GH Recap 2/9: Happy Birthday, Mr. Mad

Cute hubby's birthday is today, but he has to work all day. Totally unfair.

I only saw the end of Friday, but I seem to recall that Spinelli had for some reason, joined Weenie in the OR to contain the Spheres of Stupidity, but then somehow they can't even do that right, so they blew everything up.

Oh, looks like we are seeing the end of Friday in its entirety.

Claud's room: Trevor grumps that Sonny is going to kill Wheels for them.

Chapel: Wheels begs for his life, and Jason begs Sonny not to kill Wheels.

OR of Spherian Stupidity: Trevor has the missing sphere! Doh!

Chapel: Sonny says Wheels tried to take everything. Wheels whimpers, and Sonny puts a bullet in the wall over Wheel's head, bellowing for him to shut up.

GH Exterior: Robin, Maxie and Johnny have finally made it to GH with the Emmacicle, but Jax informs them it's shut down. Because no one owns phones and thought to call anyone to tell them this.

Chapel: Sonny head butts Wheels to knock him out and bellowbarks about wanting to kill Wheels, but he's not, just for Jason, because Jason is coming out of his skin, or whatever. Jason thanks him.

Claud's Room: Trevor brandishes the stupid stolen sphere and blathers about going to Costa Rica. Carly walks in and sees the stupid missing sphere.

GH Exterior: Jax recaps that some very confusing biotoxins have invaded only certain lungs in the hospital.

OR Room of Spheres: blah blah, it all explodes. Because why wouldn't it?

Credits

OR Room: An annoying buzzer sounds. It reminds me of the one that was trying to tell Ripley she had three minutes to get to minimum safe distance, while she insanely badassedly strapped on 85 guns and went to save Newt. Gawd, I wish I was watching that movie instead. Anyhoo, Weenie and Spinelli are fine.

Nurse's station: Piph and Lucky yammer about saving the day.

Hospital Room: See, this is why this is stupid b/c everyone is just running willy nilly, and now there is no way to contain all the people in the hospital. Sam and Looloo run into each other, and Loo is alarmed that Sam lost Spinelli. Because he's a poodle, I guess.

Claud's Room: They all react to the explosion. Somehow Trevor knows there is a raging fire.

Chapel: Sonny asks Jason to run a Borg Mapping Program, and Jason does and discerns the explosion came from an OR. then Sonny takes off to get trapped under a beam or in a stairwell or something stupid so that Jason has to save him and Leyla or someone else kind of cool dies again.

PCPD: Raynor gets a call about the explosion, and I'm sure he says something like "great. Three episodes from now, it's going to occur to me to call the fire department. Until then, I'm just going to rely on Jason and Sam to find all the fire extiguishers." He also breaks the news to Robin that there was an explosion. Why isn't she on her way to Mercy Hospital to get her poor, dying baby some medical care? OH, that's right, because she's dreadful.

Commercials

Would I be more disappointed as a parent if my daughter had a litter of babies? Or went on the Bachelor to find a boyfriend? It's really hard for me to say.

Aggravating Bar that is Not Jake's: Aggravating because Ethan and Luke are STILL hanging out and yammering endlessly about whatever it is they are talking about. If it's not about a murder-suicide pact, I'm not interested.

GH Room: Jason carries Wheels to a bed and straps him in. Kinky! Wheels oddly asks Jason what he's doing. Why would he really find this development surprising? Also, Wheels smells the fire and is worried he'll be left to die in the fire. Jason says he has to trust him. Wheels laughs that he's officially under the protection of Jason Morgan. Then he laughs like an adorable crazy old coot and says he's the safest man in the building.

GH Smoky Room: Weenie and Spinelli try to out do each other in the "what in the blazes are you TALKING about" department. She is sort of crying, but I still always expect her to say "Superstar!" and then fall down and flash her underwear, so I have no capacity for taking her seriously.

More blown up GH rooms: Nik and Patrick work together with fire extinguishers and such. We also see Kate's purse and Jerry Probst's DVD on the floor.

PCPD Camper: Maxie reminds everyone about the tiny, frozen, dying baby. Robin says she needs to hang out here to help with the evacuation, so will Maxie and Johnny please take Emmacicle to Mercy Hospital.

Kate's Room: Olivia yells at Kate and asks if she's been hospitalized so many times that she doesn't understand it's actually serious? heh. Kate is obsessed with the stupid dvd, and asks again for her cousin to risk her life to get it. Where is Chucky and his pillow when you need him?

Claud's Room: Claud and Carly share a snarl that Trevor is being a bad guy and taking advantage of a situation b/c they only do that when they are trying to get laid or married. Trevor leaves with the toxin, and Carly says he's crazy.

Commercials

Johnny's car: Johnny and Maxie drive in the snow to Mercy hospital. Maxie is holding Emma in her lap b/c if there's ever a time one should not have a car seat is IN A BLIZZARD. They really couldn't have taken the time to get the one from Robin's car? I saw a devastating Oprah about this, and say what you want about that aggravating woman, I can promise that she taught me to never drive with a baby without a car seat! Anyhoo, Maxie says she's not maternal, even though she's holding the baby and getting her to sleep even though she's sick. Johnny is still whining that he's got a secret. A secret he's had for a year and only started bothering him 12 minutes ago, but whatever.

GH Smoky Room: Jason, Loo, Spinelli and Weenie all meet up. Jason runs a Plot Point Negotiator Program and easily discerns the cause of the explosion. I love that they don't even bother to have him be a bit sketchy about any details. He simply rattles off EXACTLY what happened as if it's so OBVIOUS. but if it were so obvious, why didn't Superjase bother to unplug the explosionator thingy when he was there before? Not that I expect Superjase to do everything b/c it's way more awesome for the room to have blown up, anyway.

