GH Recap 12/29: The Danger is Dead....Long Live The Danger

Wedding: Robin rambles endlessly for her vows. They are very sweet, but she's really just recapping their love affair. I would be so bored at a wedding where someone did this. If she mentions a couch, I'm outta here. She promises to love him more than she did yesterday and less than she will tomorrow, and for the rest of her life.

Corinthaus: Jason asks why they have to do this every time. Jason isn't changing his business for Sonny. Sonny says Wheels is not in charge. Jason says Sonny can't trust Wheels....or Trevor or Ric. The reason I love Sonny and Jason fighting is that they can't both be right if they are different sides. It cracks me up that Jason gets the default "always right" setting, and that Sonny is an idiot. The bad news is that we all know that obviously Sonny will one day learn that Wheels shot Kate (even though Jason figured it out 10 years before it happened), and then he'll be all glib and full of himself, when really he should be embarassed that it took so long.

Metrocourt: Carly and Jax puke about their relationship.

Wedding: Patrick has found the most profound experience of his life by loving robin and Emma, and he promises to give back to her all she's given him 10 times over. He promises to love her and Emma for as long s they both live. Robin smiles tearfully up at him.

Commercials

Corinthaus: Sonny says it's a....it's a....it's amaaaazing how much you've changed. Jason says Sonny gave him the organization, and thus it's his job to run it as he sees fit. Sonny says it's a...it's amaaaazing how you justify everything. Oh, dear, now I gotta bust out the pot and the kettle again. Sonny makes a phone call. (he dials like Spinelli types, by the way, so I'm sure some poor schlub in Australia is all "G'day, Mate!") Sonny tells someone to send a shipment to Pier 17. Piano Guy plays a maudlin tune with Violin Guy. Jason says "you would challenge me like that? Today of all days. Don't you even remember?"

Wedding: Priest asks for the rings, and Shawn Douglas decides that it's hilarious to make Patrick panic and pretend to have lost the rings. Har dee effing har, oh, whoops, did I just punch your lights out, Shawn? They exchange rings. As on all soap weddings, they somehow managed to memorize the vows that go with the rings and know exactly when to say them. Then they are officially married, and they kiss! Everyone claps! I guess her water didn't break for the delivery of Emma's twin. Maybe later. They walk down the aisle to start their life together. $50 says she's chastising him about something stupid within 4 hours.

Commercials

Metrocourt Reception: Anna gets a bit teary eyed in a happy way as she and Robert say they must have done something right in their lives. Maxie remains very much in need of a valium and complains that Jason couldn't cancel the crime wave for one day and come to the wedding, and that Liz isn't there either. Mac randomly knows that Liz went out of town with her kids. Robin and Patrick show up to applause.

Sam's Apartment: jax stops by to talk about Jerry.

Corinthaus: Sonny stuttermopes that he remembers Chucky. He says he doesn't need Jason to remind him of the guilt he carries every day of his life. Well, you need SOMEONE to remind you, ding dong. Jason mutters "this is me not giving an inch" or something like that, but he says out of respect for Chucky, he won't stop The Shipment today. He says if it happens again, he will be prepared to stop The Shipment and do what he needs to do. Jason pulls out of Sonny's back door. Ok. That was a bit much, sorry.

Metrocourt: Robin does that cute thing where she starts trying on the words "my husband" for the first time. Gawd, the reason for honeymoons is so the poor friends and family of the newlyweds don't have to watch them relish saying "Husband, would you hand me my shoes?" "Why, yes, wife, I'd be happy to." Robin and Patrick share their first dance. There doesn't seem to be music playing, though.

Commercials

Wedding Reception: Robin and Patrick end their dance to what sounds like the most dreadful pop song ever. Was Rie Sinclair on strike or something? Robin and Anna dance while Robert and Robin dance. Anna tells Patrick she's glad he found her daughter. Patrick promises to be good to her. Maxie fidgets a bit because Maxie apparently has a crack addiction today. Shawn Douglas asks her to dance. Shawn D asks about Spinelli, and she says he's her friend. He says Spin is kind of weird, and Maxie says if he's going to put Spinelli down, she's done dancing. Shawn doesn't apologize but he changes the subject. Spinelli, meanwhile, watches in great pain from the bar. Robin and Robert dance, and he gives her advice. he says that making a family requires a constant presence, so don't make the mistakes he and Anna made. Robin says she doesn't blame them, and she's responsible for her own happiness. She tells him that he and Anna are officially off the hook, and they did a good job. Robert makes a cute "yay" noise and smiles gigantically at her.

