Wedding: Robin rambles endlessly for her vows. They are very sweet, but she's really just recapping their love affair. I would be so bored at a wedding where someone did this. If she mentions a couch, I'm outta here. She promises to love him more than she did yesterday and less than she will tomorrow, and for the rest of her life.
Corinthaus: Jason asks why they have to do this every time. Jason isn't changing his business for Sonny. Sonny says Wheels is not in charge. Jason says Sonny can't trust Wheels....or Trevor or Ric. The reason I love Sonny and Jason fighting is that they can't both be right if they are different sides. It cracks me up that Jason gets the default "always right" setting, and that Sonny is an idiot. The bad news is that we all know that obviously Sonny will one day learn that Wheels shot Kate (even though Jason figured it out 10 years before it happened), and then he'll be all glib and full of himself, when really he should be embarassed that it took so long.
Metrocourt: Carly and Jax puke about their relationship.
Wedding: Patrick has found the most profound experience of his life by loving robin and Emma, and he promises to give back to her all she's given him 10 times over. He promises to love her and Emma for as long s they both live. Robin smiles tearfully up at him.
Commercials
Corinthaus: Sonny says it's a....it's a....it's amaaaazing how much you've changed. Jason says Sonny gave him the organization, and thus it's his job to run it as he sees fit. Sonny says it's a...it's amaaaazing how you justify everything. Oh, dear, now I gotta bust out the pot and the kettle again. Sonny makes a phone call. (he dials like Spinelli types, by the way, so I'm sure some poor schlub in Australia is all "G'day, Mate!") Sonny tells someone to send a shipment to Pier 17. Piano Guy plays a maudlin tune with Violin Guy. Jason says "you would challenge me like that? Today of all days. Don't you even remember?"
Wedding: Priest asks for the rings, and Shawn Douglas decides that it's hilarious to make Patrick panic and pretend to have lost the rings. Har dee effing har, oh, whoops, did I just punch your lights out, Shawn? They exchange rings. As on all soap weddings, they somehow managed to memorize the vows that go with the rings and know exactly when to say them. Then they are officially married, and they kiss! Everyone claps! I guess her water didn't break for the delivery of Emma's twin. Maybe later. They walk down the aisle to start their life together. $50 says she's chastising him about something stupid within 4 hours.
Commercials
Metrocourt Reception: Anna gets a bit teary eyed in a happy way as she and Robert say they must have done something right in their lives. Maxie remains very much in need of a valium and complains that Jason couldn't cancel the crime wave for one day and come to the wedding, and that Liz isn't there either. Mac randomly knows that Liz went out of town with her kids. Robin and Patrick show up to applause.
Sam's Apartment: jax stops by to talk about Jerry.
Corinthaus: Sonny stuttermopes that he remembers Chucky. He says he doesn't need Jason to remind him of the guilt he carries every day of his life. Well, you need SOMEONE to remind you, ding dong. Jason mutters "this is me not giving an inch" or something like that, but he says out of respect for Chucky, he won't stop The Shipment today. He says if it happens again, he will be prepared to stop The Shipment and do what he needs to do. Jason pulls out of Sonny's back door. Ok. That was a bit much, sorry.
Metrocourt: Robin does that cute thing where she starts trying on the words "my husband" for the first time. Gawd, the reason for honeymoons is so the poor friends and family of the newlyweds don't have to watch them relish saying "Husband, would you hand me my shoes?" "Why, yes, wife, I'd be happy to." Robin and Patrick share their first dance. There doesn't seem to be music playing, though.
Commercials
Wedding Reception: Robin and Patrick end their dance to what sounds like the most dreadful pop song ever. Was Rie Sinclair on strike or something? Robin and Anna dance while Robert and Robin dance. Anna tells Patrick she's glad he found her daughter. Patrick promises to be good to her. Maxie fidgets a bit because Maxie apparently has a crack addiction today. Shawn Douglas asks her to dance. Shawn D asks about Spinelli, and she says he's her friend. He says Spin is kind of weird, and Maxie says if he's going to put Spinelli down, she's done dancing. Shawn doesn't apologize but he changes the subject. Spinelli, meanwhile, watches in great pain from the bar. Robin and Robert dance, and he gives her advice. he says that making a family requires a constant presence, so don't make the mistakes he and Anna made. Robin says she doesn't blame them, and she's responsible for her own happiness. She tells him that he and Anna are officially off the hook, and they did a good job. Robert makes a cute "yay" noise and smiles gigantically at her.
Sam's Apartment: Sam is whispering something to Jax. I think it's about the drugs and the seductispying and such. Jax can't help but to believe Jerry managed to pull it off and make it look like he died. Sam sympathetically says she really doesn't think so because of where Jerry was when the boat exploded. Will someone wipe the ketchup off of Kelly Monaco's face, please? Jax says he's sorry for everything Sam went through. She insists she put herself in danger and chose the path. Jax says he's sorry just the same. Sam tells Jax that, for what it's worth, Jerry only ever spoke of Jax with love. He thanks her and leaves.
Wedding Reception: Robert watches Anna and Luke dance. Robin sits with Mac and says she hopes he didn't feel upstaged with Robert walking her down the aisle. He kindly laughs and says he feels nothing but happiness and sees nothing but all the milestones he got to be a part of in her life, and he's grateful he got to live through it all with her. sniff. She says she loves him so much, and then she cuts in on Patrick and Maxie dancing. Again with the "Hello, Husband." "Hello, Wife" She says she doesn't think she'll ever get used to it. I have to admit, I still get giggly about it, so she may be right. Robert wants to make a speech.
Commercials
Wedding Reception: Robert and Anna make loving toasts to the marriage.
Corinthaus: Sonny sits around moping.
Wedding Reception: Edward begs Luke to win Tracy back, so she'll quit making them all miserable. he says get something diamond-y and make them all believe it.
Robin and Patrick start to cut the cake, and Robert and Anna remember back to wee, adorable Robin and telling her she's a love child. The hell? Why would they say that to her. Also, Anna's hair is eighties-rific. No, it's eighties in TEXAS-rific. Robin has a squeaky little voice and tells them to just assure her they love her forever. Mr. Mad groans that it's sooo awful. Robert and Anna promise, and Robin says she fowgives them and tells them not to evew do that again. They giggle. Robert asks Anna in the present if she remembers the night they told Robin she was their daughter. Anna says "oh my God, I was just thinking that." Mr. Mad giggles and asks "what does that even mean, the night we told you you were our daughter?" I tell him it's a long story. Robin and Patrick eat cake.
Commercials
Whole Foods: Sonny has stopped by to see Chucky on his birthday, and Carly allows it. Oh, it's actually Dylan Cash. Carly sits and holds Chucky's hand and remembers once buying him every toy she could find, but Sonny trumped her by buying an ATV. She says he loves Sonny so much, and it's well deserved. Oh, I'm so totally over these idiots commending each other on being good parents WHEN THEY ARE IN A WHOLE FOODS to visit their kid. They both cry and Sonny says he's just so sorry. She says he doesn't have to keep saying that. I agree. But he COULD quit killing people and doing stuff that makes other people want to kill him and his loved ones. Carly idiotically says they make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes blow back on the people we care about, and there is nothing we can do. That is insane, that line of thinking. Or, it's at the very least the way an addict thinks. They sit around and forgive each other and themselves and then walk out the door to immediately wreak more havoc and violence. Shut up, Sonny's tears. gawd.
Sam's Apartment: Jason shows up b/c Sam beckoned him. She says Agent Raynor is still investigating the case, but she thought it was closed. Jason says that Raynor offered him immunity for rolling over on Sonny, but he turned him down. Sam says of course he did. She says that Raynor was asking about Spinelli. This bothers Jason, and he says as much. Mr. Mad does a good Jason impression and growls "It bothers me too."
Wedding Reception: Oh, dears. Spinelli fantasizes to dancing with Maxie while singing that song about loving the way you hold your knife, which is the most oddly romantic line I can think off, honestly. To love someone so much that the way they cut their food makes you feel wiggly? That's good stuff! They dance adorably. Bradford Anderson's voice is very nice, but it's a bit pageanty. I am surprised Mr. Mad is just letting this slide, until I realize he hasn't looked up. When he does, he guffaws and says "Oh, I appreciate this so much more now that I realize it's that weird little dude." Maxie jolts Spinelli out of his fantasy.
The End
Showing posts with label The Danger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Danger. Show all posts
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
GH Recap 12/15: Come and Knock On My Door
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Bleck, I forgot that Maxie thought she was overhearing Johnny and Looloo have way to loud sex, but they were really moving furniture.
Alleydocks: Sascha yells at some Russians about a shipment. Because after Russians set several buildings and ships on fire, I'm so sure that they would still be able to do business as usual. Sam, idiotically, sneaks up to hide behind some wooden crates.
Jason's Apartment: Jason and Spinelli talk about The Danger. Meanwhile, someone copies files from Spinelli's laptop. they are very bad hackers, however, because a giant, animated window pops up that clearly states "copying files". Luckily for the inept hacker, Spinelli is not looking, and is instead trying to talk Jason into teaming up with Sonny again.
Corinthaus: Claud pulls away from Sonny's kiss and says she thought he hated her and asks what changed. He non answers by saying "what do you think."
Credits
Alleydocks: Sascha continues to ramble about The Danger, but then Natasha shows up! Dressed in black and zippy necklaces. She is so over the Russians and The Danger, and it's about time. She wants Sascha to either answer her questions now, or prepare to be subpoena'd. Sascha asks on what grounds, and Natasha points out that the stupid Russians have blown up half the town at this point, so this is a dumb question.
Sam's Apartment Lucky shows up with a box. It looks like the sort of box you'd put pastries in. He realizes Sam isn't home, and poutily snots "so much for dinner." Well, since your idea of "dinner" is a big cake, Lucky, it's no wonder Sam isn't there. Yo don't maintain a body like that by eating sheet cake for dinner, you dimwit.
Casa de 3's a crowd: Even Maxie can't save how stupid and xylophone-y this scene is.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason angrily tells Spinelli that Sonny is the reason that Jason's family and businesses have been targeted. He gruffly says he doesn't think Sonny thought Jakeson would be kidnapped when he shot Krapov, but he should have. About dang time someone noticed Sonny's culpability in all this!