GH Doorways: Piph fights with three sloppy extras who are clamboring to leave.

GH Lobby: Sonny and Carly meet up and manage not to have panic sex on the sofa b/c they still have loved ones to think about. He does seem to imply "meet ya at the bathtub when this is done" though.

Wheel's Room: Trevor shows up to taunt Wheels.

Oxygen Storage: So none of these numbnuts have bothered to consider that fire + oxygen storage = RIP. But Camara Guy is totally onto it, and he leaves us a shot of the labeled oxygen storage room. Like he's one of those chuckle heads on Amazing Race or a show like that, and clues the audience in that the team just left their clue and passports in a Russian cab.... but does nothing to alert the contestants. Camara Guy hates all these people as much as I do!

Commercials

Not Jake's: I think it's the way Ethan sets his teeth that makes me want to wallop him with a pool cue. floopity floo, Ethan is connected to Holly. I swear I don't care how, but I did notice he pulled his stupid wallet on the stupid bike chain out of his stupid pocket, and there was a photo of Permomatic Luke with Holly.

Liz's Room: Oh, I left out that Chewbecca rushes in to help get Liz out of the hospital. Liz blanches noticeably that she's now going to be relegated to nosy nurse status b/c her dead friend is back.

Mercy Hospital: Maxie asks someone about the dying baby, and the nurse unrealistically says they have to wait, but really, with a tiny baby, wouldn't it be more likely that you'd at least take some precautions to assess what's wrong? Seeing as how 1. so cute! and 2. so close to death on a good day, really. Johnny busts out "do you know who my father is?" and apparently the nurse spends all day on PerezGotti.com because she totally knows who he is and agrees to not let the baby die.

GH: Trevor and Sonny and Sphery run into each other. Sonny holds a gun on Trevor, but Trevor says if he drops Sphery, then a lot of people Sonny loves will die. Trevor leaves glibly. Sonny oddly says "you first", which makes no sense, really, but I appreciate that big guns to tend to inspire that sort of non sequitur growling from action heroes, so I'll let it slide.

Commercials

Not Jake's: Luke is now readying to consume his 35th ounce of booze today. If Hannibal Lector ate his liver with a nice chianti, it would be the pickled liver that got him drunk.

Smoky GH Area: Patrick sends Jason and Sam to go save the day in some part of the hospital.

Liz's Room: Nik shows up to evacuate Liz. Liz is sleeping, but when she wakes, she tells Nik with a start that he has to go find Her.

Fire Filled Room: Chewbecca coughs and chokes and stares at the fire. But it's like watching an item you really want in Ebay. It's only at $5.00, with 10 minutes left, but you KNOW some jerkweed has a maximum bid way over your budget, so it's not going to end happily.

Mercy Hospital: something with Maxie and Johnny.

Nurse's station: Robin gets a hold of Patrick by phone. Robin wants to chat about the explosion, but Patrick obviously wants to hear about his daughter. Robin says Maxie took her to Mercy, and Patrick finds his as odd as he very reasonably should. Robin then lies that she has to get off the phone, leaving Patrick more frenzied and alarmed than ever.

Claud's Room: Spinelli and Weenie bizarrely run up pushing one wheel chair saying they are helping with the evac. They ask Carly, who is still hanging out with Claud for no apparent reason, to wheel Claud to safety. Then they run off to waste more time by having the two of them push a single wheel chair to someone else.

Wheel's Room: Sonny saunters in and refuses to unshackle Wheels. "Life's a b.tch and then you die." Oh, man, Sonny has so clearly been wanting to use that one for months now. He leaves Wheels to fight against his restraints.

Commercials

Not Jakes: No earthly idea what happens here b/c Ethan is now muttering like he's in a Guy Ritchie movie. They start yelling at each other for some reason. Luke tells Ethan to stay cool. and then they start snapping and dancing. "Easy does it...stay cool boy!"

Liz's Room: Liz is coughing as Nik wheels her away.

Inferno Nurse's Station: Chewbecca wanders around the smoky room b/c she's too stupid to know about staying low to the ground, I guess. Also, she gets knocked down. (ebay auction: 3 minutes left...only $6.60 max bid...looking good!)

GH: evacuation continues

Mercy Hospital: Maxie thanks Johnny for threatening people on her and Emma's behalf. Dr. Mercy shows up to tell them that Emma has pneumonia. lame.

Claud's Room: why is it taking 12 hours to leave this room? Carly finally wheels claud out and manages to slap her around as much as possible.

Just see smoke on the screen: hear coughing. Annoying Sweeps Theme Plays "dun dun dundun dundun dundundun." this is the best scene. Can't see anything! More please!

Kate's room: Olivia shows up to save Kate.

Another Inferno-y room: Trevor tells Sonny to go ahead and shoot him.Sonny says when he shoots Trevor, he'll fall into the fire, and then the plow pox stops working, or whatever. That's not far-fetched, but also no guarantee. It's a moot point, however, because OF COURSE Trevor has decided to stop right by Oxygen Storage, and we see how very, very full of oxygen cannisters this room really is, so then there is an explosion, and I'm not even remotely an expert or even all that knowledgeable, but my guess is the explosion from all that fire + Oxygen would take out several FLOORS of this building. Instead, it's kind of like a fireworks display gone bad, and it leaves Sonny totally not burned to a crisp...but he does have the decency to at least be unconscious (told ya he'd do something stupid like this. Worst Badass Ever)

the end