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Tuesday, February 17, 2009
OLTL Recap 2/17: About Last Night
Gatehouse: Stacy wakes up on the floor next to some dude and screams up to Gigi and Rex not to come downstairs.
Buchansion: Nora waks up in a red camisole, with the 3 of spades stuck to her forehead. heh. She realizes she's cuddled up on the sofa in Bo's arms and asks how this happened. Clint grumplily repeats that from the doorway.
Roxie's motel: David and Dorian wake up on the coffe table. Dorian demands "zip me!" He does and asks if they.... We see two empty bottles of champagne and Dorian says "share a blisfful evening? yes we did."
Another Bed: Blair wakes up muttering John's name, but it's Todd, looking like the cat who ate the canary.
Yet another bed: Marty wakes up and mutters "what did I do last night?"
Stairwell: John saunters up some stairs.
Marty's bed: Marty notices her sleeve is covered in blood. She begins to call Wes's name, and realizes he's in bed with her, witha knife in his chest. She falls out of the bed while screaming, while John calls to her from the other side of the door.
Credits
One of the 85 bars in town: Talia and her friend whose name I can't remember gossip about that guy named Fish. She says he's growing on her.
Gatehouse: Stacy tries to cover her lover, but she just tosses a blanket and a couch cushion on him. Luckily, Gigi and Rex are the worst Private Eye's ever, so they don't notice. They go to get breakfast, while stacy tosses Floor Guy out the door. It's nice that everyone is so devoted to Go Red's cause, that they all bought red lingerie!
Buchansion: Clint asks Nora and Bo if they remember what happened last night. Bo stands up and holds his head and says he doesn't. Nora says she recalls raiding Bo's wine cellar. Nigel saunters in with a tray of hangover cures and apologizes that he's only working at half power. Nora points to a disgusting looking glass, and he says "it's Mum's hangover cure: banana shake with Worcechester sauce" Nora stifles a gag. Renee saunters in and begs for a banana shake with Worcechester sauce. oh, heavens. Nora laments that David is Asa's son.
Roxie's Motel: David and Dorian poke at their heads. He asks if he's really Asa's son. He recalls that she walked out on him last night. She says she wanted him to take the journey on his own and divorce her or embrace her. David says she married him for the wrong reasons, but she apologized and said she was vindictive and mean. Dorian says she wanted to stick it to Clint, but he had to make the decision of what to do with his fortune. David remembers opening the door to call Dorian back in and kiss her. In the present, Doran says they'll have everyting now. david looks at the bacchnalian display of food and wine and says "it kind of looks liek we already have."
Todd's Place: Blair remains in bed, very gray and confused. Todd gets up chipperly and opens the shades. He tells Blair that she got drunk and froze John out, so he left. (we see this in flashback) Blair says it's not a joke and asks how she got here. Todd says "a couple of more drinks" (flashback. Blair sucks down another drink and licks her fingers. heh. Todd offers her a ride, but then he toddishly leaves. She chases after him for the ride, but has to take off her shoes.) Blair gets annoyed and asks how she ended up in is bed (she's still wearing her gown, so I doubt there was hanky panky)
Marty's room: (or Wes's Room) john breaks in, sees Dead Wes and asks a very frantic Marty what happened.
Commercials
Marty's room: John helpfully tells Marty that Wes is dead. Marty is a mess and says she doesn't know what happened, she just woke up and it was like this. John is perturbed for some reason, but he finally softens and asks her to tell him what happened. She remembers drunkenly stumbling into the room. Wes was angry and says he's not her friend. She used him and dragged him to the ball, and then he got smacked. In the present Marty says Wes was really angry, and Wes said he remembered seeing Lee the night she was killed. She remembers his saying he hated Lee for what she did to his family, and that Marty told him about the safe house. She remembers asking if he killed her, and Wes asking how she could know that. In the present, Marty doesn't seem to have told John these things, but he seems concerned.
Todd's Place: Blair is not in her gown, but she just happens to have a red slip in her purse? or she was wearing that under her gown? She recalls Todd crawling into bed to pass out, and Blair stumbling about looking for the bathroom. She slurs about how his suite is girly, and that she recognizes it. lol, Cassie DiPaiva might be a hoot as a drunk if this is how she behaves. She slurs that this is where Tea sleeps, and then she starts to yell at him, but then she trips and falls into bed, and immediately passed out.
Buchansion: flashback Clint, Nora, Renee, Bo and Nigel sit on the floor and play poker and listen to bad rock. Bo gets disgusted with his hand and heads out to the barn to say his good byes. Nigel hands him a bottle of whiskey for the road. Nora giggles that she's going to have to fold b/c she's out of chips, and Nigel suggests strip poker. oh dears. In the present Nora and Nigel beg that they didn't, but Renee is still half drunk and laughs that they just kept playing and playing. Flashback. Nigel wears sock garters. that rules. Renee gets a king high flush, so Nigel and Clint have to strip. Off go the sock garters! In the present, Renee says she Nora passed out on the floor, and Renee couldn't get her to bed. Flashback. Bo stumbles into the house and strips his way to the couch and passes out. Nora crawls up off the floor and stands, she walks to her room, but then passes out on top of Bo, with the 3 of spades in her hand. in the present Nora asks "what's a little lost dignity among relatives" fair enough.
PalaceHotell: Dorian says they ordered everything. This must not actually be Roxie's and is really the Palace or someplace. She says none of this would have happened if he hadn't forgiven her. David holds his robes and contemplates. He says he's going to miss his morning 'saut taut taaaa" He says he found comfort in peace and wonders if he's ready to give it up. He pauses a beat and says yeahabsolutelywhoneedspeacewhenyagotallthatBuchanonmoney?" then he grabs her in a tickling embrace while she squeals.
Commercials
So, basically the Go Red ball is trying to make cancer not kill as many people by making LIVER DISEASE kill MORE people?
Gatehouse: Stacy and Gigi blah blah
Bar: Oh, the guy Stacy slept with is the guy Talia's friend likes? Talia cutely makes herself scarce, but Stacy Floor Guy tells Taliafriend that he can't see her anymore.
Todd's Place: Todd says Blair owes him a thank you for keeping her out a ditch. She refuses to thank him. He says that John was way more into Marty than Blair last night. Blair refuses to be annoyed and points out that Marty was all over Wes. Todd says it's over between him and Marty. Blair doesn't buy it. She says if looks could kill, Wes would be dead.
See what they ddi there? we totally just cut to Wes's dead body. Marty tries to remember what happened after the fight. She only recalls being drunk and wanting to lay down. She recalls wondering if maybe Wes did kill Lee, and she recalls thinking she was the only witness who could put Todd away. She collapses a bit at the weight of it all and begins to mutter in a whispery way wondering if she could have gone crazy and killed Wes. John, as usual, stands around like he's waiting for people to quit talking about something he considers beneath him.
Commercials
marty's room: Marty laments that she could have killed someone b/c she tried to kill Todd, and John doesn't know.
Palace Hotel: Dorian has called up a series of personal tailors and shoppers to outfit her and David in the style to which they want to become accustomed. David yells at the tailor "silk? I want cashmere!" Then he tosses some ties to the floor one at a time "too wide! too senatorial! too inexpensive!" and then he holds one up in disgust and says "paisley?" Tailor lady asks Dorian if this goes on the charge card,a nd Dorian dreamily says "no, my husband will be paying." then she tells him to open a box, and he pulls out a black cowboy hat. Dorian drawls that his pa would be so proud. Indeed.
Commercials:
Gatehouse: Gigi tortures herself by looking at old photos. Apparently she used to have a mullet. She says it's odd that she was just talking about finding them. Yes, it IS odd how people in soaps bring up people or things that never mattered, only to have a HUGE development in that regard pop out of NOWHERE.
So whoever the hell Stacy is recalls hooking up with whoever the hell the guy is she hooked up with. He thinks he met the love of his life, and she thinks he's totally gross. I can't wait to continue to not care whatsoever!
Buchansion: Renee dreamily says she could invite David to dinner and get the cook to poison him. heh. The doorbell sounds, and they all steel themselves to finally get the heck out of Asa's house. Finally!
Marty's Room: Or is this John's room? Blair saunters by with bagels or whatever and peaks into the room with bloody Marty, dead Wes and annoying John and hears Marty begging him not to call the police.
Commercials
Bar: Fish says Layla is great and will find someone wonderful (he's just told her he met someone else) Talia rushes in with a package for Fish, and he leaves. Layla says Fish just dumped her. (and she is right to look annoyed b/c she's way out of his league)
Gatehouse: Rex feels all stupid and optimistic that it's a good thing Stacy and Gigi have found each other again. Rex and Gigi are remarkably stupid people.
Buchansion: Nigel announces "Mr. and Mrs. Vickers" They enter hilariously dressed in black from head to toe and Dorian smiles "It's Mr. and Mrs. Buchanon now." David seems to be wearing mink. How Buddhist-y of him! Bo goes around the room to compliment everyone. Bo suspiciously asks where he's going with all this. David says "you're family and should know what you mean to me." They all stare at him, and then he laughs "and now that you do....get the hell out of my house." hahahahaha!
Dead Wes Room: Blair snottily calls the police to report a murder. Um, Marty you can look like you swallowed a lemon all you want, but what did you think would happen if you stole Blair's boyfriend? (love ya Marty!)
the end
Buchansion: Nora waks up in a red camisole, with the 3 of spades stuck to her forehead. heh. She realizes she's cuddled up on the sofa in Bo's arms and asks how this happened. Clint grumplily repeats that from the doorway.
Roxie's motel: David and Dorian wake up on the coffe table. Dorian demands "zip me!" He does and asks if they.... We see two empty bottles of champagne and Dorian says "share a blisfful evening? yes we did."
Another Bed: Blair wakes up muttering John's name, but it's Todd, looking like the cat who ate the canary.
Yet another bed: Marty wakes up and mutters "what did I do last night?"
Stairwell: John saunters up some stairs.
Marty's bed: Marty notices her sleeve is covered in blood. She begins to call Wes's name, and realizes he's in bed with her, witha knife in his chest. She falls out of the bed while screaming, while John calls to her from the other side of the door.
Credits
One of the 85 bars in town: Talia and her friend whose name I can't remember gossip about that guy named Fish. She says he's growing on her.
Gatehouse: Stacy tries to cover her lover, but she just tosses a blanket and a couch cushion on him. Luckily, Gigi and Rex are the worst Private Eye's ever, so they don't notice. They go to get breakfast, while stacy tosses Floor Guy out the door. It's nice that everyone is so devoted to Go Red's cause, that they all bought red lingerie!
Buchansion: Clint asks Nora and Bo if they remember what happened last night. Bo stands up and holds his head and says he doesn't. Nora says she recalls raiding Bo's wine cellar. Nigel saunters in with a tray of hangover cures and apologizes that he's only working at half power. Nora points to a disgusting looking glass, and he says "it's Mum's hangover cure: banana shake with Worcechester sauce" Nora stifles a gag. Renee saunters in and begs for a banana shake with Worcechester sauce. oh, heavens. Nora laments that David is Asa's son.
Roxie's Motel: David and Dorian poke at their heads. He asks if he's really Asa's son. He recalls that she walked out on him last night. She says she wanted him to take the journey on his own and divorce her or embrace her. David says she married him for the wrong reasons, but she apologized and said she was vindictive and mean. Dorian says she wanted to stick it to Clint, but he had to make the decision of what to do with his fortune. David remembers opening the door to call Dorian back in and kiss her. In the present, Doran says they'll have everyting now. david looks at the bacchnalian display of food and wine and says "it kind of looks liek we already have."
Todd's Place: Blair remains in bed, very gray and confused. Todd gets up chipperly and opens the shades. He tells Blair that she got drunk and froze John out, so he left. (we see this in flashback) Blair says it's not a joke and asks how she got here. Todd says "a couple of more drinks" (flashback. Blair sucks down another drink and licks her fingers. heh. Todd offers her a ride, but then he toddishly leaves. She chases after him for the ride, but has to take off her shoes.) Blair gets annoyed and asks how she ended up in is bed (she's still wearing her gown, so I doubt there was hanky panky)
Marty's room: (or Wes's Room) john breaks in, sees Dead Wes and asks a very frantic Marty what happened.
Commercials
Marty's room: John helpfully tells Marty that Wes is dead. Marty is a mess and says she doesn't know what happened, she just woke up and it was like this. John is perturbed for some reason, but he finally softens and asks her to tell him what happened. She remembers drunkenly stumbling into the room. Wes was angry and says he's not her friend. She used him and dragged him to the ball, and then he got smacked. In the present Marty says Wes was really angry, and Wes said he remembered seeing Lee the night she was killed. She remembers his saying he hated Lee for what she did to his family, and that Marty told him about the safe house. She remembers asking if he killed her, and Wes asking how she could know that. In the present, Marty doesn't seem to have told John these things, but he seems concerned.
Todd's Place: Blair is not in her gown, but she just happens to have a red slip in her purse? or she was wearing that under her gown? She recalls Todd crawling into bed to pass out, and Blair stumbling about looking for the bathroom. She slurs about how his suite is girly, and that she recognizes it. lol, Cassie DiPaiva might be a hoot as a drunk if this is how she behaves. She slurs that this is where Tea sleeps, and then she starts to yell at him, but then she trips and falls into bed, and immediately passed out.
Buchansion: flashback Clint, Nora, Renee, Bo and Nigel sit on the floor and play poker and listen to bad rock. Bo gets disgusted with his hand and heads out to the barn to say his good byes. Nigel hands him a bottle of whiskey for the road. Nora giggles that she's going to have to fold b/c she's out of chips, and Nigel suggests strip poker. oh dears. In the present Nora and Nigel beg that they didn't, but Renee is still half drunk and laughs that they just kept playing and playing. Flashback. Nigel wears sock garters. that rules. Renee gets a king high flush, so Nigel and Clint have to strip. Off go the sock garters! In the present, Renee says she Nora passed out on the floor, and Renee couldn't get her to bed. Flashback. Bo stumbles into the house and strips his way to the couch and passes out. Nora crawls up off the floor and stands, she walks to her room, but then passes out on top of Bo, with the 3 of spades in her hand. in the present Nora asks "what's a little lost dignity among relatives" fair enough.