Corinthaus: Sonny and Claud boringingly discuss this kiss. She doesn't know if he's trying to strengthen his ties to the Z's by strengthening their marriage. Or maybe he's not feeling as compelled to go back to Kate as he thought he would. Sonny says she's reading more into the kiss than she should. Is this how he's planning on seducing her? By insulting her? Claud also wants to discuss The Danger as well. She thinks on the one hand, he wants the Z's to help him with The Russians, but on the other hand, they know Jason is vulnerable, and so does Sonny, so he wants to make a move against Jason. Sonny mumbleasks why he'd do that to his oldest friend. Claud twirls her hair and says no one believes Sonny and Jason are friends anymore, including Sonny and Jason. heh.
Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud taunts Sonny a bit that Sonny gave Jason the Biz, but Jason wouldn't give it back. Sonny finally tells her that Jason and Carly plotted to take his sons away from him. You know who helped with that, Sonny? You did by not hiring guards to protect your kids. Also, Claud helped a lot by hiring the hitman who shot your son!
Haunted Star: Lucky mopes over to the HS to talk to his dad and share pastries with him. Does Lucky have an eating disorder?
Alleydocks: Sascha says her business associate was murdered. Alexis explains that a Desolate Mountain Bar blew up with a kid inside, but Sascha knew that. Sascha says she didn't know it at the time, and that the kid's mother accosted her at the hospital. Alexis asks if the name Jakeson Spencer means nothing to her. Alexis says she knows Sascha is not from this country, but it's frowned upon to threaten the district attorney. Sascha says she thinks Natasha is harassing her to deflect attention from her lover who has disappeared, and her daughter, who unfortunately has not. sam, who has been eaveslurking behind some crates, makes a rotten egg face at this.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason explains this all started 10 months ago when Chucky was put into a coma, and Sonny hasn't been thinking right since. Jason says he tried to explain to Sonny that people like them don't get to be happy, but he stupidly started making plans to be just that with Liz. He says Sonny is still lying, and I think he means to himself. Jason says he doesn't know if Sonny is planning a move against him. A knock at the door reveals Special Agent Raynor. Spinelli dutifully leaves, and Jason asks if he needs his attorney. SA Raynor says he doesn't, " what I have to say may save your life." Psst, Special Agent Raynor, just so's you know, no matter what you say or don't say or do or don't do, Jason is going to die an old man. He's Superjase! It should have been in your report.
Commercials
Alleydocks: Sascha says Natasha's personal life is common knowledge. Well, it is for creepy bad guys who are stalking her, Sascha. Natasha tells Sascha to get her guards to back off. Sascha calls Sam a drug smuggling slut. Natasha gets in Sascha's face and repeats that Sas needs to call of her guards, or she'll send the text giving the police Sascha's location. Sam smiles happily at her badass of a mom.
Haunted Star: Lucky whines to Lucky that his girlfriend has bigger balls than him. Luke eats pastries and says "Cowboy, it's time you learn that just b/c you love someone, doesn't mean you can make a life with them."
Corinthaus: Sonny gives lip service to his guilt about Chucky. He says he'll never see his kids again without guards around. Yes, MOBSTER, that is how it's done. Claud says maybe he can get joint custody. Sonny says he signed over his parental rights to Carly. Claud is surprised that jason sided with Carly. Why are people ever confused about this? Sonny is the quote "biggest mobster on the easter seaboard" unquote, and he took his son to a place where his business is done, and he didn't have any guards available. Because he's INSANE. I guess maybe Claud is playing Sonny and pretending to think he was wronged by Carly and Jason. She says he lost Jason and Carly, and it didn't work with Kate, so now all he's got left are the Z's. Max announces Wheels. Sonny angrily asks if he ever can just call. Wheels rudely dismisses Claud. Sonny says Wheels can leave, and he'll discuss things with his wife. Wheels relents, and Claud stays. Sonny sits to talk about Jason and The Danger. Sonny says Jason doesn't have the resources to fight him and the Russians at the same time.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor tells Jason all about his life as Mullet Boy, and the car accident, and the being taken advantage of by a mobster for his brain damage. Jason asks if Raynor is giving him a way out of prosecution due to mental incompetence. Raynor says that this life Jason has chosen is going to end in prison or death. The feds want to offer Jason immunity from prosecution. Jason asks what he has to give in return. It's very telling that he's at least open enough to ask that question.
Commercials
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Strings of Stupidity splink while Maxie insists they make a list of rules. Looloo agrees that she'd never want to wear Maxie's clothes. This becomes Rule #1. Rule #2 is never eat Maxie's food, even if it's just left overs and even if Looloo pays her back. Rule #3 is if Johnny lives here, he pays a third of the rent. Idiot Looloo stares in surprise at this. Yep, I can peg a mooch, loser tenant from a mile away! Even fictitious ones.
Haunted Star: Luke says that Lucky likes stability and order and the old Spencer House that Laura also loved. Luke asks if Sam likes that old house. Lucky says Sam likes her hot tub (hi, writers!) and in fact they spend most of their time at her apartment. Luke is basically saying that Lucky should date Tracy, and he himself should date Sam. Not in so many words b/c it would be icky, but that Lucky is as boring as an old rug, and Sam wants to buy rugs in Morocco and use them to smuggle herself into a mobster's den.
Alleydocks: Natasha tells Sascha that she better start cooperating or be ready to go to prison. She holds up her phone like it's attached to a detonator and politely shoves her way past Sascha's gaurds. Sascha stares out at the water and somehow doesn't see Sam staring at her. Poor Sascha may be going blind and should have her complete lack of peripheral vision checked out!
Corinthaus: Sonny gets a call, leaving Claud and Wheels alone to talk. Claud angrily says she doesn't know what her father's plan is yet, but it seems to be working for him so far. Wheels giggles that she's right.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor wants info to build a case against Sonny and Wheels. Jason says he's barely dealt with Wheels, and the Feds should know he doesn't talk to Sonny anymore. Raynor says Sonny and Wheels have done bad guy stuff, and Jason gets a blank slate if he gives info. Raynor further says that if Jason stays a mobster, they will basically look the other way. Raynor says that Jason made a bad choice when he didn't know better, due to the brain damage, so he has the chance to make good on that. He asks what Jason really owes Sonny anyway. In case the audience is actually as stupid as the writers clearly think they are, Jason clarifies "so you're asking me to give up Sonny to save myself?" Yes, Jason. He has not been remotely subtle. Gawd.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Luke and Natasha! Hang out and drink! Yay! I hope they accidentally kill someone again tonight! He tells her that he thinks it's clear he chose Tracy b/c he's here and Tracy's here and Laura is in Paris. Alexis says that Tracy wants to know that he loves Tracy the most and would choose her. Luke asks how she knows that, and she says she watches Oprah. Alexis says she has never been the love of anyone's life, and in fact has never kissed a boy where it didn't turn into a disaster. Luke says he senses this conversation has turned in a Jerry Jax-themed one.
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Looloo says Johnny is a guest. Maxie asks if Johnny is going to be using the refrigerator, the bathroom and the living room. He says yes to all three, and Maxie says that settles it, he's paying rent. Johnny says he has no problem paying rent until he finds aplace. Looloo idiotically says that Maxie is just jealous b/c she thought she heard them having sex. Shut up, Looloo. Johnny offers to take everyone out for Chinese. Probably because, like me, ever since Maxie mentioned leftover Chinese food, he's been craving it. Maxie wants to stay home and pout and stew over her list of rules.
Corinthaus: Wheels leaves. Claud thanks Sonny for not kicking her out. He says he likes to annoy Wheels, and also doesn't mind her being around. He says they are on the same side. Claud says this seems too easy, adn that when something seems too good to be true, it is. and yet, dum dums like Claud continue to ignore that instinct on a daily basis in this town.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Alexis explains to Luke that they played each other, and if he hadn't died, she'd have had no problem turning him and the evidence over. Luke nervously asks if this is just true for Jerry, or other criminals she knows. She asks if he's talking about the time he tried to kill her step mother. Luke quickly corrects saying "WE!" and Alexis says that the "we" part is what negates her ability to prosecute him. He relaxes at this news. Alexis is not the crappy sort of friend that most people are in this town, and lets the conversation turn back to Luke's needs and explains the fact that Luke still loves Laura has to be a real kick in the teeth to Tracy.
Corinthaus: Sonny says he didn't plan on treating Claud miserably. He says he's not proud of the way he treated her in the past, but he had a lot going on, and he took it out on her. Claud admits she was hardly Little Miss Sunshine. Show, please don't mention the titles of far superior and more entertaining movies b/c it just makes me hyper aware of how crappy this show can be. Milo interrupts to deliver the mail. Do Max and Milo really just hang out in the foyer? It must be so cold in there! Claud hops up to look through her magazines. He asks what they can do to make the marriage work for both of them.
Casa de 3s a crowd: Looloo and Johnny come home with Chinese take out. They can hear Maxie giggling and romping. Looloo thinks Maxie is having sex with Spinelli to prove a point. She knows Spinelli is in love with Maxie and thinks this is mean. Spinelli enters at this moment with a Tiffany blue box. That is so nice. Looloo does some quick math and wonders who is in Maxie's room. We hear Maxie moaning "don't stop! don't stop!"
Sam's Apartment: Lucky comes back to Sam's and leaves a message, poutily saying "I guess you decided to skip dinner. Next time just give me a call." and while Lucky is so whiny, Sam really was a jerk not to text him that she was not going to meet him.
Alleydocks: Lucky got voicemail b/c Sam was calling Jason at this exact moment. She whispers to herself as the phone ring, begging Jason to pick up. (we see Jason's phone ringing at his penthouse, no one around to answer it) Sam starts to leave, but realizes The Russian Goons have her surrounded. Oh, maybe Sascha's peripheral vision isn't so bad afterall.
the end
The "this week" promo is about Sonny and Claud. Annoucer: his wife's ambition put his son in a coma. (we see shots of Claud and Sonny and Little Chucky all snuggled in at Whole Foods). Announcer: This week the truth could get her killed. (turns out Jerry made a DVD that details Claud's part in hiring the shooter. Claud gets the DVD and has to keep is secret).
Sonny angrily asks what she's done. (but it seems more like he's asking about Christmas decorations than anything The Danger related)
Alleydocks: Sascha yells at some Russians about a shipment. Because after Russians set several buildings and ships on fire, I'm so sure that they would still be able to do business as usual. Sam, idiotically, sneaks up to hide behind some wooden crates.
Jason's Apartment: Jason and Spinelli talk about The Danger. Meanwhile, someone copies files from Spinelli's laptop. they are very bad hackers, however, because a giant, animated window pops up that clearly states "copying files". Luckily for the inept hacker, Spinelli is not looking, and is instead trying to talk Jason into teaming up with Sonny again.
