Casa de 3's a Crowd: Looloo is dressed in a purple party dress, but she can't walk on heels. Johnny shows up and remembers they were supposed to go out tonight. How does a guy forget New Year's? Worst boyfriend ever.
Wyndermere: Nadine is still wobbly about the part where she visits her boyfriend and a butler announces her. That would get seriously super old to me super fast, I have to agree. Nik has had his invisible staff prepare a romantic dinner at home.
Crimson: Maxie is in a dither, as she has been since she became a meth addict. She should really quit snorting meth and go back to being adorable and spunky. She has computer problems and has summoned Spinelli.
Metrocourt: The Strings of Silliness pluck merrily as Carly wanders around the closed MC Bar. She finds Jax on the terrace, and he says they are closed tonight. She smiles.
Credits (Mr. Mad tootles along with the theme song from his office.)
Metrocourt: Oh, wait, what? There is a power outage? When did that happen? Why wasn't I told about this? So Jax exposits that they had to evacuate the hotel and cancel their fancy dinner for 350 people. Dang, they were going to serve surf and turf for 350? That's ambitious. Jax asks if she climbed 25 flights to see him. Well, I guess she'd have to assume that you were bizarrely hanging out in darkness.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny is going to spend all the money he's earned on giving her a magical New Year's Eve. How incredibly stupid and wasteful. They are newly dating and should be able to have a blast with some bubble bath and a bottle of Korbel.
Crimson: Maxie jitters that she lost some important file. Spinelli does that HATEABLE thing where a person says "well, let's just bust out your flash drive where you regularly back up all your important files." Would I be in a panic and crying over my computer if I were the flashdrive sort? No, I would not. Maxie manages not to bite his head off.
Haunted Star: Tracy is dressed in a lovely pink dress jacket. That lovely bluesy love song that plays when they are together sounds in the background. Luke is also dapper in a gray suit with black shirt and charcoal tie. He says his knees are raw from begging, and they need a new start for the new year. Tracy's resolve is clearly wavering, and Luke's smile looks endless, so these two may just end up together. For about 5 weeks until Tony Geary leaves again and the nonsense starts all over.
Commercials
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Looloo counts her money, but Johnny says that tonight is on him. She wants to take a cab so they can drink champagne. He says where they are going isn't far, and he can handle it. For a second, I think they are going to have an interesting conversation about drinking and driving. She calls a cab. I gotta figure it's around 9, so the phone probably says "hahahahahha, you want a cab? hahahahahahaha!" Johnny says they should just stay in.
Metrocourt: Apparently Jax gave the surf and turf to a homeless shelter. Wow, that would almost make being homeless fun. They talk about tiramisu, and then they get romantic. That's the effect it always has on me.
Crimson: Spinelli has dragged a car battery up the stairs so they can have power for the computer. They cleverly exposit that they couldn't have taken Maxie's computer to her house, where this is power because 1. her computer is on a network. but the real reason they don't say is 2. that set is already being used by Loo and Johnny. Maxie realizes that Spinelli isn't going to be able to magically fix this and begins to panic.
Haunted Star: Tracy puts her walls back up and turns away from Luke. I see more of her jacket now and realize it's even lovelier than I thought. It has a medium high collar and it ties with a sash in the front, with the knot being a bit off center. Luke and Tracy bicker. He asks her to consider how she was when she thought he was having another coronary. She snaps that this was a scam. He says she still loves him. Their love song starts, and Tracy says that nothing has changed that his other wife and love could walk back in at any moment. "then how hard would you fight for me?"
Commercials
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Johnny and Looloo are back in casual clothes. Somehow they've managed to get a pizza delivered. Or maybe they picked it up. She'd rather be drinking beer and eating pizza than in an overpriced restaurant. Also, if they didn't have reservations, exactly what restaurant do they think they'd be whooping it up in? They are happy with the simple things and smooch thusly.
Crimson: Spinelli has made it back upstairs after re-installing the car battery. He says hacking into the Crimson network. She hilariously asks "why would anyone in upstate New York have an earthquake kit?" Um, because an earthquake totally hit Port Charles in the 80's, Maxie! Maybe it was before her parents came to town. maxie, by the way, is dressed in the grooviest 40's looking suit. Wool pencil skirt, and maroon flowy blouse. I need that outfit. Maxie confides that watching Robin and Patrick being that happy, made her realize she wants that kind of happiness. She thus wrote an article about shoes that would show people she has a unique voice and is good at something, and that doing this made her feel like she was bringing her own happiness to her life. I love Maxie. Spinelli's magic gizmo squeaks at them. He asks what the title is, and she deadpans "The Death of the Espadrille" heh. Spinelli tells her sadly that the article is gone.
Wyndermere: Nadine yammers on about whatever it is she yammers about. She says she loves rack of lamb and once considered becoming a vegetarian. he tells her she can pick the chops up with her hand. So then they talk about table etiquette for 15 years. Nik says his son, Homer, does cute things sometimes. Nadine asks where Homer is tonight. Nik says he can't remember. Not really, he looks sadly at the table.
Metorcourt: Jax and Carly flirt with each other and eat tiramisu. Somehow the dessert is a metaphor for their relationship. I guess the lady fingers slept with the marscapone in Sonny's limo earlier? Jax says he doesn't know if it's worth 25 flights. She says men and women are different because women will go anywhere for their sugar. Jax says he likes watching her enjoy herself. Okay, gross.
Commercials
Metrocourt: Jax pops the champagne, as he does. He says this can't be easy for her. She thanks him for noticing. He tells her that she knew what she wanted, even if it was just dessert, so she climbed 25 flights of stairs to get it. For some reason he likes when she does whatever she wants. Shut up, Jax's inconsistency. Carly says she figured he'd be on a date with a Brazilian. He says he didn't want anything meaningless. (Brazilian women everywhere say, "right back at ya, guy") Their love song begins, and she says something about meaning.
Wyndermere: Nik is worried he's raising his son wrong. Well, yes, Nik, typically you should spend more time than 3 hours a year with a child. Nadine says he's a wonderful man with a beautiful heart. and yes, all true. But again, WHERE IS YOUR SON? At his age, if he's not in your lap a few hours a day, you aren't doing it right. They snuggle onto the sofa, and he says she sounds like Laura. Then I guess that's enough talk about stupid Homer, so they make it all about them again. They talk about resolutions. She wants to be worthy of his trust and not obsess over things she has no control over. He resolves to obsess a little less and laugh a little more, and that this will make him a better father. He asks her to spend the night with him. She reaches into her purse and pulls out her toothbrush and giggles "great idea."
Haunted Star: As per usual, Luke wants to make this about gambling. He starts a ball rolling on the roulette wheel and says "black you stay, red you go" The ball ends on black, of course, and she says it's rigged. He says it's fate, and they have something real and don't want to lose it.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: When did they get all new furniture, and how did they afford it? Johnny and Loo lounge on the sofa, and she waxes philosophic that it's odd to look to the future at New Year's without looking to the past, because how else do you learn from your mistakes without the past. But then she fails to take her own advice, and they resolve to never start the new year with regrets. So, if he, oh, I don't know, sets in motion a series of events that put a little boy in a coma....b/c it's the new year, he should just not regret it? They stare ahead at two completely different parts of the 4th "wall" of the set, and she says it's going to snow. He says he's sick of snow after the Christmas tree lot, and she giggles that they have to dress warmly and go outside. Oh, gawd. I sense a Snowball Fight of Love.
Commercials
Wyndermere: Nadine and Nik kiss on his bed, but she pulls away and yammers a bit. There seemed to be no reason for it, I guess she just needed some reassurance that this is what he wants?
Crimson: Maxie is despondent that she lost her story and doesn't think she can write another one. Spinelli says that he knows she has 2500 words just waiting to bust out of her. She says she doesn't think she can write anything as good as the article she lost. He says Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet in one night, with a quill and parchment, but he woke up and his dog had eaten it, but he managed to write an even better version. I thought he wrote it over a series of weeks while he fell in love with Gwyneth. It's a mystery. Maxie rightly points out that Shakespeare was a prolific genius. Spinelli says she is the beautiful and talented Maximista. If Shakespeare can write an entire play, then 2500 words is within her reach. She stands and says with greawt affection that her whole the more someone has known her, the less faith they have in her. "But not you. The more you trust me, the more I want to be trusted. The better you think I am, the better I want to be. I'm not sure why I'm different around you, but I'm thankful I am." Spinelli starts to tell her something, but she realizes they can see the clock tower, adn that it's almost midnight. They rush to Kate's office, and she puts her arm through his and says there's no one else she'd rather start the new year with.
Metrocourt: Jax and Carly toast to the year to come.
Casa de 3's a Crowd: Loo and John put on coats and boots and such. He teases he was hoping they'd be taking clothes off by now, not putting more on. She says they are not coming back inside until the snow falls. What if it doesn't snow? How miserable. These people are not very bright.
Haunted Star: Luke and Tracy are gambling. She says he's letting her win. She believes they are masters of their own fate. She quickly asks "when is Laura's birthday." Luke pauses and answers it's December 21st. Tracy snottily asks if Luke remembered to send her a roomful of roses. He angrily says she's the one obsessed with Laura, not him. He says she's his wife on purpose b/c she didn't divorce him. She says she can at any time. He angrily says that she should do it then. Or not do it. But quit sulking around like they are at senior prom. Tracy puts a bet on 21 for Laura and a bet on 6th, for Tracy's birthday. Luke says if it lands on 6, she takes him back. She says if it lands on 21, he gives her a divorce and leaves the country. We hear the ball land in a spot, and they make soap opery faces that reveal everything and nothing.
Commercials
Docks: Looloo and Johnny sit on a bench and stare at the harbor, and then the snow begins to fall. they get up and dance in it.
Haunted Star: Tracy looks sad about the roulette wheel. She drags all the chips from 21 to the 6 spot, and Luke tries not to gloat. The ball lands on 6, and he takes her hand and kisses it. He leans in to kiss her, but she turns her head, so he gives several kisses to her ears. Then she turns and kisses him passionately.
Wyndermere: Nadine and Nik roll around in bed and realize it's midnight and kiss.
Crimson: Nadine and Maxie celebrate the new year. He starts to kiss her, but he sneezes. She gives him a tissue and leans into him and watches the snow fall.
Metrocourt: Jax and Carly dance in candlight.
Meanwhile some dude sings about "will you be mine tomorrow?" A quick bit of googling leads me to believe it's a song called "Will you be mine" by JJ Faris. It's hard to ever find the songs used by ABC b/c they usually aren't available elsewhere.
Jax and Carly kiss and dance.
The end
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
GH Recap 12/29: The Danger is Dead....Long Live The Danger
Wedding: Robin rambles endlessly for her vows. They are very sweet, but she's really just recapping their love affair. I would be so bored at a wedding where someone did this. If she mentions a couch, I'm outta here. She promises to love him more than she did yesterday and less than she will tomorrow, and for the rest of her life.
Corinthaus: Jason asks why they have to do this every time. Jason isn't changing his business for Sonny. Sonny says Wheels is not in charge. Jason says Sonny can't trust Wheels....or Trevor or Ric. The reason I love Sonny and Jason fighting is that they can't both be right if they are different sides. It cracks me up that Jason gets the default "always right" setting, and that Sonny is an idiot. The bad news is that we all know that obviously Sonny will one day learn that Wheels shot Kate (even though Jason figured it out 10 years before it happened), and then he'll be all glib and full of himself, when really he should be embarassed that it took so long.
Metrocourt: Carly and Jax puke about their relationship.
Wedding: Patrick has found the most profound experience of his life by loving robin and Emma, and he promises to give back to her all she's given him 10 times over. He promises to love her and Emma for as long s they both live. Robin smiles tearfully up at him.
Commercials
Corinthaus: Sonny says it's a....it's a....it's amaaaazing how much you've changed. Jason says Sonny gave him the organization, and thus it's his job to run it as he sees fit. Sonny says it's a...it's amaaaazing how you justify everything. Oh, dear, now I gotta bust out the pot and the kettle again. Sonny makes a phone call. (he dials like Spinelli types, by the way, so I'm sure some poor schlub in Australia is all "G'day, Mate!") Sonny tells someone to send a shipment to Pier 17. Piano Guy plays a maudlin tune with Violin Guy. Jason says "you would challenge me like that? Today of all days. Don't you even remember?"
Wedding: Priest asks for the rings, and Shawn Douglas decides that it's hilarious to make Patrick panic and pretend to have lost the rings. Har dee effing har, oh, whoops, did I just punch your lights out, Shawn? They exchange rings. As on all soap weddings, they somehow managed to memorize the vows that go with the rings and know exactly when to say them. Then they are officially married, and they kiss! Everyone claps! I guess her water didn't break for the delivery of Emma's twin. Maybe later. They walk down the aisle to start their life together. $50 says she's chastising him about something stupid within 4 hours.
Commercials
Metrocourt Reception: Anna gets a bit teary eyed in a happy way as she and Robert say they must have done something right in their lives. Maxie remains very much in need of a valium and complains that Jason couldn't cancel the crime wave for one day and come to the wedding, and that Liz isn't there either. Mac randomly knows that Liz went out of town with her kids. Robin and Patrick show up to applause.
Sam's Apartment: jax stops by to talk about Jerry.
Corinthaus: Sonny stuttermopes that he remembers Chucky. He says he doesn't need Jason to remind him of the guilt he carries every day of his life. Well, you need SOMEONE to remind you, ding dong. Jason mutters "this is me not giving an inch" or something like that, but he says out of respect for Chucky, he won't stop The Shipment today. He says if it happens again, he will be prepared to stop The Shipment and do what he needs to do. Jason pulls out of Sonny's back door. Ok. That was a bit much, sorry.
Metrocourt: Robin does that cute thing where she starts trying on the words "my husband" for the first time. Gawd, the reason for honeymoons is so the poor friends and family of the newlyweds don't have to watch them relish saying "Husband, would you hand me my shoes?" "Why, yes, wife, I'd be happy to." Robin and Patrick share their first dance. There doesn't seem to be music playing, though.
Commercials
Wedding Reception: Robin and Patrick end their dance to what sounds like the most dreadful pop song ever. Was Rie Sinclair on strike or something? Robin and Anna dance while Robert and Robin dance. Anna tells Patrick she's glad he found her daughter. Patrick promises to be good to her. Maxie fidgets a bit because Maxie apparently has a crack addiction today. Shawn Douglas asks her to dance. Shawn D asks about Spinelli, and she says he's her friend. He says Spin is kind of weird, and Maxie says if he's going to put Spinelli down, she's done dancing. Shawn doesn't apologize but he changes the subject. Spinelli, meanwhile, watches in great pain from the bar. Robin and Robert dance, and he gives her advice. he says that making a family requires a constant presence, so don't make the mistakes he and Anna made. Robin says she doesn't blame them, and she's responsible for her own happiness. She tells him that he and Anna are officially off the hook, and they did a good job. Robert makes a cute "yay" noise and smiles gigantically at her.
Sam's Apartment: Sam is whispering something to Jax. I think it's about the drugs and the seductispying and such. Jax can't help but to believe Jerry managed to pull it off and make it look like he died. Sam sympathetically says she really doesn't think so because of where Jerry was when the boat exploded. Will someone wipe the ketchup off of Kelly Monaco's face, please? Jax says he's sorry for everything Sam went through. She insists she put herself in danger and chose the path. Jax says he's sorry just the same. Sam tells Jax that, for what it's worth, Jerry only ever spoke of Jax with love. He thanks her and leaves.
Wedding Reception: Robert watches Anna and Luke dance. Robin sits with Mac and says she hopes he didn't feel upstaged with Robert walking her down the aisle. He kindly laughs and says he feels nothing but happiness and sees nothing but all the milestones he got to be a part of in her life, and he's grateful he got to live through it all with her. sniff. She says she loves him so much, and then she cuts in on Patrick and Maxie dancing. Again with the "Hello, Husband." "Hello, Wife" She says she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it. I have to admit, I still get giggly about it, so she may be right. Robert wants to make a speech.
Commercials
Wedding Reception: Robert and Anna make loving toasts to the marriage.
Corinthaus: Sonny sits around moping.
Wedding Reception: Edward begs Luke to win Tracy back, so she'll quit making them all miserable. he says get something diamond-y and make them all believe it.
Robin and Patrick start to cut the cake, and Robert and Anna remember back to wee, adorable Robin and telling her she's a love child. The hell? Why would they say that to her. Also, Anna's hair is eighties-rific. No, it's eighties in TEXAS-rific. Robin has a squeaky little voice and tells them to just assure her they love her forever. Mr. Mad groans that it's sooo awful. Robert and Anna promise, and Robin says she fowgives them and tells them not to evew do that again. They giggle. Robert asks Anna in the present if she remembers the night they told Robin she was their daughter. Anna says "oh my God, I was just thinking that." Mr. Mad giggles and asks "what does that even mean, the night we told you you were our daughter?" I tell him it's a long story. Robin and Patrick eat cake.
Commercials
Whole Foods: Sonny has stopped by to see Chucky on his birthday, and Carly allows it. Oh, it's actually Dylan Cash. Carly sits and holds Chucky's hand and remembers once buying him every toy she could find, but Sonny trumped her by buying an ATV. She says he loves Sonny so much, and it's well deserved. Oh, I'm so totally over these idiots commending each other on being good parents WHEN THEY ARE IN A WHOLE FOODS to visit their kid. They both cry and Sonny says he's just so sorry. She says he doesn't have to keep saying that. I agree. But he COULD quit killing people and doing stuff that makes other people want to kill him and his loved ones. Carly idiotically says they make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes blow back on the people we care about, and there is nothing we can do. That is insane, that line of thinking. Or, it's at the very least the way an addict thinks. They sit around and forgive each other and themselves and then walk out the door to immediately wreak more havoc and violence. Shut up, Sonny's tears. gawd.
Sam's Apartment: Jason shows up b/c Sam beckoned him. She says Agent Raynor is still investigating the case, but she thought it was closed. Jason says that Raynor offered him immunity for rolling over on Sonny, but he turned him down. Sam says of course he did. She says that Raynor was asking about Spinelli. This bothers Jason, and he says as much. Mr. Mad does a good Jason impression and growls "It bothers me too."
Wedding Reception: Oh, dears. Spinelli fantasizes to dancing with Maxie while singing that song about loving the way you hold your knife, which is the most oddly romantic line I can think off, honestly. To love someone so much that the way they cut their food makes you feel wiggly? That's good stuff! They dance adorably. Bradford Anderson's voice is very nice, but it's a bit pageanty. I am surprised Mr. Mad is just letting this slide, until I realize he hasn't looked up. When he does, he guffaws and says "Oh, I appreciate this so much more now that I realize it's that weird little dude." Maxie jolts Spinelli out of his fantasy.
The End
Corinthaus: Jason asks why they have to do this every time. Jason isn't changing his business for Sonny. Sonny says Wheels is not in charge. Jason says Sonny can't trust Wheels....or Trevor or Ric. The reason I love Sonny and Jason fighting is that they can't both be right if they are different sides. It cracks me up that Jason gets the default "always right" setting, and that Sonny is an idiot. The bad news is that we all know that obviously Sonny will one day learn that Wheels shot Kate (even though Jason figured it out 10 years before it happened), and then he'll be all glib and full of himself, when really he should be embarassed that it took so long.
Metrocourt: Carly and Jax puke about their relationship.
Wedding: Patrick has found the most profound experience of his life by loving robin and Emma, and he promises to give back to her all she's given him 10 times over. He promises to love her and Emma for as long s they both live. Robin smiles tearfully up at him.
