Emma's Closet: Robin whines about her kid. Patrick assures her. But Emma is crying as Patrick holds Emma, so it seems like her theory is wrong. Robin hates her baby, though, so she leaves in a huff. Poor Baby.
Corinthaus: I guess Olivia wanders around town with a fresh change of clothes? Because it's morning at Corinthaus, and she's in new clothes...and that blouse would clearly need to be ironed. Claud snottily tells Olivia she's better now and should leave. Sonny walks in and Olivia asks if that's what Sonny wants.
Liz's Mansion: Lucky and Liz bring the boys home.
Courthouse: Sam and Jason discuss that they have to give testimony. Jason doesn't want Sam to get in trouble, but she says she made a choice and will answer for the things she did.
Credits
Corinthaus: Claud does the Port Charles Gazette crossword puzzle in pen. Sonnny agrees that Olivia would be better off not here (meaning around Claud's bitchiness). Olivia decides to walk home to Kate's, but she has to talk to Sonny first and almost accidentally tell him about his son 8 times.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Maxie breezes in, delighted that she and Looloo have the apartment now. I don't get why it's partially furnished with stuff from the 80's. I do love that it has the exact same mantle that is in one of my mom's rooms. Maxie says the house has potential, but Looloo the horrible only sees the hard work. Maxie says she gets the bigger bedroom, because it has the bigger closet, and she has better clothes. Even I couldn't argue with that. (and I'd have been the roommate with the crappy clothes)
Q Manse: Tracy and Edward remember that ELQ is a company. They complain that the stock is down. Gee, writers, how topical. They complain about how Tracy's gallavanting after Luke affected the company. Or, you know, maybe it's the planetary recession. Luke runs in to pretend he's drunk because he knows he can behave however he wants, and she won't divorce him. Luke, I've seen people take this tact on Survivor. They assume being a jerk will get them to the finals b/c no one would vote for them, but eventually they overstay their welcome and are snuffed. Con cuidado, is what I'm saying.
Liz's Manse: Liz is in the mood to be nice to Lucky this week and to be thankful for his help. Why is she wearing my Christmas napkins as a shirt? They decide to go on a family outing. Liz gets a call that causes Music of Malady to play. Liz is concerned by the call and says The Danger is not over after all.
Courthouse: You'll be happy to know that Jason's cuts are 10 times more healed than they were the day before. Sam remains in such a philosophical mood lately. She says she feels like Dorothy and has been living the excitement of flying monkeys and opium naps, but now she's back in Kansas and it's all lacking vibrancy. She laughs at her metaphor, saying he hasn't seen the Wizard of Oz and doesn't know what she's talking about. Jason, is Superjase, though, so he turned on his metaphor translator program and solemnly says he does understand.
Commercials
Park Bench: Mac finds Robin. Did she call him, or did he randomly run into her. I love that this park is like Central Park, and you can hear the traffic noises in the distance. My friends and I tried to post to you once when we visited NYC, but we couldn't do it from our phone. I still feel stupid that we never made it to the Whole Foods in Union Square to visit the produce section and give our regards to Michael. Anyways, Robin whines about her baby.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Looloo's hair is so long lately. Maxie adds that she's going to have to listen to Loo and Johnny go at it, so she gets the big room. Looloo takes off her coat and snots "jealous much?" Spinelli visits, and Maxie and Looloo drape themselves over him. Maxie says he's here just in time. Spinelli cutely asks "dare I ask for what?" and it's a visual joke and normally the music starts going "brown chicken brown cow" if this were a different type of movie. But it's just this soap, so the Strings of Silliness plink away. Looloo says they need an unbiased opinion. Maxie interrupts and angrily asks "should someone get the bigger bedroom just b/c they plan on having sex?"
Spencer Home: Liz has changed out of her Christmas napkin shirt. She has to go to court, I guess. She tells Lucky that when she thinks about what she did to her boys, it makes her sick. She needs to face this, so she never has to think about it again. (until she falls for Dante)
Courthouse: The music becomes sort of ephemeral. Jason comments to Sam that she stayed calm the whole time. She says she's just glad she could help. Diane comes out to call them in. For some dumb reason they are being interviewed together. We meet Special Agent Thoma Raynor. He used to be Grant Harrison on Another World. I wish I was watching that show right now. He pops a mint and leans forward to angrily says "The report reads like a wild west movie with Russians." He gives the body count and asks why they both shouldn't be charged with murder. I guess because neither has council present, so any charges wouldn't stick?
Commercials
Q Manse: Luke acts like a big ol' drama queen and says he thinks he can drink himself to liver failure in a matter of weeks. Tracy suggests he go suck some fruit in France. She doesn't exactly say that, but close enough. Luke says this is not about Laura. He stands up an stumbles to her and starts to kiss her, but she blanches and says there is no alcohol on his breath, and he's faking.
Corinthaus: Sonny assures Olivia she's welcome to stay, but he honestly thinks she better. He tells her to be more careful next time. Um, what, the next time she walks home? Look out for Russians? What a stupid show. Olivia is sad for Sonny's life. he grumpily tells her not to be sad b/c he knows what he's doing. But he sinks back on the couch and stares ahead and looks so crazy and angry and bitter, that even I feel a little bad for the guy. Olivia sadly says that the first time he said he knew what he was doing was when he started down the path towards mobsterdom. She says he does know what he's doing, and he knows exactly how much it will cost him.
SA Raynor's office: Sam and Jason tell the story to Raynor. Thankfully, we cut ahead for big chunks of the story. OMG< I forgot Jason and Sam were trapped in a papier mache mine for awhile there. Raynor is doing this annoying thing where he's pretending to have a deep and gravelly voice. Either that or the actor playing him is a two pack a day man. He asks whose idea was it to get Jakeson themselves without calling the cops. Jason and Sam intone at the same time "mine."
Commercials
Raynor's Office: Sam says it was the only viable plan, given the situation. Raynor is dubious that this pint sized woman going into roadhouse full of armed Russian mobsters was a good idea. When he puts it like that, it does sound incredibly ill advised. Now Raynor is over enunciating his words, like he's that Elf King guy from the Matrix. What is that actor's name? I love that guy. He enunciates that the report indicates they acted in defense of a minor child (so what was with the wild west jabs and the murder charge earlier?), and he's prepared to drop it.
Casa de 3's a crowd: Maxie adn Loo argue about the room. Maxie points out that she wants to be a success, and Looloo is just a dilettante. Spinelli wisely points out that they should decide up front things like sharing refrigerator space and cleaning and shopping duties. Truer words were never spoken, but boys are smart and girls are dumb, so they still only care about the big room. Shut up, Guza. They consider drawing cards for the room. Why not flip a coin? I doubt either woman carries a deck of cards around. Johnny shows up and Loo says she can't wait to show him her room, as soon as it's hers.
Q Mansion: I love these actors, but the repetition is beyond annoying. Tracy finally convinces Luke she's done with him, so he angrily says he's going on a bender. Oh, that's so charming! Luke leaves and Tracy runs after him, but Alan stops her and mocks her for still caring. He asks what she'd do if Luke really did drink himself to death. Oh, lord, we aren't going to have an It's a Wonderful Like Tracy-style this year, are we?
