Wyndermere: Nadine and Nik have one of this idiotic conversations whereby she blathers about some sort of rhyme. Something about a horse lost a shoe. I don't know. She thinks it's bad luck. I think DUH it's bad luck. That's like saying "omg, I got a flat tire, that means bad luck."
Sam's Apartment: Lucky shows up to be gravelly voiced and whiny and pouty and even if Sam wasn't already sick of him she would become so at this point.
Crimson: Meth Addict Maxie says she re-wrote the Espadrille article, and he was right, it was better. Spinelli panics because something has gone wrong with El Laptopo.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny is dressed for job interviews. She tells him to think positive. He hopes the interviewer has never heard of him. I think when random women on a Christmas tree lot have heard of the Zaccara's, then it's unlikely everyone hasn't.
Corinthaus: If I hear Jerry says "the window to your soul" one more time, I'm going to vomit. Claud calls Jerry a psycho, but then she clambors up onto the window ledge at the terrace and reaches around for the bag of puzzle pieces. Sonny walks in and asks if she thinks he doesn't know what she's looking for.
Credits
Wyndermere: Nadine poutily says that she knows he thinks superstitions are silly. What kind of idiot is sort of hurt if someone isn't all that traumatizd by a black cat walking by? Nik says he never gives knives as gifts or shakes hands through an open door. Watching these two is like watching The Simpsons. It all starts off where Lisa's horse lost a shoe, and then Bart rambles on about broken mirrors, but then it turns out the whole episode is really about some business man. It has all that disjointedness but none of the post-modern self-reflection. or enjoyableness.
Crimson: Maxie writes her article about shoes. This is a very shoe-heavy episode. Piano guy ploncks along merrily as Spinelli and Maxie type. If Spinelli and Maxie's keyboards were hooked up to musical keyboards, I imagine this would all sound like a John Davidson orchestral piece. I have no idea what's going on, but Spinelli sneezes. They really need to lay off the meth, these two.
Sams' Apartment: Sam has to hide a business card and tell lies to Lucky because she is so out of her mind bored with life unless she's lying or doing something dangerous. I was sad when her baby died, but I'm sort of relieved that her oddly placed uterus was shot.
Corinthaus: blah blah. Somehow Claud doesn't have to explain why she's climbing the walls like a crazy person. She manages to deflect and ask if Sonny is concerned about Kate.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Sam says whatever she's hiding is not illegal. Lucky angrily asks if she didn't learn her lesson from Jerry or following the Russian mob. Sam says she doesn't want to fight about this. He says he and Liz appreciate that she saved Jakeson, and if she's upset that he spent New year's Eve with her. She practically snorts in his face and says that's not it, she's glad he could help her. then she rapels out of the room. Not really. But she clearly wants to.
Crimson: Why does Spinelli have a cold? Why is that a plot point? Why is Maxie wearing a thousand bobbie pins in her hair? It's terrifying looking. Looloo odddly shows up to work. It's odd because she does it. They hear the elevator ding, so they rush to hide Spinelli. Kate comes in to get Maxie's article and her messages. She reveals she knows he's there. I think we are supposed to be amused.
Corinthaus: Claud is dressed like she's going to meet a bunch of thugs and have a dance off to regain territory, like MJ suggested in the 80's. Okay, so we just established that it's first thing in the morning b/c Loo brought coffee, and she and Maxie were at work before kate. But now Sonny and Claud are drinking bourbon. I only comment b/c he's the jerkweed who used to say AJ had a drinking problem. Sonny confides that yesterday was Chucky's birthday. He says his son is in a coma forever, and it puts things into perspective. Except...clearly it doesn't because Sonny is not doing anything to simply enjoy the people he actually loves that are not in comas. He says he likes the drapes, meaning he thinks Claud was climbing the walls b/c she was going to redecorate. Sonny has become Luckydumb.
