Previously on General Hospital, we learned that either the writing staff does not understand what "air born" means, or the writing staff doesn't know what "air" is or where "air" is. (Hint : everywhere)
We also learned the Port Charles has a beer delivery service, much like the old milk man service, and the service is free to mechanic's garages that are abandoned enough to hide out in, but not so abandoned that they don't have light or heat. I smell Dharma Initiative!
Benefit: Sonny lays Kate down on the ground and asks for help. Nadine jumps to action, but Claud claims Kate is faking. We see a shot of the vent. OH, that's right, because this 48 story hospital has duct work that goes all floppity floo all over the place. Next we see the duct in the OR. Also, there are gauges that talk about Nitrogen and "air" lol. So, they've HEARD of the word air.
Jason tells Raynor about the remarkably unrealistic ductwork, and Raynor tells JASON to seal off the room. I guess he's supposed to use all the zippers on his and Sam's jackets? Why not call the CDC? Or, I dunno, Home Depot for that matter b/c they at least sell plastic and duct tape. Whatever. Jason asks about the people inside.
Credits.
Haunted Star: Luke catches someone robbing the joint. A boy who has to be Dante turns around and asks crazily if Luke is a gambling man?
GH Hall: Loo tolerates Nik talking about someone besides herself for a few moments while Nik insists he saw Emily at the nurse's station.
Emma's Palace: Robin stands over her baby and talks to her like she's a chess game. She won't pick up Emma b/c she has some bizarre notion that Emma has really complicated opinions about Robin's mothering skills as opposed to really uncomplicated opinions about the load in her diaper and the rumbling in her tummy.
Cafe Interrogate/GH Phone call: Raynor wants Spinelli to hack into the hospital's duct system. Is it computerized? the hell? It's just a series of metal tubes. Whatever. Maybe Spinelli can turn all all the video cameras in the ducts as well! Also, why not call THE MAINTENANCE PEOPLE at the effing hospital?
GH Hall: sam runs after Patrick b/c she has a lot of places to be at once if she's going to be in Everyone's Business by the end of the show. She wants to go and turn off the toxin or something idiotic like that, and she should go b/c Patrick has a family. Why would the toxin have an off switch? Why would they wait until now to hit it? Why doesn't the CDC exist?
Benefit: Carly tries to go for help, but Jason has "sealed" her in, and I think he "sealed" her in by sticking a broom handle through the door knobs. I'm sure it's a hermetic broom handle though. Carly asks what's the big idea and says Kate collapsed. But because the door is sealed so tightly, all Jason hears is ever single word she says very clearly.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Hey, why does Dante have an accent? He says he picked the lock and came in to get out of the storm. Luke lowers his gun. Dante says he can tell Luke needs a professional, and he's the best bartender ever. Luke says he likes a Naked Nymph and says it's a drink. I wonder how it differs from a Naked Jason.
Emma's Palace: Mac visits Robin because there is a blizzard, and that's the best time to drive across town. Mac says he knows she's a great mom, and he doesn't mean to hover. She says it's great he's here. Emma cries through the monitor, and Robin lies she just woke up. He goes to finally give Emma some affection.
GH: Raynor continues to ask Spinelli to hack into some metal tubes. Oh, nevermind, Raynor wanted him to hack into the ventillation system to turn it off. Because going to the off switch would take so long, I guess? Raynor explains it's an air born toxin and it can get on your hair or clothes and kill you. Sam looks like she swallowed a bug (because of course Sam just had to find Spinelli so she could randomly take the phone from him to randomly be involved with the FBI who randomly is counting on a mobster and a geek to solve this impossibly dangerous crisis...also, by FBI, I mean one dude hanging out in the interrogation room of the local police department. This plot reminds me of a fine Swiss cheese).
Tiny Room for a Crappy Benefit Because Carly Didn't Really Care About Michael All That Much: Jason explains there is a toxin. I don't understand why people understand the word "air born" one minute, but then don't the next? Why does Jason not understand that "air" can go under doors? Everyone wants to leave the Crappy Benefit, but they can't because there is air in the room, but not outside the room? Or maybe it's because someone finally figured out that because Kate has been exposed, Jason and Sam shouldn't just hang out around her without hazmat suits?
OR Room: See, now Patrick DOES understand about air born b/c he's in a haz mat suit. But he just stands around breathing and looking at stuff. He's probably wishing the CDC had been invented.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Oh, it's not Dante. It's Ethan. He's from Australia. He very aggravatingly does this annoying thing with a napkin...like he's bouncing it. Luke says the drink is correct, but it's bright blue, so I can't fathom that it's tasty. He orders an Androgynous Apollo, and what in the hell are they talking about? blah blah they joke about the West coast version having sushi in it. I hate stupid made up drinks. Vomit, the Androgynous Apollo looks like bourbon with olives in it. I wuld kill myself before drinking that. Ethan asks who Luke is, and Luke tells him,but smiles that Ethan already knew that. So, is Ethan a Scorpio or a Jacks?
Emma's Palace: Robin starts to tell Mac her concern about her problems. She says she was supposed to go to a Benefit. She asks Mac to stay with Emma so she can go. In a blizzard, mind you!
GH: Nik and Loo loo show up and Nik oddly says that they haven't heard anything about the Plow Pox. Sam explains how blah blah Bragg was in a car accident and brought bio toxins in vials in his body. Sam says it's a weapons grade poison and two people have already died. Nik asks if it's been contained. Sam says it got into the ducts. For some reason she doesn't add "oh, and I'm totally covered in it" Nik and Loo realize that they know people in the room that is bizarrely linked to an OR by a vent. I mean, let's just pretend there isn't Plow Pox. Wouldn't it be VERY dangerous to the OR patient if someone in the board room had a cold and sneezed?
Benefit Room: So now the genius plan is to open the door really quickly and shove Kate out and then close the door really quick. Sonny cleverly draws what appears to be a black tunnel on the wall next to the door, so the toxin thinks THAT is the way out. Meep Meep! Wheels laughs that they are all going to die with the people they hate.
OR: oh, so in a remarkably stupid move, Patrick is taking the remaining spheres of Plow Pox out of Bragg. Aren't they pretty well contained in his body? It would only be a problem if he dropped one or cut into one, I would think. but then, I idiotically also adhere to the laws of physics, so what do I know?
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Ethan says he's never heard of Luke and asks if he's a local celebrity. Luke says he just owns a bar. Luke is getting loopy from all the stupid fancy drinks Ethan has made him, so he finally orders a scotch, neat. Ethan seems to know that the HS is only open sporadically. Luke says work should be fun, so he opens when he feels like it. Luke says Ethan can't be a card shark (or is it sharp?) and says only he fleeces his flock. Then he starts to get sleepy, while Ethan wipes down the bar.
Emma's Palace: Mac reasonably doesn't want his neice to go gallavanting about in a blizzard. Also, why would they not have canceled the benefit to avoid people DYING on the way there? Mac agrees, but he gets a call from the station.
GH Lobby: Patrick has met up with Sam and Spinelli and The Phone and tells Raynor he got the spheres out. I don't understand any of this? Why did he take the spheres out but have nowhere to put them? Raynor says the FBI will take over. Well, GET ON IT, Dude, geeze. Patrick says that Raynor better neutralize the toxin b/c it took out an entire OR in seconds.
Benefit: Trevor starts to lose his mind and screams at the doorway to be let out. Carly tells him to get a grip. Sonny yells at Claud for saying Kate was pretending to be sick. Claud laughs that she's a b.itch.
Jason calls Carly to say they are doing the best they can.
Wheels says the toxin is a paralytic, and he can tell you just how it will make you feel. Trevor stands by the door, gasping for breath. Claud watches with a smile on her face. Carly looks disgusted. Suddenly Trevor collapses and Carly calls for help.
GH Hall: Nik finds Jason and says Nadine is in the boardroom and wants to get her out. Jason explains that they already tried the old fake train track tunnel trick on the toxin, so there's no way to safely open the door again. Or, actually AT ALL, but whatever. or actually, it's just a door with a gap between the door and the frame, but what really matters is Nik panicks and tries to open the door, and Jaosn stops hiim and Nik sadly says he was chasing a dream earlier and left Nadine there. I keep wishing sharks would show up and eat everyone. That would be cool. They could be air born sharks.
GH Lobby: Sam yammers about something because while she was in law school she learned about disease containment, I guess? I don't know. This show is what would happen if Passions and a cruise ship on Days of Our Lives had a baby.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Luke is drunk, or pretending to be and says he doesn't believvvvvvve in coincidences and that Ethan has never heard of him after being here for 48 hours. Luke has a point b/c being in Port Charles for 48 hours, I expect Ethan to know it's Emily's birthday. Luke warns Ethan not to get caught up in people's agendas. He yawns and says he has to learn how to see opportunities. LUke lays his head down on the table saying you have to answer when Opportunity knocks. Luke lays his head down with his hand clutching his gun though. Ethan says his sentiments exactly and smiles.
Emma's Palace: Mac has to leave b/c there is an incident, but Raynor wouldn't give him details, but there may be casualties. Robin and her Not Fooling Anyone pony tails prepars to hunker down for another night of ignoring her baby.
GH Hall: Jason wonders if Nik means Emily. Nik says he's not hallucinating, he saw a woman who looked like Emily. Jason says Nik has to get it together b/c it's all going to get a lot worse.
Benefit Room: So they open both doors for about 4 hours as Trevor gets sloooooowwwwwllllllllllyyyyyyy wheeled out, and then Ric holds the door open for another 3 hours watching him being wheeled away. They have put up a plastic curtain, l ike the kind that leads behind the deli counter in a supermarket, so obviously air born toxins can't get past that!
Then hilariously everyone starts having "private conversation" even though this room is smaller than any of their closets. Carly and Sonny, of course, find solace in each other's arms.
GH Lobby: Piph yells at Patrick and Sam about what is going on, and Sam says "I think we should close the OR" oh for fuck's sake. They haven't done that yet? lmao. Is some poor schmoe having his appendectomy in Plow Pox right now? Raynor calls, but somehow this time he calls on a GH line instead of The Phone. Patrick explains about how the OR team died, or is in ICU (thus infecting everyone that goes in or out of the ICU) and then Raynor demands that they quarantine the hospital. and by that, I can only assume he means TWO HOURS AGO when this became an issue, right? Like when he called Patrick to say "watch out for Bragg" he MUST have said, "and quarantine the hospital!" But then for some reason Patrick turns back to Jason, who raises his eyebrows, as if he was able to hear the quarantine order over the phone that he's not talking on. I hate everything about this episode.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Ethan gently takes the gun from Luke and takes out the bullets. Of COURSE Ethan is the kind of doosh who wears his wallet on a bike chain. Ethan goes behind the bar and picks up the bricks of cash. But of course Luke was pretending to be passed out and has the gun again and tells Ethan they are back where they started.
GH: Patrick makes an announcement that the hospital is under quarantine. He blathers they are doing everything. Meanwhile, the Plow Pox spheres are sitting in a metal bowl, completely unguarded, in the OR. and some dude in a hazmat suit walks in and looks at them.
Benefit: For some bizarre reason, or....I guess I should say: Completely in keeping with the amount of realism on this show, Claud suddenly just HAS to tell Sonny who shot Kate. But she collapses just at that moment. Maybe there is no Plow Pox. Maybe it's just Sonny's toxic personality that is killing everyone?
GH: Random Dude tries to leave, but Piph tells him he can't. And then Jason and Sam stand at the doorway and stare out at the snow as Patrick says no one can leave. But until someone bothers to lock all the doors, I don't know how they plan to stop them? Unless it's by use of the moat, full of sharks, that has clearly sprung up overnight around the hospital.
The End
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
GH Recap 1/29: We All Scream for Impeach Ice Cream...
OR: Again with the surgeons falling down, and Patrick screaming for them to leave. Liz gets thrown against the doors, but she slides down them. Oh, wait, no, this ain't Liz's first Sweeps, so she manages to get up again....aw, but then she falls again. heh. what was the point of that?
Credits.
Road: Jason drives the Mob Mobile (tm Spinelli) and tells Raynor by phone about how Bragg had an accident and Spinelli magically knew he was carrying poison, and Jason called Patrick, and Patrick started yelling it. He tells Raynor that Bragg is carrying the poison internally. Raynor reasonably doesn't like this news.
GH: Sam is there for no reason I can concieve of to hear Patrick tell her that Bragg is Plow Pox Ground Zero, and quarantine is next. Someone at abc.com called Sam "6 degrees of Sam McCall" and I wish I could remember who b/c it's hilarious and very accurate. Why is she ALWAYS there?
Emma's House: Robin is in a shiny, shiny red dress. Emma is sobbing through the monitor and Robin is trying to find someone from pediatrics to babysit. She can't get no satisfaction, so she throw the monitor at the red roses. Okay WE GET IT. blood red,,...everywhere. Robin picks up th emonitor and laments that now Emma's cries are only robotically muffled.
GH: Nik sees Chewbecca (tm Gracie from Soapnet) at the nurse's station. He tells someone he'll call them back, but then he stupidly runs away from the elevators, thinking he's following her. but if I have learned one thing in the past few days, it's if you want to find Chewbecca? Look no futher than the elevator bank!
Commercials
(I get the title really makes no sense b/c Blago was already impeached...but...well..."peach" is a flavor and "convict" is not...so...can ya just give me a little literary license? :D)
Roadside: Maxie has crashed into a snow bank. Aw, Maxie, welcome into the loving embrace of the Chicks Can NOT Drive sisterhood that this show loves to perpetuate. Random figure shows up and saves her.
Metrocourt: Wheels and Ric amusingly and hotly, accordingly, talk about how much Claud knows. She knows he's a Feets, and she thinks he shot Kate, and she has a crazy idea about The Farcockteh, or as I call the plan to make Jason whine, and Sonny kill him, and thus everyone else kill Jason.
Benefit: I would be so honored to have Edward flirt with me. Nik shows up, and Nadine asks where he was, but he acts way more defensive than her simple question warrants and sputters he was doing business. She manages to not ask what he's yammering about and says that it's not a big deal. Aw, it's so lame that Nadine is going to revert back to delightful just before they kill her. or make her leave town...whatever. I hate Emily is what I'm saying!
GH: Kate and Olivia meet. Olivia tries to stop Kate from provoking a fight with Carly or anyone tonight, of all nights. Olivia is right, but Kate now knows about Jerry Probst, so she's right too.
Phone Call GH to Cafe Interrogate: Patrick and Raynor talk about the Plow Pox and how it's air born and um....are you ...splutter. vomit. um. So, deep breath. So now Guza would have me know that a known air born pathogen was loose in the country, and their plan to solve it was to bribe a mobster? I've watched a lot of really stupid seasons of 24, but this? Is so much more stupider. and I'm including "Kim gets attacked by a cougar, but Kevin Dillon saves her" sooooo dumb.
commercials
Random Cabin! Hi Random Cabin! It was Johnny who saved Maxie! Hi, suck on this, looloo! Oh, my bad, it's a Random Radio Station? lool....no, sorry, it's a Random Mechanic's Shop. Maxie asks how he found her. He says she almost hit him.
Nurse's Station: Piph and Spin bicker. Piph says that Jason thinks and FBI guy will call her. Spin says they should evacuate,a nd she reasonably yells "into a blizzard?" and the she yells at him to leave.
GH Hall: Olivia and Kate bicker. Kate won't bother to tell Olivia what is really going on, which is her beeswax, but when Olivia reasonably says tonight is about a little boy and not Kate and Sonny. heh. But then Kate says that Olivia hates Sonny and asks like that is remotely the point. Then Kate does hilariously asks "why are you still in Port Charles?" heh. Love me some Olivia, but it's a great question. Kate decides to be a total b-word to her cousin, who stayed by her side while she recovered from a gun shot wound, and it's not acceptable to me. Kate learned something new, but she doesn't have the right to lambast Olivia like this. Olivia tearfully says she watched Sonny cold heartedly put 4 bullets into Krapov. She says he doesn't need protecting from Kate or anyone. Kate gets tearful and says she thinks she is the reason Olivia stayed. Olivia says Kate thinks she's the center of the universe. Kate clarifies that she means Dante and tells Olivia her secret is safe tonight....
suddenly Looloo clomps up and apologizes, and, folks, if looks could kill? Looloo would fit in the dust bin, with the looks of hate Olivia and Kate shoot her way. lol! That was very satisfying.
Benefit: Edward and Tracy grouse about how lil Michael has to live at Whole Foods now.
Meanwhile Claud and Sonny talk. Claud wants to reveal something about Wheels, but worries she coudl ruin her life.
Wheels rolls in at this point. Tracy and Edward give each other a look and go for a drink.
Nadine reminds me that she should end up in a volcano and starts yammering about stupid stuff. Nik finally has to shut her up. I assume chewbecca walks in at this point.
Emma's House: Robin cleans up the broken glass and tries to ignore Emma's cries. But then Emma stops crying. This makes Robin look up in concern, but then she goes back to cleaning. She tells the floor "you're okay. babies cry and fall asleep. mothers know that."
GH: Patrick has donned a Hax Mat suit and goes into the ER. Oh, good, I'm glad that he is safe, but alas, by opening the door, he released the air born toxins to...THE AIR.
and then in a giant bit of super stupidness, Liz gets put on a gurney, but then she gets wheeled by Jason and Sam....who are Haz Mat suitless....sooo.....um....they are both dead now too. Or, wait, maybe they used their righteous indignation to ward off the toxins! Yes, that makes sense.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Man, the economy is REALLY SUCKING now that people are not only abandoning fully stocked cabins, but also FULLY STOCKED auto garages. lol. hunker down, folks, even Port Charles is having a recession! Maxie and John bicker a bit, but then Maxie explains about Winnie the traitor and how she tattled on Spin, but Winspin are still friends. John accuses her of being jealous and fleeing. Maxie lets John know she knows that he lied to Loo about his nonjob.
GH; Variously equipped hazmat people try to save the OR people.
Benefit: Nadine asks who Chewbecca is. Nik asks if Nadine sees her too. Nadine says "you mean beret head? of course." Nik goes to talk to her. But then the creepiest weirdo thing happens, and it turns out that Chewbecca already has a ChewConnoh, b/c Nik accosts a woman who looks nothing like Emily. He apologizes.
Benefit: Carly challenges Wheels to write a big check. Heh, I've never thought about the Carly Factor when the truth of Michael's shooting comes out. God be with you, Wheels.
GH Hall: Olivia wipes way her stink eye and apologizes to Loo. Kate takes off.
GH: Always There Sam asks Jason how she can help. Jason gets a call from Raynor and briefs him. Again, they bring out totally infected people, this time Monica. Since Jason and Sam are already dead, I don't care, but Jason is visibly saddened to see his mother so sick. Aw, that's kind of sweet. Always There Sam takes the phone and for some reason Raynor knows that Everyone has to talk to Sam if Sam shows up, so he takes her briefing. Jason stares sadly at him mom.
Emma's: Robin has finally found a way to check on Emma. She sadly says Emma is so beautiful, and she doesn't deserve such a beautiful baby. Emma's eyes are open, but she's listless. Robin instinctively reaches out to touch her, but then she pulls back her hand and stares in alarm at her baby.
Commercials
yay, nathan Fillion has a new show!
Benefit: Is Claud a recovering alcoholic? because she never drinks. Wheels and Sonny bicker. He grotesquely offers up to the room what he thinks his daughter sex screams are like. Ric hilariously suggests some boundaries. WORD, RIC! love Wheels, but I need a Silkwood shower after that.
Carly keeps doing stuff but it's a busy show, so I really don't know what it is.
OR: a few Red Shirts are pronounced dead. Patrick drags Shawn D out of the or. FINALLY someone put up some srot of haz mat barrier, but doctors keep taking off their haz mat suits to treat the patients. Um, not that this will ever be a thing, but y'all DO know that "air born" means "if there is AIR, the toxin is BORN" RIGHT? Just consider it a Mad PSA....WEAR YOUR HAZ MAT suits when people have air born toxins on them!