Corinthaus: Sonny confides to Max about this big, stupid plan that he thinks the Z's shot Kate and wants to find out from Claud if this is true, so he's going to pretend that she's getting to him.
Courthouse: Jason and Sam are done with the questioning. Sam points out that Sascha got away with all of this unscathed. Jason's eyes grow dark and murdery and he says he'll handle her. Sam exhales sharply and answers "not if I see her first." Aw, those two crazy, cold blooded killin' kids. How can they not see how right they are for each other? It's like in the Gift of the Magi when Della cut off her long hair and braided it into a noose and killed their enemy, while Jim sold his watch in exchange for a Glock and also killed the same enemy? So romantic!
Commercials
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Spinelli and Johnny are going to pick cards. High card gets the big bedroom. Spinelli draws a Jack. Maxie is giddy. Johnny pulls the ace of spades....which, these people are such losers, that they didn't make devil hands and sing "the ace of spaaaaades" like they are in a Motorhead video. Looloo then announces it's good she has the big room b/c Johnny will be living with them. That is such horseshit. Spinelli objects.
Park Bench: honk honk! There goes the bus! Also, I think kids are playing on the swingset devoted to Chucky. Mac tries to encourage Robin not to hate her baby so much. Patrick shows up and happens upon them. Just like in Central Park where you can just easily happen upon someone else on a bench. Because it's not gigantic at all. it's not like you can wear yourself out walking through a 1/3 of it.
Sam's Apartment: Sam wanders around her drab, gray, Kansas apartment and tries to unclick her heels. Lucky shows up and embraces her, saying he's glad she's safe. Did they really not have this conversation in the 24 hours she's been home?
Courthouse: Diane goes over business with Jason and says he and Sam made a good impression. Jason stares at Liz approaching. Diane realizes he's not listening and says he's on fire. He just tells her he can go. She warns against a heart to heart with Liz, but realizes she's talking to herself, so she leaves. Jason asks how jakeson is and if she's here to make a statement. She says Jakeson is fine, and she's here to meet Raynor. He gravely asks her to ask Raynor to explain to her how the Russians died.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Patrick cutely dancese with a bundle of coats. I think there's supposed to be a baby in there. I don't know who invented putting animal ears on baby coats, but may I just say I love that person? Cutest idea ever!
Corinthaus: Oh, so who had "3 days" before Sonny romanced Claud with his cooking? You won $85 in the pool! Claud cutely picks up Sonny's plate of food and exchanges it for hers (in case it's poisoned). Tomato basil soup and sausage and pepper paninis. I gotta say, the soup almost doesn't look gross. The panini looks like a fat patty melt, though. She says breaking bread with someone is a nice gesture. She's touched, but asks what it's going to cost her.
Sam's Apartment: Lucky explains that he's wanted to be with her, but it didn't feel right to leave the boys last night. Fair enough. He says the doctor has given Jakeson a clean bill of health. Sam still feels guilty, but Lucky assures her that he and Liz both feel gratitude. he says he wants to get back to them, and he kisses her, but Sam pulls away.
Courthouse: Liz looks at her lap and asks why he wants her to hear how the Russians died. He softly says "because Jakeson would have died the same way" He says the Russians fired, and he fired back, and Jakeson's chance of dying increased with every bullet he fired. Liz tries to stop him, but he angrily says the room Jakeson was in was 10 feet from the gunfire. He repeats that number "10 feet!" he says if Sam didn't get him out of the building, he'd be dead. Liz stares mournfully at him.
The End
Showing posts with label Jason and Sam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jason and Sam. Show all posts
Friday, December 12, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
GH Recap 12/8: See You At the Next Funeral
Desolate Bar: We repeat the slow motion montage from Friday's show. Feel free to re-read the end of the recap, but I'm not typing it all again. Here are some of the lyrics to the song. Apparently it was on some ABC Family movie about a samurai girl. Also, "Ours to Keep" is part of that same soundtrack. "You stumbled on my hunting ground....found out your secret. run away now. Taste my last kiss, my silent input. take one last look, and beg for mercy."
Also, you really should rent "Spaced" the delightful romantic comedy series that ran on the BBC in 2000 or so, created by Simon Pegg (creator of Shaun of the Dead) and Jessica Stevenson. In series 2, there is a hilarious slow motion gun fight that outshines all the ones we've seen here. I won't give away the joke. If you like laughing really hard at funny things, just put it on the Netflix and thank me later.
This montage on GH ends again with Lucky taking the knife from Liz as she sobs, and Jason being blown to the ground with the Desolate Bar explodes. Jason re-stands up and bellows for Jake, only this time a big hunk of metal collapses and bars the door.
Credits
Metrocourt: Horrible Snooty Woman With a Fake British Accent (HSWWFB) purrs to Kate that she noticed Kate and Carly are wearing the same dress. Well, HSWWFB, there IS only one clothing store in the tri-state area, so it's not really that surprising. Kate deflects and tells HSWWFB that she's sorry HSW didn't have more time to shop for a dress that wasn't ugly. Jax makes a tedious speech. This party is not lame b/c Kate and Carly are wearing the same dress, this party is lame b/c it looks impossibly boring and unattended.
Liz's Studio of Art and Nervous Breakdowns: Liz sits on the floor and sobs that she can't believe how long it took her to realize that dating a mobster is not something you can do and also be a good mother. Lucky annoyingly tells her that it's not that bad, but Liz stands and yells at him that b/c she was so selfish about her needs and now her son is gone. She angrily picks up the slashed art and says Jason is a killer for hire and some day another killer for hire is going to kill Jason and that will be that, a wasted life. She throws the art off to the side. Lucky gently tells her he understands how she feels and thinks she's hitting rock bottom. In her Jason addiction, I guess?
Desolate Bar: Jason opens the back of the Mob Mobile, but Sam rushes up holding a blue afgan that is wrapped around Jason's first born. He takes his son.
Commercials
Crimson: Maxie and Looloo try to figure out what to do tht Carly is wearing the same dress and lookss better in it. I'm not sure I agree. I mean, the dress is pretty ugly, if you ask me, and they wear it equally well. the problem might be Olivia in her hotass dress. Even some of the extras look better than Carly and Kate. Forgive me if I choose to just tell personal stories during certain segments of the show. It entertains me to type furiously and creatively an hour or so a day, but this show? not really giving me much inspiration lately, and I feel beholden to be entertaining!
So regarding the pups (if you don't know what I mean, I'm talking about 6 Shiba Inu pups I've been obsessed with for a few weeks, half of whom went to their new homes this weekend.) I have a story of two pups from the same litter, but it ends sadly. I guess we watch soaps for bittersweet stories, so I will share it. Before I was born, my dad and Uncle got 2 German Shepherds from the same litter. They cuddled and played when they were tiny, just like to Shiba Inu's do now. Dad's was named Duke. I forget my uncle's dog's name, but let's call him Earl. Dad and Uncle didn't live in the same town, so the pups were separated for about a year.
Liz's Studio: Lucky says he bottomed out over Jakeson too. When she got pregnant, he realized he had to go to rehab. Liz says they don't have rehab for bad boyfriend choices. Lucky promises she'll be able to rebuild her life. She turns to him, eyes full of tears and says if Jakeson dies, she doesn't want to keep living. Liz gets a call from work. It's Piph. Liz tells him she can't come into work today. Piph interrupts and says that Patrick was called into work, so he had to take Cameron to the hospital. Liz angrily (at herself) tells Lucky that her other son is sitting in a lounge alone in the middle of the night "because I can't even keep track of my other son."
