GH Recap 11/18: Chim, chiminey

Metrocourt: Jax and McFarty discuss stuff. Carly angrily walks up and asks if Jax said he'd sleep with Kate.

Olivia's Room: Kate eaveslurks on the flirting between Sonny and Olivia. she finally steps into the room and calls them on it.

Wheatgrass Cafe: As 77 from Soapnet hilariously pointed out, Liz stands there in all white, hat, gloves and coat because she rushed to the scene of a fire. She hugs Jason, who was in said fire, but somehow she remains soot free. It's always been the gritty, gritty realism of this show that has me entranced.

Spooky Steps: Spinelli rushes to Maxie's side and clutches her lifeless body.

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Metrocourt: McFarty is sort of adorable today. He's wearing a seafoam green shirt and a pretty blue tie. The tie seems to have tic tac toe "x and o's" on it. He has a matching pocket square. I suppose Carly and Jax also bicker about their tedious love. Carly actually has the nerve to be perturbed that Jax spends time with anyone but her. I wish someone would brush her hair.

Olivia's Room: Kate accuses Olivia of hitting on Sonny. of course she doesn't bother to accuse Sonny of anything. Kate says that 100 years ago, Olivia snuck off to meet Sonny at the Feast of San Genarro. Olivia had said that Sonny was no good, but then Kate found her making out with him behind the zeppole stand. I can almost smell the Brooklyn from here. Olivia mockingly says "you're right, Kate, I trapped myself in a burning building, so that I could be near Sonny." Sonny tells Kate she's out of line.

Spooky Steps: Spinelli calls for help.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Liz tells Jason about a patient who lost his love in a drunk driving accident, and how the patient wept for wasted and lost time. I love that General Hospital is like Seattle Grace and that the patients come in and have horrible days, and the idiot doctors and nurses just make these other people's tragedies "all about me." Liz, just b/c that guy lost the love of his life doesn't mean it's safe for your little boys to be around a mobster. To agree with me, beautiful lunkhead Lucky shows up and asks Liz what the heck she's doing. We won't know if he means "hanging out near a fire in all white" or "hanging out with a mobster who is currently under attack by Russian Rapscallions."

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Chez Zee: Looloo and Johnny hang out in his blue and shadowy bedroom. Oh dear, he says she's the one good and true thing that's ever happened to him. I sense a sex montage coming.

Corinthaus: IT'S RIC. HOTASS RIC LANSING. He waits for Sonny and finds Claud doing the same in the living room. How is it that I have very little power in this world, yet I manage to keep uninvited guests out of my home when I'm not there. Claud teases Ric that they will be in-laws soon. He says he thinks she wants him to talk her out of it. or her clothes. someone talk Ric out of his clothes.

Olivia's Room: Sonny interprets Kate's anger at Olivia to mean that Kate doesn't want Kate and Sonny to be over. Kate says he swore he was committed to her, but at the first opportunity, he ran to Carly. and then Sonny actually says "why do you have to bring that up?" and that is my cue to quit paying any attention to anything he ever says. I'm just going to pretend he's singing songs from The Wiz instead. Sonny eases on down the road, leaving Olivia and Kate alone. Kate tells Olivia that she should admit that she's falling for Sonny all over again.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Lucky points out that Jason is under attack by one of the largest countries on the planet. Liz whimpers away all the affection I've regained for her of late, and she petulantly tells Lucky that he can't tell her what to do. Man, this chick is annoying. Jason softly tells Liz that Lucky is right, so Liz now has not mind of her own and is fine with being told what to do on account of Jason told her so. She lets herself be led away by Lucky. Look, I don't really care if Liz is a good mother or not. No one on the show is, so it doesn't make her anything special, but I do care when a character is as schizophrenic as she is. She's been steadfast in her torturing of Jason, not letting him be around his son, but letting him be around his son just enough that it's cruel and unusual, just enough to keep him devoted and in love with the kid, but never enough to really bond with the kid. So now she's decided that her lady parts are open for business, and she doesn't care what happens to her kids. Fine, but then BE THAT. Don't let Lucky or Jason or anyone tell you otherwise, then, Liz. Send your dopey kids off to boarding school and get your freak on 4 days a week, for all I care. But don't be a petulant whiney baby about it.

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Can we PLEASE quit calling the "pregnant man" a man? he' s not a man any more than I'm a man. He's a lady on hormones some of the time.