Corinthaus: Claud pulls away from Sonny's kiss and says she thought he hated her and asks what changed. He non answers by saying "what do you think."
Credits
Alleydocks: Sascha continues to ramble about The Danger, but then Natasha shows up! Dressed in black and zippy necklaces. She is so over the Russians and The Danger, and it's about time. She wants Sascha to either answer her questions now, or prepare to be subpoena'd. Sascha asks on what grounds, and Natasha points out that the stupid Russians have blown up half the town at this point, so this is a dumb question.
Sam's Apartment Lucky shows up with a box. It looks like the sort of box you'd put pastries in. He realizes Sam isn't home, and poutily snots "so much for dinner." Well, since your idea of "dinner" is a big cake, Lucky, it's no wonder Sam isn't there. Yo don't maintain a body like that by eating sheet cake for dinner, you dimwit.
Casa de 3's a crowd: Even Maxie can't save how stupid and xylophone-y this scene is.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason angrily tells Spinelli that Sonny is the reason that Jason's family and businesses have been targeted. He gruffly says he doesn't think Sonny thought Jakeson would be kidnapped when he shot Krapov, but he should have. About dang time someone noticed Sonny's culpability in all this!
Corinthaus: Sonny and Claud boringingly discuss this kiss. She doesn't know if he's trying to strengthen his ties to the Z's by strengthening their marriage. Or maybe he's not feeling as compelled to go back to Kate as he thought he would. Sonny says she's reading more into the kiss than she should. Is this how he's planning on seducing her? By insulting her? Claud also wants to discuss The Danger as well. She thinks on the one hand, he wants the Z's to help him with The Russians, but on the other hand, they know Jason is vulnerable, and so does Sonny, so he wants to make a move against Jason. Sonny mumbleasks why he'd do that to his oldest friend. Claud twirls her hair and says no one believes Sonny and Jason are friends anymore, including Sonny and Jason. heh.
Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud taunts Sonny a bit that Sonny gave Jason the Biz, but Jason wouldn't give it back. Sonny finally tells her that Jason and Carly plotted to take his sons away from him. You know who helped with that, Sonny? You did by not hiring guards to protect your kids. Also, Claud helped a lot by hiring the hitman who shot your son!
Haunted Star: Lucky mopes over to the HS to talk to his dad and share pastries with him. Does Lucky have an eating disorder?
Alleydocks: Sascha says her business associate was murdered. Alexis explains that a Desolate Mountain Bar blew up with a kid inside, but Sascha knew that. Sascha says she didn't know it at the time, and that the kid's mother accosted her at the hospital. Alexis asks if the name Jakeson Spencer means nothing to her. Alexis says she knows Sascha is not from this country, but it's frowned upon to threaten the district attorney. Sascha says she thinks Natasha is harassing her to deflect attention from her lover who has disappeared, and her daughter, who unfortunately has not. sam, who has been eaveslurking behind some crates, makes a rotten egg face at this.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason explains this all started 10 months ago when Chucky was put into a coma, and Sonny hasn't been thinking right since. Jason says he tried to explain to Sonny that people like them don't get to be happy, but he stupidly started making plans to be just that with Liz. He says Sonny is still lying, and I think he means to himself. Jason says he doesn't know if Sonny is planning a move against him. A knock at the door reveals Special Agent Raynor. Spinelli dutifully leaves, and Jason asks if he needs his attorney. SA Raynor says he doesn't, " what I have to say may save your life." Psst, Special Agent Raynor, just so's you know, no matter what you say or don't say or do or don't do, Jason is going to die an old man. He's Superjase! It should have been in your report.
Commercials
Alleydocks: Sascha says Natasha's personal life is common knowledge. Well, it is for creepy bad guys who are stalking her, Sascha. Natasha tells Sascha to get her guards to back off. Sascha calls Sam a drug smuggling slut. Natasha gets in Sascha's face and repeats that Sas needs to call of her guards, or she'll send the text giving the police Sascha's location. Sam smiles happily at her badass of a mom.
Haunted Star: Lucky whines to Lucky that his girlfriend has bigger balls than him. Luke eats pastries and says "Cowboy, it's time you learn that just b/c you love someone, doesn't mean you can make a life with them."
Corinthaus: Sonny gives lip service to his guilt about Chucky. He says he'll never see his kids again without guards around. Yes, MOBSTER, that is how it's done. Claud says maybe he can get joint custody. Sonny says he signed over his parental rights to Carly. Claud is surprised that jason sided with Carly. Why are people ever confused about this? Sonny is the quote "biggest mobster on the easter seaboard" unquote, and he took his son to a place where his business is done, and he didn't have any guards available. Because he's INSANE. I guess maybe Claud is playing Sonny and pretending to think he was wronged by Carly and Jason. She says he lost Jason and Carly, and it didn't work with Kate, so now all he's got left are the Z's. Max announces Wheels. Sonny angrily asks if he ever can just call. Wheels rudely dismisses Claud. Sonny says Wheels can leave, and he'll discuss things with his wife. Wheels relents, and Claud stays. Sonny sits to talk about Jason and The Danger. Sonny says Jason doesn't have the resources to fight him and the Russians at the same time.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor tells Jason all about his life as Mullet Boy, and the car accident, and the being taken advantage of by a mobster for his brain damage. Jason asks if Raynor is giving him a way out of prosecution due to mental incompetence. Raynor says that this life Jason has chosen is going to end in prison or death. The feds want to offer Jason immunity from prosecution. Jason asks what he has to give in return. It's very telling that he's at least open enough to ask that question.
Commercials
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Strings of Stupidity splink while Maxie insists they make a list of rules. Looloo agrees that she'd never want to wear Maxie's clothes. This becomes Rule #1. Rule #2 is never eat Maxie's food, even if it's just left overs and even if Looloo pays her back. Rule #3 is if Johnny lives here, he pays a third of the rent. Idiot Looloo stares in surprise at this. Yep, I can peg a mooch, loser tenant from a mile away! Even fictitious ones.
Haunted Star: Luke says that Lucky likes stability and order and the old Spencer House that Laura also loved. Luke asks if Sam likes that old house. Lucky says Sam likes her hot tub (hi, writers!) and in fact they spend most of their time at her apartment. Luke is basically saying that Lucky should date Tracy, and he himself should date Sam. Not in so many words b/c it would be icky, but that Lucky is as boring as an old rug, and Sam wants to buy rugs in Morocco and use them to smuggle herself into a mobster's den.
Alleydocks: Natasha tells Sascha that she better start cooperating or be ready to go to prison. She holds up her phone like it's attached to a detonator and politely shoves her way past Sascha's gaurds. Sascha stares out at the water and somehow doesn't see Sam staring at her. Poor Sascha may be going blind and should have her complete lack of peripheral vision checked out!
Corinthaus: Sonny gets a call, leaving Claud and Wheels alone to talk. Claud angrily says she doesn't know what her father's plan is yet, but it seems to be working for him so far. Wheels giggles that she's right.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor wants info to build a case against Sonny and Wheels. Jason says he's barely dealt with Wheels, and the Feds should know he doesn't talk to Sonny anymore. Raynor says Sonny and Wheels have done bad guy stuff, and Jason gets a blank slate if he gives info. Raynor further says that if Jason stays a mobster, they will basically look the other way. Raynor says that Jason made a bad choice when he didn't know better, due to the brain damage, so he has the chance to make good on that. He asks what Jason really owes Sonny anyway. In case the audience is actually as stupid as the writers clearly think they are, Jason clarifies "so you're asking me to give up Sonny to save myself?" Yes, Jason. He has not been remotely subtle. Gawd.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Luke and Natasha! Hang out and drink! Yay! I hope they accidentally kill someone again tonight! He tells her that he thinks it's clear he chose Tracy b/c he's here and Tracy's here and Laura is in Paris. Alexis says that Tracy wants to know that he loves Tracy the most and would choose her. Luke asks how she knows that, and she says she watches Oprah. Alexis says she has never been the love of anyone's life, and in fact has never kissed a boy where it didn't turn into a disaster. Luke says he senses this conversation has turned in a Jerry Jax-themed one.
Casa de 3s a Crowd: Looloo says Johnny is a guest. Maxie asks if Johnny is going to be using the refrigerator, the bathroom and the living room. He says yes to all three, and Maxie says that settles it, he's paying rent. Johnny says he has no problem paying rent until he finds aplace. Looloo idiotically says that Maxie is just jealous b/c she thought she heard them having sex. Shut up, Looloo. Johnny offers to take everyone out for Chinese. Probably because, like me, ever since Maxie mentioned leftover Chinese food, he's been craving it. Maxie wants to stay home and pout and stew over her list of rules.
Corinthaus: Wheels leaves. Claud thanks Sonny for not kicking her out. He says he likes to annoy Wheels, and also doesn't mind her being around. He says they are on the same side. Claud says this seems too easy, adn that when something seems too good to be true, it is. and yet, dum dums like Claud continue to ignore that instinct on a daily basis in this town.
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Haunted Star: Alexis explains to Luke that they played each other, and if he hadn't died, she'd have had no problem turning him and the evidence over. Luke nervously asks if this is just true for Jerry, or other criminals she knows. She asks if he's talking about the time he tried to kill her step mother. Luke quickly corrects saying "WE!" and Alexis says that the "we" part is what negates her ability to prosecute him. He relaxes at this news. Alexis is not the crappy sort of friend that most people are in this town, and lets the conversation turn back to Luke's needs and explains the fact that Luke still loves Laura has to be a real kick in the teeth to Tracy.
Corinthaus: Sonny says he didn't plan on treating Claud miserably. He says he's not proud of the way he treated her in the past, but he had a lot going on, and he took it out on her. Claud admits she was hardly Little Miss Sunshine. Show, please don't mention the titles of far superior and more entertaining movies b/c it just makes me hyper aware of how crappy this show can be. Milo interrupts to deliver the mail. Do Max and Milo really just hang out in the foyer? It must be so cold in there! Claud hops up to look through her magazines. He asks what they can do to make the marriage work for both of them.
Casa de 3s a crowd: Looloo and Johnny come home with Chinese take out. They can hear Maxie giggling and romping. Looloo thinks Maxie is having sex with Spinelli to prove a point. She knows Spinelli is in love with Maxie and thinks this is mean. Spinelli enters at this moment with a Tiffany blue box. That is so nice. Looloo does some quick math and wonders who is in Maxie's room. We hear Maxie moaning "don't stop! don't stop!"
