GH Recap 2/10: And an Emma in a pear tree...

I've realized I somehow missed the bits of the show in which Robin stuck her baby in a tree.

I assume we are all bright enough to know real mothers suffer from PPD, and it's crippling and sad and something we all work together as loving, compassionate people to help the mother through. Just an FYI: don't stick your baby in a tree in a blizzard. Actually, let me correct myself. Don't stick your baby in a tree. Period. Lovely 4th of July morning: not appropriate for tree cribbing a baby! (see also: my blogs "Don't Stick Your Baby in a Taco Bell sign" and "Don't Stick Your Baby in a Microwave with Your Popcorn")

Also, I try to avoid spoilers, but does anyone know who is behind the cloning of Sam? It's been fun trying to guess which one of her is the original, and which one is the robot and which one is the clone. My guess this is all Cassadine related b/c of her relationship to Alexis. I guess in all the hub bub it's easy to miss, so I won't mock it too much for being unrealistic that no one has noticed that she's always at least 3 places at once.

GH: Jason and a Sam rush to Patrick and say they can't wait for the storm to move to evacuate b/c the whole place will be in flames.

Sonny's Inferno Area: Alas, Sonny wasn't remotely injured by the 85 exploding cans of oxygen. Sonny yells for Trevor and says he better be dead. Or maybe he said "better not be dead" Sonny is crazy.

GH hospital: Carly and Claud seem to be lost. Olivia wheels Kate by and Kate is still yammering about finding the stupid DVD. But Kate is an idiot and doesn't see Claud, so now Claud knows that Kate knows that Jerry knows that....I can't even remember what is so scandalous about the stupid dvd's.

Credits

Nurse's Station: Robin chastises Jax for actually putting a priority on his loved ones instead of avoiding babies like she likes to do. She even says "there are people and babies who need to be evacuated" Well, there are also babies dying of pneumonia b/c they were stuck in a tree like an effing frisbee.

GH Hall: Jason and Sam and Patrick continue to be the only firemen in the world. Sam suggests that they tell someone to land helicopters on the roof. But then she immediately turns to Jason and says "what if they can't land helicopters on the roof" Did someone forget to hire a 4th person for this scene to say that line, and so they had Sam schizophrenically contradict herself? Oh, this must be a robot Sam-clone,a nd the explosion is causing it to malfunction. Nevermind, it all makes sense again! Sonny shows up and says they have to get to the roof. It would be funny if he said "but what if we can't get to the roof?" but he doesn't. He does mention the toxin. Jason thinks they are contained, but Sonny says Trevor had the missing sphere. Jason stammeringly asks where Trevor is right now, and Sonny says he had him cornered, but then the 85 oxygen tanks blew up in an explosion that is smaller than wet mesquite on a fire popping a bit. Sam realizes they are going to need more clones of her.

GH Other Hall: Kate taunts Claud. Why bother? Why not just loudly state that Claud was involved in Michael's shooting? Why this cat and mouse nonsense? Soooooooo annoying.

Commercials

Tracy is suffering from toxins. Looloo says if anything happens to Tracy, Luke would never forgive her. Really? It sort of seems like it should be opposite. oh, unless Looloo means if she bored Tracy to death with her whining about her tedious love life. That would make sense. Tracy really seems to be in a great deal of respiratory distress. Tracy tells Loo to leave and save herself, but Looloo won't. Is Tracy trapped under a giant invisible beam? Why can't Looloo just roll her to safety?

Nik wheels Monica down the hall with Edward close at his heels. They all stop moving for some reason so they can sit around in chat. Because a nice heart to heart whilst in a burning building makes a lot of sense! Edward says Nik is a good guy. Monica then has to drone on about the NUMB magical love of adultery and murder and pirates or whatever. Nik says he still feels like Emily is with him. Didn't he just see Chewbecca? Why is he not warning them, "oh, and a connoh version of your family member is roaming the hospital"

Jason and one of the Sams talk about saving the day or whatever.