PalaceHotell: Dorian says they ordered everything. This must not actually be Roxie's and is really the Palace or someplace. She says none of this would have happened if he hadn't forgiven her. David holds his robes and contemplates. He says he's going to miss his morning 'saut taut taaaa" He says he found comfort in peace and wonders if he's ready to give it up. He pauses a beat and says yeahabsolutelywhoneedspeacewhenyagotallthatBuchanonmoney?" then he grabs her in a tickling embrace while she squeals.
Commercials
So, basically the Go Red ball is trying to make cancer not kill as many people by making LIVER DISEASE kill MORE people?
Gatehouse: Stacy and Gigi blah blah
Bar: Oh, the guy Stacy slept with is the guy Talia's friend likes? Talia cutely makes herself scarce, but Stacy Floor Guy tells Taliafriend that he can't see her anymore.
Todd's Place: Todd says Blair owes him a thank you for keeping her out a ditch. She refuses to thank him. He says that John was way more into Marty than Blair last night. Blair refuses to be annoyed and points out that Marty was all over Wes. Todd says it's over between him and Marty. Blair doesn't buy it. She says if looks could kill, Wes would be dead.
See what they ddi there? we totally just cut to Wes's dead body. Marty tries to remember what happened after the fight. She only recalls being drunk and wanting to lay down. She recalls wondering if maybe Wes did kill Lee, and she recalls thinking she was the only witness who could put Todd away. She collapses a bit at the weight of it all and begins to mutter in a whispery way wondering if she could have gone crazy and killed Wes. John, as usual, stands around like he's waiting for people to quit talking about something he considers beneath him.
Commercials
marty's room: Marty laments that she could have killed someone b/c she tried to kill Todd, and John doesn't know.
Palace Hotel: Dorian has called up a series of personal tailors and shoppers to outfit her and David in the style to which they want to become accustomed. David yells at the tailor "silk? I want cashmere!" Then he tosses some ties to the floor one at a time "too wide! too senatorial! too inexpensive!" and then he holds one up in disgust and says "paisley?" Tailor lady asks Dorian if this goes on the charge card,a nd Dorian dreamily says "no, my husband will be paying." then she tells him to open a box, and he pulls out a black cowboy hat. Dorian drawls that his pa would be so proud. Indeed.
Commercials:
Gatehouse: Gigi tortures herself by looking at old photos. Apparently she used to have a mullet. She says it's odd that she was just talking about finding them. Yes, it IS odd how people in soaps bring up people or things that never mattered, only to have a HUGE development in that regard pop out of NOWHERE.
So whoever the hell Stacy is recalls hooking up with whoever the hell the guy is she hooked up with. He thinks he met the love of his life, and she thinks he's totally gross. I can't wait to continue to not care whatsoever!
Buchansion: Renee dreamily says she could invite David to dinner and get the cook to poison him. heh. The doorbell sounds, and they all steel themselves to finally get the heck out of Asa's house. Finally!
Marty's Room: Or is this John's room? Blair saunters by with bagels or whatever and peaks into the room with bloody Marty, dead Wes and annoying John and hears Marty begging him not to call the police.
Commercials
Bar: Fish says Layla is great and will find someone wonderful (he's just told her he met someone else) Talia rushes in with a package for Fish, and he leaves. Layla says Fish just dumped her. (and she is right to look annoyed b/c she's way out of his league)
Gatehouse: Rex feels all stupid and optimistic that it's a good thing Stacy and Gigi have found each other again. Rex and Gigi are remarkably stupid people.
Buchansion: Nigel announces "Mr. and Mrs. Vickers" They enter hilariously dressed in black from head to toe and Dorian smiles "It's Mr. and Mrs. Buchanon now." David seems to be wearing mink. How Buddhist-y of him! Bo goes around the room to compliment everyone. Bo suspiciously asks where he's going with all this. David says "you're family and should know what you mean to me." They all stare at him, and then he laughs "and now that you do....get the hell out of my house." hahahahaha!
Dead Wes Room: Blair snottily calls the police to report a murder. Um, Marty you can look like you swallowed a lemon all you want, but what did you think would happen if you stole Blair's boyfriend? (love ya Marty!)
the end
Monday, February 16, 2009
GH Recap 2/16: Slow Lucky Fizz
Sloe Lucky Fizz
1 marachino cherry
6 oz club soda
2 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 slice orange
1.5 oz sloe gin
1 teaspoon powdered sugar
box of rocks
fill a mixing glass with rocks. add sloe gin, sugar and lemon juice. Shake and strain into a Collins glass filled with ice. Add club soda, cherry and orange slice. Empty your mind and enjoy.
I'm a tad behind, but luckily I love to ignore Luke and Teethan.
GH Ambulance Bay: Nadine kindly asks Chewbecca if she wants to go to Mercy. Maudevoiced Chewbecca says she only wants a warm bath. Can't really argue with that. Nik says Chewy has suffered smoke inhalation. Nadine says she might as well concede b/c Nik usually gets his way. They all get in the ambulance. Nik awkardly sits between the woman he most recently slept with, and the woman who looks most like the woman he slept with before that. Nadine offers to check Chewy's vitals.
Robin holds her Inuit baby, who is finally sleeping. Robin, for once, doesn't sound like she's reciting her dissertation to a crowd of geniuses and instead sounds like she's telling a story to a baby. It's nice.
Vaguely Burning Building: Johnny is now wandering aimlessly, looking for Maxie. He finds her shoe. Aw, how Cinderella-y!
PCPD Shack: Sonny, Kate, Olivia and Claud all reunite. Kate yammers something about Carly instead of saying "your wife shot your kid" because Kate is so lame. Kate finally starts talking in code about secrets, but Raynor comes in to take them to Mercy. How thoughtful. The FBI drops the ball, literally, but they let non plow pox victims get medical attention first.
Snowy Exterior: Jax and Carly reunite and profess their love and adoration and such. Alexis walks up and apologizes for interrupting and asks if they've heard about Sam.
Snowy Roof: Jason, as you may have tried to block out, just pulled Sam up from certain death, and caught the Plow Pox sphere without damaging it. He and Sam leave to save Spinelli.
Commercials
Mercy PD: Luke laments that his son is a cop. He wonders where he went so wrong as a father. heh.
Mercy Hospital, Monica's Room: Edward and Monica summoned Mac to tell him about Chewbecca, how she's a twin. They want to make sure Mac finds her to make sure she's safe. Mac hilariously acts like it's not that weird to find out your dead daughter has a twin. And it's really not that odd in Port Charles. If this was Pine Valley, then I'd understand the hubbub. Mac agrees to investigate. Don't these very rich people have someone they can call to at least google "Rebecca Shaw?"
GH Exterior: Alexis says they don't know where Jason, Sam or spinelli are. Carly says there's a good chance they are together, but Jason would never leave Sam or Spinelli in there. She reassures Alexis that Sam will be fine. Looloo in her tootoo run up to Carly to say she's glad she's okay. Jax hugs Alexis.
Slightly On Fire Room: Johnny calls for Maxie.
Fairly fire filled Stairwell: Jason and Sam don't do stupid things like crawl on the floor to reduce smoke inhalation. When the boogeyman has nightmares, he has nightmares about Jasam, is why. Jasam can kill two stones with one bird, is why.
PCPD Shack: The ladies have all left to be treated for a deadly toxin. So that's nice. Raynor threatens Sonny. On account of how that's always so effective. Admittedly, Peter Gallagher's eyebrows are scarier than Sonny, but that doesn't change the fact that no one ever scares, damages or causes inconvenience to Sonny, so why do they keep pretending it's ever going to happen?
Commercials
Hate-able hatey hate Jail: Luke and Teethan talk about how Luke hates his son. Teethan says he gets that he'd want his son to be a notorious outlaw. Luke says Teethan gets it.
Actually Alarmingly Fire Filled Room: Jason tosses the Plow Pox into the fire. Because he's already obviously determined that he and Sam are immune to toxins. Because Jasam doesnt' get frostbite. Jasam bites frost.
Mercy Hospital: So the beret finally comes off. In case you wanted to know, Chewbecca has slightly blond highlights. Nik is creepily hanging out in her room. I can't even imagine how something like that would happen? When the doctor comes in, Nik instructs him to give her a full battery of tests,a nd she beyond reasonably snaps that she just met him an HOUR ago, so she'll take the rest of her life from here, thank you very much. I'm still not sold on Natalia, but I can't argue with anything Rebecca is saying regarding this creepy stalker she just met.
PCPD Shack: Carly and Jax stop by for a visit. Sonny's eyes get all big and hilarious...oh, I mean...threatening, and he tells Raynor he has a wife at Mercy, so he's going there, or Raynor can arrest him. Carly watches this in surprise. I guess she figures the bathtubsexbaby is out now.
MH Claud's Room: For some reason Kate, Claud and Olivia are all in the same room. It's only a 6 on the Stupid Scale, though, and it clearly has to happen so the "Who Shot Chucky" plot can creep along at rope bridge speed. (not really sure what that means? well you know how old rope bridges exist across giant chasms? they built those by: all the ladies would wander around, plucking grasses out of the ground, and then the ladies would sit around and roll the grasses together to make long, thin ropes, and then the ladies would braid those long, thin ropes into slightly thicker ropes, and so on and so forth until you had a ton of longass ropes. and then somehow...no idea...they would get these longass ropes to span the chasm. maybe the dudes crawled down and across and back over? What I'm saying is: this takes a realllllly long time.)
Olvia leaves and Kate sits at Claud's bedside and says she knows that Claud is involved in Chucky's shooting. She won't bother to tell her cousin, who could have helped her prove this, but she will tell the one woman who has a reason to stop her from telling. Kate is really smart. Smart like a stapler, as they say!
Commercials
Who's Ya Daddy Jail: Oh, good, my monitor has decided to randomly shut on and off. That's awesome. I was really HOPING I would have to buy something new and expensive this month! Teethan accidentally quotes Hemingway. When Luke says it's impressive, Teethan says he got it off a matchbook. Luke laughs at this. I've had about a quart of gin, and I don't find it remotely funny. Hmmm, maybe I'm doing it wrong.
MH Claud's Room: Claud continues to manage a strong poker face and accuses Kate of being crazy. Kate accuses her again, and Claud says she didn't. But then she breathes funny like she's in pain. Kate has an annoying squeaky voice. I've never noticed before today. Somehow she knows that Claud planned the time and place of the shooting, and again I asks....why did Jerry Probst leave clues to find the DVD that tell the whole story....if the clues ALSO tell the whole story? What's to stop Sonny from stumbling upon a mere clue?
PCPD Shack: Natasha yells at Raynor to focus on getting the survivors out instead of bullying Sonny. Carly informs Loo that Johnny rushed into a burning building to save Maxie (this would be the same burning building he ignored for hours when it was just Looloo stuck in it. hahhahahahahahaha!)
MH Emma's Room: Robin continues to enjoy her baby and be magically cured of PPD. Mac visits and says Robin probably thought forward motion was better than waiting in a frozen car. This is true. But, Robin leaves out the treeing of her baby. But Eskimos are tough, so maybe she wasn't that horrible.
MH Monica's Room: Nik visits to give Mon and Edward a stalker update on Rebecca. Monica is worried she'll disappear, and they'll never see her again. Nik says they'll get answers when things calm down.
GH not even pretending to be on fire room: Sam wants to change Jason's bandages. The bandages are very bloody, and Sam is clearly lacking in the magical life saving bandage changing department b/c she slightly gags at the sight of the blood. I once almost fainted when my date was getting stitches. It was our first date. Long story, but he needed stitches, and I thought I'd be a cool date and hang out and entertain him while he got them. But the nurse took one look at my face as it turned green when she busted out those creepy, pointy, shiny instruments, and she told me to beat it. So I'm not mocking Sam b/c blood is icky.
Commercials
Is it Infinity Yet? Jail: Luke wants to bust out of jail.
PCPD Jail: Jax wants to take the jaxicopter back to save Sam and Jason. Yes, but how would they know to be on the roof? Oh, Alexis asks this. Jax concedes and says he just wants to be helpful.
Looloo is grossed out that Johnny went to save Maxie. Carly says she can vent all she wants and doesn't blame her. Looloo leaves, but obviously she's leaving to go into the buiding, so why doesn't Carly stop her.
Stairwell: Johnny has found Maxie and tries to reason with her that she can't make it to the 10th floor. Maxie has smudges of soot that at once make her look like a Raggedy Ann doll and Hitler. I don't know how else to explain it. She knows Johnny is right, but she doesn't know how to abandon her friend.
GH Not the Studio: I don't know how Jason expects to recover from a gun shot wound without the magical, healing energies of Liz's studio, but I guess sometimes you gotta improvise and just use a hospital. They leave to try to wander aimlessly in a way that Spinelli might have wandered aimlessly and thus run into him.
MH Monica's Room: Nik agrees to try to stalk Rebecca again. Or maybe he agreed to do some googling, but Edward knows a stalker when he sees one. Wow, it only seems like a few days ago that Nik was one of my favorite characters. See what Natalia does?
MH Claud's Room: Kate suggests that Claud confess now, while Claud is recovering from almost dying, thus Sonny won't snap and kill her instantly and that his best course of action is to divorce her and get her charged and convicted. Good heavens Kate has an annoying voice. Claud looks idiotically guilty for a bit but then snaps that Kate has no proof. Does Megan Ward think she's in a Noel Coward play? What's with the whiney, wimpy, shrill voice? Sonny busts in and Kate grabs another bushel full of grass to make another thin strand of rope and says this is between her and Claud for now. Olivia walks in and asks what this is about, and she says she only knows she's supposed to braid together strands of rolled up grass and set them in a pile on this side of the gorge. Olivia and Kate leave. Sonny asks what this is about, but Claud is busy with her bushel of grass. She mutters something about making it to the other side of the gorge by next fall.
Commercials
MH Emma's Room: Robin tells her sleeping Inuit that there are a lot of heroes today. she tells Mac about her decision to send Emma with Maxie and stay to help the evacuation. She narrows her brows and says this doesn't really make sense to her now, but she felt selfish at the time for abandoning people who needed help. She says she knows she should have been the one to take Maxie. Mac is incredibly loving during all of this and gently strokes her hair and tells her the world of parenting is full of decisions that don't always end up being smart or right.
GH: Loo tries to get into a building, but oddly a firefighter stops her. Then she watches as Maxie and Johnny make it out of the building and embrace.
GH Burning Areas: Jason and Sam stumble upon a door marked "Utility Room" and they both easily discern that OBVIOUSLY this is where Spinelli is. They begin to call out to him.
