I've realized I somehow missed the bits of the show in which Robin stuck her baby in a tree.
I assume we are all bright enough to know real mothers suffer from PPD, and it's crippling and sad and something we all work together as loving, compassionate people to help the mother through. Just an FYI: don't stick your baby in a tree in a blizzard. Actually, let me correct myself. Don't stick your baby in a tree. Period. Lovely 4th of July morning: not appropriate for tree cribbing a baby! (see also: my blogs "Don't Stick Your Baby in a Taco Bell sign" and "Don't Stick Your Baby in a Microwave with Your Popcorn")
Also, I try to avoid spoilers, but does anyone know who is behind the cloning of Sam? It's been fun trying to guess which one of her is the original, and which one is the robot and which one is the clone. My guess this is all Cassadine related b/c of her relationship to Alexis. I guess in all the hub bub it's easy to miss, so I won't mock it too much for being unrealistic that no one has noticed that she's always at least 3 places at once.
GH: Jason and a Sam rush to Patrick and say they can't wait for the storm to move to evacuate b/c the whole place will be in flames.
Sonny's Inferno Area: Alas, Sonny wasn't remotely injured by the 85 exploding cans of oxygen. Sonny yells for Trevor and says he better be dead. Or maybe he said "better not be dead" Sonny is crazy.
GH hospital: Carly and Claud seem to be lost. Olivia wheels Kate by and Kate is still yammering about finding the stupid DVD. But Kate is an idiot and doesn't see Claud, so now Claud knows that Kate knows that Jerry knows that....I can't even remember what is so scandalous about the stupid dvd's.
Credits
Nurse's Station: Robin chastises Jax for actually putting a priority on his loved ones instead of avoiding babies like she likes to do. She even says "there are people and babies who need to be evacuated" Well, there are also babies dying of pneumonia b/c they were stuck in a tree like an effing frisbee.
GH Hall: Jason and Sam and Patrick continue to be the only firemen in the world. Sam suggests that they tell someone to land helicopters on the roof. But then she immediately turns to Jason and says "what if they can't land helicopters on the roof" Did someone forget to hire a 4th person for this scene to say that line, and so they had Sam schizophrenically contradict herself? Oh, this must be a robot Sam-clone,a nd the explosion is causing it to malfunction. Nevermind, it all makes sense again! Sonny shows up and says they have to get to the roof. It would be funny if he said "but what if we can't get to the roof?" but he doesn't. He does mention the toxin. Jason thinks they are contained, but Sonny says Trevor had the missing sphere. Jason stammeringly asks where Trevor is right now, and Sonny says he had him cornered, but then the 85 oxygen tanks blew up in an explosion that is smaller than wet mesquite on a fire popping a bit. Sam realizes they are going to need more clones of her.
GH Other Hall: Kate taunts Claud. Why bother? Why not just loudly state that Claud was involved in Michael's shooting? Why this cat and mouse nonsense? Soooooooo annoying.
Commercials
Tracy is suffering from toxins. Looloo says if anything happens to Tracy, Luke would never forgive her. Really? It sort of seems like it should be opposite. oh, unless Looloo means if she bored Tracy to death with her whining about her tedious love life. That would make sense. Tracy really seems to be in a great deal of respiratory distress. Tracy tells Loo to leave and save herself, but Looloo won't. Is Tracy trapped under a giant invisible beam? Why can't Looloo just roll her to safety?
Nik wheels Monica down the hall with Edward close at his heels. They all stop moving for some reason so they can sit around in chat. Because a nice heart to heart whilst in a burning building makes a lot of sense! Edward says Nik is a good guy. Monica then has to drone on about the NUMB magical love of adultery and murder and pirates or whatever. Nik says he still feels like Emily is with him. Didn't he just see Chewbecca? Why is he not warning them, "oh, and a connoh version of your family member is roaming the hospital"
Jason and one of the Sams talk about saving the day or whatever.
Spinelli and Weenie sit around with El Laptopo IN A BURNING EFFING BUILDING and chat about whatever. What is wrong with these people? What part of giant inferno is causing them to have no sense of urgency whatsoever? Patrick shows up to say the stairwells are blocked (of course they are), so they need helicopters on the roof.
Piph and Robin yell through a doorway as if there are dozens of patients there, and they give the invisible extras instructions on how to evacuate. Oh, I guess there are ambulances waiting outside? Good Mother doesn't want to go outside b/c she has a wee baby and doesn't want the baby to be cold. Robin listens to this and wonders what on earth this woman is talking about.
Why won't anyone call the fire department?
Olivia FINALLY yells at Kate to just shut the eff up about the stupid dvd. Go Olivia! Carly busts out laughing and says that was worth this entire hellacious night. Kate is impossibly snippy about this and says Carly deserves bad things to happen to her. Sonny walks in and has to face all the women he has slept with and will be sleeping with for the forseeable future. Olivia hilariously says "well this is awkward" ha! Sonny agrees. Claud's nostrils start flaring like she's a dang bunny rabbit, and we see the bleepity bleeping dvd just lying around on the floor. Even though it was just in a supply closet 2 minutes ago. I guess it has developed Samian cloning and ubiquity skills? That's terrifying!
Commercials
Spinny and Weenie yammer to Patrick about reaching Raynor. Sam #14 rushes by to randomly ask what's up, and Weenie tells her Patrick is calling Mac. lmfao that I think Sam literally just ran by to ask that and ran off. It turns out she was just not in the shot, but that would have ruled. "hey guys, what's up? woot woot woot , gotta keep moving to make sure to run into everyone by the end of the hour!" Patrick says Mac has some sort of evac plan, but Sam14 says it won't work.
Awkward gathering: Everyone bickers about the pecking order for Sonny's pecker. It's all so beneath me (and I watch Gossip Girl!) that I can't pay attention. Sonny leaves to go get trapped somewhere, and Olivia flounces off, pushing Kate. Carly asks Claud what that was all about. Claud brushes Carly off so she can be alone with the stupid dvd.
Why is everyone hanging around in 50 different rooms and not leaving? Why aren't they being coralled together? Why do I keep expecting anything to make sense? "the building is on fire and full of toxins. Quick! Everyone scatter!" Edward leaves to be with Tracy. But again, why the eff can't they ALL go be with Tracy? I know it's so we get to enjoy this barfable moment of Monica and Nik remembering NUMB. Nadine walks up and overhears Nik professing his undying l ove for Emily and how once in a lifetime it is. (yes, ask Zander. He loved Emily until the day he died.)
Jason rushes around a burning room and calls out to see if anyone is there. He finds Chewbecca passed out. He turns her over and is very surprised to see someone who looks just like Nurse Jessie Brewer! oh, I mean, just like Emily!
Commercials
Jason looks confused and wonders if he's accidentally gone through the stairway to 2006. He decides he'll figure it out later, and scoops up Chewbecca to get her out of harm's way.
Edward and Tracy lounge around while the building burns down because they swallowed the Idiot Pills too, I guess. She tells him she's fine and is going to put him in the chair. She looks about ready to pass out, though, and he giggles that he loves her. aw, so cute!
Liz and Looloo lounge around. Liz says if something happens to her, Lucky is going to need Loo'shelp. Loo adamantly says she'll always be helpful, but Liz is going to get better. She tells her not to give up. Liz's head sinks in exhuastion. Looloo stares at her with grave concern. Nadine shows up to ask how things are. Um, you mean other than dying of toxins in a burning building? Well, yes, Nadine other than that, totally peachy. the hell? Loo says Liz is fighting. and then she gets up to go somewhere else Which makes no sense. Oh, they are at least in the same room with Edward and Tracy, so that is almost logical.
Lucky remembered to be helpful finally. He's working with something called a fi er fy tur. No idea what that is or how to spell it. Robin asks him to tell Patrick that she's fine if she sees him.
Sam14 decides that she's going to find a fire extinguisher to clear the stairwell. She tells Spinelli to stay here and monitor communications. Because suddenly the laptop with the 58 year battery isn't mobile?
Claud wheels her way towards the dvd. Carly shows up and asks what she's doing. Claud says she's waiting here so that Sonny will save her. I know it's a lie to get rid of Carly, but it's still gross to listen to. Carly is suspicious, but she also oddly has a fear of burning to death so she leaves.
Sonny and Olivia and Kate are at some random other place on this floor that I guess is somehow safer than the random other part where Claudia is? Kate says she has to tell Sonny something, and it can't wait.
Commercials
Sonny says now is not a good time. Kate swears it will only take a minute, but Sonny says he has to get Carly. Um, what the hell? Why couldn't Carly have just come with him 5 minutes ago? Is the hallway only wide enough for 3 egos at a time, or something? lol. I can't believe how it just keeps getting stupider. Sonny leaves, and Olivia, who has been covering her face in embarassment for her lame cousin says that Kate is out of control.
Patrick gets all whispery and sad to Shawn douglas b/c he's terrified for his wife and baby. Well, luckily, Patrick, your baby is safe and far away from Robin. I doubt the nice people at Mercy will shove her in an oven or something. Even though they are oddly disclosing her medical condition to non-parents.
Elsewhere, Robin has to pick up a baby. She manages to do it and not stick it in a duct or the freezer, so maybe she's finally healing.
Sonny and Carly meet up whilst wandering around aimlessly.
Jason sets Chewbecally down on a gurney. Oh, gawd, We're so back to the endless heavy breathing. She thanks him for saving her, but he's just staring at her. She says typically you say "you're welcome" He apologizes and says his sister died and looked just like her. Sam03 runs into the room, and I burst out laughing because I know that Sam14 is putting out a stairwell fire with an extiguisher. Sam03 does a double take at Chewbecca, and Chewbecca uncomfortably realizes she really must look like this dead girl. Sam03 stares at Chewbecca while asking Jason to go help Sam14 put out the fire in the stairwell. He's too freaked out by Chewbecca to disagree, so he leaves. Chewbecca asks who that was and Sam03 says it's Superjase.
I missed a scene.
Spinelli and Weenie yammer about how he's so brave and never afraid. He says he sometimes leaps and makes situations worse. He says fear is wisdom in disguise. She feels better about this. Carly has aimlessly wandered over to Spinelli and Weenie. They inform her about the Roof Rescue idea, but the winds are too high, so it's unsafe. ( Oh, whoops, I forgot to tell y'all about the idiotic idea Jax had to try to land a helicopter in a BLIZZARD on the roof. )El Laptopo gently breaks the news to Carly that Jax is piloting the helicopter. the hell? Why would this be broadcast over the internet? Meaning, the way things are going, I'm surprised they didn't hire a team of soccer players to write the information on a soccer ball and then kick the ball all over the hospital to inform everyone. Much more in keeping with the theme of the show.
Claud has gotten out of her chair and is crawling towards the dvd...b/c somehow she believes this spends less energy than simply wheeling herself over to it. Sonny has aimlessly wandered back to this part of the floor and says he knew he'd catch her.
commercials
Robin holds the baby and tells her it's okay. Why are they just now evacuating the nursery? That's so mean. Poor babies! Robin once again starts discussing things with a baby. She forces herself not to stick the baby in a trash can.
Edward and Monica sit around and talk about Emily b/c it's not like anything of interest has happened to them since she died. Chewbecca and Sam03 walk around the corner at this moment, and Monica gasps "Emily!" and then Chewbecca gives her a half bitchface, so now I am very certain I can just loathe her and not feel bad about it.
Lucky rushes to Liz, and they embrace.
Oliva and Kate sit around and bicker about Sonny. Kate says when Sonny finds out the truth about Claud. Olivia hisses "what truth?" But then Sonny wheels Claud to this same area.
Roof: Carly and Spinelli watch Jax flail about in the helicopter. Carly helpfully screams out "Jax, no!" Spinelli says he thinks Jax is going to crash. oh, to be so lucky if he'd crash and blow up the rest of the hospital, so then the survivors could aimlessly wander about, moving one at a time from room to room.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
OLTL Recap 2/10: Starr- Crossed Mothers
Buchansion: Bo and Nora are dodgy with Matthew and Cole about some family business. Then Matthew leaves to catch "the bus", which, I'm so sure the bus has a stop outside a giant, mansion that is basically located on a ranch, but whatever.
Gatehouse: Gigi comes home to find Roxie lounging on the sofa. Also, Shane isn't at school, and Roxie gave him a spiky hair do. It's not that alarming, in the least, but Gigi freaks out like he has bolts in his neck, or something.
Dorian's: Vicki shows up to visit Dorian and runs into Stubbs and his wife. They are hilariously dressed in tiaras and smoking jackets and jubilantly tell Vicki that Dorian gave them her house.
Buchansion: Clint angrily tells Nora that according to the will, David can rush in and evict them. Ha, that's going to be so awesome.
Hotel or somewhere: Dorian doesn't want to stay somewhere, at this motel, I guess? But David says he thought she wanted to change her life for him and asks if this was a lie? I love that I have no idea how many levels of conning are going on.