Sam's Apartment: Lucky comes back to Sam's and leaves a message, poutily saying "I guess you decided to skip dinner. Next time just give me a call." and while Lucky is so whiny, Sam really was a jerk not to text him that she was not going to meet him.
Alleydocks: Lucky got voicemail b/c Sam was calling Jason at this exact moment. She whispers to herself as the phone ring, begging Jason to pick up. (we see Jason's phone ringing at his penthouse, no one around to answer it) Sam starts to leave, but realizes The Russian Goons have her surrounded. Oh, maybe Sascha's peripheral vision isn't so bad afterall.
the end
The "this week" promo is about Sonny and Claud. Annoucer: his wife's ambition put his son in a coma. (we see shots of Claud and Sonny and Little Chucky all snuggled in at Whole Foods). Announcer: This week the truth could get her killed. (turns out Jerry made a DVD that details Claud's part in hiring the shooter. Claud gets the DVD and has to keep is secret).
Sonny angrily asks what she's done. (but it seems more like he's asking about Christmas decorations than anything The Danger related)
Thursday, November 20, 2008
GH Recap 11/20: Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner...well..except Liz
Haunted Star: Looloo and her silly curls tells Luke she's surprised Luke didn't go to France with Laura. Luke says he wouldn't leave his wife. He sadly says that he and Laura had their life together, and it was wonderful, but life changes and people change. He hopes Laura is awake for good, and he hopes she moves on and finds a wonderful life for herself. Loo asks if Luke was at least tempted to go with Laura. Tracy, meanwhile, eaveslurks from behind a box tree.
GH: Olivia wraps herself in a sweater and leaves AMA to stop all hell from breaking lose.
Corinthaus: Sonny asks which son Kate means. She says the one who got cheated out of knowing his father, who got left behind. Oh, shut the eff up, Kate. Sonny's beard starts babbling about that they already figured out who is at fault for Chucky. Kate interrupts him and says he doesn't understand.
Docks: Spinelli holds a gun at Stolichnaya, but Stoly only laughs and says Spinelli is a little mouse and backed himself into a corner.
Russian Shadow Warehouse: gunfight ensues. Sam tries to hide behind various wooden crates, presumably hoping some of them contain something metal.
Credits
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Russian Shadow Warehouse: Gunfighting continues. Jason drops one of his guns, and it rolls near Sam. She picks it up and shoots someone over Jason's shoulder. Or maybe she's just a crappy aim. It's hard to tell. Jason exclaims "what are you doing?" then he grabs her wrist and drags her out the door. But then 25 more Russians are waiting b/c they obviously would have heard the gunfight, so they kill them both. Or not really. There are never more bad guys than Jason can handle, of course.
Docks: Johnny appears out of nowhere and saves Spinelli. He says it's a fair fight now. Stoli is sad.
Corinthaus: for some bizarre reason, Kate doesn't just flat out say "no, dickhead, you and Olivia have a son, his name is Dante." Instead she listens to Sonny's beard lament that he and Carly did everything they could to protect their kids, or some such lie that these people tell themselves regularly. Sonny says he'd love to see his kids, but he also thinks they are better off without him. Kate idiotically jumps in and says that the pain in his eyes is b/c he's not with his kids, and he should be with his kids. Yes, Kate, Sonny has pain about his kids. Bad parents who endanger their children's lives usually do. It's the wonderful way that kids can be protected from bad parents. The parents don't like feeling bad, so they release their kids to go and have nice, safe lives. Sonny says he sees his kids as much as their mothers will allow. Again, Kate can't finish a thought and only says she's not talking about Carly or Alexis.
Olivia busts in at this point. Sonny asks if she's serious. She asks "do I look serious?" and yes, she indeed looks very serious. Sonny wonders why she left the hospital to come all the way over here. Sonny is really bad at math, y'all. Well, he's bad at just about everything, but logic and math are even moreso not his thing.
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Haunted Star: I am torn. On the one hand, Luke is entertaining in this scene. On the other hand: Looloo. Loo says she loves Johnny. Luke says he knows, and Johnny is his partner, and as long as he doesn't hurt Looloo, he's cool with that. "If he hurts you, he dies." Looloo giggles that she knows this is true. har dee har har, the heart warming moments of death threats. They really are the ties that bind. Looloo thankfully leaves. Tracy pretends she didn't hear any of that and briskly enters laughing. She asks if it's safe to say they will be getting back to normal.
Corinthaus: Kate and Olivia snipe at each other. Olivia has no right to her personal business. Kate snots that rights are something, but I have to tune her out b/c of how dreadful she has become. Sonny is all "hello, right here!" Olivia says that Kate is trying to have it her way, like always. She says that no matter what Kate says, Olivia will still have her rights, and that Sonny will still be a gangster. Kate says she has a lot to think about. Olivia says she needs to talk to Sonny. Kate bitterly laughs at this for no good reason and says she'll be at home. Kate leaves, and Sonny asks if he should have a clue what that was about. Olivia says it was Kate making a fool of herself over him.
GH: Looloo walks past the lounge and notices Maxie hiding behind the sofa. A nurse passes, and Maxie yells at looloo for not answering her message and says she needs a ride. Looloo deadpans "to Shadybrook?" heh. Maxie says that Spinelli cut her out of his life after she was jumped, and she's afraid he's going to do something dangerous. They run off to get themselves killed or maimed.
Docks: Johnny gets Stoli and Belvedere to leave their guns and go around a corner. oh, good, the Russians went around a corner, and presumably cease to exist. Johnny and Spinelli toss the Russian guns into the water and hang out like there aren't two dangerous Russians just around the corner. Is that the corner that goes directly to Gitmo, or something? Why are they not concerned that there are two bad guys still right there? Spinelli admits he couldn't fire the gun. He says it like it's a bad thing.
Commercials
Wyndermere: Alfred dodderingly reminds us all that Nik is facing two really stupid storylines at the same time: 1. He's being deported. 2. Something about Indians own the island, but they sold it to Jax, and somehow Nik can't just pull out his own lease of the island and point out that since he's not on month to month and no proper notice was given by him or the Indians, then even if the Indians sell the island, his lease will still convey with the sale. But all of that pales in comparison to the fact that Gidget comes running in and flops herself on the sofa and laments she has to leave town.
Haunted Star: Luke says he's happy to pick up where they left off and continue their marriage. Tracy bitterly chuckles "as if nothing happened?" Luke says nothing really did. She asks if that's true. Ric hotly strolls in. He says that Luke's money laundering past makes Wheels unsure about letting the HS re-open. Luke angrily says that Wheels doesn't get a vote. and seriously, unless there is a board of directors of this casino, why does Wheels get to have more than a vocal opinion?
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie and Looloo rush around jason's unlocked apartment and are killed by all the Russians that would have obviously planted bombs all over this completely unguarded mobster's den. Oh, wait, nope. No bad guys here at all, I guess. They can't find Spinelli. Spinelli and Johnny show up. Maxie embraces and thens smacks Spinelli for making her scared.
Liz's Mansion: Liz and Lucky meet. he says Sam called him and asked him to meet her here, and he heard gunfire. Liz is all indignant "what, so she's coming here, with the kids upstairs." Yes, Liz, just like a few days ago, you were going to bring Jason here...with the kids upstairs. Jason and Sam show up. Liz is all "what? a mob war?" As if she thought that Kate just got shot b/c it was shrapnel from a carnival? As if she thought Jason's burned down and Kelly's burned down because they got stuck in a California wildfire that accidentally got on a bus? As if she thought Sonny was going around threatening a mob war and that nothing would come of that? Is Liz really this stupid? Lucky gets off his phone. I really would like to meet the PCPD dispatch person some day. That dude is like Oz in his all knowingness. Lucky angrily asks Jason if he knows anything about a Russian Warehouse that has shadows coming from every conceivable angle at all times, as if there are 3 sons revolving around it.
Corinthaus: Olivia and Sonny continue to foreplayfight. She says he needs to let Kate go for Kate's own good. or something. You can see also: every other conversation these two have had for the past month.
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GH: ( I forgot to mention that Stolichnaya has entered GH and is rummaging around and clearly up to no good.)
Haunted Star: Tracy asks why Ric is still here. Ric hotly says he's just giving Luke a chance to re-think his position. Tracy says that any threats on Luke's life will be met with a lawsuit and will have the IRS crawling all over the Z's like lice. Luke says his wife makes a good point. Ric hotly says "The Russians are coming." Tracy repeats in a 'the hell?' tone "The Russians are coming?" heh. Luke says the Russians are here. Ric hotly leaves. Luke says he's glad they are still a formidable team. Tracy is way to bitter for sweet talk, though, and she says it's only b/c he doesn't have Laura around.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie is shocked that Spinelli would think he could kill someone. Spinelli sadly says "yes, The Jackal is a wimp, everyone agrees." Looloo angrily tells him that he's the only one who thinks that. She totally understands that of course he couldn't kill anyone b/c only horrible people kill people. "yes, we are all friends with Jason, but it's IN SPITE of what he does, not because of it" maxie concurs. Johnny tries to not be all "ahem, I kill people" about it.
GH: In full view of an obviously nefarious dude, Piph yells at Kate b/c Maxie and Olivia both checked out of the hospital AMA. "Are all the women around you just fools asking for trouble?" I dunno, Piph, are all the nurses around you completely unethical and discuss patient's business loudly in front of strangers? Wheels rolls up and makes creepy comments at Kate. She says she's a pig and she'd rather die. (than be with him, I think) He tells her to be careful what she wishes for. She gets in the elevator and is clearly not at ease.
Corinthaus: Sonny's beard mumbles that he fell in love with her cousin, and his son was shot. he hopes she never has to know the pain to know something she did ruined her son's life. Olivia apologizes for not being more genteel about calling him a horrible murdering mobster. Sonny talks about when they were children and in love, but she dumped him b/c he was becoming a mobster. He didn't believe she was really dumping him. then he oddly stutters for 10 minutes, and she says "in front Louie's Pizzeria" Um, we get it. You lived in Bensonhurst. Of course you broke up in front of a pizzeria. He says he could never smell pizza the same. that may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. no wonder he's such a miserable cuss. I've had my heart broken, but I'd never let it ruin PIZZA for me. Loser. She asks if he went after Kate immediately just to get back at her.
and aren't we talking about 15 year olds? I suppose there are marked exceptions, but don't most people never think about the person they loved at 15 again...say once they are 17 or older?