Spinelli and Weenie sit around with El Laptopo IN A BURNING EFFING BUILDING and chat about whatever. What is wrong with these people? What part of giant inferno is causing them to have no sense of urgency whatsoever? Patrick shows up to say the stairwells are blocked (of course they are), so they need helicopters on the roof.

Piph and Robin yell through a doorway as if there are dozens of patients there, and they give the invisible extras instructions on how to evacuate. Oh, I guess there are ambulances waiting outside? Good Mother doesn't want to go outside b/c she has a wee baby and doesn't want the baby to be cold. Robin listens to this and wonders what on earth this woman is talking about.

Why won't anyone call the fire department?

Olivia FINALLY yells at Kate to just shut the eff up about the stupid dvd. Go Olivia! Carly busts out laughing and says that was worth this entire hellacious night. Kate is impossibly snippy about this and says Carly deserves bad things to happen to her. Sonny walks in and has to face all the women he has slept with and will be sleeping with for the forseeable future. Olivia hilariously says "well this is awkward" ha! Sonny agrees. Claud's nostrils start flaring like she's a dang bunny rabbit, and we see the bleepity bleeping dvd just lying around on the floor. Even though it was just in a supply closet 2 minutes ago. I guess it has developed Samian cloning and ubiquity skills? That's terrifying!

Commercials

Spinny and Weenie yammer to Patrick about reaching Raynor. Sam #14 rushes by to randomly ask what's up, and Weenie tells her Patrick is calling Mac. lmfao that I think Sam literally just ran by to ask that and ran off. It turns out she was just not in the shot, but that would have ruled. "hey guys, what's up? woot woot woot , gotta keep moving to make sure to run into everyone by the end of the hour!" Patrick says Mac has some sort of evac plan, but Sam14 says it won't work.

Awkward gathering: Everyone bickers about the pecking order for Sonny's pecker. It's all so beneath me (and I watch Gossip Girl!) that I can't pay attention. Sonny leaves to go get trapped somewhere, and Olivia flounces off, pushing Kate. Carly asks Claud what that was all about. Claud brushes Carly off so she can be alone with the stupid dvd.

Why is everyone hanging around in 50 different rooms and not leaving? Why aren't they being coralled together? Why do I keep expecting anything to make sense? "the building is on fire and full of toxins. Quick! Everyone scatter!" Edward leaves to be with Tracy. But again, why the eff can't they ALL go be with Tracy? I know it's so we get to enjoy this barfable moment of Monica and Nik remembering NUMB. Nadine walks up and overhears Nik professing his undying l ove for Emily and how once in a lifetime it is. (yes, ask Zander. He loved Emily until the day he died.)

Jason rushes around a burning room and calls out to see if anyone is there. He finds Chewbecca passed out. He turns her over and is very surprised to see someone who looks just like Nurse Jessie Brewer! oh, I mean, just like Emily!

Commercials

Jason looks confused and wonders if he's accidentally gone through the stairway to 2006. He decides he'll figure it out later, and scoops up Chewbecca to get her out of harm's way.

Edward and Tracy lounge around while the building burns down because they swallowed the Idiot Pills too, I guess. She tells him she's fine and is going to put him in the chair. She looks about ready to pass out, though, and he giggles that he loves her. aw, so cute!

Liz and Looloo lounge around. Liz says if something happens to her, Lucky is going to need Loo'shelp. Loo adamantly says she'll always be helpful, but Liz is going to get better. She tells her not to give up. Liz's head sinks in exhuastion. Looloo stares at her with grave concern. Nadine shows up to ask how things are. Um, you mean other than dying of toxins in a burning building? Well, yes, Nadine other than that, totally peachy. the hell? Loo says Liz is fighting. and then she gets up to go somewhere else Which makes no sense. Oh, they are at least in the same room with Edward and Tracy, so that is almost logical.

Lucky remembered to be helpful finally. He's working with something called a fi er fy tur. No idea what that is or how to spell it. Robin asks him to tell Patrick that she's fine if she sees him.

Sam14 decides that she's going to find a fire extinguisher to clear the stairwell. She tells Spinelli to stay here and monitor communications. Because suddenly the laptop with the 58 year battery isn't mobile?