Corinthaus: Sonny tells Ric to stay away from his wife. I do find it comforting when Sonny is being a hypocriticalass.
GH: Matt and Cameron play in the lounge area, much to the delight of Patrick. Liz and Lucky show up, and Cameron hollers out a gleeful 'daddy!" and jumps into Lucky's arms. Patrick and Liz talk about Jakeson a little bit, and Patrick asks her not to give up.
Desolate Bar: Sam explains how she and Sascha fought, and Sascha disappeared. Sam grabbed Jakeson and jumped out of the window. Jason asks if he's okay. Sam assures him he's fine. Jakeson just screamed a little when they jumped out the window (is she saying as in "through the glass and wood?" because that is a little hard core to do with a baby), but he didn't cry. Sirens can be heard in the distance, and Jason and Sam share weak smiles.
Commercials
Metrocourt: blah blah Crimson party. Kate busts Loo for telling Carly about the hideous dress. Kate delivers a lot of really bad acting, and Olivia, of course, is the only saving grace in the scene. (back to my dog story: Dad and Mom drove with Duke to visit Uncle one Christmas, but they all worried a bit if Duke and Earl would get along because each dog likely fancied himself the alpha dog. A few blocks from Uncle's house, Duke started to growl a low but persistent growl. Duke was a mellow dog, for the most part, so Mom and Dad were a bit nervous that this was a bad sign. When they got to Uncle's, Uncle said that Earl was having some sort of fit. Duke was in the car barking like a rabid dog, and Earl was barking and jumping at the fence.
Mom, Dad and Uncle decided maybe this was a bad idea because German Shepherds can be mighty fierce dogs, and my family loved their dogs so much and wouldn't know how to stop a fight without being injured themselves or injuring one or both of the dogs. Dad decided to let Duke out to pee and then they'd just have to drive home. Dad opened the door and Duke bounded out and LEAPED over the fence and ran straight for Earl, barking and growling all the way. Mom, Dad and Uncle stared in horror.)
Corinthaus: Ric hotly tells Sonny that he's worked very hard to get his position with the Z's and Sonny should work with him. Sonny stutterbarks that he doesn't know yet what Ric is capable of, and he doesn't want to watch Ric and Claud make out. Ric points out that Wheels would love to watch them fight. Sonny whisperbarks that Ric can't get in the middle with the Z's, because if he does, he will shut him out. That makes little sense, but at least it was delivered laughably. Sonny whsipermumbles to Ric to leave and not come back until he hears from him. Ric hotly leaves, and Claud tries to hold his hand as he does. then she mockingly says to Sonny "so much for not interfering in each other's personal lives."
Metrocourt: Carly and Jax fight about Dressgate. (My family stared in horror as Duke and Earl clashed into each other like rams. Duke and Earl growled and clamped their jaws onto each other's throats, and then they broke apart and chased each other the length of the yard and back and then fell into a loving, brotherly tussle. They played and frolicked exactly like two brothers who had been kept apart for a year would. They ran and played for hours and then napped in a pile, waking to share easily from the same food and water bowl, and then they ran and played some more. I hope these sweet Shiba Inu's get to have the same type of happy reunion for years to come.)
Docks: Olivia stumbles down the steps and stops to listen to messages. She sort of leans against the docks walll, so Sascha doesn't see her when she clops down the other steps, talking about kidnapping a baby. Sascha is as bad at being a mobster as everyone else, apparently. Olivia tries to become invisible, but Sascha sees her and asks how much she heard. Olivia tries to say she knows nothing, but she's shaking, so Sascha pulls out a gun.
Mob Mobile: Sam calls Liz to tell her Jakeson is safe. Liz cries and says to Jakeson that she'll see him soon. Jason drives and stares.
Commercials.
Docks: Olivia has her hands up. Oh, and Sascha only has a knife. Olivia swears she heard nothing, and Sascha says there is no problem. Olivia turns to go, and then Sascha sucker stabs her. Man, that is so low. It's mean enough to stab an unarmed person, but to trick stab them? Sascha officially has less class than Sonny. Way to go, Sas. Sascha runs off and Patrick, who was just called into duty, happens upon the deck and offers assistance. We see that Olivia's abdomen is bleeding.
Crimson: Oh, Maxie took the blame for blabbing to Carly about the stupid dress. Kate is preparing to fire them. Jax asks if they can prove they told Carly about the dress. Kate bizarrely says "no", but then she says Maxie admitted it. I am so sick of Kate. It's now not just the character. The actress is both shrill yet emotionally flat in her line delivery. Jax insists that b/c he's an investor, he can prohibit Kate from firing them. For some reason, Kate, Queen of the Losers goes along with this. Looloo asks maxie why she covered for her, and she reiterates what everyone watching the show is thinking "I have no idea."
Corinthaus: Spinelli stops by Sonny's to tell him Jakeson is on his way home. Sonny nods and seems to make a yummy noise.
Mob Mobile: Jakeson sits on Sam's lap, and she coos adorably to him while he plays with her phone. The phone makes that fake "took a picture" sound that phones make for no good reason. She asks if he took a picture, and he coos cutely that he did. She tells Jason that Jakeson has his eyes. Jason smiles as he listens to all of this, in spite of his desire to stare blankly into space.
Commercials
Docks: Olivia writhes in pain on a bench, and patrick insists that she needs the hospital. She says her son already calls her 20 times as it is, and if he finds out she was knifed, he's going to show up. Patrick says either he takes her to the hospital, or he waits for her to pass out and an ambulance takes her. She asks him to take her somewhere else. Liz's studio is currently empty!
Crimson: Maxie and Looloo fight about Dressgate. Maxie insults Loo for being such a Looloo, but Loo just thanks her for being a true friend. Maxie tells her to beat it b/c she can be more awesome when Looloo is not around, and demands that Looloo bring her delicious coffee drinks whenever she wants them and doesn't complain. Looloo happily agrees b/c she has to support Johnny's pouting habit now, and also b/c she is secretly on Team Maxie like the rest of us. As she leaves, Looloo sing songs that some day she's going to prove she's just as good a friend as Maxie just did. Maxie smiles but pretends to think this is nonsense.
Mob Mobile: Jason wonders if they should take Jakeson to the hospital. Sam says she thinks he's fine and asks if he's going to let those creeps scare him. She listens to him and tells Jason "he said no." Jason chuckles and says that's good. Sam continues to coo to Jakeson. She asks if he felt like he was flying when they jumped out the window. Jason asks her not to talk to Jakeson about stuff like that. Sam says it's clear Jakeson has Jason's adventure gene. Sam coos to Jakeson "I know you are smart and fearless, but I bet you are going to use it in better ways." She asks if he's going to be a teacher, but Jakes says no. She suggests maybe he'll be a doctor and save people. Jake cutely is focused on her phone this whole time, like it's the funnest toy ever. Jason's eyes fill with tears at the relief that his son has a future again of endless possibilities. Sam says "either way, I know your dad is going to be so proud of you!"