Credits
Buchansion: Cole sends Matthew off on the 14 mile hike to the nearest bus stop, so he can hang around and brood and do drugs. Rex shows up and joins the Buchanon et al meeting in progress.
Motel or somewhere: Dorian explains that she's a well known person in this town, and once word of their marriage is out the paps will storm the Zen Center. David wants everyone to know they are soul mates, but she insists that no one can know. David says she gets secretive when she's up to something and asks what she's up to now. She tries to think of a quick lie. Why wouldn't she have 25 lies at the ready? She's Dorian, for heaven's sakes!
Commercials
Buchansion Exterior: Cole decides to phelps up a michael and says "the day is looking better already" Cole, don't smoke pot on your doorstep. Super lame.
St. Anne's: group therapy. Doctor wants to talk to Brody about the Iraqi boy. Wiggy Looking Lady Patient taunts that Brody misses Jessica. He admits he does. Aw, he lurves her.
Zen Center or Motel or Whatever: Dorian covers and says she's not perfect, and if she's not right for him, he should leave her. David then says he secretly ate a BLT at the airport while she was in the bathroom. Dorian cutely says "you did not!" He serenely says he did, and maybe he'll be a pig in his next life, so be it. omg. these two. He says it is not the path to be perfect, but to try to be the best one can be. Dorian earnestly says she is trying.
Buchansion: Rex tells the gathered that he lost David and Dorian.
Stubb's New House: Stubbs explains to Vicki that they have a contract with Dorian. They also explain they are married now. Vicki tries to keep her head from exploding.
Buchansion: Rex continues he lost them at an ashram, and they aren't at her house, or what used to be her house. He apologizes for blowing it and says he'll resign from the case if they want.
Motel?: David says Dorian outed Jared as not really being the Buchanan heir. She thinks she did the Buchs a favor and as far as she knows no one is posing as the actual heir. He muses that someone is out there and a billionaire and doesn't even know it. (my hat)
Commercials
St. Anne's: Brody recaps that when he came to town, he pretended to be a family with Gigi and Shane, but he lied to her and the kid. He says he was living this lie to avoid his past, so he ended up here, fresh out of lies. (Jessica eaveslurks from the doorway, which is remarkably unethical of her, but I want them to fall in love so who cares) Brody says he met Jessica, and he started to feel whole and stuff again, and he never got to tell her. Jessica steps out of hiding and Wiggy Lady Patient mutters "speak of the devil" and asks Jessica if she's going to stay.
Gatehouse: Gigi continues to be an idiot about Shane's perfectly normal looking kid hair. Honestly, it's not remotely scandalous. Roxie leaves, and Shane tells Gigi not to be mad at Roxie b/c it was fun to make her happy, and he likes the hair b/c it reminds him of Rex. (who also has not particularly wacky hair. it's about as basic of a cut as you can get unless you use a bowl)
Stubb's House: Vicki is looking for Dorian b/c she needs help with the ball. Stubb's says they haven't seen her since they left for Vegas. Vicki mutters that the Stubb's may not be the only newlyweds in town.
Motel or somewhere: Dorian and David continue their power struggle about keeping their marriage a secret. This scene is intercut with the Bo/Rex on. Dorian wants to announce their marriage at the Go Red Ball. Dorian says she can cancel, but she has to let Vicki know. David agrees to go to the ball with her. She is jubilant and promises that after tonight, she'll do whatever he wishes, because she really loves him. He says he really loves her too. Then he kisses her forehead. I think she's telling the truth, but I'm still not sure about him. But I never am, and thus my love for him endures.
Buchansion: Bo and Rex continue their bromance as Bo sticks up for Rex, even though he failed at his job. Bo privately tells Rex that he wants him to go to the Ball and do a really bad job there as well. He tells him to bring Gigi and get a tux. Rex says Dorian is in a new mode to give away all her belongings. Bo muses "there is no such animal." heh.
Commercials
Gatehouse: Gigi finally gets over Shane's haircut. Shane says he's lucky to have Rex and Shane. Gigi says having his is the best thing she ever did. She tells him to catch the bus and begs him not to get a tattoo the next time he's with Roxie. Rex shows up because apparently the people in this town do 800 things before school starts. Did they all get up with the roosters? Rex loves the haircut.
St. Anne's: Brody is embarassed that Jessica heard, but she sweetly tells him she misses him too, and it puts such an adorable smile on his face.
Buchansion Exterior: Bo obviously smells the pot smell because there are few odors as distinct and easily recognizable. (though at a Bruce Springstein concert as a kid, I kept telling my mom that somebody had some seriously bad body odor...because I was 12, so why would I know it was just skunk weed?)
LHS: Langston is annoyed that Starr is helping Dillon with a project.
I missed a scene.
Motel: Oh, this is that motel that Roxie runs, I guess. I didn't recognize it for some reason until now. Roxie asks David if he's going commando under his robes. heh. She also says she gives Dorian about a week with the no earthly possessions thing. Dorian says they need a room, and David clarifies they want the smallest room. Dorian tries not to cry. She sends David up to meditate while she runs some errands for the ball. David serenely says "I love you lemon ball." Aw, I want to be called lemon ball! David leaves, and Dorian busts out a horse choking wad of cash. She starts laying $100's down on the table and sternly says no one is to know she and David are there. She keeps laying down bills until Roxie's eyes light up and are satisfied. Roxie happily scoops up her cash and drawls "now that'st the Dorian I know."
Commercials
St. Anne's: Brody and Jessica are in mid discussion about Natalie. Jessica says her daughters love Natalie. She gets a bit sad and says it hurts, and it was easier being crazy in here with him. She sadly says that Natalie said she's more of a mother to Bree than Jessica ever was, and she says it sometimes seems true. Aw.
Llanview HS: Cole has put visine in his eyes and chews gum. Also, he's kind of grumpy with the guy Langston is dating. Why can't I remember his name?
Dillon and Starr talk about their horrible parents.
Gatehouse: Oh, what the hell? Rex managed to go to a meeting AND pick up a dress, all before Shane left for school? What evening gown store is open before 8am? Rex says the Buchs let him put the dress on their expense account. Gigi loves the dress. That blond chick, who I think is called Stacy, lurks from the doorway. I guess she got up at the crack of dawn as well. Early risers, these Llanviewians.
Motel Roxie: I missed what the guy looked like, but he wears one of those leather jackets with the fringe on them and asks Roxie if she's seen David. and then just like on all TV shows, instead of having a reasonable, candid shot of the guy, he has one of Tuc Watkins head shots. All poised and perfectly lit with his head tilted.
Commercials
Stubb'sboulet: Dorian has shown up and overheard Vicki dissing her. Dorian manages to take the high road and says she's transformed and not angry about earthly things. Vicki manages not to laugh in her face, because how do you solve a problem like Dorian? Dorian asks if there is anything to be done with the ball, and Vicki gives her an "only everything" face.
Gatehouse: Rex says he's going to find David and Dorian so they can't ruin the party. Gigi oddly becomes a cheerleader and says "you can do it Balsam!" I don't mean to be so annoyed by Gigi, but I am.
Stubbsboulet: Vicki says there is nothing to do, and since Dorian did the "nothing", Vicki did the "everything" Dorian says Vicki is very enlightened. Oh my hell, Vicki is indeed very enlightened not to give Dorian a knuckle sandwich. Dorian asks if she can borrow one of her dresses to wear.
Motel Roxie: Jacket guy continues to query Roxie about David.
Stubbsboulet: Dorian starts up the stairs and strikes a pose and says she thinks tonight is going to be really special. She asks for Noel's help, and they head upstairs to find a hemp dress and Birkenstocks, I guess. Stubb's tells Vicki that Dorian is up to something, Vicki is all "duh"
Llanview HS: Bo and Nora have shown up to randomly wander the school grounds and accuse Matthew of smoking pot. Backed into a corner, Matthew rats Cole out. Cole overhears.
Starr and Dillon continue their highly inappropriate relationship.
St. Anne's: Jessica sobs that she doesn't feel like Chloe's mother.
Llanview HS: Starr says she held Jessica's baby, and ever since that day, she can't stop thinking about her own baby. Then she grabs hold of her heart shaped necklace.
the end.
Gatehouse: Gigi comes home to find Roxie lounging on the sofa. Also, Shane isn't at school, and Roxie gave him a spiky hair do. It's not that alarming, in the least, but Gigi freaks out like he has bolts in his neck, or something.
Dorian's: Vicki shows up to visit Dorian and runs into Stubbs and his wife. They are hilariously dressed in tiaras and smoking jackets and jubilantly tell Vicki that Dorian gave them her house.
Buchansion: Clint angrily tells Nora that according to the will, David can rush in and evict them. Ha, that's going to be so awesome.
Hotel or somewhere: Dorian doesn't want to stay somewhere, at this motel, I guess? But David says he thought she wanted to change her life for him and asks if this was a lie? I love that I have no idea how many levels of conning are going on.
Credits
Buchansion: Cole sends Matthew off on the 14 mile hike to the nearest bus stop, so he can hang around and brood and do drugs. Rex shows up and joins the Buchanon et al meeting in progress.
Motel or somewhere: Dorian explains that she's a well known person in this town, and once word of their marriage is out the paps will storm the Zen Center. David wants everyone to know they are soul mates, but she insists that no one can know. David says she gets secretive when she's up to something and asks what she's up to now. She tries to think of a quick lie. Why wouldn't she have 25 lies at the ready? She's Dorian, for heaven's sakes!
Commercials
Buchansion Exterior: Cole decides to phelps up a michael and says "the day is looking better already" Cole, don't smoke pot on your doorstep. Super lame.
St. Anne's: group therapy. Doctor wants to talk to Brody about the Iraqi boy. Wiggy Looking Lady Patient taunts that Brody misses Jessica. He admits he does. Aw, he lurves her.
Zen Center or Motel or Whatever: Dorian covers and says she's not perfect, and if she's not right for him, he should leave her. David then says he secretly ate a BLT at the airport while she was in the bathroom. Dorian cutely says "you did not!" He serenely says he did, and maybe he'll be a pig in his next life, so be it. omg. these two. He says it is not the path to be perfect, but to try to be the best one can be. Dorian earnestly says she is trying.
Buchansion: Rex tells the gathered that he lost David and Dorian.
Stubb's New House: Stubbs explains to Vicki that they have a contract with Dorian. They also explain they are married now. Vicki tries to keep her head from exploding.
Buchansion: Rex continues he lost them at an ashram, and they aren't at her house, or what used to be her house. He apologizes for blowing it and says he'll resign from the case if they want.
Motel?: David says Dorian outed Jared as not really being the Buchanan heir. She thinks she did the Buchs a favor and as far as she knows no one is posing as the actual heir. He muses that someone is out there and a billionaire and doesn't even know it. (my hat)
Commercials
St. Anne's: Brody recaps that when he came to town, he pretended to be a family with Gigi and Shane, but he lied to her and the kid. He says he was living this lie to avoid his past, so he ended up here, fresh out of lies. (Jessica eaveslurks from the doorway, which is remarkably unethical of her, but I want them to fall in love so who cares) Brody says he met Jessica, and he started to feel whole and stuff again, and he never got to tell her. Jessica steps out of hiding and Wiggy Lady Patient mutters "speak of the devil" and asks Jessica if she's going to stay.
Gatehouse: Gigi continues to be an idiot about Shane's perfectly normal looking kid hair. Honestly, it's not remotely scandalous. Roxie leaves, and Shane tells Gigi not to be mad at Roxie b/c it was fun to make her happy, and he likes the hair b/c it reminds him of Rex. (who also has not particularly wacky hair. it's about as basic of a cut as you can get unless you use a bowl)
Stubb's House: Vicki is looking for Dorian b/c she needs help with the ball. Stubb's says they haven't seen her since they left for Vegas. Vicki mutters that the Stubb's may not be the only newlyweds in town.
Motel or somewhere: Dorian and David continue their power struggle about keeping their marriage a secret. This scene is intercut with the Bo/Rex on. Dorian wants to announce their marriage at the Go Red Ball. Dorian says she can cancel, but she has to let Vicki know. David agrees to go to the ball with her. She is jubilant and promises that after tonight, she'll do whatever he wishes, because she really loves him. He says he really loves her too. Then he kisses her forehead. I think she's telling the truth, but I'm still not sure about him. But I never am, and thus my love for him endures.
Buchansion: Bo and Rex continue their bromance as Bo sticks up for Rex, even though he failed at his job. Bo privately tells Rex that he wants him to go to the Ball and do a really bad job there as well. He tells him to bring Gigi and get a tux. Rex says Dorian is in a new mode to give away all her belongings. Bo muses "there is no such animal." heh.
Commercials
Gatehouse: Gigi finally gets over Shane's haircut. Shane says he's lucky to have Rex and Shane. Gigi says having his is the best thing she ever did. She tells him to catch the bus and begs him not to get a tattoo the next time he's with Roxie. Rex shows up because apparently the people in this town do 800 things before school starts. Did they all get up with the roosters? Rex loves the haircut.