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Corinthaus: SOnny admits he was sort of sticking it to Olivia, but he also really fell for Kate. She was unlike anyone he ever met. And again, they are basically talking about people the age of those high school musical kids. I'm sure it really, really, super a lot matters that everyone goes to prom with the right high school musical kid, but does anyone really hope that any of them remain happily ever after for the next 40 years? breaking into song at the drop of a hat when they get their first job? doing choreographed dances when they apply for AARP?
Liz's Mansion: Jason and Lucky bicker. Lucky doesn't want them to go to a safe house that can be traced to Sonny or Jason. Well, the definition of a SAFE HOUSE would be that it CAN'T be traced to Jason or Sonny. Otherwise? It's just a House. Luckily, Lucky totally knows "about a cabin in the woods that can't be traced to anyone." Hi, writers, thanks for reading the message boards! For some reason Jason takes Lucky at his word. Liz stands there fighting back tears. Aw, poor, Liz, if only she'd had some way of knowing that her boyfriend was a dangerous mobster before today!
Wyndermere: I don't know. Something about Aunt Raylene has heart problems, and something about Aunt Raylene does things with horse studs, and she's been asked to ride a horse in an effing parade of some idiotic sort. She tells us the horse's name, and I think it's supposed to be a joke, but she's so annoyingly fake cry-whining that I can't help but to fantasize that the horse's name is "Killsnadine" she promises to come back and marry him and make him a citizen as soon as this is over. For some reason Nik finds all this endearing instead of hateable. He tells her to go and have fun.
Haunted Star: Luke insists his feelings are real. Tracy asks if Laura had asked him to go to paris, would she have gone. Luke says "yes, but my time with her his over" He wants to be with Tracy now. Tracy angrily asks why she's not happy about being a second choice. "I'm Done! This marriage is over!"
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Haunted Star: Luke says they can work this out. Tracy thinks a second and then says 'nope, not this time.' She says if he'd broken her heart, it could heal. "but you stomped on my pride without a second thought, and I'll never give you a chance to do that again." Luke says he loves her. She chuckles and says he does, until Laura blows back into town. Luke angrily says she doesn't want to do this and doens't want to lose them. "I am the best time you ever sad." Tracy fairly says he's right, and that's what makes this so sad. he says "I won't give up on you, Wife." But she asks him to never call her that again and leaves.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason rushes in and says Liz and the boys are going out of town, so he has nothing to slow him in running the Russians into the ground.
Liz's Mansion: Sam asks Liz not to be mad at Jason for their having to leave. Liz says she's not. Lucky is clearly having an affair with the dispatch person, because he has to leave again. he tells them not to do anything dumb like leave the cabin. Sam says if this is advice for her, she promises not to leave. No matter how itchy that adrenaline itch gets, I guess. But of course there is a Russian hanging out in the bushes. Though, where would his car be? Wouldn't Lucky or Sam or Liz, or heck, even CAMERON notice a car pulls out of their driveway at the same time they do? And really? They don't have a driver that can avoid being followed to drive them? and really? they aren't bringing any guards? WORST MOBSTERS EVER.
corinthaus: Sonny shows up to agree ot marry Claud. Ric hotly looks bummed by this. Sonny makes a Nick Tortelli face, but then he makes this weird grimace/smile, and then goes back to staring. That was nightmarish. But not for any of the reasons Maurice thinks it was.
The End.
GH: Olivia wraps herself in a sweater and leaves AMA to stop all hell from breaking lose.
Corinthaus: Sonny asks which son Kate means. She says the one who got cheated out of knowing his father, who got left behind. Oh, shut the eff up, Kate. Sonny's beard starts babbling about that they already figured out who is at fault for Chucky. Kate interrupts him and says he doesn't understand.
Docks: Spinelli holds a gun at Stolichnaya, but Stoly only laughs and says Spinelli is a little mouse and backed himself into a corner.
Russian Shadow Warehouse: gunfight ensues. Sam tries to hide behind various wooden crates, presumably hoping some of them contain something metal.
Credits
More...
Russian Shadow Warehouse: Gunfighting continues. Jason drops one of his guns, and it rolls near Sam. She picks it up and shoots someone over Jason's shoulder. Or maybe she's just a crappy aim. It's hard to tell. Jason exclaims "what are you doing?" then he grabs her wrist and drags her out the door. But then 25 more Russians are waiting b/c they obviously would have heard the gunfight, so they kill them both. Or not really. There are never more bad guys than Jason can handle, of course.
Docks: Johnny appears out of nowhere and saves Spinelli. He says it's a fair fight now. Stoli is sad.
Corinthaus: for some bizarre reason, Kate doesn't just flat out say "no, dickhead, you and Olivia have a son, his name is Dante." Instead she listens to Sonny's beard lament that he and Carly did everything they could to protect their kids, or some such lie that these people tell themselves regularly. Sonny says he'd love to see his kids, but he also thinks they are better off without him. Kate idiotically jumps in and says that the pain in his eyes is b/c he's not with his kids, and he should be with his kids. Yes, Kate, Sonny has pain about his kids. Bad parents who endanger their children's lives usually do. It's the wonderful way that kids can be protected from bad parents. The parents don't like feeling bad, so they release their kids to go and have nice, safe lives. Sonny says he sees his kids as much as their mothers will allow. Again, Kate can't finish a thought and only says she's not talking about Carly or Alexis.
Olivia busts in at this point. Sonny asks if she's serious. She asks "do I look serious?" and yes, she indeed looks very serious. Sonny wonders why she left the hospital to come all the way over here. Sonny is really bad at math, y'all. Well, he's bad at just about everything, but logic and math are even moreso not his thing.
Commercials.
Haunted Star: I am torn. On the one hand, Luke is entertaining in this scene. On the other hand: Looloo. Loo says she loves Johnny. Luke says he knows, and Johnny is his partner, and as long as he doesn't hurt Looloo, he's cool with that. "If he hurts you, he dies." Looloo giggles that she knows this is true. har dee har har, the heart warming moments of death threats. They really are the ties that bind. Looloo thankfully leaves. Tracy pretends she didn't hear any of that and briskly enters laughing. She asks if it's safe to say they will be getting back to normal.
Corinthaus: Kate and Olivia snipe at each other. Olivia has no right to her personal business. Kate snots that rights are something, but I have to tune her out b/c of how dreadful she has become. Sonny is all "hello, right here!" Olivia says that Kate is trying to have it her way, like always. She says that no matter what Kate says, Olivia will still have her rights, and that Sonny will still be a gangster. Kate says she has a lot to think about. Olivia says she needs to talk to Sonny. Kate bitterly laughs at this for no good reason and says she'll be at home. Kate leaves, and Sonny asks if he should have a clue what that was about. Olivia says it was Kate making a fool of herself over him.
GH: Looloo walks past the lounge and notices Maxie hiding behind the sofa. A nurse passes, and Maxie yells at looloo for not answering her message and says she needs a ride. Looloo deadpans "to Shadybrook?" heh. Maxie says that Spinelli cut her out of his life after she was jumped, and she's afraid he's going to do something dangerous. They run off to get themselves killed or maimed.
Docks: Johnny gets Stoli and Belvedere to leave their guns and go around a corner. oh, good, the Russians went around a corner, and presumably cease to exist. Johnny and Spinelli toss the Russian guns into the water and hang out like there aren't two dangerous Russians just around the corner. Is that the corner that goes directly to Gitmo, or something? Why are they not concerned that there are two bad guys still right there? Spinelli admits he couldn't fire the gun. He says it like it's a bad thing.
Commercials
Wyndermere: Alfred dodderingly reminds us all that Nik is facing two really stupid storylines at the same time: 1. He's being deported. 2. Something about Indians own the island, but they sold it to Jax, and somehow Nik can't just pull out his own lease of the island and point out that since he's not on month to month and no proper notice was given by him or the Indians, then even if the Indians sell the island, his lease will still convey with the sale. But all of that pales in comparison to the fact that Gidget comes running in and flops herself on the sofa and laments she has to leave town.
Haunted Star: Luke says he's happy to pick up where they left off and continue their marriage. Tracy bitterly chuckles "as if nothing happened?" Luke says nothing really did. She asks if that's true. Ric hotly strolls in. He says that Luke's money laundering past makes Wheels unsure about letting the HS re-open. Luke angrily says that Wheels doesn't get a vote. and seriously, unless there is a board of directors of this casino, why does Wheels get to have more than a vocal opinion?
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie and Looloo rush around jason's unlocked apartment and are killed by all the Russians that would have obviously planted bombs all over this completely unguarded mobster's den. Oh, wait, nope. No bad guys here at all, I guess. They can't find Spinelli. Spinelli and Johnny show up. Maxie embraces and thens smacks Spinelli for making her scared.
Liz's Mansion: Liz and Lucky meet. he says Sam called him and asked him to meet her here, and he heard gunfire. Liz is all indignant "what, so she's coming here, with the kids upstairs." Yes, Liz, just like a few days ago, you were going to bring Jason here...with the kids upstairs. Jason and Sam show up. Liz is all "what? a mob war?" As if she thought that Kate just got shot b/c it was shrapnel from a carnival? As if she thought Jason's burned down and Kelly's burned down because they got stuck in a California wildfire that accidentally got on a bus? As if she thought Sonny was going around threatening a mob war and that nothing would come of that? Is Liz really this stupid? Lucky gets off his phone. I really would like to meet the PCPD dispatch person some day. That dude is like Oz in his all knowingness. Lucky angrily asks Jason if he knows anything about a Russian Warehouse that has shadows coming from every conceivable angle at all times, as if there are 3 sons revolving around it.
Corinthaus: Olivia and Sonny continue to foreplayfight. She says he needs to let Kate go for Kate's own good. or something. You can see also: every other conversation these two have had for the past month.
Commercials
GH: ( I forgot to mention that Stolichnaya has entered GH and is rummaging around and clearly up to no good.)
Haunted Star: Tracy asks why Ric is still here. Ric hotly says he's just giving Luke a chance to re-think his position. Tracy says that any threats on Luke's life will be met with a lawsuit and will have the IRS crawling all over the Z's like lice. Luke says his wife makes a good point. Ric hotly says "The Russians are coming." Tracy repeats in a 'the hell?' tone "The Russians are coming?" heh. Luke says the Russians are here. Ric hotly leaves. Luke says he's glad they are still a formidable team. Tracy is way to bitter for sweet talk, though, and she says it's only b/c he doesn't have Laura around.