Commercials
Corinthaus: Sonny says it's a....it's a....it's amaaaazing how much you've changed. Jason says Sonny gave him the organization, and thus it's his job to run it as he sees fit. Sonny says it's a...it's amaaaazing how you justify everything. Oh, dear, now I gotta bust out the pot and the kettle again. Sonny makes a phone call. (he dials like Spinelli types, by the way, so I'm sure some poor schlub in Australia is all "G'day, Mate!") Sonny tells someone to send a shipment to Pier 17. Piano Guy plays a maudlin tune with Violin Guy. Jason says "you would challenge me like that? Today of all days. Don't you even remember?"
Wedding: Priest asks for the rings, and Shawn Douglas decides that it's hilarious to make Patrick panic and pretend to have lost the rings. Har dee effing har, oh, whoops, did I just punch your lights out, Shawn? They exchange rings. As on all soap weddings, they somehow managed to memorize the vows that go with the rings and know exactly when to say them. Then they are officially married, and they kiss! Everyone claps! I guess her water didn't break for the delivery of Emma's twin. Maybe later. They walk down the aisle to start their life together. $50 says she's chastising him about something stupid within 4 hours.
Commercials
Metrocourt Reception: Anna gets a bit teary eyed in a happy way as she and Robert say they must have done something right in their lives. Maxie remains very much in need of a valium and complains that Jason couldn't cancel the crime wave for one day and come to the wedding, and that Liz isn't there either. Mac randomly knows that Liz went out of town with her kids. Robin and Patrick show up to applause.
Sam's Apartment: jax stops by to talk about Jerry.
Corinthaus: Sonny stuttermopes that he remembers Chucky. He says he doesn't need Jason to remind him of the guilt he carries every day of his life. Well, you need SOMEONE to remind you, ding dong. Jason mutters "this is me not giving an inch" or something like that, but he says out of respect for Chucky, he won't stop The Shipment today. He says if it happens again, he will be prepared to stop The Shipment and do what he needs to do. Jason pulls out of Sonny's back door. Ok. That was a bit much, sorry.
Metrocourt: Robin does that cute thing where she starts trying on the words "my husband" for the first time. Gawd, the reason for honeymoons is so the poor friends and family of the newlyweds don't have to watch them relish saying "Husband, would you hand me my shoes?" "Why, yes, wife, I'd be happy to." Robin and Patrick share their first dance. There doesn't seem to be music playing, though.
Commercials
Wedding Reception: Robin and Patrick end their dance to what sounds like the most dreadful pop song ever. Was Rie Sinclair on strike or something? Robin and Anna dance while Robert and Robin dance. Anna tells Patrick she's glad he found her daughter. Patrick promises to be good to her. Maxie fidgets a bit because Maxie apparently has a crack addiction today. Shawn Douglas asks her to dance. Shawn D asks about Spinelli, and she says he's her friend. He says Spin is kind of weird, and Maxie says if he's going to put Spinelli down, she's done dancing. Shawn doesn't apologize but he changes the subject. Spinelli, meanwhile, watches in great pain from the bar. Robin and Robert dance, and he gives her advice. he says that making a family requires a constant presence, so don't make the mistakes he and Anna made. Robin says she doesn't blame them, and she's responsible for her own happiness. She tells him that he and Anna are officially off the hook, and they did a good job. Robert makes a cute "yay" noise and smiles gigantically at her.
Sam's Apartment: Sam is whispering something to Jax. I think it's about the drugs and the seductispying and such. Jax can't help but to believe Jerry managed to pull it off and make it look like he died. Sam sympathetically says she really doesn't think so because of where Jerry was when the boat exploded. Will someone wipe the ketchup off of Kelly Monaco's face, please? Jax says he's sorry for everything Sam went through. She insists she put herself in danger and chose the path. Jax says he's sorry just the same. Sam tells Jax that, for what it's worth, Jerry only ever spoke of Jax with love. He thanks her and leaves.
Wedding Reception: Robert watches Anna and Luke dance. Robin sits with Mac and says she hopes he didn't feel upstaged with Robert walking her down the aisle. He kindly laughs and says he feels nothing but happiness and sees nothing but all the milestones he got to be a part of in her life, and he's grateful he got to live through it all with her. sniff. She says she loves him so much, and then she cuts in on Patrick and Maxie dancing. Again with the "Hello, Husband." "Hello, Wife" She says she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it. I have to admit, I still get giggly about it, so she may be right. Robert wants to make a speech.
Commercials
Wedding Reception: Robert and Anna make loving toasts to the marriage.
Corinthaus: Sonny sits around moping.
Wedding Reception: Edward begs Luke to win Tracy back, so she'll quit making them all miserable. he says get something diamond-y and make them all believe it.
Robin and Patrick start to cut the cake, and Robert and Anna remember back to wee, adorable Robin and telling her she's a love child. The hell? Why would they say that to her. Also, Anna's hair is eighties-rific. No, it's eighties in TEXAS-rific. Robin has a squeaky little voice and tells them to just assure her they love her forever. Mr. Mad groans that it's sooo awful. Robert and Anna promise, and Robin says she fowgives them and tells them not to evew do that again. They giggle. Robert asks Anna in the present if she remembers the night they told Robin she was their daughter. Anna says "oh my God, I was just thinking that." Mr. Mad giggles and asks "what does that even mean, the night we told you you were our daughter?" I tell him it's a long story. Robin and Patrick eat cake.
Commercials
Whole Foods: Sonny has stopped by to see Chucky on his birthday, and Carly allows it. Oh, it's actually Dylan Cash. Carly sits and holds Chucky's hand and remembers once buying him every toy she could find, but Sonny trumped her by buying an ATV. She says he loves Sonny so much, and it's well deserved. Oh, I'm so totally over these idiots commending each other on being good parents WHEN THEY ARE IN A WHOLE FOODS to visit their kid. They both cry and Sonny says he's just so sorry. She says he doesn't have to keep saying that. I agree. But he COULD quit killing people and doing stuff that makes other people want to kill him and his loved ones. Carly idiotically says they make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes blow back on the people we care about, and there is nothing we can do. That is insane, that line of thinking. Or, it's at the very least the way an addict thinks. They sit around and forgive each other and themselves and then walk out the door to immediately wreak more havoc and violence. Shut up, Sonny's tears. gawd.
Sam's Apartment: Jason shows up b/c Sam beckoned him. She says Agent Raynor is still investigating the case, but she thought it was closed. Jason says that Raynor offered him immunity for rolling over on Sonny, but he turned him down. Sam says of course he did. She says that Raynor was asking about Spinelli. This bothers Jason, and he says as much. Mr. Mad does a good Jason impression and growls "It bothers me too."
Wedding Reception: Oh, dears. Spinelli fantasizes to dancing with Maxie while singing that song about loving the way you hold your knife, which is the most oddly romantic line I can think off, honestly. To love someone so much that the way they cut their food makes you feel wiggly? That's good stuff! They dance adorably. Bradford Anderson's voice is very nice, but it's a bit pageanty. I am surprised Mr. Mad is just letting this slide, until I realize he hasn't looked up. When he does, he guffaws and says "Oh, I appreciate this so much more now that I realize it's that weird little dude." Maxie jolts Spinelli out of his fantasy.
The End
Saturday, December 27, 2008
GH Recap 12/26: I Going to the Chapel (again)
It's Robin and Patrick's wedding day.
Jason tells Spinelli that the Russians are leaving town. Spinelli thinks this means that Jason and Sonny can return to brokebacking, but Jason looks dubious.
Corinthaus: Meanwhile, Sonny is up to no good, and speaks on the phone about having a shipment land at Pier 17, which is Jason's territory. Claud says this is ill conceived.
Emma's Closet: Maxie is a hurricane of lines. She says an entire page long monologue as one long word, and promises it will be the happiest day of Robin's life if it kills her. She says it cheerfully, with gusto, but it is also clearly a threat. Robin picks up Emma and Mac remembers back to the Dreadful Day that Robin broke the news to him that she's HIV positive. In the present Mac says that no matter how hard he tried to hope, he was always afraid this day would never come, which makes it more precious. He smooches Emma's forehead.
Sam's Hospital Room: Lucky shows up to be pouty and sulky. I'm not saying he doesn't have the right to be, I'm just saying Greg Vaughn in a pretty lousy actor for scenes like this and confuses talking in a low voice with emoting. Sam tries to explain why she didn't call him and did something as dangerous as getting into a mobster's van, but there is no excuse, so she can only make lame ones. He says he's glad she's okay and leaves.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason is in a good mood, for him. He sits on the sofa and puts his feet up because he naively believes that because The Danger left town it means there is not a new The Danger on its way in. Or already here, as the case may be.
Corinthaus: Claud thinks it's selfish for Sonny to go to Robin's wedding and rain on her happy day, since he's evil and bride's get shot or left at the alter whenever he's involved. Heh, that's sort of awesome that she just called him on that. Sonny asks what's up with her and the laptop. Since when is sitting in a living room with a laptop suspicious? Isn't that why laptops exist? He whispers that he's going to find out what she's trying to hide. Then he annoyingly flashed the dimples and winks at her and makes a gotcha click with his mouth. and then to show he's a really super good actor, he drops the smile. Oh, do you see what he did there? He pretended to be happy and charming, but really he is quite angry with her. Man, that Maurice Bernard, it's like he's taken every acting lesson there is! He asks her to just come clean with her secret. If I were Claud I'd just say I had a bad online porn habit and leave it at that. But also, if I were claud, I'd watch the DVD's in my own room and not in the living room/office. Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud skips the porn thing, but says that she wants to have sex, so she has to sneak around. Sonny says it's icky to sneak around with Ric. Claud says "that girl Elizabeth Webber really did a number on him, and he still believes in love." Um, then why did he try to kill Liz and feed her birth control pills, and what else was it? oh, right, PANIC ROOM. Claud says love at first sight doesn't happen. Sonny says she's wrong and uses Robin and Stone as an example. Ah, yes, and look how well that turned out, Sonny. Sonny gets annoyed with himself for confiding in Claud about Stone, so he leaves in a huff. Leaving Claud to carefully file away that tidbit to use to her advantage at will. (or also, never b/c she's a stupid woman and is only useful for falling in love with men for no reason. but on a GOOD show, she'd be filing that info away)
Bridal Room: Anna and Robin get ready (again) for the wedding. Chapel: Mac and Robert hang out, being dapper in the tuxes. Mac realizes Robert is incredibly nervous. Roberts says that Mac has done all the tough stuff raising Robin, and he never thanked him for that. he hasn't? hasn't he been back from the dead for quite awhile now? What a jerk.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie and her faux fur show up to pick up Spinelli. Maxie knocks on wood and says that big weddings in this town always end in disaster. Spinelli says The Danger has lessened, and the weather channel hasn't reported any natural disasters. Maxie is dubious, and the lights flicker in Jason's apartment. Oh, snap, maybe everyone in town forgot to pay their electric bill at the same time. That would make since as I've yet to see anyone ever check the mail.
Chapel: Sonny shows up and has the audacity to give Patrick a man to man talk. Really, Sonny? You do this on his wedding day? If you have anything but blessings, you really are supposed to take care of that well in advance. No one actually wants to hear anyone at the "speak now or forever hold your peace bit" Patrick very, VERY graciously says he knows that Robin means a lot to Sonny, and even though Patrick owes Sonny NOTHING, and it's in fact Sonny who owes Patrick a great deal of gratitude for having to operate on Sonny's stupid family that Sonny is forever putting in harm's way, even though all of that, Patrick promises he is taking his promise to Robin very seriously. The two men shake hands. Sonny nods gravely, as if he's really created or accomplished anything by this conversation.
commercials
Corinthaus: Claud hangs around and blasts the sound as Jerry once again blathers about the first stupid bag of puzzles are hidden in the window to her soul. She crawls up on a chair that is placed dangerously close to the fireplace and looks around the mantle. Jason walks in and sharply asks what she's looking for.
Chapel: Robert joins Patrick on a pew. Patrick asks if he's about to get the Father-in-Law talk. Robert asks Patrick to think about years from now, when Emma is getting married, what he'd want the groom to say, and what he'd want to say to the groom. Patrick says that he'd want the man to know that his daughter is the most precious thing that has ever drawn breath, and at first I think Robert is really wimping out on the FIL/Son-in-law talk, but Patrick doesn't see it that way, and he continues with a rather gorgeous speech about what he'd want the man to say, about how he knows it won't be easy, but he won't take her for granted, and that's how he believes their love will grow each day, and he will cherish and trust and mostly love her. Patrick's eyes get teary and he says to Robert that this is what he wants with Robin, with Robert's blessing. Robert nudges him kindly with his shoulder and says "now that wasn't so bad was it."
Bridal Room: Robin has her make up done. Anna gets a bit teary and asks if she thought this day would come. Not to be rude, but didn't they just have 90% of this day already? Anna left Robin's gift in the car, so she runs out, so that Robin can have a chance to go down Memory Lane. She remembers showing Stone the mantilla Anna wore when she got married. aw, now, I'm just a big ol' mess because my mother and aunt both wore mantilla's for their wedding. You can click on the link to see photos, but it's basically like a veil, but is typically lace and goes over the top of the head but not over the face. She says she's pictured herself wearing one since she was a little girl. Stone puts the mantilla over her head, and she's so young and beautiful that it's hard not to smile at the TV. Stone makes an audible smile and says that she's going to make a beautiful bride. Robin stirs from her reverie, as Sonny comes in. She hops up, and the greet with a big hug.
Commercials:
Sam's Apartment: Sam is good as new, so I guess her leg wasn't injured? She dreamt that part too? Anyhoo, Sam and Alexis go to Sam's apartment and she tells Alexis that she dreamt that Alexis was there urging her to stay alive, and it worked. They smile beautifully at each other. Sam enters the apartment, and Lucky is there. Alexis asks what is up with them. Lucky says they faked a break up so that Sam could investigate the drug smuggling. Oh, wait, what? They faked another break up? Or...do these two idiots think people go around keeping track of whether or not they are dating? Alexis is pleased that Lucky has so much faith in Sam, and she leaves. Then Sam confirms that Lucky is talking about the break up they faked, like 18 years ago. He is at her apartment all the time, so who do they think they are tricking? Besides all the people who arent paying the slightest bit of attention? Whatever, Sam asks if they are still fighting.
Chapel: ShawnD listens happily as Patrick says he's madly in love with Robin and his little girl. He likes the public acknowledgment part of the whole thing.
Chapel II: Luke and Robert meet up. Luke assures Robert that he's done a lot of stuff to be proud of. Basically, it sounds like Robert has been being Jack Bauer all this time. That makes sense. I mostly hate Jack's annoying daughter on that show. In fact, I've never been able to forgive Kevin Dillon for saving her from the mountain lion. But I digress. Luke leaves, so Anna shows up. I guess because otherwise AARP would demand the audience pay dues to watch the show. Maxie shows up to randomly dither that there is impending doom, she just doesn't know what it is. Okay, Cassandra, that's about enough of that.
Commercials
Bridal Room: Robin laughs at her tears and says she was just thinking about Stone. How he wanted her to go on and have a full life and find love. She says at the time she didn't think it was possible. She smiles sweetly and says "but here I am again." Sonny says no one deserves love more than her. He says she has turned into the most amazing woman, and she's so lucky to be able to find happiness again. he wishes her and patrick the best life together, and he's so sincere, and his voice catches a bit, and I forgive him for being all bizarre with Patrick earlier. She giggles tearfully and says she's been thinking about the people who helped her get here, and he's certainly one of them. If she hadn't had his support after Stone died, she wouldn't be here. His eyes fill with tears, and he raspily croaks out that she gives him too much credit and says Jason was the one who helped her. She smiles and says she's blessed to have them both. Aw.
Corinthaus: Claud deflects Jason's question and asks if this is a pre-emptive strike, and if he's come to take Sonny out. Jason asks why she's acting all goofy. Honestly, I've seen four year olds with crumbs all over their face, standing before a broken cookie jar, who have given more convincing "what cookies?" faces. Jason angrily demands to know what she's looking for.
Chapel Foyer: Edward shakes Patrick's hand. Epiphany, Kelly and Lainey clearly called each other to design their attire because they've chosen an alluring blend of blacks and purples. Edward hilariously calls Epiphany on her bullshit. Ha, Edward rules! Piph couldn't care less, though, and continues to deride Patrick in front of 1/3 of his guests that she's glad his courtship is finally over. Sonya Eddy is such a better actress than this role requires. It's one thing if Mac teases Robert. He LOVES him. But Piph clearly sort of hates Patrick, so it's only ridiculous that she'd chastise him on his wedding day in front of guests. But they all just laugh like a bunch of morons, nonetheless. Oh, har de har har, it's so hilarious that your co-worker hates you and openly mocks you. So weird. Spinelli assures Maxie that there are no storms brewing. Maxie asks "and Carly?" (good point. She IS worst natural disaster of them all) Spinelli says Carly's busy all day. Maxie says they can't let their guards down until it's really over.
Bridal Room: Robert remembers meeting teeny, tiny, incredibly huggable Robin for the first time. oh dear, I may have to rewind that, that was so cute! He asks "who are you?" and she smiles "My name's robin." In the present, Robert opens the door, and there is grown up Robin, looking ravishing in her bridal regalia. He says he's the luckiest dad in the world while she smiles a big ol' bride-y smile.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Lucky talks to Cameron and says he wishes he'd been with him on Christmas. The hell? Why didn't he see them on Christmas? Oh, I guess Liz took the boys somewhere for the holidays? Where on earth would they go? Were they visiting Sarah or some other incredibly unlikely thing? Whatever, show. Lucky gets off the phone and is done pouting. He wants to smile and be honest and together. Sam says she wants that too, so they kiss.
Corinthaus: Claud gets out of the whole thing by saying she has stuff to do and fleeing. Jason sees an ornament with Chucky's picture in it and gets sad. Sonny shows up and says he saw Robin. Jason says Sonny decided to stay away too this time. Sonny mumbles something about what Jason is doing here. Jason says he ran The Danger out of town, so Sonny doesn't need The Danger, "So please, Sonny, I'm asking you, to send that alliance and walk away." (and back into my arms is implied)
Chapel: Pachelbel's Canon in D begins as Maxie and Mac take their seats, and the priest and Patrick shake hands, and Anna kisses Robin and then goes down the aisle. Here Comes the Bride begins, and everyone stands, and Robert walks a smiling Robin down the aisle. This time her dress is white and it's a fitted, strapless bodice, and chapel train. There are a series of concentric circles from top to bottom, and it's lovely. She could be a wedding cake. Robin and Patrick make it to the altar (again). But then her water breaks, and it turns out it was twins! Or maybe. We'll have to wait until Monday. The end
Jason tells Spinelli that the Russians are leaving town. Spinelli thinks this means that Jason and Sonny can return to brokebacking, but Jason looks dubious.
Corinthaus: Meanwhile, Sonny is up to no good, and speaks on the phone about having a shipment land at Pier 17, which is Jason's territory. Claud says this is ill conceived.
Emma's Closet: Maxie is a hurricane of lines. She says an entire page long monologue as one long word, and promises it will be the happiest day of Robin's life if it kills her. She says it cheerfully, with gusto, but it is also clearly a threat. Robin picks up Emma and Mac remembers back to the Dreadful Day that Robin broke the news to him that she's HIV positive. In the present Mac says that no matter how hard he tried to hope, he was always afraid this day would never come, which makes it more precious. He smooches Emma's forehead.
