GH Recap 1/27: Snow Day

My tv is all snowy, so I can only recap the sounds.

Patrick whines about The Danger

Winnie sepia tones about how they think Looloo died. shut UP Sepia Tone Winnie. We know no one who is on a lot dies. Gawd.

Looloo calls Maxie to say she stupidly basically quit and needs Maxie to go to work to answer the phones. She's all in a tizzy. Because she's an idiot. Johnny shows up and Loo finally admits that she knows Johnny lied about having a job. She asks why.

Credits

Love music and loud smooching noises. lol, it's Sam and Lucky in her pool.

Raynor is mad at Jason. They fight. I guess they are in Raynor's "Office" They bicker about spinelli. raynor wants to avert a disaster and won't share classified info. It's Jack Bauer deadly stuff, though. (that's what TIIC get for firing Amanda. She was FBI all along!) blah blah, Raynor needs the Plow Pox Truck. Jason calls Spinelli. Oh, we are at Jason's. Sorry, honestly can't see chit today.

Robin fights about Maxie. Patrick is there. He showed up and made Robin feel bad. But also, multiple orgasms clearly make Robin "feel bad", so why is this guy bothering? Patrick leaves and Maxie points out that Robin bites everyone's heads off. Robin whines that Patrick thinks she has PPD, but she's fine. Maxie, I can only imagine, stares at her like she has two heads, but like she loves both her heads.

Casa de 3's too much: Loo and Johnny fight about how he's a murderer for aliving until he chose not to be. She thnks he thinks he's better than everyone. John whines that Wheels is a creepo and he only JUST NOW decided to do something about it. Loo idiotically tells him to stop getting int he way her having a cool boyfriend and then she has the AUDACITY to compare cutie pie Luke to Wheels and says she got a job. She pretends it's not a job she got b/c of Carly, and John leaves b/c he hates Looloo like the rest of us do. (for 5 minutes anyways)

Claud and Sonny bicker about Kate. They talk about Scotland and England and how they have to be married to ward off the Huns, or whatever the hell this stupid marriage is about.

Commercials

Am I the only one who wants a spinoff with Flo from the Progresive commercials with the Sonic guys?

Kate and Olivia meet to gossip about Sonny. Olivia informs McFarty that she is a badass and she's figured out how to make more money for the hotel. Stupidly, Kate only wants to talk about boys. Can Olivia cook, or something? Kate says she saw a dvd from Jerry Probst, and she wants Olivia to warn Sonny.

Claud and sonny fight about TV. Since when does Sonny watch tv? I've always imagined him a Greta von Sustern kind of guy b/c he figures he can bang her good.

Lucky and Sam are out of the bed...er...pool. Lucky whines STILL about Sam and her Luke-ishness. oh, SNAP, Luke called Sam "Liz" OUCH! OUCH WITH CHEESE, YO. Sam, the brain trust of the show, thinks this may be about what Liz still means to Lucky. Then Sam goes all Dark Woman on Sam and says she thought They were about what he could bring to her life, but now she doesn't. Lucky, the assshat who ju7st called her by another woman's name, asks "are you breaking up with me?" shut the eff UP, Lucky. especially when calling a woman by another woman's name.

Jason and Spinelli fight about how Spinelli wants to save Jason and vice versa. Jason storms out. Spinelli calls someone and says they have to meet, but the music indicates that he's an idiot and is ignoring Jason way worse than Sam or Liz ever did.

Commercials

oh, btw, Lost is awesome. Sorry I ever said otherwise.

Sam whinily says they shiould end as friends instead of staying for the wrong reasons. He whines something else. She idiotics that relationships shouldn't be work. He even more idiotics "not if no one changes" omg. these two are the biggest losers EVER. Each more idiotic than the other. Lucky waxes "philosophic" about something, but he's dummer than my coffee cup (though clearly so much hotter) and he says it doesn't have to be the end. even though he just said his ideal relationship involves the other person never changing. These two can't die in an elevator fast enough for me.

Kate and Olivia fight about Sonny. omg. I"m sorry, Lucky and Sam, I totally forgot how stupid Kate and Sonny are. You are the Heathcliff and Catherine of this show compared to THOSE idiots! and I'm not honestly sure if Heathcliff and Catherine are the right match up, but I'm saying ANY two delightful characters from ANY two stories are better than Kate and Sonny. Olivia, is as always, the voice of delight and tells Kate to get a life, but she's not heard. But she is, even though I can't see her, totally hot, I"m sure.