Jason's Penthouse: Maxie is shocked that Spinelli would think he could kill someone. Spinelli sadly says "yes, The Jackal is a wimp, everyone agrees." Looloo angrily tells him that he's the only one who thinks that. She totally understands that of course he couldn't kill anyone b/c only horrible people kill people. "yes, we are all friends with Jason, but it's IN SPITE of what he does, not because of it" maxie concurs. Johnny tries to not be all "ahem, I kill people" about it.
GH: In full view of an obviously nefarious dude, Piph yells at Kate b/c Maxie and Olivia both checked out of the hospital AMA. "Are all the women around you just fools asking for trouble?" I dunno, Piph, are all the nurses around you completely unethical and discuss patient's business loudly in front of strangers? Wheels rolls up and makes creepy comments at Kate. She says she's a pig and she'd rather die. (than be with him, I think) He tells her to be careful what she wishes for. She gets in the elevator and is clearly not at ease.
Corinthaus: Sonny's beard mumbles that he fell in love with her cousin, and his son was shot. he hopes she never has to know the pain to know something she did ruined her son's life. Olivia apologizes for not being more genteel about calling him a horrible murdering mobster. Sonny talks about when they were children and in love, but she dumped him b/c he was becoming a mobster. He didn't believe she was really dumping him. then he oddly stutters for 10 minutes, and she says "in front Louie's Pizzeria" Um, we get it. You lived in Bensonhurst. Of course you broke up in front of a pizzeria. He says he could never smell pizza the same. that may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. no wonder he's such a miserable cuss. I've had my heart broken, but I'd never let it ruin PIZZA for me. Loser. She asks if he went after Kate immediately just to get back at her.
and aren't we talking about 15 year olds? I suppose there are marked exceptions, but don't most people never think about the person they loved at 15 again...say once they are 17 or older?
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Corinthaus: SOnny admits he was sort of sticking it to Olivia, but he also really fell for Kate. She was unlike anyone he ever met. And again, they are basically talking about people the age of those high school musical kids. I'm sure it really, really, super a lot matters that everyone goes to prom with the right high school musical kid, but does anyone really hope that any of them remain happily ever after for the next 40 years? breaking into song at the drop of a hat when they get their first job? doing choreographed dances when they apply for AARP?
Liz's Mansion: Jason and Lucky bicker. Lucky doesn't want them to go to a safe house that can be traced to Sonny or Jason. Well, the definition of a SAFE HOUSE would be that it CAN'T be traced to Jason or Sonny. Otherwise? It's just a House. Luckily, Lucky totally knows "about a cabin in the woods that can't be traced to anyone." Hi, writers, thanks for reading the message boards! For some reason Jason takes Lucky at his word. Liz stands there fighting back tears. Aw, poor, Liz, if only she'd had some way of knowing that her boyfriend was a dangerous mobster before today!
Wyndermere: I don't know. Something about Aunt Raylene has heart problems, and something about Aunt Raylene does things with horse studs, and she's been asked to ride a horse in an effing parade of some idiotic sort. She tells us the horse's name, and I think it's supposed to be a joke, but she's so annoyingly fake cry-whining that I can't help but to fantasize that the horse's name is "Killsnadine" she promises to come back and marry him and make him a citizen as soon as this is over. For some reason Nik finds all this endearing instead of hateable. He tells her to go and have fun.
Haunted Star: Luke insists his feelings are real. Tracy asks if Laura had asked him to go to paris, would she have gone. Luke says "yes, but my time with her his over" He wants to be with Tracy now. Tracy angrily asks why she's not happy about being a second choice. "I'm Done! This marriage is over!"
Commercials
Haunted Star: Luke says they can work this out. Tracy thinks a second and then says 'nope, not this time.' She says if he'd broken her heart, it could heal. "but you stomped on my pride without a second thought, and I'll never give you a chance to do that again." Luke says he loves her. She chuckles and says he does, until Laura blows back into town. Luke angrily says she doesn't want to do this and doens't want to lose them. "I am the best time you ever sad." Tracy fairly says he's right, and that's what makes this so sad. he says "I won't give up on you, Wife." But she asks him to never call her that again and leaves.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason rushes in and says Liz and the boys are going out of town, so he has nothing to slow him in running the Russians into the ground.
Liz's Mansion: Sam asks Liz not to be mad at Jason for their having to leave. Liz says she's not. Lucky is clearly having an affair with the dispatch person, because he has to leave again. he tells them not to do anything dumb like leave the cabin. Sam says if this is advice for her, she promises not to leave. No matter how itchy that adrenaline itch gets, I guess. But of course there is a Russian hanging out in the bushes. Though, where would his car be? Wouldn't Lucky or Sam or Liz, or heck, even CAMERON notice a car pulls out of their driveway at the same time they do? And really? They don't have a driver that can avoid being followed to drive them? and really? they aren't bringing any guards? WORST MOBSTERS EVER.
corinthaus: Sonny shows up to agree ot marry Claud. Ric hotly looks bummed by this. Sonny makes a Nick Tortelli face, but then he makes this weird grimace/smile, and then goes back to staring. That was nightmarish. But not for any of the reasons Maurice thinks it was.
The End.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
GH Recaps 11/14: Kelly's My Darling, you are my sunshine....
You have crossed the line, Show. I know you love killing babies (Sam's, Lili's, Clumpy Morgancell.) Dooming Michael to grow older at Whole Foods Union Square was really crossing the line.
But Kelly's?
Where Liz and the Good Lucky first met? The place with broken toaster and the clumpy chili? The place where Port Chuckians go daily to get coffee and gossip because Starbucks is EVERYWHERE except Port Charles? Aunt Ruby....Jessie Brewer, anyone? Jagger broke into Kelly's back in the day. Liz ordered a beer here when she was underaged. The QUARTERMAINES lived at Kelly's when they were once bankrupt, for heavens sake. The Quart. Er. Maines. It's where Lila developed Pickle Lila. Miquel and Brenda "lived above Kelly's" Tammy the hooker! The place where anyone can go and press a button on the jukebox and the perfect song that no one has ever heard but the music producers of ABC will begin to play, and it will perfectly illustrate the love, hope, heartbreak and desolation of any character at any time, and somehow the character magically knew that B-12 was the perfect song for their personal situation? The place where EVERY ingenue lives, for at least a little while, before she gets "saved" by some man in town. I doubt there is a single character, past or present, who hasn't had a meaningful moment at Kelly's, and if they didn't, they never mattered that much to the show, is my point. Every single fan of the show adores a memorable scene that happened at Kelly's.
but this is the place you burn down for The Danger? Not Sonnybucks (heh, I can't even remember who coined that, but it's still a favorite of mne), not any of the Alleydocks? Not Corinthaus?
Lemme guess, you actually considered burning down the hospital itself or the Quartermaine mansion but thought the better of it? well, thank you for that, I guess.
I can see how people put up with Sonny and Jason when it's just Alan that is killed. when it's just chucky who ends up at Whole Foods. when it's just a pregnant newlywed who is blown up. when it's just a train that derails. when it's just a hotel that catches on fire. when it's just one of Sonny's or Jason's stupid lovers who are in danger.
but KELLY'S?
I don't see how every character doesn't show up at Corinthaus with a pitchfork and a torch and ask him to kindly get the hellouttatown or face the music. You know, the music that used to play on the jukebox at KELLY'S?
So join me now, singing along with Woody from Cheers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hJjx7jTHA8
More...
Kelly's: It's all sadly boarded up already. Looloo finds it in surprise. Johnny shows up to be maudlin with her.
jason's Office: maxie for some reason is only just now telling Jason and Spinelli about seeing the Russians. So how did the fire get put out already, and the place boarded up?
Rissian Room of Shadows: Sascha and Smirnov and Belvedere hang out and speak to a Speaker Phone Guy about their night of mischief.
Hospital: Mike is in the hotel room. Sonny morosely says "they said they'd retaliate. Because of me." and as per usual, he's all sad and surprised and can't believe it's come to this WHEN HE FULL WELL KNEW HE WAS ...oh, nevermind. just HATE!
Credits
Kelly's al Fresco: Johnny asks if Loo knows his father did this. Loo then starts yammering about trying to process that her mother was catatonic and then 20 minutes later, she was on a plane to France. Looloo says she is used to having to walk on eggshells around Laura. SHe is acting like Laura has been visiting Catatonia off and on for decades. Loo says she got a call from Bobbie about Kelly's. Aw, poor Bobbie, she doesn't even get a scene being sad about her cafe. I'm just so hating this scene with the plywood and "do not cross" yellow tape.
Nurse's Station: Liz is so aggitated. It is annoying when you put in the diaphragm and then don't get to use it, I guess. She drops and fusses. Sam shows up to ask if Liz has a minute. lol. Liz says it's not a good time. I assume she "The Cenozoic Era" is not a good time. Sam promises nothing happened with Jason.
jason's office: Jason interprets for Spinelli and asks if she heard anything. She thinks she heard Russian. Jason asks if she talked to anyone. She says she didn't tell Mac and didn't tell 911 her number. Jason said she did good, but she has to go. She's grumpy, but he says she proved she couldn't keep her mouth shut last night. I guess he knows that Maxie sent Liz over to his house? How does he know that...oh, wait, what am I saying. He knows what everyone within a 50 mile radius had for breakfast by listening closely.
Mike's Room: Sonny sits around and blames himself because it's his fault, and Mike stupidly, lamely, pathetically, (anyone got a thesaurus?) tells him it's not his fault and not to blame himself. What is wrong with people. Kate shows up to visit Mike and is surprised to see Sonny. Mike says it looks worse than it is and he's a fast healer. Sonny just creepily stares at her and strokes the Beard with a finger. Kate tells Mike there won't be a new wedding b/c they are through. Yep, heard that one before.
Commercials
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Robin's Room: That baby is so teeny and cute. Patrick is worried Robin will get fatigued holding the baby. Why does robin talk like a Robot sometimes? Like she's Data. Who talks in these long, informative speeches? patrick says he wouldn't know how to be a dad without her. She says he totally fixed a tricky cabinet once, and it will be just like that as a dad. Patrick teases her for suddenly being optimistic. She says when she woke up and saw their family, it restored her faith in miracles. Robin then, with her non stop bleeding evisceration wound, SITS UP and hands the baby to Patrick. and thus she busts all her stitches and bleeds out instantly. why can't they ever be vaguely realistic?