Sam's Hospital Room: Lucky shows up to be pouty and sulky. I'm not saying he doesn't have the right to be, I'm just saying Greg Vaughn in a pretty lousy actor for scenes like this and confuses talking in a low voice with emoting. Sam tries to explain why she didn't call him and did something as dangerous as getting into a mobster's van, but there is no excuse, so she can only make lame ones. He says he's glad she's okay and leaves.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason is in a good mood, for him. He sits on the sofa and puts his feet up because he naively believes that because The Danger left town it means there is not a new The Danger on its way in. Or already here, as the case may be.
Corinthaus: Claud thinks it's selfish for Sonny to go to Robin's wedding and rain on her happy day, since he's evil and bride's get shot or left at the alter whenever he's involved. Heh, that's sort of awesome that she just called him on that. Sonny asks what's up with her and the laptop. Since when is sitting in a living room with a laptop suspicious? Isn't that why laptops exist? He whispers that he's going to find out what she's trying to hide. Then he annoyingly flashed the dimples and winks at her and makes a gotcha click with his mouth. and then to show he's a really super good actor, he drops the smile. Oh, do you see what he did there? He pretended to be happy and charming, but really he is quite angry with her. Man, that Maurice Bernard, it's like he's taken every acting lesson there is! He asks her to just come clean with her secret. If I were Claud I'd just say I had a bad online porn habit and leave it at that. But also, if I were claud, I'd watch the DVD's in my own room and not in the living room/office. Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud skips the porn thing, but says that she wants to have sex, so she has to sneak around. Sonny says it's icky to sneak around with Ric. Claud says "that girl Elizabeth Webber really did a number on him, and he still believes in love." Um, then why did he try to kill Liz and feed her birth control pills, and what else was it? oh, right, PANIC ROOM. Claud says love at first sight doesn't happen. Sonny says she's wrong and uses Robin and Stone as an example. Ah, yes, and look how well that turned out, Sonny. Sonny gets annoyed with himself for confiding in Claud about Stone, so he leaves in a huff. Leaving Claud to carefully file away that tidbit to use to her advantage at will. (or also, never b/c she's a stupid woman and is only useful for falling in love with men for no reason. but on a GOOD show, she'd be filing that info away)
Bridal Room: Anna and Robin get ready (again) for the wedding. Chapel: Mac and Robert hang out, being dapper in the tuxes. Mac realizes Robert is incredibly nervous. Roberts says that Mac has done all the tough stuff raising Robin, and he never thanked him for that. he hasn't? hasn't he been back from the dead for quite awhile now? What a jerk.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie and her faux fur show up to pick up Spinelli. Maxie knocks on wood and says that big weddings in this town always end in disaster. Spinelli says The Danger has lessened, and the weather channel hasn't reported any natural disasters. Maxie is dubious, and the lights flicker in Jason's apartment. Oh, snap, maybe everyone in town forgot to pay their electric bill at the same time. That would make since as I've yet to see anyone ever check the mail.
Chapel: Sonny shows up and has the audacity to give Patrick a man to man talk. Really, Sonny? You do this on his wedding day? If you have anything but blessings, you really are supposed to take care of that well in advance. No one actually wants to hear anyone at the "speak now or forever hold your peace bit" Patrick very, VERY graciously says he knows that Robin means a lot to Sonny, and even though Patrick owes Sonny NOTHING, and it's in fact Sonny who owes Patrick a great deal of gratitude for having to operate on Sonny's stupid family that Sonny is forever putting in harm's way, even though all of that, Patrick promises he is taking his promise to Robin very seriously. The two men shake hands. Sonny nods gravely, as if he's really created or accomplished anything by this conversation.
commercials
Corinthaus: Claud hangs around and blasts the sound as Jerry once again blathers about the first stupid bag of puzzles are hidden in the window to her soul. She crawls up on a chair that is placed dangerously close to the fireplace and looks around the mantle. Jason walks in and sharply asks what she's looking for.
Chapel: Robert joins Patrick on a pew. Patrick asks if he's about to get the Father-in-Law talk. Robert asks Patrick to think about years from now, when Emma is getting married, what he'd want the groom to say, and what he'd want to say to the groom. Patrick says that he'd want the man to know that his daughter is the most precious thing that has ever drawn breath, and at first I think Robert is really wimping out on the FIL/Son-in-law talk, but Patrick doesn't see it that way, and he continues with a rather gorgeous speech about what he'd want the man to say, about how he knows it won't be easy, but he won't take her for granted, and that's how he believes their love will grow each day, and he will cherish and trust and mostly love her. Patrick's eyes get teary and he says to Robert that this is what he wants with Robin, with Robert's blessing. Robert nudges him kindly with his shoulder and says "now that wasn't so bad was it."
Bridal Room: Robin has her make up done. Anna gets a bit teary and asks if she thought this day would come. Not to be rude, but didn't they just have 90% of this day already? Anna left Robin's gift in the car, so she runs out, so that Robin can have a chance to go down Memory Lane. She remembers showing Stone the mantilla Anna wore when she got married. aw, now, I'm just a big ol' mess because my mother and aunt both wore mantilla's for their wedding. You can click on the link to see photos, but it's basically like a veil, but is typically lace and goes over the top of the head but not over the face. She says she's pictured herself wearing one since she was a little girl. Stone puts the mantilla over her head, and she's so young and beautiful that it's hard not to smile at the TV. Stone makes an audible smile and says that she's going to make a beautiful bride. Robin stirs from her reverie, as Sonny comes in. She hops up, and the greet with a big hug.
Commercials:
Sam's Apartment: Sam is good as new, so I guess her leg wasn't injured? She dreamt that part too? Anyhoo, Sam and Alexis go to Sam's apartment and she tells Alexis that she dreamt that Alexis was there urging her to stay alive, and it worked. They smile beautifully at each other. Sam enters the apartment, and Lucky is there. Alexis asks what is up with them. Lucky says they faked a break up so that Sam could investigate the drug smuggling. Oh, wait, what? They faked another break up? Or...do these two idiots think people go around keeping track of whether or not they are dating? Alexis is pleased that Lucky has so much faith in Sam, and she leaves. Then Sam confirms that Lucky is talking about the break up they faked, like 18 years ago. He is at her apartment all the time, so who do they think they are tricking? Besides all the people who arent paying the slightest bit of attention? Whatever, Sam asks if they are still fighting.
Chapel: ShawnD listens happily as Patrick says he's madly in love with Robin and his little girl. He likes the public acknowledgment part of the whole thing.
Chapel II: Luke and Robert meet up. Luke assures Robert that he's done a lot of stuff to be proud of. Basically, it sounds like Robert has been being Jack Bauer all this time. That makes sense. I mostly hate Jack's annoying daughter on that show. In fact, I've never been able to forgive Kevin Dillon for saving her from the mountain lion. But I digress. Luke leaves, so Anna shows up. I guess because otherwise AARP would demand the audience pay dues to watch the show. Maxie shows up to randomly dither that there is impending doom, she just doesn't know what it is. Okay, Cassandra, that's about enough of that.
Commercials
Bridal Room: Robin laughs at her tears and says she was just thinking about Stone. How he wanted her to go on and have a full life and find love. She says at the time she didn't think it was possible. She smiles sweetly and says "but here I am again." Sonny says no one deserves love more than her. He says she has turned into the most amazing woman, and she's so lucky to be able to find happiness again. he wishes her and patrick the best life together, and he's so sincere, and his voice catches a bit, and I forgive him for being all bizarre with Patrick earlier. She giggles tearfully and says she's been thinking about the people who helped her get here, and he's certainly one of them. If she hadn't had his support after Stone died, she wouldn't be here. His eyes fill with tears, and he raspily croaks out that she gives him too much credit and says Jason was the one who helped her. She smiles and says she's blessed to have them both. Aw.
Corinthaus: Claud deflects Jason's question and asks if this is a pre-emptive strike, and if he's come to take Sonny out. Jason asks why she's acting all goofy. Honestly, I've seen four year olds with crumbs all over their face, standing before a broken cookie jar, who have given more convincing "what cookies?" faces. Jason angrily demands to know what she's looking for.
Chapel Foyer: Edward shakes Patrick's hand. Epiphany, Kelly and Lainey clearly called each other to design their attire because they've chosen an alluring blend of blacks and purples. Edward hilariously calls Epiphany on her bullshit. Ha, Edward rules! Piph couldn't care less, though, and continues to deride Patrick in front of 1/3 of his guests that she's glad his courtship is finally over. Sonya Eddy is such a better actress than this role requires. It's one thing if Mac teases Robert. He LOVES him. But Piph clearly sort of hates Patrick, so it's only ridiculous that she'd chastise him on his wedding day in front of guests. But they all just laugh like a bunch of morons, nonetheless. Oh, har de har har, it's so hilarious that your co-worker hates you and openly mocks you. So weird. Spinelli assures Maxie that there are no storms brewing. Maxie asks "and Carly?" (good point. She IS worst natural disaster of them all) Spinelli says Carly's busy all day. Maxie says they can't let their guards down until it's really over.
Bridal Room: Robert remembers meeting teeny, tiny, incredibly huggable Robin for the first time. oh dear, I may have to rewind that, that was so cute! He asks "who are you?" and she smiles "My name's robin." In the present, Robert opens the door, and there is grown up Robin, looking ravishing in her bridal regalia. He says he's the luckiest dad in the world while she smiles a big ol' bride-y smile.
Commercials
Sam's Apartment: Lucky talks to Cameron and says he wishes he'd been with him on Christmas. The hell? Why didn't he see them on Christmas? Oh, I guess Liz took the boys somewhere for the holidays? Where on earth would they go? Were they visiting Sarah or some other incredibly unlikely thing? Whatever, show. Lucky gets off the phone and is done pouting. He wants to smile and be honest and together. Sam says she wants that too, so they kiss.
Corinthaus: Claud gets out of the whole thing by saying she has stuff to do and fleeing. Jason sees an ornament with Chucky's picture in it and gets sad. Sonny shows up and says he saw Robin. Jason says Sonny decided to stay away too this time. Sonny mumbles something about what Jason is doing here. Jason says he ran The Danger out of town, so Sonny doesn't need The Danger, "So please, Sonny, I'm asking you, to send that alliance and walk away." (and back into my arms is implied)
Chapel: Pachelbel's Canon in D begins as Maxie and Mac take their seats, and the priest and Patrick shake hands, and Anna kisses Robin and then goes down the aisle. Here Comes the Bride begins, and everyone stands, and Robert walks a smiling Robin down the aisle. This time her dress is white and it's a fitted, strapless bodice, and chapel train. There are a series of concentric circles from top to bottom, and it's lovely. She could be a wedding cake. Robin and Patrick make it to the altar (again). But then her water breaks, and it turns out it was twins! Or maybe. We'll have to wait until Monday. The end
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
GH Recap 12/23: Jingle Bell Dock
Docks: Spinelli rushes by the docks and finds a small Santa ornament on the ground as jingle bell music ssounds. He takes a moment to place the ornament on a Christmas tree that is adorning the docks.
Spencer Home: Looloo cheerfully greets Lucky and wants to hang out and eat pizza. Lucky is distracted by missing Sam. Nik actually remembers he has a son and says he just dropped Homer off somewhere. Nik briskly says he's watched Emily play an elf at the GH party for years and is not up for it yet. Looloo is apparently "suffering" from having too much sex, so she plans on having fun with her brothers even if they just hang out and pout around here. With endearing comic timing, they all sit on the sofa and try to answer their phones at the same time.
Emma's Closet: Robin angrily snaps at Patrick for forgetting her dessert. She sarcastically says "but we have eggnog lattes" and snatches them from him. Those sound entirely delicious and worthy of being considered dessert in and of themselves. I guess the honeymoon is over?
Q Manse: Monica stares out at Lila's roses. One thing I do love about this show is my inner picture of Lila's roses. I imagine them still looking like the Secret Garden, like you'd half expect crippled British kids and their nannies to be frolicking in them. Edward and his cute cap show up to break her from her reverie. Tracy shows up in her latest Asian inspired outfit. Monica isn't going to the GH Christmas party. Tracy is staying home and pouting. Mon jabs that maybe she'll leave afterall. Alice shows up to chipperly trim the tree. and then the Q's do that thing where everybody says a line, but this time it's Edward: Ba, Monica: Hum, Tracy: Bug.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli comes in and finds a man dressed as Santa complaining about the cookies left for him. Why on earth would Jason or Spinelli leave cookies by the hearth for Santa? Music Guy picks up his jingle bells again and starts making merry. Santa sees Spinelli and shouts "panelli!" Spinelli tells him to halt "Demented Intruder, I will ninja you" Santa says he knows who's naughty and nice and who knows martial arts. Spinelli believes he's met St. Nick, himself.
Credits
Jason's Penthouse: Santa points out his sleigh on top of the Metrocourt and says he took some carrots. He's a mess about his Blackberry and needs Spinelli to fix it by 11:59pm so he can deliver presents to the kids. This is awesomely stupid and gloriously sweet. This is like brownies made of new math and Andes mints. Maxie shows up, but Santa magically sneaks away, as he does. Spinelli tries to explain how Santa gave him a PDA to fix, and Maxie tries to follow Spinelli's dizzying speech. Then she hears the sleigh bells and Spinelli shows her Santa's jacket. Poor Santa, he's going to be cold! So is Santa just going to ride around for a few hours until midnight? That sounds exhausting for his already taxed reindeer.
Docks: Diane is staring up into the sky, thinking she's seeing Santa. Max shows up and breaks the bad news that he booked a room at the Metrocourt. She's bummed b/c they were supposed to spend the holidays with his family. Some sort of mob business has gotten in the way of their plans, so Diane balks and says he doesn't think of her as his girlfriend. Max tries to stop her, but she's sure he doesn't want to be with her for the holidays, so she leaves in a huff.
Spencer Home: Luke drunkely shows up. That's really kind of sad, y'all, having a dad who is always sloshed. I adore Anthony Geary and honestly dig him as an actor, but Luke is a sad, sad character. Like Oprah Book Club kind of sad. He's brought a tree for the family and tells a slurringly drunk story about how it just stumbled onto his lap. Nik brings the tree in alone and cutely asks "why isn't anyone helping me?" heh. What is this adorable show? Who are these adorable characters? I really like them. Spinelli and Maxie burst in, and Maxie quickly explains that Spinelli got his Santa coat from a costume shop. Looloo offers them pizza. Because they are the Q's now? Shut up, writers. At least have the Spencers eat Chinese food or buffalo wings, or something else that delivers. Spinelli says they have a busy schedule. Maxie says they are asking everyone what they are wishing for. (Sleigh bells) Looloo says they look weird. Spinelli reaches into his pocket and pulls out what looks like a skeleton key on a red ribbon and says it's for Loo and will give her a merry Christmas.
Commercials
Spencer Home: Spin hands Loo the key and tells her to enjoy. Luke looks on curiously. Maxie rushes Spin off. She's wearing the cutest tights ever, by the way. Kudos to whoever found those and insisted they were for Maxie! Luke slurs "Merry Christmas" Loo says this is the weirdest thing. Luke takes a swig of his booze and says he hates Christmas. and again, it's sad that he's a drunk, but my heavens, does Anthony Geary put so much into a simple line and simple act. I'd hate for Luke to be my dad, but I'd watch Anthony Geary PLAY my dad, or anyone's dad, any chance I got!
Bernie's Office!: Omg, It's Bernie's office! Bernie cutely puts candles in his mennorah. Diane is there and complaining about Max. Bernie sagely says that Diane is the one who walked out on Max. Bernie says he's a widower, and his family is spread out all over. He's waiting for The Danger Documents to arrive. He sweetly says that even though they are apart, everyone in his family is lighting candles, wherever they are. Diane thinks it's a lovely tradition. (also, Bernie, you're a few candles behind)
Emma's Closet: Robin is angry she can't find her grandmother's necklace that Anna gave her to wear on her wedding day. Man, Robin is lucky. Mr. Mad would be much less kind about what a bitch she's being than Patrick is. Patrick finally snaps at her, and she says he's like divorce. Anna and Robert show up. Patrick tries not to flee. Robin offers Robert a leftover latte. Anna suggests Robin wear the necklace that we all know is lost. There is a knock at the door and Patrick prays it's either figgy pudding or death. But it's Spinelli and Maxie. Maxie asks what everyone wants for Christmas. Isn't it a bit late? Robin snots they have everything they need. Jingle bells sound as Spinelli pulls a magic package out of his pocket to give to Robin.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Maxie is surprised by the gift, but she cuts off Spinelli before he can crazily talk about his magic Santa coat, and they leave. Robin opens the bag and pulls out cookies. She insanely worries the cookies are tainted. Because I guess she thinks Spinelli is an assassin? Anna grabs one and loves it. Robin eats a bite and "the first Noel" plays happily as Robin says the cookies taste just like the Christmas cookies her grandma used to make. She died before she could give Robin the recipe.
Spencer Home: The tree is mostly decorated, and they all talk about how Laura loved Christmas. Luke slurs about his first Christmas in Texas. Somehow they found a pine tree in Texas. I can only assume they were in East Texas? Luke tells them a sweet story about how Laura batted her eyes at a man who was selling angels, so they had a top for their tree.
Q Manse: Edward and Monica talk about how Lila and Emily loved Christmas and made it special. Alice hopes they argue about Christmas dinner for old time's sake. The Q's don't even feel like bickering, though. Alanghost calls them whiners, and Tracy snaps at him. Monica says Tracy can't possibly fight with Alan tonight. Alan asks Tracy to tell Monica that he loves her. Spin and Maxie show up. Tracy wants to throw them out. Spinelli calls Alice the Dominator, and thus dissuades her from throwing them out. He says he's compelled to be here. Edward calls him psychotic. Jingle Bells. Spinelli pulls out a pair of glasses on a red ribbon.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Patrick drops a cookie and (jingle bells) he finds Robin's grandma's necklace under a chair. (Oh Holy Night begins to play) as they all happily talk about this necklace's past. Robin says she knows it's silly, but she thinks it's a sign. Robin says this necklace has been from a village in Italy to here to her necklace, and it's here to stay. So I guess in the next scene she apolgizes to her fiance about being suchabitch about his forgetting dessert and "only" bringing delicious eggnog lattes home?
Spencer Home: Lucky drags down a bunch of boxes to find the angel top. There is a big wooden box that Looloo's key fits into. Inside is a gorgeous Christmas tree top angel. The phone rings, and it's Laura. (We Wish You a Merry Christmas) plays happily.
Q Manse: Spinelli says he doesn't know who the glasses are for. Edward hilariously calls him a twerp in a way that I find endearing, but Tracy cuts him off and starts to leave for the GH party. Monica just wants to stay behind. Spinelli says the glasses must be for her, since everyone else left. Monica bruskly tells him he's wrong, but she's glad to be alone. Alanghost says "big mistake, Monica" Maxie says "big mistake, Monica, you don't refuse a gift from an open heart" Monica crisply says she's got nothing to celebrate. Maxie evenly and chipperly says she's out of reasons to celebrate too, but tis the season. Alanghost asks Monica to reconsider. Spinelli says he'll just leave the glasses on the tree. Maxie lovingly wishes Monica a Merry Christmas and she and Spin leave. Alan says the glasses look like his. Monica stares at the bar. Instead of pourting a drink, she turns to the tree and picks up the glasses as the jingle bells ring. She puts them on and turns around. She gasps in surprise. She's able to see Alan!
Commercials
Q Manse: Jingle bells. Monica approaches Alan, and the lights change, so that the backrground is dark and only Alan and Monica are lit. "the First Noel" begins to play as Alan says "you can see me!" and Monica adjusts the glasses and asks "is it really you?" He takes her hands and assures her it's alright. He takes off the glasses, and she can still see him. She breathlessly asks how. He sweetly says you never ask "how?" on Christmas. He says she's a fighter and can't give up and must go on with her life. She says she doesn't know if he's a ghost, or if she's crazy, but the pompous ass she's loved most is here. the bicker adorably about being pompous and promiscuous. Monica can only finally sob happily that she's missed him so much, and he embraces her, and I go to find a tissue.