Abandoned Garage: Maxie loves to talk about Luke and Laura's love story and how Looloo's brain is a mess b/c of it. But she's not being mean b/c she has the same issues. John says it sounds like Maxie has given it a lot of thought, and she snots that she doesn't lie awake thinking about it, but clearly she does b/c she has parents of the sort who rocketed a song up the pop charts in the real world after falling in love as well in this town.
Benefit: nik asks Loo to help him determine if he's crazy again by trying to figure out why he thought he saw Emily, when he really only saw Chewconnoh.
Man, a lot is going on today, folks.
GH: Jason and Spin try to figure out stuff. Patrick shows up to say something about there were Four something or others that have Plow Pox, but Bragg only lost One something or other. Jason asks about the other Four. (so I don't know if Patrick originally said 5, or if Jason is bad at math) I do know that Spinelli is now going to die b/c he's been around Jason and Sam who've been around the Plow Pox.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Johnny randomly finds some beer outside. So they drink it. I've never been that young. Maxie tells John that she can tell him her secrets b/c the other day Jason told spinelli...but then she stops herself. They stare at each other comically, and she says "see, you can trust me" heh. He says maybe not right now with the confiding, but they toast to each other.
GH: Loo is worried that Nik is seeing Tumorly again. He crazily says he saw her face as clear as he just saw Loo's, but he accosted the wrong woman. Loo says it was a case of mistaken identity. Loo decides that this is mostly about her and says she can't handle it if he's seeing dead people again. Oh, thanks, Loo, no, don't worry, nothing is wrong...as long as YOU are comfortable! Nik says it's nothing and hugs her.
Cafe Interrogate: Raynor yells at someone about the Plow Pox. Jason calls him and hands the phone to Raynor. Okay. so I was wrong, there were 5 Spheres, whatever those are, so there are 4 left. Spinelli interrupts to say that the duct from the OR leads to the board room. of COURSE it does. Why wouldn't people design multi story buildings with ducts that randomly lead to rooms on other floors? It's so cost effective and logical!
GH Hall: Kate finally finds Sonny, but she's having breathing problems and collapses.
So, not only is the Plow Pox boring to watch, it also takes a boringly stupid and illogical course through the human immune system
the end
Credits.
Road: Jason drives the Mob Mobile (tm Spinelli) and tells Raynor by phone about how Bragg had an accident and Spinelli magically knew he was carrying poison, and Jason called Patrick, and Patrick started yelling it. He tells Raynor that Bragg is carrying the poison internally. Raynor reasonably doesn't like this news.
GH: Sam is there for no reason I can concieve of to hear Patrick tell her that Bragg is Plow Pox Ground Zero, and quarantine is next. Someone at abc.com called Sam "6 degrees of Sam McCall" and I wish I could remember who b/c it's hilarious and very accurate. Why is she ALWAYS there?
Emma's House: Robin is in a shiny, shiny red dress. Emma is sobbing through the monitor and Robin is trying to find someone from pediatrics to babysit. She can't get no satisfaction, so she throw the monitor at the red roses. Okay WE GET IT. blood red,,...everywhere. Robin picks up th emonitor and laments that now Emma's cries are only robotically muffled.
GH: Nik sees Chewbecca (tm Gracie from Soapnet) at the nurse's station. He tells someone he'll call them back, but then he stupidly runs away from the elevators, thinking he's following her. but if I have learned one thing in the past few days, it's if you want to find Chewbecca? Look no futher than the elevator bank!
Commercials
(I get the title really makes no sense b/c Blago was already impeached...but...well..."peach" is a flavor and "convict" is not...so...can ya just give me a little literary license? :D)
Roadside: Maxie has crashed into a snow bank. Aw, Maxie, welcome into the loving embrace of the Chicks Can NOT Drive sisterhood that this show loves to perpetuate. Random figure shows up and saves her.
Metrocourt: Wheels and Ric amusingly and hotly, accordingly, talk about how much Claud knows. She knows he's a Feets, and she thinks he shot Kate, and she has a crazy idea about The Farcockteh, or as I call the plan to make Jason whine, and Sonny kill him, and thus everyone else kill Jason.
Benefit: I would be so honored to have Edward flirt with me. Nik shows up, and Nadine asks where he was, but he acts way more defensive than her simple question warrants and sputters he was doing business. She manages to not ask what he's yammering about and says that it's not a big deal. Aw, it's so lame that Nadine is going to revert back to delightful just before they kill her. or make her leave town...whatever. I hate Emily is what I'm saying!
GH: Kate and Olivia meet. Olivia tries to stop Kate from provoking a fight with Carly or anyone tonight, of all nights. Olivia is right, but Kate now knows about Jerry Probst, so she's right too.
Phone Call GH to Cafe Interrogate: Patrick and Raynor talk about the Plow Pox and how it's air born and um....are you ...splutter. vomit. um. So, deep breath. So now Guza would have me know that a known air born pathogen was loose in the country, and their plan to solve it was to bribe a mobster? I've watched a lot of really stupid seasons of 24, but this? Is so much more stupider. and I'm including "Kim gets attacked by a cougar, but Kevin Dillon saves her" sooooo dumb.
commercials
Random Cabin! Hi Random Cabin! It was Johnny who saved Maxie! Hi, suck on this, looloo! Oh, my bad, it's a Random Radio Station? lool....no, sorry, it's a Random Mechanic's Shop. Maxie asks how he found her. He says she almost hit him.
Nurse's Station: Piph and Spin bicker. Piph says that Jason thinks and FBI guy will call her. Spin says they should evacuate,a nd she reasonably yells "into a blizzard?" and the she yells at him to leave.
GH Hall: Olivia and Kate bicker. Kate won't bother to tell Olivia what is really going on, which is her beeswax, but when Olivia reasonably says tonight is about a little boy and not Kate and Sonny. heh. But then Kate says that Olivia hates Sonny and asks like that is remotely the point. Then Kate does hilariously asks "why are you still in Port Charles?" heh. Love me some Olivia, but it's a great question. Kate decides to be a total b-word to her cousin, who stayed by her side while she recovered from a gun shot wound, and it's not acceptable to me. Kate learned something new, but she doesn't have the right to lambast Olivia like this. Olivia tearfully says she watched Sonny cold heartedly put 4 bullets into Krapov. She says he doesn't need protecting from Kate or anyone. Kate gets tearful and says she thinks she is the reason Olivia stayed. Olivia says Kate thinks she's the center of the universe. Kate clarifies that she means Dante and tells Olivia her secret is safe tonight....
suddenly Looloo clomps up and apologizes, and, folks, if looks could kill? Looloo would fit in the dust bin, with the looks of hate Olivia and Kate shoot her way. lol! That was very satisfying.
Benefit: Edward and Tracy grouse about how lil Michael has to live at Whole Foods now.
Meanwhile Claud and Sonny talk. Claud wants to reveal something about Wheels, but worries she coudl ruin her life.
Wheels rolls in at this point. Tracy and Edward give each other a look and go for a drink.
Nadine reminds me that she should end up in a volcano and starts yammering about stupid stuff. Nik finally has to shut her up. I assume chewbecca walks in at this point.
Emma's House: Robin cleans up the broken glass and tries to ignore Emma's cries. But then Emma stops crying. This makes Robin look up in concern, but then she goes back to cleaning. She tells the floor "you're okay. babies cry and fall asleep. mothers know that."
GH: Patrick has donned a Hax Mat suit and goes into the ER. Oh, good, I'm glad that he is safe, but alas, by opening the door, he released the air born toxins to...THE AIR.
and then in a giant bit of super stupidness, Liz gets put on a gurney, but then she gets wheeled by Jason and Sam....who are Haz Mat suitless....sooo.....um....they are both dead now too. Or, wait, maybe they used their righteous indignation to ward off the toxins! Yes, that makes sense.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Man, the economy is REALLY SUCKING now that people are not only abandoning fully stocked cabins, but also FULLY STOCKED auto garages. lol. hunker down, folks, even Port Charles is having a recession! Maxie and John bicker a bit, but then Maxie explains about Winnie the traitor and how she tattled on Spin, but Winspin are still friends. John accuses her of being jealous and fleeing. Maxie lets John know she knows that he lied to Loo about his nonjob.
GH; Variously equipped hazmat people try to save the OR people.
Benefit: Nadine asks who Chewbecca is. Nik asks if Nadine sees her too. Nadine says "you mean beret head? of course." Nik goes to talk to her. But then the creepiest weirdo thing happens, and it turns out that Chewbecca already has a ChewConnoh, b/c Nik accosts a woman who looks nothing like Emily. He apologizes.
Benefit: Carly challenges Wheels to write a big check. Heh, I've never thought about the Carly Factor when the truth of Michael's shooting comes out. God be with you, Wheels.
GH Hall: Olivia wipes way her stink eye and apologizes to Loo. Kate takes off.
GH: Always There Sam asks Jason how she can help. Jason gets a call from Raynor and briefs him. Again, they bring out totally infected people, this time Monica. Since Jason and Sam are already dead, I don't care, but Jason is visibly saddened to see his mother so sick. Aw, that's kind of sweet. Always There Sam takes the phone and for some reason Raynor knows that Everyone has to talk to Sam if Sam shows up, so he takes her briefing. Jason stares sadly at him mom.
Emma's: Robin has finally found a way to check on Emma. She sadly says Emma is so beautiful, and she doesn't deserve such a beautiful baby. Emma's eyes are open, but she's listless. Robin instinctively reaches out to touch her, but then she pulls back her hand and stares in alarm at her baby.
Commercials
yay, nathan Fillion has a new show!
Benefit: Is Claud a recovering alcoholic? because she never drinks. Wheels and Sonny bicker. He grotesquely offers up to the room what he thinks his daughter sex screams are like. Ric hilariously suggests some boundaries. WORD, RIC! love Wheels, but I need a Silkwood shower after that.
Carly keeps doing stuff but it's a busy show, so I really don't know what it is.
OR: a few Red Shirts are pronounced dead. Patrick drags Shawn D out of the or. FINALLY someone put up some srot of haz mat barrier, but doctors keep taking off their haz mat suits to treat the patients. Um, not that this will ever be a thing, but y'all DO know that "air born" means "if there is AIR, the toxin is BORN" RIGHT? Just consider it a Mad PSA....WEAR YOUR HAZ MAT suits when people have air born toxins on them!
Abandoned Garage: Maxie loves to talk about Luke and Laura's love story and how Looloo's brain is a mess b/c of it. But she's not being mean b/c she has the same issues. John says it sounds like Maxie has given it a lot of thought, and she snots that she doesn't lie awake thinking about it, but clearly she does b/c she has parents of the sort who rocketed a song up the pop charts in the real world after falling in love as well in this town.
Benefit: nik asks Loo to help him determine if he's crazy again by trying to figure out why he thought he saw Emily, when he really only saw Chewconnoh.
Man, a lot is going on today, folks.
GH: Jason and Spin try to figure out stuff. Patrick shows up to say something about there were Four something or others that have Plow Pox, but Bragg only lost One something or other. Jason asks about the other Four. (so I don't know if Patrick originally said 5, or if Jason is bad at math) I do know that Spinelli is now going to die b/c he's been around Jason and Sam who've been around the Plow Pox.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Johnny randomly finds some beer outside. So they drink it. I've never been that young. Maxie tells John that she can tell him her secrets b/c the other day Jason told spinelli...but then she stops herself. They stare at each other comically, and she says "see, you can trust me" heh. He says maybe not right now with the confiding, but they toast to each other.
GH: Loo is worried that Nik is seeing Tumorly again. He crazily says he saw her face as clear as he just saw Loo's, but he accosted the wrong woman. Loo says it was a case of mistaken identity. Loo decides that this is mostly about her and says she can't handle it if he's seeing dead people again. Oh, thanks, Loo, no, don't worry, nothing is wrong...as long as YOU are comfortable! Nik says it's nothing and hugs her.
Cafe Interrogate: Raynor yells at someone about the Plow Pox. Jason calls him and hands the phone to Raynor. Okay. so I was wrong, there were 5 Spheres, whatever those are, so there are 4 left. Spinelli interrupts to say that the duct from the OR leads to the board room. of COURSE it does. Why wouldn't people design multi story buildings with ducts that randomly lead to rooms on other floors? It's so cost effective and logical!
GH Hall: Kate finally finds Sonny, but she's having breathing problems and collapses.
So, not only is the Plow Pox boring to watch, it also takes a boringly stupid and illogical course through the human immune system
the end
OLTL Recap 1/29: Look but Don't Touch
Courthouse: Nora sits in a red prison jumpsuit next to Tea and the judge sentences her to life for blowing another one of Todd's cases. Nora protests and a guard comes to take her, and then Tea and Todd sit at the judges bench and sip champagne. It is, of course a dream sequence, but it was a very, very good dream. Unless you are Nora, I guess.
Piney Cafe: Tea and Todd strategerize about what to do next to take over the world.
Exterior Set: Bo has a pizza and suggests Marty just stay home tonight, but Marty says she has to do something.
Hotel Room: Talia is guarding Lee in a hotel room, awaiting the trial. She assures Lee that Todd could never find this place. Talia, NEVER say never. Bo shows up with the pizza and asks Lee to come out of hiding. Lee cautiously stares at Marty.
St. Anne's: Jess tells Brody that she's leaving.
Credits
High school: Dillon gently distracts himself from Starr's sobbing hug. She apologizes for acting this way, and he says it's okay, but he needs to understand why she went to a teacher instead of a friend. Starr says she doesn't think Langston would understand how someone you love would try to hurt themselves, "like your mom, and my dad."
Piney Cafe: Tea has a flashdrive about Lee that says Lee has a long list of aliases. I wonder if she ever wore a hot pink wig when she was "undercover" like that dopey Syndey used to do. Cole shows up to mock them both for messing up his mom.
Hotel: Talia asks Bo to meet her outside and asks if it's kosher for Marty and Lee to meet. Bo lies that it is, but I can't fathom this is true.
Inside Marty immediately lays into Lee and says she's not here to dissuade her guilt The only way to do that is to bury Todd on the stand. Otherwise, Marty is going to bury her. pssst, Lee, Marty totally mind effed a man into killing himself a few weeks ago, so I highly recommend doing whatever she says!
Commercials
St. Anne's: Jess and Brody discuss her leaving. He wants to be as whole as possible before leaving, and he still clearly looks distressed by his conflicting memories of the boy in Iraq. She says she's worried b/c there are still pieces missing for her too.
Motel: Marty yells at Lee for never really taking care of her. Lee swears she really did care, even t hough she took money from Todd. Marty lambasts her and asks what Lee thought would happen, "I'd skip off to Neverland?" Her lips curl in tears and anger and she asks exactly how Lee expected it to end. Lee says even if she'd known Todd had raped her all those years ago, she still may not have been able to tell Marty because it was so clear they were in love now.
Piney Cafe: Tea cautions Cole that acting like this won't make his life better. He leans towards her and says "um, you are going to have to excuse me, I don't speak Bitch." omg. Todd says as any decent adult would that this is not acceptable. Cole just snears and asks if he offended the rapist. He leaves to score more pills.
Courtroom: Nora is not in orange anymore, and Bo shows up. He thinks she has a lot going on, what with raising their son who didn't get SORAS'd, thus she missed out on the 3 year boarding school break that most soap moms get. He asks how strong her case is, and she thinks it's workable.
High School: Starr says she treated Todd like he was dead to her, but she never dreamed he'd try to kill himself. Dillon interrupts and says it's not her fault. She says she saw him after he tried this, and she thinks he wants to make things right. She wonders if he deserves a 2nd chance...that maybe she shouldn't testify against him.
Commercials
St. Anne's: Brody tries to reassure Jess by saying they wouldn't send her home if she wasn't ready, and there are follow up visits. He quotes one of the nuns saying getting better is a lifelong process, and Jess jokes "she's a nun, everything for her is a lifelong process." and then they laugh, and it's lovely. He bids her a good night and leaves as Romantical Music swells sadly.
High School: Starr says that Todd loved her enough that he couldn't go through with kidnapping her baby, so how can she send him to prison. Geeze, Starr, someone needs to send her to a profoundly talented psychiatrist. Starr talks about her baby, and the time they were together when she was pregnant. She says she promised her baby that she'd never let Todd mess with her, and that testifying against Todd is Starr's way of saying her baby mattered. Wow, that's so sad. Dillon asks if anyone has said anything about his mother's involvement. She tells him Nora said it can't be brought up. He says knowing his mom didn't help Todd is like Starr knowing Todd didn't actually hurt the baby. She laments that she has to testify b/c people are counting on her, and her brothers love their dad. He says she has to stop beating herself up, so she can make the right choice.
Motel: Lee repeats that Marty was so in love with Todd. Marty disgustedly says "and what? Todd loved me back?" Lee sobs that Todd thought he did. Marty angrily says she trusted Lee and Todd with her life, and Lee stood by and watched while Todd violated her again. She she growls bitterly "again!" Lee sobs that she knows she's been wrong and has to live with that, and she's going to get on the stand and tell her story. She knows it won't make up for all she did to Marty, but she hopes it's a start. Marty growls that it better be enough to put Todd away for good. Then she rattles a chair, causing Lee to jump out of her skin, and leaves.
Piney Cafe: Douchehatted Drug Dealer only has a few pills. Cole wants DDD's connection, but obviously he doesn't give that info out.
High School: Dillon tells Starr he'll be in the court room tomorrow.
John's Bar: McHairdo greets Marty. She tells him she saw Lee and says she's not okay. He asks if she wants to talk, and she seems conflicted, but then Wes shows up and breaks the spell.
High School: Dillon reads a letter from his mother explaining that she entered into a shameful agreement to help Todd kidnap Starr's baby. She writes that it was wrong, and she wants Dillon toknow in case it ever came to light. She writes that Todd learned that Dillon had stolen drugs from the hospital and b/c Dillon had just gotten his life back on track, she agreed to Todd's blackmail. But then the baby died, and she couldn't live with that. Dillon and Violin Guy are very sad about this.
Courtroom: Bo cautions Nora to get a nap b/c she will need it. Bo leaves, and Nora rehearses her statements to the jury. She has a picture of the Family Manning and how happy they look, but a year made a big difference (meanwhile, Starr tears this same picture down off her locker) Nora talks about how Todd planned to get revenge against everyone who hurt him (we see John starely maudlinly at his bar) Nora continues that TOdd planned to make a new family, and also wreak havoc on two teenagers (we see Cole downing pills) He says he planned on kidnapping their baby, and one woman won't be here b/c she commited suicide (Dillon reads his mother's letter) but the other woman will be here (Talia goes back into Lee's motel room) Nora continues that his daughter will tell the jury what he was planning (Blair finds Starr at school and holds her) as Nora finishes "because Todd confessed it all to her"
Suddenly it is the day of the court proceedings, and Nora has just finished actually saying all of that to the jury. She shows the jury a photo of the baby we all call Chloe and that the baby died b/c Dr. Joplin was too busy dealing with Todd to notice a small medical problem that would not have been fatal if treated. Todd is lucky Nancy Grace doesn't know about this case!
The judge asks if the defense is ready, and Tea, dressed in black with a flouncy white collar purrs that she is. Look out, jury! When Tea purrs, it will lull you into doing her bidding! Vaya con Dios, y'all!
Commercials
Courtroom: Tea begins her opening remarks. She says Todd's history is in the past and over. He's not the man the DA's office has claimed he is. He's incapable of those crimes. She calls the charges flimsy and that they are trumped up to exact revenge and that Nora is the opposite of Perry Mason in Todd's regard. (I paraphrase) Tea says she will show the witness's testimony are lies. (is lies?)
Motel: Why would Lee still be in her motel room? Guard Guy brings her lunch and the paper, but for some reason Guard Guy didn't bother to notice that the headline is a LAMBASTING of Lee, calling her Lee KaChing Halpern. I love The Sun. I wish I had one in my town.