MH Claud's Room: Claud has turned on the waterworks while she talks to Sonny. She talks about when Sonny sent Johnny to Paddedton, and she was truly afraid for her life and her brother's life at that time. He asks why she's bringing this up. oh, she's about to confess! or, really, she's about to stare at him while we cut to commercial! almost the same thing!
Commercials
1 marachino cherry
6 oz club soda
2 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 slice orange
1.5 oz sloe gin
1 teaspoon powdered sugar
box of rocks
fill a mixing glass with rocks. add sloe gin, sugar and lemon juice. Shake and strain into a Collins glass filled with ice. Add club soda, cherry and orange slice. Empty your mind and enjoy.
I'm a tad behind, but luckily I love to ignore Luke and Teethan.
GH Ambulance Bay: Nadine kindly asks Chewbecca if she wants to go to Mercy. Maudevoiced Chewbecca says she only wants a warm bath. Can't really argue with that. Nik says Chewy has suffered smoke inhalation. Nadine says she might as well concede b/c Nik usually gets his way. They all get in the ambulance. Nik awkardly sits between the woman he most recently slept with, and the woman who looks most like the woman he slept with before that. Nadine offers to check Chewy's vitals.
Robin holds her Inuit baby, who is finally sleeping. Robin, for once, doesn't sound like she's reciting her dissertation to a crowd of geniuses and instead sounds like she's telling a story to a baby. It's nice.
Vaguely Burning Building: Johnny is now wandering aimlessly, looking for Maxie. He finds her shoe. Aw, how Cinderella-y!
PCPD Shack: Sonny, Kate, Olivia and Claud all reunite. Kate yammers something about Carly instead of saying "your wife shot your kid" because Kate is so lame. Kate finally starts talking in code about secrets, but Raynor comes in to take them to Mercy. How thoughtful. The FBI drops the ball, literally, but they let non plow pox victims get medical attention first.
Snowy Exterior: Jax and Carly reunite and profess their love and adoration and such. Alexis walks up and apologizes for interrupting and asks if they've heard about Sam.
Snowy Roof: Jason, as you may have tried to block out, just pulled Sam up from certain death, and caught the Plow Pox sphere without damaging it. He and Sam leave to save Spinelli.
Commercials
Mercy PD: Luke laments that his son is a cop. He wonders where he went so wrong as a father. heh.
Mercy Hospital, Monica's Room: Edward and Monica summoned Mac to tell him about Chewbecca, how she's a twin. They want to make sure Mac finds her to make sure she's safe. Mac hilariously acts like it's not that weird to find out your dead daughter has a twin. And it's really not that odd in Port Charles. If this was Pine Valley, then I'd understand the hubbub. Mac agrees to investigate. Don't these very rich people have someone they can call to at least google "Rebecca Shaw?"
GH Exterior: Alexis says they don't know where Jason, Sam or spinelli are. Carly says there's a good chance they are together, but Jason would never leave Sam or Spinelli in there. She reassures Alexis that Sam will be fine. Looloo in her tootoo run up to Carly to say she's glad she's okay. Jax hugs Alexis.
Slightly On Fire Room: Johnny calls for Maxie.
Fairly fire filled Stairwell: Jason and Sam don't do stupid things like crawl on the floor to reduce smoke inhalation. When the boogeyman has nightmares, he has nightmares about Jasam, is why. Jasam can kill two stones with one bird, is why.
PCPD Shack: The ladies have all left to be treated for a deadly toxin. So that's nice. Raynor threatens Sonny. On account of how that's always so effective. Admittedly, Peter Gallagher's eyebrows are scarier than Sonny, but that doesn't change the fact that no one ever scares, damages or causes inconvenience to Sonny, so why do they keep pretending it's ever going to happen?
Commercials
Hate-able hatey hate Jail: Luke and Teethan talk about how Luke hates his son. Teethan says he gets that he'd want his son to be a notorious outlaw. Luke says Teethan gets it.
Actually Alarmingly Fire Filled Room: Jason tosses the Plow Pox into the fire. Because he's already obviously determined that he and Sam are immune to toxins. Because Jasam doesnt' get frostbite. Jasam bites frost.
Mercy Hospital: So the beret finally comes off. In case you wanted to know, Chewbecca has slightly blond highlights. Nik is creepily hanging out in her room. I can't even imagine how something like that would happen? When the doctor comes in, Nik instructs him to give her a full battery of tests,a nd she beyond reasonably snaps that she just met him an HOUR ago, so she'll take the rest of her life from here, thank you very much. I'm still not sold on Natalia, but I can't argue with anything Rebecca is saying regarding this creepy stalker she just met.
PCPD Shack: Carly and Jax stop by for a visit. Sonny's eyes get all big and hilarious...oh, I mean...threatening, and he tells Raynor he has a wife at Mercy, so he's going there, or Raynor can arrest him. Carly watches this in surprise. I guess she figures the bathtubsexbaby is out now.
MH Claud's Room: For some reason Kate, Claud and Olivia are all in the same room. It's only a 6 on the Stupid Scale, though, and it clearly has to happen so the "Who Shot Chucky" plot can creep along at rope bridge speed. (not really sure what that means? well you know how old rope bridges exist across giant chasms? they built those by: all the ladies would wander around, plucking grasses out of the ground, and then the ladies would sit around and roll the grasses together to make long, thin ropes, and then the ladies would braid those long, thin ropes into slightly thicker ropes, and so on and so forth until you had a ton of longass ropes. and then somehow...no idea...they would get these longass ropes to span the chasm. maybe the dudes crawled down and across and back over? What I'm saying is: this takes a realllllly long time.)
Olvia leaves and Kate sits at Claud's bedside and says she knows that Claud is involved in Chucky's shooting. She won't bother to tell her cousin, who could have helped her prove this, but she will tell the one woman who has a reason to stop her from telling. Kate is really smart. Smart like a stapler, as they say!
Commercials
Who's Ya Daddy Jail: Oh, good, my monitor has decided to randomly shut on and off. That's awesome. I was really HOPING I would have to buy something new and expensive this month! Teethan accidentally quotes Hemingway. When Luke says it's impressive, Teethan says he got it off a matchbook. Luke laughs at this. I've had about a quart of gin, and I don't find it remotely funny. Hmmm, maybe I'm doing it wrong.
MH Claud's Room: Claud continues to manage a strong poker face and accuses Kate of being crazy. Kate accuses her again, and Claud says she didn't. But then she breathes funny like she's in pain. Kate has an annoying squeaky voice. I've never noticed before today. Somehow she knows that Claud planned the time and place of the shooting, and again I asks....why did Jerry Probst leave clues to find the DVD that tell the whole story....if the clues ALSO tell the whole story? What's to stop Sonny from stumbling upon a mere clue?
PCPD Shack: Natasha yells at Raynor to focus on getting the survivors out instead of bullying Sonny. Carly informs Loo that Johnny rushed into a burning building to save Maxie (this would be the same burning building he ignored for hours when it was just Looloo stuck in it. hahhahahahahahaha!)
MH Emma's Room: Robin continues to enjoy her baby and be magically cured of PPD. Mac visits and says Robin probably thought forward motion was better than waiting in a frozen car. This is true. But, Robin leaves out the treeing of her baby. But Eskimos are tough, so maybe she wasn't that horrible.
MH Monica's Room: Nik visits to give Mon and Edward a stalker update on Rebecca. Monica is worried she'll disappear, and they'll never see her again. Nik says they'll get answers when things calm down.
GH not even pretending to be on fire room: Sam wants to change Jason's bandages. The bandages are very bloody, and Sam is clearly lacking in the magical life saving bandage changing department b/c she slightly gags at the sight of the blood. I once almost fainted when my date was getting stitches. It was our first date. Long story, but he needed stitches, and I thought I'd be a cool date and hang out and entertain him while he got them. But the nurse took one look at my face as it turned green when she busted out those creepy, pointy, shiny instruments, and she told me to beat it. So I'm not mocking Sam b/c blood is icky.
Commercials
Is it Infinity Yet? Jail: Luke wants to bust out of jail.
PCPD Jail: Jax wants to take the jaxicopter back to save Sam and Jason. Yes, but how would they know to be on the roof? Oh, Alexis asks this. Jax concedes and says he just wants to be helpful.
Looloo is grossed out that Johnny went to save Maxie. Carly says she can vent all she wants and doesn't blame her. Looloo leaves, but obviously she's leaving to go into the buiding, so why doesn't Carly stop her.
Stairwell: Johnny has found Maxie and tries to reason with her that she can't make it to the 10th floor. Maxie has smudges of soot that at once make her look like a Raggedy Ann doll and Hitler. I don't know how else to explain it. She knows Johnny is right, but she doesn't know how to abandon her friend.
GH Not the Studio: I don't know how Jason expects to recover from a gun shot wound without the magical, healing energies of Liz's studio, but I guess sometimes you gotta improvise and just use a hospital. They leave to try to wander aimlessly in a way that Spinelli might have wandered aimlessly and thus run into him.
MH Monica's Room: Nik agrees to try to stalk Rebecca again. Or maybe he agreed to do some googling, but Edward knows a stalker when he sees one. Wow, it only seems like a few days ago that Nik was one of my favorite characters. See what Natalia does?
MH Claud's Room: Kate suggests that Claud confess now, while Claud is recovering from almost dying, thus Sonny won't snap and kill her instantly and that his best course of action is to divorce her and get her charged and convicted. Good heavens Kate has an annoying voice. Claud looks idiotically guilty for a bit but then snaps that Kate has no proof. Does Megan Ward think she's in a Noel Coward play? What's with the whiney, wimpy, shrill voice? Sonny busts in and Kate grabs another bushel full of grass to make another thin strand of rope and says this is between her and Claud for now. Olivia walks in and asks what this is about, and she says she only knows she's supposed to braid together strands of rolled up grass and set them in a pile on this side of the gorge. Olivia and Kate leave. Sonny asks what this is about, but Claud is busy with her bushel of grass. She mutters something about making it to the other side of the gorge by next fall.
Commercials
MH Emma's Room: Robin tells her sleeping Inuit that there are a lot of heroes today. she tells Mac about her decision to send Emma with Maxie and stay to help the evacuation. She narrows her brows and says this doesn't really make sense to her now, but she felt selfish at the time for abandoning people who needed help. She says she knows she should have been the one to take Maxie. Mac is incredibly loving during all of this and gently strokes her hair and tells her the world of parenting is full of decisions that don't always end up being smart or right.
GH: Loo tries to get into a building, but oddly a firefighter stops her. Then she watches as Maxie and Johnny make it out of the building and embrace.
GH Burning Areas: Jason and Sam stumble upon a door marked "Utility Room" and they both easily discern that OBVIOUSLY this is where Spinelli is. They begin to call out to him.
MH Claud's Room: Claud has turned on the waterworks while she talks to Sonny. She talks about when Sonny sent Johnny to Paddedton, and she was truly afraid for her life and her brother's life at that time. He asks why she's bringing this up. oh, she's about to confess! or, really, she's about to stare at him while we cut to commercial! almost the same thing!
Commercials
Friday, February 13, 2009
GH Recap 2/13: Tiny Nose Ring Punch
Tiny Nose Ring Punch
1 teaspoon sugar
1 1/2 - 2 ounces Jamaican rum
1 ounce lemon juice
1 splash grenadine
2 ounces orange juice
1/2 ounce branch water
Pour all ingredients in a bassinet and ignore them
Jason carries Claud to the little area where Kate is hanging around, awaiting death. Kate does hilariously say "oh, I see you found a Zacchara" as if he found a dead possum or something. Kate warns Jason that Trevor has a Sphere, and Claud is all "oh, yeah, I forgot to tell ya that" Jason is annoyed that Claud didn't say this sooner, and he goes off to save the day and stuff. Kate then snarls at Claud that she kills kids.
Sonny digs Carly out of the rubble, and she tells him not to yell at her.
Fire filled football huddle. Chewbecca continues to yell at Nik to save her. She manages to sound a little less like she's yelling at him as if it's fault this time. Nik finally remembers that he benches about 300 pounds, so he lifts the flimsy cardboard shelf off of her. Her voice actually now sounds reasonably like it's hoarse from smoke inhalation, so I give her points for that. (so, she's now at negative 93989203492 points!) She says she can't believe he just did that. She steadies herself and says he saved her life. OH, so go fall in love and sit on the couch and schmoop to each other endlessly then why don'tcha? But then the ceiling falls on Nik. lol. these idiots.
Liz and Lucky grossly schmoop to each other. As if to mock me for ever making fun and Jason and Liz.
Chewbecca grunts and groans and screams and tries to carry Nik. It is nice of her since he just saved her life. (but also, they wouldn't be here if he wasn't a stalker)
Kate and Claud sit around in their wheelchairs, in a burning building, and gossip about Claud shooting Chucky. Kate says she's going tomake sure Sonny finds out. I suppose she's going to do that by never mentioning it the 50 millionty times seen him since she learned about it?
Sonny and Carly bicker about how to escape, but then they finally decide "standing around the room on fire" is not on the list of smart options.
Maxie talks to herself as she walks up the stairs, trying to force herself to go on. I think the sign on the door said she's only on the 2nd floor, and that is hilarious if she's already tuckered out this early. heh. But it may have said "Stairwell 2" and that might mean something too.
Snowy roof: Trevor and Sam sit around and gossip about plow pox. Trevor thinks that by going up to every single person in the hospital and taunting them with the plow pox that this will somehow translate into his getting a raise, or like a cool car or something. I don't see why it would end in his getting dead, but what do I know?
Commercials
Alexis' Office. I think her office has gotten sexier. She's on the phone demanding results. I think she's trying to keep info about the hospital from the media. Diane shows up, b/c who doesn't pop in, in the middle of the night, in a blizzard, to a friend's office, on the off chance they are there still? If I had a nickel... Anyhoo, love them, so who cares. Diane is a good sounding board while Alexis laments that the fatherS of her children, and her male BFF, and her daughter and nephew are there. Diane points out that Jax has some tangential Superjase qualities (never gets the girl for long, saves at least part of the day).