Kelly's al Fresco: Loo and Johnny talk about how they don't know who did it. Loo says Kelly's has always been around for her family. She angrily asks why someone would deliberately destroy it. Good question!
Nurse's Station: Sam wants to not go backwards from the good place she and Liz have managed to get to. Sam admits she's still with Lucky. Liz apologizes for over reacting and says they are having a tough time. She confides that it's confusing b/c one minute they are going off to Italy and then... and Sam empathizes and says "but business gets in the way." Sam says that Liz knows Jason loves her. Liz says she knows, but Jason says love is not enough, and she's starting to believe it. Sam says it will be difficult, but she just wants it to be clear that she and Jason are done and nothing has happened to change that. Liz wanly smiles in appreciation of this and Sam leaves.
Jason's Office: maxie sputters that Jason just said she did good, but he reveals that he put his fingers in the air and executed the mind reading application installed in them and discerned that she did tell Liz about Sam. She leaves, defeated. Spinelli tries to defend her, but jason angrily explains that he can't have people doing petty things that backfire, and he especially can't have Liz get hurt.
Maxie leaves Wheatgrass Cafe with two coffees. Smirnoff notices her and decides to try to get one of her coffees. Or, also, maybe he's trying to hurt her. boo!
Mike's Room: Olivia eaveslurks and listens ot Kate repeat what Jax has been saying to Carly for days: that the problem isn't even limosex, it's limoeverythingelse. it's everythingelsesex. It's Carly and Sonny always pick each other, and everyone else comes second. Sonny says he can't argue, but everyone close to him is going to be a target.
and I'm going to count to 10 and not scream very loudly that it's so aggravating that EVERY single person who knows Sonny has been telling him that this is PRECISELY what would happen if he went down this idiotic path of killing Krapov, and yet now he's acting like this is some new, grave bit of business that no one could have forseen. and now we all have to work together to fix it. Basically, Sonny is Mayor Nagin, Michael Brown, and George Bush rolled into one, idiotic, incompetent loser, except he's also Neptune and actually is responsible for the hurricane as well.
Commercials
Robin's Room: Shawn Douglas stops by to visit Robin. She says the "instant family" thing is kind of strange. She says she has experience in this area, and it gets easier. He looks at pics of Emma and says he sees her twice a day. She thinks that's sweet, and teases she might just start to think he's nice. He teases that he's just worried about Emma growing up with just Patrick. Robin asks him to Patricksit for awhile, so she can get a break from his hovering.
Z'House: Johnny finds Wheels reading the paper. Wheels giddily tells about kelly's being torched, a 'truck yard" being burned and Sonny's dad getting beat up. He says it's nice to read good news for a change. heh. Johnny implies that Wheels is responsible, and he, of course, feigns being innocent. John thinks Wheels did this to hurt Looloo and send her back to Shadyrose. Wheels says John thinks people think about Looloo a lot more than they do. Word. Wheels says that obviously Krapov did this to retaliate.
Jason's Office: Bernie is giving details to Jason about the Russian Rapscallions. Some truck yard is not salvageable. Bernie says he believes Jason will consider the men who work for him and consider how things will affect them. Bernie angrily says that Sonny doesn't do such things, and the men in Jason's army are angry. I'm thinking it's sort of like Saruman's Army out there. Jason says he'll call a meeting with the Lt's, but Bernie says they are ahead of him, and meet at Pier 10 in an hour. jason says he has to do something first. Bernie says "the town is going to be in rubble, Jason, what could possibly be more important?"
Mike's Room: Well, I can tell you one thing, Bernie: It would be whatever is going on in Mike's room where Sonny, Mike and Kate are hanging around and being whiny.
Commercials
Robins' Room: Apparently bleeding to death is pleasant. Robin cheerfully holds her baby and tells her a long story about how she and Patrick are control freaks. Patrick comes in and says she's busted and says it was obvious that Shawn Douglas would never invite him to dinner, and that she was obviously trying to get rid of him. Epiphany comes in to say that Robin and Emma are released. Oh, so she got cured? I guess I just missed that part?
Z'House: Wheels says the fall out from Krapov's murder will work just as well as Sonny coming to him directly. The Russians are going for blanket The Dangerer, so last night they came after Jason as well as Sonny. Wheels calls Jason "that Bazooka" hah! Johnny says Jason will want to protect his interests and will distance himself from Sonny. Sonny will be alone, so next time he comes to Wheels, he'll need protection for himself as well as Kate. Wheels is impressed with Johnny's understanding. Wheels, for some wacky reason, is still wanting Sonny to marry Claud. I'm so confused by this. Because then Wheels will protect Sonny from the Russians?
Mike's Room: Mike pathetically says Sonny had to strike back after he was knifed at the docks. Sonny says the Russians torched jason's holdings as well. Then he says Krapov's people are trying to get rid of any ally he has, but he weirdly pronounces it "aye-lie" He thinks he should go to Jason.
GH: Olivia shows up to still be obsessed with talking about Sonny constantly. Well, at least she is becoming gradually more annoying each day, so it won't bum me out as much when she sleeps with him. I would love it if Olivia just flat out shot Sonny. Olivia says she hired a private security force for Kate's house. How did she pay for it? Kate asks why Olivia is being so over the top. Olivia says Sonny just scratches whatever itch he needs to scratch and leaves the consequences for everything. Kate says protection from the mob is an illusion. She says if having been with Sonny makes her a target, there is nothing that can be done. Olivia says she wouldn't be so sure and leaves. Kate, why don't you go down to the docks with a target on your chest?
Commercials
Sams' Apartment: Maxie shows up with the coffees and to apologize to Sam for tattling about seeing her with Jason after Liz was rude to her. Sam says it's probably good in a weird way that Liz walked in when she did.
Nurse's Station: Jason walks up to Liz in a rush and asks to talk to her. Liz says she's working. Then bitterly adds "and like you, my work is important to me." heh. Jason says a lot has happened, and he needs to talk to her about it, and he'll wait. He goes to sit and wait while she pouts a little longer.
Wheatgrass Cafe: Olivia shows up and starts harassing the barrista to round up Jason. He's like "I just make coffee", but she tells him she knows there must be an emergency number, so call it and tell him she's waiting. She makes herself comfy in jason's office. Because what mobster would leave his office locked? Meanwhile, Smirnoff, Belvedere and Grey Goose show up with bats and malitov cocktails and start smashing the place. I think I've seen this before. It was a weird art house film made in the 40's about the danger of poor sportsmanship.
Commercials
Kelly's al fresco: Loo has summoned Johnny back, and they confirm that they know about the Russian Rapscallions. john still says it's from the world he's fron. That is father is giddy in anticipation for more rapscallawaggery. Loo says Wheels lives here too. Johnny says that their house already floated down the Hudson from where it used to be, so it's not like they can't just unattach and move further downstream. blah blah they kiss.
Sam's Apartment: Sam says she loved the danger, and thinking on her feet, and the stakes, that she felt like her old self. Maxie says she sounds like Luke and suggests they hook up. Sam says she's already found her perfect partner in crime. We see Stolichnaya is outside approaching the door, as Sam describes how she and Lucky get along and don't even have to talk, but she doesn't say Lucky's name, so Maxie teases "that must work out well for Jason" Sam bops her with a pillow.
Blue Stairwell: Jason and Liz meet. He says that he didn't show up last night b/c someone tried to kill him, that he's being retaliated in an attack on Sonny. Liz says "what?" like this is somehow shocking to her. Even though this man was holding her child when he got a call to go murder someone. He says he lost a lot of men. Then he senses something in the distance. She asks what is wrong. he says "see that glow over yonder? I think that's my office." Uh oh, how can Jason be uncertain of something? I feel so lost and cold.
Jason's Flaming Office: (ha) Olivia is trapped inside, and the flames are very high. I have no idea how she can possibly still breathe. Apparently no one ever taught her about getting close to the ground. Sonny shows up to big, fat stupid save her, even though she's only in danger because of him.
The end.
But Kelly's?
Where Liz and the Good Lucky first met? The place with broken toaster and the clumpy chili? The place where Port Chuckians go daily to get coffee and gossip because Starbucks is EVERYWHERE except Port Charles? Aunt Ruby....Jessie Brewer, anyone? Jagger broke into Kelly's back in the day. Liz ordered a beer here when she was underaged. The QUARTERMAINES lived at Kelly's when they were once bankrupt, for heavens sake. The Quart. Er. Maines. It's where Lila developed Pickle Lila. Miquel and Brenda "lived above Kelly's" Tammy the hooker! The place where anyone can go and press a button on the jukebox and the perfect song that no one has ever heard but the music producers of ABC will begin to play, and it will perfectly illustrate the love, hope, heartbreak and desolation of any character at any time, and somehow the character magically knew that B-12 was the perfect song for their personal situation? The place where EVERY ingenue lives, for at least a little while, before she gets "saved" by some man in town. I doubt there is a single character, past or present, who hasn't had a meaningful moment at Kelly's, and if they didn't, they never mattered that much to the show, is my point. Every single fan of the show adores a memorable scene that happened at Kelly's.
but this is the place you burn down for The Danger? Not Sonnybucks (heh, I can't even remember who coined that, but it's still a favorite of mne), not any of the Alleydocks? Not Corinthaus?
Lemme guess, you actually considered burning down the hospital itself or the Quartermaine mansion but thought the better of it? well, thank you for that, I guess.
I can see how people put up with Sonny and Jason when it's just Alan that is killed. when it's just chucky who ends up at Whole Foods. when it's just a pregnant newlywed who is blown up. when it's just a train that derails. when it's just a hotel that catches on fire. when it's just one of Sonny's or Jason's stupid lovers who are in danger.
but KELLY'S?
I don't see how every character doesn't show up at Corinthaus with a pitchfork and a torch and ask him to kindly get the hellouttatown or face the music. You know, the music that used to play on the jukebox at KELLY'S?
So join me now, singing along with Woody from Cheers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hJjx7jTHA8
More...
Kelly's: It's all sadly boarded up already. Looloo finds it in surprise. Johnny shows up to be maudlin with her.
jason's Office: maxie for some reason is only just now telling Jason and Spinelli about seeing the Russians. So how did the fire get put out already, and the place boarded up?
Rissian Room of Shadows: Sascha and Smirnov and Belvedere hang out and speak to a Speaker Phone Guy about their night of mischief.