St. Anne's: Brody is embarassed that Jessica heard, but she sweetly tells him she misses him too, and it puts such an adorable smile on his face.
Buchansion Exterior: Bo obviously smells the pot smell because there are few odors as distinct and easily recognizable. (though at a Bruce Springstein concert as a kid, I kept telling my mom that somebody had some seriously bad body odor...because I was 12, so why would I know it was just skunk weed?)
LHS: Langston is annoyed that Starr is helping Dillon with a project.
I missed a scene.
Motel: Oh, this is that motel that Roxie runs, I guess. I didn't recognize it for some reason until now. Roxie asks David if he's going commando under his robes. heh. She also says she gives Dorian about a week with the no earthly possessions thing. Dorian says they need a room, and David clarifies they want the smallest room. Dorian tries not to cry. She sends David up to meditate while she runs some errands for the ball. David serenely says "I love you lemon ball." Aw, I want to be called lemon ball! David leaves, and Dorian busts out a horse choking wad of cash. She starts laying $100's down on the table and sternly says no one is to know she and David are there. She keeps laying down bills until Roxie's eyes light up and are satisfied. Roxie happily scoops up her cash and drawls "now that'st the Dorian I know."
Commercials
St. Anne's: Brody and Jessica are in mid discussion about Natalie. Jessica says her daughters love Natalie. She gets a bit sad and says it hurts, and it was easier being crazy in here with him. She sadly says that Natalie said she's more of a mother to Bree than Jessica ever was, and she says it sometimes seems true. Aw.
Llanview HS: Cole has put visine in his eyes and chews gum. Also, he's kind of grumpy with the guy Langston is dating. Why can't I remember his name?
Dillon and Starr talk about their horrible parents.
Gatehouse: Oh, what the hell? Rex managed to go to a meeting AND pick up a dress, all before Shane left for school? What evening gown store is open before 8am? Rex says the Buchs let him put the dress on their expense account. Gigi loves the dress. That blond chick, who I think is called Stacy, lurks from the doorway. I guess she got up at the crack of dawn as well. Early risers, these Llanviewians.
Motel Roxie: I missed what the guy looked like, but he wears one of those leather jackets with the fringe on them and asks Roxie if she's seen David. and then just like on all TV shows, instead of having a reasonable, candid shot of the guy, he has one of Tuc Watkins head shots. All poised and perfectly lit with his head tilted.
Commercials
Stubb'sboulet: Dorian has shown up and overheard Vicki dissing her. Dorian manages to take the high road and says she's transformed and not angry about earthly things. Vicki manages not to laugh in her face, because how do you solve a problem like Dorian? Dorian asks if there is anything to be done with the ball, and Vicki gives her an "only everything" face.
Gatehouse: Rex says he's going to find David and Dorian so they can't ruin the party. Gigi oddly becomes a cheerleader and says "you can do it Balsam!" I don't mean to be so annoyed by Gigi, but I am.
Stubbsboulet: Vicki says there is nothing to do, and since Dorian did the "nothing", Vicki did the "everything" Dorian says Vicki is very enlightened. Oh my hell, Vicki is indeed very enlightened not to give Dorian a knuckle sandwich. Dorian asks if she can borrow one of her dresses to wear.
Motel Roxie: Jacket guy continues to query Roxie about David.
Stubbsboulet: Dorian starts up the stairs and strikes a pose and says she thinks tonight is going to be really special. She asks for Noel's help, and they head upstairs to find a hemp dress and Birkenstocks, I guess. Stubb's tells Vicki that Dorian is up to something, Vicki is all "duh"
Llanview HS: Bo and Nora have shown up to randomly wander the school grounds and accuse Matthew of smoking pot. Backed into a corner, Matthew rats Cole out. Cole overhears.
Starr and Dillon continue their highly inappropriate relationship.
St. Anne's: Jessica sobs that she doesn't feel like Chloe's mother.
Llanview HS: Starr says she held Jessica's baby, and ever since that day, she can't stop thinking about her own baby. Then she grabs hold of her heart shaped necklace.
the end.
Monday, February 9, 2009
GH Recap 2/9: Happy Birthday, Mr. Mad
Cute hubby's birthday is today, but he has to work all day. Totally unfair.
I only saw the end of Friday, but I seem to recall that Spinelli had for some reason, joined Weenie in the OR to contain the Spheres of Stupidity, but then somehow they can't even do that right, so they blew everything up.
Oh, looks like we are seeing the end of Friday in its entirety.
Claud's room: Trevor grumps that Sonny is going to kill Wheels for them.
Chapel: Wheels begs for his life, and Jason begs Sonny not to kill Wheels.
OR of Spherian Stupidity: Trevor has the missing sphere! Doh!
Chapel: Sonny says Wheels tried to take everything. Wheels whimpers, and Sonny puts a bullet in the wall over Wheel's head, bellowing for him to shut up.
GH Exterior: Robin, Maxie and Johnny have finally made it to GH with the Emmacicle, but Jax informs them it's shut down. Because no one owns phones and thought to call anyone to tell them this.
Chapel: Sonny head butts Wheels to knock him out and bellowbarks about wanting to kill Wheels, but he's not, just for Jason, because Jason is coming out of his skin, or whatever. Jason thanks him.
Claud's Room: Trevor brandishes the stupid stolen sphere and blathers about going to Costa Rica. Carly walks in and sees the stupid missing sphere.
GH Exterior: Jax recaps that some very confusing biotoxins have invaded only certain lungs in the hospital.
OR Room of Spheres: blah blah, it all explodes. Because why wouldn't it?
Credits
OR Room: An annoying buzzer sounds. It reminds me of the one that was trying to tell Ripley she had three minutes to get to minimum safe distance, while she insanely badassedly strapped on 85 guns and went to save Newt. Gawd, I wish I was watching that movie instead. Anyhoo, Weenie and Spinelli are fine.
Nurse's station: Piph and Lucky yammer about saving the day.
Hospital Room: See, this is why this is stupid b/c everyone is just running willy nilly, and now there is no way to contain all the people in the hospital. Sam and Looloo run into each other, and Loo is alarmed that Sam lost Spinelli. Because he's a poodle, I guess.
Claud's Room: They all react to the explosion. Somehow Trevor knows there is a raging fire.
Chapel: Sonny asks Jason to run a Borg Mapping Program, and Jason does and discerns the explosion came from an OR. then Sonny takes off to get trapped under a beam or in a stairwell or something stupid so that Jason has to save him and Leyla or someone else kind of cool dies again.
PCPD: Raynor gets a call about the explosion, and I'm sure he says something like "great. Three episodes from now, it's going to occur to me to call the fire department. Until then, I'm just going to rely on Jason and Sam to find all the fire extiguishers." He also breaks the news to Robin that there was an explosion. Why isn't she on her way to Mercy Hospital to get her poor, dying baby some medical care? OH, that's right, because she's dreadful.
Commercials
Would I be more disappointed as a parent if my daughter had a litter of babies? Or went on the Bachelor to find a boyfriend? It's really hard for me to say.
Aggravating Bar that is Not Jake's: Aggravating because Ethan and Luke are STILL hanging out and yammering endlessly about whatever it is they are talking about. If it's not about a murder-suicide pact, I'm not interested.
GH Room: Jason carries Wheels to a bed and straps him in. Kinky! Wheels oddly asks Jason what he's doing. Why would he really find this development surprising? Also, Wheels smells the fire and is worried he'll be left to die in the fire. Jason says he has to trust him. Wheels laughs that he's officially under the protection of Jason Morgan. Then he laughs like an adorable crazy old coot and says he's the safest man in the building.
GH Smoky Room: Weenie and Spinelli try to out do each other in the "what in the blazes are you TALKING about" department. She is sort of crying, but I still always expect her to say "Superstar!" and then fall down and flash her underwear, so I have no capacity for taking her seriously.
More blown up GH rooms: Nik and Patrick work together with fire extinguishers and such. We also see Kate's purse and Jerry Probst's DVD on the floor.
PCPD Camper: Maxie reminds everyone about the tiny, frozen, dying baby. Robin says she needs to hang out here to help with the evacuation, so will Maxie and Johnny please take Emmacicle to Mercy Hospital.
Kate's Room: Olivia yells at Kate and asks if she's been hospitalized so many times that she doesn't understand it's actually serious? heh. Kate is obsessed with the stupid dvd, and asks again for her cousin to risk her life to get it. Where is Chucky and his pillow when you need him?
Claud's Room: Claud and Carly share a snarl that Trevor is being a bad guy and taking advantage of a situation b/c they only do that when they are trying to get laid or married. Trevor leaves with the toxin, and Carly says he's crazy.
Commercials
Johnny's car: Johnny and Maxie drive in the snow to Mercy hospital. Maxie is holding Emma in her lap b/c if there's ever a time one should not have a car seat is IN A BLIZZARD. They really couldn't have taken the time to get the one from Robin's car? I saw a devastating Oprah about this, and say what you want about that aggravating woman, I can promise that she taught me to never drive with a baby without a car seat! Anyhoo, Maxie says she's not maternal, even though she's holding the baby and getting her to sleep even though she's sick. Johnny is still whining that he's got a secret. A secret he's had for a year and only started bothering him 12 minutes ago, but whatever.
GH Smoky Room: Jason, Loo, Spinelli and Weenie all meet up. Jason runs a Plot Point Negotiator Program and easily discerns the cause of the explosion. I love that they don't even bother to have him be a bit sketchy about any details. He simply rattles off EXACTLY what happened as if it's so OBVIOUS. but if it were so obvious, why didn't Superjase bother to unplug the explosionator thingy when he was there before? Not that I expect Superjase to do everything b/c it's way more awesome for the room to have blown up, anyway.
GH Doorways: Piph fights with three sloppy extras who are clamboring to leave.
GH Lobby: Sonny and Carly meet up and manage not to have panic sex on the sofa b/c they still have loved ones to think about. He does seem to imply "meet ya at the bathtub when this is done" though.
Wheel's Room: Trevor shows up to taunt Wheels.
Oxygen Storage: So none of these numbnuts have bothered to consider that fire + oxygen storage = RIP. But Camara Guy is totally onto it, and he leaves us a shot of the labeled oxygen storage room. Like he's one of those chuckle heads on Amazing Race or a show like that, and clues the audience in that the team just left their clue and passports in a Russian cab.... but does nothing to alert the contestants. Camara Guy hates all these people as much as I do!
Commercials
Not Jake's: I think it's the way Ethan sets his teeth that makes me want to wallop him with a pool cue. floopity floo, Ethan is connected to Holly. I swear I don't care how, but I did notice he pulled his stupid wallet on the stupid bike chain out of his stupid pocket, and there was a photo of Permomatic Luke with Holly.
Liz's Room: Oh, I left out that Chewbecca rushes in to help get Liz out of the hospital. Liz blanches noticeably that she's now going to be relegated to nosy nurse status b/c her dead friend is back.
Mercy Hospital: Maxie asks someone about the dying baby, and the nurse unrealistically says they have to wait, but really, with a tiny baby, wouldn't it be more likely that you'd at least take some precautions to assess what's wrong? Seeing as how 1. so cute! and 2. so close to death on a good day, really. Johnny busts out "do you know who my father is?" and apparently the nurse spends all day on PerezGotti.com because she totally knows who he is and agrees to not let the baby die.
GH: Trevor and Sonny and Sphery run into each other. Sonny holds a gun on Trevor, but Trevor says if he drops Sphery, then a lot of people Sonny loves will die. Trevor leaves glibly. Sonny oddly says "you first", which makes no sense, really, but I appreciate that big guns to tend to inspire that sort of non sequitur growling from action heroes, so I'll let it slide.
Commercials
Not Jake's: Luke is now readying to consume his 35th ounce of booze today. If Hannibal Lector ate his liver with a nice chianti, it would be the pickled liver that got him drunk.
Smoky GH Area: Patrick sends Jason and Sam to go save the day in some part of the hospital.
Liz's Room: Nik shows up to evacuate Liz. Liz is sleeping, but when she wakes, she tells Nik with a start that he has to go find Her.
Fire Filled Room: Chewbecca coughs and chokes and stares at the fire. But it's like watching an item you really want in Ebay. It's only at $5.00, with 10 minutes left, but you KNOW some jerkweed has a maximum bid way over your budget, so it's not going to end happily.
Mercy Hospital: something with Maxie and Johnny.
Nurse's station: Robin gets a hold of Patrick by phone. Robin wants to chat about the explosion, but Patrick obviously wants to hear about his daughter. Robin says Maxie took her to Mercy, and Patrick finds his as odd as he very reasonably should. Robin then lies that she has to get off the phone, leaving Patrick more frenzied and alarmed than ever.
Claud's Room: Spinelli and Weenie bizarrely run up pushing one wheel chair saying they are helping with the evac. They ask Carly, who is still hanging out with Claud for no apparent reason, to wheel Claud to safety. Then they run off to waste more time by having the two of them push a single wheel chair to someone else.