Snowy Roof: Sam goes for broke and asks Trevor to just give her the plow pox. Oddly, this doesn't work. He heads back to the building, but she trains a gun on him and tells him not to go. Trevor says he doesn't think anyone knows what he's really capable of. It would rule of Sam shot him to sacrifice herself to save the hospital. But obviously that's not going to happen b/c then this would be the sort of show that makes people cry. I can't figure out what Trevor thinks his end game is? Even though Gitmo is closing, I'd guess he'd still have to spend at least a few months there for being a super creepy awful terrorist and being on record as being such to EVERYONE he's seen today. so dumb.
Kate and Claud whine fest. Claud angrily says that Sonny knows Dr. Devil shot Chucky. She does a good job of acting like she has no earthly idea what Kate is babbling about. So convincing, that even stupid Kate looks half convinced for a second. heh. This show is so awesomely stupid. Kate tells her "shut up evil shrew" Omg. She totally busted out the Shakespearean word for the b-word. That is cold! Patrick continues to be the only person with half a brain in this building, and he rushes in all out of breath as if something urgent is going on.
Sonny and Carly blah blah don't do anything so why bother showing them?
Maxie mutters and climbs and climbs and mutters. Aw, see, this show is so stupid that now I don't even care if Maxie dies. That's consistent.
Tracy is now full on back in bed. b/c why wouldn't you be strapped to oxygen tanks in an inferno? but whatever, it's a sweet chance for Loo to wander aimlessly in and Tracy to sweetly tell her it's been an honor to be her step monster. and I do sort of love Looloo when she is being a journeywoman to Tracy.
Commercials
Mercy Hospital: Oh, my bad! Tracy and Looloo must be at Mercy I now realize. So, sorry, show! That actually all makes lots of sense. Tracy and Looloo have a lovely little scene whereby the reassure each other that the other's loved ones are safe. Loo tells Tracy that she knows that Tracy is the best ever, even when she tries to pretend that she only pretends to be the best ever. Tracy then adorably drops the mushy stuff and tells Loo to go find out where the hell Luke has been then, because where he has NOT been was saving either one of them. Loo smiles b/c it's always a good sign that Tracy is going to make it when she gets grumpy.
Nik and Chewbecca wander about a bit, but at least Nik is awake now.
Maxie wanders about as well.
Snowy Roof: Nik and Chewbecca have made it to the roof. Patrick has Kate and Claud in wheelchairs. They all stare at Chewbecca, and she sort of hilariously snaps in her Maude voice "I know, I look like Emily, I'm not her" whatever, but also, heh. Jax comes down some other set of stairs and asks about Carly. But they have to take off, I guess.
oh, wait ,what? does this building have 4 roofs? I guess it's sort of like the roof in Die Hard with the helicopter pad on one level and then a lower level around that? So, on a different lower level than the Patrick-y one, Sam and Trevor have an insane conversation. somehting about how he expects to not only not go to Gitmo, but be named a hero? She says he has to give her the poison first, and he says that's the plan. Then he throws the plow pox in the air, so she drops her gun to catch it, but then he picks her up and says "let's go" and throws her over the ledge, but then he also falls past her, while she grabs onto the ledge and the plow pox. and actually, in the hands of a decent director and an actual budget, that's all quite groovy. On this show, the way it was shot...just sort of laughably dorky.
Commercials
Alexis' Office: Alexis has some updates on survivors. Diane, of course, is taking adorable thimble sized shots from her flask. Such a lady not to guzzle from the flask, that one! Diane then mutters comically about Kate and Carly getting out. The content may be stupid, but the delivery is delightful as ever. lol, then Diane busts out a SPARE thimble sized flask and gives it to Alexis. Alexis asks if she carries this flask everywhere, even in court. Diane shrugs and asks "but is it working?" Alexis takes a shot and says no. Then she sits and talks about how she's messed up with Kristina. whatever, unless she gets cast by a terrible actress, Kristina has the capacity to rule. Alexis beats herself up for giving up Sam, b/c she never would have considered it with her other two daughters. Diane squints and pauses and sagely says you can't live a life of regret. Alexis promises to do better henceforth.
Ambulance bay: Nadine and Shawn Douglas hang out in an ambulance. He's blaming himself still and doesn't want to leave. Then he says "besides, the chocolate pudding at Mercy sucks" Nadine blinks at him as she does when she's being lovely, fun Nadine and pretends to be annoyed that he's making jokes. hmmm, cute chemistry. just saying. (don't make them be idiots, though.)
Carly and Sonny and maybe Jax all run around while the aggravating Sweeps Music plays.
PCPD Shack: Raynor shows up. omg. LMAO. They made Kate and Claud go to the shack and not directly to Mercy? lol, like BOTH these women don't have extra lawyers that would be there. Raynor wants to question them. Claud says she knows Trevor has a poison to kill everyone. Raynor says they just found his dead body, and he guesses he jumped to avoid being burned to death.
Super Realistic Look At Hypothermia: So Sam has been hanging, BY ONE HAND this whole time. She has the plow pox in the other. She finally can't hang on, so she takes the plow pox hand and sets the plow pox down (it's just that very delicate sphere now, not even with the protective case), so she can hold on with both hands. Jason comes out and looks around, and obviously nothing is there, but he looks around anyway...but then he shrugs like 'oh, I give up' because darren aronsfsky is guest directing, I guess. Just then, Sam gasps as she tries to pull herself up, and even though it's a roof top in a blizzard, and you can never hear Sam when she's yelling, Superjase heard this and turns abruptly back to the ledge.
Commercials
Alexis's Office: Diane and her thimble was trying to "secretly" look at Alexis' files, but she's half drunk and not very sneaky. Alexis numbly asks what she's doing, and Diane admits to being busted. As you'd have to admit to having a nose if asked. Diane wants to read stuff about Bobbie and Mike b/c she has drawn up the wills for Sonny and Carly. Alexis says if they die, she'll make sure Diane gets their contact info. Then Diane drunkenly starts slurring about how she's doesn't want to hear about how Sonny is in bed, but she's sure he's great, but she won't go there. Alexis just watches her drunken friend and nods and says "good for you. I wish I'd exercised that self control" Diane is now wobbling her thimble all over the place and assures Alexis it's going to be okay. Alexis is dubious about Diane's optimism.
One of the snowy rooftops: Oh, Jason saw Sam's gun, maybe he didn't hear her. but when he picks up the gun, it activates his Superjase Hearing, and then he hears her and pulls her to safety.
Liz and Lucky remind me why I never have liked them since J. Jackson left the show.
Ambulance: Nadine and Shawn D continue to be entertaining. Shawn looks kind of drunk, but I'm sure he's going for "near death" Patrick walks up, and the Brothers Drake have a sweet moment of recognizing that neither one abandoned the other. Nadine looks very forlorn and asks about rebuilding GH. Well, the three of you are a reasonable start. If only everyone left in the building could die! oh, she meant the actual sets. nevermind. Patrick looks even more in need of a nap than Jason does on most days. He deserves one! He talks about his wife and child and all that happened, in this drowsy, stunned way that makes me want to hug him. He finally snaps out of it and says "let's go to Mercy" Just then annoying Raynor shows up to take Patrick to that stupid darkened room and ask him questions for a few hours. It would be cool if Patrick just kicked him in the chin and closed the ambulance doors, but we all know that doesn't happen.
Mercy: Tracy and Loo gossip about Johnny. booo!
GH exterior: Somehow Carly and Sonny made it down the stairs and out the door. A fi er fy tur gives her a blanket. Piano Guy lets the music swell ridiculously, and he says she's a fighter. Oh, how I love to watch Sonny and Carly be in love. Please make them a couple!!!!! PPPPllllleeeeaaaawssssseeeeee (I'm trying a new thing whereby I embrace what I hate and hate what I love about this show)
Commercials
Ambulance: Shawn Douglas is still slurring saying he should be talking to the FBI, not his brother, and he then he oddly wonders when the FBI started overruling doctors. He tries to get up to talk, but Nadine insists he sit down and says they are going to Mercy now. Just then Nik shows up with his dead ex-wife and asks if there is room. Aw, Nadine, I'm very grateful to you for being so annoying the past few weeks after being so adorable for the weeks prior. I have some bad news for you. Does the name "Chloe Morgan" mean anything to you?
Carly and Jax find each other and embrace.
PCPD Shack: Sonny enters and Claud embraces him, saying she was worried. Kate just stares instead of saying "um, she shot your son"
Roof: Jason pulls up Sam, but in the process knocks off the plow pox. but then Sam screams "the poison!" so he dives his hand off the ledge, and of course catches it! and I'd mock it, but it's not even the dumbest thing that happened in all of this.
the end
1 teaspoon sugar
1 1/2 - 2 ounces Jamaican rum
1 ounce lemon juice
1 splash grenadine
2 ounces orange juice
1/2 ounce branch water
Pour all ingredients in a bassinet and ignore them
Jason carries Claud to the little area where Kate is hanging around, awaiting death. Kate does hilariously say "oh, I see you found a Zacchara" as if he found a dead possum or something. Kate warns Jason that Trevor has a Sphere, and Claud is all "oh, yeah, I forgot to tell ya that" Jason is annoyed that Claud didn't say this sooner, and he goes off to save the day and stuff. Kate then snarls at Claud that she kills kids.
Sonny digs Carly out of the rubble, and she tells him not to yell at her.
Fire filled football huddle. Chewbecca continues to yell at Nik to save her. She manages to sound a little less like she's yelling at him as if it's fault this time. Nik finally remembers that he benches about 300 pounds, so he lifts the flimsy cardboard shelf off of her. Her voice actually now sounds reasonably like it's hoarse from smoke inhalation, so I give her points for that. (so, she's now at negative 93989203492 points!) She says she can't believe he just did that. She steadies herself and says he saved her life. OH, so go fall in love and sit on the couch and schmoop to each other endlessly then why don'tcha? But then the ceiling falls on Nik. lol. these idiots.
Liz and Lucky grossly schmoop to each other. As if to mock me for ever making fun and Jason and Liz.
Chewbecca grunts and groans and screams and tries to carry Nik. It is nice of her since he just saved her life. (but also, they wouldn't be here if he wasn't a stalker)
Kate and Claud sit around in their wheelchairs, in a burning building, and gossip about Claud shooting Chucky. Kate says she's going tomake sure Sonny finds out. I suppose she's going to do that by never mentioning it the 50 millionty times seen him since she learned about it?
Sonny and Carly bicker about how to escape, but then they finally decide "standing around the room on fire" is not on the list of smart options.
Maxie talks to herself as she walks up the stairs, trying to force herself to go on. I think the sign on the door said she's only on the 2nd floor, and that is hilarious if she's already tuckered out this early. heh. But it may have said "Stairwell 2" and that might mean something too.
Snowy roof: Trevor and Sam sit around and gossip about plow pox. Trevor thinks that by going up to every single person in the hospital and taunting them with the plow pox that this will somehow translate into his getting a raise, or like a cool car or something. I don't see why it would end in his getting dead, but what do I know?
Commercials
Alexis' Office. I think her office has gotten sexier. She's on the phone demanding results. I think she's trying to keep info about the hospital from the media. Diane shows up, b/c who doesn't pop in, in the middle of the night, in a blizzard, to a friend's office, on the off chance they are there still? If I had a nickel... Anyhoo, love them, so who cares. Diane is a good sounding board while Alexis laments that the fatherS of her children, and her male BFF, and her daughter and nephew are there. Diane points out that Jax has some tangential Superjase qualities (never gets the girl for long, saves at least part of the day).
Snowy Roof: Sam goes for broke and asks Trevor to just give her the plow pox. Oddly, this doesn't work. He heads back to the building, but she trains a gun on him and tells him not to go. Trevor says he doesn't think anyone knows what he's really capable of. It would rule of Sam shot him to sacrifice herself to save the hospital. But obviously that's not going to happen b/c then this would be the sort of show that makes people cry. I can't figure out what Trevor thinks his end game is? Even though Gitmo is closing, I'd guess he'd still have to spend at least a few months there for being a super creepy awful terrorist and being on record as being such to EVERYONE he's seen today. so dumb.
Kate and Claud whine fest. Claud angrily says that Sonny knows Dr. Devil shot Chucky. She does a good job of acting like she has no earthly idea what Kate is babbling about. So convincing, that even stupid Kate looks half convinced for a second. heh. This show is so awesomely stupid. Kate tells her "shut up evil shrew" Omg. She totally busted out the Shakespearean word for the b-word. That is cold! Patrick continues to be the only person with half a brain in this building, and he rushes in all out of breath as if something urgent is going on.
Sonny and Carly blah blah don't do anything so why bother showing them?
Maxie mutters and climbs and climbs and mutters. Aw, see, this show is so stupid that now I don't even care if Maxie dies. That's consistent.
Tracy is now full on back in bed. b/c why wouldn't you be strapped to oxygen tanks in an inferno? but whatever, it's a sweet chance for Loo to wander aimlessly in and Tracy to sweetly tell her it's been an honor to be her step monster. and I do sort of love Looloo when she is being a journeywoman to Tracy.
Commercials
Mercy Hospital: Oh, my bad! Tracy and Looloo must be at Mercy I now realize. So, sorry, show! That actually all makes lots of sense. Tracy and Looloo have a lovely little scene whereby the reassure each other that the other's loved ones are safe. Loo tells Tracy that she knows that Tracy is the best ever, even when she tries to pretend that she only pretends to be the best ever. Tracy then adorably drops the mushy stuff and tells Loo to go find out where the hell Luke has been then, because where he has NOT been was saving either one of them. Loo smiles b/c it's always a good sign that Tracy is going to make it when she gets grumpy.
Nik and Chewbecca wander about a bit, but at least Nik is awake now.
Maxie wanders about as well.
Snowy Roof: Nik and Chewbecca have made it to the roof. Patrick has Kate and Claud in wheelchairs. They all stare at Chewbecca, and she sort of hilariously snaps in her Maude voice "I know, I look like Emily, I'm not her" whatever, but also, heh. Jax comes down some other set of stairs and asks about Carly. But they have to take off, I guess.
oh, wait ,what? does this building have 4 roofs? I guess it's sort of like the roof in Die Hard with the helicopter pad on one level and then a lower level around that? So, on a different lower level than the Patrick-y one, Sam and Trevor have an insane conversation. somehting about how he expects to not only not go to Gitmo, but be named a hero? She says he has to give her the poison first, and he says that's the plan. Then he throws the plow pox in the air, so she drops her gun to catch it, but then he picks her up and says "let's go" and throws her over the ledge, but then he also falls past her, while she grabs onto the ledge and the plow pox. and actually, in the hands of a decent director and an actual budget, that's all quite groovy. On this show, the way it was shot...just sort of laughably dorky.