Wyndermere: blah blah phone call. blah blah the plow patent is licensed to the Equinox corporation. Nik says they are a weapons manufacturer. Wait, not that I could give less of a rat's ass about this effing plow, but why is the patent licensed to anyone besides Raylene and now Nadine? Or is this one of those things where it turns out those pesky Indians from Spoon Island have been up to shennanigans again? Anywho, if Nadine ends up making an Iron Man suit, consider me gone.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Sam tries to assure Lucky that she knows his kids come first, and she knows Liz comes with the package. Lucky's phone rings, and he leaves immediately without even letting her finish a sentence. That would get old so quickly, if my husband had a phone like that.
Docks: Spinelli stumbles upon a girl talking to herself and typing on La Laptopa. She reminds me a bit of Molly Shannon in the face, and she has braids and glasses, so we know she's a nerd. Attractive people aren't able to understand computers, you see.
Corinthaus: Claud continues to run through the maze to find a bag of puzzle pieces, so she can build the Gabonese hut and win immunity. Ric hotly startles her.
Crimson: Kate and Jax look over headshots to find the right model. There is a lot of leopard print going on in this town today. Jax "hilariously" draws a mustache on a model's face and says they should go with something like that. Hot people are so annoying when they try to be funny. Kate and Jax flirt and flit about and Sonny shows up to be a big, grumpy, wet blanket.
Commercials
Wyndermere: blah blah how did a defense contractor get the patent. Nik says it explains the money. Nadine's phone rings, and it's Mr. Corday. She speaks like a mental patient and keeps repeating what he says so that Nik knows what's being said. I wish it was Mr. Corddry instead. Rob or Nate would do.
Docks: Nerdina thanks The Jackal for fixing her computer, and then she takes off.
Corinthaus: Claud angrily tells Ric that he had a decent childhood and a world class education. This marriage is giving her real power for the first time in her life. Gawd that's sad. She says Sonny is nicer to her than most men in her life have been. That's even sadder. Ric asks if she means him. She asks him to let her in on any plans he knows Wheels has. Ric hotly asks why Wheels would tell him anything. Claud says it would be to pit Ric against Sonny and make him feel important. Ric hotly scoffs that she has an overactive imagination. He drinks a bottle of Perrier and looks more nervous than a virgin in a pickle barrel. Claud picks up on this and tells him he can't trust her father. Even if John is really out of the picture, Wheels is not trust worthy. He asks her to tell him the plan, and they can hotly work out a side deal together. She pulls him into a quick kiss, but he says he doesn't know what she's talking about. He nervously gulps the water because that's not a guilty indicator at all. He leaves. and it's not exactly hot the way he leaves, but that just is because he's a good actor, and that is hot, so...he hotly leaves.
Johnny's Interviews: It's not going well. We only see Johnny's end of the interviews. He starts off with the typical cliche "people person, go getter" and then angrily says he's not his father. then he hilariously stands up and says with a tough guy accent "You want someone to keep jumping through hoops? Hire a monkey" and then he picks up a handful of pencils from the pencil holder and tosses them on the ground. heh.
Crimson: Sonny blah blah talks to Kate, and she tells him to go talk to his wife, and that is almost awesome, even for kHate. Sonny leaves and Maxie apologizes for letting him in. Kate says it's okay and tells Jax she hopes Sonny won't be back. She doesn't look remotely convinced that she means it, though.
Commercials
Wyndermere: Nik and Nadine meet with Mr. Corday. He wants to renew the license on the patent and gives Nadine a honking big check and will be back in 4 yeas when the license expirres. Nik says Mr. Corday is assuming a lot, and they are just getting started.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny comes him with a bloody knuckle and tells Loo it went badly, and he slammed a hole in the wall on the way out of one place. Why can't he just say his name is Johnny Jerome and get fake id's and stuff. If he hates his name, why keep it?
Sam's Apartment: Sam has summoned Spinelli to ask for help with the FBI guy that was asking her questions. she needs to know if he was investigating Spinelli. Spinelli believes he's lost his Jackalian prowess. Sam is very worried about him, and he leaves saying all is lost.
Corinthaus: OMG, SHUT THE EFF UP WITH THE EFFING WINDOW TO YOUR BLOODY SOUL BS. As per usual, Claud doesn't bother to check if anyone is home or just pulled up in the driveway, and she starts rattling around the house and knocking on mirrors. Sonny reasonably asks her what the hell she is doing now.