Metrocourt: I hope Nik and Carly end up getting married. I would almost not hate that. Nik tells Carly that Nadine has offered to marry him. He says it jokingly. Carly guffaws at this and says "I bet she has." heh. Nik says he's sure Nadine is just doing him a favor. Why is Nik slowly becoming as dumb as his brother? Nadine shows up and gidgets that since they are engaged, he shouldn't spend too much time with Carly.

GH: Maxie gets wheeled in. Spinelli wants to follow Maxie into the ER, but Shawn Douglas stops him. Spinelli bellows that Maxie would never leave him in the same circumstances. Shawn D softens and says he has to get to work. Layla comes up to comfort Spinelli. Spinelli laments that he found Maxie at the same spot her sister died. he feared it was a repeat of that loss and says it would be unbearable.

Corinthaus: Ric asks Claud what she wants. Claud says her life is simply about survival and entertaining herself. She says being with Ric was surprising and lovely, but over. She's marrying Sonny. She says there will be no love, and if they do it right, they can keep seeing each other. Ric tells Claud that being in The Revenge business with Sonny ended up destroying anything good in his life. Does she know about the panic room? Claud says it will be fine. Ric says Sonny will chew her up and spit her out. Sonny walks in and asks if he threw a party he forgot about.

Olivia's Room: or as I like to think of it: refill the diet coke time.... mmm, refreshing! Olivia is still blathering that she knew sonny was not just going through a phase. Then she loudly and clearly enunciates that she will never tell Dante that Sonny is his father. Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? jason was standing 5 feet away near an open door but couldn't hear anything that was just said even though normally Jason can be standing on another continent and know what color your socks are. Do y'all not know that knock knock joke?

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Chez Zee: Loo and Johnny bask in the afterglow, happy that they know they will count on their love for each other from now on.

Maxie's Room: Shawn Douglas assures Spin that Maxie is just bruised and will wake up soon. Spinelli says he knows only family can visit, but Shawn D is totally cool about it and lets Spinny sit bedside. Spinelli gives one of those gorgeous speeches that can only be transcribed verbatim to give the full effect. He says what he felt was that the world would no longer be manageable if she were not in it. He says "fair and cherished Maximista....Maxie. I love you." Aw. Maxie stirs and smiles openly at him, and my eyes grow warm.

GH: Liz is still bitchfacing left and right that she is so big and tough and can make her own decisions, except she is neither big nor tough and she has yet to make her own decision about just about anything...except maybe this get up she's wearing. Sam is there, but Liz asks to speak to Lucky alone. Liz tries to draw a comparison between Sam and Lucky and their confusing drug running bribery that was going on with Jerry. I love that I watch every day, and Liz and I have the exact same understanding of that plot line, which is to say: very little. and that she thinks it's stupid too. Lucky gently tells Liz that Jason is a MOBSTER who is a MOBSTER FOR A LIVING and deals with MOBSTERS. Liz blinks at him like this is news to her.

Corinthaus: Ric hotly tells Sonny that he doesn't need to deal with Wheels anymore. He says they don't agree about Jason, but he can handle the Russians. Sonny mumbles that he wants to take Wheels up on his offer, so that Ric has to answer to him. Ric hotly leaves. Sonny says claud was supposed to leave too. Claud says she can't believe Sonny is falling for anything Ric says. Sonny says that Ric is bummed b/c he worked hard to be at the top of Wheels ladder, and now he won't be. Claud says Ric is bummed b/c he thinks he can have Claud for himself. She says that they know better, and that she'll soon be Mrs. Sonny Corinthos (for the 4th time).

Commericals

Chez Zee: Johnny embraces Looloo as they enjoy the view from his penthouse. He says the money that bought this view is as dirty as it comes. Maybe Johnny can get a job rebuilding places the Russians burned down.

Metrocourt: Nadine rambles that she knows it's a marriage of convenience, but Carly is not very moral. Carly deadpans that she's going to let Nik handle this and leaves. Nik says the reason he asked her here is b/c he wanted to do this in person. At a hotel lobby, and not his house. Nadine says she realizes Nik wanted to be the one to propose.

Meanwhile, Carly realizes Jax is up to no good. Jax and the Strings of Stupidity plink their way over to Nik. So apparently some Indian tribe owns Spoon Island, and they've relinquished their right to it, so Jax bought it. I guess that's no more idiotic than anything else on the show. strum strum!

