GH Recap 11/17: Baby Come Back

Metrocourt: Carly meets Jax. She says she's done with the divorce papers and rips them in half. Then she makes this annoying, smug face and stares at him. She needs to blot her lipstick.

Kelly's al Fresco: Loo and Johnny make out in front of Kelly's b/c they don't really ever have anything else better to do. Claud walks up to yell at them that if she's miserable, he needs to be too. Or, you could just go get it on with hot ass Ric, but whatever, grumpy pants.

Sams' Apartment: Sam and Liz continue to drink coffee late at night and giggle and gossip about boys. Maxie says Jason is a stud and thinks there is still something there. Sam just laughs and says "stoooppp" in that way that doesn't really answer the question. Stolichnaya and Belvedere are still outside Sam's apartment and armed.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Oliva continues to pound on a door that is clearly locked instead of finding another exit. Sonny helps the barista out, and he tells Sonny he thinks a woman is trapped inside. Sonny enters the cafe as Olivia, in Jason's office, collapses.

Credits

Nurse's Station: Liz gets back to work, telling Piph that she met with Jason about A Situation. then Liz beams when she sees Patrick wheeling Robin and the wee baby Emma home. He's cutely saddled like Shirpa with baby bags. Piph and Liz have dopey smiles on their faces, that are impossible not to happen when a baby that teeny is within 12 miles. The elevator opens, and Patrick has a moment of panic, worrying that the elevator might get stuck. Robin says they are going to be great, and then gives this funny little "I hope!" Heh, it is weird when they hand you a baby and just send you off into the world "good luck with that! It's entire future depends on you!"

Metrocourt: Carly and Jax have already had this fight, so why are we watching it again? She tells him not to walk away from her kids and from "us". She says she said she was sorry, but she's acting like she's sorry that she forgot about missing dinner or forgetting their anniversary. She angrily says she didn't mean to hurt him. He sadly says she never means to hurt him. Diane walks by, anxious to get to a shoe sale in The Boutique. This nonsense that The Boutique is the only place in town you can buy nice clothes is so weird to me. Diane says she should get 20% off anything in The Boutique if she stands here and helps them. Diane angrily tells Jax that he is so lucky that Carly even speaks to him b/c he's been a disastrous husband in every way. Carly is very smug about this.

Sam's Apartment: Sam tells Maxie how she enjoyed the rush of escaping the ship, and she felt alive when she hit the water, and when she saw Jason was alright, she was glad they pulled it off. Maxie insists that Sam is as hooked on Jason as she is on the adventure. The door knob turns. They are still for a moment, but it turns out to be Lucky. Poor Maxie's face tries not to bleed awkward all over the place as she watches her best friend embrace the man she once loved enough to fake a pregnancy for. I've yet to meet the man I love that much. I hope I never do! Lucky tells Maxie they faked the break up.

Kelly's al Fresco: Claud and John yell at each other about The Danger and The Marriage. Looloo scoffs and says there is no way Claud is marrying sonny. Claud talks to John like Loo isn't there and asks him to explain it to her.

Wheatgrass Cafe: It's too bad there are all those little plants on the tables because I think it made the fire much stronger. Sonny, of course, manages to get Olivia out of the building b/c for some reason Jason's office locks people in the office but not out of the office. Mobsters are weird. Jason, of course, shows up just as Sonny pulls Olivia out. I love that Liz called Jason's building being on fire as "a situation came up." Shouldn't she be alerting the ER that there may be incoming patients?

Commercials

Michael Corinthos Memorial Park: Nadine runs into Nik and blathers that there are worse criminals than him, and he shouldn't be deported. Nik says she lost him. She says, don't worry about it, and yes, I'll marry you. Heh. She's all helpful about it.

Metrocourt: Diane assumes that Jax has been absent physically and otherwise for almost as many days as he's been present since they got married. She says it must be easier to blame Carly for everything than take some responsibility. Jax points out that Carly just said she slept with Sonny earlier. Diane points out that Jax and Carly aren't living together anymore. She says Carly is a saint for wanting to contest the divorce. Carly looks like she's about to make out with Diane. They scurry off together to go on a shopping spree at The Boutique. I imagine The Boutique as being four entire floors of the hotel.

Kelly's al Fresco: Claud tells Looloo that Johnny will make the same sacrifices she does, if he needs to. She says marrying Sonny is just business. Looloo says she doesn't have to listen to this, so she stomps off, with Johnny at her heels. Claud calls out that he's like a puppy dog.

Sam's Apartment: Maxie says she's glad they are together, but she wants to get the heck out of there. Sam thanks her for girl talk time. Maxie admits to Lucky that she and Liz fought, and his name came up. Lucky says it's all in the past. Maxie continues to stutter awkwardly but says she really does hope they find happiness. She skeedaddles, with Stolichnaya close at her heels. Luckys asks what that was about. Sam says Maxie has a hard time adjusting to the fact that she's actually a good person. Lucky gets a call and has to leave.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Olivia gets wheeled away. Sonny says to Jason "we have to get The Revenge." Jason angrily retorts "what, you got a frog in your pocket?" No, really he just says "no, not we."