Commercials
Docks: Spinelli laments that El Laptopo has died. Buoy Boy clangs miserably. Nerdina has followed Spinelli and watches him with hero worship eyes. Maxie walks up and asks her why she's spying on Spinelli.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Looloo puts a wash cloth on Johnny's knuckle to stop the bleeding. I don't think Julie Berman has ever been around any sort of injury in her life because she oddly dabs the cloth on and takes it off over and over. They start to get frisky, but Lucky shows up with a warrant for Johnny's arrest. The hell? Wouldn't he call first to make sure they were even home? And why say "PCPD" when he knocked. on his sister's door?
Wyndermere: Nadine asks point blank if Equinox uses the patent to make plows. He says he can't answer. She tears up the check and says that they can't have her aunts invention then. He says it's not that simple. But the music they use is Stings of Silliness, and not Ominous Musings in D Minor, so we know it is very likely this simple.
Corinthaus: Sonny tells Claud that he will find out if she's hiding anything. He flashes the dimples, but the Drumbeats of Danger sound, so we know it's serious. Meanwhile, the stupid bag of puzzle pieces have fallen lose from the back of the mirror. Claud manages to react as minimally as possible so as not to draw Sonny's attention. Luckily, his back is turned. And also, he's kind of an idiot.
The End
Showing posts with label Sam and Lucky. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sam and Lucky. Show all posts
Friday, January 2, 2009
Friday, December 12, 2008
GH recap 12/12: Take a Step That is New
Corinthaus: I don't understand where this dining room is? I like that Sonny is the only person rich enough to actually afford a separate room for eathing. Poor Nik has to eat, work, have sex and change clothes all in that one room. Claud is dubious about Sonny's intentions. He claims he just likes making lunch.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Spinelli repeats his protest about Johnny jacktrippering into Looloo and Maxie's house. Maybe because Spinelli believes that he's better at tripping over furniture than Johnny?
Sams' Apartment: Sam tries to play off pulling away from Lucky's kiss as if it's no big deal.
Courthouse: Liz tearfully asks why Jason wants her to know that he kills people for a living, and he tearfully says b/c it explains why they can never see each other again.
Credits
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny agrees with Spinelli that he should get a life and his own place. Looloo says Maxie already agreed that John can move in. She did? She's dumb. It's ANNOYING to have a live in roommate who doesn't pay rent or utilities, but just drinks the milk and eats the food and uses the hot water. Spinelli is worried that Maxie will get caught in her underwear, and Maxie says it's cute that he's jealous.
Corinthaus: Sonny says that it's not like anyone in her family treats her like respect, and he's going to at least do that much as her husband. She remains dubious. But she does drink her wine.
Sam's Apartment: Sam doesn't seem to understand the concept of "upstate NY in winter". What's with the tank top. Sam explains the case that opened 3 minutes ago is now closed. Lucky stupidly thinks that's great. Sam says The Russians and The Dangers still exist. He doesn't want her to be involved, but she only likes the way her stilletto heels sound on the Yellow Brick Road.
Courthouse: Liz angrily says she knows how much danger Cam and Jakeson were in. She sobs and says she thought their love would create a magic shield around them. Jason says he should have left her alone, but she says he tried to warn her, but she ignored her kids b/c she wanted to be with him. Jason admits they are both responsible. Tears fall down her lovely, alabaster skin as he says they now know what to do. "There can be no contact with me, you, Jakeson." I guess Cameron is still cannon fodder, though.
Commercials
Ducktard Junction: Nik has been making funeral arrangements for Alfalfa. That is actually incredibly generous, loving and kind. Nadine and her hideous shirt are in shock. I think it's a leopard print shirt, but instead of gold and black, it's a teal, maroon, cream and black. It's like someone was in a really bad mood and had some ugly paints to throw at fabric. Maybe this is what Liz made in her studio the other day.
Sam's Apartment: Lucky chastises Sam for going after more danger. Sam says he puts his life in danger daily. he angrily says she's a civilian. Sam angrily says she can go places cops can't. He yells she should join the department, and she retorts they would never hire her with her background. hello, it's call the WSB. It's like no one knows about the secret military ops that rules this town. Like how they never bring up the coven of rock star vampires. Lucky leaves in anger. As he does.
