GH Recap 11/13: Excuse me miss, you dropped your scarf

I really can't say enough nice things about the conversation Laura and Tracy had yesterday. Rarely do the writers see the characters that clearly and let them be that honest about themselves and their strengths and failings. Why can't they do three scenes like that a week with various characters?

I also love that Jason doesn't own a clothes dryer and Sam had to hang her clothes in front of the fire. I only wish that Sam had been wearing a scarf and could leave it behind for Liz to find. Don't get me wrong, the Jason and Sam ship has sailed, and I frankly hope Liz and Jason end up together, but I can't say I don't like it when Liz squirms a little.

on with the show...

(BTW, as far as I can tell from the 5-10 minutes of OLTL I watch before GH, that is the best soap around these days)

Jason's Apartment: Sam stands there in Spinelli's sweats, rolled up 15 times to fit her wee frame, while her clothes hang by the fire. Sam offers "this is not what it looks like" but that sentence? Is the sentence you never want to hear when it's true OR a lie. Liz, for incredibly badass part in all of this? She does this. She keeps her feet planted and turns her face towards Sam, and she puts on angelface, but what she does that makes me love her is lift a bitchindexfinger at Sam. omg. It is so The Best. And I love Sam. But that bitchfinger, just made me a Liz fan, even though I think she's being kind of pathetic right now. She just says "I"m talking to Jason." then she turns back to Jason and says "you broke up with her a year ago, yet here she is by the fire, and I can barely get through the door." Yes, Liz. GO FIND A GOOD BOYFRIEND. Where is hotty Ric and his towel?

other stuff happens, but none of it matches that, so I'll catch up after credits.

Credits


More...

Kelly's: Mike dotes over that other little kid, who's name I had honestly forgotten until Mike mentions it. Mercedesleticia and Mike discuss that Morgan doesn't know about Sonny's latest murder rap. I love that Mercedes seems to sort of hate Mike. That is so random. He seems like a nice grandpa, but Mercedes HATES him. Weird.

Kelly's Al Fresco: Lucky and Nik sit at an empty table and talk about their mom. Lucky says Laura wanted them to all be honest. He says he told Laura something about Jakeson that he now realizes he needs to tell Nik, because Nik is the last person in five counties tht doesn't know. Lucky spills that Jakeson is really Jason's biological son. Lucky also hilariously adds that neither he nor jason knew for awhile. Ah, Liez, I sort of miss your insane web of lies. Nik says he can't even begin to understand how hard this has been. Lucky says he's lucky b/c he gets to be dad to two great kids, and keep them safe.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason and Sam make up this hilarious lie that she was investigating drugs and kidnapped Sam twice. Liz says this is the stupidest thing she ever heard. Except...they live in Port Charles, so hilariously Liz totally believes them right away. and it's fine that she does. b/c it's all true, but it's hilarious that this doesn't take them each doing a lie detector. She's just like "oh, man, yeah, it sucks to get kidnapped 8 times" because Liz? Has been kidnapped more times than Daphne. The bummer is that Liz is forced to remember the real reason that she's not sitting by Jason's fire and that reason is: The Danger. Aw, I'm sorry I made fun of you now, Liz. But seriously...find a better boyfriend! (not saying hotter, just better)

Docks: Jax yells at Carly that she picks Sonny. Asked and answered, y'all.

PCPD parking lot: Sonny and Sasha yell at each other about The Revenge. For some bizarre reason Sonny insists that Krapov shot Kate. omg. So The Danger is apparently really The Cockroach because now that krapov is dead, apparently 25 more new creepy dudes in bad suits with bad accents sprouted up. Sascha tells Sonny as much.

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Docks: I canNOT deal with Carly acting like Jactslikeawoman is the one giving up on them. Like Jax is the one who sees things in black and white and not her. Like he can trust her b/c she SAYS he can trust her WHEN SHE JUST LIED for Sonny. Laura Wright is such a good actress, and she unabashedly plays this scene, but I still wish Jax would throw her into the 8 foot deep harbor.

Kelly's al fresco: Mike rushes to Sonny to hug him, but Sonny stops him b/c he has this super scary wound that would kill ANY of us who aren't as tough and awesome as him. Sonny is in sooooo much pain, you can tell b/c he breathes heavily and refuses antibiotics. Sonny confesses he killed Krapov. He says he went to Carly for an alibi. Which? good point, show, why couldn't Sonny have gone to Kate or Mike or Jason even? Spinelli or Sam would have given him an alibi, for that matter. Shut up, Show.