Corinthaus: Sonny and Claud try to get details from Spinelli. Well, Sonny angermumbles to him and thumps him when he starts babbling, but Claud manages to ask a series of simple yes and no questions to get decipherable answers. Spinelli cutely goes to stand closer to Claud b/c she's nicer. Sonny rudely dimisses Spinelli. Claud says she likes him and thinks it's so great he came over to tell them. She says now Sonny can go after The Danger.
Commercials
Metrocourt: Carly and Jax get flirty. Jax says he stopped maxie and Looloo from being fired. (The sad ending to the story is that Duke died of a seizure the year before I was born. My dad was a coach, and his football team lost the big game, and he cried the whole way home on the bus. The players sitting near him thought he was sad about the loss of their team, and each player took a moment to confidently tell him "don't worry, Coach, we'll get 'em next year." My dad could only smile and nod, not wanting to tell them that he was really crying because his beautiful dog, who had been so big he could stare eye to eye with my dad if he hopped up to put his front paws on my dad's shoulders, had died.
Luckily I was born a year later, and they could stop mourning ol' Duke and lavish that same love on lil' ol' baby me.)
Crimson: Maxie hugs Spinelli for finding Jakeson. Spinelli is humble and says Jason did it, but she insists Jason is not so Superjase-y couldn't do it without Spinelli. Mac angrily bursts in and tells Spinelli to unhand his daughter. He repeats his angry diatribe that Spinelli is just as much in the mob as Sonny and Jason. Maxie interrupts, but Spinelli tells her he can finish. Mac asks when Spinelli is going to quit wasting his talents on death and destruction. he says a desolate roadhouse blew up tonight and several Russians are dead. Maxie chipperly says "but baby Jake is safe!" Mac says Spinelli thinks he saves people, but he didn't. Spinelli seems sad about this news. Mac still considers Spinelli to be bad for Maxie and asks him to leave. Maxie grabs Spinelli's arm and insists he's her best friend, and he's staying.
Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny briefly discuss The Danger. She says regarding their marriage, they could just keep everything at home. Max bursts in with a bleeding Olivia.
Spencer Home: Liz rushes outside to snuggle Jakeson. She tearfully turns to Sam and thanks her. She gives Jake a hug and softly and sadly thanks Jason. Jason, dutifully, stares and nods.
the end
oh, and the teaser for the week is all about Sam. The announcer with a deep and menacing voice tells us that someone takes matters into her own hands. we see shots of Sam doing incredibly stupid things like hiding behind crates in dangerous places. she ends up on her knees and surrounded by The Danger. If she was in a cheerleading costume, I'd have sworn I'd seen this movie before. Is the secret that Sonny and Jason really produce crates for a living? and then force everyone in town to buy 30 of them and stack them around town, so that people can eaveslurk more easily?
Also, you really should rent "Spaced" the delightful romantic comedy series that ran on the BBC in 2000 or so, created by Simon Pegg (creator of Shaun of the Dead) and Jessica Stevenson. In series 2, there is a hilarious slow motion gun fight that outshines all the ones we've seen here. I won't give away the joke. If you like laughing really hard at funny things, just put it on the Netflix and thank me later.
This montage on GH ends again with Lucky taking the knife from Liz as she sobs, and Jason being blown to the ground with the Desolate Bar explodes. Jason re-stands up and bellows for Jake, only this time a big hunk of metal collapses and bars the door.
Credits
Metrocourt: Horrible Snooty Woman With a Fake British Accent (HSWWFB) purrs to Kate that she noticed Kate and Carly are wearing the same dress. Well, HSWWFB, there IS only one clothing store in the tri-state area, so it's not really that surprising. Kate deflects and tells HSWWFB that she's sorry HSW didn't have more time to shop for a dress that wasn't ugly. Jax makes a tedious speech. This party is not lame b/c Kate and Carly are wearing the same dress, this party is lame b/c it looks impossibly boring and unattended.
Liz's Studio of Art and Nervous Breakdowns: Liz sits on the floor and sobs that she can't believe how long it took her to realize that dating a mobster is not something you can do and also be a good mother. Lucky annoyingly tells her that it's not that bad, but Liz stands and yells at him that b/c she was so selfish about her needs and now her son is gone. She angrily picks up the slashed art and says Jason is a killer for hire and some day another killer for hire is going to kill Jason and that will be that, a wasted life. She throws the art off to the side. Lucky gently tells her he understands how she feels and thinks she's hitting rock bottom. In her Jason addiction, I guess?
Desolate Bar: Jason opens the back of the Mob Mobile, but Sam rushes up holding a blue afgan that is wrapped around Jason's first born. He takes his son.
Commercials
Crimson: Maxie and Looloo try to figure out what to do tht Carly is wearing the same dress and lookss better in it. I'm not sure I agree. I mean, the dress is pretty ugly, if you ask me, and they wear it equally well. the problem might be Olivia in her hotass dress. Even some of the extras look better than Carly and Kate. Forgive me if I choose to just tell personal stories during certain segments of the show. It entertains me to type furiously and creatively an hour or so a day, but this show? not really giving me much inspiration lately, and I feel beholden to be entertaining!
So regarding the pups (if you don't know what I mean, I'm talking about 6 Shiba Inu pups I've been obsessed with for a few weeks, half of whom went to their new homes this weekend.) I have a story of two pups from the same litter, but it ends sadly. I guess we watch soaps for bittersweet stories, so I will share it. Before I was born, my dad and Uncle got 2 German Shepherds from the same litter. They cuddled and played when they were tiny, just like to Shiba Inu's do now. Dad's was named Duke. I forget my uncle's dog's name, but let's call him Earl. Dad and Uncle didn't live in the same town, so the pups were separated for about a year.
Liz's Studio: Lucky says he bottomed out over Jakeson too. When she got pregnant, he realized he had to go to rehab. Liz says they don't have rehab for bad boyfriend choices. Lucky promises she'll be able to rebuild her life. She turns to him, eyes full of tears and says if Jakeson dies, she doesn't want to keep living. Liz gets a call from work. It's Piph. Liz tells him she can't come into work today. Piph interrupts and says that Patrick was called into work, so he had to take Cameron to the hospital. Liz angrily (at herself) tells Lucky that her other son is sitting in a lounge alone in the middle of the night "because I can't even keep track of my other son."
Corinthaus: Sonny tells Ric to stay away from his wife. I do find it comforting when Sonny is being a hypocriticalass.
GH: Matt and Cameron play in the lounge area, much to the delight of Patrick. Liz and Lucky show up, and Cameron hollers out a gleeful 'daddy!" and jumps into Lucky's arms. Patrick and Liz talk about Jakeson a little bit, and Patrick asks her not to give up.
Desolate Bar: Sam explains how she and Sascha fought, and Sascha disappeared. Sam grabbed Jakeson and jumped out of the window. Jason asks if he's okay. Sam assures him he's fine. Jakeson just screamed a little when they jumped out the window (is she saying as in "through the glass and wood?" because that is a little hard core to do with a baby), but he didn't cry. Sirens can be heard in the distance, and Jason and Sam share weak smiles.