Courthouse: Jason offers to put Liz up, but she tearfully says she can support her kids. he holds back tears and says he will never see his son again, and Jakeson won't have his name, so please let him provide for his future. Liz's eyes fill with tears and she promises a safe life for Jakeson. She promises not to call or try to see him. She's sorry it took her so long to see the truth. She's sorry she hurt her boys and him, she's sorry for her own selfishness. Jason tries not to cry, but tears spill down his cheeks, and he says he was selfish too. He turns to leave and stare in private. A single tear dribbles down Liz's cheek as she stares at the place he once stood.
Commercials
Casa de 3's a crowd: Maxie continues to argue in favor of having a free-loading roommate. Shut UP, Maxie. Let Spinelli take the bullet and do your dirty work and get rid of an extra roommate! Looloo snots that Johnny gave up his trust fund, so he has to live here. Loo and John go to her room. Maxie says she's really cool with it, and asks him to help her measure the mantle. Maxie says it could get crazy, but Johnny's hot, so who cares. Well, that is a good point.
Corinthaus: Ric has hotly shown up in a gray suite and red tie to flirt with Claud some more. When did Sonny get this ugly furniture? Has it always been this pidge podge of hideous orange tones? Claud insists it wasn't her idea to marry Sonny, but she's going to make the best of it. She naively says that some day Sonny is going to share his new power with her. Ric hotly holds his face in his hands and says Sonny just married her to get the power. He admits that Sonny may sleep with her, but he's not going to share anything. Claud mockingly asks if Ric is asking her to be faithful to him. He hotly says yes, as if it's the smartest thing she could do. Also? I would think it would be the easiest thing she's ever done. And Claudia? only owns black and red and I'm saying only sleeping with Ric is much easier than picking out her outfits, which she clearly does blindfolded. also...the blindfold would probably be fun in the sack with Ric.
Courthouse: Liz sits after her interview and stares into space, her eyes welling with tears. Lucky shows up. She tells him she just had the last conversation she'll ever have with Jason. Lucky sits down and asks why she would say that. I think Lucky has learned that rhetorical questions make people sound smart, and also, rhetorical questions are a good way to learn about stuff if people will answer them. Not that Lucky uses the word "rhetorical" in his mind, of course. Liz explains that Jason wanted her to learn about how jakeson would have died if Sam hadn't gotten him out. Lucky stupidly and angrily asks what that would have proved (um, the point you've tried to make 800 times to her, you dolt!) Liz says Jason was making a point, an effective point. She says if Jason hadn't broken it off, she was going to.
Random Boxing Ring: Jason is in some random room. Is this a room in the Penthouse? down the hall from the Unfortunate Pink Room? Regardless, he punches a punching bag with a great deal of vigor. Alas, he doesn't do it shirtless. I really don't understand the point of a soap character who doesn't angrily punch while shirtless. Nick on Y&R would be in boxer briefs for this scene, is what I'm saying.
Commercials
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Loo and John enter Loo's new room. Geesh, if this is the "big" room, I feel bad for Maxie. also, how vile to rent an apartment that comes with a mattress. Throw that creepy thing OUT post haste! but instead they just passionately collapse on the old, used sheets.
Ducktard Junction: Someone named Eric shows up, and Nadine is glad to see him. Nik is bored....oh, sorry, I mean jealous.
Jason's Penthouse: Carly shows up in a trenchcoat. Back in the day, she'd have a negligee on under that coat. Carly sensed something is wrong. Jason says he can never be with Liz and can never be a father to Jakeson. Carly is confused and says she thought he made that decision when Chucky was shot. He admits he's been meeting with Liz in secret. Dude, you met like 3 times with her in secret. Stupid show. Jason sits and says after the newest The Danger, he can't be with her. Carly decides to actually be a good friend and not insult Liz and asks him to talk to her.