Courtroom: Tea basically repeats that this case is a personal vendetta on Nora's part. Judge calls recess. Tea whispers to Todd that the case is about managed expectations, and he smirks "as long as you don't manage my kid away"
Wes tells Marty he has to go, and Marty accurse John of doing that. heh. Dillon winks at Starr that it's going to be okay. Nora angrily tosses The Sun at Tea. She tells the judge that this was a blatant attempt to use the tabloid against a witness, and she whines a bit about it. It was a dirty trick...But SERIOUSLY Nora, how have you not ALREADY had an injunction to stop Todd and The Sun from doing this very thing? Worse lawyer ever.
Commercials
Courthouse: Judge tells Nora to blow it out her ear. Nora asks for the jury to be sequestered, and he agrees. She calls Antonio to the stand.
Motel: Talia tries to calm Lee, but she explains that she's swindled a lot of people, and now they might all come after her. Well, maybe don't be a dirt bag swindler in the next life, Red Shirt!
Courtroom: Antonio and Nora have a scene which is basically like serving me brussel sprouts and monkey brain for dinner, so I'm going to assume that Antonio tries to be helpful, and Nora is smug. Something about Antonio seeing baby stuff in Todd's home.
Tea gets back to purring, so I can pay attention again. She, of course, rips a giant hole in Antonio's smug testimony. She has a tax return or something that shows Todd was going to give a truckload of stuff to orphans. Antonio smugly asks when Todd signed this, and Tea indulges him by saying it doesn't matter to the orphans. I need an Evil Tea in my life to get in people's faces like that.
St. Anne's: Jess and Brody continue their flirty (in a healthy way) goodbye. She tells him to call him when he's out, so they can breath non crazy air together. He says he looks forward to it. Me too!
Courtroom: Nora calls Starr to the stand.
Commercials
Switchback between Courtroom and Motel Room:
Lee and Starr are both having second thoughts....because the Awesome Evil that is Tea's Jedi Mind Tricks is pervading the air.
Nora gently prods Starr to testify like they planned, but Starr is clearly having a struggle with this.
Meanwhile, Talia tries to assure Lee that she's under police protection, and she just has to be cool like Fonzie and patient. But Lee smashes Talia over the head and says she can't take that chance.
Other meanwhile: Nora is doing an admirable job of stalling to figure out what is up with Starr's obvious change of heart without getting Tea's ire up and objecting. She dances around a bit but finally asks bluntly if Todd ever said he planned to kidnap her baby. But Nora must have known the show is almost over...because it is...so now we have to wait. (for the obvious conclusion that Todd gets away with this too)
the end.
Piney Cafe: Tea and Todd strategerize about what to do next to take over the world.
Exterior Set: Bo has a pizza and suggests Marty just stay home tonight, but Marty says she has to do something.
Hotel Room: Talia is guarding Lee in a hotel room, awaiting the trial. She assures Lee that Todd could never find this place. Talia, NEVER say never. Bo shows up with the pizza and asks Lee to come out of hiding. Lee cautiously stares at Marty.
St. Anne's: Jess tells Brody that she's leaving.
Credits
High school: Dillon gently distracts himself from Starr's sobbing hug. She apologizes for acting this way, and he says it's okay, but he needs to understand why she went to a teacher instead of a friend. Starr says she doesn't think Langston would understand how someone you love would try to hurt themselves, "like your mom, and my dad."
Piney Cafe: Tea has a flashdrive about Lee that says Lee has a long list of aliases. I wonder if she ever wore a hot pink wig when she was "undercover" like that dopey Syndey used to do. Cole shows up to mock them both for messing up his mom.
Hotel: Talia asks Bo to meet her outside and asks if it's kosher for Marty and Lee to meet. Bo lies that it is, but I can't fathom this is true.
Inside Marty immediately lays into Lee and says she's not here to dissuade her guilt The only way to do that is to bury Todd on the stand. Otherwise, Marty is going to bury her. pssst, Lee, Marty totally mind effed a man into killing himself a few weeks ago, so I highly recommend doing whatever she says!
Commercials
St. Anne's: Jess and Brody discuss her leaving. He wants to be as whole as possible before leaving, and he still clearly looks distressed by his conflicting memories of the boy in Iraq. She says she's worried b/c there are still pieces missing for her too.
Motel: Marty yells at Lee for never really taking care of her. Lee swears she really did care, even t hough she took money from Todd. Marty lambasts her and asks what Lee thought would happen, "I'd skip off to Neverland?" Her lips curl in tears and anger and she asks exactly how Lee expected it to end. Lee says even if she'd known Todd had raped her all those years ago, she still may not have been able to tell Marty because it was so clear they were in love now.
Piney Cafe: Tea cautions Cole that acting like this won't make his life better. He leans towards her and says "um, you are going to have to excuse me, I don't speak Bitch." omg. Todd says as any decent adult would that this is not acceptable. Cole just snears and asks if he offended the rapist. He leaves to score more pills.
Courtroom: Nora is not in orange anymore, and Bo shows up. He thinks she has a lot going on, what with raising their son who didn't get SORAS'd, thus she missed out on the 3 year boarding school break that most soap moms get. He asks how strong her case is, and she thinks it's workable.
High School: Starr says she treated Todd like he was dead to her, but she never dreamed he'd try to kill himself. Dillon interrupts and says it's not her fault. She says she saw him after he tried this, and she thinks he wants to make things right. She wonders if he deserves a 2nd chance...that maybe she shouldn't testify against him.
Commercials
St. Anne's: Brody tries to reassure Jess by saying they wouldn't send her home if she wasn't ready, and there are follow up visits. He quotes one of the nuns saying getting better is a lifelong process, and Jess jokes "she's a nun, everything for her is a lifelong process." and then they laugh, and it's lovely. He bids her a good night and leaves as Romantical Music swells sadly.
High School: Starr says that Todd loved her enough that he couldn't go through with kidnapping her baby, so how can she send him to prison. Geeze, Starr, someone needs to send her to a profoundly talented psychiatrist. Starr talks about her baby, and the time they were together when she was pregnant. She says she promised her baby that she'd never let Todd mess with her, and that testifying against Todd is Starr's way of saying her baby mattered. Wow, that's so sad. Dillon asks if anyone has said anything about his mother's involvement. She tells him Nora said it can't be brought up. He says knowing his mom didn't help Todd is like Starr knowing Todd didn't actually hurt the baby. She laments that she has to testify b/c people are counting on her, and her brothers love their dad. He says she has to stop beating herself up, so she can make the right choice.
Motel: Lee repeats that Marty was so in love with Todd. Marty disgustedly says "and what? Todd loved me back?" Lee sobs that Todd thought he did. Marty angrily says she trusted Lee and Todd with her life, and Lee stood by and watched while Todd violated her again. She she growls bitterly "again!" Lee sobs that she knows she's been wrong and has to live with that, and she's going to get on the stand and tell her story. She knows it won't make up for all she did to Marty, but she hopes it's a start. Marty growls that it better be enough to put Todd away for good. Then she rattles a chair, causing Lee to jump out of her skin, and leaves.
Piney Cafe: Douchehatted Drug Dealer only has a few pills. Cole wants DDD's connection, but obviously he doesn't give that info out.
High School: Dillon tells Starr he'll be in the court room tomorrow.
John's Bar: McHairdo greets Marty. She tells him she saw Lee and says she's not okay. He asks if she wants to talk, and she seems conflicted, but then Wes shows up and breaks the spell.
High School: Dillon reads a letter from his mother explaining that she entered into a shameful agreement to help Todd kidnap Starr's baby. She writes that it was wrong, and she wants Dillon toknow in case it ever came to light. She writes that Todd learned that Dillon had stolen drugs from the hospital and b/c Dillon had just gotten his life back on track, she agreed to Todd's blackmail. But then the baby died, and she couldn't live with that. Dillon and Violin Guy are very sad about this.
Courtroom: Bo cautions Nora to get a nap b/c she will need it. Bo leaves, and Nora rehearses her statements to the jury. She has a picture of the Family Manning and how happy they look, but a year made a big difference (meanwhile, Starr tears this same picture down off her locker) Nora talks about how Todd planned to get revenge against everyone who hurt him (we see John starely maudlinly at his bar) Nora continues that TOdd planned to make a new family, and also wreak havoc on two teenagers (we see Cole downing pills) He says he planned on kidnapping their baby, and one woman won't be here b/c she commited suicide (Dillon reads his mother's letter) but the other woman will be here (Talia goes back into Lee's motel room) Nora continues that his daughter will tell the jury what he was planning (Blair finds Starr at school and holds her) as Nora finishes "because Todd confessed it all to her"
Suddenly it is the day of the court proceedings, and Nora has just finished actually saying all of that to the jury. She shows the jury a photo of the baby we all call Chloe and that the baby died b/c Dr. Joplin was too busy dealing with Todd to notice a small medical problem that would not have been fatal if treated. Todd is lucky Nancy Grace doesn't know about this case!
The judge asks if the defense is ready, and Tea, dressed in black with a flouncy white collar purrs that she is. Look out, jury! When Tea purrs, it will lull you into doing her bidding! Vaya con Dios, y'all!
Commercials
Courtroom: Tea begins her opening remarks. She says Todd's history is in the past and over. He's not the man the DA's office has claimed he is. He's incapable of those crimes. She calls the charges flimsy and that they are trumped up to exact revenge and that Nora is the opposite of Perry Mason in Todd's regard. (I paraphrase) Tea says she will show the witness's testimony are lies. (is lies?)
Motel: Why would Lee still be in her motel room? Guard Guy brings her lunch and the paper, but for some reason Guard Guy didn't bother to notice that the headline is a LAMBASTING of Lee, calling her Lee KaChing Halpern. I love The Sun. I wish I had one in my town.
Courtroom: Tea basically repeats that this case is a personal vendetta on Nora's part. Judge calls recess. Tea whispers to Todd that the case is about managed expectations, and he smirks "as long as you don't manage my kid away"
Wes tells Marty he has to go, and Marty accurse John of doing that. heh. Dillon winks at Starr that it's going to be okay. Nora angrily tosses The Sun at Tea. She tells the judge that this was a blatant attempt to use the tabloid against a witness, and she whines a bit about it. It was a dirty trick...But SERIOUSLY Nora, how have you not ALREADY had an injunction to stop Todd and The Sun from doing this very thing? Worse lawyer ever.
Commercials
Courthouse: Judge tells Nora to blow it out her ear. Nora asks for the jury to be sequestered, and he agrees. She calls Antonio to the stand.
Motel: Talia tries to calm Lee, but she explains that she's swindled a lot of people, and now they might all come after her. Well, maybe don't be a dirt bag swindler in the next life, Red Shirt!
Courtroom: Antonio and Nora have a scene which is basically like serving me brussel sprouts and monkey brain for dinner, so I'm going to assume that Antonio tries to be helpful, and Nora is smug. Something about Antonio seeing baby stuff in Todd's home.
Tea gets back to purring, so I can pay attention again. She, of course, rips a giant hole in Antonio's smug testimony. She has a tax return or something that shows Todd was going to give a truckload of stuff to orphans. Antonio smugly asks when Todd signed this, and Tea indulges him by saying it doesn't matter to the orphans. I need an Evil Tea in my life to get in people's faces like that.
St. Anne's: Jess and Brody continue their flirty (in a healthy way) goodbye. She tells him to call him when he's out, so they can breath non crazy air together. He says he looks forward to it. Me too!
Courtroom: Nora calls Starr to the stand.
Commercials
Switchback between Courtroom and Motel Room:
Lee and Starr are both having second thoughts....because the Awesome Evil that is Tea's Jedi Mind Tricks is pervading the air.
Nora gently prods Starr to testify like they planned, but Starr is clearly having a struggle with this.
Meanwhile, Talia tries to assure Lee that she's under police protection, and she just has to be cool like Fonzie and patient. But Lee smashes Talia over the head and says she can't take that chance.
Other meanwhile: Nora is doing an admirable job of stalling to figure out what is up with Starr's obvious change of heart without getting Tea's ire up and objecting. She dances around a bit but finally asks bluntly if Todd ever said he planned to kidnap her baby. But Nora must have known the show is almost over...because it is...so now we have to wait. (for the obvious conclusion that Todd gets away with this too)
the end.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
GH Recap 1/28: A Plow Pox on Both Yer Houses
Dark and Stormy Cafe Interrogate: Patrick continues not to say much of anything helpful about the impending Plow Pox. He says they didn't know how bad it was about to get. He couldn't stop thinking about Liz and her two little boys, and he should have been thinking about Robin and Emma. Well, maybe, Patrick. But Liz is totally sweet and pretty and unpacks a house in under 4 hours! Robin is grumpy about chocolate.
Sepia Tone Winnie gets all grumpy with Phone Guy as she tells Phone Guy that Spinellii also died along with Looloo, Carly, Sonny and whoever else she mentions at the beginning of each show. She says Phone Guy should make a list of heroes and put Spinelli at the top of the list.
Back to Color:
Jason's Penthouse: Jason calmly talks to someone about The Truck. I guess he thinks he found the person who bought The Cargo? Spinelli listens.
Credits
Q Crypt: Nik has made it to the crypt and leaves some roses by the door and says happy birthday to Emily and says he misses her. He scoffs that this is probably a shock to her. Um, no, Nik, she's not doing much of anything but rotting right about now. He stands there in the shivery, shivery cold on a night that's been described as a sweeps worthy snow storm and chats about board meetings and being reminded of her birthday. He sadly says they shared a home, and it hits him everyday he wakes up. The gargoyle in the bedroom that she teased him about all the time. He repeats that he misses her and fights back tears when he tells her he met someone funny, light and pure. For some reason he leaves out super annoying, which is odd, b/c knowing that might make Emily feel better. Nik sadly says "but she's not you" Aw, that is so Ross and Rachel of him to say.
Metrocourt: Looloo rushes in and says she has to talk to Carly, or she's cutting off all her hair and swearing off relationships forever. Fine by me! Carly annoyingly thinks this is a bad plan. Loo complains about Johnny for being exactly the same man he's been since the day she met him. She says he likes scaring people, but he gave up his money, so he's not scary. She asks Carly to guess what he's done now, and Carly says he's blaming it on Looloo. But then the Metrocourt caves in on them! yay! Oh, whoops, just my imagination.
Corinthaus: Because phones have not been invented, Kate walks over in the bone chilling snow storm to talk about donations to the Benefit. She doesn't know if she should go. She gets a bit weepy and says the night Michael was shot still haunts her. She says they never really came back from that moment, everythign was just a reaction to it. Sonny angrily says that whoever shot Michael cost him everything. He's wondered if someone else was involved besides Devlin. Claud eaveslurks from the top of the stairs as Sonny says that he'll deal with this piece of scum. Kate sadly asks what that will accomplish. Claud lets her presence be known.
GH; Shawn Douglas tells Patrick that he's distracted,and should go home to his wife and baby, what with the impending blizzard that everyone keeps going all over town in. Suddenly the patient starts having a seizure, or something, so the Brothers Drake jump into action.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason continues talking to phone guy about the suspect, which is basically the description of every single white guy I know. Jason just wants to give the info to Raynor and be done with it, but Spinelli says that there is a biotoxin on the loose, and doesn't that warrant further investigation. Yes, Spinny, it does, and the federal government has way more funding than you and Jason do.
GH: Sam is there for a bump on the head, and she and Liz chat politely:
Plow Pox Guy: He is very wobbly and says something about his symptoms. Shawn D assures him he'll be fine. Way to kill everyone by jinxing the town, Shawn!
Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud glares at Kate. Sonny tells her that for whatever reason she came, it was good to see her. Kate says it won't happen again and leaves, but first says that making anyone pay won't change anything. Sonny says it will b/c he will finally have justice. Yeah, Sonny, that's what she just said: that won't change anything. You'll still be creepy and miserable. Kate leaves to walk across the acres in a blizzard.
Metrocourt: Looloo continues not to work but does continue to complain about her boyfriend. Apparently someone told her that it's only puppies and gumdrops to have a relationship with a brooding, violent loser with no prospects.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor has driven to Jason's IN A BLIZZARD because phones don't exist to hear that a white male, 170 pounds is a suspect. Raynor is understandably angry that this is all Jason has learned. Jason yells that if he does anything else, he may as well paint a target on his back.
GH: Patrick asks Liz to scrub in for Plow Pox surgery. He examines Sam. I guess b/c she hit her head? Seems sort of like a waste of time to have a neurosurgeon examine a boo boo, but it gives Patrick a chance to be worried about his wife to the only person left in town he hasn't said anything to yet. Why would Sam even ask about Robin? don't they barely know each other? Doesn't she barely know Patrick for that matter? Or is she just practicing private eye skills?
Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud once again has been caught snooping, so Sonny asks her about it. She tries to be light and jokey and says she was bored, so she went to the PCPD to sign up to be a spy. heh. He says the blizzard is starting, so they should go to the Benefit.
Kate's Beige House: Kate watches Jerry Probst talk to Claud about her role in Michael's shooting.
GH: Patrick says it's taking Robin awhile to recover from her c-section and asks Sam about it. Sam gently says she was too busy mourning that her baby died to remember if the pain from surgery recovery took a long time. Patrick apologizes for bringing it up, a nd Sam says he's clearly worried about Robin, so it's fine.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor and Jason fight. Raynor demands that Jason get him a name for the hijacking or Spinelli will go to prison forever. Jason gives him a name of a Satan's Rider who blah blah omg this is so stupid. Raynor says that Jason still has to give info in Wheels, and keep the violence to a minimum. Jason made the crappiest deal ever for having to solve this hijacking and deal with the Z's, and all he gets is Spinelli? Lame. He should have asked for some pizza coupons. Or had Raynor buy some of his juice! Spinelli wants to do something stupid and dangerous.
Commercials
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli's plan is that the more intel Jason gives the feds, the more grateful they will be, so he wants to try to do their own research on the Plow Pox. Jason agrees to say there is a buyer for the poison, but he can't fly out b/c of the weather, so Spinelli decides he must have rented a car, and he's going to cross reference all the cars rented with driver's license photos.
Nik's Memory: Aw, Nik has a memory from back when he had a neck. That was such a better look for him. He remembers realizing he'd finally found love with Emily. (Gia's memory is all "hey!") Nadine shows up to knock Nik out of his memory, and he uneasily hugs her.
Kate's Beige House: Jerry Probst basically draws a map and provides pie charts and videotape of Claud shooting Michael. What's the point of stashing puzzle pieces all over the place if all the puzzle pieces ALSO contain the info that the big final piece supposedly contains? If anyone can stumble upon ANY of the dvd's and learn everythign, then ...uh....why hide more of the same? I hate Jerry Probst. Kate seems to still not know what all of this means.
Metrocourt: Edward awesomely tells Carly that it's too bad she didn't grow a conscience in time to help Michael. OH, burn, old man! Carly is very wounded. (but not as wounded as her son, so Shut Up, Carly's indignance)
GH: Sam tries to counsel Patrick. She says that Jason was there for her at the very worst time in her life, and knowing she had someone who loved her...if Patrick can do that for Robin, that's all she'll need. Patrick thanks her.
OR: Monica and Shawn D debate about starting surgery. Monica says she'll assist b/c he'll need another set of hands. Patrick shows up to take over, but Shawn D tells him to quit trying to steal his glory and to go home to his family. Patrick says the patient is all him.
Commercials
Metrocourt: As per usual when there's a crisis, Jax is leaving town. He has to go to Hong Kong. In a blizzard! He asks Olivia to explain all this to Carly. (because phones don't exist)
Kate finds loo and says she can have her job back if she'll go the Benefit and stand guard while Kate talks to Sonny.
GH: Edward asks if Michael has improved. Is this Benefit taking place in a stuffy GH meeting room? How lame. Nik finds Claud and reminds us all that he knows Claud was involved with Michael's shooting. He agrees to keep her secret but says remembering how vibrant Michael used to be makes it difficult. Edward flirts with Nadine. He loves willowy blonds, that one. Sonny and Carly maudlinly greet each other.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli has narrowed down a few people and says he'll see if they have criminal records. Jason doesn't want him to hack into a govt database. Spinelli learns that Earl Bragg, one of the suspects, had a car accident and is at GH.