Jason's Penthouse: Can I just say that I sort of love and hate Liz's weird green sweater with the confusingly sized buttons. Why do some of them need to be huge and some normal sized and some small? Yet, I still like it, even though it baffles me. I think this sweater is a metaphor. I'm only half kidding. Liz angrily tells sam she's glad Sam is okay and Jerry was stopped, but she doesn't get why Sam couldn't ask Lucky for help (omg, like YOU do, honey? Even when you were happily married, YOU still went to Jason. It's like asking Lois Lane: "Um, Jimmy Olson was available, why go to Superman when you're in need?) Then she angrily turns to Jason to ask why he's helping. But sam interrupts to say it was a random thing that Clark Kent happened by. Liz angrily asks why she's here and Sam rightly asnwers b/c his home was closer, and it just made more sense. Sam puts on her shoes and says that clearly they have a lot to talk about. Jason hilariously asks if she needs money for a cab, and Sam says she indeed does not. She'll walk to San fran if she needs to. She storms out. Liz wonders if Jason would have told her that he'd saved Sam if she hadn't "walked in" It bothers him that her that he didn't trust her.

Lizzie-cakes, you have fallen in love with Clark Kent. he doesn't always have time to run his Superjase activities by you. and also, he kills people for a living. If you were my best friend, I'd hire a cult to brain wash you, is what I'm saying.

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Nurse's Station: Nik vomitously goes to visit Gidget at work. Who does that, by the way? Just drops by someone's work to bother them? He tells her that laura weirdly left everyone she loves to go to France on the off chance that this will give her more time to spend time with everyone she loves. OY. I totally forgot about the immigration nonsense. I hope Nadine has a pretty white dress. I hope she doesn't get murdered while wearing it like Emily did. Nadine, way to make me miss Emily. She was way more fun to hate.

Sam's apartment: Lucky yells at Sam for being worried about her, she rightly and equally angry asks if he thinks she jumped bail and skipped town. yeah, it DOES suck when your ex-boyfriend is Spiderman and your current boyfriend is barely Peter Parker's ...I can't even think of a thing that is insulting to Lucky without also being insulting to that category. Like, I can't say "barely Peter Parker's gym teacher without insulting gym teacher's.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason and Liz bicker. Jason says it's dangerous for her to know about his work. Liz says "not for Sam" Jason says Liz is the mother of his child. She asks how she's supposed to feel when she sees Sam cozy in his living room. Jason hilariously says "I saved Sam just like I save everyone else." ha! sooooo silly that a person is aware that he "saves everyone" Liz lets this register and tells Liz that she and Lucky told Laura that Jason is jakeson's father. Liz says she's thought about all her liez and says she wants to live her life honestly, no matter what the consequences. Jason asks her to clarify. She says "I love you, and I need to feel it and express it, and seeing you on the side is killing me, and I don't want to do this anymore!"

Kate's Boring Beige House: Kate is boringly home. Maxie, however, is awesomely at Kate's house. It confuses me to watch them in scenes. It's like watching Season 1 of Heroes and this season of Heroes at the same time. Jax visits, so Maxie leaves, so everything is easier to take. It's now only like watching this season of Heroes. He breaks the news that Carly and sonny slept together. FOR EFFING REAL? SONNY HAS NOT BOTHERED TO CALL KATE AND EXPLAIN YET? I hope Sonny visits Texas and is attacked by armadillos and gets leprosy. In fact? that is how he is dead to me now.

Kelly's al fresco: Sonny embarassingly ONCE AGAIN repeats his grossness from yesterday and asks Carly to stay away from him. omg. I cannot stop laughing in my head about what a LOSER he is. Carly's head just about explodes with the insulting frustration this causes. Sonny proves that he maybe has a severe brain disease. Like? Sonny may have syphillis and honest to God need medication b/c he tells her that she always loses it when it comes to him and destroys her life by being with him. She tells him she's rather crawl through broken glass. She tells him the next time he needs her, he can come to her, and she will tell him exactly where he can shove it. omg. That was so at once unsatisfying and satisfying. Sonny, of course, just nods, all sad that poor Carly is totally in love with him and will be tyring to get him into bed. Sonny is like the guy on Dancing With the Stars that doesn't know he's getting the pity vote and shows up at LA hotspots (that can't even be called hotspots b/c that's only a word a dork like me would use) and thinks the 20 years olds are going to want him.