Corinthaus: Ric says Claud is opening herself up for a world of misery, and he can't stand to watch it. Claud says she'd be sad to miss him. She reasonably asks what he wants her to say. She's only ever trusted her brother, so now she's supposed to trust him b/c they are outsiders and great in bed. He hotly says that's exactly what he's saying. She thinks maybe he just wants to take his brother's wife. He gets hotly insulted and starts to leave. She begs him to stay and reminds him she's a contradictory mess and that he knew that going in. She says she still thinks their being together is a hotass goal, but she needs time to get what she needs from Sonny.
Metrocourt: If every line Kate and Sonny uttered meant $3000 was donated to the charity of my choice, I still don't think I could pay attention. Mostly because fashionista kHate is wearing the ugliest top ever. It's like she put on an ugly white long sleeved shirt, with a hideous ruffle collar, and then an ugly black vest with gray slanted stripes, and then someone cut off the long sleeves of the white shirt, but left some of the white shirt sticking out past the edge of the vest. I hate it. I hate her hair, too. She tells Sonny she slept with Jax. He has the nerve to be hurt. She manages to tell him to stuff his sorries in a sack and leaves.
Commercials
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Spinelli points out that Maxie's room is only a foot smaller than Loo's room. He also says she can see the harbor. He's mostly concerned that she's embracing the move for its own merits and not b/c of him and Mac. Maxie promises it's for herself she's moving. We hear Johnny and Looloo grunting and laughing. Spinelli goe sto ask them to be quiet, but Maxie says he can't interrupt them having sex. the grunts and laughs are very loud, and there is much rumbling. I hope we cut to to a scene of their moving furniture b/c otherwise, this is incredibly loud and mock-worthy sex they are having. If a guy kept shouting "yeah! Alright!" during sex, I'd have to laugh and leave. Spinelli does just that. Maxie refuses to be chased away. first investment: sound proofing!
GH: Sonny and Mike gossip about khate sleeping with Jax. Sonny hops all around like a weirdo and says he's dealing with it by finding out who shot khate. and honestly, idiot, what does it really matter? She still slept with Jax. You still will always only go to Carly. Sonny explains the stupid plan to know all of Wheel's men, and they will only....oh, you know what. I just remembered I don't care about this. I don't accept the premise that anyone is afraid of Sonny. I don't accept the premise that Claud wouldn't see through Sonny. Also, why does Sonny suddenly NOW have all kinds of patience? His best friend BEGGED him, not on bended knee b/c they don't roll like that anymore, but still, he BEGGED him for patience, but Sonny couldn't be bothered. Sonny basically is who almost got Jakeson killed, but he's not in trouble in the least for it...yet NOW he's Mr. Patience?
Jason's Penthouse: Violins of Sorrow mournfully sound as Jason explains that his son's life was held in the balance, and he could do almost nothing to save him. He laments that nobody is safe around him. Carly remembers that she's his best friend, and just tearfully embraces him.
courthouse: Liz says she's the worst mother in the world. Lucky lies that she's not. She admits she put her needs above her kids. Lucky kindly points out that he's screwed up a lot, and she always forgives him. She smiles in appreciation of this sentiment. Liz admits that Jason set up a trust fund for Cam and Jakeson. Lucky is concerned it's mob money, but she says Jason made it look like it was coming from Emily. She says it's important that Jason be able to do this, and Lucky concedes. He says he knows she's going to make a great life for her boys, and if she ever feels like she's going to fall, he'll be there to catch her. Aw. She tearfully thanks him for being such a good friend and a good dad to the boys. he offers her a ride home.
Sam's Apartment: In the midst of all this, Sam decided to go shopping. She has some stupid kind of building with only a street entrance. Hilariously, the Russians park directly in front of her building. In what is clearly not a parking spot. She hides as Sascha and Belvedere go into her building. Then she insanely breaks into the van....the mobster van that doesn't have an alarm system, and she climbs into the back of their van. See, Sam, I'm all down with your Danger Girl thing, but you actually do need back up. Why not leave a quick text for someone before doing this incredibly stupid thing?
Commercials
Casa de 3s a crowd: the laughing and giggling continues. Maxie tries not to be annoyed. She then clops down the incredibly long hallway to call Loo and John rude...omg, how gigantic is this place? I'm guessing it's around 1400 square feet, which for a "crappy" 2 bedroom apartment is insanely huge. Oh, I was right. Loo and John were just moving furniture.
Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny talk about trust and such. he agrees with her that it's needed. She says someone has to make the first move, and he leans in for a kiss.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli comes home, and Jason is all business. he wants to know about The Danger and where their money came from. The hell? they didn't do this 3 months ago when the Russians showed up? Worst Mobsters Ever! Jason asks if there are empty rooms in maxie's building. Spinelli says it's a desirable building so he doubts it. wait, what? I thought it was the only affordable place in town? I don't understand Port Charles. Jason thinks Spinelli should move out to protect Spinelli. Spinelli stands to make a case for staying, but all that matters is El Laptopo is totally being jackaled by someone else!
Sam's Apartment: Sam "hides" in the back of a van while sascha and Belvedere come out of her building. I say "hide" because don't any of you who drive bigass SUV's think you'd notice a human being breathing in your vehicle?
the end
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Spinelli repeats his protest about Johnny jacktrippering into Looloo and Maxie's house. Maybe because Spinelli believes that he's better at tripping over furniture than Johnny?
Sams' Apartment: Sam tries to play off pulling away from Lucky's kiss as if it's no big deal.
Courthouse: Liz tearfully asks why Jason wants her to know that he kills people for a living, and he tearfully says b/c it explains why they can never see each other again.
Credits
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny agrees with Spinelli that he should get a life and his own place. Looloo says Maxie already agreed that John can move in. She did? She's dumb. It's ANNOYING to have a live in roommate who doesn't pay rent or utilities, but just drinks the milk and eats the food and uses the hot water. Spinelli is worried that Maxie will get caught in her underwear, and Maxie says it's cute that he's jealous.
Corinthaus: Sonny says that it's not like anyone in her family treats her like respect, and he's going to at least do that much as her husband. She remains dubious. But she does drink her wine.
Sam's Apartment: Sam doesn't seem to understand the concept of "upstate NY in winter". What's with the tank top. Sam explains the case that opened 3 minutes ago is now closed. Lucky stupidly thinks that's great. Sam says The Russians and The Dangers still exist. He doesn't want her to be involved, but she only likes the way her stilletto heels sound on the Yellow Brick Road.
Courthouse: Liz angrily says she knows how much danger Cam and Jakeson were in. She sobs and says she thought their love would create a magic shield around them. Jason says he should have left her alone, but she says he tried to warn her, but she ignored her kids b/c she wanted to be with him. Jason admits they are both responsible. Tears fall down her lovely, alabaster skin as he says they now know what to do. "There can be no contact with me, you, Jakeson." I guess Cameron is still cannon fodder, though.
Commercials
Ducktard Junction: Nik has been making funeral arrangements for Alfalfa. That is actually incredibly generous, loving and kind. Nadine and her hideous shirt are in shock. I think it's a leopard print shirt, but instead of gold and black, it's a teal, maroon, cream and black. It's like someone was in a really bad mood and had some ugly paints to throw at fabric. Maybe this is what Liz made in her studio the other day.
Sam's Apartment: Lucky chastises Sam for going after more danger. Sam says he puts his life in danger daily. he angrily says she's a civilian. Sam angrily says she can go places cops can't. He yells she should join the department, and she retorts they would never hire her with her background. hello, it's call the WSB. It's like no one knows about the secret military ops that rules this town. Like how they never bring up the coven of rock star vampires. Lucky leaves in anger. As he does.
Courthouse: Jason offers to put Liz up, but she tearfully says she can support her kids. he holds back tears and says he will never see his son again, and Jakeson won't have his name, so please let him provide for his future. Liz's eyes fill with tears and she promises a safe life for Jakeson. She promises not to call or try to see him. She's sorry it took her so long to see the truth. She's sorry she hurt her boys and him, she's sorry for her own selfishness. Jason tries not to cry, but tears spill down his cheeks, and he says he was selfish too. He turns to leave and stare in private. A single tear dribbles down Liz's cheek as she stares at the place he once stood.