Sam's Apartment: Sam is whispering something to Jax. I think it's about the drugs and the seductispying and such. Jax can't help but to believe Jerry managed to pull it off and make it look like he died. Sam sympathetically says she really doesn't think so because of where Jerry was when the boat exploded. Will someone wipe the ketchup off of Kelly Monaco's face, please? Jax says he's sorry for everything Sam went through. She insists she put herself in danger and chose the path. Jax says he's sorry just the same. Sam tells Jax that, for what it's worth, Jerry only ever spoke of Jax with love. He thanks her and leaves.

Wedding Reception: Robert watches Anna and Luke dance. Robin sits with Mac and says she hopes he didn't feel upstaged with Robert walking her down the aisle. He kindly laughs and says he feels nothing but happiness and sees nothing but all the milestones he got to be a part of in her life, and he's grateful he got to live through it all with her. sniff. She says she loves him so much, and then she cuts in on Patrick and Maxie dancing. Again with the "Hello, Husband." "Hello, Wife" She says she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it. I have to admit, I still get giggly about it, so she may be right. Robert wants to make a speech.

Commercials

Wedding Reception: Robert and Anna make loving toasts to the marriage.

Corinthaus: Sonny sits around moping.

Wedding Reception: Edward begs Luke to win Tracy back, so she'll quit making them all miserable. he says get something diamond-y and make them all believe it.

Robin and Patrick start to cut the cake, and Robert and Anna remember back to wee, adorable Robin and telling her she's a love child. The hell? Why would they say that to her. Also, Anna's hair is eighties-rific. No, it's eighties in TEXAS-rific. Robin has a squeaky little voice and tells them to just assure her they love her forever. Mr. Mad groans that it's sooo awful. Robert and Anna promise, and Robin says she fowgives them and tells them not to evew do that again. They giggle. Robert asks Anna in the present if she remembers the night they told Robin she was their daughter. Anna says "oh my God, I was just thinking that." Mr. Mad giggles and asks "what does that even mean, the night we told you you were our daughter?" I tell him it's a long story. Robin and Patrick eat cake.

Commercials

Whole Foods: Sonny has stopped by to see Chucky on his birthday, and Carly allows it. Oh, it's actually Dylan Cash. Carly sits and holds Chucky's hand and remembers once buying him every toy she could find, but Sonny trumped her by buying an ATV. She says he loves Sonny so much, and it's well deserved. Oh, I'm so totally over these idiots commending each other on being good parents WHEN THEY ARE IN A WHOLE FOODS to visit their kid. They both cry and Sonny says he's just so sorry. She says he doesn't have to keep saying that. I agree. But he COULD quit killing people and doing stuff that makes other people want to kill him and his loved ones. Carly idiotically says they make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes blow back on the people we care about, and there is nothing we can do. That is insane, that line of thinking. Or, it's at the very least the way an addict thinks. They sit around and forgive each other and themselves and then walk out the door to immediately wreak more havoc and violence. Shut up, Sonny's tears. gawd.

Sam's Apartment: Jason shows up b/c Sam beckoned him. She says Agent Raynor is still investigating the case, but she thought it was closed. Jason says that Raynor offered him immunity for rolling over on Sonny, but he turned him down. Sam says of course he did. She says that Raynor was asking about Spinelli. This bothers Jason, and he says as much. Mr. Mad does a good Jason impression and growls "It bothers me too."

Wedding Reception: Oh, dears. Spinelli fantasizes to dancing with Maxie while singing that song about loving the way you hold your knife, which is the most oddly romantic line I can think off, honestly. To love someone so much that the way they cut their food makes you feel wiggly? That's good stuff! They dance adorably. Bradford Anderson's voice is very nice, but it's a bit pageanty. I am surprised Mr. Mad is just letting this slide, until I realize he hasn't looked up. When he does, he guffaws and says "Oh, I appreciate this so much more now that I realize it's that weird little dude." Maxie jolts Spinelli out of his fantasy.

The End