Wheel's Room: Sonny saunters in and refuses to unshackle Wheels. "Life's a b.tch and then you die." Oh, man, Sonny has so clearly been wanting to use that one for months now. He leaves Wheels to fight against his restraints.
Commercials
Not Jakes: No earthly idea what happens here b/c Ethan is now muttering like he's in a Guy Ritchie movie. They start yelling at each other for some reason. Luke tells Ethan to stay cool. and then they start snapping and dancing. "Easy does it...stay cool boy!"
Liz's Room: Liz is coughing as Nik wheels her away.
Inferno Nurse's Station: Chewbecca wanders around the smoky room b/c she's too stupid to know about staying low to the ground, I guess. Also, she gets knocked down. (ebay auction: 3 minutes left...only $6.60 max bid...looking good!)
GH: evacuation continues
Mercy Hospital: Maxie thanks Johnny for threatening people on her and Emma's behalf. Dr. Mercy shows up to tell them that Emma has pneumonia. lame.
Claud's Room: why is it taking 12 hours to leave this room? Carly finally wheels claud out and manages to slap her around as much as possible.
Just see smoke on the screen: hear coughing. Annoying Sweeps Theme Plays "dun dun dundun dundun dundundun." this is the best scene. Can't see anything! More please!
Kate's room: Olivia shows up to save Kate.
Another Inferno-y room: Trevor tells Sonny to go ahead and shoot him.Sonny says when he shoots Trevor, he'll fall into the fire, and then the plow pox stops working, or whatever. That's not far-fetched, but also no guarantee. It's a moot point, however, because OF COURSE Trevor has decided to stop right by Oxygen Storage, and we see how very, very full of oxygen cannisters this room really is, so then there is an explosion, and I'm not even remotely an expert or even all that knowledgeable, but my guess is the explosion from all that fire + Oxygen would take out several FLOORS of this building. Instead, it's kind of like a fireworks display gone bad, and it leaves Sonny totally not burned to a crisp...but he does have the decency to at least be unconscious (told ya he'd do something stupid like this. Worst Badass Ever)
the end
I only saw the end of Friday, but I seem to recall that Spinelli had for some reason, joined Weenie in the OR to contain the Spheres of Stupidity, but then somehow they can't even do that right, so they blew everything up.
Oh, looks like we are seeing the end of Friday in its entirety.
Claud's room: Trevor grumps that Sonny is going to kill Wheels for them.
Chapel: Wheels begs for his life, and Jason begs Sonny not to kill Wheels.
OR of Spherian Stupidity: Trevor has the missing sphere! Doh!
Chapel: Sonny says Wheels tried to take everything. Wheels whimpers, and Sonny puts a bullet in the wall over Wheel's head, bellowing for him to shut up.
GH Exterior: Robin, Maxie and Johnny have finally made it to GH with the Emmacicle, but Jax informs them it's shut down. Because no one owns phones and thought to call anyone to tell them this.
Chapel: Sonny head butts Wheels to knock him out and bellowbarks about wanting to kill Wheels, but he's not, just for Jason, because Jason is coming out of his skin, or whatever. Jason thanks him.
Claud's Room: Trevor brandishes the stupid stolen sphere and blathers about going to Costa Rica. Carly walks in and sees the stupid missing sphere.
GH Exterior: Jax recaps that some very confusing biotoxins have invaded only certain lungs in the hospital.
OR Room of Spheres: blah blah, it all explodes. Because why wouldn't it?
Credits
OR Room: An annoying buzzer sounds. It reminds me of the one that was trying to tell Ripley she had three minutes to get to minimum safe distance, while she insanely badassedly strapped on 85 guns and went to save Newt. Gawd, I wish I was watching that movie instead. Anyhoo, Weenie and Spinelli are fine.
Nurse's station: Piph and Lucky yammer about saving the day.
Hospital Room: See, this is why this is stupid b/c everyone is just running willy nilly, and now there is no way to contain all the people in the hospital. Sam and Looloo run into each other, and Loo is alarmed that Sam lost Spinelli. Because he's a poodle, I guess.
Claud's Room: They all react to the explosion. Somehow Trevor knows there is a raging fire.
Chapel: Sonny asks Jason to run a Borg Mapping Program, and Jason does and discerns the explosion came from an OR. then Sonny takes off to get trapped under a beam or in a stairwell or something stupid so that Jason has to save him and Leyla or someone else kind of cool dies again.
PCPD: Raynor gets a call about the explosion, and I'm sure he says something like "great. Three episodes from now, it's going to occur to me to call the fire department. Until then, I'm just going to rely on Jason and Sam to find all the fire extiguishers." He also breaks the news to Robin that there was an explosion. Why isn't she on her way to Mercy Hospital to get her poor, dying baby some medical care? OH, that's right, because she's dreadful.
Commercials
Would I be more disappointed as a parent if my daughter had a litter of babies? Or went on the Bachelor to find a boyfriend? It's really hard for me to say.
Aggravating Bar that is Not Jake's: Aggravating because Ethan and Luke are STILL hanging out and yammering endlessly about whatever it is they are talking about. If it's not about a murder-suicide pact, I'm not interested.
GH Room: Jason carries Wheels to a bed and straps him in. Kinky! Wheels oddly asks Jason what he's doing. Why would he really find this development surprising? Also, Wheels smells the fire and is worried he'll be left to die in the fire. Jason says he has to trust him. Wheels laughs that he's officially under the protection of Jason Morgan. Then he laughs like an adorable crazy old coot and says he's the safest man in the building.
GH Smoky Room: Weenie and Spinelli try to out do each other in the "what in the blazes are you TALKING about" department. She is sort of crying, but I still always expect her to say "Superstar!" and then fall down and flash her underwear, so I have no capacity for taking her seriously.
More blown up GH rooms: Nik and Patrick work together with fire extinguishers and such. We also see Kate's purse and Jerry Probst's DVD on the floor.
PCPD Camper: Maxie reminds everyone about the tiny, frozen, dying baby. Robin says she needs to hang out here to help with the evacuation, so will Maxie and Johnny please take Emmacicle to Mercy Hospital.
Kate's Room: Olivia yells at Kate and asks if she's been hospitalized so many times that she doesn't understand it's actually serious? heh. Kate is obsessed with the stupid dvd, and asks again for her cousin to risk her life to get it. Where is Chucky and his pillow when you need him?
Claud's Room: Claud and Carly share a snarl that Trevor is being a bad guy and taking advantage of a situation b/c they only do that when they are trying to get laid or married. Trevor leaves with the toxin, and Carly says he's crazy.
Commercials
Johnny's car: Johnny and Maxie drive in the snow to Mercy hospital. Maxie is holding Emma in her lap b/c if there's ever a time one should not have a car seat is IN A BLIZZARD. They really couldn't have taken the time to get the one from Robin's car? I saw a devastating Oprah about this, and say what you want about that aggravating woman, I can promise that she taught me to never drive with a baby without a car seat! Anyhoo, Maxie says she's not maternal, even though she's holding the baby and getting her to sleep even though she's sick. Johnny is still whining that he's got a secret. A secret he's had for a year and only started bothering him 12 minutes ago, but whatever.
GH Smoky Room: Jason, Loo, Spinelli and Weenie all meet up. Jason runs a Plot Point Negotiator Program and easily discerns the cause of the explosion. I love that they don't even bother to have him be a bit sketchy about any details. He simply rattles off EXACTLY what happened as if it's so OBVIOUS. but if it were so obvious, why didn't Superjase bother to unplug the explosionator thingy when he was there before? Not that I expect Superjase to do everything b/c it's way more awesome for the room to have blown up, anyway.
GH Doorways: Piph fights with three sloppy extras who are clamboring to leave.
GH Lobby: Sonny and Carly meet up and manage not to have panic sex on the sofa b/c they still have loved ones to think about. He does seem to imply "meet ya at the bathtub when this is done" though.
Wheel's Room: Trevor shows up to taunt Wheels.
Oxygen Storage: So none of these numbnuts have bothered to consider that fire + oxygen storage = RIP. But Camara Guy is totally onto it, and he leaves us a shot of the labeled oxygen storage room. Like he's one of those chuckle heads on Amazing Race or a show like that, and clues the audience in that the team just left their clue and passports in a Russian cab.... but does nothing to alert the contestants. Camara Guy hates all these people as much as I do!
Commercials
Not Jake's: I think it's the way Ethan sets his teeth that makes me want to wallop him with a pool cue. floopity floo, Ethan is connected to Holly. I swear I don't care how, but I did notice he pulled his stupid wallet on the stupid bike chain out of his stupid pocket, and there was a photo of Permomatic Luke with Holly.
Liz's Room: Oh, I left out that Chewbecca rushes in to help get Liz out of the hospital. Liz blanches noticeably that she's now going to be relegated to nosy nurse status b/c her dead friend is back.
Mercy Hospital: Maxie asks someone about the dying baby, and the nurse unrealistically says they have to wait, but really, with a tiny baby, wouldn't it be more likely that you'd at least take some precautions to assess what's wrong? Seeing as how 1. so cute! and 2. so close to death on a good day, really. Johnny busts out "do you know who my father is?" and apparently the nurse spends all day on PerezGotti.com because she totally knows who he is and agrees to not let the baby die.
GH: Trevor and Sonny and Sphery run into each other. Sonny holds a gun on Trevor, but Trevor says if he drops Sphery, then a lot of people Sonny loves will die. Trevor leaves glibly. Sonny oddly says "you first", which makes no sense, really, but I appreciate that big guns to tend to inspire that sort of non sequitur growling from action heroes, so I'll let it slide.
Commercials
Not Jake's: Luke is now readying to consume his 35th ounce of booze today. If Hannibal Lector ate his liver with a nice chianti, it would be the pickled liver that got him drunk.
Smoky GH Area: Patrick sends Jason and Sam to go save the day in some part of the hospital.
Liz's Room: Nik shows up to evacuate Liz. Liz is sleeping, but when she wakes, she tells Nik with a start that he has to go find Her.
Fire Filled Room: Chewbecca coughs and chokes and stares at the fire. But it's like watching an item you really want in Ebay. It's only at $5.00, with 10 minutes left, but you KNOW some jerkweed has a maximum bid way over your budget, so it's not going to end happily.
Mercy Hospital: something with Maxie and Johnny.
Nurse's station: Robin gets a hold of Patrick by phone. Robin wants to chat about the explosion, but Patrick obviously wants to hear about his daughter. Robin says Maxie took her to Mercy, and Patrick finds his as odd as he very reasonably should. Robin then lies that she has to get off the phone, leaving Patrick more frenzied and alarmed than ever.
Claud's Room: Spinelli and Weenie bizarrely run up pushing one wheel chair saying they are helping with the evac. They ask Carly, who is still hanging out with Claud for no apparent reason, to wheel Claud to safety. Then they run off to waste more time by having the two of them push a single wheel chair to someone else.
Wheel's Room: Sonny saunters in and refuses to unshackle Wheels. "Life's a b.tch and then you die." Oh, man, Sonny has so clearly been wanting to use that one for months now. He leaves Wheels to fight against his restraints.
Commercials
Not Jakes: No earthly idea what happens here b/c Ethan is now muttering like he's in a Guy Ritchie movie. They start yelling at each other for some reason. Luke tells Ethan to stay cool. and then they start snapping and dancing. "Easy does it...stay cool boy!"
Liz's Room: Liz is coughing as Nik wheels her away.
Inferno Nurse's Station: Chewbecca wanders around the smoky room b/c she's too stupid to know about staying low to the ground, I guess. Also, she gets knocked down. (ebay auction: 3 minutes left...only $6.60 max bid...looking good!)
GH: evacuation continues
Mercy Hospital: Maxie thanks Johnny for threatening people on her and Emma's behalf. Dr. Mercy shows up to tell them that Emma has pneumonia. lame.
Claud's Room: why is it taking 12 hours to leave this room? Carly finally wheels claud out and manages to slap her around as much as possible.
Just see smoke on the screen: hear coughing. Annoying Sweeps Theme Plays "dun dun dundun dundun dundundun." this is the best scene. Can't see anything! More please!
Kate's room: Olivia shows up to save Kate.
Another Inferno-y room: Trevor tells Sonny to go ahead and shoot him.Sonny says when he shoots Trevor, he'll fall into the fire, and then the plow pox stops working, or whatever. That's not far-fetched, but also no guarantee. It's a moot point, however, because OF COURSE Trevor has decided to stop right by Oxygen Storage, and we see how very, very full of oxygen cannisters this room really is, so then there is an explosion, and I'm not even remotely an expert or even all that knowledgeable, but my guess is the explosion from all that fire + Oxygen would take out several FLOORS of this building. Instead, it's kind of like a fireworks display gone bad, and it leaves Sonny totally not burned to a crisp...but he does have the decency to at least be unconscious (told ya he'd do something stupid like this. Worst Badass Ever)
the end
Thursday, February 5, 2009
GH Recap 2/5: Over the river and through the woods
Today's recommended drink for getting through the show:
A Port Charles ScrewLoo
equal parts vodka and orange juice
dash of bitters
pour over ice in a glass about the size of her chin
GH: Jason and Sam kibbitz that she shot him in the shoulder. I think it's supposed to be comical.