Commercials
Metrocourt: blah blah Crimson party. Kate busts Loo for telling Carly about the hideous dress. Kate delivers a lot of really bad acting, and Olivia, of course, is the only saving grace in the scene. (back to my dog story: Dad and Mom drove with Duke to visit Uncle one Christmas, but they all worried a bit if Duke and Earl would get along because each dog likely fancied himself the alpha dog. A few blocks from Uncle's house, Duke started to growl a low but persistent growl. Duke was a mellow dog, for the most part, so Mom and Dad were a bit nervous that this was a bad sign. When they got to Uncle's, Uncle said that Earl was having some sort of fit. Duke was in the car barking like a rabid dog, and Earl was barking and jumping at the fence.
Mom, Dad and Uncle decided maybe this was a bad idea because German Shepherds can be mighty fierce dogs, and my family loved their dogs so much and wouldn't know how to stop a fight without being injured themselves or injuring one or both of the dogs. Dad decided to let Duke out to pee and then they'd just have to drive home. Dad opened the door and Duke bounded out and LEAPED over the fence and ran straight for Earl, barking and growling all the way. Mom, Dad and Uncle stared in horror.)
Corinthaus: Ric hotly tells Sonny that he's worked very hard to get his position with the Z's and Sonny should work with him. Sonny stutterbarks that he doesn't know yet what Ric is capable of, and he doesn't want to watch Ric and Claud make out. Ric points out that Wheels would love to watch them fight. Sonny whisperbarks that Ric can't get in the middle with the Z's, because if he does, he will shut him out. That makes little sense, but at least it was delivered laughably. Sonny whsipermumbles to Ric to leave and not come back until he hears from him. Ric hotly leaves, and Claud tries to hold his hand as he does. then she mockingly says to Sonny "so much for not interfering in each other's personal lives."
Metrocourt: Carly and Jax fight about Dressgate. (My family stared in horror as Duke and Earl clashed into each other like rams. Duke and Earl growled and clamped their jaws onto each other's throats, and then they broke apart and chased each other the length of the yard and back and then fell into a loving, brotherly tussle. They played and frolicked exactly like two brothers who had been kept apart for a year would. They ran and played for hours and then napped in a pile, waking to share easily from the same food and water bowl, and then they ran and played some more. I hope these sweet Shiba Inu's get to have the same type of happy reunion for years to come.)
Docks: Olivia stumbles down the steps and stops to listen to messages. She sort of leans against the docks walll, so Sascha doesn't see her when she clops down the other steps, talking about kidnapping a baby. Sascha is as bad at being a mobster as everyone else, apparently. Olivia tries to become invisible, but Sascha sees her and asks how much she heard. Olivia tries to say she knows nothing, but she's shaking, so Sascha pulls out a gun.
Mob Mobile: Sam calls Liz to tell her Jakeson is safe. Liz cries and says to Jakeson that she'll see him soon. Jason drives and stares.
Commercials.
Docks: Olivia has her hands up. Oh, and Sascha only has a knife. Olivia swears she heard nothing, and Sascha says there is no problem. Olivia turns to go, and then Sascha sucker stabs her. Man, that is so low. It's mean enough to stab an unarmed person, but to trick stab them? Sascha officially has less class than Sonny. Way to go, Sas. Sascha runs off and Patrick, who was just called into duty, happens upon the deck and offers assistance. We see that Olivia's abdomen is bleeding.
Crimson: Oh, Maxie took the blame for blabbing to Carly about the stupid dress. Kate is preparing to fire them. Jax asks if they can prove they told Carly about the dress. Kate bizarrely says "no", but then she says Maxie admitted it. I am so sick of Kate. It's now not just the character. The actress is both shrill yet emotionally flat in her line delivery. Jax insists that b/c he's an investor, he can prohibit Kate from firing them. For some reason, Kate, Queen of the Losers goes along with this. Looloo asks maxie why she covered for her, and she reiterates what everyone watching the show is thinking "I have no idea."
Corinthaus: Spinelli stops by Sonny's to tell him Jakeson is on his way home. Sonny nods and seems to make a yummy noise.
Mob Mobile: Jakeson sits on Sam's lap, and she coos adorably to him while he plays with her phone. The phone makes that fake "took a picture" sound that phones make for no good reason. She asks if he took a picture, and he coos cutely that he did. She tells Jason that Jakeson has his eyes. Jason smiles as he listens to all of this, in spite of his desire to stare blankly into space.
Commercials
Docks: Olivia writhes in pain on a bench, and patrick insists that she needs the hospital. She says her son already calls her 20 times as it is, and if he finds out she was knifed, he's going to show up. Patrick says either he takes her to the hospital, or he waits for her to pass out and an ambulance takes her. She asks him to take her somewhere else. Liz's studio is currently empty!
Crimson: Maxie and Looloo fight about Dressgate. Maxie insults Loo for being such a Looloo, but Loo just thanks her for being a true friend. Maxie tells her to beat it b/c she can be more awesome when Looloo is not around, and demands that Looloo bring her delicious coffee drinks whenever she wants them and doesn't complain. Looloo happily agrees b/c she has to support Johnny's pouting habit now, and also b/c she is secretly on Team Maxie like the rest of us. As she leaves, Looloo sing songs that some day she's going to prove she's just as good a friend as Maxie just did. Maxie smiles but pretends to think this is nonsense.
Mob Mobile: Jason wonders if they should take Jakeson to the hospital. Sam says she thinks he's fine and asks if he's going to let those creeps scare him. She listens to him and tells Jason "he said no." Jason chuckles and says that's good. Sam continues to coo to Jakeson. She asks if he felt like he was flying when they jumped out the window. Jason asks her not to talk to Jakeson about stuff like that. Sam says it's clear Jakeson has Jason's adventure gene. Sam coos to Jakeson "I know you are smart and fearless, but I bet you are going to use it in better ways." She asks if he's going to be a teacher, but Jakes says no. She suggests maybe he'll be a doctor and save people. Jake cutely is focused on her phone this whole time, like it's the funnest toy ever. Jason's eyes fill with tears at the relief that his son has a future again of endless possibilities. Sam says "either way, I know your dad is going to be so proud of you!"
Corinthaus: Sonny and Claud try to get details from Spinelli. Well, Sonny angermumbles to him and thumps him when he starts babbling, but Claud manages to ask a series of simple yes and no questions to get decipherable answers. Spinelli cutely goes to stand closer to Claud b/c she's nicer. Sonny rudely dimisses Spinelli. Claud says she likes him and thinks it's so great he came over to tell them. She says now Sonny can go after The Danger.
Commercials
Metrocourt: Carly and Jax get flirty. Jax says he stopped maxie and Looloo from being fired. (The sad ending to the story is that Duke died of a seizure the year before I was born. My dad was a coach, and his football team lost the big game, and he cried the whole way home on the bus. The players sitting near him thought he was sad about the loss of their team, and each player took a moment to confidently tell him "don't worry, Coach, we'll get 'em next year." My dad could only smile and nod, not wanting to tell them that he was really crying because his beautiful dog, who had been so big he could stare eye to eye with my dad if he hopped up to put his front paws on my dad's shoulders, had died.
Luckily I was born a year later, and they could stop mourning ol' Duke and lavish that same love on lil' ol' baby me.)