Maxie's Room: Maxie and Spinelli enjoy a few moments. Mac enters, steaming mad and angrily says only family is allowed. Maxie defends Spinelli and says he's who found her and saved her. Spinelli says he'll honor Mac's wishes. Mac and Spinelli meet in the hallway. spinelli starts to speak, but Mac? He has buried one too many daughters, and I can't say I have a single argument. Not that I would argue. He is so righteously angry, though it's unfair this is directed at Spinelli and not Jason or Sonny. He says Spinelli has chosen to ally himself with a murderer and a mobster, and he is just as responsible for the havoc they wreak. He says he's buried a daughter and his only remaining daughter is Maxie. He points at Spinelli's chest and with anger and exhaustion and fear and prayer tells Spinelli to stay away from her. he leaves a stunned Spinelli, who can only mostly agree with everything Mac just said.

Alleydocks: Sam and Jason meet up. She is still high from her adventures and wants another fix, and she thinks she has some sort of plan. Sam may be immoral and kind of dopey, but the girl knows to wear black to a fire, at least.

Commericals

Corinthaus: Sonny says Claud originally said she'd rather eat dirt than be with him. She says this was before he flipped the script and shot Krapov. He pours a drink for his beard. She says she knows he's going to drag his feet to get whatever concession he can from Wheels, but that he better not take too long. Sonny's beard is weakening Sonny's overall mojo. I think it's something to due with diluting the dimples. Claud says that at least they know the sex is good. She kisses him, and he doesn't resist. Kate, of course, watches from the terrace.

Jason's Apartment/ Maxie's Room: Maxie tells Mac that Spinelli is loyal and true. Mac says that he's just too dangerous. Her big beautiful blue eyes fill with tears as she says he's the only friend she's ever ahd, and that they'd do anything for each other. Mac admits that he even likes Spinelli somewhat. Mac says if Spinelli truely cares for her, he'll get out of her life b/c he's a danger to her.
Meanwhile, SPinelli has been Jackaling on his laptop and discovers something dire. he pulls out Jason's magic box of guns and photos of Jakeson andpulls out the gun.
Mac sadly says he can't lose her like he lost Georgie.

Docks: Sam says she can easily go back to work for the Russians to get more info. Jasons ays it's too much to risk. Sam says "Jason, I'm not elizabeth. You don't have to worry about me. This is what I do, and I'm good at it." Jason turns sharply to look at her in surprise. She says he's in no position to turn down help.

The end.

GH Recap 11/17: Baby Come Back

Metrocourt: Carly meets Jax. She says she's done with the divorce papers and rips them in half. Then she makes this annoying, smug face and stares at him. She needs to blot her lipstick.

Kelly's al Fresco: Loo and Johnny make out in front of Kelly's b/c they don't really ever have anything else better to do. Claud walks up to yell at them that if she's miserable, he needs to be too. Or, you could just go get it on with hot ass Ric, but whatever, grumpy pants.

Sams' Apartment: Sam and Liz continue to drink coffee late at night and giggle and gossip about boys. Maxie says Jason is a stud and thinks there is still something there. Sam just laughs and says "stoooppp" in that way that doesn't really answer the question. Stolichnaya and Belvedere are still outside Sam's apartment and armed.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Oliva continues to pound on a door that is clearly locked instead of finding another exit. Sonny helps the barista out, and he tells Sonny he thinks a woman is trapped inside. Sonny enters the cafe as Olivia, in Jason's office, collapses.

Credits

Nurse's Station: Liz gets back to work, telling Piph that she met with Jason about A Situation. then Liz beams when she sees Patrick wheeling Robin and the wee baby Emma home. He's cutely saddled like Shirpa with baby bags. Piph and Liz have dopey smiles on their faces, that are impossible not to happen when a baby that teeny is within 12 miles. The elevator opens, and Patrick has a moment of panic, worrying that the elevator might get stuck. Robin says they are going to be great, and then gives this funny little "I hope!" Heh, it is weird when they hand you a baby and just send you off into the world "good luck with that! It's entire future depends on you!"