Snowy Forest: Robin is walking her baby in the effing snow to get to the hospital. Sing it with me IN A BLIZZARD.
GH HalL: Tracy gasps for breath, and Patrick tends to her.
Claud's Room: Sonny mumble-asks how she feels. He asks her to repeat what she said about Wheels shooting Kate. Sonny does his best stern, scary voice and says she needs to be sure about that b/c she knows what happens next. (um, nothing particularly interesting?)
Credit
GH: Sam angrily says "you SAID take the shot" he say that he meant as a diversion. She says that he always says what he means. He says that it was an impossible shot. She says that it's not her fault he stepped into the line of fire. Aw. I think I smell Chinese food.
Claud's room: claud explains the impossibly complicated plan to shoot Kate and then like in that story about for want of a nail the kingdom was lost...it all ends with Sonny killing Jason and then being vulnerable. lol. I"ve seen less convoluted Escher paintings.
GH Hall: Tracy gets wheeled away. Carly tells Patrick she is suddenly not sure how this plow pox works. pssst, Carly: totally randomly with no adherence to the laws of physics. Patrick explains this, and Carly half tearfully realizes that anyone in the board room is in danger.
Liz's Room: Nik visits to wish Liz well and chastise Lucky for breaking into the hospital. Chewbecca shows up to lurk outside the doorway with a nurse. Does she think Liz's room in an elevator or a cell phone?
Stupid Snowy Night: Robin finally decides that killing her baby in a snowy forest is a bad idea, and she should have just killed her in the broken car, but now she's lost. But fortunately, she's still remarkably stupid.
Commercials
Johnny's Car: Johnny and Maxie drive IN A BLIZZARD. Johnny jokes about global warming. Maxie hilariously makes a case that would please even Al Gore, but she says it was really Georgie who taught her about it. Johnny doesn't want to be alone with Maxie. She says she feels guilty, even though they shouldn't b/c they didn't do anything. Johnny says he feels guilty for using her to self destruct. She says she feels bad about hurting Spinelli, and even feels bad for kissing Looloo's boyfriend. He says they shouldn't feel bad. She says he's right b/c they didn't have sex and never will. But then they share a glance and clearly neither of them really feel like taking an oath on this subject.
GH: Piph has sewed up Jason's wound. Sam and Jason continue to george and gracie about this stupid gun shot wound. Spinelli rushes in to warn of impending doom.
Nurse's Station: Patrick tells Raynor that Tracy has passed out. He doesn't know if this is a delayed reaction, or if the plow pox is in the ventillation system. They bicker a bit. Raynor idiotically asks him about the remaining spheres and where the missing one is. Why wouldn't there be a team of Jack Bauer's trying to assess just this question?
Liz's Room: oh, Lili will be so glad to hear that the 3 remaining Scooby Doo'ers want to meet for dinner of ribs and brownies. Meanwhile Chewbecca still hangs out in the hall. But neither Liz, Lucky nor Nik notice. Nik wants to leave Nadine out. Aw, poor Nadine. She won't have to sit around and suffer while these idiots tell the same 3 stories for the 85th time.
Claud's Room: Claud knows what happens next. She knows she would be next on the list after Jason and Sonny, and maybe Johnny in time. Can someone tell me why someone can't just shoot Jason or Sonny? Or poison them? Why do you have to marry off your daughter, and shoot a random magazine mogul and chase away Russians....I mean....this is very complicated. This is the exact opposite of Bikini Girl.
Commercials
GH Lobby: Edward tells Carly that he won't the donors off the hook and will make sure they pay into the Chucky Corinthos Whole Foods Research Project. Carly is very appreciative and asks about Monica. She gently tells him that Tracy is also sick. Edward scoffs and says she's probably just flirting with a doctor. She assures him it's true, and says Patrick was there and immediately took her to ICU. John Ingle rather wonderfully puts on a grumpy face and then gets angry at everyone for not knowing what they are doing. Carly very sweetly understands that he's upset about his family and kindly rubs his shoulder and says "I know." Aw. very nice scene.
Claud's room: Claud has her back turned to Wheels while he once again LOUDLY threatens her life. Sonny walks in and says he has some bizinez with Wheels. Claud is tearful b/c she doesn't want her father dead (for some bizarre reason).
Nurse's station: Patrick yells at Raynor that he's just looking out for Hallifiction. Raynor says he's in the dark b/c this matter is above his clearance. the hell? So people know about this but they've still just left Jason and Sam in charge? Couldn't they at least dress the regular cast up in storm trooper outfits to make it SEEM like the United States or NY government still exists? okay, and then it gets super awesome stupid. Raynor tells Weenie to lead a team to the warehouse. I've heard strippers on Howard Stern who are not as stupid as all of this. and these are women who when asked "what is 10% of 100?" answer 50. or: What is the capital of California: "USA" maybe you don't know it's Sacramento. I have no fault with that....but USA? But still, that girl? Not as stupid as this story line.
Maxie and Johnny are out of the car.
Robin is freezing.
Commercials
Who designed Robin's neighborhood? Why did they put an infinite forest in the middle of it? Also? where's a nice abandoned cabin when you really need one!
GH very ugly room: Wheels asks Sonny what was so important. Sonny very realistically pulls a gun OUT OF HIS SCRUBS POCKET. lmao. But no one noticed this in the very thin layer of cotton pants until now. Sonny points the gun and tells Wheels to stand and take it like a Feets or sit and take it like a coward. Wheels very delightfully puts on an impressive display of feeble old mandedness. He points out how illogical it would be for him to shoot some fashion broad. He says Sonny is playing right into Claud's hands.
Snowy Infinite Forest: oh, I see, Maxie and Johnny found Robin's minivan. and just like how everyone knows when Emily's birthday is, everyone in town also apparently has everyone else's license plate numbers memorized, and they know this is Robin's van. They are concerned.
GH; Spinelli and Patrick bicker about the Plow Pox Plotters. Patrick yells at Spinelli that they have to get the rest of the spheres out of the hospital. um, because then he can kill everyone in town? Why not put them in a thermos, or something? or, I don't know WHY NOT PUT THEM BACK IN BRAGG'S STUPID BODY? or, heck, wrap them in Jason and Sam's leather jacket b/c that is clearly the most impermeable thing ever invented. Jason yells at Spinelli to stop fighting about this.
GH Lobby: Carly and Edward continue to have a totally adorable and sweet conversation about the fear of losing a loved one.
GH other Lobby: Spinelli wants to run off and deal with stuff. But Ubiquitous Sam is there to reason that if Spinelli gets hurt, Jason will implode or something.
GH doors: So, then Weenie and her stupid team of TWO show up, and Patrick opens the door. He forgot to say "hey toxin, look over there!" though, so I'm not sure the world is safe. Why would the FBI show up 18 weeks later to try to contain a biotoxin? This is making me feel guilty about not appreciating how Brownie was indeed doing a heckuva a job. Spinelli lurks around a corner. Oh my hell. Did Patrick really leave the keys to the stupid door in the lock?
Commercials
So is the hospital full of dum dums? Or did Piph cleverly dose everyone with horse tranquilizer? Why is no one particularly complaining about being trapped? Why do they all get to roam free and not be contained?
Liz's Room: Lucky creepily says he's staring at Liz, trying to memorize her face, so he can keep her with him. Dude, really? You haven't bothered to learn what she looks like during the duration of YOUR ENTIRE ADULT LIFE? Lucky makes me smile when he says really dopey things. Nik says "I know, it's like when it's all about me and my feelings." then he says he thought he saw Emily earlier. Lucky manages not to say "oh, I can't handle it if you have a brain tumor again", so Lucky is still a better sibling than Looloo.
Tracy's Room: Edward sadly sits by his hospital and lists all the people he's lost in the past few years. now Monica, now Tracy. He tells her that this should take him before her. He calls himself an old fool and says he didn't tell her enough that he loves her. He says he loves her and is proud of her. "You are the last child that is left to me,a nd I can't stand to lose you." Tracy makes a little gasp and then says "you make me sick" Edward's face relaxes gloriously, and he says with great relief "oh, oh, that's my girl' hee! so cute
Stupid Room with the Stupider Spheres: Weenie and her stupid "team" of two enter. Oh, no, sorry, one team member enters...and then another team member enters, but he politely left on his tale tell boots, so we know he's Cahoots.
Claud's Room: Claud and someone, I guess Carly, chat about Sonny and Wheels.
Random Very Ugly Room: Sonny and Wheels fight. Wheels has the old, sad grandpa thing working, but Sonny isn't buying. He says he can't walk, so Sonny points the gun at his legs and says theyshould test it. But Sonny is not very bright at all, and he lets Wheels talk and talk and talk, like he's a former Illinois governor on a certain late night talk show. Sonny is no more convinced than Dave was, but he's infinitely less cool, and mean and awesome about it. Jason walks in and chides Sonny that he can't kill Wheels.
Infinite Snowy Forest: Maxie and Johnny look for Robin. Johnny wisely says they have to turn back now while they still see their footprints. Maxie will not let another loved one die, and she insists they keep moving. She manages to see her cousin's form...IN A BLIZZARD....AT NIGHT. but whatever. I really couldn't bear Maxie's losing another family member, so I'm glad Robin won't die tonight. Johnny uncovers Robin. because, see...IN A BLIZZARD, you can get covered in snow, even if you are as big as a human being b/c it snows a LOT IN A BLIZZARD.
Commercials
Ugly GH room: Sonny explains that Wheels is lying and is really a Feets and also shot Kate. Jason is surprised. wha wha wahhhhat? There is something to be known that Jason didn't know. I feel very lost. Wheels begs and cries. Jason listens and is conflicted but he tells Sonny he can't shoot him b/c "you know why I need Wheels alive" Wheels sobs "yes! you need me alive! why do you need me alive?" heh. Jason and Sonny struggle with the gun, and Wheels busts into Feets mode and runs out of the room. Sonny and Jason tussle ont he ground, and Sonny shoots after Feets, but only hits the doorway.
GH: Patrick and Nik talk. Nik says he's worried about Liz, so he'll pull some favors to make things happen. Patrick thanks him and says he'll return the favor. He says he knows what NIk is going through with Emily, but he RUDELY doesn't have a bouquet of flowers and a card in honor of Emily's birthday. Chewbecca finally found her phone and wanders around aimlesslyin the background. She's all "I KNOW Bikini Girl was ROBBED"
Oh, sorry, NOW Maxie and Johnny find Robin. I guess it was a whiney stump that they found before. my bad.
the end
A Port Charles ScrewLoo
equal parts vodka and orange juice
dash of bitters
pour over ice in a glass about the size of her chin
GH: Jason and Sam kibbitz that she shot him in the shoulder. I think it's supposed to be comical.
Snowy Forest: Robin is walking her baby in the effing snow to get to the hospital. Sing it with me IN A BLIZZARD.
GH HalL: Tracy gasps for breath, and Patrick tends to her.
Claud's Room: Sonny mumble-asks how she feels. He asks her to repeat what she said about Wheels shooting Kate. Sonny does his best stern, scary voice and says she needs to be sure about that b/c she knows what happens next. (um, nothing particularly interesting?)
Credit
GH: Sam angrily says "you SAID take the shot" he say that he meant as a diversion. She says that he always says what he means. He says that it was an impossible shot. She says that it's not her fault he stepped into the line of fire. Aw. I think I smell Chinese food.
Claud's room: claud explains the impossibly complicated plan to shoot Kate and then like in that story about for want of a nail the kingdom was lost...it all ends with Sonny killing Jason and then being vulnerable. lol. I"ve seen less convoluted Escher paintings.
GH Hall: Tracy gets wheeled away. Carly tells Patrick she is suddenly not sure how this plow pox works. pssst, Carly: totally randomly with no adherence to the laws of physics. Patrick explains this, and Carly half tearfully realizes that anyone in the board room is in danger.
Liz's Room: Nik visits to wish Liz well and chastise Lucky for breaking into the hospital. Chewbecca shows up to lurk outside the doorway with a nurse. Does she think Liz's room in an elevator or a cell phone?
Stupid Snowy Night: Robin finally decides that killing her baby in a snowy forest is a bad idea, and she should have just killed her in the broken car, but now she's lost. But fortunately, she's still remarkably stupid.
Commercials
Johnny's Car: Johnny and Maxie drive IN A BLIZZARD. Johnny jokes about global warming. Maxie hilariously makes a case that would please even Al Gore, but she says it was really Georgie who taught her about it. Johnny doesn't want to be alone with Maxie. She says she feels guilty, even though they shouldn't b/c they didn't do anything. Johnny says he feels guilty for using her to self destruct. She says she feels bad about hurting Spinelli, and even feels bad for kissing Looloo's boyfriend. He says they shouldn't feel bad. She says he's right b/c they didn't have sex and never will. But then they share a glance and clearly neither of them really feel like taking an oath on this subject.