Docks: Max laments to Spin and Maxie that he lost Diane. Maxie says Diane just wants to know that he wants to be with the woman he loves. Spinelli pulls out another red ribbon with a card attached and says he got his wish as Spin and Maxie run off to be jingle belly somewhere else.
Bernie's Sunday Office: Diane cradles a blanket that was her present to Max. She says "warm heart, cold feet" and sobs. Bernie hops up to comfort her, and she wails "oh, I'm such a Bitch!" heh. Spin and Maxie burst in offering holiday greetings. Maxie offers a ridiculously adorable squeely "heeeeya!" to Bernie and asks what he's doing here Christmas Eve. Bernie says something about union pay. Spin asks why Diane is crying, and she says she messed things up with Max. Jingle Bells! It's a phone that has already been dialed and is ringing, and Spin hands it to Diane and tells her to call her beloved. Max answers, and Diane sweetly sobs to Max that he shouldn't move, and she'll be right there. She hugs and kisses everyone and wishes them a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. Bernie mumbles he'll never understand and says Diane is the best lawyer and other complimentary things. He looks around a drawer and says she goes to pieces over a bodyguard. Jingle bells! Spin hands Bernie something that is just what he was wishing for. Spin and Maxie offer happy holidays and happy Hanukkah and leave.
Docks: little ditty about Max and Diane. They rush to each other's arms joyfully.
Commercials
Q Manse magical land: Alan and Monica embrace and they bicker about who would have been the better chief of staff. She's hired experts to help her be better. He says he was great as a surgeon until he injured his hand saving her. She deadpans that he did that after trying to kill her. He yells it was because she was cheating on him in his house. She gleefully says "It's MY house, Alan", and he jubilantly says "I gave it to you!" then he snaps his fingers. Then a Charlie Brown sort of jazzy Christmas song begins to play as the house is once again lit up, but only with Christmas lights. He embraces her and says "Merry Christmas, Monica" she relaxes into his embrace and looks at the tree with a big smile and wishes him the same.
Docks: Max and Diane look at a snowglobe that came from a pawn shop and kiss. Spin and Maxie hover a bit on the level above them, and Spinelli pulls some jingle bells out of his pocket. They both sing a few lines of "jingle bells" well, I should say, that Maxie rather gorgeously sings it in her usual alluring and delightful way that is delightfully understated while Spinelli mumbles along in a way that at once sings along and at the same time doesn't get in the way of her very pretty voice. Max and Diane giggle at them.
Bernie's office: Bernie lights a candle in the dark and sings a blessing in Hebrew as he lights the candles. Easily one of the loveliest moment of the episode. I think we are supposed to gather that Spinelli gave Bernie enough candles to properly light the Menorah, but it's not specifically said.
Emma's Closet: Patrick and Robin snuggle with their daughter and wish each other a merry Christmas.
Spencer Home. Loo puts the angel on the tree, and Luke tells Laura about it on the phone as her children sing "merry Christmas" into the phone.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie is surprised to see Santa, but of course, she has no problem believing it's him. She laments they only made it to a few houses and don't know what everyone wants for Christmas. Spin says they fixed the PDA. Santa says he already knows what everyone wants. Spin wonders what the true meaning was. Santa says it takes a special person to see what's in people's hearts. Spin gives Santa his jacket and asks for a picture. Maxie, Spin and Santa take an adorably well color coordinated pic. I would honestly send that to at least a dozen people as a Christmas card, it's so cute. Santa takes off. Spin and Maxie rush out after him to the terrace. She says she has to visit Mac now, but she says he's good and true and kisses him. It begins to snow on Spinelli, and he waves happily after Santa.
Spinelli awakes on the sofa. His phone is ringing, and it'ss Maxie. She says she thought she was having a weird dream, but there was a gift by her bed. He says he has a gift as well. She chastises "you have to open it!" he opens it, and it's the pic of Spin, Maxie and Santa. They are dorkily happy that it wasn't a dream, and then they dorkily turn to the camera and wish the audience a merry Christmas.
Spencer Home: Looloo cheerfully greets Lucky and wants to hang out and eat pizza. Lucky is distracted by missing Sam. Nik actually remembers he has a son and says he just dropped Homer off somewhere. Nik briskly says he's watched Emily play an elf at the GH party for years and is not up for it yet. Looloo is apparently "suffering" from having too much sex, so she plans on having fun with her brothers even if they just hang out and pout around here. With endearing comic timing, they all sit on the sofa and try to answer their phones at the same time.
Emma's Closet: Robin angrily snaps at Patrick for forgetting her dessert. She sarcastically says "but we have eggnog lattes" and snatches them from him. Those sound entirely delicious and worthy of being considered dessert in and of themselves. I guess the honeymoon is over?
Q Manse: Monica stares out at Lila's roses. One thing I do love about this show is my inner picture of Lila's roses. I imagine them still looking like the Secret Garden, like you'd half expect crippled British kids and their nannies to be frolicking in them. Edward and his cute cap show up to break her from her reverie. Tracy shows up in her latest Asian inspired outfit. Monica isn't going to the GH Christmas party. Tracy is staying home and pouting. Mon jabs that maybe she'll leave afterall. Alice shows up to chipperly trim the tree. and then the Q's do that thing where everybody says a line, but this time it's Edward: Ba, Monica: Hum, Tracy: Bug.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli comes in and finds a man dressed as Santa complaining about the cookies left for him. Why on earth would Jason or Spinelli leave cookies by the hearth for Santa? Music Guy picks up his jingle bells again and starts making merry. Santa sees Spinelli and shouts "panelli!" Spinelli tells him to halt "Demented Intruder, I will ninja you" Santa says he knows who's naughty and nice and who knows martial arts. Spinelli believes he's met St. Nick, himself.
Credits
Jason's Penthouse: Santa points out his sleigh on top of the Metrocourt and says he took some carrots. He's a mess about his Blackberry and needs Spinelli to fix it by 11:59pm so he can deliver presents to the kids. This is awesomely stupid and gloriously sweet. This is like brownies made of new math and Andes mints. Maxie shows up, but Santa magically sneaks away, as he does. Spinelli tries to explain how Santa gave him a PDA to fix, and Maxie tries to follow Spinelli's dizzying speech. Then she hears the sleigh bells and Spinelli shows her Santa's jacket. Poor Santa, he's going to be cold! So is Santa just going to ride around for a few hours until midnight? That sounds exhausting for his already taxed reindeer.
Docks: Diane is staring up into the sky, thinking she's seeing Santa. Max shows up and breaks the bad news that he booked a room at the Metrocourt. She's bummed b/c they were supposed to spend the holidays with his family. Some sort of mob business has gotten in the way of their plans, so Diane balks and says he doesn't think of her as his girlfriend. Max tries to stop her, but she's sure he doesn't want to be with her for the holidays, so she leaves in a huff.
Spencer Home: Luke drunkely shows up. That's really kind of sad, y'all, having a dad who is always sloshed. I adore Anthony Geary and honestly dig him as an actor, but Luke is a sad, sad character. Like Oprah Book Club kind of sad. He's brought a tree for the family and tells a slurringly drunk story about how it just stumbled onto his lap. Nik brings the tree in alone and cutely asks "why isn't anyone helping me?" heh. What is this adorable show? Who are these adorable characters? I really like them. Spinelli and Maxie burst in, and Maxie quickly explains that Spinelli got his Santa coat from a costume shop. Looloo offers them pizza. Because they are the Q's now? Shut up, writers. At least have the Spencers eat Chinese food or buffalo wings, or something else that delivers. Spinelli says they have a busy schedule. Maxie says they are asking everyone what they are wishing for. (Sleigh bells) Looloo says they look weird. Spinelli reaches into his pocket and pulls out what looks like a skeleton key on a red ribbon and says it's for Loo and will give her a merry Christmas.
Commercials
Spencer Home: Spin hands Loo the key and tells her to enjoy. Luke looks on curiously. Maxie rushes Spin off. She's wearing the cutest tights ever, by the way. Kudos to whoever found those and insisted they were for Maxie! Luke slurs "Merry Christmas" Loo says this is the weirdest thing. Luke takes a swig of his booze and says he hates Christmas. and again, it's sad that he's a drunk, but my heavens, does Anthony Geary put so much into a simple line and simple act. I'd hate for Luke to be my dad, but I'd watch Anthony Geary PLAY my dad, or anyone's dad, any chance I got!
Bernie's Office!: Omg, It's Bernie's office! Bernie cutely puts candles in his mennorah. Diane is there and complaining about Max. Bernie sagely says that Diane is the one who walked out on Max. Bernie says he's a widower, and his family is spread out all over. He's waiting for The Danger Documents to arrive. He sweetly says that even though they are apart, everyone in his family is lighting candles, wherever they are. Diane thinks it's a lovely tradition. (also, Bernie, you're a few candles behind)
Emma's Closet: Robin is angry she can't find her grandmother's necklace that Anna gave her to wear on her wedding day. Man, Robin is lucky. Mr. Mad would be much less kind about what a bitch she's being than Patrick is. Patrick finally snaps at her, and she says he's like divorce. Anna and Robert show up. Patrick tries not to flee. Robin offers Robert a leftover latte. Anna suggests Robin wear the necklace that we all know is lost. There is a knock at the door and Patrick prays it's either figgy pudding or death. But it's Spinelli and Maxie. Maxie asks what everyone wants for Christmas. Isn't it a bit late? Robin snots they have everything they need. Jingle bells sound as Spinelli pulls a magic package out of his pocket to give to Robin.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Maxie is surprised by the gift, but she cuts off Spinelli before he can crazily talk about his magic Santa coat, and they leave. Robin opens the bag and pulls out cookies. She insanely worries the cookies are tainted. Because I guess she thinks Spinelli is an assassin? Anna grabs one and loves it. Robin eats a bite and "the first Noel" plays happily as Robin says the cookies taste just like the Christmas cookies her grandma used to make. She died before she could give Robin the recipe.
Spencer Home: The tree is mostly decorated, and they all talk about how Laura loved Christmas. Luke slurs about his first Christmas in Texas. Somehow they found a pine tree in Texas. I can only assume they were in East Texas? Luke tells them a sweet story about how Laura batted her eyes at a man who was selling angels, so they had a top for their tree.
Q Manse: Edward and Monica talk about how Lila and Emily loved Christmas and made it special. Alice hopes they argue about Christmas dinner for old time's sake. The Q's don't even feel like bickering, though. Alanghost calls them whiners, and Tracy snaps at him. Monica says Tracy can't possibly fight with Alan tonight. Alan asks Tracy to tell Monica that he loves her. Spin and Maxie show up. Tracy wants to throw them out. Spinelli calls Alice the Dominator, and thus dissuades her from throwing them out. He says he's compelled to be here. Edward calls him psychotic. Jingle Bells. Spinelli pulls out a pair of glasses on a red ribbon.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Patrick drops a cookie and (jingle bells) he finds Robin's grandma's necklace under a chair. (Oh Holy Night begins to play) as they all happily talk about this necklace's past. Robin says she knows it's silly, but she thinks it's a sign. Robin says this necklace has been from a village in Italy to here to her necklace, and it's here to stay. So I guess in the next scene she apolgizes to her fiance about being suchabitch about his forgetting dessert and "only" bringing delicious eggnog lattes home?
Spencer Home: Lucky drags down a bunch of boxes to find the angel top. There is a big wooden box that Looloo's key fits into. Inside is a gorgeous Christmas tree top angel. The phone rings, and it's Laura. (We Wish You a Merry Christmas) plays happily.
Q Manse: Spinelli says he doesn't know who the glasses are for. Edward hilariously calls him a twerp in a way that I find endearing, but Tracy cuts him off and starts to leave for the GH party. Monica just wants to stay behind. Spinelli says the glasses must be for her, since everyone else left. Monica bruskly tells him he's wrong, but she's glad to be alone. Alanghost says "big mistake, Monica" Maxie says "big mistake, Monica, you don't refuse a gift from an open heart" Monica crisply says she's got nothing to celebrate. Maxie evenly and chipperly says she's out of reasons to celebrate too, but tis the season. Alanghost asks Monica to reconsider. Spinelli says he'll just leave the glasses on the tree. Maxie lovingly wishes Monica a Merry Christmas and she and Spin leave. Alan says the glasses look like his. Monica stares at the bar. Instead of pourting a drink, she turns to the tree and picks up the glasses as the jingle bells ring. She puts them on and turns around. She gasps in surprise. She's able to see Alan!
Commercials
Q Manse: Jingle bells. Monica approaches Alan, and the lights change, so that the backrground is dark and only Alan and Monica are lit. "the First Noel" begins to play as Alan says "you can see me!" and Monica adjusts the glasses and asks "is it really you?" He takes her hands and assures her it's alright. He takes off the glasses, and she can still see him. She breathlessly asks how. He sweetly says you never ask "how?" on Christmas. He says she's a fighter and can't give up and must go on with her life. She says she doesn't know if he's a ghost, or if she's crazy, but the pompous ass she's loved most is here. the bicker adorably about being pompous and promiscuous. Monica can only finally sob happily that she's missed him so much, and he embraces her, and I go to find a tissue.
Docks: Max laments to Spin and Maxie that he lost Diane. Maxie says Diane just wants to know that he wants to be with the woman he loves. Spinelli pulls out another red ribbon with a card attached and says he got his wish as Spin and Maxie run off to be jingle belly somewhere else.
Bernie's Sunday Office: Diane cradles a blanket that was her present to Max. She says "warm heart, cold feet" and sobs. Bernie hops up to comfort her, and she wails "oh, I'm such a Bitch!" heh. Spin and Maxie burst in offering holiday greetings. Maxie offers a ridiculously adorable squeely "heeeeya!" to Bernie and asks what he's doing here Christmas Eve. Bernie says something about union pay. Spin asks why Diane is crying, and she says she messed things up with Max. Jingle Bells! It's a phone that has already been dialed and is ringing, and Spin hands it to Diane and tells her to call her beloved. Max answers, and Diane sweetly sobs to Max that he shouldn't move, and she'll be right there. She hugs and kisses everyone and wishes them a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. Bernie mumbles he'll never understand and says Diane is the best lawyer and other complimentary things. He looks around a drawer and says she goes to pieces over a bodyguard. Jingle bells! Spin hands Bernie something that is just what he was wishing for. Spin and Maxie offer happy holidays and happy Hanukkah and leave.
Docks: little ditty about Max and Diane. They rush to each other's arms joyfully.
Commercials
Q Manse magical land: Alan and Monica embrace and they bicker about who would have been the better chief of staff. She's hired experts to help her be better. He says he was great as a surgeon until he injured his hand saving her. She deadpans that he did that after trying to kill her. He yells it was because she was cheating on him in his house. She gleefully says "It's MY house, Alan", and he jubilantly says "I gave it to you!" then he snaps his fingers. Then a Charlie Brown sort of jazzy Christmas song begins to play as the house is once again lit up, but only with Christmas lights. He embraces her and says "Merry Christmas, Monica" she relaxes into his embrace and looks at the tree with a big smile and wishes him the same.
Docks: Max and Diane look at a snowglobe that came from a pawn shop and kiss. Spin and Maxie hover a bit on the level above them, and Spinelli pulls some jingle bells out of his pocket. They both sing a few lines of "jingle bells" well, I should say, that Maxie rather gorgeously sings it in her usual alluring and delightful way that is delightfully understated while Spinelli mumbles along in a way that at once sings along and at the same time doesn't get in the way of her very pretty voice. Max and Diane giggle at them.
Bernie's office: Bernie lights a candle in the dark and sings a blessing in Hebrew as he lights the candles. Easily one of the loveliest moment of the episode. I think we are supposed to gather that Spinelli gave Bernie enough candles to properly light the Menorah, but it's not specifically said.
Emma's Closet: Patrick and Robin snuggle with their daughter and wish each other a merry Christmas.
Spencer Home. Loo puts the angel on the tree, and Luke tells Laura about it on the phone as her children sing "merry Christmas" into the phone.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie is surprised to see Santa, but of course, she has no problem believing it's him. She laments they only made it to a few houses and don't know what everyone wants for Christmas. Spin says they fixed the PDA. Santa says he already knows what everyone wants. Spin wonders what the true meaning was. Santa says it takes a special person to see what's in people's hearts. Spin gives Santa his jacket and asks for a picture. Maxie, Spin and Santa take an adorably well color coordinated pic. I would honestly send that to at least a dozen people as a Christmas card, it's so cute. Santa takes off. Spin and Maxie rush out after him to the terrace. She says she has to visit Mac now, but she says he's good and true and kisses him. It begins to snow on Spinelli, and he waves happily after Santa.
Spinelli awakes on the sofa. His phone is ringing, and it'ss Maxie. She says she thought she was having a weird dream, but there was a gift by her bed. He says he has a gift as well. She chastises "you have to open it!" he opens it, and it's the pic of Spin, Maxie and Santa. They are dorkily happy that it wasn't a dream, and then they dorkily turn to the camera and wish the audience a merry Christmas.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
(unless you are more of a Hanukkah type, in which case I wish you a happy one of those!)
It's always a pleasure sharing a bit of the day with all of you, but today I have to battle the grocery store before it becomes too much of a mad house.
Safe travels and yummy dinners to all of you!
xoxo,
Mad
It's always a pleasure sharing a bit of the day with all of you, but today I have to battle the grocery store before it becomes too much of a mad house.
Safe travels and yummy dinners to all of you!
xoxo,
Mad
Monday, December 22, 2008
GH Recap 12/22:
Emma's Closet: Robin asks Robert to walk her down the aisle. He is deeply honored, and he loves her, but he can't. the hell?
Alleydocks: Sascha writhes in pain. Jason begs her to tell him where Sam is. She gurgles something.
Sink Hole: Sam leans against a post and dreams of watching that lady kidnap Jakeson. Did that lady always look so much like a chubby Amy Ryan? In the dream, Sam angrily stops the lady and says Jakeson is not her baby. The lady sobs and hands the baby to Sam, while Liz looks on in surprise. In the present her make up still looks unsmudged. That's nice.
Carly's House: Sonny and Monty greet each other.
Credits
Emma's Closet: Robert thinks he's been a bad dad and has no right. Why does he think he gets a vote? If she wants Epiphany to walk her down the aisle, the nice thing to do is be gracious and accept. Robert does bring up a good point that it should be Mac. Robin says she's grateful to Mac, but he's her dad.
Corinthaus: Claud goes back to watching Jerry's DVD. Why doesn't she go somewhere more discreet? blah blah, hidden DVD of Danger. oh, gawd, there is a series of these stupid DVD's? So it IS like a survivor puzzle. Stupid mazes and bags of puzzle pieces. Claud starts to look in all the windows, but Ric hotly shows up to ask what she's looking for. He says maybe he can help. I think he means maybe he can hotly help.
Carly's House: poor Monty has to hear his miserable parents try to pretend they are in any way competent and cheer him up about Chucky. Monty is so going to set fire to the town one day. And look so handsome doing it! Sonny does look almost relaxed and happy, though. I think Monty is only a mime around Sonny b/c he's been chatty lately, but he can only gulp and nod in his father's presence. Sonny says Chucky would want Monty to be happy and have a great Christmas. Even the Christmas music is set at a whiny,maudlin level.