Crimson: Maxie hugs Spinelli for finding Jakeson. Spinelli is humble and says Jason did it, but she insists Jason is not so Superjase-y couldn't do it without Spinelli. Mac angrily bursts in and tells Spinelli to unhand his daughter. He repeats his angry diatribe that Spinelli is just as much in the mob as Sonny and Jason. Maxie interrupts, but Spinelli tells her he can finish. Mac asks when Spinelli is going to quit wasting his talents on death and destruction. he says a desolate roadhouse blew up tonight and several Russians are dead. Maxie chipperly says "but baby Jake is safe!" Mac says Spinelli thinks he saves people, but he didn't. Spinelli seems sad about this news. Mac still considers Spinelli to be bad for Maxie and asks him to leave. Maxie grabs Spinelli's arm and insists he's her best friend, and he's staying.
Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny briefly discuss The Danger. She says regarding their marriage, they could just keep everything at home. Max bursts in with a bleeding Olivia.
Spencer Home: Liz rushes outside to snuggle Jakeson. She tearfully turns to Sam and thanks her. She gives Jake a hug and softly and sadly thanks Jason. Jason, dutifully, stares and nods.
the end
oh, and the teaser for the week is all about Sam. The announcer with a deep and menacing voice tells us that someone takes matters into her own hands. we see shots of Sam doing incredibly stupid things like hiding behind crates in dangerous places. she ends up on her knees and surrounded by The Danger. If she was in a cheerleading costume, I'd have sworn I'd seen this movie before. Is the secret that Sonny and Jason really produce crates for a living? and then force everyone in town to buy 30 of them and stack them around town, so that people can eaveslurk more easily?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
GH Recap 12/03: Something about shaft as in mine
Old Mine: What were they mining in upstate New York all those years ago? Why did they abandon it? Answers to these questions are surely more interesting than watching Steve Burton and Kelly Monaco pretend to injure their backs picking up papier mache boulders.
PCPD Bullpen: Liz sits at a desk, and thumbs through mug shots. I wonder if this is the Russian edition of mugshots? She looks haggard and teary eyed. Lucky looks fresh as a daisy. That Greg Vaughn, he never really bothers to do any acting does he?
Who Cares Where: Tracy finds Luke in yet another bar. Why is she following him?
Emily's Closet: Emily sleeps. She is wearing those cute baby mittens that keep her from scratching her face, because she's so wee she has no idea what hands are, or what faces are or why sometimes there is this pain near the place she sees from. Babies are so incompetent. Robin whines that she's a bad mom. Patrick leaves and Emma immediately begins crying. Emma is pretty smart actually. I would do the same thing!
Credits
Nadine apparently hasn't been killed by her own stupidity. Nik shows up at Aunt Raylene's with a very gaudy bouquet. he meets Nadine's lumberjack of a bafoon of a cousin. Lumberjack is angry that Nik is trying to trick Nadine into marrying him. I think he also comments on Nik's princely clothes. I might be making that up. Nadine rushes in and hugs Nik.
Tiki Torture: Oh, I think this is supposed to be the Dominican Republic. It's basically the pizza shack with some gaudy colors and a beaded curtain. Luke has come to head off the divorce, I guess? But why would Tracy ever enter this bar? Is this the courthouse too? She talks about broken glass and being naked, as women on this show are obsessed with doing, and then she leaves. It starts to rain really hard. And Tracy is made of sugar, so she can't leave, I guess.
PCPD: Liz really looks in need of a nap. Sascha shows up and Liz wants to accost her b/c she assumes Sascha knows where Jakeson is. Lucky stops her and says that somehow they can't ask her where Jakeson is because they have to find out what she did with Jake. I don't think the writers even try to make Lucky make sense anymore.
Shaft!: Sam and her black bra continues to help Jason, and what I can only assume is a white bra pick up pieces of papier mache. They bicker about Russians a bit, and then the shaft goes down, which must be a nice change of pace for it.
Commercials
Tiki Torture: Why did Tracy stand in the rain so long that she got sopping wet? Wouldn't you rush in immediately, instead of standing there like Ziggy? There is, of course, no cell phone. There are also no employees. Also, Luke is drinking a pumpkin colored cocktail which is very vomity looking. Luke is calm and sure he's going to win Tracy over. Tracy opens her lovely LV bag and pulls out dry clothes.
Petticoat Junction: I dunno. Nadine yammers sadly about her aunt being ill while Piano Guy plinks away.
GH: Endless conversation between the Brothers Drake, Piph and Layla. Piph teases Patrick for being tired from being a new dad. Layla gets a call about a head trauma, but Piph guilts Patrick into admitting he's too tired to do the surgery. So why doesn't he go home and sleep? Or check into a hotel and sleep? What the hell good is a surgeon who can't do surgeries?
Emma's Closet: Robin holds the baby but instead of singing a sweet song, or telling a sweet story, she whines endlessly about her insecurities and fears. Babies really love that sort of thing, I'm told. Maxie visits and demands that Robin do some primping so she won't traumatize the baby. Robin says Emma doesn't care what she looks like. True, but she's really moved by what you SMELL like, so listen to Maxie and take some time to bathe. It's very nice of Maxie! Maxie is adorable in a black shirt and cream colored sweater with black bows on it. I'm sad about the spit up that's about to adorn it.
Commercials
for some reason Robin doesn't jump at the chance to bathe. I guess she's just so happy to have someone new to whine to. Oh, Maxie is in a black dress, not shirt. It's even cuter, this outfit. She also bought Robin nice clothes so that she doesn't send Emma bad fashion subliminal messages. Robin finally leaves to shower. Maxie coos at a sleeping Emma. I think Emma is made of whatever was in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction b/c there is an odd glow coming from the basinet. Also, Maxie, never wake a sleeping baby! Spinelli shows up, and the sound of his voice wakes Emma, who begins to cry. Maxie sticks her fingers in her ears and squints at the racket.
GH; The Brothers Drake, Piph and Layla chat a bit about what they were like as babies. Patrick has decided to combat his exhaustion by drinking coffee. Ah, an exhausted and jittery brain surgeon. Sign me up! Patrick decides to take the next surgery that comes in. Layla is concerned but Piph says Patrick is too arrogant to botch a surgery. Then why was she just harassing the guy?
Shaft!: Sam and Jason bicker about how to get through the 3 inches of cardboard that surrounds them. I wonder why they don't just try kicking it over? Jason moves a papier mache rock and reveals light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure the light symbolizes the end of Jason and Sam's relationship, and the lamp represents the candle Jason holds for Liz. and the cardboard symbolizes Lucky's personality. Sam's chest symbolizes silicon valley. har har
PCPD: Mac interrogates Sascha and says that Russians kidnapped Jake and Sascha is russian therefore, obviously Diego is back from the dead and kidnapping people. Sascha leaves and Liz angrily asks her where her son is. lol, yeah, Liz, that should take care of that! I'm sure Mac didn't bother to ask, so it's a good thing you are here!
Commercials
PCPD: Liz screams at Sascha and begs her to tell her where Jake is. Sascha says she doesn't know. Liz says Jakeson is a baby and needs his mother. Sascha, says "oh, I never thought of it like that. he's in a cabin by the old mine!" Not really. Instead she blames Liez for having a mobster for a boyfriend and thus making her kids a target. Team Sascha! Lucky keeps holding Liz back. He really has very little acting skills, this one. Liz fights against Lucky and calls Sascha a not very nice word that rhymes with witch. Mr. Mad giggles, but I thought Rebecca handled the scene well.