GH: Patrick checks Bragg's x-rays. Piph gets a call that just happens to be about Bragg. Patrick grabs the phone and asks why the caller is calling about Bragg. Then he says "poison?" and then he either says "yeah, I know WHERE it is" or "Yeah, I know WHAT it is"
commercials
We've finally gotten the point of the show whereby Patrick warns Piph to call the OR and tell them not to operate.
Patrick frantically tells Piph to call the OR and tell Shawn D not to operate on that patient under any circumstances, then he sprints towards the elevators holding a file. We hear a ticking clock as Piph immediately picks up the phone and dials.
In the OR Monica announces the patient is minutes away from going into V tach and asks if the lab readings on the patient's blood are here yet. She's told they are on their way.
Patrick sprints to the elevator and hits the button. In the OR Shawn D asks if they are good and Liz tells him they are. Patrick stares up at the clock, which reads 7:00pm and then turns and sprints to the stairwell. (hopefully he doesn't end up in New Orleans!) Shawn D calls for a scalpel as Piph hangs up and tries to call the OR again. Shawn D makes the first incision, and we fade to Robin at home. She runs her hands through her hair in frustration as Emma cries from another room. Patrick continues running up the stairs at GH. Spinelli, at Jason's penthouse, hangs up his phone and starts to move for the door. In the OR, Monica and Shawn D continue as we see Patrick running.
Nurse's station, Nik is on the phone and glances over and sees a woman in a beret who looks like Emily. He does a double take. More shots from the OR and Patrick running. Monica asks Layla if the patient has at least a liter in, and she says she'll check. Someone runs up some steps in the snow, maybe Spinelli. Shawn D asks a nurse to really follow the suction. Kate walks down a hall and into Carly's line of sight, causing Carly's face to fall as she talks to Sonny. She leaves. Looloo takes off an earring and throws it down in what appears to be anger and storms off. Johnny lays what appears to be an unconscious Maxie down on the ground. Spinelli grabs his coat and rushes out the door. We hear Emma crying through the monitor again, and Robin slowly approaches the baby monitor and throws it across the room, knocking over a vase of red roses.
Patrick continues running up the stairs and is on the 10th floor. Jason drives erratically, and we hear his tires screech. Layla tells Monica the patient's blood is here, so she tells Layla to pour it in b/c he's going to need every drop. Kate approaches Sonny from behind, looking ominous and troubled. We see a red-nailed hand holding one of jerry's dvd's. Claud approaches Sonny and gingerly touches his arm.
Patrick has to fiercely open the 10th floor stairwell door. Shawn D says he thinks he's found the problem and says he's going in and asks for a scalpel. Patrick rushes across the 10th floor and runs into a nurse, knocking over her supply cart. He keeps rushing. Shawn d calls for head's up b/c they have a bleeder, and he asks for suction.
Nik stands and stares at the woman who looks like Emily. Shawn D says there is so much blood, he can't see anything.
Carly eyes Sonny wearily. Kate walks down a hall and holds her stomach, taking a deep breath. Shawn D continues to instruct the nurse doing the suction. He thinks he's found the bleeder, but then says something is wrong. They are all silent for a beat and then blood spurts onto his mask and face. Everyone gasps in the OR. Patrick makes it to the OR door and yells for them to stop. He stands at the window and yells at Shawn D to stop and get out of the room. Monica's gloves are bloody, and she looks faint as she adjusts her surgical mask and sinks to the ground in slow motion. We see a close up of Patrick's face, frantically watching the scene and yelling for everyone to stop. Liz slowly turns and also looks faint and begins to sink to the ground. What appears to be flames show up at the bottom of the screen, but I think that's just effect? We vaguely see the forms of the surgeons and nurse's falling to the ground, and someone appears to try to open the door. There is also the face of a man gasping for breathPatrick pounds on the glass and bellows "nooooo!"
Sepia Tone Winnie gets all grumpy with Phone Guy as she tells Phone Guy that Spinellii also died along with Looloo, Carly, Sonny and whoever else she mentions at the beginning of each show. She says Phone Guy should make a list of heroes and put Spinelli at the top of the list.
Back to Color:
Jason's Penthouse: Jason calmly talks to someone about The Truck. I guess he thinks he found the person who bought The Cargo? Spinelli listens.
Credits
Q Crypt: Nik has made it to the crypt and leaves some roses by the door and says happy birthday to Emily and says he misses her. He scoffs that this is probably a shock to her. Um, no, Nik, she's not doing much of anything but rotting right about now. He stands there in the shivery, shivery cold on a night that's been described as a sweeps worthy snow storm and chats about board meetings and being reminded of her birthday. He sadly says they shared a home, and it hits him everyday he wakes up. The gargoyle in the bedroom that she teased him about all the time. He repeats that he misses her and fights back tears when he tells her he met someone funny, light and pure. For some reason he leaves out super annoying, which is odd, b/c knowing that might make Emily feel better. Nik sadly says "but she's not you" Aw, that is so Ross and Rachel of him to say.
Metrocourt: Looloo rushes in and says she has to talk to Carly, or she's cutting off all her hair and swearing off relationships forever. Fine by me! Carly annoyingly thinks this is a bad plan. Loo complains about Johnny for being exactly the same man he's been since the day she met him. She says he likes scaring people, but he gave up his money, so he's not scary. She asks Carly to guess what he's done now, and Carly says he's blaming it on Looloo. But then the Metrocourt caves in on them! yay! Oh, whoops, just my imagination.
Corinthaus: Because phones have not been invented, Kate walks over in the bone chilling snow storm to talk about donations to the Benefit. She doesn't know if she should go. She gets a bit weepy and says the night Michael was shot still haunts her. She says they never really came back from that moment, everythign was just a reaction to it. Sonny angrily says that whoever shot Michael cost him everything. He's wondered if someone else was involved besides Devlin. Claud eaveslurks from the top of the stairs as Sonny says that he'll deal with this piece of scum. Kate sadly asks what that will accomplish. Claud lets her presence be known.
GH; Shawn Douglas tells Patrick that he's distracted,and should go home to his wife and baby, what with the impending blizzard that everyone keeps going all over town in. Suddenly the patient starts having a seizure, or something, so the Brothers Drake jump into action.
Jason's Penthouse: Jason continues talking to phone guy about the suspect, which is basically the description of every single white guy I know. Jason just wants to give the info to Raynor and be done with it, but Spinelli says that there is a biotoxin on the loose, and doesn't that warrant further investigation. Yes, Spinny, it does, and the federal government has way more funding than you and Jason do.
GH: Sam is there for a bump on the head, and she and Liz chat politely:
Plow Pox Guy: He is very wobbly and says something about his symptoms. Shawn D assures him he'll be fine. Way to kill everyone by jinxing the town, Shawn!
Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud glares at Kate. Sonny tells her that for whatever reason she came, it was good to see her. Kate says it won't happen again and leaves, but first says that making anyone pay won't change anything. Sonny says it will b/c he will finally have justice. Yeah, Sonny, that's what she just said: that won't change anything. You'll still be creepy and miserable. Kate leaves to walk across the acres in a blizzard.
Metrocourt: Looloo continues not to work but does continue to complain about her boyfriend. Apparently someone told her that it's only puppies and gumdrops to have a relationship with a brooding, violent loser with no prospects.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor has driven to Jason's IN A BLIZZARD because phones don't exist to hear that a white male, 170 pounds is a suspect. Raynor is understandably angry that this is all Jason has learned. Jason yells that if he does anything else, he may as well paint a target on his back.
GH: Patrick asks Liz to scrub in for Plow Pox surgery. He examines Sam. I guess b/c she hit her head? Seems sort of like a waste of time to have a neurosurgeon examine a boo boo, but it gives Patrick a chance to be worried about his wife to the only person left in town he hasn't said anything to yet. Why would Sam even ask about Robin? don't they barely know each other? Doesn't she barely know Patrick for that matter? Or is she just practicing private eye skills?
Commercials
Corinthaus: Claud once again has been caught snooping, so Sonny asks her about it. She tries to be light and jokey and says she was bored, so she went to the PCPD to sign up to be a spy. heh. He says the blizzard is starting, so they should go to the Benefit.
Kate's Beige House: Kate watches Jerry Probst talk to Claud about her role in Michael's shooting.
GH: Patrick says it's taking Robin awhile to recover from her c-section and asks Sam about it. Sam gently says she was too busy mourning that her baby died to remember if the pain from surgery recovery took a long time. Patrick apologizes for bringing it up, a nd Sam says he's clearly worried about Robin, so it's fine.
Jason's Penthouse: Raynor and Jason fight. Raynor demands that Jason get him a name for the hijacking or Spinelli will go to prison forever. Jason gives him a name of a Satan's Rider who blah blah omg this is so stupid. Raynor says that Jason still has to give info in Wheels, and keep the violence to a minimum. Jason made the crappiest deal ever for having to solve this hijacking and deal with the Z's, and all he gets is Spinelli? Lame. He should have asked for some pizza coupons. Or had Raynor buy some of his juice! Spinelli wants to do something stupid and dangerous.
Commercials
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli's plan is that the more intel Jason gives the feds, the more grateful they will be, so he wants to try to do their own research on the Plow Pox. Jason agrees to say there is a buyer for the poison, but he can't fly out b/c of the weather, so Spinelli decides he must have rented a car, and he's going to cross reference all the cars rented with driver's license photos.
Nik's Memory: Aw, Nik has a memory from back when he had a neck. That was such a better look for him. He remembers realizing he'd finally found love with Emily. (Gia's memory is all "hey!") Nadine shows up to knock Nik out of his memory, and he uneasily hugs her.
Kate's Beige House: Jerry Probst basically draws a map and provides pie charts and videotape of Claud shooting Michael. What's the point of stashing puzzle pieces all over the place if all the puzzle pieces ALSO contain the info that the big final piece supposedly contains? If anyone can stumble upon ANY of the dvd's and learn everythign, then ...uh....why hide more of the same? I hate Jerry Probst. Kate seems to still not know what all of this means.
Metrocourt: Edward awesomely tells Carly that it's too bad she didn't grow a conscience in time to help Michael. OH, burn, old man! Carly is very wounded. (but not as wounded as her son, so Shut Up, Carly's indignance)
GH: Sam tries to counsel Patrick. She says that Jason was there for her at the very worst time in her life, and knowing she had someone who loved her...if Patrick can do that for Robin, that's all she'll need. Patrick thanks her.
OR: Monica and Shawn D debate about starting surgery. Monica says she'll assist b/c he'll need another set of hands. Patrick shows up to take over, but Shawn D tells him to quit trying to steal his glory and to go home to his family. Patrick says the patient is all him.
Commercials
Metrocourt: As per usual when there's a crisis, Jax is leaving town. He has to go to Hong Kong. In a blizzard! He asks Olivia to explain all this to Carly. (because phones don't exist)
Kate finds loo and says she can have her job back if she'll go the Benefit and stand guard while Kate talks to Sonny.
GH: Edward asks if Michael has improved. Is this Benefit taking place in a stuffy GH meeting room? How lame. Nik finds Claud and reminds us all that he knows Claud was involved with Michael's shooting. He agrees to keep her secret but says remembering how vibrant Michael used to be makes it difficult. Edward flirts with Nadine. He loves willowy blonds, that one. Sonny and Carly maudlinly greet each other.
Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli has narrowed down a few people and says he'll see if they have criminal records. Jason doesn't want him to hack into a govt database. Spinelli learns that Earl Bragg, one of the suspects, had a car accident and is at GH.
GH: Patrick checks Bragg's x-rays. Piph gets a call that just happens to be about Bragg. Patrick grabs the phone and asks why the caller is calling about Bragg. Then he says "poison?" and then he either says "yeah, I know WHERE it is" or "Yeah, I know WHAT it is"
commercials
We've finally gotten the point of the show whereby Patrick warns Piph to call the OR and tell them not to operate.
Patrick frantically tells Piph to call the OR and tell Shawn D not to operate on that patient under any circumstances, then he sprints towards the elevators holding a file. We hear a ticking clock as Piph immediately picks up the phone and dials.
In the OR Monica announces the patient is minutes away from going into V tach and asks if the lab readings on the patient's blood are here yet. She's told they are on their way.
Patrick sprints to the elevator and hits the button. In the OR Shawn D asks if they are good and Liz tells him they are. Patrick stares up at the clock, which reads 7:00pm and then turns and sprints to the stairwell. (hopefully he doesn't end up in New Orleans!) Shawn D calls for a scalpel as Piph hangs up and tries to call the OR again. Shawn D makes the first incision, and we fade to Robin at home. She runs her hands through her hair in frustration as Emma cries from another room. Patrick continues running up the stairs at GH. Spinelli, at Jason's penthouse, hangs up his phone and starts to move for the door. In the OR, Monica and Shawn D continue as we see Patrick running.
Nurse's station, Nik is on the phone and glances over and sees a woman in a beret who looks like Emily. He does a double take. More shots from the OR and Patrick running. Monica asks Layla if the patient has at least a liter in, and she says she'll check. Someone runs up some steps in the snow, maybe Spinelli. Shawn D asks a nurse to really follow the suction. Kate walks down a hall and into Carly's line of sight, causing Carly's face to fall as she talks to Sonny. She leaves. Looloo takes off an earring and throws it down in what appears to be anger and storms off. Johnny lays what appears to be an unconscious Maxie down on the ground. Spinelli grabs his coat and rushes out the door. We hear Emma crying through the monitor again, and Robin slowly approaches the baby monitor and throws it across the room, knocking over a vase of red roses.
Patrick continues running up the stairs and is on the 10th floor. Jason drives erratically, and we hear his tires screech. Layla tells Monica the patient's blood is here, so she tells Layla to pour it in b/c he's going to need every drop. Kate approaches Sonny from behind, looking ominous and troubled. We see a red-nailed hand holding one of jerry's dvd's. Claud approaches Sonny and gingerly touches his arm.
Patrick has to fiercely open the 10th floor stairwell door. Shawn D says he thinks he's found the problem and says he's going in and asks for a scalpel. Patrick rushes across the 10th floor and runs into a nurse, knocking over her supply cart. He keeps rushing. Shawn d calls for head's up b/c they have a bleeder, and he asks for suction.
Nik stands and stares at the woman who looks like Emily. Shawn D says there is so much blood, he can't see anything.
Carly eyes Sonny wearily. Kate walks down a hall and holds her stomach, taking a deep breath. Shawn D continues to instruct the nurse doing the suction. He thinks he's found the bleeder, but then says something is wrong. They are all silent for a beat and then blood spurts onto his mask and face. Everyone gasps in the OR. Patrick makes it to the OR door and yells for them to stop. He stands at the window and yells at Shawn D to stop and get out of the room. Monica's gloves are bloody, and she looks faint as she adjusts her surgical mask and sinks to the ground in slow motion. We see a close up of Patrick's face, frantically watching the scene and yelling for everyone to stop. Liz slowly turns and also looks faint and begins to sink to the ground. What appears to be flames show up at the bottom of the screen, but I think that's just effect? We vaguely see the forms of the surgeons and nurse's falling to the ground, and someone appears to try to open the door. There is also the face of a man gasping for breathPatrick pounds on the glass and bellows "nooooo!"
OLTL Recap 1/28: Get Down and Dirty
Cole opens his bag of pills and remembers hearing John, or someone say Marty is shutting everyone out, including Cole, and is currently with some stranger in a hotel room. Sounds about right that Cole wants a magic pill to shut that out! Cole reconsiders taking the pill, and John asks what he's doing here.
Piney Cafe: Rex joins Dorian and David. Do people on a mission to nirvana eat a lot of Moons over Myhammy?
Piney Cafe: Blair and Todd bicker about his impending trial for kidnapping. Todd is sure Tea has it all covered.
Blair's House: Tea is breaking the news that Todd tried to kill himself on New Year's Eve. Tea caresses Starr's hair and says Todd didn't want her to know and feel responsible. Tea is so awesomely evil.
Credits
Blair's House: Tea purrs that Todd is very complicated and a lot is happening to him right now with Marty and maybe losing his kids. Starr asks why Tea said Todd doesn't want her, Starr to feel responsible. Tea says Todd felt guilty about what happened to Starr's baby. Starr cries that he SHOULD feel guilty. Tea blames Dr. Joplin for the baby's death, not Todd. Starr says now Dr. Joplin is dead. She stops and thinks and cries that Dr. Joplin killed herself and Todd tried to kill himself b/c of her and her baby. Tea says she never should have said anything.
Piney Cafe: Blair says that Dr. Joplin took Starr's baby, with the plan of giving the baby to Todd, and if she hadn't done all kinds of shenannigans with moving or hiding the baby, the baby may still be alive. Blair points out that Nurse Lee will be able to seal the deal, but Todd is sure that Lee has such poor character it won't matter. Blair scoffs and isn't so sure b/c she did know wht Todd's plan was.
Piney Cafe: David explains to Rex that Dorian is about to sign over her worldly goods to the Big Cloud Sillyhead Zen Shack, or something like that. Rex says it's like investing in your spiritual future. David says he's doing the same, but it's only symbolic b/c he's penniless. Dorian pretends to be choking and needing water, so David leaves to get some. Then Dorian angrily asks Rex what he's doing.
John's Bar: Cole says he has a free period at school. Yeah, I kind of thought those were for studying and not hanging out in bras. Cole tells John he's worried about Marty. Wes shows up and Cole angrily says he's the SOB who's been using his mom. and then be breaks a bottle.
Commercials
John's Bar: Wes says he understands Cole is upset, but he's not using anyone. Cole rails at Wes and says she's sick and playing house in a hotel room. Wes remains calm and explains that maybe Marty feels comfortable around him b/c they don't share a past that she can't remember. He says it's killing Marty to let everyone down and break everyone's heart all day. Cole flails his arms around and tells Wes not to talk about his mom.
Vicki's Incredibly Homey and Delightful Kitchen: Jared holds a baby. Is this Starr's baby? Natalie isn't sure if it's time to let Jessica and "her" baby spend time together. Vicki says the the doctor thinks it's time for them to bond. Natalie reminds everyone about how Tess was trying to kill people not long ago, but Vicki is used to weird panic rooms of murderous intent and not as easily shaken as Natalie, I guess. Vicki takes Chloe to bring her to St. Anne's to see Jess.
Piney Cafe: David explains to Rex that Dorian was never happy with any of her previous life paths, so she's letting go of it. Rex asks what the Cloud and River Zen Shack needs money for. Dorian sips her water and grits through her teeth "maintenance." Rex says something about piranha eating their own, and David thanks him and tears up the paperwork. Dorian is confused. And probably in need of a good pedicure at this point.
Piney Cafe: Blair is concerned by what Tea will do to Starr on the stand. Todd says she's tough, and Blair angrily says Starr shouldn't have to keep being tough all the dang time.
Blair's House: Tea turns on the waterworks and says that Starr shouldn't feel responsible for Todd trying to kill himself, even though she's only discussing this so that Starr feels very guilty. Starr angrily and sadly tells Tea that she has to tell her all the details, or she'll feel responsible. Poor Tea has been backed into the briar patch, so she sobbingly tells Starr the truth she doesn't want to tell her. She says Todd and Marty had a fight on the roof of the Palace Hotel. Starr sadly asks if Tea is saying Todd jumped.
Johns' Bar: Wes has Cole in a sleeper hold until he promises he's calmed down. Cole agrees, so Wes unhands him. Then Cole sucker punches Wes. Kapow!
Commercials
John's Bar: Gigi gives Wes a bag of ice and says he'll have a shiner. John comes in to be filled in that Cole has a mean left hook.