Metrocourt: Carly and Jax have already had this fight, so why are we watching it again? She tells him not to walk away from her kids and from "us". She says she said she was sorry, but she's acting like she's sorry that she forgot about missing dinner or forgetting their anniversary. She angrily says she didn't mean to hurt him. He sadly says she never means to hurt him. Diane walks by, anxious to get to a shoe sale in The Boutique. This nonsense that The Boutique is the only place in town you can buy nice clothes is so weird to me. Diane says she should get 20% off anything in The Boutique if she stands here and helps them. Diane angrily tells Jax that he is so lucky that Carly even speaks to him b/c he's been a disastrous husband in every way. Carly is very smug about this.

Sam's Apartment: Sam tells Maxie how she enjoyed the rush of escaping the ship, and she felt alive when she hit the water, and when she saw Jason was alright, she was glad they pulled it off. Maxie insists that Sam is as hooked on Jason as she is on the adventure. The door knob turns. They are still for a moment, but it turns out to be Lucky. Poor Maxie's face tries not to bleed awkward all over the place as she watches her best friend embrace the man she once loved enough to fake a pregnancy for. I've yet to meet the man I love that much. I hope I never do! Lucky tells Maxie they faked the break up.

Kelly's al Fresco: Claud and John yell at each other about The Danger and The Marriage. Looloo scoffs and says there is no way Claud is marrying sonny. Claud talks to John like Loo isn't there and asks him to explain it to her.

Wheatgrass Cafe: It's too bad there are all those little plants on the tables because I think it made the fire much stronger. Sonny, of course, manages to get Olivia out of the building b/c for some reason Jason's office locks people in the office but not out of the office. Mobsters are weird. Jason, of course, shows up just as Sonny pulls Olivia out. I love that Liz called Jason's building being on fire as "a situation came up." Shouldn't she be alerting the ER that there may be incoming patients?

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Michael Corinthos Memorial Park: Nadine runs into Nik and blathers that there are worse criminals than him, and he shouldn't be deported. Nik says she lost him. She says, don't worry about it, and yes, I'll marry you. Heh. She's all helpful about it.

Metrocourt: Diane assumes that Jax has been absent physically and otherwise for almost as many days as he's been present since they got married. She says it must be easier to blame Carly for everything than take some responsibility. Jax points out that Carly just said she slept with Sonny earlier. Diane points out that Jax and Carly aren't living together anymore. She says Carly is a saint for wanting to contest the divorce. Carly looks like she's about to make out with Diane. They scurry off together to go on a shopping spree at The Boutique. I imagine The Boutique as being four entire floors of the hotel.

Kelly's al Fresco: Claud tells Looloo that Johnny will make the same sacrifices she does, if he needs to. She says marrying Sonny is just business. Looloo says she doesn't have to listen to this, so she stomps off, with Johnny at her heels. Claud calls out that he's like a puppy dog.

Sam's Apartment: Maxie says she's glad they are together, but she wants to get the heck out of there. Sam thanks her for girl talk time. Maxie admits to Lucky that she and Liz fought, and his name came up. Lucky says it's all in the past. Maxie continues to stutter awkwardly but says she really does hope they find happiness. She skeedaddles, with Stolichnaya close at her heels. Luckys asks what that was about. Sam says Maxie has a hard time adjusting to the fact that she's actually a good person. Lucky gets a call and has to leave.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Olivia gets wheeled away. Sonny says to Jason "we have to get The Revenge." Jason angrily retorts "what, you got a frog in your pocket?" No, really he just says "no, not we."

Commercials

Scrubscar: Robin sits in the backseat with Emma. Patrick is very concerned that they didn't buckler her in properly. Apparently Patrick went and bought a mini van when he wasn't sitting by her bedside. He's driving about 10 miles an hour in a 30 zone. Robin teases him and says it's good he's being safe, but they'd like to get home today.

Michael Corinthos Memorial Park: Nik sputters that he appreciates the offer, but he has a team of lawyers, and is sure they'll come up with something. Nadine says it's no problem, and it's the least she can do. She rushes off to take care of wedding details. Wow, I don't know how I could care less about how this turns out.

Metrocourt: Carly and Jax fight some more, but I can't bear to care. Kate shows up to angrily says she and Sonny broke up for good "so Sonny's all yours" Carly has the nerve to look confused by this.

GH: Liz talks to Olivia. She asks where the fire was. Um, hello, Liz, you know the answer to this. Olivia says it was at Jason's office and Jason was there and helped Sonny pull her out of the fire. For some reason Liz stares into the distance like this is in some way surprising to her. Did she think Jason was lying when he said "I think my office is on fire"?