Commercials
Casa de 3's a crowd: Maxie continues to argue in favor of having a free-loading roommate. Shut UP, Maxie. Let Spinelli take the bullet and do your dirty work and get rid of an extra roommate! Looloo snots that Johnny gave up his trust fund, so he has to live here. Loo and John go to her room. Maxie says she's really cool with it, and asks him to help her measure the mantle. Maxie says it could get crazy, but Johnny's hot, so who cares. Well, that is a good point.
Corinthaus: Ric has hotly shown up in a gray suite and red tie to flirt with Claud some more. When did Sonny get this ugly furniture? Has it always been this pidge podge of hideous orange tones? Claud insists it wasn't her idea to marry Sonny, but she's going to make the best of it. She naively says that some day Sonny is going to share his new power with her. Ric hotly holds his face in his hands and says Sonny just married her to get the power. He admits that Sonny may sleep with her, but he's not going to share anything. Claud mockingly asks if Ric is asking her to be faithful to him. He hotly says yes, as if it's the smartest thing she could do. Also? I would think it would be the easiest thing she's ever done. And Claudia? only owns black and red and I'm saying only sleeping with Ric is much easier than picking out her outfits, which she clearly does blindfolded. also...the blindfold would probably be fun in the sack with Ric.
Courthouse: Liz sits after her interview and stares into space, her eyes welling with tears. Lucky shows up. She tells him she just had the last conversation she'll ever have with Jason. Lucky sits down and asks why she would say that. I think Lucky has learned that rhetorical questions make people sound smart, and also, rhetorical questions are a good way to learn about stuff if people will answer them. Not that Lucky uses the word "rhetorical" in his mind, of course. Liz explains that Jason wanted her to learn about how jakeson would have died if Sam hadn't gotten him out. Lucky stupidly and angrily asks what that would have proved (um, the point you've tried to make 800 times to her, you dolt!) Liz says Jason was making a point, an effective point. She says if Jason hadn't broken it off, she was going to.
Random Boxing Ring: Jason is in some random room. Is this a room in the Penthouse? down the hall from the Unfortunate Pink Room? Regardless, he punches a punching bag with a great deal of vigor. Alas, he doesn't do it shirtless. I really don't understand the point of a soap character who doesn't angrily punch while shirtless. Nick on Y&R would be in boxer briefs for this scene, is what I'm saying.
Commercials
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Loo and John enter Loo's new room. Geesh, if this is the "big" room, I feel bad for Maxie. also, how vile to rent an apartment that comes with a mattress. Throw that creepy thing OUT post haste! but instead they just passionately collapse on the old, used sheets.
Ducktard Junction: Someone named Eric shows up, and Nadine is glad to see him. Nik is bored....oh, sorry, I mean jealous.
Jason's Penthouse: Carly shows up in a trenchcoat. Back in the day, she'd have a negligee on under that coat. Carly sensed something is wrong. Jason says he can never be with Liz and can never be a father to Jakeson. Carly is confused and says she thought he made that decision when Chucky was shot. He admits he's been meeting with Liz in secret. Dude, you met like 3 times with her in secret. Stupid show. Jason sits and says after the newest The Danger, he can't be with her. Carly decides to actually be a good friend and not insult Liz and asks him to talk to her.
Corinthaus: Ric says Claud is opening herself up for a world of misery, and he can't stand to watch it. Claud says she'd be sad to miss him. She reasonably asks what he wants her to say. She's only ever trusted her brother, so now she's supposed to trust him b/c they are outsiders and great in bed. He hotly says that's exactly what he's saying. She thinks maybe he just wants to take his brother's wife. He gets hotly insulted and starts to leave. She begs him to stay and reminds him she's a contradictory mess and that he knew that going in. She says she still thinks their being together is a hotass goal, but she needs time to get what she needs from Sonny.
Metrocourt: If every line Kate and Sonny uttered meant $3000 was donated to the charity of my choice, I still don't think I could pay attention. Mostly because fashionista kHate is wearing the ugliest top ever. It's like she put on an ugly white long sleeved shirt, with a hideous ruffle collar, and then an ugly black vest with gray slanted stripes, and then someone cut off the long sleeves of the white shirt, but left some of the white shirt sticking out past the edge of the vest. I hate it. I hate her hair, too. She tells Sonny she slept with Jax. He has the nerve to be hurt. She manages to tell him to stuff his sorries in a sack and leaves.