Vicki's Kitchen: Jared comforts Natalie that the doctor is good and knows what he's doing with Jess. Natalie can't get over being held captive with a bomb for months on end. She gets that Jess isn't Tess, but she doesn't get how you know who's going to show up. Jared suggests they move out. What? Two grown adults with jobs having their own living space and not living with Mommy? How silly!
St. Anne's: Jess is nervous about meeting Chloe, but jubilantly takes her from Vicki's arms.
Blair's: Tea continues to sob believably. She says Todd is a complicated man and makes a lot of mistakes, and this time he couldn't deal with them. Starr and her tear stained face asks if Tea thinks Todd would try to kill himself again.
Piney Cafe: David blathers about stuff. Rex checks his wrist and pretends there is a watch there and says he has to leave. He says orange is very flattering on Dorian and leaves. Dorian says he's wormy. David tells Dorian he wants her to tell him what she already knows. Dorian sets her face to not look completely baffled by what David is talking about.
Commercials
Piney Cafe: Dorian asks David what he means. David says the real reason Rex upsets her: he hurt Adriyawna. Dorian says that she indeed hates his guts for that reason. She calms herself and says she is channeling a lot of negative energy about Rex. David solemnly says they have much work to do. Dorian breathes "so close" and breathes out "so far"
John's Bar: John broods and Cole broods. Brood boys brood!
Vicki's Kitchen: Jared says that he loves Bree and Chloe, but they aren't their children. Even though Natalie is the one making a stink about all of this, she says they can't move out b/c they have to watch over Bree and Chloe's safety.
St. Anne's: Jess holds Chloe and sobs happily. The doctor asks how Jess is feeling. She says she feels whole. With th edoctor's help, she says she feels like the baby is hers. She says she's not sure how she felt when she gave birth or about anything that happened last summer. Vicki grows concerned and tries to breezily ask the doctor to step into the hallway, but there's really no graceful way to nonchalantly interrupt a psych consult. Jess just stares happily at Chloe playing in her arms. In the hallway Vicki tells the doctor something is seriously wrong.
Commercials
St. Anne's: Vicki is alarmed that Jess doesn't remember anything about the birth or last summer. The doctor calmly says that Tess was in control. Vicki worries that Jess not remembering means she's not fully integrated. The doctor mumbo jumbos something that this happens, and in time Jess will remember. He insists he's seen no sign of Tess or Bess. He says Jess is ready to go home, as long as she has strict outpatient care. Vicki is happy about this.
Blair's House: Tea says Todd forbid Tea from cross examining Starr b/c he'd rather spend life in prison than see her suffer more. Starr says Tea is avoiding the question and asks again if she think Todd would attempt suicide again. Tea sadly answers she doesn't know. She says that Todd does beautiful and loving things, and it makes you think about what he could be. She wants him to have another chance. She laughs and says she shouldn't even be here right now, but she's Starr's friend, and keeping it from her felt wrong. She wanted Starr to know everything before going into court. She sobs that she does love Starr, and she hopes she knows. Starr softly thanks her. Tea leaves, making certain that no one busts her for being here. She tiptoes out the door, is what I'm saying. Also, she has a marvelous red coat that matches her evilness quite nicely.
John's Bar: Rex and Gigi gossip about David and how he used to be King of the Con Artists. Oh, come on, is anyone really buying that David is a VicerosI? Cole's 17 hour free period from school continues as patrons fill up the bar. John asks him to stick around and takes a call. Cole uses this as an excuse to take a pill. He also ignores a call from Starr.
Blair's House: Starr calls Langston, begging the sky for her to answer, but she doesn't. Starr grabs her coat and runs out.
Piney Cafe: Dorian says David is guiding her towards a higher plain. She's going to call some philanthropic friends and have them suggest some worthy charities for her fortune. Oh, somehow Rex got them to decide against Cloud and Moon Zen Shack, I guess. David says he has a better idea.
Commercials
John's Bar: Cole sits around and plays with his food. This bar serves pancakes? That seems remarkably odd. John says he doesn't think Wes seems as bad as he seems, and he promises Cole will get his mom back eventually. Cole complains that he has been patient. John asks Cole what he wanted to talk about, but Cole gruffly says it doesn't matter and leaves.
Rix has a phone call. Gigi is jealous of some woman named Jackie. Rex explains that he's a big flirt to get info what he needs. Oh, Gigi isn't jealous, she likes that Rex is a user. This was a weird scene. Is Gigi on something?
Piney Cafe: David wants to go mountain climbing to meditate. Dorian doesn't see how enlightenment will ward off frostbite. David asks what a journey is without hardships. Dorian deadpans "first class?" heh. But she agrees to go with David.
Blair and Todd bicker some more and Blair leaves. Tea sits down and says she's been off earning her hourly rate. You'd never guess in a million years that she'd just been sobbing to a teenager. Tea is ready to set her evil glare on a new victim: Lee Halperin.
Vicki's KItchen: Jared calls Natalie "Sparky" and says he has her back, and they are a team against the world. Natalie jumps into his arms.
St. Anne's: Vickie breaks the good news that Jess can go home in the next few days. Jess says Nat and Jared probably won't like it. Again, maybe all of you people pushing 30 years of age can think about getting your own homes. Vickie assures her Nat will deal, and then she comments on how Chloe is beautiful, just like Jess. and also Starr!
High School: Poor, forlorn Starr has made her way to school because I guess her 18 week "free period" is finally over. She makes her way to Dillon's class room and silently rushes to him to hug him, while he quizzes her what's wrong.
the end
Piney Cafe: Rex joins Dorian and David. Do people on a mission to nirvana eat a lot of Moons over Myhammy?
Piney Cafe: Blair and Todd bicker about his impending trial for kidnapping. Todd is sure Tea has it all covered.
Blair's House: Tea is breaking the news that Todd tried to kill himself on New Year's Eve. Tea caresses Starr's hair and says Todd didn't want her to know and feel responsible. Tea is so awesomely evil.
Credits
Blair's House: Tea purrs that Todd is very complicated and a lot is happening to him right now with Marty and maybe losing his kids. Starr asks why Tea said Todd doesn't want her, Starr to feel responsible. Tea says Todd felt guilty about what happened to Starr's baby. Starr cries that he SHOULD feel guilty. Tea blames Dr. Joplin for the baby's death, not Todd. Starr says now Dr. Joplin is dead. She stops and thinks and cries that Dr. Joplin killed herself and Todd tried to kill himself b/c of her and her baby. Tea says she never should have said anything.
Piney Cafe: Blair says that Dr. Joplin took Starr's baby, with the plan of giving the baby to Todd, and if she hadn't done all kinds of shenannigans with moving or hiding the baby, the baby may still be alive. Blair points out that Nurse Lee will be able to seal the deal, but Todd is sure that Lee has such poor character it won't matter. Blair scoffs and isn't so sure b/c she did know wht Todd's plan was.
Piney Cafe: David explains to Rex that Dorian is about to sign over her worldly goods to the Big Cloud Sillyhead Zen Shack, or something like that. Rex says it's like investing in your spiritual future. David says he's doing the same, but it's only symbolic b/c he's penniless. Dorian pretends to be choking and needing water, so David leaves to get some. Then Dorian angrily asks Rex what he's doing.
John's Bar: Cole says he has a free period at school. Yeah, I kind of thought those were for studying and not hanging out in bras. Cole tells John he's worried about Marty. Wes shows up and Cole angrily says he's the SOB who's been using his mom. and then be breaks a bottle.
Commercials
John's Bar: Wes says he understands Cole is upset, but he's not using anyone. Cole rails at Wes and says she's sick and playing house in a hotel room. Wes remains calm and explains that maybe Marty feels comfortable around him b/c they don't share a past that she can't remember. He says it's killing Marty to let everyone down and break everyone's heart all day. Cole flails his arms around and tells Wes not to talk about his mom.
Vicki's Incredibly Homey and Delightful Kitchen: Jared holds a baby. Is this Starr's baby? Natalie isn't sure if it's time to let Jessica and "her" baby spend time together. Vicki says the the doctor thinks it's time for them to bond. Natalie reminds everyone about how Tess was trying to kill people not long ago, but Vicki is used to weird panic rooms of murderous intent and not as easily shaken as Natalie, I guess. Vicki takes Chloe to bring her to St. Anne's to see Jess.
Piney Cafe: David explains to Rex that Dorian was never happy with any of her previous life paths, so she's letting go of it. Rex asks what the Cloud and River Zen Shack needs money for. Dorian sips her water and grits through her teeth "maintenance." Rex says something about piranha eating their own, and David thanks him and tears up the paperwork. Dorian is confused. And probably in need of a good pedicure at this point.
Piney Cafe: Blair is concerned by what Tea will do to Starr on the stand. Todd says she's tough, and Blair angrily says Starr shouldn't have to keep being tough all the dang time.
Blair's House: Tea turns on the waterworks and says that Starr shouldn't feel responsible for Todd trying to kill himself, even though she's only discussing this so that Starr feels very guilty. Starr angrily and sadly tells Tea that she has to tell her all the details, or she'll feel responsible. Poor Tea has been backed into the briar patch, so she sobbingly tells Starr the truth she doesn't want to tell her. She says Todd and Marty had a fight on the roof of the Palace Hotel. Starr sadly asks if Tea is saying Todd jumped.
Johns' Bar: Wes has Cole in a sleeper hold until he promises he's calmed down. Cole agrees, so Wes unhands him. Then Cole sucker punches Wes. Kapow!
Commercials
John's Bar: Gigi gives Wes a bag of ice and says he'll have a shiner. John comes in to be filled in that Cole has a mean left hook.
Vicki's Kitchen: Jared comforts Natalie that the doctor is good and knows what he's doing with Jess. Natalie can't get over being held captive with a bomb for months on end. She gets that Jess isn't Tess, but she doesn't get how you know who's going to show up. Jared suggests they move out. What? Two grown adults with jobs having their own living space and not living with Mommy? How silly!
St. Anne's: Jess is nervous about meeting Chloe, but jubilantly takes her from Vicki's arms.
Blair's: Tea continues to sob believably. She says Todd is a complicated man and makes a lot of mistakes, and this time he couldn't deal with them. Starr and her tear stained face asks if Tea thinks Todd would try to kill himself again.
Piney Cafe: David blathers about stuff. Rex checks his wrist and pretends there is a watch there and says he has to leave. He says orange is very flattering on Dorian and leaves. Dorian says he's wormy. David tells Dorian he wants her to tell him what she already knows. Dorian sets her face to not look completely baffled by what David is talking about.
Commercials
Piney Cafe: Dorian asks David what he means. David says the real reason Rex upsets her: he hurt Adriyawna. Dorian says that she indeed hates his guts for that reason. She calms herself and says she is channeling a lot of negative energy about Rex. David solemnly says they have much work to do. Dorian breathes "so close" and breathes out "so far"
John's Bar: John broods and Cole broods. Brood boys brood!
Vicki's Kitchen: Jared says that he loves Bree and Chloe, but they aren't their children. Even though Natalie is the one making a stink about all of this, she says they can't move out b/c they have to watch over Bree and Chloe's safety.
St. Anne's: Jess holds Chloe and sobs happily. The doctor asks how Jess is feeling. She says she feels whole. With th edoctor's help, she says she feels like the baby is hers. She says she's not sure how she felt when she gave birth or about anything that happened last summer. Vicki grows concerned and tries to breezily ask the doctor to step into the hallway, but there's really no graceful way to nonchalantly interrupt a psych consult. Jess just stares happily at Chloe playing in her arms. In the hallway Vicki tells the doctor something is seriously wrong.
Commercials
St. Anne's: Vicki is alarmed that Jess doesn't remember anything about the birth or last summer. The doctor calmly says that Tess was in control. Vicki worries that Jess not remembering means she's not fully integrated. The doctor mumbo jumbos something that this happens, and in time Jess will remember. He insists he's seen no sign of Tess or Bess. He says Jess is ready to go home, as long as she has strict outpatient care. Vicki is happy about this.
Blair's House: Tea says Todd forbid Tea from cross examining Starr b/c he'd rather spend life in prison than see her suffer more. Starr says Tea is avoiding the question and asks again if she think Todd would attempt suicide again. Tea sadly answers she doesn't know. She says that Todd does beautiful and loving things, and it makes you think about what he could be. She wants him to have another chance. She laughs and says she shouldn't even be here right now, but she's Starr's friend, and keeping it from her felt wrong. She wanted Starr to know everything before going into court. She sobs that she does love Starr, and she hopes she knows. Starr softly thanks her. Tea leaves, making certain that no one busts her for being here. She tiptoes out the door, is what I'm saying. Also, she has a marvelous red coat that matches her evilness quite nicely.
John's Bar: Rex and Gigi gossip about David and how he used to be King of the Con Artists. Oh, come on, is anyone really buying that David is a VicerosI? Cole's 17 hour free period from school continues as patrons fill up the bar. John asks him to stick around and takes a call. Cole uses this as an excuse to take a pill. He also ignores a call from Starr.
Blair's House: Starr calls Langston, begging the sky for her to answer, but she doesn't. Starr grabs her coat and runs out.
Piney Cafe: Dorian says David is guiding her towards a higher plain. She's going to call some philanthropic friends and have them suggest some worthy charities for her fortune. Oh, somehow Rex got them to decide against Cloud and Moon Zen Shack, I guess. David says he has a better idea.
Commercials
John's Bar: Cole sits around and plays with his food. This bar serves pancakes? That seems remarkably odd. John says he doesn't think Wes seems as bad as he seems, and he promises Cole will get his mom back eventually. Cole complains that he has been patient. John asks Cole what he wanted to talk about, but Cole gruffly says it doesn't matter and leaves.
Rix has a phone call. Gigi is jealous of some woman named Jackie. Rex explains that he's a big flirt to get info what he needs. Oh, Gigi isn't jealous, she likes that Rex is a user. This was a weird scene. Is Gigi on something?
Piney Cafe: David wants to go mountain climbing to meditate. Dorian doesn't see how enlightenment will ward off frostbite. David asks what a journey is without hardships. Dorian deadpans "first class?" heh. But she agrees to go with David.
Blair and Todd bicker some more and Blair leaves. Tea sits down and says she's been off earning her hourly rate. You'd never guess in a million years that she'd just been sobbing to a teenager. Tea is ready to set her evil glare on a new victim: Lee Halperin.
Vicki's KItchen: Jared calls Natalie "Sparky" and says he has her back, and they are a team against the world. Natalie jumps into his arms.
St. Anne's: Vickie breaks the good news that Jess can go home in the next few days. Jess says Nat and Jared probably won't like it. Again, maybe all of you people pushing 30 years of age can think about getting your own homes. Vickie assures her Nat will deal, and then she comments on how Chloe is beautiful, just like Jess. and also Starr!
High School: Poor, forlorn Starr has made her way to school because I guess her 18 week "free period" is finally over. She makes her way to Dillon's class room and silently rushes to him to hug him, while he quizzes her what's wrong.
the end
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
GH Recap 1/27: Snow Day
My tv is all snowy, so I can only recap the sounds.
Patrick whines about The Danger
Winnie sepia tones about how they think Looloo died. shut UP Sepia Tone Winnie. We know no one who is on a lot dies. Gawd.
Looloo calls Maxie to say she stupidly basically quit and needs Maxie to go to work to answer the phones. She's all in a tizzy. Because she's an idiot. Johnny shows up and Loo finally admits that she knows Johnny lied about having a job. She asks why.
Credits
Love music and loud smooching noises. lol, it's Sam and Lucky in her pool.
Raynor is mad at Jason. They fight. I guess they are in Raynor's "Office" They bicker about spinelli. raynor wants to avert a disaster and won't share classified info. It's Jack Bauer deadly stuff, though. (that's what TIIC get for firing Amanda. She was FBI all along!) blah blah, Raynor needs the Plow Pox Truck. Jason calls Spinelli. Oh, we are at Jason's. Sorry, honestly can't see chit today.
Robin fights about Maxie. Patrick is there. He showed up and made Robin feel bad. But also, multiple orgasms clearly make Robin "feel bad", so why is this guy bothering? Patrick leaves and Maxie points out that Robin bites everyone's heads off. Robin whines that Patrick thinks she has PPD, but she's fine. Maxie, I can only imagine, stares at her like she has two heads, but like she loves both her heads.
Casa de 3's too much: Loo and Johnny fight about how he's a murderer for aliving until he chose not to be. She thnks he thinks he's better than everyone. John whines that Wheels is a creepo and he only JUST NOW decided to do something about it. Loo idiotically tells him to stop getting int he way her having a cool boyfriend and then she has the AUDACITY to compare cutie pie Luke to Wheels and says she got a job. She pretends it's not a job she got b/c of Carly, and John leaves b/c he hates Looloo like the rest of us do. (for 5 minutes anyways)
Claud and Sonny bicker about Kate. They talk about Scotland and England and how they have to be married to ward off the Huns, or whatever the hell this stupid marriage is about.
Commercials
Am I the only one who wants a spinoff with Flo from the Progresive commercials with the Sonic guys?
Kate and Olivia meet to gossip about Sonny. Olivia informs McFarty that she is a badass and she's figured out how to make more money for the hotel. Stupidly, Kate only wants to talk about boys. Can Olivia cook, or something? Kate says she saw a dvd from Jerry Probst, and she wants Olivia to warn Sonny.
Claud and sonny fight about TV. Since when does Sonny watch tv? I've always imagined him a Greta von Sustern kind of guy b/c he figures he can bang her good.
Lucky and Sam are out of the bed...er...pool. Lucky whines STILL about Sam and her Luke-ishness. oh, SNAP, Luke called Sam "Liz" OUCH! OUCH WITH CHEESE, YO. Sam, the brain trust of the show, thinks this may be about what Liz still means to Lucky. Then Sam goes all Dark Woman on Sam and says she thought They were about what he could bring to her life, but now she doesn't. Lucky, the assshat who ju7st called her by another woman's name, asks "are you breaking up with me?" shut the eff UP, Lucky. especially when calling a woman by another woman's name.
Jason and Spinelli fight about how Spinelli wants to save Jason and vice versa. Jason storms out. Spinelli calls someone and says they have to meet, but the music indicates that he's an idiot and is ignoring Jason way worse than Sam or Liz ever did.
Commercials
oh, btw, Lost is awesome. Sorry I ever said otherwise.
Sam whinily says they shiould end as friends instead of staying for the wrong reasons. He whines something else. She idiotics that relationships shouldn't be work. He even more idiotics "not if no one changes" omg. these two are the biggest losers EVER. Each more idiotic than the other. Lucky waxes "philosophic" about something, but he's dummer than my coffee cup (though clearly so much hotter) and he says it doesn't have to be the end. even though he just said his ideal relationship involves the other person never changing. These two can't die in an elevator fast enough for me.
Kate and Olivia fight about Sonny. omg. I"m sorry, Lucky and Sam, I totally forgot how stupid Kate and Sonny are. You are the Heathcliff and Catherine of this show compared to THOSE idiots! and I'm not honestly sure if Heathcliff and Catherine are the right match up, but I'm saying ANY two delightful characters from ANY two stories are better than Kate and Sonny. Olivia, is as always, the voice of delight and tells Kate to get a life, but she's not heard. But she is, even though I can't see her, totally hot, I"m sure.
Claud and Sonny bicker about stuff. I remember how much I used to love both of these actors and how I was honestly kind of surprised when theyhooked up and how it made no sense, but how it was very sexy and fun. But I also used to think that bass players were the answer to my prayers. I've SINCE realized that a good, decent man who wants to spend his days making a family for us is what is really hot. He indeed has dimples, but so do I, so I don't think this is the reason. Sonny remains the same he was back then....boring, self obsessed and incapable of providing for a family. Why is he still an issue?
Piph, Matt and Someone gossip about snow storms. Matt idiotically says it's not snowing yet. oh, hey, look at that, I called him Matt! I didn't even mean to. Oh, well, SHAWN DOUGLAS, I guess you tricked me.
Patrick wants to talk to someone about his annoying wife.
commercials
oh, gawd, even in snow, I can see it's Beret Head eavesdropping.