Commercials
Alexis' Office: Alexis has some updates on survivors. Diane, of course, is taking adorable thimble sized shots from her flask. Such a lady not to guzzle from the flask, that one! Diane then mutters comically about Kate and Carly getting out. The content may be stupid, but the delivery is delightful as ever. lol, then Diane busts out a SPARE thimble sized flask and gives it to Alexis. Alexis asks if she carries this flask everywhere, even in court. Diane shrugs and asks "but is it working?" Alexis takes a shot and says no. Then she sits and talks about how she's messed up with Kristina. whatever, unless she gets cast by a terrible actress, Kristina has the capacity to rule. Alexis beats herself up for giving up Sam, b/c she never would have considered it with her other two daughters. Diane squints and pauses and sagely says you can't live a life of regret. Alexis promises to do better henceforth.
Ambulance bay: Nadine and Shawn Douglas hang out in an ambulance. He's blaming himself still and doesn't want to leave. Then he says "besides, the chocolate pudding at Mercy sucks" Nadine blinks at him as she does when she's being lovely, fun Nadine and pretends to be annoyed that he's making jokes. hmmm, cute chemistry. just saying. (don't make them be idiots, though.)
Carly and Sonny and maybe Jax all run around while the aggravating Sweeps Music plays.
PCPD Shack: Raynor shows up. omg. LMAO. They made Kate and Claud go to the shack and not directly to Mercy? lol, like BOTH these women don't have extra lawyers that would be there. Raynor wants to question them. Claud says she knows Trevor has a poison to kill everyone. Raynor says they just found his dead body, and he guesses he jumped to avoid being burned to death.
Super Realistic Look At Hypothermia: So Sam has been hanging, BY ONE HAND this whole time. She has the plow pox in the other. She finally can't hang on, so she takes the plow pox hand and sets the plow pox down (it's just that very delicate sphere now, not even with the protective case), so she can hold on with both hands. Jason comes out and looks around, and obviously nothing is there, but he looks around anyway...but then he shrugs like 'oh, I give up' because darren aronsfsky is guest directing, I guess. Just then, Sam gasps as she tries to pull herself up, and even though it's a roof top in a blizzard, and you can never hear Sam when she's yelling, Superjase heard this and turns abruptly back to the ledge.
Commercials
Alexis's Office: Diane and her thimble was trying to "secretly" look at Alexis' files, but she's half drunk and not very sneaky. Alexis numbly asks what she's doing, and Diane admits to being busted. As you'd have to admit to having a nose if asked. Diane wants to read stuff about Bobbie and Mike b/c she has drawn up the wills for Sonny and Carly. Alexis says if they die, she'll make sure Diane gets their contact info. Then Diane drunkenly starts slurring about how she's doesn't want to hear about how Sonny is in bed, but she's sure he's great, but she won't go there. Alexis just watches her drunken friend and nods and says "good for you. I wish I'd exercised that self control" Diane is now wobbling her thimble all over the place and assures Alexis it's going to be okay. Alexis is dubious about Diane's optimism.
One of the snowy rooftops: Oh, Jason saw Sam's gun, maybe he didn't hear her. but when he picks up the gun, it activates his Superjase Hearing, and then he hears her and pulls her to safety.
Liz and Lucky remind me why I never have liked them since J. Jackson left the show.
Ambulance: Nadine and Shawn D continue to be entertaining. Shawn looks kind of drunk, but I'm sure he's going for "near death" Patrick walks up, and the Brothers Drake have a sweet moment of recognizing that neither one abandoned the other. Nadine looks very forlorn and asks about rebuilding GH. Well, the three of you are a reasonable start. If only everyone left in the building could die! oh, she meant the actual sets. nevermind. Patrick looks even more in need of a nap than Jason does on most days. He deserves one! He talks about his wife and child and all that happened, in this drowsy, stunned way that makes me want to hug him. He finally snaps out of it and says "let's go to Mercy" Just then annoying Raynor shows up to take Patrick to that stupid darkened room and ask him questions for a few hours. It would be cool if Patrick just kicked him in the chin and closed the ambulance doors, but we all know that doesn't happen.
Mercy: Tracy and Loo gossip about Johnny. booo!
GH exterior: Somehow Carly and Sonny made it down the stairs and out the door. A fi er fy tur gives her a blanket. Piano Guy lets the music swell ridiculously, and he says she's a fighter. Oh, how I love to watch Sonny and Carly be in love. Please make them a couple!!!!! PPPPllllleeeeaaaawssssseeeeee (I'm trying a new thing whereby I embrace what I hate and hate what I love about this show)
Commercials
Ambulance: Shawn Douglas is still slurring saying he should be talking to the FBI, not his brother, and he then he oddly wonders when the FBI started overruling doctors. He tries to get up to talk, but Nadine insists he sit down and says they are going to Mercy now. Just then Nik shows up with his dead ex-wife and asks if there is room. Aw, Nadine, I'm very grateful to you for being so annoying the past few weeks after being so adorable for the weeks prior. I have some bad news for you. Does the name "Chloe Morgan" mean anything to you?
Carly and Jax find each other and embrace.
PCPD Shack: Sonny enters and Claud embraces him, saying she was worried. Kate just stares instead of saying "um, she shot your son"
Roof: Jason pulls up Sam, but in the process knocks off the plow pox. but then Sam screams "the poison!" so he dives his hand off the ledge, and of course catches it! and I'd mock it, but it's not even the dumbest thing that happened in all of this.
the end
Thursday, February 12, 2009
GH Recap 2/12: Dead to Me Daiquiri
Dead to Me Daiquiri
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/2 ounce lemon juice
dash of Maraschino liquer
1 1/4 ounces light rum
17 gallons of orange juice
Mix all ingredients with fine cracked ice in mixer or vigorously by hand. Strain through a dampened wash cloth into crystal glass. Angrily throw it at the fireplace.
Claud has aimlessly wandered to a stairwell, but Trevor finds her.
Jason seems to be injured in some other slightly burning stairwell.
Maxie holds Emma and lies that her mommy is on the way.
Chewbecca explains that it's just a coincidence that she looks like this Emily person. Nik pathetically says "No it's more. YOu look just like the woman I love more than life." and we have vomit.
Credits.
MercyPD: I can only assume this police department is like Mercy hospital...the other one people go to for no apparent reason sometimes. Luke and Teethan remain annoying.
Mercy Hospital: Maxie keeps yammering to Emma. Poor Emma is probably wishing for deafness at this point. Johnny and Robin show up. Maxie is relieved, but Robin looks terrified.
Snowy Roof: Lots of really fake snow falls quickly all over the place, thereby increasing its fakiness. Patrick has put people on the Jaxicopter, I guess, and then he tells Nadine and Shawn Douglas that they need to scatter b/c the hospital can't support more than 2 people in any one place at any one time, and also, more gossiping and idle chatting, less saving lives! Nadine says "will do" and they lumber off to a stairwell.
PCPD Shack: Weenie is already off the roof? Didn't we JUST see the helicopter...oh, nevermind, she probably took the magic chute off of it that Jax did yesterday. She and Mac talk about stuff. I can only assume it's stupid stuff.
Stairwell: Trevor and Claud sit around chatting. Trevor continues his Frank Gorshanian performance. He keeps cartooning about the biotoxin, but won't he also die if he drops it? Like, wouldn't this be scarier if he had a respirator? Hey Trevor, if you are going to eat all that scenery, you should probably drink some water! Trevor says her secret is going to die with her.
Wheel's Previous Room: It's also on fire in one or two spots that aren't getting bigger or smaller b/c that's how fire works. Ask Australia! Wheels is gone, and Jason has to find him to save Spinelli.
Was Nik in a helicopter earlier? because his tie is slightly loosened. Chewbecca is pretty bored and mostly grossed out by being stared at. She probably also thinks Nik is a gross chump because he's being all breathy and whiny and hateable. I forgot how much I loathed Nik when he was in lurve with Emily. Chewbecca finally gets sick of talking to this weirdo and turns to go, but Nik suggests that she might be related to Emily. Well, yes, IDENTICAL twins usually do have at least both parents in common. and people NEVER are identical otherwise...so it is logical.
Commercials
Mercy Hospital: Robin tries not to run from the room and manages to pick up Emma. Emma immediately begins to sob uncontrollably, causing Robin to wilt that she's still the worst mom ever. Maxie tearfully watches, maybe beginning to realize that something is wrong.
Nik and Chewbecca bicker a bit. Well, he tries to crawl into her pocket, and she tries to shake him off her pant leg.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Sam has aimlessly wandered over to Spinelli, so that he can consult his Laptop.
Ric has been here all this time? Man, he's done some seriously good aimless wandering b/c this is the first I've seen him. He lumbers over to Lucky, and they gossip slowly. Olivia and her stupid skirt wanders over to say "Kate is stuck in a wheelchair" I mean, unless Olivia meanly covered the floor around Kate with thumbtacks, how is she "stuck" also, why didn't she just wheel her over here when she left over there? Patrick randomly runs into all of them and yells at them that they have to get on the helicopter.
Stairwell: Claud magically has enough energy to scuffle with Trevor. He throws her down the stairs, and she lies there in a pathetic heap. He says his best escape is the roof. Then he adjusts his stupid cod piece and cape and flounces up the stairs.
Commercials
MercyPD: So now Luke and Teethan are in jail and endlessly talking and talking and being endlessly unfunny. Remember when Seinfeld sort of lost it's mind and ended the show with all four of them in jail. There's no particular point to my comment, but I just want to talk about anything but Luke and that other guy. Is Luke trying to get into that guard's pants, though? Why did they go all the way to some other town?
GH: Trevor runs around calling for his father but he does it weirdly. He's like moving quickly, as if the building is on fire and things are dire. I wonder why he's acting like this? Trevor ambles out of the shadows and for no apparent reason very cruelly says Sonny was always more loved than he was. Trevor says it was rigged from the start that way. Then he walks right towards the fire. Ric leaves, and again he makes no sense, because he rushes AWAY from fire. Ric is weird.
Mercy: Dr. Bald tells Robin about Emma's prognosis. Robin tries to become invisible and sneak away, so she can't quite pay attention. Maxie leaves with Johnny and talk about Spinelli some more.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli picks up his laptop and starts pacing, because it's really easy to type when you do that, I guess. Nik shows up and apparently he's going to do little else than talk about Rebeffoff for the rest of time. Sam fluffs her hair and says she hasn't seen her. Heh. That's awesome that Sam is so totally bored that there is a DoppleEmily.
Stairwell: Jason is sort of weird like Ric b/c he too keep rushing around when he moves. I don't get it. He's also not sat around and gossiped much. Does he not know about the fire? He stumbles upon Claud, and she whines that he's not going to help her.
Commercials
Please Just Kill Me PD: Nina and Pointless yammer. I feel bad for ever mocking anything in my life. If I had known that this subplot would ever be a thing, I would have been nicer. Why do they have popcorn.
What IS awesome, however, is that Olivia and everyone abandoned stupid Kate in some red hallway. Kate, unlike Ric and Jason, DOES understand how to behave in a fire, so she just sits there and hollers out "helloooooo" Trevor shows up to be comic booky and cartoony and OBVIOUSLY about to die. I don't mean that as a spoiler, but when a character talks to EVERYONE in one day and isn't Sam? About to die. It's always the case.
Stairwell: Jason plops Claud down on the floor. Did the plow pox affect their lungs AND knees or something? She sees he's been shot and worries it was her father, but he says it's none of her beeswax.
I honestly already forgot what just happened, so pointless and likely stupid it was.
Mercy: Maxie watches Robin tearfully holding Emma. Emma is sleeping and probably dreaming of igloos. Aw, she is super cute though, with those smoochable cheeks. Robin says Emma will be fine. Maxie leaves to take Johnny to GH. It FINALLY occurs to Robin to sing to her baby. I mean, isn't that why people have babies? the sweet singing? Robin also finally seems to be able to relax her face a bit, wathcing her baby sleep so peacefully.
Snowy Roof: Lots of fake snow. Patrick asks Jax to make sure Robin is okay. What does that even mean? Why can't Spinelli just post to GHfireupdates.com? Ric hotly gets on the helicopter. Patrick asks about his dad, and Ric hotly shrugs and says "what about him." atta boy!
Commercials
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaPD: I wonder what they could do to make me care less about these people?
Mercy Hospital: Oh, no, Robin has stopped singing is back to really long monologues. Babies totally love monologues! When in doubt, recite Portia's speech from Merchant of Venice. They love that one. Robin says she loves her. Dr. Bald shows up and says if the baby isn't better, she'll have to make a decision now. I'm not sure why he's so angry about this. Is he a bad actor, or does he just know that Robin is the worst? or the more likely "both"
PCPD Shack: Maxie can now fully obsess on Spinelli, but Mac says they have to be patient.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli leaves Laptop behind. Something about losing the wifi connection if he walks away. He runs to check on the coast being clear. Because he has the same kind of laptop I do, which is to say it can tell you where there are fires in a building. I have never had to use it, thank heavens, but it's nice that it's there. Well, here, right now I'll do a check. (taps fingers waiting) 0h, good! The report came back that there are no fires in this building! Such a relief. I'm sort of sad seeing El Laptopo sitting all alone on the chair. I fear he may never see his buddy again.
Red Area: Trevor taunts Kate with the plow pox. but again, why would he kill himself just to kill stupid Kate? Sam finally remembers that she's only been involved with 2 or 3 sub plots today, so she rushes in. Trevor tells her not to take another step, and he leaves. Because he simply HAS to run into more people than she does today, or he loses, I guess. Sam, not to be outdone, is fast on his heels.
Nik has chased Chewbecca to a particularly sort of fire filled area. I can see being somewhat alarmed by some of the spots of fire in this room. She has this unattractive choky shout in her voice. Sort of like she's about the hike the ball. She tells him to quit following her. He's so creepy and gross and desperate that you can smell it on him over the smoke. She stands there and lets the ceiling fall on her, so over his stalking is she. I can't really blame her. Nik stares at the squushy spot that used to be Rebecca.
Commercials
GH: Some guys dressed in big yellow coats with yellow helmets rush into the building. Wonder who the hell they are and what they do? Why are they carrying hoses?
Maxie idiotically says she's going to save Spinelli. Even though it's a 15 story building and everyone is wandering around constantly...and it's on fire.