Emma's Closet: Spinelli has calmed Emma and puts her to bed. Maxie plays peakaboo teddy bear with Emma while Spinelli takes a call from Jason. Spinelli plops down on the sofa and busts out El Laptopo to help Jason figure out how to find Russians, or some other impossibly unrealistic thing. Robin emerges clean and in new clothes and silently watches Spinelli talk to a mobster while her baby sleeps. That is pretty bad form, Spinelli. Robin asks Maxie what's going on, and Maxie chirps happily "Spinelli is helping Jason."
Mob Mobile: Jason thanks Spinelli for the magic and unrealistic help. Then Sam bizarrely rubs it in to Jason that his son is missing. I think her intentions are to communicate that she knows this is hard for him, but this is such a horribly clumsy way to go about it. You don't say things like "not knowing where your kid is, and if they are safe" to someone.
Petticoat Junction: Nadine babbles for 3 hours about her effing aunt raylene. it would be fine if she was actually crying about it, but she just babbles and uses a fake crying voice, but it's not even a good fake crying voice like Tamara Braun's. Tyler Christopher looks bored out of his ever loving mind. He tries to flash those doe eyes and seem enchanted, but he fails. I can't even call him Nik in this scene. It just looks like Tyler Christopher in a Nik costume, wishing for death. Some old man walks in and asks why Nik wants to marry his niece.
Tiki Torture: Blah blah Tracy and Luke fight some more. Luke shouts that he chose Tracy over Laura. It's very dramatic, and causes Mr. Mad to chuckle. She tells him to read her lips and leaves. Thunder claps ominously. Or comically. It's getting REALLY hard to tell the difference between the two 'round here.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin throws Spinelli and Maxie out and asks them not to do mob business while babysitting. Emily Post never commented on the etiquette of such things, so it's hardly Maxie's fault! They leave, and Emma begins crying on cue. Robin makes a big ol' production out of finding this annoying. Gee, Robin, maybe if you quit openly hating your baby, she would chill out around you!
GH; patrick tells Piph and Layla to quit mocking him over and over again because he's got it under control. But then he turns around and runs into a nurse pushing a cart. Because you only do that when you are tired. Why was that woman with the cart rolling up behind a doctor without politely saying "behind you!"
PCPD: Liz sobs. her face is all contorted into self loathing and endless weeping. Lucky stupidly tries to calm her, even though she's saying what he's been saying all along. Why do people do that on this show? bitch and moan about something someone is doing that's bad for them, but then let them off the hook when they have an epiphany about it? Liz says her son is gone b/c The Danger knew Jason cared about him "and they knew that b/c of me" She says it's no different than leaving a small child unattended by a swimming pool. Actually, it's a lot worse, but I see your point, Liz.
Other Desolate Cabin, but not the one they were at earlier, or the one Alexis and Ric conceived Molly in, or the one Mary Bishop lived in, or the one Emily was raped in, or any of the ones Jason and Sonny keep fully stocked, this is a Russian-y one. It has some of those mosque-y looking spires on top. Jason and Sam gather outside the door. There is no dead Russian in the doorway, and the windows and latches are intact, so they decide not to knock politely like Lucky did. Sam wants to rush in, but Jason wants to make sure Jakeson is in there. Mr. Mad gigglesnorts at the drama of it all.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin tells crying Emma that she loves her. she lists that her diaper is dry, she's fed and has burped. She wishes Emma would look up and gurgle. patrick comes home, and of course, she stops crying immediately. Mr. Mad giggles and says "that's such a doll!" Robin whines why is she bad at parenting and he's not. Emma asks if she'd like some cheese with that.
Tiki torture: blah blah, they are trapped in the rain and hate each other until thursday when they fall in love again. We know.
Petticoat Junction: Nadine explains that Nik is an actual prince, and Lumberjack and Old Man both laugh and say there are no princes in this country. Nik says she knows he's a descendent from Russian nobility. It's all very stupid and poorly acted and poorly scripted. Let's just cut to the chase: Nik has to marry Nadine because Aunt Rayeffinglyne's wish is to see Nadine married. Not happy, mind you. Not with a lick of sense, mind you. Not successful...just married. To any old doofus. I think that was a porn lick in the geetar, is how random this scene is. There are episodes of Three's Company with more panache.
Other Desolate Cabin: Jason and Sam get ready to make their move....24 hours from now. The music gets dramatic, and Mr. Mad sings along. He's so cute!
PCPD Bullpen: Liz sits at a desk, and thumbs through mug shots. I wonder if this is the Russian edition of mugshots? She looks haggard and teary eyed. Lucky looks fresh as a daisy. That Greg Vaughn, he never really bothers to do any acting does he?
Who Cares Where: Tracy finds Luke in yet another bar. Why is she following him?
Emily's Closet: Emily sleeps. She is wearing those cute baby mittens that keep her from scratching her face, because she's so wee she has no idea what hands are, or what faces are or why sometimes there is this pain near the place she sees from. Babies are so incompetent. Robin whines that she's a bad mom. Patrick leaves and Emma immediately begins crying. Emma is pretty smart actually. I would do the same thing!
Credits
Nadine apparently hasn't been killed by her own stupidity. Nik shows up at Aunt Raylene's with a very gaudy bouquet. he meets Nadine's lumberjack of a bafoon of a cousin. Lumberjack is angry that Nik is trying to trick Nadine into marrying him. I think he also comments on Nik's princely clothes. I might be making that up. Nadine rushes in and hugs Nik.
Tiki Torture: Oh, I think this is supposed to be the Dominican Republic. It's basically the pizza shack with some gaudy colors and a beaded curtain. Luke has come to head off the divorce, I guess? But why would Tracy ever enter this bar? Is this the courthouse too? She talks about broken glass and being naked, as women on this show are obsessed with doing, and then she leaves. It starts to rain really hard. And Tracy is made of sugar, so she can't leave, I guess.
PCPD: Liz really looks in need of a nap. Sascha shows up and Liz wants to accost her b/c she assumes Sascha knows where Jakeson is. Lucky stops her and says that somehow they can't ask her where Jakeson is because they have to find out what she did with Jake. I don't think the writers even try to make Lucky make sense anymore.
Shaft!: Sam and her black bra continues to help Jason, and what I can only assume is a white bra pick up pieces of papier mache. They bicker about Russians a bit, and then the shaft goes down, which must be a nice change of pace for it.
Commercials
Tiki Torture: Why did Tracy stand in the rain so long that she got sopping wet? Wouldn't you rush in immediately, instead of standing there like Ziggy? There is, of course, no cell phone. There are also no employees. Also, Luke is drinking a pumpkin colored cocktail which is very vomity looking. Luke is calm and sure he's going to win Tracy over. Tracy opens her lovely LV bag and pulls out dry clothes.
Petticoat Junction: I dunno. Nadine yammers sadly about her aunt being ill while Piano Guy plinks away.
GH: Endless conversation between the Brothers Drake, Piph and Layla. Piph teases Patrick for being tired from being a new dad. Layla gets a call about a head trauma, but Piph guilts Patrick into admitting he's too tired to do the surgery. So why doesn't he go home and sleep? Or check into a hotel and sleep? What the hell good is a surgeon who can't do surgeries?