Patrick and Liz gossip about Robin. Liz is obsessed that it's not PPD and Patrick says Robin cleans the house a lot. Are the writers INSANE? I can give any human being on the planet who is literate 4 articles about PPD, and they can come up with something better than this. Patrick asks Liz to ask if he has something to be worried about. Well, she JUST SAID that it's normal to hate your baby, so why ask her?
Emma's Palace: Robin listens to Emma cry and cry. She gets a call and asks if the person is on their way over. I understand there is PPD. but forgive me if I openly mock the idiotic way this is playing out. Kimberly McCullough did a good job last week, but this is all so stupid. this is ONE DAY and Robin suddenly has a babysitter to call? It's a REAL malady. It has nothing to do with selfishness or bad mothering. But a woman like Robin would know how to make it so that this babysitter showed up EVERY DAY. because she had to deal with stuff. A woman of means, like Robin, would be able to have NO ONE know about it. This is like when a woman gets raped and then accepts immediately that she should have worn a longer skirt or locked the door. This is like saying a mother INVITES the impossible hormonal imbalances and the sudden change of life that happens overnight.
Spinelli and Winnie meet and then Jason and Sam meet, and it's all so stupid, that I feel like my brain will fall out if I keep recapping.
commercials
John and Loo fight nd fight. John starts talking about HIS FAMILY does things like not care about Whole Food's bound carrot tops, but she doesn't get it, so she just whines "why can't we just play house forever?" and he says it's because he doesn't know what "house" means and he leaves, and she cries. Shut up, Looloo's tears.
Liz and Patrick gossip about Robin. She tells him to support Robin, and come what may, they will survive. Robin calls Piph and asks for Pat. Robin says that babysitter is having car trouble, so he says he'll come home. Robin yells at him that she doesn't need a babysitter, so quit asking like she called him to say she is worried that the babysitter can't come. Robin, if you are going for subtle, maybe try hitting people over the head with AN ACME ANVIL.
Spin and Jason jaberwock about The Danger. It's now taken the form of Plow Pox. Spinelli has hilariouly taken the position heretofore only held by Cornmom, Liz, Carly or Sam...he will only tell Jason stuff if he gets what he wants.
Claud and Sonny blather like idiots about how it wasn't wrong beyond reason that Sonny had no guards present when his son visited his mobstery job. Also, he says she can come to the Benefit To Celebrate Horrible Parenting that Carly is throwing.
loud doors open. scary music souns. can't see the picture. someone lights a candle? Kate is doing all of this. music gets crazy dramatic. Is Kate into the occult? that woudl be awesome! but I don't think that's it. sorry, I seriously have a stupid snowy image and nothing else.
Commercials
GH does a promo in the midst of its own show. Raynor is concerned there's no way to contain. also, Rie Sinclair sings about breathing, just breathing.
Spinelli and Jason fight about making sacrifices and working together. Jason gives in. OH, Jason, NEVER feed a stray cat, you NEVER get rid of them! Jason gets a call about the Plow Pox.
GH; The Brothers Drake want to treat a patient, but Matt wants Patrick to go home to his horrible wife.
Horrible Wifeland: she angrily is angereda bout her angerness.
then a montage about Kate knowing about Claud and Jerry Probst and Sonny being an idiot, but Kate not answering why she's there. I've hated some exes before, but I'd ALWAYS tell them if a Jerry Probst was haunting their new wives through dvd. we are living in a SOCIETY afterall!
the end
I apologize if today made no sense. It is a very hateable show, and I let that show more than I should have!
Patrick whines about The Danger
Winnie sepia tones about how they think Looloo died. shut UP Sepia Tone Winnie. We know no one who is on a lot dies. Gawd.
Looloo calls Maxie to say she stupidly basically quit and needs Maxie to go to work to answer the phones. She's all in a tizzy. Because she's an idiot. Johnny shows up and Loo finally admits that she knows Johnny lied about having a job. She asks why.
Credits
Love music and loud smooching noises. lol, it's Sam and Lucky in her pool.
Raynor is mad at Jason. They fight. I guess they are in Raynor's "Office" They bicker about spinelli. raynor wants to avert a disaster and won't share classified info. It's Jack Bauer deadly stuff, though. (that's what TIIC get for firing Amanda. She was FBI all along!) blah blah, Raynor needs the Plow Pox Truck. Jason calls Spinelli. Oh, we are at Jason's. Sorry, honestly can't see chit today.
Robin fights about Maxie. Patrick is there. He showed up and made Robin feel bad. But also, multiple orgasms clearly make Robin "feel bad", so why is this guy bothering? Patrick leaves and Maxie points out that Robin bites everyone's heads off. Robin whines that Patrick thinks she has PPD, but she's fine. Maxie, I can only imagine, stares at her like she has two heads, but like she loves both her heads.
Casa de 3's too much: Loo and Johnny fight about how he's a murderer for aliving until he chose not to be. She thnks he thinks he's better than everyone. John whines that Wheels is a creepo and he only JUST NOW decided to do something about it. Loo idiotically tells him to stop getting int he way her having a cool boyfriend and then she has the AUDACITY to compare cutie pie Luke to Wheels and says she got a job. She pretends it's not a job she got b/c of Carly, and John leaves b/c he hates Looloo like the rest of us do. (for 5 minutes anyways)
Claud and Sonny bicker about Kate. They talk about Scotland and England and how they have to be married to ward off the Huns, or whatever the hell this stupid marriage is about.
Commercials
Am I the only one who wants a spinoff with Flo from the Progresive commercials with the Sonic guys?
Kate and Olivia meet to gossip about Sonny. Olivia informs McFarty that she is a badass and she's figured out how to make more money for the hotel. Stupidly, Kate only wants to talk about boys. Can Olivia cook, or something? Kate says she saw a dvd from Jerry Probst, and she wants Olivia to warn Sonny.
Claud and sonny fight about TV. Since when does Sonny watch tv? I've always imagined him a Greta von Sustern kind of guy b/c he figures he can bang her good.
Lucky and Sam are out of the bed...er...pool. Lucky whines STILL about Sam and her Luke-ishness. oh, SNAP, Luke called Sam "Liz" OUCH! OUCH WITH CHEESE, YO. Sam, the brain trust of the show, thinks this may be about what Liz still means to Lucky. Then Sam goes all Dark Woman on Sam and says she thought They were about what he could bring to her life, but now she doesn't. Lucky, the assshat who ju7st called her by another woman's name, asks "are you breaking up with me?" shut the eff UP, Lucky. especially when calling a woman by another woman's name.
Jason and Spinelli fight about how Spinelli wants to save Jason and vice versa. Jason storms out. Spinelli calls someone and says they have to meet, but the music indicates that he's an idiot and is ignoring Jason way worse than Sam or Liz ever did.
Commercials
oh, btw, Lost is awesome. Sorry I ever said otherwise.
Sam whinily says they shiould end as friends instead of staying for the wrong reasons. He whines something else. She idiotics that relationships shouldn't be work. He even more idiotics "not if no one changes" omg. these two are the biggest losers EVER. Each more idiotic than the other. Lucky waxes "philosophic" about something, but he's dummer than my coffee cup (though clearly so much hotter) and he says it doesn't have to be the end. even though he just said his ideal relationship involves the other person never changing. These two can't die in an elevator fast enough for me.
Kate and Olivia fight about Sonny. omg. I"m sorry, Lucky and Sam, I totally forgot how stupid Kate and Sonny are. You are the Heathcliff and Catherine of this show compared to THOSE idiots! and I'm not honestly sure if Heathcliff and Catherine are the right match up, but I'm saying ANY two delightful characters from ANY two stories are better than Kate and Sonny. Olivia, is as always, the voice of delight and tells Kate to get a life, but she's not heard. But she is, even though I can't see her, totally hot, I"m sure.
Claud and Sonny bicker about stuff. I remember how much I used to love both of these actors and how I was honestly kind of surprised when theyhooked up and how it made no sense, but how it was very sexy and fun. But I also used to think that bass players were the answer to my prayers. I've SINCE realized that a good, decent man who wants to spend his days making a family for us is what is really hot. He indeed has dimples, but so do I, so I don't think this is the reason. Sonny remains the same he was back then....boring, self obsessed and incapable of providing for a family. Why is he still an issue?
Piph, Matt and Someone gossip about snow storms. Matt idiotically says it's not snowing yet. oh, hey, look at that, I called him Matt! I didn't even mean to. Oh, well, SHAWN DOUGLAS, I guess you tricked me.
Patrick wants to talk to someone about his annoying wife.
commercials
oh, gawd, even in snow, I can see it's Beret Head eavesdropping.
Patrick and Liz gossip about Robin. Liz is obsessed that it's not PPD and Patrick says Robin cleans the house a lot. Are the writers INSANE? I can give any human being on the planet who is literate 4 articles about PPD, and they can come up with something better than this. Patrick asks Liz to ask if he has something to be worried about. Well, she JUST SAID that it's normal to hate your baby, so why ask her?
Emma's Palace: Robin listens to Emma cry and cry. She gets a call and asks if the person is on their way over. I understand there is PPD. but forgive me if I openly mock the idiotic way this is playing out. Kimberly McCullough did a good job last week, but this is all so stupid. this is ONE DAY and Robin suddenly has a babysitter to call? It's a REAL malady. It has nothing to do with selfishness or bad mothering. But a woman like Robin would know how to make it so that this babysitter showed up EVERY DAY. because she had to deal with stuff. A woman of means, like Robin, would be able to have NO ONE know about it. This is like when a woman gets raped and then accepts immediately that she should have worn a longer skirt or locked the door. This is like saying a mother INVITES the impossible hormonal imbalances and the sudden change of life that happens overnight.
Spinelli and Winnie meet and then Jason and Sam meet, and it's all so stupid, that I feel like my brain will fall out if I keep recapping.
commercials
John and Loo fight nd fight. John starts talking about HIS FAMILY does things like not care about Whole Food's bound carrot tops, but she doesn't get it, so she just whines "why can't we just play house forever?" and he says it's because he doesn't know what "house" means and he leaves, and she cries. Shut up, Looloo's tears.
Liz and Patrick gossip about Robin. She tells him to support Robin, and come what may, they will survive. Robin calls Piph and asks for Pat. Robin says that babysitter is having car trouble, so he says he'll come home. Robin yells at him that she doesn't need a babysitter, so quit asking like she called him to say she is worried that the babysitter can't come. Robin, if you are going for subtle, maybe try hitting people over the head with AN ACME ANVIL.
Spin and Jason jaberwock about The Danger. It's now taken the form of Plow Pox. Spinelli has hilariouly taken the position heretofore only held by Cornmom, Liz, Carly or Sam...he will only tell Jason stuff if he gets what he wants.
Claud and Sonny blather like idiots about how it wasn't wrong beyond reason that Sonny had no guards present when his son visited his mobstery job. Also, he says she can come to the Benefit To Celebrate Horrible Parenting that Carly is throwing.
loud doors open. scary music souns. can't see the picture. someone lights a candle? Kate is doing all of this. music gets crazy dramatic. Is Kate into the occult? that woudl be awesome! but I don't think that's it. sorry, I seriously have a stupid snowy image and nothing else.
Commercials
GH does a promo in the midst of its own show. Raynor is concerned there's no way to contain. also, Rie Sinclair sings about breathing, just breathing.
Spinelli and Jason fight about making sacrifices and working together. Jason gives in. OH, Jason, NEVER feed a stray cat, you NEVER get rid of them! Jason gets a call about the Plow Pox.
GH; The Brothers Drake want to treat a patient, but Matt wants Patrick to go home to his horrible wife.
Horrible Wifeland: she angrily is angereda bout her angerness.
then a montage about Kate knowing about Claud and Jerry Probst and Sonny being an idiot, but Kate not answering why she's there. I've hated some exes before, but I'd ALWAYS tell them if a Jerry Probst was haunting their new wives through dvd. we are living in a SOCIETY afterall!
the end
I apologize if today made no sense. It is a very hateable show, and I let that show more than I should have!
Friday, January 23, 2009
GH Recap 1/23:
Darkened Cafe Interrogate: Patrick and Raynor. patrick explains Brant was admitted, but Patrick was going to go home to Robin, so Matt did the surgery. Raynor angrily says "b/c you wanted to go home" like that's some sort of d1ck move. Patrick says it started with 6 people doing their job, not knowing it would kill them.
Sepia Winnie: Winnie on the phone explaining Carly was doing a benefit for head injuries. She says Carly is one they can confirm. (oh, no, that means Carly is dead. eye rolls)
Color Emma's: Robin snots at Carly that she'll check on her sobbing daughter when Carly leaves. Wow, Robin, way to teach Carly a lesson. Carly wants to invite Robin b/c Sonny owes her b/c he'd never have adopted Michael of Robin hadn't done what she done. or did what she did. robin snots "you mean told the truth", but even poor Carly can't bear the sound of Emma's sobs one second longer and dares Robin that if Robin doesn't go to her daughter, she will.
Credits.
Cafe Interrogate: Oh, brudder, I forgot that Spinelli has accosted Raynor to learn details of a deal a citizen made with the bureau. Shut UP spinelli, gawd. He rambles for 85 years and thinks he can somehow make a case that jason doesn't deserve to suffer for his stupidity? I don't know. After 8000 years, Spinelli finally says he's willing to go to jail, if that's what it takes, or he'll follow any FBI order to save jason. OBVIOUSLY Raynor tells him this is not going to happen and tells him to beat it. He further lambasts Spinelli to quit not seeing that the good guys are the FBI, and not the mobsters, so quit trying to screw that up.
Emma's: Robin has rolled Emma into the room. Carly is completly confused that Robin won't pick her up. robin snots that she's standing right next to her and impatiently asks what time the party starts. Carly says Robin doesn't have to feel like she has to come b/c she's clearly busy. robin starts to take offense that Carly is insulting her, but Carly kindly says that Robin looks great. Carly starts to soften a little towards Robin and says that there is a nursery at the benefit, and they can work something out. Robin resists some more, and Carly asks if she can hold her then because it does turn out Carly has a slight pang of maternal instincts. Then Carly heart breakingly holds the baby girl she had longed to hold and she coos at her and tells her how much she's always wanted a little girl to go shopping with and glue buttons to her head. Robin stands there and stares as if she's watching a Holocaust film. She's clearly so bereft that she can't stop what makes no sense and do anything to help it.
GH elevator: Matt and Beret Head meet. They talk about a coffee shop that burned down, and disgustingly, they are talking about Wheatgrass cafe and not Kelly's. Dude, neither of these characters is as lovable as Kelly's so stfu writers. Beret head says she's obviously not the first woman he's hit on in an elevator. he oddly asks if she wants to be the last. Um, dude, isn't that kind of a threat? She makes this tiny move torward him b/c there is a giant wall of sexuality roaring between them, and she can only move slowly, or whatever the hell Natalia Livingston is thinking that makes her think anything she's doing is sexy or naughty or bad girly and she asks "isn't this your floor" and then he threatens that she didn't answer her question. Why does Matt want to kill Beret Head? Other than the obvious? Beret Head watches after him. but she's OBSESSED with riding on elevators, so she doesn't get off. Nik tries to catch her elevator, but misses.
commercials
Metrocourt: Spinelli sits types in the restaurant. He says he's running out of places with strong wireless. Aw, poor El Laptopo! Maxie meets him and learns Spinelli once again hacked into the FBI.
Metrocourt Lobby: Kate finds Olivia working. blah blah benefit and concerned about the weather. Oh, the Benefit is at Corinthaus? Kate gives Olivia a watch to give to Sonny. Olivia's face is hilarious as she holds this box and thinks her cousin is nutty. Did y'all know that some people spend TENS of THOUSANDS of dollars on watches. Doesn't that seem nutty? Kate just wants him to have the watch. Why not give it to a homeless person and let them sell it an dhave away to live for 5 years?
Corinthaus: oh, gawd, Claud and Sonny are still not dead. Pity. Claud wants SOnny to get jason to back down b/c then Wheels will trust Sonny. Sonny thinks that Claud is worried about being expendable one day. What is this story line? I've read Greek plays that weren't so convoluted and violent and angry. Sonny gets angry with Claud and says she's done little but betray him. She says that's not what's happening, and she's done what she needed to for her family, and she hopes he'll do the same. and then, for some bizarre reason, this means killing him. Do these idiots think they King Leonides and Xerxes or something? They are so epic in their own minds. They can't even run a perfume company or a vineyard. Claud swears she won't be collateral damage.
Commercials
Emma's: robin needs to get ready for the benefit. Carly is surprised she's going. Robin says she's been cooped up and could use a night out and would like to support Sonny and Michael. Carly doesn't really care of Robin is crazy or not, so she's shrugs okay. She says she knows they don't like each other, but she thinks Emma is beautiful. Robin says she wouldn't wish what happened to Michael on anyone, and she's glad she's turning it into a positive. Carly gets a bit teary eyed but thanks her. Robin suddenly stops her and asks if Carly if she felt bad for leaving Michael when he was a baby. Carly says she doesn't regret it now b/c she knows now it was a medical condition. She knows Jason saved her. Unfortunately, Carly is taking this personally and doesn't see it as the cry for help it clearly is. She is clearly offended but struggles to be polite and says it would be nice if they could just get along tonight. Robin feels bad that she offended Carly, but she also doesn't know how to explain why she even brought Carly's PPD up. The writing is so so, but that Kimberly McCullough sure is making me want to hug Robin!
Corinthaus: Olivia and Sonny talk about her job for Jax. She lists all the actual work she's done. The list is longer than anything he's done in 5 years. Sonny just has his tedious old Jax hate going, so he complains about him. Olivia says Jax is alright, and he's the one who offered the job, and he's easy to work for. Jax told her he has no use for brooding, unimaginative, backward looking people. Sonny has the presence of mind to know this is a dig at him. heh. Sonny calls Jax candy and says you can't trust him. I don't care that Olivia and Sonny differ in regards to Jax, though, so enough with this. She does have a hilariously gaudy patent leather giant bag and she busts out the watch from Kate.
Commercials
Metrocourt: Wheels giggles when he approaches Kate and says she's too fine for Sonny and is glad the wedding didn't happen. She says it's true marriages are better when the bride isn't shot. She leaves, and he mutters "b1tch" Claud asks why he was talking to her. He wanted insight into Sonny, and she snots he should ask Sonny's wife. It took me a minute to remember that CLAUD is Sonny's wife. So, maybe that's why, Claudicakes.
Corinthaus: Olivia says the watch is a like a retirement gift, but more expensive. heh. Sonny accuses Olivia of wanting him. She gives a mesmerizing little speech about how she likes him and always has and he has a beautiful soul and manners, but there's also a ruthless survivor, who's selfish the the bone and obsessed with power, and Kate doesn't underrstand. He mumbles that she does. She says she does. She says if the beautiful soul is still in love with Kate, the selfish survivor is still married to Claudia, so the beautiful soul really should let Kate be free. It's quite powerful, for this show, anyway, and leaves Sonny both speechless and tearful after she leaves.
Metrocourt: Maxie's rips Spinelli's head off for being an idiot. He says it's okay b/c he set a meeting with the feds. Maxie hilariously says "noooo" as you would say if someone is suggesting something they'd do in the future. hee. Maxie finally breaks it down to Spinelli that HE is what they are holding over Jason's head, so he needs to quit it. Spinelli whines this is unfair. because mobsters are super fair! but the feds are not! boo effing hoo!
Wheels and Claud have shown up. Claud purrs that she missed him, and he laughs so loudly and goofily, that we cut back over to Maxie and Spinelli staring at him. Claud wants to talk about his plans, and he wants to know what plans. She glares at him as we fade to black.