Patrick rushes to find Spinelli, but he only finds the laptop.
Kate just sat there after Trevor left with the plow pox. Kate is so lame. She does tells Jason about the plow pox.
Roof: Sam tells Trevor they won't let him on the copter with the poison. He says he'll drop it over the side. Um, but then they'll kill you. Trevor is so annoying.
but then the best scene ever happens. Rebecca is stuck under some sort of cardboard shelving. She's still talking like the beefiest center in the NFL, and she pounds on the floor and says the fire is getting closer. She barks hoarsely "don lemme burhnnnn" and I wish I was watching this on the dvr TV b/c I'd watch that 12 times in a row and laugh and laugh and laugh. What is up with her voice? Nik, meanwhile, futzes about like he isn't made of muscles and has no idea how to lift heavy things.
thankfully, the end
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/2 ounce lemon juice
dash of Maraschino liquer
1 1/4 ounces light rum
17 gallons of orange juice
Mix all ingredients with fine cracked ice in mixer or vigorously by hand. Strain through a dampened wash cloth into crystal glass. Angrily throw it at the fireplace.
Claud has aimlessly wandered to a stairwell, but Trevor finds her.
Jason seems to be injured in some other slightly burning stairwell.
Maxie holds Emma and lies that her mommy is on the way.
Chewbecca explains that it's just a coincidence that she looks like this Emily person. Nik pathetically says "No it's more. YOu look just like the woman I love more than life." and we have vomit.
Credits.
MercyPD: I can only assume this police department is like Mercy hospital...the other one people go to for no apparent reason sometimes. Luke and Teethan remain annoying.
Mercy Hospital: Maxie keeps yammering to Emma. Poor Emma is probably wishing for deafness at this point. Johnny and Robin show up. Maxie is relieved, but Robin looks terrified.
Snowy Roof: Lots of really fake snow falls quickly all over the place, thereby increasing its fakiness. Patrick has put people on the Jaxicopter, I guess, and then he tells Nadine and Shawn Douglas that they need to scatter b/c the hospital can't support more than 2 people in any one place at any one time, and also, more gossiping and idle chatting, less saving lives! Nadine says "will do" and they lumber off to a stairwell.
PCPD Shack: Weenie is already off the roof? Didn't we JUST see the helicopter...oh, nevermind, she probably took the magic chute off of it that Jax did yesterday. She and Mac talk about stuff. I can only assume it's stupid stuff.
Stairwell: Trevor and Claud sit around chatting. Trevor continues his Frank Gorshanian performance. He keeps cartooning about the biotoxin, but won't he also die if he drops it? Like, wouldn't this be scarier if he had a respirator? Hey Trevor, if you are going to eat all that scenery, you should probably drink some water! Trevor says her secret is going to die with her.
Wheel's Previous Room: It's also on fire in one or two spots that aren't getting bigger or smaller b/c that's how fire works. Ask Australia! Wheels is gone, and Jason has to find him to save Spinelli.
Was Nik in a helicopter earlier? because his tie is slightly loosened. Chewbecca is pretty bored and mostly grossed out by being stared at. She probably also thinks Nik is a gross chump because he's being all breathy and whiny and hateable. I forgot how much I loathed Nik when he was in lurve with Emily. Chewbecca finally gets sick of talking to this weirdo and turns to go, but Nik suggests that she might be related to Emily. Well, yes, IDENTICAL twins usually do have at least both parents in common. and people NEVER are identical otherwise...so it is logical.
Commercials
Mercy Hospital: Robin tries not to run from the room and manages to pick up Emma. Emma immediately begins to sob uncontrollably, causing Robin to wilt that she's still the worst mom ever. Maxie tearfully watches, maybe beginning to realize that something is wrong.
Nik and Chewbecca bicker a bit. Well, he tries to crawl into her pocket, and she tries to shake him off her pant leg.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Sam has aimlessly wandered over to Spinelli, so that he can consult his Laptop.
Ric has been here all this time? Man, he's done some seriously good aimless wandering b/c this is the first I've seen him. He lumbers over to Lucky, and they gossip slowly. Olivia and her stupid skirt wanders over to say "Kate is stuck in a wheelchair" I mean, unless Olivia meanly covered the floor around Kate with thumbtacks, how is she "stuck" also, why didn't she just wheel her over here when she left over there? Patrick randomly runs into all of them and yells at them that they have to get on the helicopter.
Stairwell: Claud magically has enough energy to scuffle with Trevor. He throws her down the stairs, and she lies there in a pathetic heap. He says his best escape is the roof. Then he adjusts his stupid cod piece and cape and flounces up the stairs.
Commercials
MercyPD: So now Luke and Teethan are in jail and endlessly talking and talking and being endlessly unfunny. Remember when Seinfeld sort of lost it's mind and ended the show with all four of them in jail. There's no particular point to my comment, but I just want to talk about anything but Luke and that other guy. Is Luke trying to get into that guard's pants, though? Why did they go all the way to some other town?
GH: Trevor runs around calling for his father but he does it weirdly. He's like moving quickly, as if the building is on fire and things are dire. I wonder why he's acting like this? Trevor ambles out of the shadows and for no apparent reason very cruelly says Sonny was always more loved than he was. Trevor says it was rigged from the start that way. Then he walks right towards the fire. Ric leaves, and again he makes no sense, because he rushes AWAY from fire. Ric is weird.
Mercy: Dr. Bald tells Robin about Emma's prognosis. Robin tries to become invisible and sneak away, so she can't quite pay attention. Maxie leaves with Johnny and talk about Spinelli some more.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli picks up his laptop and starts pacing, because it's really easy to type when you do that, I guess. Nik shows up and apparently he's going to do little else than talk about Rebeffoff for the rest of time. Sam fluffs her hair and says she hasn't seen her. Heh. That's awesome that Sam is so totally bored that there is a DoppleEmily.
Stairwell: Jason is sort of weird like Ric b/c he too keep rushing around when he moves. I don't get it. He's also not sat around and gossiped much. Does he not know about the fire? He stumbles upon Claud, and she whines that he's not going to help her.
Commercials
Please Just Kill Me PD: Nina and Pointless yammer. I feel bad for ever mocking anything in my life. If I had known that this subplot would ever be a thing, I would have been nicer. Why do they have popcorn.
What IS awesome, however, is that Olivia and everyone abandoned stupid Kate in some red hallway. Kate, unlike Ric and Jason, DOES understand how to behave in a fire, so she just sits there and hollers out "helloooooo" Trevor shows up to be comic booky and cartoony and OBVIOUSLY about to die. I don't mean that as a spoiler, but when a character talks to EVERYONE in one day and isn't Sam? About to die. It's always the case.
Stairwell: Jason plops Claud down on the floor. Did the plow pox affect their lungs AND knees or something? She sees he's been shot and worries it was her father, but he says it's none of her beeswax.
I honestly already forgot what just happened, so pointless and likely stupid it was.
Mercy: Maxie watches Robin tearfully holding Emma. Emma is sleeping and probably dreaming of igloos. Aw, she is super cute though, with those smoochable cheeks. Robin says Emma will be fine. Maxie leaves to take Johnny to GH. It FINALLY occurs to Robin to sing to her baby. I mean, isn't that why people have babies? the sweet singing? Robin also finally seems to be able to relax her face a bit, wathcing her baby sleep so peacefully.
Snowy Roof: Lots of fake snow. Patrick asks Jax to make sure Robin is okay. What does that even mean? Why can't Spinelli just post to GHfireupdates.com? Ric hotly gets on the helicopter. Patrick asks about his dad, and Ric hotly shrugs and says "what about him." atta boy!
Commercials
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaPD: I wonder what they could do to make me care less about these people?
Mercy Hospital: Oh, no, Robin has stopped singing is back to really long monologues. Babies totally love monologues! When in doubt, recite Portia's speech from Merchant of Venice. They love that one. Robin says she loves her. Dr. Bald shows up and says if the baby isn't better, she'll have to make a decision now. I'm not sure why he's so angry about this. Is he a bad actor, or does he just know that Robin is the worst? or the more likely "both"
PCPD Shack: Maxie can now fully obsess on Spinelli, but Mac says they have to be patient.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli leaves Laptop behind. Something about losing the wifi connection if he walks away. He runs to check on the coast being clear. Because he has the same kind of laptop I do, which is to say it can tell you where there are fires in a building. I have never had to use it, thank heavens, but it's nice that it's there. Well, here, right now I'll do a check. (taps fingers waiting) 0h, good! The report came back that there are no fires in this building! Such a relief. I'm sort of sad seeing El Laptopo sitting all alone on the chair. I fear he may never see his buddy again.
Red Area: Trevor taunts Kate with the plow pox. but again, why would he kill himself just to kill stupid Kate? Sam finally remembers that she's only been involved with 2 or 3 sub plots today, so she rushes in. Trevor tells her not to take another step, and he leaves. Because he simply HAS to run into more people than she does today, or he loses, I guess. Sam, not to be outdone, is fast on his heels.
Nik has chased Chewbecca to a particularly sort of fire filled area. I can see being somewhat alarmed by some of the spots of fire in this room. She has this unattractive choky shout in her voice. Sort of like she's about the hike the ball. She tells him to quit following her. He's so creepy and gross and desperate that you can smell it on him over the smoke. She stands there and lets the ceiling fall on her, so over his stalking is she. I can't really blame her. Nik stares at the squushy spot that used to be Rebecca.
Commercials
GH: Some guys dressed in big yellow coats with yellow helmets rush into the building. Wonder who the hell they are and what they do? Why are they carrying hoses?
Maxie idiotically says she's going to save Spinelli. Even though it's a 15 story building and everyone is wandering around constantly...and it's on fire.
Patrick rushes to find Spinelli, but he only finds the laptop.
Kate just sat there after Trevor left with the plow pox. Kate is so lame. She does tells Jason about the plow pox.
Roof: Sam tells Trevor they won't let him on the copter with the poison. He says he'll drop it over the side. Um, but then they'll kill you. Trevor is so annoying.
but then the best scene ever happens. Rebecca is stuck under some sort of cardboard shelving. She's still talking like the beefiest center in the NFL, and she pounds on the floor and says the fire is getting closer. She barks hoarsely "don lemme burhnnnn" and I wish I was watching this on the dvr TV b/c I'd watch that 12 times in a row and laugh and laugh and laugh. What is up with her voice? Nik, meanwhile, futzes about like he isn't made of muscles and has no idea how to lift heavy things.
thankfully, the end
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
GH Recap 2/11: Be Like Kate Kocktail
I don't know how to get through these shows anymore, so I'm going to suggest a drink each day until it stops being stupid, or I run out of recipes.
Be Like Kate Kocktail
1 oz chilled vodka
1/2 oz dry vermouth
dash of gunpowder
1200 feet of tubing, the width of a drinking straws
Mix first 3 ingredients in a shaker and strain into martini glass. Run tubing from the glass to your mouth. Suck really hard.
Also, how has Sonny's hair not burst into flames yet? Did he think ahead and use flame retardant Crisco?
on with the show...
Candy Cane Forest: Kate and Olivia sit around, and Kate annoys the hell out of Olivia by yammering about "proof" Olivia seems ready to kill herself or Kate. Sonny rolls Claud into this area and says she shouldn't have tested to see if he'd come back for her. He tells her not to make it worse and leaves. But then she seems to have shat out the dvd. ouch!
Gum Drop Mountain: This time when Monica sees Chewbecca, she passes out. word, Monica!
Roof: Carly again calls out for Jax.
Credits
Stairwell: Nik and Jason gossip about Chewbecca and try to put out fires. They say it should hold long enough for people to get up stairs. Well, I guess if you got ALL THE PEOPLE BY THE EFFING STAIRS FIRST. But now you have to go back to drawing cards with colored squares on them and moving one at an effing time to the Molasses Swamp.
Nursery: Piph shows up just in time to stop Robin from just eating the baby, and they go off to wander about aimlessly in a burning building, as slowly as possible.
Mercy Hospital: In the most realistic move yet, after diagnosing Emma, a doctor shows up to get her medical history. Because at Mercy Hospital, you put in the stitches BEFORE you make the incision...etc.
PCPD Shack: Alexis learns about the Jaxicopter and rushes out b/c he needs her, and she can fly but forgot to tell anyone I guess. We hear an explosion. Mac grossly says "promise me you won't want to see what's left of him." Wow, Mac. That's totally not cool.
Roof: Carly and Spinelli's faces glow orange from the explosion. She laments that no one is there, no ambulance. Just another shrimp on the barby.
Candy Cane Forest: Kate gets all impressed with herself when she sees the Claud Droppings on the floor. She tells Sonny that what she has to say can't wait any longer. Claud looks up, wondering if she shouldn't have eaten 10 laxatives this morning.
Commercials
Gum Drop Mountain: Oh, also, Chewbecca ran off to get help when Monica passed out. Patrick and Nik show up and learn about Doppleemily. Sam hilariously says "her name is Rebecca Shaw, and she does look a lot like Emily." Aw, I miss Connoh. Nik does say that seeing Chewbecca is like seeing Emily again.
Purple Square: Nadine and Shawn Douglas talk about missing Layla. He feels responsible. Um, dude, seriously? you feel responsible for not guessing that a guy was filled with Randomized Biotoxins?
Yellow Square: Liz and Lucky are annoying.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Carly weeps that Jax was in a Jaxicopter, but no one knows where he is. Um, he's the charred kangaroo in the explosion you just saw. Weenie starts out Spinelli'ing spinelli while Jason and Carly stare at each other in their deep and abiding groovy kind of love way. Spinelli suggests they find a stronger wireless connection. (guffaw) and Jason says "how 'bout y'all stop talking" and he takes Carly's hand to comfort her.
PCPD Shack: Hi Jaxicopter's stupid magical alive self. He's not even dirty. Oh, nevermind. I now see that his tie is slightly loosened, so clearly he's been through a remarkably tragic event. Jax is certain if they would just give him one more jaxicopter, he could totally save everyone. Oh, and I mocked Carly for yelling to him, but he apparently saw and heard her, so shame on me for once again remembering about the laws of physics.
Candy Cane Forest: suck, reallllllly hard, y'all. So Kate is now in blissful, arrogant, Nancy Pelosian kind of full of herself. She snottily tells Olivia to go get her toxin infused DVD which is sitting on the floor. Olivia's jaw drops. Probably because mostly she'd rather be doing dinner theater than this bullchit.