Alleydocks: Jason searches through Sascha's pockets and pulls out what I believe is her phone. He finally remembers there's a shooter somewhere, so he crouches behind some boxes. he looks around, and then trots off in a silly looking run. But he's Superjase, so he could have done the mashed potato across the docks and still not been shot.
Sink Hole: Sam dreams of Liz thankingher for saving Jakeson. Sam wakes with a start and looks around her new digs.
Commercials
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli is on the phone trying to find out where Jason is. He tries to pretend it's no big deal, but then he blurts out "we are at Defcon 1, Red Alert" Why would Spinelli not have at least seen War Games enough to know this makes no sense? Jason shows up, so Spinelli cancels the red alert. Jason angrily tells him to ask El Laptopo where the blahblahgurglegurgle is that Sascha grunted about.
Alleydocks: Luke is on the phone yelling at someone, and then he discovers Sascha's body. he approaches it gingerly and checks for a pulse. Robert happens by at this moment, as he so often does after Luke finds a dead body.
Corinthaus: Claud looks as nervous as a cat and says she dropped an ornament and is trying to find it. Ric hotly says she doesn't pick up after Sonny. Claud calms down and acts like she's just nervous about getting a tree against his wishes. Ric hotly asks if Sonny hurt her. he says she can always call him when Sonny gets upset. Ric sees a broken ornament on the floor. He says he gets that Sonny gets mad, but he doesn't get her wanting to fix it. Ric hotly says the ornament is over here. Since Claud didn't really think there was an ornament, she looks confused. She's going to glue it back together, so Sonny will trust her and she can get what she's after. Ric asks here what she's after. (he has noticed the DVD case, so she needs a diversion) She kisses him and invites him upstairs. Ric happily obliges.
Carly's House: Carly sends Monty upstairs, as she does, and Sonny asks why she called him over. She says she doesn't want him to spend Christmas in a hotel, or missing his dad and brother, so she just wanted to start over. He appreciates it. She says Sonny was right about Chucky, he loved Christmas. he did? That seems like an odd thing for a little boy to do. She says Christmas is supposed to be about miracles, so she hopes theirs can be that they heal. Well, Christmas is also not supposed to be about murdering people for a living, so maybe cut that chit out too!
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin tells Anna and patrick about Robert wanting to ask Mac about walking her down the aisle. Robin asks Anna to be maid of honor.
Alleydocks: Luke and Robert get caught up and decide that obviously as a heart patient and cancer patient, they should go get drunk. Robert asks about the body, and Luke shrugs and boredly says he doesn't know her. He thinks she's a schill for the Russian mob. (Mr. Mad had stopped in to grab something and laughs out loud at this. He's crazy about the Russian Mob being a Thing on the show. "Isn't this a show about a hospital?" he naively asks.
Corinthaus: Claud hurriedly undresses to throw Ric off the scent of the scavenger hunt Jerry has her on.
Metrocourt: Jax and Kate run into each other and have a boring conversation. She asks if he wants to spend Christmas together. Woof, is Kate ever a strange broad.
Carly's House: Sonny uses this incredibly hateable tone and chastises Carly that she has a double standard that keeps Sonny from his kids, but she hangs out with Jason. Carly says Monty never sees Jason, only she does. Sonny says she still sees Jason, which means she blames Sonny more than Jason. Damn straight she does. This would be like Sonny saying "it's like you are blaming WWI on the assassination of Arch Duke Ferdinand." and also, you IDIOT, she GAVE UP HER MARRIAGE TO SAVE YOU. ugh are they making Sonny more hateable so I'll have nothing left for Natalia Livingston? It may be working. Carly says she doesn't want this fight. Sonny hateably says basically that if she's going to be nice enough to let him see his kids he gave up rights to, she has to admit she blames him.
commercials
Alleydocks: Mac and the cops have arrived. Mac angrily says if he wasn't so happy to see Robert, he'd punch his lights out. The brothers Scorpio embrace.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason tries to tell Spinelli all of Sascha's clues, including one about white rock. Jason tells Spinelli to have Laptopo turn on all the video cameras in all the mines and rock quarries in the tri-state area. Spinelli punches all of 20 buttons and says he found a quarry that was for white granite. Oh, and the name of the Quarry just happens to be "Quarry That Is Hard To Escape From If you Are Short and Busty and Tend To Wear Leather" Jason and Spinelli wonder if this could be where Sam is.
Sink Hole: Sam is down to singing about 22 bottles of beer to stay awake. She tries to pace around, but she eventually faints.
Corinthaus: ric and claud enjoy the afterglow. he warns her about Sonny b/c talking about your brother in bed is really not creepy at all, I guess. Ric understates that he made some serious mistakes when it comes to Carly years ago. heh. Ah, how glorious it was. Ric says Sonny never forgives. (well, he technically does. and also, Ric? NO ONE ever forgives chaining their pregnant wife to a wall. I'm pretty sure even Jesus would wince and say "dude! not cool!") Claud says she's staying b/c she doesn't see how she can leave. She stares blankly and thinks of the stupid puzzle and scavenger hunt she's trapped in thanks to Jerry and Ian.
Carly's House: Carly says that Jason says they are all responsible. She says Monty doesn't have to pay for those mistakes, and he needs both of them. She says she'd hoped this Christmas can be the beginning. and even though Sonny is clearly insane still and living in some shame and guilt spiral, she's just gonna go ahead and let his maniac around her kid on a regular basis. She sobs that he has to promise to keep Monty safe. as if his promises mean anything. I have several stocks that mean more than Sonny's promises. She believes if they are honest and talk, they can make it work. Sonny says he appreciates this, and he knows what it cost her. But his voice is dead and annoying, and he clearly knows no such thing. Monty runs downstairs with a Christmas ornament for chucky. Carly tearfully asks him to hang it on the tree. In spite of what an idiot she is, Carly can't help but to be happy watching Sonny and Monty snuggle in to each other and watch the tree and miss Chucky.
Commercials
Alleydocks: Mac says he doesn't suspect Luke or Robert for Sascha's murder. Mac and Robert talk about Robin's wedding. Mac thinks it would be great if Robert walks Robin down the aisle. Robert rightly says that Mac did all the heavy work of being Robin's dad. Mac says he already walked her once, but she wants Robert, and that's how it should be. He threatens to throw Robert in jail if he won't, just to sweeten the pot.
Emma's Closet: Anna also is having a case of the seriously not worthy's and says it should be Maxie. See, the thing about Maid of Honor, is you don't pick the person who is your favorite person, per se. You are picking the person you know you can count on the help you do all the hard work of making the wedding happen. Who will keep you calm and sane. Maxie is who has been doing this, and it's crappy to just blow her off. I know she won't mind, but Anna spends a total of three minutes on this whole thing.
Metrocourt: Jax and Kate have a very fast forwardable conversation.
Sink Hole: Jason found Sam and says it's going to be okay.
Commercials
Mr. Mad clarifies that this is not live, but that there are not a lot of takes for quality.
Emma's Closet: General pleasant chat about family and such. Robin gives a truly lovely toast to learning the meaning of family and being encouraged to make her own from them. sweet.
Sink Hole: Spinelli hollers down that he's waiting for the ambulance. Mr. Mad snorts "ugh, this ridiculous guy" Jason has wrapped some sort of silver blanket around her. We giggle that she has hypothermia, but there is no frost from their breath or any snow, and in fact, Jason looks sweaty. Sam cries weakly that she dreamt she hadn't let his son be kidnapped and she wished it was true. Jason's eyes grow sad as the ambulance approaches.
Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny toast with amber colored wine glasses that I covet.
metrocourt: Monty and Carly find Jax. Monty is a sex maniac like his brother and points out the mistletoe. Jax and Carly kiss dramatically, and Mr. Mad snorts that you're not supposed to make out.
the end
Alleydocks: Sascha writhes in pain. Jason begs her to tell him where Sam is. She gurgles something.
Sink Hole: Sam leans against a post and dreams of watching that lady kidnap Jakeson. Did that lady always look so much like a chubby Amy Ryan? In the dream, Sam angrily stops the lady and says Jakeson is not her baby. The lady sobs and hands the baby to Sam, while Liz looks on in surprise. In the present her make up still looks unsmudged. That's nice.
Carly's House: Sonny and Monty greet each other.
Credits
Emma's Closet: Robert thinks he's been a bad dad and has no right. Why does he think he gets a vote? If she wants Epiphany to walk her down the aisle, the nice thing to do is be gracious and accept. Robert does bring up a good point that it should be Mac. Robin says she's grateful to Mac, but he's her dad.
Corinthaus: Claud goes back to watching Jerry's DVD. Why doesn't she go somewhere more discreet? blah blah, hidden DVD of Danger. oh, gawd, there is a series of these stupid DVD's? So it IS like a survivor puzzle. Stupid mazes and bags of puzzle pieces. Claud starts to look in all the windows, but Ric hotly shows up to ask what she's looking for. He says maybe he can help. I think he means maybe he can hotly help.
Carly's House: poor Monty has to hear his miserable parents try to pretend they are in any way competent and cheer him up about Chucky. Monty is so going to set fire to the town one day. And look so handsome doing it! Sonny does look almost relaxed and happy, though. I think Monty is only a mime around Sonny b/c he's been chatty lately, but he can only gulp and nod in his father's presence. Sonny says Chucky would want Monty to be happy and have a great Christmas. Even the Christmas music is set at a whiny,maudlin level.
Alleydocks: Jason searches through Sascha's pockets and pulls out what I believe is her phone. He finally remembers there's a shooter somewhere, so he crouches behind some boxes. he looks around, and then trots off in a silly looking run. But he's Superjase, so he could have done the mashed potato across the docks and still not been shot.
Sink Hole: Sam dreams of Liz thankingher for saving Jakeson. Sam wakes with a start and looks around her new digs.
Commercials
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli is on the phone trying to find out where Jason is. He tries to pretend it's no big deal, but then he blurts out "we are at Defcon 1, Red Alert" Why would Spinelli not have at least seen War Games enough to know this makes no sense? Jason shows up, so Spinelli cancels the red alert. Jason angrily tells him to ask El Laptopo where the blahblahgurglegurgle is that Sascha grunted about.
Alleydocks: Luke is on the phone yelling at someone, and then he discovers Sascha's body. he approaches it gingerly and checks for a pulse. Robert happens by at this moment, as he so often does after Luke finds a dead body.
Corinthaus: Claud looks as nervous as a cat and says she dropped an ornament and is trying to find it. Ric hotly says she doesn't pick up after Sonny. Claud calms down and acts like she's just nervous about getting a tree against his wishes. Ric hotly asks if Sonny hurt her. he says she can always call him when Sonny gets upset. Ric sees a broken ornament on the floor. He says he gets that Sonny gets mad, but he doesn't get her wanting to fix it. Ric hotly says the ornament is over here. Since Claud didn't really think there was an ornament, she looks confused. She's going to glue it back together, so Sonny will trust her and she can get what she's after. Ric asks here what she's after. (he has noticed the DVD case, so she needs a diversion) She kisses him and invites him upstairs. Ric happily obliges.
Carly's House: Carly sends Monty upstairs, as she does, and Sonny asks why she called him over. She says she doesn't want him to spend Christmas in a hotel, or missing his dad and brother, so she just wanted to start over. He appreciates it. She says Sonny was right about Chucky, he loved Christmas. he did? That seems like an odd thing for a little boy to do. She says Christmas is supposed to be about miracles, so she hopes theirs can be that they heal. Well, Christmas is also not supposed to be about murdering people for a living, so maybe cut that chit out too!
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin tells Anna and patrick about Robert wanting to ask Mac about walking her down the aisle. Robin asks Anna to be maid of honor.
Alleydocks: Luke and Robert get caught up and decide that obviously as a heart patient and cancer patient, they should go get drunk. Robert asks about the body, and Luke shrugs and boredly says he doesn't know her. He thinks she's a schill for the Russian mob. (Mr. Mad had stopped in to grab something and laughs out loud at this. He's crazy about the Russian Mob being a Thing on the show. "Isn't this a show about a hospital?" he naively asks.
Corinthaus: Claud hurriedly undresses to throw Ric off the scent of the scavenger hunt Jerry has her on.
Metrocourt: Jax and Kate run into each other and have a boring conversation. She asks if he wants to spend Christmas together. Woof, is Kate ever a strange broad.
Carly's House: Sonny uses this incredibly hateable tone and chastises Carly that she has a double standard that keeps Sonny from his kids, but she hangs out with Jason. Carly says Monty never sees Jason, only she does. Sonny says she still sees Jason, which means she blames Sonny more than Jason. Damn straight she does. This would be like Sonny saying "it's like you are blaming WWI on the assassination of Arch Duke Ferdinand." and also, you IDIOT, she GAVE UP HER MARRIAGE TO SAVE YOU. ugh are they making Sonny more hateable so I'll have nothing left for Natalia Livingston? It may be working. Carly says she doesn't want this fight. Sonny hateably says basically that if she's going to be nice enough to let him see his kids he gave up rights to, she has to admit she blames him.
commercials
Alleydocks: Mac and the cops have arrived. Mac angrily says if he wasn't so happy to see Robert, he'd punch his lights out. The brothers Scorpio embrace.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason tries to tell Spinelli all of Sascha's clues, including one about white rock. Jason tells Spinelli to have Laptopo turn on all the video cameras in all the mines and rock quarries in the tri-state area. Spinelli punches all of 20 buttons and says he found a quarry that was for white granite. Oh, and the name of the Quarry just happens to be "Quarry That Is Hard To Escape From If you Are Short and Busty and Tend To Wear Leather" Jason and Spinelli wonder if this could be where Sam is.
Sink Hole: Sam is down to singing about 22 bottles of beer to stay awake. She tries to pace around, but she eventually faints.
Corinthaus: ric and claud enjoy the afterglow. he warns her about Sonny b/c talking about your brother in bed is really not creepy at all, I guess. Ric understates that he made some serious mistakes when it comes to Carly years ago. heh. Ah, how glorious it was. Ric says Sonny never forgives. (well, he technically does. and also, Ric? NO ONE ever forgives chaining their pregnant wife to a wall. I'm pretty sure even Jesus would wince and say "dude! not cool!") Claud says she's staying b/c she doesn't see how she can leave. She stares blankly and thinks of the stupid puzzle and scavenger hunt she's trapped in thanks to Jerry and Ian.
Carly's House: Carly says that Jason says they are all responsible. She says Monty doesn't have to pay for those mistakes, and he needs both of them. She says she'd hoped this Christmas can be the beginning. and even though Sonny is clearly insane still and living in some shame and guilt spiral, she's just gonna go ahead and let his maniac around her kid on a regular basis. She sobs that he has to promise to keep Monty safe. as if his promises mean anything. I have several stocks that mean more than Sonny's promises. She believes if they are honest and talk, they can make it work. Sonny says he appreciates this, and he knows what it cost her. But his voice is dead and annoying, and he clearly knows no such thing. Monty runs downstairs with a Christmas ornament for chucky. Carly tearfully asks him to hang it on the tree. In spite of what an idiot she is, Carly can't help but to be happy watching Sonny and Monty snuggle in to each other and watch the tree and miss Chucky.
Commercials
Alleydocks: Mac says he doesn't suspect Luke or Robert for Sascha's murder. Mac and Robert talk about Robin's wedding. Mac thinks it would be great if Robert walks Robin down the aisle. Robert rightly says that Mac did all the heavy work of being Robin's dad. Mac says he already walked her once, but she wants Robert, and that's how it should be. He threatens to throw Robert in jail if he won't, just to sweeten the pot.
Emma's Closet: Anna also is having a case of the seriously not worthy's and says it should be Maxie. See, the thing about Maid of Honor, is you don't pick the person who is your favorite person, per se. You are picking the person you know you can count on the help you do all the hard work of making the wedding happen. Who will keep you calm and sane. Maxie is who has been doing this, and it's crappy to just blow her off. I know she won't mind, but Anna spends a total of three minutes on this whole thing.
Metrocourt: Jax and Kate have a very fast forwardable conversation.
Sink Hole: Jason found Sam and says it's going to be okay.
Commercials
Mr. Mad clarifies that this is not live, but that there are not a lot of takes for quality.
Emma's Closet: General pleasant chat about family and such. Robin gives a truly lovely toast to learning the meaning of family and being encouraged to make her own from them. sweet.
Sink Hole: Spinelli hollers down that he's waiting for the ambulance. Mr. Mad snorts "ugh, this ridiculous guy" Jason has wrapped some sort of silver blanket around her. We giggle that she has hypothermia, but there is no frost from their breath or any snow, and in fact, Jason looks sweaty. Sam cries weakly that she dreamt she hadn't let his son be kidnapped and she wished it was true. Jason's eyes grow sad as the ambulance approaches.
Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny toast with amber colored wine glasses that I covet.
metrocourt: Monty and Carly find Jax. Monty is a sex maniac like his brother and points out the mistletoe. Jax and Carly kiss dramatically, and Mr. Mad snorts that you're not supposed to make out.
the end
OLTL Recap 12/22: Lawyers, Guns and Chloe
Courthouse: Nora sputters that the kidnapping will be dealt with at trial. Tea says to have a trial, there have to be charges, and she intends to prove the kidnapping is as bogus as the rape trial. The judge is totally in love with Tea, so he allows it.
Vicki warns Clint that Ess is having hard times. Tess is in a straitjacket, but Bess warns she's never getting out of here.
Brody hotly sits in therapy and doesn't feel like talking. He's sad about Jess being and Ess. He and Jess confided in each other, but Tess used it against him.
Gigi, aka, time to fast forward...
Courthouse: Tea asks for permission to treat the witness as hostile. She starts off "Leuitenant...oh, sorry, MISTER McBain" I want to marry Tea. She asks if John was a jerk to Todd from the get go. John says Todd was a person of interest, but Tea angrily reminds that John wasn't assigned to todd. John thinks he's so funny and awesome, so he smiles he was never assigned. Tea points out that John's relentless pursuit of Todd is personal, and that Marty and John used to be lovers. John quits smiling. Ha!
Credits
The episode it titled Lawyers, Guns, and Chloe, so now I have to listen to that song. Nora boringly objects, but the judge still hates her, so she's overruled. John will only admit that he and Marty had a personal relationship. He denies Tea's question that he was jealous that Marty was living with Todd. John implies Marty wasn't there of her own free will. Tea points out that John hates Todd and is sleeping with his ex-wife. Nora objects and the judge sustains. Tea asks if John broke into Todd's house without a warrant. John agrees this is true. Tea adds another layer of sarcasm and anger to her voice and asks if after John did all this illegal stuff, was Marty happy to see him. John flashes back to breaking through a wall of glass (without sustaining any injuries and remembers Marty looking confused and surprised.) Marty, in the present stands up and yells that he got her out of prison with Todd, so she's glad. Nora and Blair try to calm her.
Crazytown: Tess sneers at Bess that she's going to get out. Bess says that keeping Jess submerged, keeps them all in St. Anne's. Tess says she's staying charge until she figures out what Bess did to her baby.
Llanfair: Vicki holds Chloe and tells Clint that Jess has gone all Essy and thinks something is wrong with her baby.
Angel Square: Cole and Starr fight about his mother being destroyed by her dad. She says she knows how he feels. He says she really doesn't, and he hope she never knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of Todd's misery-making. Cole detests Tea. Starr doesn't think they should give up. Cole wants to do something, but Starr thinks he wants to do something with a gun. She says he has to let the system work. Cole shouts the system sucks, so he's going to kill Todd. Starr discourages this, but it's frankly a lukewarm discussion.