Commercials
Q Mansion: Edward chastises Tracy and Monica that they have to go to Michael's Benefit and play nice. Tracy thinks they shouldn't have to pay to have been treated like crud and have Michael kidnapped! Monica says it's a good cause, but Tracy rightly says it's money to ease Sonny's guilt. Edward says this is a good point and that he's always been fond of Carly. Monica says that Carly is verysorry she kidnapped Michael. Tracy guffaws at this, but Edward believes it would have been nice if Carly and AJ had worked out. Monica looks really good today! The hair color and cut is very flattering. Nik shows up to say he came to pay respects to Monica, and Tracy hilariously cuts him off and informs him that Monica is not dead yet. OMG, lol. Nik awkwardly finishes his sentence by saying "Emily's birthday" Oh, OF COURSE. Everyone in town EXCEPT THE Q'S remembers Emily's birthday. I'm so effing sure.
Emma's: Robin calls to be fit in somewhere today. The Longest Day Ever. She needs a day of beauty, so they offer next Tuesday. she asks to be called back if something opens, and says her schedule is wide open. Um, except for the the remarkably dependent INFANT. She starts to pick up the baby stuff in the living room. She looks back regretfully at Emma's bed, but she doesn't go to her.
GH: Carly and Patrick run into each other, and Carly tells him that Robin is going to the Benefit. This is news to him. He asks if Robin said anything about a babysitter. Carly gently says a babysitter is the least of his problems. She asks him to not take this personally, and she knows their relationship is not good (meaning hers and Robin's). She says she knows the signs, and there is something seriously wrong with Robin. Patrick reacts with the sad sigh of a man who has just been told something he knew but was hoping against hope that he was the crazy one.
Commercials
Metrocourt: Claud lets Wheels know that she knows that he shot Kate, but she does it in this delightful way that makes him giggle with glee. She acts like she's just a crazy girl with a lot of imagination and was playing pretend. Wheels asks why she'd be stupid enough to tell him she knows about this. She manages to not be afraid of him for a few moments.
Metrocourt: Sonny meanly gives Kate the watch back. that is so tacky. She says this is hard seeing as how she's been almost killed...twice. He says pathetically he never meant to hurt her, and she angrily says "ya married another woman!" good point. That part always stings! He informs her he's trying to find out who shot her, and she says it doesn't matter. He promises her whoever it is will pay. Doy, he's already said this, and she's already said she hates it.
GH: Carly tells Patrick about how Robin wouldn't pick Emma up. He sadly says he's sure she picked up Emma in the nursery. Carly says maybe, but she also points out that she tested Robin by talking about putting bows in Emma's hair, but she had no reaction. patrick agrees that Robin really hates bows. oy. Carly thinks Robin has PPD and says flatly "Patrick, if i hadn't shown up at your house, your daughter could still be crying." ouch.
Emma's: Robin tries to move the bed, but it wakes up Emma. Obviously. Robin apologizes and asks if Emma will please not cry if she puts her in the nursery. She starts talking to Emma that she wants to pick her up,but it never helps, and she's tired of feeling bad at being a mom. She says plainly that she feels like she's a bad mom and then begins to beg Emma to please stop crying for a minute so she can think. She's not angry or threatening, she's just trying to hear a voice in her head that she recognizes. She goes to the crib, but then stops and breathes and says she's been through worse, and they are going to be fine. She repeats the last part a few times and takes deep breaths.
Commercials
OLTL Recap 1/23: TGIF
Coming in about a 1/4 way into the show:
Todd's House: Apparently Todd and Tea slept together. She's buttoning up and purring about life. She leaves, and he sweetly thanks her for sleeping with him. She says you're welcome, like she lent him a snow blower.
Somewhere Dorian-Related: Dorian is still in robes and trying to convince her family that she's on the road to enlightenment. Langston reasonably points out that this is great if it's true, but if it's a lie, be ready for the Karma Police. Dorian knows she's already buried up to her armpits in bad karma, so she just smiles wryly.
Dungeon Apartment: Where is this horrible place with the wire windows. It's those women I feel no connection to who have vague accents and then every once in awhile says Col-oh-mbeeah. Mother Whoever, who I think is called Vanessa, warns Daughter Whoever, who I think is called Pilar or something like that, that A Martinez may come after them if they don't follow Vanessa's rules.
Commercials
Dungeon Apartment: Vanessa asks Daughter to promise something like this won't happen again. She asks for a letter. She wants to show it to Christian, in case he wants to give it to the police. Daughter hands her the letter. Christian comes in, but Vanessa totally hides the letter immdediately. vanessa is a bad guy. She starts making out with Christian, and he makes out back! what! But poor Flash! Not that I care about Flash, but dumb.
Llanview High: Aw, little Matthew is in high school, eh. I remember when he and Starr were so little they'd have sleep overs. He and Cole talk about a girl named Becca that he likes. Cole whispers that she's right behind him. this Becca approaches, clearly as scared of boys still as Matthew is of girls. Cole cutely tries to pull of nonchalance while Matthew just gawks at her like little boys trying to become men do.
Dorian-Related Place: Dorian and that weird chef she's obsessed with chat for a bit. he's apparently in on her scheme b/c she drops all the breezy vocalizations and yells at him that he just has to hang tough with the plan until they have enough money he can go to a fancy cooking school. Then Dorian bangs a gong (cuz she wants to get it on) and starts chanting. David shows up to say she's making a mockery.
Aggravating Cafe: Hick sounding waitress talks to a psychic. No idea what all this is. Psychic says there is great danger, but it's not for her.
Todd's Apartment: Todd finds a pretty blond, she says she still has her key. He demands it. who is she? Is that supposed to be Blair's mom? I only saw a glimpse.
Surveillance van: Antonio and his girlfriend, whose name I can't remember but who I like when she's not with him are listening to this and take interest.
Commercials
LLanview PD: Aw, Matthew went to a club last night, and Bo showed up and escorted him out? Mean! and Reasonable! bo says he thought they had a good kid. Nora says he became someone else overnight. This would be funny if they had recast the character. But instead it's just further proof that old people like bo and nora really should never have mated b/c Matthew is a teenager, adn they are acting all dumbfounded that he wants to develop his own personality and is starting to show signs of that be rebelling. Are Nora and Bo from 1642 or something? Haven't we all known about the teenage thing for quite awhile now?
Llanview High: Matthew tries to be cool and Annoying Poseur Cool kid shows up.
Llanview High II: wow, do a million teens watch this show, to have TWO high school sets? Starr and Cole bicker about his drug use.
Cafe: Tea and Lowwwla talk about whether or not Tea is sure that Vanessa and Lowwwla will never have to go back to ColOHmbia. Tea gently asks if there is new info she should know about. Tea is clearly part Cylon, Lowla...be careful!
Dungeon Apartment: Vanessa says that A Martinez wrote another threatening letter to Lola. It's mostly burned, but we, the audience know Vaness is lying. He asks her not to keep secrets, and she says she trusts him with her life. But I think she meant with her LIfE.
Monastery Country Club: Dorian asks David how to achieve nivana. He tells her to get rid of everything material. Okay, I think what is actually going on is that Dorian opened her home to homeless people, but had her personal chef cater the soup line. Which is so ridiculously awesome, I want to get a tattoo of her on my ankle. It's awesome b/c I think Dorian truely believes that this sort of thing would pass for showing she gets Buddhism. It's like when an actor accepts an Oscar and says something about Tibbet, and you know it's really just that they dig Buddism b/c they don't think people really have to suffer if they follow the path to enlightenment like they do....with their million dollars of cash, and paid for beach house, and free designer clothes and volunteer personal trainers....why suffer? just be enlightened. It's like that except you want to still have Dorian over for dinner, and you want to kick Richard Gere in the shin. Or maybe that last part is just me. Anyhoo, David tries to get Dorian to give up all her earthly possessions, and she has a bit of trouble with this sort of math. Always has.
Todd's House: Leigh offers to work with Todd. Todd is onto her and says he doesn't want anything more to do with her, she just makes him look guilty. She says they are both guilty. Todd is TOTALLY onto her now and asks what she's talking about. Is he calling her Janet? or Jenna? Sorry, don't know. she says he wanted her to help him kidnap that baby. She might as well be reading from Nora's legal briefs, though, b/c Todd just smiles warmly and asks why she's so chummy. it's so rhetorical b/c he's really just trying to figure out where the wire is.
Commercials
Llanview PD: Oh, Matthew had a joint too. Okay, that is pretty naughty! Nora says it isn't like it was for them. It isn't? How the hell old ARE Bo and Nora? My PARENTS had joints on occassion when they were young. It's not like he was carrying a meth lab, for crying out loud.
Llanview HS: More drama with the drugs. I missed the point. I think stupid little poseur kid is wanting everyone to be a pot head, like he clearly isn't? and maybe Becca and Matthew are trying to figure out where they fit in the drug scene? But then Starr and cole fight about drugs, but then they leave and leave his locker unlocked, and then Matthew shows up and grabs Cole's pills. This is getting a tad "ABC After School Special" for me.
Cafe: Lowwwla tells Tea that she's been thinking about how happy she used to be. Oh, Vanessa is not Lola's mother...sorry about writing that before. Lola now doesn't think A killed her mother. Tea manages to react to this as if she's at once saying "OMG, my plan is working!" and also like she's the most concerned mother figure a teen could ever want.
Dungeon Apartment: FF
Hick Cafe: Psychic and Hick Waitress keep talking. Hickita says David says that money corrupts and asks for $50. heh. Hick Waitress doesn't know where to find whatever money she needs. No idea. No care.
Dorian's: David says Dorian is not prepared for true peace. Dorian profoundly states she's prepared for everything. David tells her to tell the world and the Great One. Dorian loudly pronounces that she relinques everything she owns. David asks to whom. dorian drops the breathy vocalizations and says " to her family of course" David also drops his act a bit and says that doesn't work b/c she can still live here. He tells her to relinquish to someone she doesn't know like the homeless people. She gasps "NO!" but the she covers and says she said "MOE!" and she bows before Chef Moe and says she abdicates her possessions to him. It would rule if Moe and David are in on this together.
Todd's: Todd puts up with Ol Whats Her Name just long enough to enjoy watching the panic of being caught begin to creep across her face, and then he does that thing where he acts like he's an idiot just long enough that his victim tries to bolt, but then like a skilled predator, he strikes and grabs her by the arm and reveals the wire. Ah, Todd, you raping, sociopathic weirdo. Why do I love you so?
the end
Todd's House: Apparently Todd and Tea slept together. She's buttoning up and purring about life. She leaves, and he sweetly thanks her for sleeping with him. She says you're welcome, like she lent him a snow blower.
Somewhere Dorian-Related: Dorian is still in robes and trying to convince her family that she's on the road to enlightenment. Langston reasonably points out that this is great if it's true, but if it's a lie, be ready for the Karma Police. Dorian knows she's already buried up to her armpits in bad karma, so she just smiles wryly.
Dungeon Apartment: Where is this horrible place with the wire windows. It's those women I feel no connection to who have vague accents and then every once in awhile says Col-oh-mbeeah. Mother Whoever, who I think is called Vanessa, warns Daughter Whoever, who I think is called Pilar or something like that, that A Martinez may come after them if they don't follow Vanessa's rules.
Commercials
Dungeon Apartment: Vanessa asks Daughter to promise something like this won't happen again. She asks for a letter. She wants to show it to Christian, in case he wants to give it to the police. Daughter hands her the letter. Christian comes in, but Vanessa totally hides the letter immdediately. vanessa is a bad guy. She starts making out with Christian, and he makes out back! what! But poor Flash! Not that I care about Flash, but dumb.
Llanview High: Aw, little Matthew is in high school, eh. I remember when he and Starr were so little they'd have sleep overs. He and Cole talk about a girl named Becca that he likes. Cole whispers that she's right behind him. this Becca approaches, clearly as scared of boys still as Matthew is of girls. Cole cutely tries to pull of nonchalance while Matthew just gawks at her like little boys trying to become men do.
Dorian-Related Place: Dorian and that weird chef she's obsessed with chat for a bit. he's apparently in on her scheme b/c she drops all the breezy vocalizations and yells at him that he just has to hang tough with the plan until they have enough money he can go to a fancy cooking school. Then Dorian bangs a gong (cuz she wants to get it on) and starts chanting. David shows up to say she's making a mockery.
Aggravating Cafe: Hick sounding waitress talks to a psychic. No idea what all this is. Psychic says there is great danger, but it's not for her.
Todd's Apartment: Todd finds a pretty blond, she says she still has her key. He demands it. who is she? Is that supposed to be Blair's mom? I only saw a glimpse.
Surveillance van: Antonio and his girlfriend, whose name I can't remember but who I like when she's not with him are listening to this and take interest.
Commercials
LLanview PD: Aw, Matthew went to a club last night, and Bo showed up and escorted him out? Mean! and Reasonable! bo says he thought they had a good kid. Nora says he became someone else overnight. This would be funny if they had recast the character. But instead it's just further proof that old people like bo and nora really should never have mated b/c Matthew is a teenager, adn they are acting all dumbfounded that he wants to develop his own personality and is starting to show signs of that be rebelling. Are Nora and Bo from 1642 or something? Haven't we all known about the teenage thing for quite awhile now?
Llanview High: Matthew tries to be cool and Annoying Poseur Cool kid shows up.
Llanview High II: wow, do a million teens watch this show, to have TWO high school sets? Starr and Cole bicker about his drug use.
Cafe: Tea and Lowwwla talk about whether or not Tea is sure that Vanessa and Lowwwla will never have to go back to ColOHmbia. Tea gently asks if there is new info she should know about. Tea is clearly part Cylon, Lowla...be careful!
Dungeon Apartment: Vanessa says that A Martinez wrote another threatening letter to Lola. It's mostly burned, but we, the audience know Vaness is lying. He asks her not to keep secrets, and she says she trusts him with her life. But I think she meant with her LIfE.
Monastery Country Club: Dorian asks David how to achieve nivana. He tells her to get rid of everything material. Okay, I think what is actually going on is that Dorian opened her home to homeless people, but had her personal chef cater the soup line. Which is so ridiculously awesome, I want to get a tattoo of her on my ankle. It's awesome b/c I think Dorian truely believes that this sort of thing would pass for showing she gets Buddhism. It's like when an actor accepts an Oscar and says something about Tibbet, and you know it's really just that they dig Buddism b/c they don't think people really have to suffer if they follow the path to enlightenment like they do....with their million dollars of cash, and paid for beach house, and free designer clothes and volunteer personal trainers....why suffer? just be enlightened. It's like that except you want to still have Dorian over for dinner, and you want to kick Richard Gere in the shin. Or maybe that last part is just me. Anyhoo, David tries to get Dorian to give up all her earthly possessions, and she has a bit of trouble with this sort of math. Always has.
Todd's House: Leigh offers to work with Todd. Todd is onto her and says he doesn't want anything more to do with her, she just makes him look guilty. She says they are both guilty. Todd is TOTALLY onto her now and asks what she's talking about. Is he calling her Janet? or Jenna? Sorry, don't know. she says he wanted her to help him kidnap that baby. She might as well be reading from Nora's legal briefs, though, b/c Todd just smiles warmly and asks why she's so chummy. it's so rhetorical b/c he's really just trying to figure out where the wire is.
Commercials
Llanview PD: Oh, Matthew had a joint too. Okay, that is pretty naughty! Nora says it isn't like it was for them. It isn't? How the hell old ARE Bo and Nora? My PARENTS had joints on occassion when they were young. It's not like he was carrying a meth lab, for crying out loud.
Llanview HS: More drama with the drugs. I missed the point. I think stupid little poseur kid is wanting everyone to be a pot head, like he clearly isn't? and maybe Becca and Matthew are trying to figure out where they fit in the drug scene? But then Starr and cole fight about drugs, but then they leave and leave his locker unlocked, and then Matthew shows up and grabs Cole's pills. This is getting a tad "ABC After School Special" for me.
Cafe: Lowwwla tells Tea that she's been thinking about how happy she used to be. Oh, Vanessa is not Lola's mother...sorry about writing that before. Lola now doesn't think A killed her mother. Tea manages to react to this as if she's at once saying "OMG, my plan is working!" and also like she's the most concerned mother figure a teen could ever want.
Dungeon Apartment: FF
Hick Cafe: Psychic and Hick Waitress keep talking. Hickita says David says that money corrupts and asks for $50. heh. Hick Waitress doesn't know where to find whatever money she needs. No idea. No care.
Dorian's: David says Dorian is not prepared for true peace. Dorian profoundly states she's prepared for everything. David tells her to tell the world and the Great One. Dorian loudly pronounces that she relinques everything she owns. David asks to whom. dorian drops the breathy vocalizations and says " to her family of course" David also drops his act a bit and says that doesn't work b/c she can still live here. He tells her to relinquish to someone she doesn't know like the homeless people. She gasps "NO!" but the she covers and says she said "MOE!" and she bows before Chef Moe and says she abdicates her possessions to him. It would rule if Moe and David are in on this together.
Todd's: Todd puts up with Ol Whats Her Name just long enough to enjoy watching the panic of being caught begin to creep across her face, and then he does that thing where he acts like he's an idiot just long enough that his victim tries to bolt, but then like a skilled predator, he strikes and grabs her by the arm and reveals the wire. Ah, Todd, you raping, sociopathic weirdo. Why do I love you so?
the end
Thursday, January 22, 2009
GH Recap 1/21: Hump Day
Drama Lit Cafe Interrogate: Why is Patrick wearing his very hot and heavy wool coat for all of this part? Did the power go out at PCPD, so he's wearing his coat for warmth? Patrick mumbles about how someone got sent to the OR by mistake. Raynor haughtily says "so you identified the patient" Patrick angrily says they did, but they didn't know what he was carrying or what was about to happen. Raynor asks when Patrick became aware that Mr. Bread...Brant? was a threat. Patrick sits and says he could tell from the xrays. Oh, Mr. Bragg? Raynor says this is strictly as Hallifiction mess, and they are strictly a janitorial service for it. Patrick angrily sputters "are you kidding me? a Mess? Why not a death trap that could have been prevented"
Winnie is sepia toned again and on the phone and talking about potential lists of victims. She lists Sonny, his wife, and Claudia was also in attendance, and they don't have a location on her at this time.
Cut to full color
Corinthaus: Claud is listening to Jerry Probst, and she's doing it in the living room, so I hope one of those upper NY state floods comes along and drowns her. Hey, a totally weird thing that I can't prove b/c I'm watching out of order is that Jerry Probst has the same vase Nik gives Robin on Thursday's episode. That is super weird. Claud starts crawling around, and Sonny, of course, walks in. Because Claud is actually dumber than Lucky.
Credits
Nurse's Station: patrick surprises Liz by showing up for work. Mr. Janowsky or someone is a patient. Liz teases Patrick. When are these two going to admit they are in love? Honestly, this is the flirtiest scene I've seen on this show in ages! Liz and Patrick gossip about Robin a bit. She apologizes if she overstepped. Patrick thanks her. He says she's mad at him and not her. He tells her how they got along really well when he saw her, and maybe he's been too hard on her. Liz says she won't take Robin's actions personally b/c it's stress related. Then she lies that she was really understanding to Lucky when he was addicted to drugs. That was random. But then Lucky shows up and flashes his dimples, and even I would want to go wherever he asked me to. He has tickets to some sold out show. oy. It's Disney on Ice. Oh, right. "never have children" sometimes I forget, but then someone talks about ice capades, and I remember I should really have my tubes tied. She'd love to go, but she has to work. They blather about video games and taxes like it's the best Chinese food ever. Patrick leaves sadly b/c in his heart, he's totally dumped Robin and set up shop with Liz. Don't want to hear otherwise, y'all. Liz and Patrick are so going to be a thing.
Patrick asks Liz about Disney on Ice. he offers to cover for her, but she's going to blow it off. Patrick is so in love with Liz, ya'll!
Later Layla hums to herself and Piph calls her on it. Piph guesses it's related to a man. Layla's smile is seen from the moon.
Patrick and Matt walk up and start talking about a patient with Liz. Liz and Patrick leave to see a patient.
