GH Recap 2/12: Dead to Me Daiquiri

Dead to Me Daiquiri
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/2 ounce lemon juice
dash of Maraschino liquer
1 1/4 ounces light rum
17 gallons of orange juice

Mix all ingredients with fine cracked ice in mixer or vigorously by hand. Strain through a dampened wash cloth into crystal glass. Angrily throw it at the fireplace.

Claud has aimlessly wandered to a stairwell, but Trevor finds her.

Jason seems to be injured in some other slightly burning stairwell.

Maxie holds Emma and lies that her mommy is on the way.

Chewbecca explains that it's just a coincidence that she looks like this Emily person. Nik pathetically says "No it's more. YOu look just like the woman I love more than life." and we have vomit.

Credits.

MercyPD: I can only assume this police department is like Mercy hospital...the other one people go to for no apparent reason sometimes. Luke and Teethan remain annoying.

Mercy Hospital: Maxie keeps yammering to Emma. Poor Emma is probably wishing for deafness at this point. Johnny and Robin show up. Maxie is relieved, but Robin looks terrified.

Snowy Roof: Lots of really fake snow falls quickly all over the place, thereby increasing its fakiness. Patrick has put people on the Jaxicopter, I guess, and then he tells Nadine and Shawn Douglas that they need to scatter b/c the hospital can't support more than 2 people in any one place at any one time, and also, more gossiping and idle chatting, less saving lives! Nadine says "will do" and they lumber off to a stairwell.

PCPD Shack: Weenie is already off the roof? Didn't we JUST see the helicopter...oh, nevermind, she probably took the magic chute off of it that Jax did yesterday. She and Mac talk about stuff. I can only assume it's stupid stuff.

Stairwell: Trevor and Claud sit around chatting. Trevor continues his Frank Gorshanian performance. He keeps cartooning about the biotoxin, but won't he also die if he drops it? Like, wouldn't this be scarier if he had a respirator? Hey Trevor, if you are going to eat all that scenery, you should probably drink some water! Trevor says her secret is going to die with her.

Wheel's Previous Room: It's also on fire in one or two spots that aren't getting bigger or smaller b/c that's how fire works. Ask Australia! Wheels is gone, and Jason has to find him to save Spinelli.

Was Nik in a helicopter earlier? because his tie is slightly loosened. Chewbecca is pretty bored and mostly grossed out by being stared at. She probably also thinks Nik is a gross chump because he's being all breathy and whiny and hateable. I forgot how much I loathed Nik when he was in lurve with Emily. Chewbecca finally gets sick of talking to this weirdo and turns to go, but Nik suggests that she might be related to Emily. Well, yes, IDENTICAL twins usually do have at least both parents in common. and people NEVER are identical otherwise...so it is logical.

Commercials

Mercy Hospital: Robin tries not to run from the room and manages to pick up Emma. Emma immediately begins to sob uncontrollably, causing Robin to wilt that she's still the worst mom ever. Maxie tearfully watches, maybe beginning to realize that something is wrong.

Nik and Chewbecca bicker a bit. Well, he tries to crawl into her pocket, and she tries to shake him off her pant leg.

Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Sam has aimlessly wandered over to Spinelli, so that he can consult his Laptop.

Ric has been here all this time? Man, he's done some seriously good aimless wandering b/c this is the first I've seen him. He lumbers over to Lucky, and they gossip slowly. Olivia and her stupid skirt wanders over to say "Kate is stuck in a wheelchair" I mean, unless Olivia meanly covered the floor around Kate with thumbtacks, how is she "stuck" also, why didn't she just wheel her over here when she left over there? Patrick randomly runs into all of them and yells at them that they have to get on the helicopter.

Stairwell: Claud magically has enough energy to scuffle with Trevor. He throws her down the stairs, and she lies there in a pathetic heap. He says his best escape is the roof. Then he adjusts his stupid cod piece and cape and flounces up the stairs.

Commercials

MercyPD: So now Luke and Teethan are in jail and endlessly talking and talking and being endlessly unfunny. Remember when Seinfeld sort of lost it's mind and ended the show with all four of them in jail. There's no particular point to my comment, but I just want to talk about anything but Luke and that other guy. Is Luke trying to get into that guard's pants, though? Why did they go all the way to some other town?

GH: Trevor runs around calling for his father but he does it weirdly. He's like moving quickly, as if the building is on fire and things are dire. I wonder why he's acting like this? Trevor ambles out of the shadows and for no apparent reason very cruelly says Sonny was always more loved than he was. Trevor says it was rigged from the start that way. Then he walks right towards the fire. Ric leaves, and again he makes no sense, because he rushes AWAY from fire. Ric is weird.

Mercy: Dr. Bald tells Robin about Emma's prognosis. Robin tries to become invisible and sneak away, so she can't quite pay attention. Maxie leaves with Johnny and talk about Spinelli some more.

Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli picks up his laptop and starts pacing, because it's really easy to type when you do that, I guess. Nik shows up and apparently he's going to do little else than talk about Rebeffoff for the rest of time. Sam fluffs her hair and says she hasn't seen her. Heh. That's awesome that Sam is so totally bored that there is a DoppleEmily.

Stairwell: Jason is sort of weird like Ric b/c he too keep rushing around when he moves. I don't get it. He's also not sat around and gossiped much. Does he not know about the fire? He stumbles upon Claud, and she whines that he's not going to help her.

Commercials

Please Just Kill Me PD: Nina and Pointless yammer. I feel bad for ever mocking anything in my life. If I had known that this subplot would ever be a thing, I would have been nicer. Why do they have popcorn.

What IS awesome, however, is that Olivia and everyone abandoned stupid Kate in some red hallway. Kate, unlike Ric and Jason, DOES understand how to behave in a fire, so she just sits there and hollers out "helloooooo" Trevor shows up to be comic booky and cartoony and OBVIOUSLY about to die. I don't mean that as a spoiler, but when a character talks to EVERYONE in one day and isn't Sam? About to die. It's always the case.

Stairwell: Jason plops Claud down on the floor. Did the plow pox affect their lungs AND knees or something? She sees he's been shot and worries it was her father, but he says it's none of her beeswax.

I honestly already forgot what just happened, so pointless and likely stupid it was.

Mercy: Maxie watches Robin tearfully holding Emma. Emma is sleeping and probably dreaming of igloos. Aw, she is super cute though, with those smoochable cheeks. Robin says Emma will be fine. Maxie leaves to take Johnny to GH. It FINALLY occurs to Robin to sing to her baby. I mean, isn't that why people have babies? the sweet singing? Robin also finally seems to be able to relax her face a bit, wathcing her baby sleep so peacefully.

Snowy Roof: Lots of fake snow. Patrick asks Jax to make sure Robin is okay. What does that even mean? Why can't Spinelli just post to GHfireupdates.com? Ric hotly gets on the helicopter. Patrick asks about his dad, and Ric hotly shrugs and says "what about him." atta boy!

Commercials

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaPD: I wonder what they could do to make me care less about these people?

Mercy Hospital: Oh, no, Robin has stopped singing is back to really long monologues. Babies totally love monologues! When in doubt, recite Portia's speech from Merchant of Venice. They love that one. Robin says she loves her. Dr. Bald shows up and says if the baby isn't better, she'll have to make a decision now. I'm not sure why he's so angry about this. Is he a bad actor, or does he just know that Robin is the worst? or the more likely "both"

PCPD Shack: Maxie can now fully obsess on Spinelli, but Mac says they have to be patient.

Laptop Gurney Wetlands: Spinelli leaves Laptop behind. Something about losing the wifi connection if he walks away. He runs to check on the coast being clear. Because he has the same kind of laptop I do, which is to say it can tell you where there are fires in a building. I have never had to use it, thank heavens, but it's nice that it's there. Well, here, right now I'll do a check. (taps fingers waiting) 0h, good! The report came back that there are no fires in this building! Such a relief. I'm sort of sad seeing El Laptopo sitting all alone on the chair. I fear he may never see his buddy again.

Red Area: Trevor taunts Kate with the plow pox. but again, why would he kill himself just to kill stupid Kate? Sam finally remembers that she's only been involved with 2 or 3 sub plots today, so she rushes in. Trevor tells her not to take another step, and he leaves. Because he simply HAS to run into more people than she does today, or he loses, I guess. Sam, not to be outdone, is fast on his heels.

Nik has chased Chewbecca to a particularly sort of fire filled area. I can see being somewhat alarmed by some of the spots of fire in this room. She has this unattractive choky shout in her voice. Sort of like she's about the hike the ball. She tells him to quit following her. He's so creepy and gross and desperate that you can smell it on him over the smoke. She stands there and lets the ceiling fall on her, so over his stalking is she. I can't really blame her. Nik stares at the squushy spot that used to be Rebecca.

Commercials

GH: Some guys dressed in big yellow coats with yellow helmets rush into the building. Wonder who the hell they are and what they do? Why are they carrying hoses?

Maxie idiotically says she's going to save Spinelli. Even though it's a 15 story building and everyone is wandering around constantly...and it's on fire.

Patrick rushes to find Spinelli, but he only finds the laptop.

Kate just sat there after Trevor left with the plow pox. Kate is so lame. She does tells Jason about the plow pox.

Roof: Sam tells Trevor they won't let him on the copter with the poison. He says he'll drop it over the side. Um, but then they'll kill you. Trevor is so annoying.

but then the best scene ever happens. Rebecca is stuck under some sort of cardboard shelving. She's still talking like the beefiest center in the NFL, and she pounds on the floor and says the fire is getting closer. She barks hoarsely "don lemme burhnnnn" and I wish I was watching this on the dvr TV b/c I'd watch that 12 times in a row and laugh and laugh and laugh. What is up with her voice? Nik, meanwhile, futzes about like he isn't made of muscles and has no idea how to lift heavy things.

thankfully, the end