Commercials
Oh, I hope the Megan Mullally Cheryl Hines show on Motherhood is watchable. I adore them both.
oh my fuck. It's Luke and Teethan (tm ABC board) They play pool while vacuous Stevie Ray Wannabe music plays annoyingly. Teethan says it's a small world. Luke does super duper awesomely say "well, by my count, it's because you keep running into the same 200 people", and I do love that giant wink at how this is supposedly a huge town, but really it's only 2o people and their descendents and the occassional interloper, and Luke has had scenes with almost all of them. But then people with guns walk in, and I remember I don't care.
Gum Drop Mountain: Everyone compares notes. Monica is certain Paige would have mentioned that Emily had a sister. Even though Nik had a twin that he never particularly questioned, this time he's certain it has to be more than coincidence. Um, really Nik, you think it's more that COINCIDENCE? THAT A PERSON LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ANOTHER PERSON? WHEN TWINS DON'T REALLY EVEN LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE? sorry for yelling.
Mercy: OH, so, Maxie and Johnny have simply lied and said Emma is their daughter. Doc says he has treatment options and they will have to make the call. Don't worry Maxie and Johnny, any treatment is better than "oh, look! There's a tree!"
Non Burning Nurse's Station: Robin tries to call people, and then she runs off when Piph shows up. And she also acts cold. the hell?
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Jason rocks Carly in his arms whilst Spinelli consults El Laptopo. Oddly, in a giant burning building, he loses internet access. Now how is THAT possible? So unrealistic! Sonny shows up to whine to everyone and be useless. Carly sneaks away while the boys yammer about how they should all move one at a time to this particular part of the building, or one at a time to this other particular part of the building...stopping often along the way to idly chat about personal vendettas or gossip.
PCPD Shack: Mac relents and gives Jax a Jaxicopter. Alexis tries to stop him b/c it's enough already with her not having lines. She says she's pulling rank and not letting him near the copters.
Yellow Square, which I now realize is actually Giant Chin Drop Beach: Carly tells Loo that she's going to escape or something and develop time travel skills and find Jax. Who cares. Loo won't go for some other reason. Probably Johnny related. I swear to gawd it was more logical when Marlena had yellow eyes and floated above her bed a lot. Then Carly tells Luckythat he got though the south stairwell, so she's going to, to get Jax. but see? If ONE person can get through the effing south stairwell WHY ARE THEY ALL HANGING AROUND ON GIAN CHIN DROP BEACH? WHY NOT GO DOWN THE EFFING STAIRS??????? But no, just Carly. The rest will wait to patiently die.
Commercials
Not Jake's: so...what can I say? Some dude named Roger and some woman named Nina exist now. She says they stole her money. I've seen Roger before. He's a mini That Guy. blah blah blah omg if you promise you care, I'll give more details, but until then: Luke and Teethan are doing annoying things...enough said.
Mercy: Maxie admits they aren't he parents, just the cousins. Dr. Bald says he has to have a parent to make choices. But really...can't you explain how the parents are doctors at the burning down toxin infected building and count on some other next of kin like Mac to say "yes, don't let the baby die?"
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Sonny and Jason fight a lot. Patrick leaves to try to save lives. Spinelli rushes after Jason for advice. Jason is going to save Wheels for some reason. oh, apparently Wheels has to live in order for Spinelli to be safe from jail? really? that sounds stupid. oh, nevermind. I forgot what show I was watching.
PCPD Shack: Jax and Alexis bicker. He reminds her "uh, billionaire, I can get a Jaxicopter, no matter what you do" She relents and tells Mac to give him a copter. She wishes him luck.
Candy Cane Forest: I am so in love with Olivia. Claud yells at Kate that she'd do anything to be with Sonny. Olivia, who is so totally over her idiot cousin deadpans to Claud "uh, not very constructive, dum dum" or something like that. Kate snots "why can't you do this very simple task" Olivia and the only skirt on the planet that makes her not look excessively hot, stands up and grabs the DVD. Claud realizes too late that she ppooped it out earlier. Kate smugly smiles and holds out her hand. Olivia fondles the dvd and says "doing this for your own good, cuz" and saunters off. Ha!
Fire filled room: One of those matchstick rooms '77 from soapnet was talking about earlier is still sort of burning in random, easily controlled spots. Olivia stares at the fire and throws the dvd into it. Sonny shows up, and asks "what are you doing" because that's all Sonny is. He's a midget in scrubs who wanders aimlessly and asks 'what are you doing'. I miss Nico.
Commercials
Not Jake's: highlights Roger says "city slickers" Luke pretends he's having a heart attack. Teethan plays along and then knocks Roger out with a sugar bottle. Not Coleman asks what they did to Sheriff Roger. where in the hell are they? Did they randomly drive to 1952 Eagle Pass, Texas?
Mercy: Apparently talking to a baby like it's your shrink is something women in this town just do. Maxie sits and discusses the meaning of life with an infant. Aw, but then she prays up to Georgie to watch out for Emma, so I feel bad for making fun of her.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli has wifi again. Someone has posted at "dearburninghospital.com" that an airlift will start soon. Weenie has to be on the first air lift, but she denies. Then she puts her hands in her armpits and sniffs them.
Sireny Sort of On Fire Room: Olivia and Sonny bicker and then split up. Because they are of the Camp Crystal Lake Guide to Survival school.
Giant Chin Drop Beach: People actually start to converge in one area. That's odd in an emergency.
Nik finds Chewbecca. She apologizes for running away when that woman passed out but wonders why he's so concerned about her.
Candy Cane Forest: Kate and Claud bicker. Olivia shows up and says she dropped the dvd in the fire and watched it burn. Basically, this is like when Elaine said "I hate this thing. And here is what I'm doing with it" to George about his toupee. It turns out it's funny enough to even work on this show.
Red Square: Carly tries to aimlessly wander her way off the floor, but Sonny finds her and says there's no way out, and then the random fire randomly gets slightly bigger but still not particularly menacing, but they run away anyways.
Commercials
Mercy: Dr. Bald tells Maxie that Emma is not responding to antibiotics, and the fever is bad. Maxie tearfully says she made the wrong choice and should have picked the more aggressive treatment. Dr. Bald asks when the parents are going to bother to check on their baby. (b/c seriously. don't they both know she's at Mercy?)
PCPD Shack: Robin goes to the shack to visit Mac. Johnny shows up to tell her to come now to Mercy b/c Emma has pneumonia. Robin just stands there and Johnny snaps at her "did you hear me? your daughter is sick. come with me now!" thank you johnny.
Nik and Chewbecca: He tells her he's worried about her b/c of Emily. She snaps "who the hell is Emily?" oh, where to start?
Snowy Roof: Jax has landed and for some reason gets out of the helicopter. Spinelli and Weenie share a tearful goodbye. Oh, who cares? Lucky puts Liz on the helicopter. She weakly asks him to come with her, but come on, there are like 50 women and old people who should obviously go first. They kiss goodbye. Sam stands nearby and has covered her face with her jacket b/c of the cold, but it turns out she probably has a "bleck, I think I just ate a bug" face, so that turns out to be good.
Red Square: (as in Candyland. Not saying they are in Russia!) I KNEW stupid Sonny would get trapped under a beam! He and Carly bicker about wandering aimlessly and slowly to safety, but then we hear the universal sound effect for collapsing roof, and they both look up in terror as the screen cuts to black.
the end
see ya tomorrow for another stupid filled hour of this show!
Be Like Kate Kocktail
1 oz chilled vodka
1/2 oz dry vermouth
dash of gunpowder
1200 feet of tubing, the width of a drinking straws
Mix first 3 ingredients in a shaker and strain into martini glass. Run tubing from the glass to your mouth. Suck really hard.
Also, how has Sonny's hair not burst into flames yet? Did he think ahead and use flame retardant Crisco?
on with the show...
Candy Cane Forest: Kate and Olivia sit around, and Kate annoys the hell out of Olivia by yammering about "proof" Olivia seems ready to kill herself or Kate. Sonny rolls Claud into this area and says she shouldn't have tested to see if he'd come back for her. He tells her not to make it worse and leaves. But then she seems to have shat out the dvd. ouch!
Gum Drop Mountain: This time when Monica sees Chewbecca, she passes out. word, Monica!
Roof: Carly again calls out for Jax.
Credits
Stairwell: Nik and Jason gossip about Chewbecca and try to put out fires. They say it should hold long enough for people to get up stairs. Well, I guess if you got ALL THE PEOPLE BY THE EFFING STAIRS FIRST. But now you have to go back to drawing cards with colored squares on them and moving one at an effing time to the Molasses Swamp.
Nursery: Piph shows up just in time to stop Robin from just eating the baby, and they go off to wander about aimlessly in a burning building, as slowly as possible.
Mercy Hospital: In the most realistic move yet, after diagnosing Emma, a doctor shows up to get her medical history. Because at Mercy Hospital, you put in the stitches BEFORE you make the incision...etc.
PCPD Shack: Alexis learns about the Jaxicopter and rushes out b/c he needs her, and she can fly but forgot to tell anyone I guess. We hear an explosion. Mac grossly says "promise me you won't want to see what's left of him." Wow, Mac. That's totally not cool.
Roof: Carly and Spinelli's faces glow orange from the explosion. She laments that no one is there, no ambulance. Just another shrimp on the barby.
Candy Cane Forest: Kate gets all impressed with herself when she sees the Claud Droppings on the floor. She tells Sonny that what she has to say can't wait any longer. Claud looks up, wondering if she shouldn't have eaten 10 laxatives this morning.
Commercials
Gum Drop Mountain: Oh, also, Chewbecca ran off to get help when Monica passed out. Patrick and Nik show up and learn about Doppleemily. Sam hilariously says "her name is Rebecca Shaw, and she does look a lot like Emily." Aw, I miss Connoh. Nik does say that seeing Chewbecca is like seeing Emily again.
Purple Square: Nadine and Shawn Douglas talk about missing Layla. He feels responsible. Um, dude, seriously? you feel responsible for not guessing that a guy was filled with Randomized Biotoxins?
Yellow Square: Liz and Lucky are annoying.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Carly weeps that Jax was in a Jaxicopter, but no one knows where he is. Um, he's the charred kangaroo in the explosion you just saw. Weenie starts out Spinelli'ing spinelli while Jason and Carly stare at each other in their deep and abiding groovy kind of love way. Spinelli suggests they find a stronger wireless connection. (guffaw) and Jason says "how 'bout y'all stop talking" and he takes Carly's hand to comfort her.
PCPD Shack: Hi Jaxicopter's stupid magical alive self. He's not even dirty. Oh, nevermind. I now see that his tie is slightly loosened, so clearly he's been through a remarkably tragic event. Jax is certain if they would just give him one more jaxicopter, he could totally save everyone. Oh, and I mocked Carly for yelling to him, but he apparently saw and heard her, so shame on me for once again remembering about the laws of physics.
Candy Cane Forest: suck, reallllllly hard, y'all. So Kate is now in blissful, arrogant, Nancy Pelosian kind of full of herself. She snottily tells Olivia to go get her toxin infused DVD which is sitting on the floor. Olivia's jaw drops. Probably because mostly she'd rather be doing dinner theater than this bullchit.
Commercials
Oh, I hope the Megan Mullally Cheryl Hines show on Motherhood is watchable. I adore them both.
oh my fuck. It's Luke and Teethan (tm ABC board) They play pool while vacuous Stevie Ray Wannabe music plays annoyingly. Teethan says it's a small world. Luke does super duper awesomely say "well, by my count, it's because you keep running into the same 200 people", and I do love that giant wink at how this is supposedly a huge town, but really it's only 2o people and their descendents and the occassional interloper, and Luke has had scenes with almost all of them. But then people with guns walk in, and I remember I don't care.
Gum Drop Mountain: Everyone compares notes. Monica is certain Paige would have mentioned that Emily had a sister. Even though Nik had a twin that he never particularly questioned, this time he's certain it has to be more than coincidence. Um, really Nik, you think it's more that COINCIDENCE? THAT A PERSON LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ANOTHER PERSON? WHEN TWINS DON'T REALLY EVEN LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE? sorry for yelling.
Mercy: OH, so, Maxie and Johnny have simply lied and said Emma is their daughter. Doc says he has treatment options and they will have to make the call. Don't worry Maxie and Johnny, any treatment is better than "oh, look! There's a tree!"
Non Burning Nurse's Station: Robin tries to call people, and then she runs off when Piph shows up. And she also acts cold. the hell?
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Jason rocks Carly in his arms whilst Spinelli consults El Laptopo. Oddly, in a giant burning building, he loses internet access. Now how is THAT possible? So unrealistic! Sonny shows up to whine to everyone and be useless. Carly sneaks away while the boys yammer about how they should all move one at a time to this particular part of the building, or one at a time to this other particular part of the building...stopping often along the way to idly chat about personal vendettas or gossip.
PCPD Shack: Mac relents and gives Jax a Jaxicopter. Alexis tries to stop him b/c it's enough already with her not having lines. She says she's pulling rank and not letting him near the copters.
Yellow Square, which I now realize is actually Giant Chin Drop Beach: Carly tells Loo that she's going to escape or something and develop time travel skills and find Jax. Who cares. Loo won't go for some other reason. Probably Johnny related. I swear to gawd it was more logical when Marlena had yellow eyes and floated above her bed a lot. Then Carly tells Luckythat he got though the south stairwell, so she's going to, to get Jax. but see? If ONE person can get through the effing south stairwell WHY ARE THEY ALL HANGING AROUND ON GIAN CHIN DROP BEACH? WHY NOT GO DOWN THE EFFING STAIRS??????? But no, just Carly. The rest will wait to patiently die.
Commercials
Not Jake's: so...what can I say? Some dude named Roger and some woman named Nina exist now. She says they stole her money. I've seen Roger before. He's a mini That Guy. blah blah blah omg if you promise you care, I'll give more details, but until then: Luke and Teethan are doing annoying things...enough said.
Mercy: Maxie admits they aren't he parents, just the cousins. Dr. Bald says he has to have a parent to make choices. But really...can't you explain how the parents are doctors at the burning down toxin infected building and count on some other next of kin like Mac to say "yes, don't let the baby die?"