Emma's Closet: Robin holds the baby but instead of singing a sweet song, or telling a sweet story, she whines endlessly about her insecurities and fears. Babies really love that sort of thing, I'm told. Maxie visits and demands that Robin do some primping so she won't traumatize the baby. Robin says Emma doesn't care what she looks like. True, but she's really moved by what you SMELL like, so listen to Maxie and take some time to bathe. It's very nice of Maxie! Maxie is adorable in a black shirt and cream colored sweater with black bows on it. I'm sad about the spit up that's about to adorn it.
Commercials
for some reason Robin doesn't jump at the chance to bathe. I guess she's just so happy to have someone new to whine to. Oh, Maxie is in a black dress, not shirt. It's even cuter, this outfit. She also bought Robin nice clothes so that she doesn't send Emma bad fashion subliminal messages. Robin finally leaves to shower. Maxie coos at a sleeping Emma. I think Emma is made of whatever was in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction b/c there is an odd glow coming from the basinet. Also, Maxie, never wake a sleeping baby! Spinelli shows up, and the sound of his voice wakes Emma, who begins to cry. Maxie sticks her fingers in her ears and squints at the racket.
GH; The Brothers Drake, Piph and Layla chat a bit about what they were like as babies. Patrick has decided to combat his exhaustion by drinking coffee. Ah, an exhausted and jittery brain surgeon. Sign me up! Patrick decides to take the next surgery that comes in. Layla is concerned but Piph says Patrick is too arrogant to botch a surgery. Then why was she just harassing the guy?
Shaft!: Sam and Jason bicker about how to get through the 3 inches of cardboard that surrounds them. I wonder why they don't just try kicking it over? Jason moves a papier mache rock and reveals light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure the light symbolizes the end of Jason and Sam's relationship, and the lamp represents the candle Jason holds for Liz. and the cardboard symbolizes Lucky's personality. Sam's chest symbolizes silicon valley. har har
PCPD: Mac interrogates Sascha and says that Russians kidnapped Jake and Sascha is russian therefore, obviously Diego is back from the dead and kidnapping people. Sascha leaves and Liz angrily asks her where her son is. lol, yeah, Liz, that should take care of that! I'm sure Mac didn't bother to ask, so it's a good thing you are here!
Commercials
PCPD: Liz screams at Sascha and begs her to tell her where Jake is. Sascha says she doesn't know. Liz says Jakeson is a baby and needs his mother. Sascha, says "oh, I never thought of it like that. he's in a cabin by the old mine!" Not really. Instead she blames Liez for having a mobster for a boyfriend and thus making her kids a target. Team Sascha! Lucky keeps holding Liz back. He really has very little acting skills, this one. Liz fights against Lucky and calls Sascha a not very nice word that rhymes with witch. Mr. Mad giggles, but I thought Rebecca handled the scene well.
Emma's Closet: Spinelli has calmed Emma and puts her to bed. Maxie plays peakaboo teddy bear with Emma while Spinelli takes a call from Jason. Spinelli plops down on the sofa and busts out El Laptopo to help Jason figure out how to find Russians, or some other impossibly unrealistic thing. Robin emerges clean and in new clothes and silently watches Spinelli talk to a mobster while her baby sleeps. That is pretty bad form, Spinelli. Robin asks Maxie what's going on, and Maxie chirps happily "Spinelli is helping Jason."
Mob Mobile: Jason thanks Spinelli for the magic and unrealistic help. Then Sam bizarrely rubs it in to Jason that his son is missing. I think her intentions are to communicate that she knows this is hard for him, but this is such a horribly clumsy way to go about it. You don't say things like "not knowing where your kid is, and if they are safe" to someone.
Petticoat Junction: Nadine babbles for 3 hours about her effing aunt raylene. it would be fine if she was actually crying about it, but she just babbles and uses a fake crying voice, but it's not even a good fake crying voice like Tamara Braun's. Tyler Christopher looks bored out of his ever loving mind. He tries to flash those doe eyes and seem enchanted, but he fails. I can't even call him Nik in this scene. It just looks like Tyler Christopher in a Nik costume, wishing for death. Some old man walks in and asks why Nik wants to marry his niece.
Tiki Torture: Blah blah Tracy and Luke fight some more. Luke shouts that he chose Tracy over Laura. It's very dramatic, and causes Mr. Mad to chuckle. She tells him to read her lips and leaves. Thunder claps ominously. Or comically. It's getting REALLY hard to tell the difference between the two 'round here.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin throws Spinelli and Maxie out and asks them not to do mob business while babysitting. Emily Post never commented on the etiquette of such things, so it's hardly Maxie's fault! They leave, and Emma begins crying on cue. Robin makes a big ol' production out of finding this annoying. Gee, Robin, maybe if you quit openly hating your baby, she would chill out around you!
GH; patrick tells Piph and Layla to quit mocking him over and over again because he's got it under control. But then he turns around and runs into a nurse pushing a cart. Because you only do that when you are tired. Why was that woman with the cart rolling up behind a doctor without politely saying "behind you!"
PCPD: Liz sobs. her face is all contorted into self loathing and endless weeping. Lucky stupidly tries to calm her, even though she's saying what he's been saying all along. Why do people do that on this show? bitch and moan about something someone is doing that's bad for them, but then let them off the hook when they have an epiphany about it? Liz says her son is gone b/c The Danger knew Jason cared about him "and they knew that b/c of me" She says it's no different than leaving a small child unattended by a swimming pool. Actually, it's a lot worse, but I see your point, Liz.
Other Desolate Cabin, but not the one they were at earlier, or the one Alexis and Ric conceived Molly in, or the one Mary Bishop lived in, or the one Emily was raped in, or any of the ones Jason and Sonny keep fully stocked, this is a Russian-y one. It has some of those mosque-y looking spires on top. Jason and Sam gather outside the door. There is no dead Russian in the doorway, and the windows and latches are intact, so they decide not to knock politely like Lucky did. Sam wants to rush in, but Jason wants to make sure Jakeson is in there. Mr. Mad gigglesnorts at the drama of it all.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin tells crying Emma that she loves her. she lists that her diaper is dry, she's fed and has burped. She wishes Emma would look up and gurgle. patrick comes home, and of course, she stops crying immediately. Mr. Mad giggles and says "that's such a doll!" Robin whines why is she bad at parenting and he's not. Emma asks if she'd like some cheese with that.
Tiki torture: blah blah, they are trapped in the rain and hate each other until thursday when they fall in love again. We know.
Petticoat Junction: Nadine explains that Nik is an actual prince, and Lumberjack and Old Man both laugh and say there are no princes in this country. Nik says she knows he's a descendent from Russian nobility. It's all very stupid and poorly acted and poorly scripted. Let's just cut to the chase: Nik has to marry Nadine because Aunt Rayeffinglyne's wish is to see Nadine married. Not happy, mind you. Not with a lick of sense, mind you. Not successful...just married. To any old doofus. I think that was a porn lick in the geetar, is how random this scene is. There are episodes of Three's Company with more panache.
Other Desolate Cabin: Jason and Sam get ready to make their move....24 hours from now. The music gets dramatic, and Mr. Mad sings along. He's so cute!
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