Courthouse: The judge lets Tea go back to questioning. She asks if Marty was chained to the bed. John says no. Tea asks if Marty said "thank God you're here, Todd has been holding me, thanks for saving me." Nora objects that Marty didn't remember John. Tea rephrases and asks if John was happy to see him. John says she wasn't at first.
Commercials:
Nora objects. Tea asks if Marty was hurt in any way. John says she was fine physically. Tea asks if when John arrived to save the day, did Marty say she couldn't wait to leave and hated Todd. John softly answers "no"
Cole tries to convince Starr they need to kill her dad.
Tea questions John, and he recalls Marty pulling a gun on him. He tells the court that Marty threatened to shoot him. He realized she lost her memory and didn't know who Manning was. Tea cuts him off and asks if she ever put the gun down. He says Todd came in, so he pulled his gun on Todd. Tea clarifies that Marty pulled a gun on John, and John pulled a gun on Todd, and Todd was the only unarmed man. She says her client was the victim that night. She submits to the judge that John broke into Todd's home and beat him and put him in the hospital. The guilty party is John, not Todd.
Angel Square: Starr reminds Cole that they promised not to be torn apart by their parents. Cole reasonably points out that this was before Todd kidnapped and made Marty feel raped. Starr says if Cole kills him, his life will be over.
St. Anne's: Bess assures Tess she did nothing to the baby. Bess says Jess's relationship with Brody is helpful to her, but Tess blew it by using info against him. Tess angrily sneers that Brody goes around seeing a kid he killed in Iraq. Heh, Tess hates Brody. Tess tries to make a deal with Bess, that if she tells her what happened to her baby, she'll let Jess out.
Therapy: Brody talks to Doctor about the boy he killed. He talks about wanting to be a good dad to Shane. Doctor wonders if Brody is feeling guilty about the kid in Iraq, and he has to deal with that guilt, or the boy will always haunt him.
GG= FF
Commercials
Therapy: Brody says he was good with Shane, better than he thought he'd be. He says when stupid Gigi went out of town, it was all him. The doctor kindly says Shane was lucky to have Brody. Brody says he got a card from him, saying he missed him. the doctor says this isn't about Shane. This is about war, where the rules are different. Brody angrily says it doesn't make it alright. He pulled the trigger. The doctor asks if Tess made Brody feel he'd never be free of the little boy.
St. Anne's: Tess and Bess continue to fight. I think it's some sort of flashback of Tess rocking the baby and saying everything will be fine, with no more chaos. In the present, Bess simply says everything will be fine. Tess goes a bit more crazy at this and bellows "what does that mean?" several times.
Llanfair: Clint and Vicki talk about what Jess went though in that cold cabin, giving birth alone. Vicki says Jess could have bleed to death, and Chloe could have died. She wonders if Jess is just still dealing with the trauma.
Angel Square: Starr and Cole fight about murdering her dad.
Couthouse: Tea gets John to admit that he acted illegally. Tea points out that any info gained from John's stupid mission, is poison fruit and not admissable. John still snots to the judge that he'd do it all over again the same way. John is kind of an idiot, no? John gets off the stand. Tea says that there is almost no usable evidence in this case. Nora repeats that Marty didn't want to be with Todd,a nd thus the kidnapping charges have to stand. Didn't we JUST prove that Marty was in love with and happy with Todd? Tea wants to question Marty again. The judge will allow it, but Todd objects.
Commercials
Courthouse: The judge chastises Todd that he's the defendant. Tea sits by todd and asks quietly what she's doing. He says they can't beat up on Marty again. Tea compassionately says to Todd that he was good to her, and doesn't he want to prove he never meant her any harm? Meanwhile the judge calls Marty to the stand. Marty glowers at Todd as she stands.
The judge tells Marty she's still under oath. How does that work, exactly? When does the oath wear off? Tea questions Todd again. Marty says they hid from the police b/c Todd said John caused her accident, and if John knew she was alive, he'd kill her. Tea asks if anyone else ever heard Todd say this. Tea asks if anyone else ever came to the door. Marty says they did. Tea pretends to be confused again, and asks if Todd said these other people were going to kill her. She asks if Todd threatened to kill her or hurt her or from using a phone. She remembers Todd handing her a phone. She remembers Todd telling her she has to leave his house. In the present Marty says he could do those things b/c he had her programmed. Tea says that the truth is that Marty was attracted to Todd and wanted to be with him.
Angel Square: Blah blah, kill Todd. Don't kill Todd.
Courthouse: Nora says Todd kept Marty's son from him, just like he kept the gang rape from him. He says this is all false imprisonment. Tea asks why Marty didn't call the FBI if she was so afraid. She didn't choose to access the information when she was online. Tea says Todd failed to tell her certain important things, like she had a son. She agrees it's unethical, but it's not illegal. She says Todd has been tortured by what he did to Marty in college, and when he found her broken and alone, he wanted to atone for his sins, and that's what he believed he was doing. Marty is struck by this notion. The judge calls a recess to make his decision.
Marty apologetically tells Nora she did her best. Nora says she did great, and she doesn't know how Tea sleeps.
Blair asks John what he'll do to Todd if he goes free.
Commercials
Courthouse: Marty and Cole chat. She says she's not upset with him. The judge is back and has a decision. Of course, we have to hear from Gigi first.
FF
St. Anne's: Bess tries to convince Tess not to go down this road and just trust her. Bess says she has to just drop this, or she'll regret it. Tess's eyes fill with tears as the repressed memories of losing her baby swirl somewhere deep in a hidden spot.
Courthouse: Judgypoo sums up. It doesn't look good for the prosecution. Marty stares in horror, as she realizes this. The judge says he is dropping all charges. He adds "I say with deep regret, you are free to go. You are deeply troubled." Starr wackily stands up and declares that Todd was going to steal her baby. oy.
Commercials
Therapy: Brody continues to struggle and believes he's going to tell. Doctor says he can't listen to Tess b/c she's ruthless. Brody says Tess is desperate to see her kid. He feels that way, and Shane is not even his.
St. Anne's: Tess slumps onto the bed. Bess says that Tess looks scared. She says everything will be alright. "Let Jessica out, and we can all go home" Tess collapses against the pillows and cries. Bess picks up some photos of Chloe and Brie and says the girls need their mom.
Llanfair: Clint, Vicki and Chloe hang an ornament on the tree. Aw. Vicki says "welcome tot he family, sweetheart" and kisses her little head.
St. Anne's: Jess wakes with a start and looks down in fear at her bindings. She wonders aloud what Tess did.
Courthouse: Starr says Todd confessed to her that he was going to kidnap her child.
The End
Vicki warns Clint that Ess is having hard times. Tess is in a straitjacket, but Bess warns she's never getting out of here.
Brody hotly sits in therapy and doesn't feel like talking. He's sad about Jess being and Ess. He and Jess confided in each other, but Tess used it against him.
Gigi, aka, time to fast forward...
Courthouse: Tea asks for permission to treat the witness as hostile. She starts off "Leuitenant...oh, sorry, MISTER McBain" I want to marry Tea. She asks if John was a jerk to Todd from the get go. John says Todd was a person of interest, but Tea angrily reminds that John wasn't assigned to todd. John thinks he's so funny and awesome, so he smiles he was never assigned. Tea points out that John's relentless pursuit of Todd is personal, and that Marty and John used to be lovers. John quits smiling. Ha!
Credits
The episode it titled Lawyers, Guns, and Chloe, so now I have to listen to that song. Nora boringly objects, but the judge still hates her, so she's overruled. John will only admit that he and Marty had a personal relationship. He denies Tea's question that he was jealous that Marty was living with Todd. John implies Marty wasn't there of her own free will. Tea points out that John hates Todd and is sleeping with his ex-wife. Nora objects and the judge sustains. Tea asks if John broke into Todd's house without a warrant. John agrees this is true. Tea adds another layer of sarcasm and anger to her voice and asks if after John did all this illegal stuff, was Marty happy to see him. John flashes back to breaking through a wall of glass (without sustaining any injuries and remembers Marty looking confused and surprised.) Marty, in the present stands up and yells that he got her out of prison with Todd, so she's glad. Nora and Blair try to calm her.
Crazytown: Tess sneers at Bess that she's going to get out. Bess says that keeping Jess submerged, keeps them all in St. Anne's. Tess says she's staying charge until she figures out what Bess did to her baby.
Llanfair: Vicki holds Chloe and tells Clint that Jess has gone all Essy and thinks something is wrong with her baby.
Angel Square: Cole and Starr fight about his mother being destroyed by her dad. She says she knows how he feels. He says she really doesn't, and he hope she never knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of Todd's misery-making. Cole detests Tea. Starr doesn't think they should give up. Cole wants to do something, but Starr thinks he wants to do something with a gun. She says he has to let the system work. Cole shouts the system sucks, so he's going to kill Todd. Starr discourages this, but it's frankly a lukewarm discussion.
Courthouse: The judge lets Tea go back to questioning. She asks if Marty was chained to the bed. John says no. Tea asks if Marty said "thank God you're here, Todd has been holding me, thanks for saving me." Nora objects that Marty didn't remember John. Tea rephrases and asks if John was happy to see him. John says she wasn't at first.
Commercials:
Nora objects. Tea asks if Marty was hurt in any way. John says she was fine physically. Tea asks if when John arrived to save the day, did Marty say she couldn't wait to leave and hated Todd. John softly answers "no"
Cole tries to convince Starr they need to kill her dad.
Tea questions John, and he recalls Marty pulling a gun on him. He tells the court that Marty threatened to shoot him. He realized she lost her memory and didn't know who Manning was. Tea cuts him off and asks if she ever put the gun down. He says Todd came in, so he pulled his gun on Todd. Tea clarifies that Marty pulled a gun on John, and John pulled a gun on Todd, and Todd was the only unarmed man. She says her client was the victim that night. She submits to the judge that John broke into Todd's home and beat him and put him in the hospital. The guilty party is John, not Todd.
Angel Square: Starr reminds Cole that they promised not to be torn apart by their parents. Cole reasonably points out that this was before Todd kidnapped and made Marty feel raped. Starr says if Cole kills him, his life will be over.
St. Anne's: Bess assures Tess she did nothing to the baby. Bess says Jess's relationship with Brody is helpful to her, but Tess blew it by using info against him. Tess angrily sneers that Brody goes around seeing a kid he killed in Iraq. Heh, Tess hates Brody. Tess tries to make a deal with Bess, that if she tells her what happened to her baby, she'll let Jess out.
Therapy: Brody talks to Doctor about the boy he killed. He talks about wanting to be a good dad to Shane. Doctor wonders if Brody is feeling guilty about the kid in Iraq, and he has to deal with that guilt, or the boy will always haunt him.
GG= FF
Commercials
Therapy: Brody says he was good with Shane, better than he thought he'd be. He says when stupid Gigi went out of town, it was all him. The doctor kindly says Shane was lucky to have Brody. Brody says he got a card from him, saying he missed him. the doctor says this isn't about Shane. This is about war, where the rules are different. Brody angrily says it doesn't make it alright. He pulled the trigger. The doctor asks if Tess made Brody feel he'd never be free of the little boy.
St. Anne's: Tess and Bess continue to fight. I think it's some sort of flashback of Tess rocking the baby and saying everything will be fine, with no more chaos. In the present, Bess simply says everything will be fine. Tess goes a bit more crazy at this and bellows "what does that mean?" several times.
Llanfair: Clint and Vicki talk about what Jess went though in that cold cabin, giving birth alone. Vicki says Jess could have bleed to death, and Chloe could have died. She wonders if Jess is just still dealing with the trauma.
Angel Square: Starr and Cole fight about murdering her dad.
Couthouse: Tea gets John to admit that he acted illegally. Tea points out that any info gained from John's stupid mission, is poison fruit and not admissable. John still snots to the judge that he'd do it all over again the same way. John is kind of an idiot, no? John gets off the stand. Tea says that there is almost no usable evidence in this case. Nora repeats that Marty didn't want to be with Todd,a nd thus the kidnapping charges have to stand. Didn't we JUST prove that Marty was in love with and happy with Todd? Tea wants to question Marty again. The judge will allow it, but Todd objects.
Commercials
Courthouse: The judge chastises Todd that he's the defendant. Tea sits by todd and asks quietly what she's doing. He says they can't beat up on Marty again. Tea compassionately says to Todd that he was good to her, and doesn't he want to prove he never meant her any harm? Meanwhile the judge calls Marty to the stand. Marty glowers at Todd as she stands.
The judge tells Marty she's still under oath. How does that work, exactly? When does the oath wear off? Tea questions Todd again. Marty says they hid from the police b/c Todd said John caused her accident, and if John knew she was alive, he'd kill her. Tea asks if anyone else ever heard Todd say this. Tea asks if anyone else ever came to the door. Marty says they did. Tea pretends to be confused again, and asks if Todd said these other people were going to kill her. She asks if Todd threatened to kill her or hurt her or from using a phone. She remembers Todd handing her a phone. She remembers Todd telling her she has to leave his house. In the present Marty says he could do those things b/c he had her programmed. Tea says that the truth is that Marty was attracted to Todd and wanted to be with him.
Angel Square: Blah blah, kill Todd. Don't kill Todd.
Courthouse: Nora says Todd kept Marty's son from him, just like he kept the gang rape from him. He says this is all false imprisonment. Tea asks why Marty didn't call the FBI if she was so afraid. She didn't choose to access the information when she was online. Tea says Todd failed to tell her certain important things, like she had a son. She agrees it's unethical, but it's not illegal. She says Todd has been tortured by what he did to Marty in college, and when he found her broken and alone, he wanted to atone for his sins, and that's what he believed he was doing. Marty is struck by this notion. The judge calls a recess to make his decision.
Marty apologetically tells Nora she did her best. Nora says she did great, and she doesn't know how Tea sleeps.
Blair asks John what he'll do to Todd if he goes free.
Commercials
Courthouse: Marty and Cole chat. She says she's not upset with him. The judge is back and has a decision. Of course, we have to hear from Gigi first.
FF
St. Anne's: Bess tries to convince Tess not to go down this road and just trust her. Bess says she has to just drop this, or she'll regret it. Tess's eyes fill with tears as the repressed memories of losing her baby swirl somewhere deep in a hidden spot.
Courthouse: Judgypoo sums up. It doesn't look good for the prosecution. Marty stares in horror, as she realizes this. The judge says he is dropping all charges. He adds "I say with deep regret, you are free to go. You are deeply troubled." Starr wackily stands up and declares that Todd was going to steal her baby. oy.
Commercials
Therapy: Brody continues to struggle and believes he's going to tell. Doctor says he can't listen to Tess b/c she's ruthless. Brody says Tess is desperate to see her kid. He feels that way, and Shane is not even his.
St. Anne's: Tess slumps onto the bed. Bess says that Tess looks scared. She says everything will be alright. "Let Jessica out, and we can all go home" Tess collapses against the pillows and cries. Bess picks up some photos of Chloe and Brie and says the girls need their mom.
Llanfair: Clint, Vicki and Chloe hang an ornament on the tree. Aw. Vicki says "welcome tot he family, sweetheart" and kisses her little head.
St. Anne's: Jess wakes with a start and looks down in fear at her bindings. She wonders aloud what Tess did.
Courthouse: Starr says Todd confessed to her that he was going to kidnap her child.
The End
OLTL Recap 12/19: Disorder in the Court!
Courtroom: Marty is on the stand being questioned by Tea. Tea asks Marty if she's in love with Todd. Marty pauses while she and Todd dramatically stare at each other. Nora objects, but Tea calmly assures the judge she has a point.
Nora says the victim's feelings about her attacker are irrelevant. Tea says this is a "He said/she said" case, and no evidence that sex of any kind occurred. She says she can prove that the claims against Todd are groundless. The judge explains it all for us that he'll give her some leeway to prove Marty's credibility. (Blair whispers to John that Tea is evil.) Tea repeats the question, and Marty gravely says "no, I'm not in love with Todd Manning. Not anymore." Then she slumps back in her chair a bit.
Credits
Angel Square: Dorian and Rex fight over a Z-box. Dorian hates Rex still. That's always reassuring.
Courtroom: Tea questions Marty for the "anymore" part of not loving Todd. Tea purrs "where you ever in love with him." Marty regrefully but honestly hisses "yesss!"
As per usual, all plotlines involving the Vegas (Carlotta excluded) is soooo dumb and boring. Shut up, Flash.
Courthouse: Tea haughtily thanks Marty for her candor. She asks when did Marty have feelings for Todd and asks if they were in college. Marty says she has no memory of her life before her accident, but given their history, she assumes she hated Todd then. Tea cuts her off and says a simple yes or no will do. (well then ask yes or no questions, Tea) Tea asks if Marty developed these feelings during her stay with Todd. Marty angrily says she came to have feelings for him while she was held hostage, but Tea speaks over the "hostage" part and says "in his home." Heh, lawyers suck. Cole glares angrily from the peanut gallery as Tea continues to ask "while the two of you were falling in love during that 6 month period, did you have sex?" Marty stares off to the side and whispers, "I would not call it that." Tea asks Marty to answer the question, and the judge agrees. Marty turns her head back to Tea and angrily answers "yes." Tea asks if it's safe to say she was in love with Todd when she had sex with him. Marty turns her face away and chews her the inside of her lip.
Commercials
Courthouse: Tea impatiently asks Marty to answer the question, but Nora finally remembers she's Marty's attorney and objects, saying it's been established that Todd and Marty had sex, that Todd and Marty lived together, and that's the only reason they are here, so they are done . Tea says she's just getting started. That because Marty and Todd were in love, that any sex they had was consensual and doesn't fit the legal definition of rape. Marty and Todd eye each other miserably.
What happens to the Vegas stays with the Vegas. I'm bummed Langston is involved with this b/c I like her.
Angel Square: Dorian still hates Rex.
Courthouse: Nora puts on this annoying arrogant and sarcastic voice and says that Tea has brought up the issue of consent and wonders sarcastically how an amnesiac gives consent because her sarcastic understanding of the law clearly designates amnesia and a mental disability and renders a patient (and then Tea hilariously speaks the last part of the law in unison with Nora) "incapable of giving consent." Nora looks over at Tea sharply and in surprise as Tea continues, a bit bored with Nora's lame legal skills, and says she's aware of the statute. Cole angrily stands up and shouts Marty didn't know what she was doing or who Todd was. John stands to calm Cole. Nora says Cole is Marty's so, and even though he was out of order, he made Nora's point. She speechifies that Marty couldn't give consent b/c she didn't know Todd had raped her and perpetrated her gang rape, and she didn't know this b/c Todd purposefully kept her in the dark, kept her under guard, kept her from friends and family, kept her from her son. Marty sits quietly and cries while Nora calls it a fraud. He says Todd raped Marty by denying her the right to say no. Tea calmly stands up and asks if when Nora slept with her gay husband Daniel Colson, was that rape too? The judge warns Tea for no more nonsense like that. Nora is once again utterly flummoxed. Starr just stares in disbelief, probably wishing she'd been abducted by aliens years ago. Tea says the case law involving amnesia and consent is ambiguous, and she needs to finish her questioning. Todd stands up and shouts with a hoarse voice that the judge has to stop Tea and quit doing this to Marty. Marty stares up in surprise, with her swollen, red eyes.
Commercials
Courthouse: Tea terrifyingly hisses at Todd that she has to force the truth out of Marty now, or she'll face a much worse time of it at trial. She grabs his shoulder in warning, and he wrestles away from her. Her eyes are so angry, and she rules. She tells him to sit down, shut up and let her do her job. Even Todd can only slump back in his chair when faced with Tea's rage. She turns to the judge, and is all smiles and purring professionalism and apologizes to the judge. Nora says her objection still stands, and the judge shuts her down. He tells Tea to get on with it. She purrs that she will with pleasure.