GH: Piph has sewed up Jason's wound. Sam and Jason continue to george and gracie about this stupid gun shot wound. Spinelli rushes in to warn of impending doom.
Nurse's Station: Patrick tells Raynor that Tracy has passed out. He doesn't know if this is a delayed reaction, or if the plow pox is in the ventillation system. They bicker a bit. Raynor idiotically asks him about the remaining spheres and where the missing one is. Why wouldn't there be a team of Jack Bauer's trying to assess just this question?
Liz's Room: oh, Lili will be so glad to hear that the 3 remaining Scooby Doo'ers want to meet for dinner of ribs and brownies. Meanwhile Chewbecca still hangs out in the hall. But neither Liz, Lucky nor Nik notice. Nik wants to leave Nadine out. Aw, poor Nadine. She won't have to sit around and suffer while these idiots tell the same 3 stories for the 85th time.
Claud's Room: Claud knows what happens next. She knows she would be next on the list after Jason and Sonny, and maybe Johnny in time. Can someone tell me why someone can't just shoot Jason or Sonny? Or poison them? Why do you have to marry off your daughter, and shoot a random magazine mogul and chase away Russians....I mean....this is very complicated. This is the exact opposite of Bikini Girl.
Commercials
GH Lobby: Edward tells Carly that he won't the donors off the hook and will make sure they pay into the Chucky Corinthos Whole Foods Research Project. Carly is very appreciative and asks about Monica. She gently tells him that Tracy is also sick. Edward scoffs and says she's probably just flirting with a doctor. She assures him it's true, and says Patrick was there and immediately took her to ICU. John Ingle rather wonderfully puts on a grumpy face and then gets angry at everyone for not knowing what they are doing. Carly very sweetly understands that he's upset about his family and kindly rubs his shoulder and says "I know." Aw. very nice scene.
Claud's room: Claud has her back turned to Wheels while he once again LOUDLY threatens her life. Sonny walks in and says he has some bizinez with Wheels. Claud is tearful b/c she doesn't want her father dead (for some bizarre reason).
Nurse's station: Patrick yells at Raynor that he's just looking out for Hallifiction. Raynor says he's in the dark b/c this matter is above his clearance. the hell? So people know about this but they've still just left Jason and Sam in charge? Couldn't they at least dress the regular cast up in storm trooper outfits to make it SEEM like the United States or NY government still exists? okay, and then it gets super awesome stupid. Raynor tells Weenie to lead a team to the warehouse. I've heard strippers on Howard Stern who are not as stupid as all of this. and these are women who when asked "what is 10% of 100?" answer 50. or: What is the capital of California: "USA" maybe you don't know it's Sacramento. I have no fault with that....but USA? But still, that girl? Not as stupid as this story line.
Maxie and Johnny are out of the car.
Robin is freezing.
Commercials
Who designed Robin's neighborhood? Why did they put an infinite forest in the middle of it? Also? where's a nice abandoned cabin when you really need one!
GH very ugly room: Wheels asks Sonny what was so important. Sonny very realistically pulls a gun OUT OF HIS SCRUBS POCKET. lmao. But no one noticed this in the very thin layer of cotton pants until now. Sonny points the gun and tells Wheels to stand and take it like a Feets or sit and take it like a coward. Wheels very delightfully puts on an impressive display of feeble old mandedness. He points out how illogical it would be for him to shoot some fashion broad. He says Sonny is playing right into Claud's hands.
Snowy Infinite Forest: oh, I see, Maxie and Johnny found Robin's minivan. and just like how everyone knows when Emily's birthday is, everyone in town also apparently has everyone else's license plate numbers memorized, and they know this is Robin's van. They are concerned.
GH; Spinelli and Patrick bicker about the Plow Pox Plotters. Patrick yells at Spinelli that they have to get the rest of the spheres out of the hospital. um, because then he can kill everyone in town? Why not put them in a thermos, or something? or, I don't know WHY NOT PUT THEM BACK IN BRAGG'S STUPID BODY? or, heck, wrap them in Jason and Sam's leather jacket b/c that is clearly the most impermeable thing ever invented. Jason yells at Spinelli to stop fighting about this.
GH Lobby: Carly and Edward continue to have a totally adorable and sweet conversation about the fear of losing a loved one.
GH other Lobby: Spinelli wants to run off and deal with stuff. But Ubiquitous Sam is there to reason that if Spinelli gets hurt, Jason will implode or something.
GH doors: So, then Weenie and her stupid team of TWO show up, and Patrick opens the door. He forgot to say "hey toxin, look over there!" though, so I'm not sure the world is safe. Why would the FBI show up 18 weeks later to try to contain a biotoxin? This is making me feel guilty about not appreciating how Brownie was indeed doing a heckuva a job. Spinelli lurks around a corner. Oh my hell. Did Patrick really leave the keys to the stupid door in the lock?
Commercials
So is the hospital full of dum dums? Or did Piph cleverly dose everyone with horse tranquilizer? Why is no one particularly complaining about being trapped? Why do they all get to roam free and not be contained?
Liz's Room: Lucky creepily says he's staring at Liz, trying to memorize her face, so he can keep her with him. Dude, really? You haven't bothered to learn what she looks like during the duration of YOUR ENTIRE ADULT LIFE? Lucky makes me smile when he says really dopey things. Nik says "I know, it's like when it's all about me and my feelings." then he says he thought he saw Emily earlier. Lucky manages not to say "oh, I can't handle it if you have a brain tumor again", so Lucky is still a better sibling than Looloo.
Tracy's Room: Edward sadly sits by his hospital and lists all the people he's lost in the past few years. now Monica, now Tracy. He tells her that this should take him before her. He calls himself an old fool and says he didn't tell her enough that he loves her. He says he loves her and is proud of her. "You are the last child that is left to me,a nd I can't stand to lose you." Tracy makes a little gasp and then says "you make me sick" Edward's face relaxes gloriously, and he says with great relief "oh, oh, that's my girl' hee! so cute
Stupid Room with the Stupider Spheres: Weenie and her stupid "team" of two enter. Oh, no, sorry, one team member enters...and then another team member enters, but he politely left on his tale tell boots, so we know he's Cahoots.
Claud's Room: Claud and someone, I guess Carly, chat about Sonny and Wheels.
Random Very Ugly Room: Sonny and Wheels fight. Wheels has the old, sad grandpa thing working, but Sonny isn't buying. He says he can't walk, so Sonny points the gun at his legs and says theyshould test it. But Sonny is not very bright at all, and he lets Wheels talk and talk and talk, like he's a former Illinois governor on a certain late night talk show. Sonny is no more convinced than Dave was, but he's infinitely less cool, and mean and awesome about it. Jason walks in and chides Sonny that he can't kill Wheels.
Infinite Snowy Forest: Maxie and Johnny look for Robin. Johnny wisely says they have to turn back now while they still see their footprints. Maxie will not let another loved one die, and she insists they keep moving. She manages to see her cousin's form...IN A BLIZZARD....AT NIGHT. but whatever. I really couldn't bear Maxie's losing another family member, so I'm glad Robin won't die tonight. Johnny uncovers Robin. because, see...IN A BLIZZARD, you can get covered in snow, even if you are as big as a human being b/c it snows a LOT IN A BLIZZARD.
Commercials
Ugly GH room: Sonny explains that Wheels is lying and is really a Feets and also shot Kate. Jason is surprised. wha wha wahhhhat? There is something to be known that Jason didn't know. I feel very lost. Wheels begs and cries. Jason listens and is conflicted but he tells Sonny he can't shoot him b/c "you know why I need Wheels alive" Wheels sobs "yes! you need me alive! why do you need me alive?" heh. Jason and Sonny struggle with the gun, and Wheels busts into Feets mode and runs out of the room. Sonny and Jason tussle ont he ground, and Sonny shoots after Feets, but only hits the doorway.
GH: Patrick and Nik talk. Nik says he's worried about Liz, so he'll pull some favors to make things happen. Patrick thanks him and says he'll return the favor. He says he knows what NIk is going through with Emily, but he RUDELY doesn't have a bouquet of flowers and a card in honor of Emily's birthday. Chewbecca finally found her phone and wanders around aimlesslyin the background. She's all "I KNOW Bikini Girl was ROBBED"
Oh, sorry, NOW Maxie and Johnny find Robin. I guess it was a whiney stump that they found before. my bad.
the end
Pree Vee Us Lee on General Hospital...
Previously: The Steelers and the Cards played a helluva a game. Rob Blago thought going on David Letterman was a good idea, even though old school Dave would rip the likes of Marilu Henner a new a-hole for the crime of being kind of boring, and Jessica Simpson finally ate a cheeseburger.
Johnny and Maxie found an abandoned garage, and I'm pretty sure it's the one Alison, Livie and Jamal used to own when they were vampires. They got drunk on a case of Dark Ale and commiscerated about how they are not bad, but they are drawn that way. Johnny knows Looloo will be sad when she finds out he was involved in Michael's shooting, and Maxie knows she's never going to like like Spinelli, so she's going to break his heart, so they decided the noble thing to do was sleep together, because then the heartbreak would be out of the way. But then, alas, they remembered that they are actually pretty decent people, so they didn't sleep together, but they did learn to respect and like each other a lot more than previously.
The FBI, and federal government, and NY national guard, and the CDC all were on vacation, so they left Jason and Sam in charge of an epidemic, and Jason and Sam are too doltish to think that maybe someone should guard the deadly, deadly toxin, so someone stole some, but the person who stole it is even dumber b/c for some reason he didn't just go ahead and take all of it.
Patrick used Layla to get over Robin, but then he felt bad, and then she became kind of lovable, but then she died, after telling Patrick that she'd found love. and then her cute fiance showed up and learned she was dead, and it was actually very touching and sad b/c he told Patrick about how Layla had a broken heart, and Patrick knew he'd broken it. And then Sam and her Leathered Ubiquity showed up b/c it's apparently ILLEGAL for anyone to go more than 5 minutes without dealing with Sam in some fashion or another. (and this was carried out to such a comical degree that Sam even had to get her own LAPTOP and play dueling laptops with Spinelli)
Liz got very sick from the plow pox, and Lucky broke into the quarantined hospital to be with her b/c, as he tells Sam and Looloo, he and Liz are always there for each other when times are hard, but he left out that part that sometimes he and Liz cheat on each other when times are hard, but no one has ever accused Lucky of being captain of the debate team.
Looloo, who has survived a previous monkey pox, spent all her time whining about her boyfriend instead of being remotely concerned about her loved ones in peril. She was so disgusting and awful, that, by comparison, Carly seemed like the most nurturing and competent person you have ever met. Then Piph showed up and gave Looloo a very satisfying dressing down and put her lazy, whiny tush to work.
Robin was annoying and apparently never heard of singing to a baby and instead just griped at her kid to stop crying.
Patrick continued to become my favorite character by being believably worried about his wife, but then Sam called the Haz Mat Suit people b/c of COURSE Sam just happens to have the Haz Mat Suit people's phone number.
Johnny and Maxie found an abandoned garage, and I'm pretty sure it's the one Alison, Livie and Jamal used to own when they were vampires. They got drunk on a case of Dark Ale and commiscerated about how they are not bad, but they are drawn that way. Johnny knows Looloo will be sad when she finds out he was involved in Michael's shooting, and Maxie knows she's never going to like like Spinelli, so she's going to break his heart, so they decided the noble thing to do was sleep together, because then the heartbreak would be out of the way. But then, alas, they remembered that they are actually pretty decent people, so they didn't sleep together, but they did learn to respect and like each other a lot more than previously.
The FBI, and federal government, and NY national guard, and the CDC all were on vacation, so they left Jason and Sam in charge of an epidemic, and Jason and Sam are too doltish to think that maybe someone should guard the deadly, deadly toxin, so someone stole some, but the person who stole it is even dumber b/c for some reason he didn't just go ahead and take all of it.
Patrick used Layla to get over Robin, but then he felt bad, and then she became kind of lovable, but then she died, after telling Patrick that she'd found love. and then her cute fiance showed up and learned she was dead, and it was actually very touching and sad b/c he told Patrick about how Layla had a broken heart, and Patrick knew he'd broken it. And then Sam and her Leathered Ubiquity showed up b/c it's apparently ILLEGAL for anyone to go more than 5 minutes without dealing with Sam in some fashion or another. (and this was carried out to such a comical degree that Sam even had to get her own LAPTOP and play dueling laptops with Spinelli)
Liz got very sick from the plow pox, and Lucky broke into the quarantined hospital to be with her b/c, as he tells Sam and Looloo, he and Liz are always there for each other when times are hard, but he left out that part that sometimes he and Liz cheat on each other when times are hard, but no one has ever accused Lucky of being captain of the debate team.
Looloo, who has survived a previous monkey pox, spent all her time whining about her boyfriend instead of being remotely concerned about her loved ones in peril. She was so disgusting and awful, that, by comparison, Carly seemed like the most nurturing and competent person you have ever met. Then Piph showed up and gave Looloo a very satisfying dressing down and put her lazy, whiny tush to work.