The elevator opens and this woman in black with a black beret leans against the wall of the elevator. Because people totally really do that. She walks towards the nurse's station, and Matt says he hopes he can help her. the woman looks him up and down and says "that makes two of us" He says they should start with introductions and says he's Dr. Matt Hunter. She blinks and tilts her head, and says she's Gumchewily Shaw. They shake hands. She wants to be hired and is an x-ray tech. He says they are in desparate need of x-ray techs. She purrs and asks if he's flirting with her and asks to know where admin is. He tells her, and she leaves and calls out "nice to meetcha" She leaves and Liz and Patrick shows up and Matt says he just met a woman almost as pretty as Liz.
elsewhere, Layla tells Pip that she's engaged. An Iranian professional that she finally let her mother introduce her to a few months ago. Piph cutely says "still waters run deep!" Layla looks at his picture and muses she's so happy to be happy.
Metrocourt: Sam and the Z's are oddly meeting at the Metrocourt. Ric hotly says that the Z's don't require Sam's services at this time. Why is this meeting happening here? Wheels creepily (and delightfully) says it depends on Sam's services, b/c he has many needs. He even says "va va voom!" Sam sits and whispers that she's a great pilot and can land any cargo. Ric, more than reasonably says that she'll pass any info onto Jason. Oh, so case closed, and this unrealistic story line is abandoned! Oh, wait, no Wheels thinks it sounds smart. She says Ric hates her because they swiffered each other's brains out once in the moonlight. She says she and Jason are ancient history, and that is going to be obvious to Wheels b/c it's not like he'd bother to keep an eye on Jason's apartment and the people who come and go, and it's not like she's been there constantly in the past few weeks. Johnny walks by as Piano Guy plays 4 low notes. Wheels and Johnny have a stare down. Sam excuses herself. Wheels and Johnny fight a bit. Wheels says everything he's doing is for John, but John grumps that he gave it all to Sonny. Ric hotly warns Wheels that threatening John won't be likely to draw him back in. Wheels explains his ridiculously complicated plan. Ric says it's a smart move b/c what else do you say when someone says "look, I shot this one woman, so that her fiance would then go crazy and blame these other people, and then would go to his best friend, who he isn't allied with anymore b/c my daughter shot his son, so now he's going to ask that old friend for help, but I magically knew he wouldn't give it, so then I had him marry my daughter to give him power to get back at this old friend that he's mad at b/c I shot his fiance and let him think it was the Russians, so now this guy will get mad at his old friend and the old friend will not fight with him, so he'll kill him, and I'll win" I mean, it's not quite that convoluted, Wheel's actual lines, but it almost is. but Ric just says " I agree, it's a good move." Like he was really paying attention. Wheels says his plan is working. They just keep ramping up the pressure on Sonny to eliminate the threat. (or, couldn't they just shoot Jason?) Claud walks in after Wheels leaves and says to just know that Wheels is dangerous. She offers to give him hot comfort.
crimson: Maxie and Loo gossip about Spinelli and Johnny. Spinelli and Coleman had a meeting, and maxie is nervous about it. Maxie, by the way, is wearing a black pencil skirt, but the zipper in the back is a hot pink zipper. I can't say how much I love that touch. Maxie asks if Loo is really in love with Johnny or just needs to be. Loo snots at Maxie that it's not her beeswax. Maxie says that L&L have a legendary love, so maybe Loo is trying to live up to that and even Luke sees Johnny as a younger version of himself. Loo says this isn't so. Maxie says that the Loo an John are acting like it's the two of them against the world and always needing to have adventures. Loo asks Maxie what she's talking about, but Maxie knows what it's like to have a Super Couple for parents and wonders if Looloo is really in love or just doing what she thinks love is. It's an amusing sentiment, this one. Loo says Maxie maybe just needs a life, but Maxie is remarkably good at letting insults roll off her back when she's right and says she's just trying to have a conversation about this and maybe Loo should reflect. Loo spits back that Maxie treats Spinelli badly. Maxie says Spin is her friend, but John and Loo are in a relationship, and Johnny thinks she's the love of his life. he gave up his whole life for her, so if she's just trying to live out her parent's legend, she needs to be honest. "He'll figure it out for himself" and then Maxie goes back to work, and Looloo laughs the sarcastic laugh of someone who's just been put in her deserved place but hates it so just decides the accuser is an idiot. Maxie sits at her desk and sighs, as if she's wondering why she just said all that. Because no matter what she does, she always ends up being The Best.
Maxie berates someone on the phone. She somehow knows that Johnny is lying to Looloo that he's working at the hospital. he asks why she cares. She says if Loo finds out she's lying, he'll beat himself down. He asks if this is her way of telling her she's worried about him. She scoffs, but not very believably. Maxie tells Johnny he's trying too hard, and Loo has cast him as the Luke of her life. He says he doesn't get it. Maxie tells him to google LNL1. Johnny says he doesn't get it, so she backs off. but her seed has been planted. She grabs a bunch of files and again seems to be having a crisis of conscience. Loo shows up and asks if Johnny called. Maxie breezily said he didn't, but she looks guiltily over at Looloo, who stares ahead, clearly kind of freaked out.
(Looloo and her big stupid clutch answers a call from Kate. She's on her way to the office)
Jason's Penthouse: Carly and Jason talk about her benefit for Michael that she conceived of 8 hours ago and wants to have tonight, instead of actually planning it for months, like she should. She tells Jason about other parents who set out to find cures for their sons, and she can raise the money to find the cure for Michael. Jason says that lots of parents don't find it. Carly is indignant and says she can't sit around. She doesn't care if Michael is a little different but back. Jason passionately says it's what they all want. Carly says it's so hard to hang out at Whole Foods by his bed. jason sits with her and says he'd never tell her to give up. She sobs that tonight is about Michael and other kids, and to give their family's hope. If he wakes up, all the better. they end their meeting, an d she teases he can write a big check. She sadly says she knows he's not with Sonny b/c of her, but he says it was his call. They are sad about Michael, and she says she's working with Sonny for their son. They hug, and she leaves. He makes a call to Patrick.
Later Sam shows up and says she told Sam that she's good at piloting ships and he may be interested in hiring her. Jason hilariously asks "so what is the good news?" heh. Sam says she just said it. and Jason says you can't trust anything Wheels says. She says Ric was there and spilled how she's connected to everyone in town,a nd Jason thinks this is awful, but she bizarrely thinks it was perfect b/c she thinks she shot down all of Ric's objections. She thinks Wheels bought it. Jason asks what if she's wrong and this is a trap.
Sam decides that she should give Jason an ultimatum for her stupid "infiltrate the Other Mobsters" plan.
Corinthaus: Claud mutters about looking for an earring. They growl at each other a bit about how Sonny freed Johnny. She wants him to make nice with her father. She says one way is to get rid of Jason. Wow, that was really subtle, Claud. I'm sure Sonny won't see through that at all! Sonny asks why she's pushing so hard. She blathers about survival, and how Wheels turned her and Johnny's business to him. Sonny says he didn't really. Then he yells and points and stutter barks. Sonny growls he knows what he's doing. Claud rocks back and fortha nd says she doesn't know if that's true, and she agreed to this loveless, sexless marriage for the power. Sonny rubs his chin oddly and repeats "the power" Sonny is sort of Rain Man-y sometimes.
Later, John shows up to thank Sonny for getting Rube to recant his story. Sonny says he just wanted to make Johnny's stay at Gitmo: Paddeton right. Johnny then starts telling stories about the Cousin's Family That Were All Killed. Sonny is all "oh, did you ever get locked in a closet?" No, really, he asks if this was before Wheels was put on meds. John says nothing can tame Wheels. Sonny asks why he sounds proud. Sonny. Asks. Why. A. Man. Sounds. Proud. That. Someone. Can't. Be. Cured. With. Medication. Johnny mentions roses, so I have to go and make a drink. Sonny mutters about the Biz being passed to Johnny. Johnny says he doesn't want it. Sonny says he appreciates that and hopes Johnny succeeds. Johnny amazingly says that he doesn't think Sonny wants to succeed. He thinks Sonny wants to punish himself for what happened to his son. Sonny's eyes grow damp, but he stares menacingly. John says he married a woman he hates to punish himself, and that sort of thing gets you killed. Aw, your lips to God's ears, Johnny...because the show where Sonny actually got himself killed for what happened to Michael would be so super badass amazing. But this show is General Hospital...so ...not so much
Claud and Ric show up to "show each other some appreciation" She pours him a drink and grabs a bottle of water, and they head upstairs. While Sonny and Claud are downstairs, they start to do what Marvin Gaye suggested in that song. Sonny stops outside the door.
Sonny shows up from the terrace and Carly shows up, and she wants to talk about the Benefit. She says she talked to Jason. Sonny is annoyed. She said Jason raised Michael as much as they did. They bicker about how Sonny and Jason should make up tonight for Michael's sake. He needs to change his shoes. Carly cutely mumbles "his feet" heh. she stares up the stairs after Sonny. then a weird heavenly choir shings, and she picks up some CD's for no reason, and then she sees the weird Jerry Probst dvd and considers it.
Commercials
Winnie is sepia toned again and on the phone and talking about potential lists of victims. She lists Sonny, his wife, and Claudia was also in attendance, and they don't have a location on her at this time.
Cut to full color
Corinthaus: Claud is listening to Jerry Probst, and she's doing it in the living room, so I hope one of those upper NY state floods comes along and drowns her. Hey, a totally weird thing that I can't prove b/c I'm watching out of order is that Jerry Probst has the same vase Nik gives Robin on Thursday's episode. That is super weird. Claud starts crawling around, and Sonny, of course, walks in. Because Claud is actually dumber than Lucky.
Credits
Nurse's Station: patrick surprises Liz by showing up for work. Mr. Janowsky or someone is a patient. Liz teases Patrick. When are these two going to admit they are in love? Honestly, this is the flirtiest scene I've seen on this show in ages! Liz and Patrick gossip about Robin a bit. She apologizes if she overstepped. Patrick thanks her. He says she's mad at him and not her. He tells her how they got along really well when he saw her, and maybe he's been too hard on her. Liz says she won't take Robin's actions personally b/c it's stress related. Then she lies that she was really understanding to Lucky when he was addicted to drugs. That was random. But then Lucky shows up and flashes his dimples, and even I would want to go wherever he asked me to. He has tickets to some sold out show. oy. It's Disney on Ice. Oh, right. "never have children" sometimes I forget, but then someone talks about ice capades, and I remember I should really have my tubes tied. She'd love to go, but she has to work. They blather about video games and taxes like it's the best Chinese food ever. Patrick leaves sadly b/c in his heart, he's totally dumped Robin and set up shop with Liz. Don't want to hear otherwise, y'all. Liz and Patrick are so going to be a thing.
Patrick asks Liz about Disney on Ice. he offers to cover for her, but she's going to blow it off. Patrick is so in love with Liz, ya'll!
Later Layla hums to herself and Piph calls her on it. Piph guesses it's related to a man. Layla's smile is seen from the moon.
Patrick and Matt walk up and start talking about a patient with Liz. Liz and Patrick leave to see a patient.
The elevator opens and this woman in black with a black beret leans against the wall of the elevator. Because people totally really do that. She walks towards the nurse's station, and Matt says he hopes he can help her. the woman looks him up and down and says "that makes two of us" He says they should start with introductions and says he's Dr. Matt Hunter. She blinks and tilts her head, and says she's Gumchewily Shaw. They shake hands. She wants to be hired and is an x-ray tech. He says they are in desparate need of x-ray techs. She purrs and asks if he's flirting with her and asks to know where admin is. He tells her, and she leaves and calls out "nice to meetcha" She leaves and Liz and Patrick shows up and Matt says he just met a woman almost as pretty as Liz.
elsewhere, Layla tells Pip that she's engaged. An Iranian professional that she finally let her mother introduce her to a few months ago. Piph cutely says "still waters run deep!" Layla looks at his picture and muses she's so happy to be happy.
Metrocourt: Sam and the Z's are oddly meeting at the Metrocourt. Ric hotly says that the Z's don't require Sam's services at this time. Why is this meeting happening here? Wheels creepily (and delightfully) says it depends on Sam's services, b/c he has many needs. He even says "va va voom!" Sam sits and whispers that she's a great pilot and can land any cargo. Ric, more than reasonably says that she'll pass any info onto Jason. Oh, so case closed, and this unrealistic story line is abandoned! Oh, wait, no Wheels thinks it sounds smart. She says Ric hates her because they swiffered each other's brains out once in the moonlight. She says she and Jason are ancient history, and that is going to be obvious to Wheels b/c it's not like he'd bother to keep an eye on Jason's apartment and the people who come and go, and it's not like she's been there constantly in the past few weeks. Johnny walks by as Piano Guy plays 4 low notes. Wheels and Johnny have a stare down. Sam excuses herself. Wheels and Johnny fight a bit. Wheels says everything he's doing is for John, but John grumps that he gave it all to Sonny. Ric hotly warns Wheels that threatening John won't be likely to draw him back in. Wheels explains his ridiculously complicated plan. Ric says it's a smart move b/c what else do you say when someone says "look, I shot this one woman, so that her fiance would then go crazy and blame these other people, and then would go to his best friend, who he isn't allied with anymore b/c my daughter shot his son, so now he's going to ask that old friend for help, but I magically knew he wouldn't give it, so then I had him marry my daughter to give him power to get back at this old friend that he's mad at b/c I shot his fiance and let him think it was the Russians, so now this guy will get mad at his old friend and the old friend will not fight with him, so he'll kill him, and I'll win" I mean, it's not quite that convoluted, Wheel's actual lines, but it almost is. but Ric just says " I agree, it's a good move." Like he was really paying attention. Wheels says his plan is working. They just keep ramping up the pressure on Sonny to eliminate the threat. (or, couldn't they just shoot Jason?) Claud walks in after Wheels leaves and says to just know that Wheels is dangerous. She offers to give him hot comfort.
crimson: Maxie and Loo gossip about Spinelli and Johnny. Spinelli and Coleman had a meeting, and maxie is nervous about it. Maxie, by the way, is wearing a black pencil skirt, but the zipper in the back is a hot pink zipper. I can't say how much I love that touch. Maxie asks if Loo is really in love with Johnny or just needs to be. Loo snots at Maxie that it's not her beeswax. Maxie says that L&L have a legendary love, so maybe Loo is trying to live up to that and even Luke sees Johnny as a younger version of himself. Loo says this isn't so. Maxie says that the Loo an John are acting like it's the two of them against the world and always needing to have adventures. Loo asks Maxie what she's talking about, but Maxie knows what it's like to have a Super Couple for parents and wonders if Looloo is really in love or just doing what she thinks love is. It's an amusing sentiment, this one. Loo says Maxie maybe just needs a life, but Maxie is remarkably good at letting insults roll off her back when she's right and says she's just trying to have a conversation about this and maybe Loo should reflect. Loo spits back that Maxie treats Spinelli badly. Maxie says Spin is her friend, but John and Loo are in a relationship, and Johnny thinks she's the love of his life. he gave up his whole life for her, so if she's just trying to live out her parent's legend, she needs to be honest. "He'll figure it out for himself" and then Maxie goes back to work, and Looloo laughs the sarcastic laugh of someone who's just been put in her deserved place but hates it so just decides the accuser is an idiot. Maxie sits at her desk and sighs, as if she's wondering why she just said all that. Because no matter what she does, she always ends up being The Best.
Maxie berates someone on the phone. She somehow knows that Johnny is lying to Looloo that he's working at the hospital. he asks why she cares. She says if Loo finds out she's lying, he'll beat himself down. He asks if this is her way of telling her she's worried about him. She scoffs, but not very believably. Maxie tells Johnny he's trying too hard, and Loo has cast him as the Luke of her life. He says he doesn't get it. Maxie tells him to google LNL1. Johnny says he doesn't get it, so she backs off. but her seed has been planted. She grabs a bunch of files and again seems to be having a crisis of conscience. Loo shows up and asks if Johnny called. Maxie breezily said he didn't, but she looks guiltily over at Looloo, who stares ahead, clearly kind of freaked out.
(Looloo and her big stupid clutch answers a call from Kate. She's on her way to the office)
Jason's Penthouse: Carly and Jason talk about her benefit for Michael that she conceived of 8 hours ago and wants to have tonight, instead of actually planning it for months, like she should. She tells Jason about other parents who set out to find cures for their sons, and she can raise the money to find the cure for Michael. Jason says that lots of parents don't find it. Carly is indignant and says she can't sit around. She doesn't care if Michael is a little different but back. Jason passionately says it's what they all want. Carly says it's so hard to hang out at Whole Foods by his bed. jason sits with her and says he'd never tell her to give up. She sobs that tonight is about Michael and other kids, and to give their family's hope. If he wakes up, all the better. they end their meeting, an d she teases he can write a big check. She sadly says she knows he's not with Sonny b/c of her, but he says it was his call. They are sad about Michael, and she says she's working with Sonny for their son. They hug, and she leaves. He makes a call to Patrick.
Later Sam shows up and says she told Sam that she's good at piloting ships and he may be interested in hiring her. Jason hilariously asks "so what is the good news?" heh. Sam says she just said it. and Jason says you can't trust anything Wheels says. She says Ric was there and spilled how she's connected to everyone in town,a nd Jason thinks this is awful, but she bizarrely thinks it was perfect b/c she thinks she shot down all of Ric's objections. She thinks Wheels bought it. Jason asks what if she's wrong and this is a trap.
Sam decides that she should give Jason an ultimatum for her stupid "infiltrate the Other Mobsters" plan.
Corinthaus: Claud mutters about looking for an earring. They growl at each other a bit about how Sonny freed Johnny. She wants him to make nice with her father. She says one way is to get rid of Jason. Wow, that was really subtle, Claud. I'm sure Sonny won't see through that at all! Sonny asks why she's pushing so hard. She blathers about survival, and how Wheels turned her and Johnny's business to him. Sonny says he didn't really. Then he yells and points and stutter barks. Sonny growls he knows what he's doing. Claud rocks back and fortha nd says she doesn't know if that's true, and she agreed to this loveless, sexless marriage for the power. Sonny rubs his chin oddly and repeats "the power" Sonny is sort of Rain Man-y sometimes.
Later, John shows up to thank Sonny for getting Rube to recant his story. Sonny says he just wanted to make Johnny's stay at Gitmo: Paddeton right. Johnny then starts telling stories about the Cousin's Family That Were All Killed. Sonny is all "oh, did you ever get locked in a closet?" No, really, he asks if this was before Wheels was put on meds. John says nothing can tame Wheels. Sonny asks why he sounds proud. Sonny. Asks. Why. A. Man. Sounds. Proud. That. Someone. Can't. Be. Cured. With. Medication. Johnny mentions roses, so I have to go and make a drink. Sonny mutters about the Biz being passed to Johnny. Johnny says he doesn't want it. Sonny says he appreciates that and hopes Johnny succeeds. Johnny amazingly says that he doesn't think Sonny wants to succeed. He thinks Sonny wants to punish himself for what happened to his son. Sonny's eyes grow damp, but he stares menacingly. John says he married a woman he hates to punish himself, and that sort of thing gets you killed. Aw, your lips to God's ears, Johnny...because the show where Sonny actually got himself killed for what happened to Michael would be so super badass amazing. But this show is General Hospital...so ...not so much
Claud and Ric show up to "show each other some appreciation" She pours him a drink and grabs a bottle of water, and they head upstairs. While Sonny and Claud are downstairs, they start to do what Marvin Gaye suggested in that song. Sonny stops outside the door.
Sonny shows up from the terrace and Carly shows up, and she wants to talk about the Benefit. She says she talked to Jason. Sonny is annoyed. She said Jason raised Michael as much as they did. They bicker about how Sonny and Jason should make up tonight for Michael's sake. He needs to change his shoes. Carly cutely mumbles "his feet" heh. she stares up the stairs after Sonny. then a weird heavenly choir shings, and she picks up some CD's for no reason, and then she sees the weird Jerry Probst dvd and considers it.
Commercials
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