Shut up, Manessa.
Courthouse: Tea asks if Marty had access to a computer while "convalescing at Todd's" heh, Tea is the best. Marty remembers getting online once. Tea asks her what she learned. Marty recalls reading about her rape at Kappa Alpha. In the present Marty says she found the article. Tea purrs "you mean the first time you accused Todd of rape." Nora objects that Todd was tried and convicted, not just accused. Tea turns and with the gentility of the finest southern belle you ever did know, like the kind that aren't even racist is how lovely she sounds, she says she will reprhase. Nora snottily thanks her, and Tea drawls that she is welcome. Tea turns back to Marty and asks when she found the article. Marty says it was the beginning of October. Tea asks when she left Todd's. Marty says when John...but then she corrects herself and says "when the police found me." Tea purrs that she was looking for an approximate date. Marty becomes aggitated and says it was early November. Tea leans forward and I don't know what her voice is doing but it's gentle like a breeze but scary like a chainsaw and says that thus Marty knew that Todd was convicted of raping her, but she chose to stay in his house for another month. Marty angrily says she didn't know he was one of her attackers. Tea asks how this could be, and Marty says that Todd convinced her not to read the article.
Tea furrows her pretty brow and asks for clarification. "you wondered about your past for months, yet when you found information about it, you chose to remain in the dark."
Marty remembers talking to Todd and his saying that he thought they just wanted to look to the future. In the present, Marty says it's b/c Todd said they should leave the past in the past. Tea purrs that because Marty loved him, she agreed. Nora objects, but the judge sustains. Tea walks away from the stand and asks to talk about the night Todd and Marty had sex. Cole listens miserably, as you do when your mother's sex life is discussed in court. Or anywhere.
Dorian hates Rex.
Courtroom: Tea says Todd got a call that Starr was in the hospital. She asked what happened. Marty says Todd was upset. Tea asks if she tried to comfort him. Marty sadly says she did. (flashback of Todd turning to see Marty dressed up in a hot black dress and hotter heels.) Tea asks if Marty's comfort included changing into a black dress. Marty curls her lip in disgust and says what does it matter how she dressed. (flashback of Todd telling her that she is wonderful, but this isn't right.) In the present Marty says Todd tried to stop her. She angrily says she responded exactly the way he wanted her to. She looks nauseous as she says it. Tea asks what Marty did. (flashback to Marty telling Todd she's in love with him, and she's only leaving if he tells her to.) Tea asks Marty if she went upstairs. Marty curtly answers yes. Marty asks if Todd followed her upstairs. Marty says yes. (flashback to Marty kissing Todd and blissfully telling him she wants a life with him and his grandchild) Tea asks if Marty invited Todd upstairs. Marty manages to whisper a soft "yes" Nora objects, and the judge says not so many details to Tea. Tea asks if Todd initiated sex right away. (flashback to Marty talking Todd into knowing that he's not a man who has ever scared her.) Nora objects and says that Todd has raped Marty and thus it is proven that he can hurt her. Tea says they lived together for months, and marty was never afraid of him. Nora objects that it's b/c Todd only showed her what he wanted her to see. Tea approaches and gently asks if after she told Todd that she trusted him, did they make love. Marty's lips contort as she tries to not cry. She angrily whispers "don't you see I didn't know who he was. If she knew, she would have run and cried and screamed for help. Tea passionately asks if she ever said no, or screamed. Marty sobs and buries her hands in hair as Tea relentlessly continues that she didn't scream or say no because it was what she wanted. Marty's eyes grow a bit wild and she screams in Tea's face " yes, it was what I wanted." But then she starts sobbing and says over and over again, in different impassioned ways "but I didn't know. I didn't know."
Courthouse: Marty is calm again and in a low voice says if she had known the truth, but Tea cuts her off and says that she moves to dismiss the rape charges because Marty just said she wanted to have sex with Todd in that moment. Marty grips the front of the witness stand, trying not to vomit or faint or both, as Tea says they can argue context, but Marty just said Todd had her cosent. Nora objects, but the judge regretfully agrees with Tea and dismisses the rape charge. Marty writhes in misery. (but, isn't there still kidnapping, and isn't that 15 years or so?)
Shut up, Flash and Vanessa.
Courthouse: Cole erupts in anger. The judge calls for a recess so Marty and Cole can calm down. Marty rushes out, and Nora apologizes. Todd idiotically says Marty's name, and Nora dorkily tells him not to touch Marty, ever again. Shut up, Nora's impotence. Worst lawyer ever. In the hallway, Marty rushes off to be alone, and Blair goes to comfort her. Poor, Marty!
Angel Square: Rex buys a Zbox for like 85k from Dorian.
Courthouse Bathroom: Marty washes her face in the bathroom and sobs. She remembers dancing and kissing and falling in love with Todd. Blair shows up to make things worse and says she knows it's hard to get Todd out of your head. Marty's face could kill Blair right now, if she'd just turn around. Alas, she probably won't because she's a nice person. Too bad.
Commercials
Stupid Idiot Wedding Nonsense. Flash agrees to be a stupid witness for the stupid marriage of her stupid boyfriend and this stupid character that is obviously going to get pregnant accidentally and then die. It's what happens to all the Vega women in time.
Courthouse Bathroom: marty says she doesn't know what Blair means. Blair says that if Marty can get over Todd, then more power to her. She tells how she always believed that she was the woman who could make him happy, maybe he would change. Blair points out Tea is probably doing all this b/c she still wants Todd to love her. marty whispers that it's not her concern, and thanks Blair, but says she's fine. She turns to go, but Blair stops her so that she can't just pull it together. Blair says she'd hate to see Marty sign up for more misery. I think Blair's worried she's on the way to the back burner.
Courtroom: Nora taunts Tea and Todd. She wonders what happened to Tea. Nora snottily asks how much Todd is paying her "if it was $5million to marry her, how much does it cost to buy the right to rape a woman." Nora hisses that Todd has already punched her once, so be careful. What will he do if she loses. For some reason Tea considers this.
Stupid wedding. Flash hilariously glowers at Manessa the whole time. the preacher asks if the witnesses will support this marriage. Flash says, full of rage, "oh, I'll be there." so dumb. blah blah, they get married.
Angel Square: Starr finds Cole and holds him. Aw.
Courthouse: Marty walks by John, and Blair says Marty is okay. The judge calls everything back into session. Todd warns Tea to go easy on Marty. Tea tells Todd to relax and that he's going to enjoy the next part. Tea stands to purr that there is still the kidnapping. She's going to prove she can dismiss that as well because she is that sexy and awesome and smart. and also John is her witness, and he's a ding dong.
The end.
Nora says the victim's feelings about her attacker are irrelevant. Tea says this is a "He said/she said" case, and no evidence that sex of any kind occurred. She says she can prove that the claims against Todd are groundless. The judge explains it all for us that he'll give her some leeway to prove Marty's credibility. (Blair whispers to John that Tea is evil.) Tea repeats the question, and Marty gravely says "no, I'm not in love with Todd Manning. Not anymore." Then she slumps back in her chair a bit.
Credits
Angel Square: Dorian and Rex fight over a Z-box. Dorian hates Rex still. That's always reassuring.
Courtroom: Tea questions Marty for the "anymore" part of not loving Todd. Tea purrs "where you ever in love with him." Marty regrefully but honestly hisses "yesss!"
As per usual, all plotlines involving the Vegas (Carlotta excluded) is soooo dumb and boring. Shut up, Flash.
Courthouse: Tea haughtily thanks Marty for her candor. She asks when did Marty have feelings for Todd and asks if they were in college. Marty says she has no memory of her life before her accident, but given their history, she assumes she hated Todd then. Tea cuts her off and says a simple yes or no will do. (well then ask yes or no questions, Tea) Tea asks if Marty developed these feelings during her stay with Todd. Marty angrily says she came to have feelings for him while she was held hostage, but Tea speaks over the "hostage" part and says "in his home." Heh, lawyers suck. Cole glares angrily from the peanut gallery as Tea continues to ask "while the two of you were falling in love during that 6 month period, did you have sex?" Marty stares off to the side and whispers, "I would not call it that." Tea asks Marty to answer the question, and the judge agrees. Marty turns her head back to Tea and angrily answers "yes." Tea asks if it's safe to say she was in love with Todd when she had sex with him. Marty turns her face away and chews her the inside of her lip.
Commercials
Courthouse: Tea impatiently asks Marty to answer the question, but Nora finally remembers she's Marty's attorney and objects, saying it's been established that Todd and Marty had sex, that Todd and Marty lived together, and that's the only reason they are here, so they are done . Tea says she's just getting started. That because Marty and Todd were in love, that any sex they had was consensual and doesn't fit the legal definition of rape. Marty and Todd eye each other miserably.
What happens to the Vegas stays with the Vegas. I'm bummed Langston is involved with this b/c I like her.
Angel Square: Dorian still hates Rex.
Courthouse: Nora puts on this annoying arrogant and sarcastic voice and says that Tea has brought up the issue of consent and wonders sarcastically how an amnesiac gives consent because her sarcastic understanding of the law clearly designates amnesia and a mental disability and renders a patient (and then Tea hilariously speaks the last part of the law in unison with Nora) "incapable of giving consent." Nora looks over at Tea sharply and in surprise as Tea continues, a bit bored with Nora's lame legal skills, and says she's aware of the statute. Cole angrily stands up and shouts Marty didn't know what she was doing or who Todd was. John stands to calm Cole. Nora says Cole is Marty's so, and even though he was out of order, he made Nora's point. She speechifies that Marty couldn't give consent b/c she didn't know Todd had raped her and perpetrated her gang rape, and she didn't know this b/c Todd purposefully kept her in the dark, kept her under guard, kept her from friends and family, kept her from her son. Marty sits quietly and cries while Nora calls it a fraud. He says Todd raped Marty by denying her the right to say no. Tea calmly stands up and asks if when Nora slept with her gay husband Daniel Colson, was that rape too? The judge warns Tea for no more nonsense like that. Nora is once again utterly flummoxed. Starr just stares in disbelief, probably wishing she'd been abducted by aliens years ago. Tea says the case law involving amnesia and consent is ambiguous, and she needs to finish her questioning. Todd stands up and shouts with a hoarse voice that the judge has to stop Tea and quit doing this to Marty. Marty stares up in surprise, with her swollen, red eyes.
Commercials
Courthouse: Tea terrifyingly hisses at Todd that she has to force the truth out of Marty now, or she'll face a much worse time of it at trial. She grabs his shoulder in warning, and he wrestles away from her. Her eyes are so angry, and she rules. She tells him to sit down, shut up and let her do her job. Even Todd can only slump back in his chair when faced with Tea's rage. She turns to the judge, and is all smiles and purring professionalism and apologizes to the judge. Nora says her objection still stands, and the judge shuts her down. He tells Tea to get on with it. She purrs that she will with pleasure.
Shut up, Manessa.
Courthouse: Tea asks if Marty had access to a computer while "convalescing at Todd's" heh, Tea is the best. Marty remembers getting online once. Tea asks her what she learned. Marty recalls reading about her rape at Kappa Alpha. In the present Marty says she found the article. Tea purrs "you mean the first time you accused Todd of rape." Nora objects that Todd was tried and convicted, not just accused. Tea turns and with the gentility of the finest southern belle you ever did know, like the kind that aren't even racist is how lovely she sounds, she says she will reprhase. Nora snottily thanks her, and Tea drawls that she is welcome. Tea turns back to Marty and asks when she found the article. Marty says it was the beginning of October. Tea asks when she left Todd's. Marty says when John...but then she corrects herself and says "when the police found me." Tea purrs that she was looking for an approximate date. Marty becomes aggitated and says it was early November. Tea leans forward and I don't know what her voice is doing but it's gentle like a breeze but scary like a chainsaw and says that thus Marty knew that Todd was convicted of raping her, but she chose to stay in his house for another month. Marty angrily says she didn't know he was one of her attackers. Tea asks how this could be, and Marty says that Todd convinced her not to read the article.
Tea furrows her pretty brow and asks for clarification. "you wondered about your past for months, yet when you found information about it, you chose to remain in the dark."
Marty remembers talking to Todd and his saying that he thought they just wanted to look to the future. In the present, Marty says it's b/c Todd said they should leave the past in the past. Tea purrs that because Marty loved him, she agreed. Nora objects, but the judge sustains. Tea walks away from the stand and asks to talk about the night Todd and Marty had sex. Cole listens miserably, as you do when your mother's sex life is discussed in court. Or anywhere.
Dorian hates Rex.
Courtroom: Tea says Todd got a call that Starr was in the hospital. She asked what happened. Marty says Todd was upset. Tea asks if she tried to comfort him. Marty sadly says she did. (flashback of Todd turning to see Marty dressed up in a hot black dress and hotter heels.) Tea asks if Marty's comfort included changing into a black dress. Marty curls her lip in disgust and says what does it matter how she dressed. (flashback of Todd telling her that she is wonderful, but this isn't right.) In the present Marty says Todd tried to stop her. She angrily says she responded exactly the way he wanted her to. She looks nauseous as she says it. Tea asks what Marty did. (flashback to Marty telling Todd she's in love with him, and she's only leaving if he tells her to.) Tea asks Marty if she went upstairs. Marty curtly answers yes. Marty asks if Todd followed her upstairs. Marty says yes. (flashback to Marty kissing Todd and blissfully telling him she wants a life with him and his grandchild) Tea asks if Marty invited Todd upstairs. Marty manages to whisper a soft "yes" Nora objects, and the judge says not so many details to Tea. Tea asks if Todd initiated sex right away. (flashback to Marty talking Todd into knowing that he's not a man who has ever scared her.) Nora objects and says that Todd has raped Marty and thus it is proven that he can hurt her. Tea says they lived together for months, and marty was never afraid of him. Nora objects that it's b/c Todd only showed her what he wanted her to see. Tea approaches and gently asks if after she told Todd that she trusted him, did they make love. Marty's lips contort as she tries to not cry. She angrily whispers "don't you see I didn't know who he was. If she knew, she would have run and cried and screamed for help. Tea passionately asks if she ever said no, or screamed. Marty sobs and buries her hands in hair as Tea relentlessly continues that she didn't scream or say no because it was what she wanted. Marty's eyes grow a bit wild and she screams in Tea's face " yes, it was what I wanted." But then she starts sobbing and says over and over again, in different impassioned ways "but I didn't know. I didn't know."
Courthouse: Marty is calm again and in a low voice says if she had known the truth, but Tea cuts her off and says that she moves to dismiss the rape charges because Marty just said she wanted to have sex with Todd in that moment. Marty grips the front of the witness stand, trying not to vomit or faint or both, as Tea says they can argue context, but Marty just said Todd had her cosent. Nora objects, but the judge regretfully agrees with Tea and dismisses the rape charge. Marty writhes in misery. (but, isn't there still kidnapping, and isn't that 15 years or so?)
Shut up, Flash and Vanessa.
Courthouse: Cole erupts in anger. The judge calls for a recess so Marty and Cole can calm down. Marty rushes out, and Nora apologizes. Todd idiotically says Marty's name, and Nora dorkily tells him not to touch Marty, ever again. Shut up, Nora's impotence. Worst lawyer ever. In the hallway, Marty rushes off to be alone, and Blair goes to comfort her. Poor, Marty!
Angel Square: Rex buys a Zbox for like 85k from Dorian.
Courthouse Bathroom: Marty washes her face in the bathroom and sobs. She remembers dancing and kissing and falling in love with Todd. Blair shows up to make things worse and says she knows it's hard to get Todd out of your head. Marty's face could kill Blair right now, if she'd just turn around. Alas, she probably won't because she's a nice person. Too bad.
Commercials
Stupid Idiot Wedding Nonsense. Flash agrees to be a stupid witness for the stupid marriage of her stupid boyfriend and this stupid character that is obviously going to get pregnant accidentally and then die. It's what happens to all the Vega women in time.
Courthouse Bathroom: marty says she doesn't know what Blair means. Blair says that if Marty can get over Todd, then more power to her. She tells how she always believed that she was the woman who could make him happy, maybe he would change. Blair points out Tea is probably doing all this b/c she still wants Todd to love her. marty whispers that it's not her concern, and thanks Blair, but says she's fine. She turns to go, but Blair stops her so that she can't just pull it together. Blair says she'd hate to see Marty sign up for more misery. I think Blair's worried she's on the way to the back burner.
Courtroom: Nora taunts Tea and Todd. She wonders what happened to Tea. Nora snottily asks how much Todd is paying her "if it was $5million to marry her, how much does it cost to buy the right to rape a woman." Nora hisses that Todd has already punched her once, so be careful. What will he do if she loses. For some reason Tea considers this.
Stupid wedding. Flash hilariously glowers at Manessa the whole time. the preacher asks if the witnesses will support this marriage. Flash says, full of rage, "oh, I'll be there." so dumb. blah blah, they get married.
Angel Square: Starr finds Cole and holds him. Aw.
Courthouse: Marty walks by John, and Blair says Marty is okay. The judge calls everything back into session. Todd warns Tea to go easy on Marty. Tea tells Todd to relax and that he's going to enjoy the next part. Tea stands to purr that there is still the kidnapping. She's going to prove she can dismiss that as well because she is that sexy and awesome and smart. and also John is her witness, and he's a ding dong.
The end.
Friday, December 19, 2008
GH Recap 12/19: Speed-the-plow
Carly's House: Carly has busted out the Christmas ornaments for the tree. Jax shows up with a gift for the little boy who lives upstairs. Carly is too exhausted to pick a fight. Monty runs downstairs and asks with a face full of hope if Jax is going to spend Christmas with them. Such a cute kid, that one.
Corinthaus: Claud is still listening to Jerry's annoying voice. Sonny walks in and asks what she's hiding.
Sink Hole: Sascha and Jason are still on the phone talking about Sam. Sascha has hilariously been watching Sam try to Mario Brothers her way out of this hole this entire time and warns that if Jason doesn't find her soon, she won't be around to find.
Credits.
Emma's Closet: Anna shows up to say she got all the stuff in London that Robin wanted. Oh, so does that explain where she's been. Anna hears someone walk in, and it turns out to be Robert! Anna asks if his oncologist knows he's here. robert says he only has cancer in a parallel universe that has nothing to do with GH. Or really, he just smiles mysteriously.
Carly's House: Carly explains that Jax will be with Lady Jane b/c she needs her son like Carly needs Monty. Jax decides to let the kid open his gift now. I hope it's a Z-box like on OLTL! Oh, it's just a generic "video game system" I suppose they also use cotton swabs instead of Q-tips and drink carbonated beverages instead of Pepsi?
Corinthaus: Sonny finally notices the cheerfully decorated tree and angrily asks what she's done. Well, Sonny, she's done what she already emphatically said she'd do.
Jason's Penthouse: Sascha demands that Jason meet him on the pier, or Sam dies. Jason tells Spinelli where he's going (Ahem, SAM, see how smart adventure junkies do it? they have a buddy they tell stuff to. Sam needs a Starsky) Spinelli objects and says if Jason gets killed then the world is doomed. He's less dramatic, but we all know it's true. It'd be like in Superman II when Superman decided to become Clark Kent full time so he could bang Lois, and then those evil phantom dudes took over the White House. Gawd, I love that movie!
Commercials
Carly's House: Monty plays with his video game console. Oh, he is pretty young. I guess it should be more Leapfrog than Zombie Killers. The box looks like it holds fun, educational delight for a little kid. Carly ruins Monty's fun and tells him to go upstairs and put on the special zen music earphones she bought him so he won't hear Mommy and _______ fighting all the time. Carly thanks Jax for being a good stepdad. Jax remembers how happy they were last year, and she wonders how they got here. (when were they happy? doesn't he always go surfing this time of year and abandon her or Skye or Brenduh?)