Commercials
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Spinelli points out that Maxie's room is only a foot smaller than Loo's room. He also says she can see the harbor. He's mostly concerned that she's embracing the move for its own merits and not b/c of him and Mac. Maxie promises it's for herself she's moving. We hear Johnny and Looloo grunting and laughing. Spinelli goe sto ask them to be quiet, but Maxie says he can't interrupt them having sex. the grunts and laughs are very loud, and there is much rumbling. I hope we cut to to a scene of their moving furniture b/c otherwise, this is incredibly loud and mock-worthy sex they are having. If a guy kept shouting "yeah! Alright!" during sex, I'd have to laugh and leave. Spinelli does just that. Maxie refuses to be chased away. first investment: sound proofing!
GH: Sonny and Mike gossip about khate sleeping with Jax. Sonny hops all around like a weirdo and says he's dealing with it by finding out who shot khate. and honestly, idiot, what does it really matter? She still slept with Jax. You still will always only go to Carly. Sonny explains the stupid plan to know all of Wheel's men, and they will only....oh, you know what. I just remembered I don't care about this. I don't accept the premise that anyone is afraid of Sonny. I don't accept the premise that Claud wouldn't see through Sonny. Also, why does Sonny suddenly NOW have all kinds of patience? His best friend BEGGED him, not on bended knee b/c they don't roll like that anymore, but still, he BEGGED him for patience, but Sonny couldn't be bothered. Sonny basically is who almost got Jakeson killed, but he's not in trouble in the least for it...yet NOW he's Mr. Patience?
Jason's Penthouse: Violins of Sorrow mournfully sound as Jason explains that his son's life was held in the balance, and he could do almost nothing to save him. He laments that nobody is safe around him. Carly remembers that she's his best friend, and just tearfully embraces him.
courthouse: Liz says she's the worst mother in the world. Lucky lies that she's not. She admits she put her needs above her kids. Lucky kindly points out that he's screwed up a lot, and she always forgives him. She smiles in appreciation of this sentiment. Liz admits that Jason set up a trust fund for Cam and Jakeson. Lucky is concerned it's mob money, but she says Jason made it look like it was coming from Emily. She says it's important that Jason be able to do this, and Lucky concedes. He says he knows she's going to make a great life for her boys, and if she ever feels like she's going to fall, he'll be there to catch her. Aw. She tearfully thanks him for being such a good friend and a good dad to the boys. he offers her a ride home.
Sam's Apartment: In the midst of all this, Sam decided to go shopping. She has some stupid kind of building with only a street entrance. Hilariously, the Russians park directly in front of her building. In what is clearly not a parking spot. She hides as Sascha and Belvedere go into her building. Then she insanely breaks into the van....the mobster van that doesn't have an alarm system, and she climbs into the back of their van. See, Sam, I'm all down with your Danger Girl thing, but you actually do need back up. Why not leave a quick text for someone before doing this incredibly stupid thing?
Commercials
Casa de 3s a crowd: the laughing and giggling continues. Maxie tries not to be annoyed. She then clops down the incredibly long hallway to call Loo and John rude...omg, how gigantic is this place? I'm guessing it's around 1400 square feet, which for a "crappy" 2 bedroom apartment is insanely huge. Oh, I was right. Loo and John were just moving furniture.
Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny talk about trust and such. he agrees with her that it's needed. She says someone has to make the first move, and he leans in for a kiss.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli comes home, and Jason is all business. he wants to know about The Danger and where their money came from. The hell? they didn't do this 3 months ago when the Russians showed up? Worst Mobsters Ever! Jason asks if there are empty rooms in maxie's building. Spinelli says it's a desirable building so he doubts it. wait, what? I thought it was the only affordable place in town? I don't understand Port Charles. Jason thinks Spinelli should move out to protect Spinelli. Spinelli stands to make a case for staying, but all that matters is El Laptopo is totally being jackaled by someone else!
Sam's Apartment: Sam "hides" in the back of a van while sascha and Belvedere come out of her building. I say "hide" because don't any of you who drive bigass SUV's think you'd notice a human being breathing in your vehicle?
the end
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