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Sonny and Jason fight a lot. Patrick leaves to try to save lives. Spinelli rushes after Jason for advice. Jason is going to save Wheels for some reason. oh, apparently Wheels has to live in order for Spinelli to be safe from jail? really? that sounds stupid. oh, nevermind. I forgot what show I was watching.
PCPD Shack: Jax and Alexis bicker. He reminds her "uh, billionaire, I can get a Jaxicopter, no matter what you do" She relents and tells Mac to give him a copter. She wishes him luck.
Candy Cane Forest: I am so in love with Olivia. Claud yells at Kate that she'd do anything to be with Sonny. Olivia, who is so totally over her idiot cousin deadpans to Claud "uh, not very constructive, dum dum" or something like that. Kate snots "why can't you do this very simple task" Olivia and the only skirt on the planet that makes her not look excessively hot, stands up and grabs the DVD. Claud realizes too late that she ppooped it out earlier. Kate smugly smiles and holds out her hand. Olivia fondles the dvd and says "doing this for your own good, cuz" and saunters off. Ha!
Fire filled room: One of those matchstick rooms '77 from soapnet was talking about earlier is still sort of burning in random, easily controlled spots. Olivia stares at the fire and throws the dvd into it. Sonny shows up, and asks "what are you doing" because that's all Sonny is. He's a midget in scrubs who wanders aimlessly and asks 'what are you doing'. I miss Nico.
Commercials
Not Jake's: highlights Roger says "city slickers" Luke pretends he's having a heart attack. Teethan plays along and then knocks Roger out with a sugar bottle. Not Coleman asks what they did to Sheriff Roger. where in the hell are they? Did they randomly drive to 1952 Eagle Pass, Texas?
Mercy: Apparently talking to a baby like it's your shrink is something women in this town just do. Maxie sits and discusses the meaning of life with an infant. Aw, but then she prays up to Georgie to watch out for Emma, so I feel bad for making fun of her.
Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli has wifi again. Someone has posted at "dearburninghospital.com" that an airlift will start soon. Weenie has to be on the first air lift, but she denies. Then she puts her hands in her armpits and sniffs them.
Sireny Sort of On Fire Room: Olivia and Sonny bicker and then split up. Because they are of the Camp Crystal Lake Guide to Survival school.
Giant Chin Drop Beach: People actually start to converge in one area. That's odd in an emergency.
Nik finds Chewbecca. She apologizes for running away when that woman passed out but wonders why he's so concerned about her.
Candy Cane Forest: Kate and Claud bicker. Olivia shows up and says she dropped the dvd in the fire and watched it burn. Basically, this is like when Elaine said "I hate this thing. And here is what I'm doing with it" to George about his toupee. It turns out it's funny enough to even work on this show.
Red Square: Carly tries to aimlessly wander her way off the floor, but Sonny finds her and says there's no way out, and then the random fire randomly gets slightly bigger but still not particularly menacing, but they run away anyways.
Commercials
Mercy: Dr. Bald tells Maxie that Emma is not responding to antibiotics, and the fever is bad. Maxie tearfully says she made the wrong choice and should have picked the more aggressive treatment. Dr. Bald asks when the parents are going to bother to check on their baby. (b/c seriously. don't they both know she's at Mercy?)
PCPD Shack: Robin goes to the shack to visit Mac. Johnny shows up to tell her to come now to Mercy b/c Emma has pneumonia. Robin just stands there and Johnny snaps at her "did you hear me? your daughter is sick. come with me now!" thank you johnny.
Nik and Chewbecca: He tells her he's worried about her b/c of Emily. She snaps "who the hell is Emily?" oh, where to start?
Snowy Roof: Jax has landed and for some reason gets out of the helicopter. Spinelli and Weenie share a tearful goodbye. Oh, who cares? Lucky puts Liz on the helicopter. She weakly asks him to come with her, but come on, there are like 50 women and old people who should obviously go first. They kiss goodbye. Sam stands nearby and has covered her face with her jacket b/c of the cold, but it turns out she probably has a "bleck, I think I just ate a bug" face, so that turns out to be good.
Red Square: (as in Candyland. Not saying they are in Russia!) I KNEW stupid Sonny would get trapped under a beam! He and Carly bicker about wandering aimlessly and slowly to safety, but then we hear the universal sound effect for collapsing roof, and they both look up in terror as the screen cuts to black.
the end
see ya tomorrow for another stupid filled hour of this show!
OLTL Recap: 2/11
Vicki and Natalie bicker that Jess is really and _ess, so they shouldn't just assume that she's okay to be around babies and...you know...mammals.
Gigi serves Michael and Marcie big plates of food, and they talk about how they are all going to the Go Red ball, and why do people ever act surprised that they are all going to the same function, when they constantly are up in each other's business anyway? Gigi is excited by her dress.
Gatehouse: Stacy meanwhile opens the dress bag and admires the unremarkable dress. Also, Gigi, ever hear of a CLOSET? It's not like ironing an evening gown is particularly easy, so don't leave it all scrunched up on the sofa.
Commercials
Cafe: Marcie wants to stay home and pout that Karma was all "hey, remember when you kidnapped Todd's son? Neaner effing neaner."
Llanview High: Starr and Dillon continue their ripped from the headlines creepy relationship. I can maybe get they'd talk about their dead baby dead mommy connection, but now Starr is flat out gossiping about Langston. and maybe Dillon is a good guy, but grown man who listens to teen girl gossip morosely about another teen girl? sorry, I can't see that being kosher.
Llanview High: No one notices that Cole is stoned out of his mind. I think somehow Bo and Nora didn't believe Matthew when he told them the truth that Cole is the stoner and not him.
St. Anne's: Jessica berates herself for letting Tess come out. Brody assures her that Tess was a good mother too and was very concerned about her baby when she was here. Jess says she's been starting to have Tess memories, and she says she hasn't told her family yet. Natalie is all angry about almost being murdered, and Vicki is trying not to become two people at all times anyway, so she can only talk to Brody.
Llanfair: Jared tries to talk Natalie down. Rex bursts in and needs to see Vicki and says he was just at Stubbsboulet and he asks about Dorian. Vicki says every time she sees him, he's blathering about David or Dorian, so does he know what she's up to. Rex bites his lip, totally surprised that his temper tantrumy bursting into a room and asking about a woman before saying hi somehow tipped his hand.
Roxie's Motel: Dorian tries to keep Jacket Guy at bay on finding David.
Commercials'
Roxie's Motel: Dorian talks with a drawl and tells Jacket Guy that David will be at the ball. She doesn't let on that she's married to him or that she even knows where he is in general.
Llanfair: Rex says he can't tell Vicki. How does Rex manage to tie his shoes? I don't hate him, but he and Lucky seem to be about as bright as each other. Natalie answers the door and gets a mysterious package. As you do from time to time in Llanview.
Llanview High: Starr heartbreakingly talks about holding Chloe and how it felt like the baby liked her. Aw. Dillon says his mom says babies love unconditionally. Dillon hops up and says he's doing some sort of study on evolution. Starr hilariously says she loves evolution. It's such a random thing to say, but it endears me to her b/c I totally geeked out on evolution at her age. She's going to be his assistant. I think she's going to assist him in a statutory rape charge, but hopefully not!
Cafe: Michael and Marcie still exist. He does sweetly formally invite her out on a date. It's cute when married people pretend to be relevant on a soap.
Gatehouse: Stacy chews the scenery and plots to take over the world. Who the hell is Stacy?
Buchansion: Bo yells at Matthew about drugs. The stupid thing about this is that yelling about drugs doesn't work on a drug user and it REALLY doesn't work on a good kid who is being called a liar for telling the truth. WAy to get your son to want a drink, BO.
LLanview High: Idiot Clueless Nora talks to super stoned Cole and says he can talk to her. and this is just the reverse of the previous scene. When adults are totally clueless about drug use, it just makes the kid feel even more lost. Oh, gawd, doosh hat shows up to give him some pills. Cole still wants the drugs.
Commercials
Llanfair: Oh, so some dude drove all the hell the way out to Llanfair to give a PARKING VOUCHER to Jessica? How very General Hospital of you, show. Anyhoo, all that matters is now Natalie and Jared now know Tess went to the hospital the night Chloe was born, and that means poor Starr gets to quit suffering, so bring on more stupid nonsense deliveries!
St. Anne's: More adorable comforting of each other.
Buchansion: Bo loudly yells at Matthew, but since he was honest and being punished, he is rightly being a jerk to them. He gives Nora the most hilarious bitchface when she yells at him, and Bo says not to disrespect her, and he just disses them both and leaves. and good for him. Shut up, Bo and Nora.
Roxie Motel: Uh...why is Roxie hallucinating that her stuffed beaver is talking to her. and, I mean a literal stuffed beaver. That's not a naughty joke. Dorian gets Jacket Guy to leave, but she seems happy that whatever her plan is...it's still very much in motion.
Commercials
Gatehouse: Gigi comes home just after Stacy stole her ticket and dress and wonders where her ticket and dress are. stoopid.
Roxie's Motel: Rex and Roxie have one of their telepathic conversations whereby he can smell that she's got a good secret. She consults her beaver and says David is upstairs.
Llanview High: Starr jubilantly starts to tell Cole about her new statutory rape project, but she tells him just as Dooshhat is handing over the pills. She leaves in disgust and sadness.
St. Anne's: Bree Williamson is so pretty. Her visit is done, and he says he'll see her at her next appointment. She glowingly smiles that she might not wait that long and will come just to see him. She leaves, and he's left with the tacit smile of a man in love.
the end
Gigi serves Michael and Marcie big plates of food, and they talk about how they are all going to the Go Red ball, and why do people ever act surprised that they are all going to the same function, when they constantly are up in each other's business anyway? Gigi is excited by her dress.
Gatehouse: Stacy meanwhile opens the dress bag and admires the unremarkable dress. Also, Gigi, ever hear of a CLOSET? It's not like ironing an evening gown is particularly easy, so don't leave it all scrunched up on the sofa.
Commercials
Cafe: Marcie wants to stay home and pout that Karma was all "hey, remember when you kidnapped Todd's son? Neaner effing neaner."
Llanview High: Starr and Dillon continue their ripped from the headlines creepy relationship. I can maybe get they'd talk about their dead baby dead mommy connection, but now Starr is flat out gossiping about Langston. and maybe Dillon is a good guy, but grown man who listens to teen girl gossip morosely about another teen girl? sorry, I can't see that being kosher.
Llanview High: No one notices that Cole is stoned out of his mind. I think somehow Bo and Nora didn't believe Matthew when he told them the truth that Cole is the stoner and not him.
St. Anne's: Jessica berates herself for letting Tess come out. Brody assures her that Tess was a good mother too and was very concerned about her baby when she was here. Jess says she's been starting to have Tess memories, and she says she hasn't told her family yet. Natalie is all angry about almost being murdered, and Vicki is trying not to become two people at all times anyway, so she can only talk to Brody.
Llanfair: Jared tries to talk Natalie down. Rex bursts in and needs to see Vicki and says he was just at Stubbsboulet and he asks about Dorian. Vicki says every time she sees him, he's blathering about David or Dorian, so does he know what she's up to. Rex bites his lip, totally surprised that his temper tantrumy bursting into a room and asking about a woman before saying hi somehow tipped his hand.
Roxie's Motel: Dorian tries to keep Jacket Guy at bay on finding David.
Commercials'
Roxie's Motel: Dorian talks with a drawl and tells Jacket Guy that David will be at the ball. She doesn't let on that she's married to him or that she even knows where he is in general.
Llanfair: Rex says he can't tell Vicki. How does Rex manage to tie his shoes? I don't hate him, but he and Lucky seem to be about as bright as each other. Natalie answers the door and gets a mysterious package. As you do from time to time in Llanview.
Llanview High: Starr heartbreakingly talks about holding Chloe and how it felt like the baby liked her. Aw. Dillon says his mom says babies love unconditionally. Dillon hops up and says he's doing some sort of study on evolution. Starr hilariously says she loves evolution. It's such a random thing to say, but it endears me to her b/c I totally geeked out on evolution at her age. She's going to be his assistant. I think she's going to assist him in a statutory rape charge, but hopefully not!
Cafe: Michael and Marcie still exist. He does sweetly formally invite her out on a date. It's cute when married people pretend to be relevant on a soap.
Gatehouse: Stacy chews the scenery and plots to take over the world. Who the hell is Stacy?
Buchansion: Bo yells at Matthew about drugs. The stupid thing about this is that yelling about drugs doesn't work on a drug user and it REALLY doesn't work on a good kid who is being called a liar for telling the truth. WAy to get your son to want a drink, BO.
LLanview High: Idiot Clueless Nora talks to super stoned Cole and says he can talk to her. and this is just the reverse of the previous scene. When adults are totally clueless about drug use, it just makes the kid feel even more lost. Oh, gawd, doosh hat shows up to give him some pills. Cole still wants the drugs.
Commercials
Llanfair: Oh, so some dude drove all the hell the way out to Llanfair to give a PARKING VOUCHER to Jessica? How very General Hospital of you, show. Anyhoo, all that matters is now Natalie and Jared now know Tess went to the hospital the night Chloe was born, and that means poor Starr gets to quit suffering, so bring on more stupid nonsense deliveries!
St. Anne's: More adorable comforting of each other.
Buchansion: Bo loudly yells at Matthew, but since he was honest and being punished, he is rightly being a jerk to them. He gives Nora the most hilarious bitchface when she yells at him, and Bo says not to disrespect her, and he just disses them both and leaves. and good for him. Shut up, Bo and Nora.
Roxie Motel: Uh...why is Roxie hallucinating that her stuffed beaver is talking to her. and, I mean a literal stuffed beaver. That's not a naughty joke. Dorian gets Jacket Guy to leave, but she seems happy that whatever her plan is...it's still very much in motion.
Commercials
Gatehouse: Gigi comes home just after Stacy stole her ticket and dress and wonders where her ticket and dress are. stoopid.
Roxie's Motel: Rex and Roxie have one of their telepathic conversations whereby he can smell that she's got a good secret. She consults her beaver and says David is upstairs.
Llanview High: Starr jubilantly starts to tell Cole about her new statutory rape project, but she tells him just as Dooshhat is handing over the pills. She leaves in disgust and sadness.
St. Anne's: Bree Williamson is so pretty. Her visit is done, and he says he'll see her at her next appointment. She glowingly smiles that she might not wait that long and will come just to see him. She leaves, and he's left with the tacit smile of a man in love.
the end
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