Claud and Sonny bicker about stuff. I remember how much I used to love both of these actors and how I was honestly kind of surprised when theyhooked up and how it made no sense, but how it was very sexy and fun. But I also used to think that bass players were the answer to my prayers. I've SINCE realized that a good, decent man who wants to spend his days making a family for us is what is really hot. He indeed has dimples, but so do I, so I don't think this is the reason. Sonny remains the same he was back then....boring, self obsessed and incapable of providing for a family. Why is he still an issue?

Piph, Matt and Someone gossip about snow storms. Matt idiotically says it's not snowing yet. oh, hey, look at that, I called him Matt! I didn't even mean to. Oh, well, SHAWN DOUGLAS, I guess you tricked me.

Patrick wants to talk to someone about his annoying wife.

commercials

oh, gawd, even in snow, I can see it's Beret Head eavesdropping.

Patrick and Liz gossip about Robin. Liz is obsessed that it's not PPD and Patrick says Robin cleans the house a lot. Are the writers INSANE? I can give any human being on the planet who is literate 4 articles about PPD, and they can come up with something better than this. Patrick asks Liz to ask if he has something to be worried about. Well, she JUST SAID that it's normal to hate your baby, so why ask her?

Emma's Palace: Robin listens to Emma cry and cry. She gets a call and asks if the person is on their way over. I understand there is PPD. but forgive me if I openly mock the idiotic way this is playing out. Kimberly McCullough did a good job last week, but this is all so stupid. this is ONE DAY and Robin suddenly has a babysitter to call? It's a REAL malady. It has nothing to do with selfishness or bad mothering. But a woman like Robin would know how to make it so that this babysitter showed up EVERY DAY. because she had to deal with stuff. A woman of means, like Robin, would be able to have NO ONE know about it. This is like when a woman gets raped and then accepts immediately that she should have worn a longer skirt or locked the door. This is like saying a mother INVITES the impossible hormonal imbalances and the sudden change of life that happens overnight.

Spinelli and Winnie meet and then Jason and Sam meet, and it's all so stupid, that I feel like my brain will fall out if I keep recapping.

commercials

John and Loo fight nd fight. John starts talking about HIS FAMILY does things like not care about Whole Food's bound carrot tops, but she doesn't get it, so she just whines "why can't we just play house forever?" and he says it's because he doesn't know what "house" means and he leaves, and she cries. Shut up, Looloo's tears.

Liz and Patrick gossip about Robin. She tells him to support Robin, and come what may, they will survive. Robin calls Piph and asks for Pat. Robin says that babysitter is having car trouble, so he says he'll come home. Robin yells at him that she doesn't need a babysitter, so quit asking like she called him to say she is worried that the babysitter can't come. Robin, if you are going for subtle, maybe try hitting people over the head with AN ACME ANVIL.

Spin and Jason jaberwock about The Danger. It's now taken the form of Plow Pox. Spinelli has hilariouly taken the position heretofore only held by Cornmom, Liz, Carly or Sam...he will only tell Jason stuff if he gets what he wants.

Claud and Sonny blather like idiots about how it wasn't wrong beyond reason that Sonny had no guards present when his son visited his mobstery job. Also, he says she can come to the Benefit To Celebrate Horrible Parenting that Carly is throwing.

loud doors open. scary music souns. can't see the picture. someone lights a candle? Kate is doing all of this. music gets crazy dramatic. Is Kate into the occult? that woudl be awesome! but I don't think that's it. sorry, I seriously have a stupid snowy image and nothing else.

Commercials

GH does a promo in the midst of its own show. Raynor is concerned there's no way to contain. also, Rie Sinclair sings about breathing, just breathing.

Spinelli and Jason fight about making sacrifices and working together. Jason gives in. OH, Jason, NEVER feed a stray cat, you NEVER get rid of them! Jason gets a call about the Plow Pox.

GH; The Brothers Drake want to treat a patient, but Matt wants Patrick to go home to his horrible wife.

Horrible Wifeland: she angrily is angereda bout her angerness.

then a montage about Kate knowing about Claud and Jerry Probst and Sonny being an idiot, but Kate not answering why she's there. I've hated some exes before, but I'd ALWAYS tell them if a Jerry Probst was haunting their new wives through dvd. we are living in a SOCIETY afterall!

the end

I apologize if today made no sense. It is a very hateable show, and I let that show more than I should have!