Robin was annoying and apparently never heard of singing to a baby and instead just griped at her kid to stop crying.
Patrick continued to become my favorite character by being believably worried about his wife, but then Sam called the Haz Mat Suit people b/c of COURSE Sam just happens to have the Haz Mat Suit people's phone number.
Friday, January 30, 2009
GH Recap 1/30: Can The Shark Jump a Show?
Previously on General Hospital, we learned that either the writing staff does not understand what "air born" means, or the writing staff doesn't know what "air" is or where "air" is. (Hint : everywhere)
We also learned the Port Charles has a beer delivery service, much like the old milk man service, and the service is free to mechanic's garages that are abandoned enough to hide out in, but not so abandoned that they don't have light or heat. I smell Dharma Initiative!
Benefit: Sonny lays Kate down on the ground and asks for help. Nadine jumps to action, but Claud claims Kate is faking. We see a shot of the vent. OH, that's right, because this 48 story hospital has duct work that goes all floppity floo all over the place. Next we see the duct in the OR. Also, there are gauges that talk about Nitrogen and "air" lol. So, they've HEARD of the word air.
Jason tells Raynor about the remarkably unrealistic ductwork, and Raynor tells JASON to seal off the room. I guess he's supposed to use all the zippers on his and Sam's jackets? Why not call the CDC? Or, I dunno, Home Depot for that matter b/c they at least sell plastic and duct tape. Whatever. Jason asks about the people inside.
Credits.
Haunted Star: Luke catches someone robbing the joint. A boy who has to be Dante turns around and asks crazily if Luke is a gambling man?
GH Hall: Loo tolerates Nik talking about someone besides herself for a few moments while Nik insists he saw Emily at the nurse's station.
Emma's Palace: Robin stands over her baby and talks to her like she's a chess game. She won't pick up Emma b/c she has some bizarre notion that Emma has really complicated opinions about Robin's mothering skills as opposed to really uncomplicated opinions about the load in her diaper and the rumbling in her tummy.
Cafe Interrogate/GH Phone call: Raynor wants Spinelli to hack into the hospital's duct system. Is it computerized? the hell? It's just a series of metal tubes. Whatever. Maybe Spinelli can turn all all the video cameras in the ducts as well! Also, why not call THE MAINTENANCE PEOPLE at the effing hospital?
GH Hall: sam runs after Patrick b/c she has a lot of places to be at once if she's going to be in Everyone's Business by the end of the show. She wants to go and turn off the toxin or something idiotic like that, and she should go b/c Patrick has a family. Why would the toxin have an off switch? Why would they wait until now to hit it? Why doesn't the CDC exist?
Benefit: Carly tries to go for help, but Jason has "sealed" her in, and I think he "sealed" her in by sticking a broom handle through the door knobs. I'm sure it's a hermetic broom handle though. Carly asks what's the big idea and says Kate collapsed. But because the door is sealed so tightly, all Jason hears is ever single word she says very clearly.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Hey, why does Dante have an accent? He says he picked the lock and came in to get out of the storm. Luke lowers his gun. Dante says he can tell Luke needs a professional, and he's the best bartender ever. Luke says he likes a Naked Nymph and says it's a drink. I wonder how it differs from a Naked Jason.
Emma's Palace: Mac visits Robin because there is a blizzard, and that's the best time to drive across town. Mac says he knows she's a great mom, and he doesn't mean to hover. She says it's great he's here. Emma cries through the monitor, and Robin lies she just woke up. He goes to finally give Emma some affection.
GH: Raynor continues to ask Spinelli to hack into some metal tubes. Oh, nevermind, Raynor wanted him to hack into the ventillation system to turn it off. Because going to the off switch would take so long, I guess? Raynor explains it's an air born toxin and it can get on your hair or clothes and kill you. Sam looks like she swallowed a bug (because of course Sam just had to find Spinelli so she could randomly take the phone from him to randomly be involved with the FBI who randomly is counting on a mobster and a geek to solve this impossibly dangerous crisis...also, by FBI, I mean one dude hanging out in the interrogation room of the local police department. This plot reminds me of a fine Swiss cheese).
Tiny Room for a Crappy Benefit Because Carly Didn't Really Care About Michael All That Much: Jason explains there is a toxin. I don't understand why people understand the word "air born" one minute, but then don't the next? Why does Jason not understand that "air" can go under doors? Everyone wants to leave the Crappy Benefit, but they can't because there is air in the room, but not outside the room? Or maybe it's because someone finally figured out that because Kate has been exposed, Jason and Sam shouldn't just hang out around her without hazmat suits?
OR Room: See, now Patrick DOES understand about air born b/c he's in a haz mat suit. But he just stands around breathing and looking at stuff. He's probably wishing the CDC had been invented.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Oh, it's not Dante. It's Ethan. He's from Australia. He very aggravatingly does this annoying thing with a napkin...like he's bouncing it. Luke says the drink is correct, but it's bright blue, so I can't fathom that it's tasty. He orders an Androgynous Apollo, and what in the hell are they talking about? blah blah they joke about the West coast version having sushi in it. I hate stupid made up drinks. Vomit, the Androgynous Apollo looks like bourbon with olives in it. I wuld kill myself before drinking that. Ethan asks who Luke is, and Luke tells him,but smiles that Ethan already knew that. So, is Ethan a Scorpio or a Jacks?
Emma's Palace: Robin starts to tell Mac her concern about her problems. She says she was supposed to go to a Benefit. She asks Mac to stay with Emma so she can go. In a blizzard, mind you!
GH: Nik and Loo loo show up and Nik oddly says that they haven't heard anything about the Plow Pox. Sam explains how blah blah Bragg was in a car accident and brought bio toxins in vials in his body. Sam says it's a weapons grade poison and two people have already died. Nik asks if it's been contained. Sam says it got into the ducts. For some reason she doesn't add "oh, and I'm totally covered in it" Nik and Loo realize that they know people in the room that is bizarrely linked to an OR by a vent. I mean, let's just pretend there isn't Plow Pox. Wouldn't it be VERY dangerous to the OR patient if someone in the board room had a cold and sneezed?
Benefit Room: So now the genius plan is to open the door really quickly and shove Kate out and then close the door really quick. Sonny cleverly draws what appears to be a black tunnel on the wall next to the door, so the toxin thinks THAT is the way out. Meep Meep! Wheels laughs that they are all going to die with the people they hate.
OR: oh, so in a remarkably stupid move, Patrick is taking the remaining spheres of Plow Pox out of Bragg. Aren't they pretty well contained in his body? It would only be a problem if he dropped one or cut into one, I would think. but then, I idiotically also adhere to the laws of physics, so what do I know?
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Ethan says he's never heard of Luke and asks if he's a local celebrity. Luke says he just owns a bar. Luke is getting loopy from all the stupid fancy drinks Ethan has made him, so he finally orders a scotch, neat. Ethan seems to know that the HS is only open sporadically. Luke says work should be fun, so he opens when he feels like it. Luke says Ethan can't be a card shark (or is it sharp?) and says only he fleeces his flock. Then he starts to get sleepy, while Ethan wipes down the bar.
Emma's Palace: Mac reasonably doesn't want his neice to go gallavanting about in a blizzard. Also, why would they not have canceled the benefit to avoid people DYING on the way there? Mac agrees, but he gets a call from the station.
GH Lobby: Patrick has met up with Sam and Spinelli and The Phone and tells Raynor he got the spheres out. I don't understand any of this? Why did he take the spheres out but have nowhere to put them? Raynor says the FBI will take over. Well, GET ON IT, Dude, geeze. Patrick says that Raynor better neutralize the toxin b/c it took out an entire OR in seconds.
Benefit: Trevor starts to lose his mind and screams at the doorway to be let out. Carly tells him to get a grip. Sonny yells at Claud for saying Kate was pretending to be sick. Claud laughs that she's a b.itch.
Jason calls Carly to say they are doing the best they can.
Wheels says the toxin is a paralytic, and he can tell you just how it will make you feel. Trevor stands by the door, gasping for breath. Claud watches with a smile on her face. Carly looks disgusted. Suddenly Trevor collapses and Carly calls for help.
GH Hall: Nik finds Jason and says Nadine is in the boardroom and wants to get her out. Jason explains that they already tried the old fake train track tunnel trick on the toxin, so there's no way to safely open the door again. Or, actually AT ALL, but whatever. or actually, it's just a door with a gap between the door and the frame, but what really matters is Nik panicks and tries to open the door, and Jaosn stops hiim and Nik sadly says he was chasing a dream earlier and left Nadine there. I keep wishing sharks would show up and eat everyone. That would be cool. They could be air born sharks.
GH Lobby: Sam yammers about something because while she was in law school she learned about disease containment, I guess? I don't know. This show is what would happen if Passions and a cruise ship on Days of Our Lives had a baby.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Luke is drunk, or pretending to be and says he doesn't believvvvvvve in coincidences and that Ethan has never heard of him after being here for 48 hours. Luke has a point b/c being in Port Charles for 48 hours, I expect Ethan to know it's Emily's birthday. Luke warns Ethan not to get caught up in people's agendas. He yawns and says he has to learn how to see opportunities. LUke lays his head down on the table saying you have to answer when Opportunity knocks. Luke lays his head down with his hand clutching his gun though. Ethan says his sentiments exactly and smiles.
Emma's Palace: Mac has to leave b/c there is an incident, but Raynor wouldn't give him details, but there may be casualties. Robin and her Not Fooling Anyone pony tails prepars to hunker down for another night of ignoring her baby.
GH Hall: Jason wonders if Nik means Emily. Nik says he's not hallucinating, he saw a woman who looked like Emily. Jason says Nik has to get it together b/c it's all going to get a lot worse.
Benefit Room: So they open both doors for about 4 hours as Trevor gets sloooooowwwwwllllllllllyyyyyyy wheeled out, and then Ric holds the door open for another 3 hours watching him being wheeled away. They have put up a plastic curtain, l ike the kind that leads behind the deli counter in a supermarket, so obviously air born toxins can't get past that!
Then hilariously everyone starts having "private conversation" even though this room is smaller than any of their closets. Carly and Sonny, of course, find solace in each other's arms.
GH Lobby: Piph yells at Patrick and Sam about what is going on, and Sam says "I think we should close the OR" oh for fuck's sake. They haven't done that yet? lmao. Is some poor schmoe having his appendectomy in Plow Pox right now? Raynor calls, but somehow this time he calls on a GH line instead of The Phone. Patrick explains about how the OR team died, or is in ICU (thus infecting everyone that goes in or out of the ICU) and then Raynor demands that they quarantine the hospital. and by that, I can only assume he means TWO HOURS AGO when this became an issue, right? Like when he called Patrick to say "watch out for Bragg" he MUST have said, "and quarantine the hospital!" But then for some reason Patrick turns back to Jason, who raises his eyebrows, as if he was able to hear the quarantine order over the phone that he's not talking on. I hate everything about this episode.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Ethan gently takes the gun from Luke and takes out the bullets. Of COURSE Ethan is the kind of doosh who wears his wallet on a bike chain. Ethan goes behind the bar and picks up the bricks of cash. But of course Luke was pretending to be passed out and has the gun again and tells Ethan they are back where they started.
GH: Patrick makes an announcement that the hospital is under quarantine. He blathers they are doing everything. Meanwhile, the Plow Pox spheres are sitting in a metal bowl, completely unguarded, in the OR. and some dude in a hazmat suit walks in and looks at them.
Benefit: For some bizarre reason, or....I guess I should say: Completely in keeping with the amount of realism on this show, Claud suddenly just HAS to tell Sonny who shot Kate. But she collapses just at that moment. Maybe there is no Plow Pox. Maybe it's just Sonny's toxic personality that is killing everyone?
GH: Random Dude tries to leave, but Piph tells him he can't. And then Jason and Sam stand at the doorway and stare out at the snow as Patrick says no one can leave. But until someone bothers to lock all the doors, I don't know how they plan to stop them? Unless it's by use of the moat, full of sharks, that has clearly sprung up overnight around the hospital.
The End
We also learned the Port Charles has a beer delivery service, much like the old milk man service, and the service is free to mechanic's garages that are abandoned enough to hide out in, but not so abandoned that they don't have light or heat. I smell Dharma Initiative!
Benefit: Sonny lays Kate down on the ground and asks for help. Nadine jumps to action, but Claud claims Kate is faking. We see a shot of the vent. OH, that's right, because this 48 story hospital has duct work that goes all floppity floo all over the place. Next we see the duct in the OR. Also, there are gauges that talk about Nitrogen and "air" lol. So, they've HEARD of the word air.
Jason tells Raynor about the remarkably unrealistic ductwork, and Raynor tells JASON to seal off the room. I guess he's supposed to use all the zippers on his and Sam's jackets? Why not call the CDC? Or, I dunno, Home Depot for that matter b/c they at least sell plastic and duct tape. Whatever. Jason asks about the people inside.