Claud wheels her way towards the dvd. Carly shows up and asks what she's doing. Claud says she's waiting here so that Sonny will save her. I know it's a lie to get rid of Carly, but it's still gross to listen to. Carly is suspicious, but she also oddly has a fear of burning to death so she leaves.

Sonny and Olivia and Kate are at some random other place on this floor that I guess is somehow safer than the random other part where Claudia is? Kate says she has to tell Sonny something, and it can't wait.

Commercials

Sonny says now is not a good time. Kate swears it will only take a minute, but Sonny says he has to get Carly. Um, what the hell? Why couldn't Carly have just come with him 5 minutes ago? Is the hallway only wide enough for 3 egos at a time, or something? lol. I can't believe how it just keeps getting stupider. Sonny leaves, and Olivia, who has been covering her face in embarassment for her lame cousin says that Kate is out of control.

Patrick gets all whispery and sad to Shawn douglas b/c he's terrified for his wife and baby. Well, luckily, Patrick, your baby is safe and far away from Robin. I doubt the nice people at Mercy will shove her in an oven or something. Even though they are oddly disclosing her medical condition to non-parents.

Elsewhere, Robin has to pick up a baby. She manages to do it and not stick it in a duct or the freezer, so maybe she's finally healing.

Sonny and Carly meet up whilst wandering around aimlessly.

Jason sets Chewbecally down on a gurney. Oh, gawd, We're so back to the endless heavy breathing. She thanks him for saving her, but he's just staring at her. She says typically you say "you're welcome" He apologizes and says his sister died and looked just like her. Sam03 runs into the room, and I burst out laughing because I know that Sam14 is putting out a stairwell fire with an extiguisher. Sam03 does a double take at Chewbecca, and Chewbecca uncomfortably realizes she really must look like this dead girl. Sam03 stares at Chewbecca while asking Jason to go help Sam14 put out the fire in the stairwell. He's too freaked out by Chewbecca to disagree, so he leaves. Chewbecca asks who that was and Sam03 says it's Superjase.

I missed a scene.

Spinelli and Weenie yammer about how he's so brave and never afraid. He says he sometimes leaps and makes situations worse. He says fear is wisdom in disguise. She feels better about this. Carly has aimlessly wandered over to Spinelli and Weenie. They inform her about the Roof Rescue idea, but the winds are too high, so it's unsafe. ( Oh, whoops, I forgot to tell y'all about the idiotic idea Jax had to try to land a helicopter in a BLIZZARD on the roof. )El Laptopo gently breaks the news to Carly that Jax is piloting the helicopter. the hell? Why would this be broadcast over the internet? Meaning, the way things are going, I'm surprised they didn't hire a team of soccer players to write the information on a soccer ball and then kick the ball all over the hospital to inform everyone. Much more in keeping with the theme of the show.

Claud has gotten out of her chair and is crawling towards the dvd...b/c somehow she believes this spends less energy than simply wheeling herself over to it. Sonny has aimlessly wandered back to this part of the floor and says he knew he'd catch her.

commercials

Robin holds the baby and tells her it's okay. Why are they just now evacuating the nursery? That's so mean. Poor babies! Robin once again starts discussing things with a baby. She forces herself not to stick the baby in a trash can.

Edward and Monica sit around and talk about Emily b/c it's not like anything of interest has happened to them since she died. Chewbecca and Sam03 walk around the corner at this moment, and Monica gasps "Emily!" and then Chewbecca gives her a half bitchface, so now I am very certain I can just loathe her and not feel bad about it.

Lucky rushes to Liz, and they embrace.

Oliva and Kate sit around and bicker about Sonny. Kate says when Sonny finds out the truth about Claud. Olivia hisses "what truth?" But then Sonny wheels Claud to this same area.

Roof: Carly and Spinelli watch Jax flail about in the helicopter. Carly helpfully screams out "Jax, no!" Spinelli says he thinks Jax is going to crash. oh, to be so lucky if he'd crash and blow up the rest of the hospital, so then the survivors could aimlessly wander about, moving one at a time from room to room.