Commercials

Nurse's Station: Nik and Gidget speak.

Sam's Apartment: Lucky has confirmed that Jerry's ship blew up. Sam is sure Jerry is dead b/c he was still in the cabin when the boat blew up. Lucky says Sam could have died. She says she didn't, and neither did Laura. "we're okay" Lucky asks "are we?"

Jason's Penthouse: Jason insists that keeping Jakeson's paternity a secret is the best way to keep them secret. Liz crazily says that she doesn't think that's true b/c Michael and Kate were shot b/c of Sonny. Jason interrupts and says he wants Jakeson to have a normal life. Liz says that they've talked about how angry (and awesome) will be when Jakeson grows up and bitterly hates all the adults in his life for lying. That lovely song starts playing about living out the truth in our hearts. I love that stupid song. Jason says he doesn't know. Liz makes it simple "Do you want me or not?" Jason can only answer yes, and so they kiss as that lady sings about loving while it's ours to keep.

Kate's Boring House: Sonny brings blood red lilies to Kate. Gee, subconscious pangs much, there Sonnster? Sonny says he was arrested. Sonny grunts that he had an alibi. Kate angrily says "yeah, that you had sex alnight?" Sonny bizarrely is angry at Jax for telling her. Kate remembers where she packed her spine and doesn't let him explain (like he should have done THE SECOND Carly said they had sex) and says they are through. But now I realize this makes me sad b/c this means that poor Olivia is about to be sacrificed.

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Nurse's Station: Gidget asks Layla what she would do if she was deported. Layla shrugs and says "pack up and leave, I guess" b/c there aren't other options, and she won't marry a citizen just to stay. Gidget rambles about pickles and flies and apple pies, or some such fuchwaddery and says that Nik was clearly trying to hint to her that he wanted to get married. Um, Nadine is a crazy, insane stalker, y'all. Do not leave your kids alone with her.

Sam's Apartment: Sam says that she loves him and wants to be with him. Lucky says this has been hard for him (well, so is the little game where you stack the hoops on the pole from biggest to smallest, Lucky) But he wants to be with her.

Jason's Penthouse: Liz and Jason giddily admit that what they want is to be together as a family. They sit on the sofa. Jason wants to take it one step at at time. Liz says she can be patient as long as she knows where they are heading. She's gonna pick up the kids from daycare and asks him to meet her at home. "you can see the kids before bed, and I can make you dinner, and we can have a glass of wine, and we can hold each other, and it can be just like at the Sexhouse, only this time it will be our house" ah, Liz, have you learned nothing? NEVER DESCRIBE THE PERFECT DAY THAT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. Jason looks at her with bright, beautiful, joyous eyes. but Irony and Fate just sit around and giggle and sic the Happy Ending Nazi on their arses.

Docks: Jax overhears Carly remembering that she has a son.

Kate's Boring House: Kate says she's mad it took her so long to realize that Sonny and Carly are perfect. Sonny says he loves Kate, not Carly. Kate comes back from the dead a bit and GROWLS (in a good way) that she comes second. Her voice actually gurgles with rage, as she says this. She bellows at him to get out of her house. He asks if she knows what she's doing. yes, sonny, she is having a VERY reasonable reaction to your nonsense. and she's being much cooler about it than you would. he leaves, and they both are sad. blech.

Commercials

Jason's Penthouse: Jason hops, skips and jumps down the steps in joy. He starts to gather Sam's stuff, but Cody the Vampire shows up. Jason lets him in and giddily says "come in, but make it quick. I have somewhere to beeee" and he's so cutely happy about it. Cody says "cancel it" and says Sonny was released and The Danger has now basically become The Dangerer.

Liz's Manse: Liz hops, skips and jumps and sets a table for a romantic dinner. the phone rings. It's Jason. He says he can't make it. She bitterly says "but you said you'd be here." He breathlessly apologizes that something came up. She hangs up and then throws the phone and stands there, hating her life.

Kelly's: goons with baseball bats break in and start wreaking havoc. Maxie of the Best happens by and sees this and starts making phone calls before she runs off.

Sonny gets a call.

It's Sascha. She stands in front of a goon, who stands in front of General Hospital Past, and there is a glowing light of a dastardly fire coming from the belly of Kelly's. I don't even want to discuss how uncool that is. Sascha purrs "the end? has started"

Hey, writers, so you can take your plot about burning down Kelly's, and you can cram it sideways.

the end.