Wheatgrass Cafe: Sonny stutterbarks that Krapov chained him and threw him into 8 feet deep of harbor water. Jason says the only way he can protect his people is to distance himself from Sonny.

Commercials

Scorpio-Drake Home: Patrick has a hard time finding a key. Why wouldn't it be with the car key? They get settled in. She says she's still sore from the c-section, so he has to d a lot of the heavy lifting for awhile. robin says Emma needs to be changed. Har dee har har, poopy diapers are funny.

Metrocourt: Kate bitterly says that Carly did what she set out to do. Carly acts like she is confused. So aggravating. Kate says that Carly is always at the right time and place when Sonny needs her. She says she's no match for Hurricane Carly. Carly obnoxiously says it's typical that Kate would blame someone else for her failings. Kate gets a call from Piph that Olivia has been admitted for smoke inhalation. Kate tells Jax and then rushes off. Carly and her poofy curls yells at Jax that Kate is pathetic for blaming her. Jax says he agrees with Kate.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason yells at Sonny that he'll clean up the mess, but Sonny needs to stay out of the way. Lucky and Spinelli show up and ask what happned. Sonny, in his usualy stilted way, tells that he showed up and saw men tearing the place up with baseball bats, and he saved a woman. Lucky asks if he knows who started it. Sonny says he doesn't know, but he assumes they were after Jason. Then he walks away, all sad and dejected (and pointless and annoying).

Commercials

This episode is pretty nap inducing.

Scorpio-Drake Home: Robin and Patrick silently celebrate after Emma falls asleep. I think she's sleeping in that closet. Patrick says he used to be too arrogant to count his blessings, but he's going to change that. Her being here is a miracle to him. They start to kiss, but wee Emma starts to cry.

Metrocourt: I cannot bear one more second of Jax and Carly bickering about their failed relationship. She's even wearing a purple dress of the shade my bridesmaids wore, and still I find no joy or mirth from this scene.

Nurse's Station: Shawn Douglas brings Liz Olivia's file and says she can go home tomorrow. Liz gossipingly asks if Shawn knows how Olivia got caught in the fire. Sonny shows up to mumble something about Olivia. Both Shawn D and Liz seem to have no worries about medical ethics and happily tell a non family member all about Olivia's prognosis and whereabouts. Liz is still on duty, but that means about as much to her as Sonny means to me, so she packs up her stuff, even though Piph is watching, so she can rush off to "run errands"

Olivia's Room: Sonny expects gratitude from Olivia for saving her. She reasonably points out that she only needed saving b/c she got caught in the mob war crossfire that he started.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason asks Spinelli to go and ask Laptop to figure out every scrap of information about all Russians that might be in the country. and fast! Jason then half whsispers to Cody "and now we take the Russians OUT"

Snowy Park: I think this is the place where Georgie was killed. How spooky if it is. Maxie suddenly notices that Stolichnaya and Smirnoff are following her. They grab her as she squeals to be let go.


Commercials

This feels like the longest episode ever.

Kelly's al Fresco: Why are Looloo and Johnny obsessed with this location? She says he didn't have to take her to dinner at Metrocourt b/c just like it's the only hotel, and only place to have an office, and only place to buy clothes, it's apparently also the only fancy place to eat in town. Loo suggests that Johnny quit taking money from his family. and I suppose he's supposed to make enough money to live by working 3 shifts a year at a diner that just burned down?

Olivia's room: Sonny and Olivia bicker, but Kate shows up and eaveslurks and realizes that their banter is really foreplay.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason instructs Cody on Wardom. Liz shows up, dressed all in white like a little adorable snow angel. She could be put on top of a Christmas tree she looks so sweet and pretty. She stares at Jason curiously. I guess people in this town are either guided by their heads or the laps. and somehow their hearts stop any communication between the two?

Spooky Steps: Spinelli happens upon the place of Georgie's murder and sees a figure lying there. For a second, I think he thinks he's just having a horrible memory of Georgie's death. But then he realizes it is a real person,a nd then he realizes it's Maxie. He stands frozen, and has to force himself to call out her name. Then he runs to her and clutches her lifeless body to his.

those are some bad bottles of vodka to hurt Fair Maxie!

The end.