Commercials

Scrubscar: Robin sits in the backseat with Emma. Patrick is very concerned that they didn't buckler her in properly. Apparently Patrick went and bought a mini van when he wasn't sitting by her bedside. He's driving about 10 miles an hour in a 30 zone. Robin teases him and says it's good he's being safe, but they'd like to get home today.

Michael Corinthos Memorial Park: Nik sputters that he appreciates the offer, but he has a team of lawyers, and is sure they'll come up with something. Nadine says it's no problem, and it's the least she can do. She rushes off to take care of wedding details. Wow, I don't know how I could care less about how this turns out.

Metrocourt: Carly and Jax fight some more, but I can't bear to care. Kate shows up to angrily says she and Sonny broke up for good "so Sonny's all yours" Carly has the nerve to look confused by this.

GH: Liz talks to Olivia. She asks where the fire was. Um, hello, Liz, you know the answer to this. Olivia says it was at Jason's office and Jason was there and helped Sonny pull her out of the fire. For some reason Liz stares into the distance like this is in some way surprising to her. Did she think Jason was lying when he said "I think my office is on fire"?

Wheatgrass Cafe: Sonny stutterbarks that Krapov chained him and threw him into 8 feet deep of harbor water. Jason says the only way he can protect his people is to distance himself from Sonny.

Commercials

Scorpio-Drake Home: Patrick has a hard time finding a key. Why wouldn't it be with the car key? They get settled in. She says she's still sore from the c-section, so he has to d a lot of the heavy lifting for awhile. robin says Emma needs to be changed. Har dee har har, poopy diapers are funny.

Metrocourt: Kate bitterly says that Carly did what she set out to do. Carly acts like she is confused. So aggravating. Kate says that Carly is always at the right time and place when Sonny needs her. She says she's no match for Hurricane Carly. Carly obnoxiously says it's typical that Kate would blame someone else for her failings. Kate gets a call from Piph that Olivia has been admitted for smoke inhalation. Kate tells Jax and then rushes off. Carly and her poofy curls yells at Jax that Kate is pathetic for blaming her. Jax says he agrees with Kate.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason yells at Sonny that he'll clean up the mess, but Sonny needs to stay out of the way. Lucky and Spinelli show up and ask what happned. Sonny, in his usualy stilted way, tells that he showed up and saw men tearing the place up with baseball bats, and he saved a woman. Lucky asks if he knows who started it. Sonny says he doesn't know, but he assumes they were after Jason. Then he walks away, all sad and dejected (and pointless and annoying).

Commercials

This episode is pretty nap inducing.

Scorpio-Drake Home: Robin and Patrick silently celebrate after Emma falls asleep. I think she's sleeping in that closet. Patrick says he used to be too arrogant to count his blessings, but he's going to change that. Her being here is a miracle to him. They start to kiss, but wee Emma starts to cry.

Metrocourt: I cannot bear one more second of Jax and Carly bickering about their failed relationship. She's even wearing a purple dress of the shade my bridesmaids wore, and still I find no joy or mirth from this scene.

Nurse's Station: Shawn Douglas brings Liz Olivia's file and says she can go home tomorrow. Liz gossipingly asks if Shawn knows how Olivia got caught in the fire. Sonny shows up to mumble something about Olivia. Both Shawn D and Liz seem to have no worries about medical ethics and happily tell a non family member all about Olivia's prognosis and whereabouts. Liz is still on duty, but that means about as much to her as Sonny means to me, so she packs up her stuff, even though Piph is watching, so she can rush off to "run errands"

Olivia's Room: Sonny expects gratitude from Olivia for saving her. She reasonably points out that she only needed saving b/c she got caught in the mob war crossfire that he started.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason asks Spinelli to go and ask Laptop to figure out every scrap of information about all Russians that might be in the country. and fast! Jason then half whsispers to Cody "and now we take the Russians OUT"

Snowy Park: I think this is the place where Georgie was killed. How spooky if it is. Maxie suddenly notices that Stolichnaya and Smirnoff are following her. They grab her as she squeals to be let go.


Commercials

This feels like the longest episode ever.

Kelly's al Fresco: Why are Looloo and Johnny obsessed with this location? She says he didn't have to take her to dinner at Metrocourt b/c just like it's the only hotel, and only place to have an office, and only place to buy clothes, it's apparently also the only fancy place to eat in town. Loo suggests that Johnny quit taking money from his family. and I suppose he's supposed to make enough money to live by working 3 shifts a year at a diner that just burned down?

Olivia's room: Sonny and Olivia bicker, but Kate shows up and eaveslurks and realizes that their banter is really foreplay.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Jason instructs Cody on Wardom. Liz shows up, dressed all in white like a little adorable snow angel. She could be put on top of a Christmas tree she looks so sweet and pretty. She stares at Jason curiously. I guess people in this town are either guided by their heads or the laps. and somehow their hearts stop any communication between the two?

Spooky Steps: Spinelli happens upon the place of Georgie's murder and sees a figure lying there. For a second, I think he thinks he's just having a horrible memory of Georgie's death. But then he realizes it is a real person,a nd then he realizes it's Maxie. He stands frozen, and has to force himself to call out her name. Then he runs to her and clutches her lifeless body to his.

those are some bad bottles of vodka to hurt Fair Maxie!

The end.