartment: Todd finds a pretty blond, she says she still has her key. He demands it. who is she? Is that supposed to be Blair's mom? I only saw a glimpse.

Surveillance van: Antonio and his girlfriend, whose name I can't remember but who I like when she's not with him are listening to this and take interest.

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LLanview PD: Aw, Matthew went to a club last night, and Bo showed up and escorted him out? Mean! and Reasonable! bo says he thought they had a good kid. Nora says he became someone else overnight. This would be funny if they had recast the character. But instead it's just further proof that old people like bo and nora really should never have mated b/c Matthew is a teenager, adn they are acting all dumbfounded that he wants to develop his own personality and is starting to show signs of that be rebelling. Are Nora and Bo from 1642 or something? Haven't we all known about the teenage thing for quite awhile now?

Llanview High: Matthew tries to be cool and Annoying Poseur Cool kid shows up.

Llanview High II: wow, do a million teens watch this show, to have TWO high school sets? Starr and Cole bicker about his drug use.

Cafe: Tea and Lowwwla talk about whether or not Tea is sure that Vanessa and Lowwwla will never have to go back to ColOHmbia. Tea gently asks if there is new info she should know about. Tea is clearly part Cylon, Lowla...be careful!

Dungeon Apartment: Vanessa says that A Martinez wrote another threatening letter to Lola. It's mostly burned, but we, the audience know Vaness is lying. He asks her not to keep secrets, and she says she trusts him with her life. But I think she meant with her LIfE.

Monastery Country Club: Dorian asks David how to achieve nivana. He tells her to get rid of everything material. Okay, I think what is actually going on is that Dorian opened her home to homeless people, but had her personal chef cater the soup line. Which is so ridiculously awesome, I want to get a tattoo of her on my ankle. It's awesome b/c I think Dorian truely believes that this sort of thing would pass for showing she gets Buddhism. It's like when an actor accepts an Oscar and says something about Tibbet, and you know it's really just that they dig Buddism b/c they don't think people really have to suffer if they follow the path to enlightenment like they do....with their million dollars of cash, and paid for beach house, and free designer clothes and volunteer personal trainers....why suffer? just be enlightened. It's like that except you want to still have Dorian over for dinner, and you want to kick Richard Gere in the shin. Or maybe that last part is just me. Anyhoo, David tries to get Dorian to give up all her earthly possessions, and she has a bit of trouble with this sort of math. Always has.

Todd's House: Leigh offers to work with Todd. Todd is onto her and says he doesn't want anything more to do with her, she just makes him look guilty. She says they are both guilty. Todd is TOTALLY onto her now and asks what she's talking about. Is he calling her Janet? or Jenna? Sorry, don't know. she says he wanted her to help him kidnap that baby. She might as well be reading from Nora's legal briefs, though, b/c Todd just smiles warmly and asks why she's so chummy. it's so rhetorical b/c he's really just trying to figure out where the wire is.

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Llanview PD: Oh, Matthew had a joint too. Okay, that is pretty naughty! Nora says it isn't like it was for them. It isn't? How the hell old ARE Bo and Nora? My PARENTS had joints on occassion when they were young. It's not like he was carrying a meth lab, for crying out loud.

Llanview HS: More drama with the drugs. I missed the point. I think stupid little poseur kid is wanting everyone to be a pot head, like he clearly isn't? and maybe Becca and Matthew are trying to figure out where they fit in the drug scene? But then Starr and cole fight about drugs, but then they leave and leave his locker unlocked, and then Matthew shows up and grabs Cole's pills. This is getting a tad "ABC After School Special" for me.

Cafe: Lowwwla tells Tea that she's been thinking about how happy she used to be. Oh, Vanessa is not Lola's mother...sorry about writing that before. Lola now doesn't think A killed her mother. Tea manages to react to this as if she's at once saying "OMG, my plan is working!" and also like she's the most concerned mother figure a teen could ever want.

Dungeon Apartment: FF

Hick Cafe: Psychic and Hick Waitress keep talking. Hickita says David says that money corrupts and asks for $50. heh. Hick Waitress doesn't know where to find whatever money she needs. No idea. No care.

Dorian's: David says Dorian is not prepared for true peace. Dorian profoundly states she's prepared for everything. David tells her to tell the world and the Great One. Dorian loudly pronounces that she relinques everything she owns. David asks to whom. dorian drops the breathy vocalizations and says " to her family of course" David also drops his act a bit and says that doesn't work b/c she can still live here. He tells her to relinquish to someone she doesn't know like the homeless people. She gasps "NO!" but the she covers and says she said "MOE!" and she bows before Chef Moe and says she abdicates her possessions to him. It would rule if Moe and David are in on this together.

Todd's: Todd puts up with Ol Whats Her Name just long enough to enjoy watching the panic of being caught begin to creep across her face, and then he does that thing where he acts like he's an idiot just long enough that his victim tries to bolt, but then like a skilled predator, he strikes and grabs her by the arm and reveals the wire. Ah, Todd, you raping, sociopathic weirdo. Why do I love you so?

the end