Corinthaus: Claud says she knows he's mad at the universe for Chucky's coma. He angrily (but rightly) says it wasn't God or the universe that got Chucky shot "it was MEEEEE!" and then he throws something and breaks it. Aw, Sonny DOES love Claudia! He only breaks crystal when it's true love.
GH: Patrick and Shawn Douglas bicker a little bit about Shawn Douglas' gift to Emma. Patrick invites Shawn to his wedding the day after Christmas. he also asks him to be his best man. Shawn Douglas is quite flummoxed.
Emma's Closet: Robert and Anna have tea. He assures her he's in remission, but she's going to check up at the clinic to make sure. He says she's welcome to call them b/c he's being honest. Then they bicker about being able to kick each other's booties. Robin comes home and jubilantly asks them what they are doing. Anna guiltily says they are fighting. Robert says they are playing catch up, and then he pats her fanny in such a way that makes her wiggly.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin cuddles Emma. I'm so sure that Robert and Anna could just stand there and not grab that cutie baby from her. I fully plan on handing my kid off before my mom even says hello. Robert holds her and gives her a bottle. She gives out a few squeels. Robin is doing a good job of pretending like she doesn't hate her baby, so Emma relaxes. Robert sweetly says that Emma is proof he did something right in this world. He tells her he was in the hospital knocking on heaven's door, then he jokes it was probably the other place, but he knew there was something he needed to do. He kisses her forehead when she coos and says "you, my darling, were definitely worth the fight." aw!
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli wonders why Jason is going to endanger himself. Jason grumpily says Sam saved Jakeson, so what does Spinelli want him to do? Well, for starters, you can only save people who don't purposefully put themselves in danger. Love ya, Sam, but COME ON!
Sink Hole: Sam writhes in pain, her face wet with tears, and her leg clearly broken or otherwise terribly injured. She tries to get back up, but she falls down in agony.
Carly's House: Carly cries about missing Chucky. Monty runs downstairs with a picture he made of Lady Jane. Jax says he's a great artist. Monty says "I miss you." and hugs Jax and causes Carly to sob. Gee, Carlidiot, maybe you should thought of THIS MOMENT when you traded in your marriage to save that jerkweed mobster, Sonny. You won't let Sonny see Monty, so why would you give up the one man you do think is worthy of your demon spawn?
Corinthaus: Sonny is in rare form for this scene. Claud says Sonny didn't put Chucky in a coma b/c he was the intended target. Sonny says he should have had guards (yes, 24/7) He says he should have reacted differently when he saw the rifle (you mean diving for your lover instead of your child? right again!) Sonny strikes at the air with his fist and talks about the people who continue to hurt people. He says Devlin crossed the line when he tried to kill him in front of his child. This jerkmonster doesn't even see it as Devlin's main sin was firing when a kid was present. Sonny is the worst. Claud apologizes for making Christmas worse for him. Sonny says the only gift he wants is to find out if the man who shot his son had an accomplice. claud holds back tears and says Devlin paid with his life. Sonny whispers, in what I believe is supposed to be a threatening way "it's not enough"
Commercials
Nurse's Station: Patrick finds Shawn Douglas and asks if he is going to be his best man. Shawn-D asks about Coleman,a nd Patrick says he'll understand. Shawn-D says he had plans with football and big screen and cheerleaders. Patrick says there are DVR's. Okay, dude, whathefuckever. A man may very well give up other women, but what kind of confirmed bachelor gives up bowl games for a dorky wedding with only 14 people attending? Seriously, have that nonsense after the 5th. Or did Patrick go to some lame school with a crappy football team? That must be it. oh, and GO GATERS, if you don't mind. Rip their lungs out, 'kay? Patrick sincerely says he wants Shawn-D there, and he agrees.
Emma's Closet: Anna and Robert watch Emma sleep, as you do when a baby is in the room. Robert tells her to quit look at him with a sappy face. Robin says they can't help being sappy since he was dying and now he's healthy. Anna says seeing him with Emma was a lovely moment. Robert asks Robin if she wants him here or not. She says of course she does, but she doesn't want him to risk his life over it. Robert promises he's in great shape, and his doctor's signed off on it. Robin says she'd rather take his word. Anna moans at how many times she's been there, done that. heh. then they stand and watch Emma fidget and coo. Robert says he sees a lot of Robin and Anna. Robin says she sees a lot of Patrick. Anna says she is the spitting image of Robin. Robin and Anna talk a bit about how Robert didn't even know Robin as a baby. Then they tease each other for being grandparents, while Robin beams at her two parents who were totally dead to the point she spoke to their ghosts when she was diagnosed with HIV, but who are now living and breathing, or at least, remarkably charming zombies. Regardless, it must feel nice to have them around.
Alleydocks: Sascha and Jason meet. Sascha recaps how many times Sam has been in her grasp. She also says Sam fell and now they get to have this nice little talk, and she sounds so much like Heidi Klum Seal saying "we are going to have a little chat" before the judging, that I get confused about what show I'm watching. Jason impatiently asks what her point is.
Christmas Fantasy: sarly sobs over a Super heart breaking memory that I can't imagine ever happened of Carly, Sonny, Chucky and Monty having a merry, cheerful, family moment, hanging stockings. In the present she looks at the bare mantel, paralized by whether or not you hang your son's stocking who lives at a Whole Foods. Is it more heart breaking to see it sitting there, or just to have Monty's? She holds her face in her hands. And yeah, dum dum, this is why I don't get why you chose the cretin who got your son shot over the man who wanted to move heaven and earth to keep your kids safe?
Commercials
Corinthaus: Carly calls Sonny and says she needs to see him in person. Claud asks where he's going, but he dismissively tells her not to wait up. I guess Sonny gave up on the whole "winning Claud over" bit?
Emma's Closet: Robin jokes that she went into labor in the first ceremony, so Robert could be here for the 2nd one. Robert asks what she needs for the wedding, but Robin says Maxie has it all under control. robert asks how Patrick is handling all this. Robin says he's the best, and emma likes him more than her (though she says it like she's kidding.) Patrick shows up, surprised to see Robert. Robert teases he couldn't stay away b/c he has to give the FIL/SIL chat. My dad and his brothers give The Real Man test to all the grooms in the family. None of the women ever know what it is. I have my guesses. I know you have to be really, really drunk to administer it!
Alleydocks: Sascha tells Jason that he's hurt The Danger, and they are wondering whether they can stay in this random town that can't possibly be all that lucrative for one mob syndicate, much less 8, and they are considering leaving town.
Sink Hole: Alexis appears to Sam and sternly tells her that she can't go to sleep, or she'll freeze to death. Sam mumbles that Alexis is just in her mind. Alexis says she's telling her what she already knows. "You can save yourself, but you have to get up and keep moving." Sam snuggles back against the rock.
Corinthaus: Claud goes back to listening to Jerry ramble endlessly about his stupid game and the stupid marriage. He goes on and on until even Claud yells "oh, get to the point, you psycho!" Also, was it St. Patrick's Day when Jerry recorded this? That's the only excuse for the ugly green jacket and the sickly green tint. Jerry gives a stupid clue about the window of her soul. So, apparently the GH writers moonlight as Survivor treemail writers? I hope they all start rhyming, and that Claud has to do a bunch of stupid puzzles!
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Anna and Robert leave to run an errand. I think it's so dumb when they don't give extra padding to a new mom on these shows. Or couldn't they at least dress Robin in something other than tight jeans a few weeks after she gives birth? Robin and Robert talk about the first day they met and how it was love at first sight. Robin asks how Robert really is, and at first seems to be asking doctorly questions, but then she asks him if he can walk her down the aisle.
Sink Hole: Alexis sternly but lovingly tells her she has to stay awake. Sam says now she knows she's dreaming b/c Alexis doesn't like being her mother. Alexis says maybe that's not true, and that's why Sam is imagining her. Sam weepily says she wants her mother to save her. Alexis regretfully says her mother can't save her, but Sam can save herself. Then she sternly repeats that Sam has to get up and start moving. Sam takes a deep breath and struggles to stand.
Alleydocks: Jason is on the phone and tells Bernie to send something now. Sascha checks her phone and is pleased with the results. Sascha says she's happy to leave this place and is glad that Jason will beat those sons of bitches (which, is quickly becoming my favorite curse word) Suddenly we hear a silencer shot, and Sascha is shot in the back. Jason catches her and desperately says he gave her what she wanted, so she has to tell him where Sam is. Well, jason, see, sometimes when people are shot they DIE. They don't always have art studio supplies at the ready.
Carly's House: Sonny shows up and asks what was so important. Monty shows up smilingly and wishes his dad a Merry Christmas. Sonny, for all his evil and cynicism and self-loathing, can't wipe the giant smile off his face.
The end
Corinthaus: Claud is still listening to Jerry's annoying voice. Sonny walks in and asks what she's hiding.
Sink Hole: Sascha and Jason are still on the phone talking about Sam. Sascha has hilariously been watching Sam try to Mario Brothers her way out of this hole this entire time and warns that if Jason doesn't find her soon, she won't be around to find.
Credits.
Emma's Closet: Anna shows up to say she got all the stuff in London that Robin wanted. Oh, so does that explain where she's been. Anna hears someone walk in, and it turns out to be Robert! Anna asks if his oncologist knows he's here. robert says he only has cancer in a parallel universe that has nothing to do with GH. Or really, he just smiles mysteriously.
Carly's House: Carly explains that Jax will be with Lady Jane b/c she needs her son like Carly needs Monty. Jax decides to let the kid open his gift now. I hope it's a Z-box like on OLTL! Oh, it's just a generic "video game system" I suppose they also use cotton swabs instead of Q-tips and drink carbonated beverages instead of Pepsi?
Corinthaus: Sonny finally notices the cheerfully decorated tree and angrily asks what she's done. Well, Sonny, she's done what she already emphatically said she'd do.
Jason's Penthouse: Sascha demands that Jason meet him on the pier, or Sam dies. Jason tells Spinelli where he's going (Ahem, SAM, see how smart adventure junkies do it? they have a buddy they tell stuff to. Sam needs a Starsky) Spinelli objects and says if Jason gets killed then the world is doomed. He's less dramatic, but we all know it's true. It'd be like in Superman II when Superman decided to become Clark Kent full time so he could bang Lois, and then those evil phantom dudes took over the White House. Gawd, I love that movie!
Commercials
Carly's House: Monty plays with his video game console. Oh, he is pretty young. I guess it should be more Leapfrog than Zombie Killers. The box looks like it holds fun, educational delight for a little kid. Carly ruins Monty's fun and tells him to go upstairs and put on the special zen music earphones she bought him so he won't hear Mommy and _______ fighting all the time. Carly thanks Jax for being a good stepdad. Jax remembers how happy they were last year, and she wonders how they got here. (when were they happy? doesn't he always go surfing this time of year and abandon her or Skye or Brenduh?)
Corinthaus: Claud says she knows he's mad at the universe for Chucky's coma. He angrily (but rightly) says it wasn't God or the universe that got Chucky shot "it was MEEEEE!" and then he throws something and breaks it. Aw, Sonny DOES love Claudia! He only breaks crystal when it's true love.
GH: Patrick and Shawn Douglas bicker a little bit about Shawn Douglas' gift to Emma. Patrick invites Shawn to his wedding the day after Christmas. he also asks him to be his best man. Shawn Douglas is quite flummoxed.
Emma's Closet: Robert and Anna have tea. He assures her he's in remission, but she's going to check up at the clinic to make sure. He says she's welcome to call them b/c he's being honest. Then they bicker about being able to kick each other's booties. Robin comes home and jubilantly asks them what they are doing. Anna guiltily says they are fighting. Robert says they are playing catch up, and then he pats her fanny in such a way that makes her wiggly.
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Robin cuddles Emma. I'm so sure that Robert and Anna could just stand there and not grab that cutie baby from her. I fully plan on handing my kid off before my mom even says hello. Robert holds her and gives her a bottle. She gives out a few squeels. Robin is doing a good job of pretending like she doesn't hate her baby, so Emma relaxes. Robert sweetly says that Emma is proof he did something right in this world. He tells her he was in the hospital knocking on heaven's door, then he jokes it was probably the other place, but he knew there was something he needed to do. He kisses her forehead when she coos and says "you, my darling, were definitely worth the fight." aw!
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli wonders why Jason is going to endanger himself. Jason grumpily says Sam saved Jakeson, so what does Spinelli want him to do? Well, for starters, you can only save people who don't purposefully put themselves in danger. Love ya, Sam, but COME ON!
Sink Hole: Sam writhes in pain, her face wet with tears, and her leg clearly broken or otherwise terribly injured. She tries to get back up, but she falls down in agony.
Carly's House: Carly cries about missing Chucky. Monty runs downstairs with a picture he made of Lady Jane. Jax says he's a great artist. Monty says "I miss you." and hugs Jax and causes Carly to sob. Gee, Carlidiot, maybe you should thought of THIS MOMENT when you traded in your marriage to save that jerkweed mobster, Sonny. You won't let Sonny see Monty, so why would you give up the one man you do think is worthy of your demon spawn?
Corinthaus: Sonny is in rare form for this scene. Claud says Sonny didn't put Chucky in a coma b/c he was the intended target. Sonny says he should have had guards (yes, 24/7) He says he should have reacted differently when he saw the rifle (you mean diving for your lover instead of your child? right again!) Sonny strikes at the air with his fist and talks about the people who continue to hurt people. He says Devlin crossed the line when he tried to kill him in front of his child. This jerkmonster doesn't even see it as Devlin's main sin was firing when a kid was present. Sonny is the worst. Claud apologizes for making Christmas worse for him. Sonny says the only gift he wants is to find out if the man who shot his son had an accomplice. claud holds back tears and says Devlin paid with his life. Sonny whispers, in what I believe is supposed to be a threatening way "it's not enough"
Commercials
Nurse's Station: Patrick finds Shawn Douglas and asks if he is going to be his best man. Shawn-D asks about Coleman,a nd Patrick says he'll understand. Shawn-D says he had plans with football and big screen and cheerleaders. Patrick says there are DVR's. Okay, dude, whathefuckever. A man may very well give up other women, but what kind of confirmed bachelor gives up bowl games for a dorky wedding with only 14 people attending? Seriously, have that nonsense after the 5th. Or did Patrick go to some lame school with a crappy football team? That must be it. oh, and GO GATERS, if you don't mind. Rip their lungs out, 'kay? Patrick sincerely says he wants Shawn-D there, and he agrees.
Emma's Closet: Anna and Robert watch Emma sleep, as you do when a baby is in the room. Robert tells her to quit look at him with a sappy face. Robin says they can't help being sappy since he was dying and now he's healthy. Anna says seeing him with Emma was a lovely moment. Robert asks Robin if she wants him here or not. She says of course she does, but she doesn't want him to risk his life over it. Robert promises he's in great shape, and his doctor's signed off on it. Robin says she'd rather take his word. Anna moans at how many times she's been there, done that. heh. then they stand and watch Emma fidget and coo. Robert says he sees a lot of Robin and Anna. Robin says she sees a lot of Patrick. Anna says she is the spitting image of Robin. Robin and Anna talk a bit about how Robert didn't even know Robin as a baby. Then they tease each other for being grandparents, while Robin beams at her two parents who were totally dead to the point she spoke to their ghosts when she was diagnosed with HIV, but who are now living and breathing, or at least, remarkably charming zombies. Regardless, it must feel nice to have them around.
Alleydocks: Sascha and Jason meet. Sascha recaps how many times Sam has been in her grasp. She also says Sam fell and now they get to have this nice little talk, and she sounds so much like Heidi Klum Seal saying "we are going to have a little chat" before the judging, that I get confused about what show I'm watching. Jason impatiently asks what her point is.
Christmas Fantasy: sarly sobs over a Super heart breaking memory that I can't imagine ever happened of Carly, Sonny, Chucky and Monty having a merry, cheerful, family moment, hanging stockings. In the present she looks at the bare mantel, paralized by whether or not you hang your son's stocking who lives at a Whole Foods. Is it more heart breaking to see it sitting there, or just to have Monty's? She holds her face in her hands. And yeah, dum dum, this is why I don't get why you chose the cretin who got your son shot over the man who wanted to move heaven and earth to keep your kids safe?
Commercials
Corinthaus: Carly calls Sonny and says she needs to see him in person. Claud asks where he's going, but he dismissively tells her not to wait up. I guess Sonny gave up on the whole "winning Claud over" bit?
Emma's Closet: Robin jokes that she went into labor in the first ceremony, so Robert could be here for the 2nd one. Robert asks what she needs for the wedding, but Robin says Maxie has it all under control. robert asks how Patrick is handling all this. Robin says he's the best, and emma likes him more than her (though she says it like she's kidding.) Patrick shows up, surprised to see Robert. Robert teases he couldn't stay away b/c he has to give the FIL/SIL chat. My dad and his brothers give The Real Man test to all the grooms in the family. None of the women ever know what it is. I have my guesses. I know you have to be really, really drunk to administer it!
Alleydocks: Sascha tells Jason that he's hurt The Danger, and they are wondering whether they can stay in this random town that can't possibly be all that lucrative for one mob syndicate, much less 8, and they are considering leaving town.
Sink Hole: Alexis appears to Sam and sternly tells her that she can't go to sleep, or she'll freeze to death. Sam mumbles that Alexis is just in her mind. Alexis says she's telling her what she already knows. "You can save yourself, but you have to get up and keep moving." Sam snuggles back against the rock.
Corinthaus: Claud goes back to listening to Jerry ramble endlessly about his stupid game and the stupid marriage. He goes on and on until even Claud yells "oh, get to the point, you psycho!" Also, was it St. Patrick's Day when Jerry recorded this? That's the only excuse for the ugly green jacket and the sickly green tint. Jerry gives a stupid clue about the window of her soul. So, apparently the GH writers moonlight as Survivor treemail writers? I hope they all start rhyming, and that Claud has to do a bunch of stupid puzzles!
Commercials
Emma's Closet: Anna and Robert leave to run an errand. I think it's so dumb when they don't give extra padding to a new mom on these shows. Or couldn't they at least dress Robin in something other than tight jeans a few weeks after she gives birth? Robin and Robert talk about the first day they met and how it was love at first sight. Robin asks how Robert really is, and at first seems to be asking doctorly questions, but then she asks him if he can walk her down the aisle.
Sink Hole: Alexis sternly but lovingly tells her she has to stay awake. Sam says now she knows she's dreaming b/c Alexis doesn't like being her mother. Alexis says maybe that's not true, and that's why Sam is imagining her. Sam weepily says she wants her mother to save her. Alexis regretfully says her mother can't save her, but Sam can save herself. Then she sternly repeats that Sam has to get up and start moving. Sam takes a deep breath and struggles to stand.
Alleydocks: Jason is on the phone and tells Bernie to send something now. Sascha checks her phone and is pleased with the results. Sascha says she's happy to leave this place and is glad that Jason will beat those sons of bitches (which, is quickly becoming my favorite curse word) Suddenly we hear a silencer shot, and Sascha is shot in the back. Jason catches her and desperately says he gave her what she wanted, so she has to tell him where Sam is. Well, jason, see, sometimes when people are shot they DIE. They don't always have art studio supplies at the ready.
Carly's House: Sonny shows up and asks what was so important. Monty shows up smilingly and wishes his dad a Merry Christmas. Sonny, for all his evil and cynicism and self-loathing, can't wipe the giant smile off his face.
The end
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