Hospital: Mike is in the hotel room. Sonny morosely says "they said they'd retaliate. Because of me." and as per usual, he's all sad and surprised and can't believe it's come to this WHEN HE FULL WELL KNEW HE WAS ...oh, nevermind. just HATE!
Credits
Kelly's al Fresco: Johnny asks if Loo knows his father did this. Loo then starts yammering about trying to process that her mother was catatonic and then 20 minutes later, she was on a plane to France. Looloo says she is used to having to walk on eggshells around Laura. SHe is acting like Laura has been visiting Catatonia off and on for decades. Loo says she got a call from Bobbie about Kelly's. Aw, poor Bobbie, she doesn't even get a scene being sad about her cafe. I'm just so hating this scene with the plywood and "do not cross" yellow tape.
Nurse's Station: Liz is so aggitated. It is annoying when you put in the diaphragm and then don't get to use it, I guess. She drops and fusses. Sam shows up to ask if Liz has a minute. lol. Liz says it's not a good time. I assume she "The Cenozoic Era" is not a good time. Sam promises nothing happened with Jason.
jason's office: Jason interprets for Spinelli and asks if she heard anything. She thinks she heard Russian. Jason asks if she talked to anyone. She says she didn't tell Mac and didn't tell 911 her number. Jason said she did good, but she has to go. She's grumpy, but he says she proved she couldn't keep her mouth shut last night. I guess he knows that Maxie sent Liz over to his house? How does he know that...oh, wait, what am I saying. He knows what everyone within a 50 mile radius had for breakfast by listening closely.
Mike's Room: Sonny sits around and blames himself because it's his fault, and Mike stupidly, lamely, pathetically, (anyone got a thesaurus?) tells him it's not his fault and not to blame himself. What is wrong with people. Kate shows up to visit Mike and is surprised to see Sonny. Mike says it looks worse than it is and he's a fast healer. Sonny just creepily stares at her and strokes the Beard with a finger. Kate tells Mike there won't be a new wedding b/c they are through. Yep, heard that one before.
Commercials
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
Robin's Room: That baby is so teeny and cute. Patrick is worried Robin will get fatigued holding the baby. Why does robin talk like a Robot sometimes? Like she's Data. Who talks in these long, informative speeches? patrick says he wouldn't know how to be a dad without her. She says he totally fixed a tricky cabinet once, and it will be just like that as a dad. Patrick teases her for suddenly being optimistic. She says when she woke up and saw their family, it restored her faith in miracles. Robin then, with her non stop bleeding evisceration wound, SITS UP and hands the baby to Patrick. and thus she busts all her stitches and bleeds out instantly. why can't they ever be vaguely realistic?
Kelly's al Fresco: Loo and Johnny talk about how they don't know who did it. Loo says Kelly's has always been around for her family. She angrily asks why someone would deliberately destroy it. Good question!
Nurse's Station: Sam wants to not go backwards from the good place she and Liz have managed to get to. Sam admits she's still with Lucky. Liz apologizes for over reacting and says they are having a tough time. She confides that it's confusing b/c one minute they are going off to Italy and then... and Sam empathizes and says "but business gets in the way." Sam says that Liz knows Jason loves her. Liz says she knows, but Jason says love is not enough, and she's starting to believe it. Sam says it will be difficult, but she just wants it to be clear that she and Jason are done and nothing has happened to change that. Liz wanly smiles in appreciation of this and Sam leaves.
Jason's Office: maxie sputters that Jason just said she did good, but he reveals that he put his fingers in the air and executed the mind reading application installed in them and discerned that she did tell Liz about Sam. She leaves, defeated. Spinelli tries to defend her, but jason angrily explains that he can't have people doing petty things that backfire, and he especially can't have Liz get hurt.
Maxie leaves Wheatgrass Cafe with two coffees. Smirnoff notices her and decides to try to get one of her coffees. Or, also, maybe he's trying to hurt her. boo!
Mike's Room: Olivia eaveslurks and listens ot Kate repeat what Jax has been saying to Carly for days: that the problem isn't even limosex, it's limoeverythingelse. it's everythingelsesex. It's Carly and Sonny always pick each other, and everyone else comes second. Sonny says he can't argue, but everyone close to him is going to be a target.
and I'm going to count to 10 and not scream very loudly that it's so aggravating that EVERY single person who knows Sonny has been telling him that this is PRECISELY what would happen if he went down this idiotic path of killing Krapov, and yet now he's acting like this is some new, grave bit of business that no one could have forseen. and now we all have to work together to fix it. Basically, Sonny is Mayor Nagin, Michael Brown, and George Bush rolled into one, idiotic, incompetent loser, except he's also Neptune and actually is responsible for the hurricane as well.
Commercials
Robin's Room: Shawn Douglas stops by to visit Robin. She says the "instant family" thing is kind of strange. She says she has experience in this area, and it gets easier. He looks at pics of Emma and says he sees her twice a day. She thinks that's sweet, and teases she might just start to think he's nice. He teases that he's just worried about Emma growing up with just Patrick. Robin asks him to Patricksit for awhile, so she can get a break from his hovering.
Z'House: Johnny finds Wheels reading the paper. Wheels giddily tells about kelly's being torched, a 'truck yard" being burned and Sonny's dad getting beat up. He says it's nice to read good news for a change. heh. Johnny implies that Wheels is responsible, and he, of course, feigns being innocent. John thinks Wheels did this to hurt Looloo and send her back to Shadyrose. Wheels says John thinks people think about Looloo a lot more than they do. Word. Wheels says that obviously Krapov did this to retaliate.
Jason's Office: Bernie is giving details to Jason about the Russian Rapscallions. Some truck yard is not salvageable. Bernie says he believes Jason will consider the men who work for him and consider how things will affect them. Bernie angrily says that Sonny doesn't do such things, and the men in Jason's army are angry. I'm thinking it's sort of like Saruman's Army out there. Jason says he'll call a meeting with the Lt's, but Bernie says they are ahead of him, and meet at Pier 10 in an hour. jason says he has to do something first. Bernie says "the town is going to be in rubble, Jason, what could possibly be more important?"
Mike's Room: Well, I can tell you one thing, Bernie: It would be whatever is going on in Mike's room where Sonny, Mike and Kate are hanging around and being whiny.
Commercials
Robins' Room: Apparently bleeding to death is pleasant. Robin cheerfully holds her baby and tells her a long story about how she and Patrick are control freaks. Patrick comes in and says she's busted and says it was obvious that Shawn Douglas would never invite him to dinner, and that she was obviously trying to get rid of him. Epiphany comes in to say that Robin and Emma are released. Oh, so she got cured? I guess I just missed that part?
Z'House: Wheels says the fall out from Krapov's murder will work just as well as Sonny coming to him directly. The Russians are going for blanket The Dangerer, so last night they came after Jason as well as Sonny. Wheels calls Jason "that Bazooka" hah! Johnny says Jason will want to protect his interests and will distance himself from Sonny. Sonny will be alone, so next time he comes to Wheels, he'll need protection for himself as well as Kate. Wheels is impressed with Johnny's understanding. Wheels, for some wacky reason, is still wanting Sonny to marry Claud. I'm so confused by this. Because then Wheels will protect Sonny from the Russians?
Mike's Room: Mike pathetically says Sonny had to strike back after he was knifed at the docks. Sonny says the Russians torched jason's holdings as well. Then he says Krapov's people are trying to get rid of any ally he has, but he weirdly pronounces it "aye-lie" He thinks he should go to Jason.
GH: Olivia shows up to still be obsessed with talking about Sonny constantly. Well, at least she is becoming gradually more annoying each day, so it won't bum me out as much when she sleeps with him. I would love it if Olivia just flat out shot Sonny. Olivia says she hired a private security force for Kate's house. How did she pay for it? Kate asks why Olivia is being so over the top. Olivia says Sonny just scratches whatever itch he needs to scratch and leaves the consequences for everything. Kate says protection from the mob is an illusion. She says if having been with Sonny makes her a target, there is nothing that can be done. Olivia says she wouldn't be so sure and leaves. Kate, why don't you go down to the docks with a target on your chest?
Commercials
Sams' Apartment: Maxie shows up with the coffees and to apologize to Sam for tattling about seeing her with Jason after Liz was rude to her. Sam says it's probably good in a weird way that Liz walked in when she did.
Nurse's Station: Jason walks up to Liz in a rush and asks to talk to her. Liz says she's working. Then bitterly adds "and like you, my work is important to me." heh. Jason says a lot has happened, and he needs to talk to her about it, and he'll wait. He goes to sit and wait while she pouts a little longer.
Wheatgrass Cafe: Olivia shows up and starts harassing the barrista to round up Jason. He's like "I just make coffee", but she tells him she knows there must be an emergency number, so call it and tell him she's waiting. She makes herself comfy in jason's office. Because what mobster would leave his office locked? Meanwhile, Smirnoff, Belvedere and Grey Goose show up with bats and malitov cocktails and start smashing the place. I think I've seen this before. It was a weird art house film made in the 40's about the danger of poor sportsmanship.
Commercials
Kelly's al fresco: Loo has summoned Johnny back, and they confirm that they know about the Russian Rapscallions. john still says it's from the world he's fron. That is father is giddy in anticipation for more rapscallawaggery. Loo says Wheels lives here too. Johnny says that their house already floated down the Hudson from where it used to be, so it's not like they can't just unattach and move further downstream. blah blah they kiss.
Sam's Apartment: Sam says she loved the danger, and thinking on her feet, and the stakes, that she felt like her old self. Maxie says she sounds like Luke and suggests they hook up. Sam says she's already found her perfect partner in crime. We see Stolichnaya is outside approaching the door, as Sam describes how she and Lucky get along and don't even have to talk, but she doesn't say Lucky's name, so Maxie teases "that must work out well for Jason" Sam bops her with a pillow.
Blue Stairwell: Jason and Liz meet. He says that he didn't show up last night b/c someone tried to kill him, that he's being retaliated in an attack on Sonny. Liz says "what?" like this is somehow shocking to her. Even though this man was holding her child when he got a call to go murder someone. He says he lost a lot of men. Then he senses something in the distance. She asks what is wrong. he says "see that glow over yonder? I think that's my office." Uh oh, how can Jason be uncertain of something? I feel so lost and cold.
Jason's Flaming Office: (ha) Olivia is trapped inside, and the flames are very high. I have no idea how she can possibly still breathe. Apparently no one ever taught her about getting close to the ground. Sonny shows up to big, fat stupid save her, even though she's only in danger because of him.
The end.
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