Credits.
Haunted Star: Luke catches someone robbing the joint. A boy who has to be Dante turns around and asks crazily if Luke is a gambling man?
GH Hall: Loo tolerates Nik talking about someone besides herself for a few moments while Nik insists he saw Emily at the nurse's station.
Emma's Palace: Robin stands over her baby and talks to her like she's a chess game. She won't pick up Emma b/c she has some bizarre notion that Emma has really complicated opinions about Robin's mothering skills as opposed to really uncomplicated opinions about the load in her diaper and the rumbling in her tummy.
Cafe Interrogate/GH Phone call: Raynor wants Spinelli to hack into the hospital's duct system. Is it computerized? the hell? It's just a series of metal tubes. Whatever. Maybe Spinelli can turn all all the video cameras in the ducts as well! Also, why not call THE MAINTENANCE PEOPLE at the effing hospital?
GH Hall: sam runs after Patrick b/c she has a lot of places to be at once if she's going to be in Everyone's Business by the end of the show. She wants to go and turn off the toxin or something idiotic like that, and she should go b/c Patrick has a family. Why would the toxin have an off switch? Why would they wait until now to hit it? Why doesn't the CDC exist?
Benefit: Carly tries to go for help, but Jason has "sealed" her in, and I think he "sealed" her in by sticking a broom handle through the door knobs. I'm sure it's a hermetic broom handle though. Carly asks what's the big idea and says Kate collapsed. But because the door is sealed so tightly, all Jason hears is ever single word she says very clearly.
Commercials
Haunted Star: Hey, why does Dante have an accent? He says he picked the lock and came in to get out of the storm. Luke lowers his gun. Dante says he can tell Luke needs a professional, and he's the best bartender ever. Luke says he likes a Naked Nymph and says it's a drink. I wonder how it differs from a Naked Jason.
Emma's Palace: Mac visits Robin because there is a blizzard, and that's the best time to drive across town. Mac says he knows she's a great mom, and he doesn't mean to hover. She says it's great he's here. Emma cries through the monitor, and Robin lies she just woke up. He goes to finally give Emma some affection.
GH: Raynor continues to ask Spinelli to hack into some metal tubes. Oh, nevermind, Raynor wanted him to hack into the ventillation system to turn it off. Because going to the off switch would take so long, I guess? Raynor explains it's an air born toxin and it can get on your hair or clothes and kill you. Sam looks like she swallowed a bug (because of course Sam just had to find Spinelli so she could randomly take the phone from him to randomly be involved with the FBI who randomly is counting on a mobster and a geek to solve this impossibly dangerous crisis...also, by FBI, I mean one dude hanging out in the interrogation room of the local police department. This plot reminds me of a fine Swiss cheese).
Tiny Room for a Crappy Benefit Because Carly Didn't Really Care About Michael All That Much: Jason explains there is a toxin. I don't understand why people understand the word "air born" one minute, but then don't the next? Why does Jason not understand that "air" can go under doors? Everyone wants to leave the Crappy Benefit, but they can't because there is air in the room, but not outside the room? Or maybe it's because someone finally figured out that because Kate has been exposed, Jason and Sam shouldn't just hang out around her without hazmat suits?
OR Room: See, now Patrick DOES understand about air born b/c he's in a haz mat suit. But he just stands around breathing and looking at stuff. He's probably wishing the CDC had been invented.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Oh, it's not Dante. It's Ethan. He's from Australia. He very aggravatingly does this annoying thing with a napkin...like he's bouncing it. Luke says the drink is correct, but it's bright blue, so I can't fathom that it's tasty. He orders an Androgynous Apollo, and what in the hell are they talking about? blah blah they joke about the West coast version having sushi in it. I hate stupid made up drinks. Vomit, the Androgynous Apollo looks like bourbon with olives in it. I wuld kill myself before drinking that. Ethan asks who Luke is, and Luke tells him,but smiles that Ethan already knew that. So, is Ethan a Scorpio or a Jacks?
Emma's Palace: Robin starts to tell Mac her concern about her problems. She says she was supposed to go to a Benefit. She asks Mac to stay with Emma so she can go. In a blizzard, mind you!
GH: Nik and Loo loo show up and Nik oddly says that they haven't heard anything about the Plow Pox. Sam explains how blah blah Bragg was in a car accident and brought bio toxins in vials in his body. Sam says it's a weapons grade poison and two people have already died. Nik asks if it's been contained. Sam says it got into the ducts. For some reason she doesn't add "oh, and I'm totally covered in it" Nik and Loo realize that they know people in the room that is bizarrely linked to an OR by a vent. I mean, let's just pretend there isn't Plow Pox. Wouldn't it be VERY dangerous to the OR patient if someone in the board room had a cold and sneezed?
Benefit Room: So now the genius plan is to open the door really quickly and shove Kate out and then close the door really quick. Sonny cleverly draws what appears to be a black tunnel on the wall next to the door, so the toxin thinks THAT is the way out. Meep Meep! Wheels laughs that they are all going to die with the people they hate.
OR: oh, so in a remarkably stupid move, Patrick is taking the remaining spheres of Plow Pox out of Bragg. Aren't they pretty well contained in his body? It would only be a problem if he dropped one or cut into one, I would think. but then, I idiotically also adhere to the laws of physics, so what do I know?
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Ethan says he's never heard of Luke and asks if he's a local celebrity. Luke says he just owns a bar. Luke is getting loopy from all the stupid fancy drinks Ethan has made him, so he finally orders a scotch, neat. Ethan seems to know that the HS is only open sporadically. Luke says work should be fun, so he opens when he feels like it. Luke says Ethan can't be a card shark (or is it sharp?) and says only he fleeces his flock. Then he starts to get sleepy, while Ethan wipes down the bar.
Emma's Palace: Mac reasonably doesn't want his neice to go gallavanting about in a blizzard. Also, why would they not have canceled the benefit to avoid people DYING on the way there? Mac agrees, but he gets a call from the station.
GH Lobby: Patrick has met up with Sam and Spinelli and The Phone and tells Raynor he got the spheres out. I don't understand any of this? Why did he take the spheres out but have nowhere to put them? Raynor says the FBI will take over. Well, GET ON IT, Dude, geeze. Patrick says that Raynor better neutralize the toxin b/c it took out an entire OR in seconds.
Benefit: Trevor starts to lose his mind and screams at the doorway to be let out. Carly tells him to get a grip. Sonny yells at Claud for saying Kate was pretending to be sick. Claud laughs that she's a b.itch.
Jason calls Carly to say they are doing the best they can.
Wheels says the toxin is a paralytic, and he can tell you just how it will make you feel. Trevor stands by the door, gasping for breath. Claud watches with a smile on her face. Carly looks disgusted. Suddenly Trevor collapses and Carly calls for help.
GH Hall: Nik finds Jason and says Nadine is in the boardroom and wants to get her out. Jason explains that they already tried the old fake train track tunnel trick on the toxin, so there's no way to safely open the door again. Or, actually AT ALL, but whatever. or actually, it's just a door with a gap between the door and the frame, but what really matters is Nik panicks and tries to open the door, and Jaosn stops hiim and Nik sadly says he was chasing a dream earlier and left Nadine there. I keep wishing sharks would show up and eat everyone. That would be cool. They could be air born sharks.
GH Lobby: Sam yammers about something because while she was in law school she learned about disease containment, I guess? I don't know. This show is what would happen if Passions and a cruise ship on Days of Our Lives had a baby.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Luke is drunk, or pretending to be and says he doesn't believvvvvvve in coincidences and that Ethan has never heard of him after being here for 48 hours. Luke has a point b/c being in Port Charles for 48 hours, I expect Ethan to know it's Emily's birthday. Luke warns Ethan not to get caught up in people's agendas. He yawns and says he has to learn how to see opportunities. LUke lays his head down on the table saying you have to answer when Opportunity knocks. Luke lays his head down with his hand clutching his gun though. Ethan says his sentiments exactly and smiles.
Emma's Palace: Mac has to leave b/c there is an incident, but Raynor wouldn't give him details, but there may be casualties. Robin and her Not Fooling Anyone pony tails prepars to hunker down for another night of ignoring her baby.
GH Hall: Jason wonders if Nik means Emily. Nik says he's not hallucinating, he saw a woman who looked like Emily. Jason says Nik has to get it together b/c it's all going to get a lot worse.
Benefit Room: So they open both doors for about 4 hours as Trevor gets sloooooowwwwwllllllllllyyyyyyy wheeled out, and then Ric holds the door open for another 3 hours watching him being wheeled away. They have put up a plastic curtain, l ike the kind that leads behind the deli counter in a supermarket, so obviously air born toxins can't get past that!
Then hilariously everyone starts having "private conversation" even though this room is smaller than any of their closets. Carly and Sonny, of course, find solace in each other's arms.
GH Lobby: Piph yells at Patrick and Sam about what is going on, and Sam says "I think we should close the OR" oh for fuck's sake. They haven't done that yet? lmao. Is some poor schmoe having his appendectomy in Plow Pox right now? Raynor calls, but somehow this time he calls on a GH line instead of The Phone. Patrick explains about how the OR team died, or is in ICU (thus infecting everyone that goes in or out of the ICU) and then Raynor demands that they quarantine the hospital. and by that, I can only assume he means TWO HOURS AGO when this became an issue, right? Like when he called Patrick to say "watch out for Bragg" he MUST have said, "and quarantine the hospital!" But then for some reason Patrick turns back to Jason, who raises his eyebrows, as if he was able to hear the quarantine order over the phone that he's not talking on. I hate everything about this episode.
Commercials
Haunted Starr: Ethan gently takes the gun from Luke and takes out the bullets. Of COURSE Ethan is the kind of doosh who wears his wallet on a bike chain. Ethan goes behind the bar and picks up the bricks of cash. But of course Luke was pretending to be passed out and has the gun again and tells Ethan they are back where they started.
GH: Patrick makes an announcement that the hospital is under quarantine. He blathers they are doing everything. Meanwhile, the Plow Pox spheres are sitting in a metal bowl, completely unguarded, in the OR. and some dude in a hazmat suit walks in and looks at them.
Benefit: For some bizarre reason, or....I guess I should say: Completely in keeping with the amount of realism on this show, Claud suddenly just HAS to tell Sonny who shot Kate. But she collapses just at that moment. Maybe there is no Plow Pox. Maybe it's just Sonny's toxic personality that is killing everyone?
GH: Random Dude tries to leave, but Piph tells him he can't. And then Jason and Sam stand at the doorway and stare out at the snow as Patrick says no one can leave. But until someone bothers to lock all the doors, I don't know how they plan to stop them? Unless it's by use of the moat, full of sharks, that has clearly sprung up overnight around the hospital.
The End
Thursday, January 29, 2009
GH Recap 1/29: We All Scream for Impeach Ice Cream...
OR: Again with the surgeons falling down, and Patrick screaming for them to leave. Liz gets thrown against the doors, but she slides down them. Oh, wait, no, this ain't Liz's first Sweeps, so she manages to get up again....aw, but then she falls again. heh. what was the point of that?
Credits.
Road: Jason drives the Mob Mobile (tm Spinelli) and tells Raynor by phone about how Bragg had an accident and Spinelli magically knew he was carrying poison, and Jason called Patrick, and Patrick started yelling it. He tells Raynor that Bragg is carrying the poison internally. Raynor reasonably doesn't like this news.
GH: Sam is there for no reason I can concieve of to hear Patrick tell her that Bragg is Plow Pox Ground Zero, and quarantine is next. Someone at abc.com called Sam "6 degrees of Sam McCall" and I wish I could remember who b/c it's hilarious and very accurate. Why is she ALWAYS there?
Emma's House: Robin is in a shiny, shiny red dress. Emma is sobbing through the monitor and Robin is trying to find someone from pediatrics to babysit. She can't get no satisfaction, so she throw the monitor at the red roses. Okay WE GET IT. blood red,,...everywhere. Robin picks up th emonitor and laments that now Emma's cries are only robotically muffled.
GH: Nik sees Chewbecca (tm Gracie from Soapnet) at the nurse's station. He tells someone he'll call them back, but then he stupidly runs away from the elevators, thinking he's following her. but if I have learned one thing in the past few days, it's if you want to find Chewbecca? Look no futher than the elevator bank!
Commercials
(I get the title really makes no sense b/c Blago was already impeached...but...well..."peach" is a flavor and "convict" is not...so...can ya just give me a little literary license? :D)
Roadside: Maxie has crashed into a snow bank. Aw, Maxie, welcome into the loving embrace of the Chicks Can NOT Drive sisterhood that this show loves to perpetuate. Random figure shows up and saves her.
Metrocourt: Wheels and Ric amusingly and hotly, accordingly, talk about how much Claud knows. She knows he's a Feets, and she thinks he shot Kate, and she has a crazy idea about The Farcockteh, or as I call the plan to make Jason whine, and Sonny kill him, and thus everyone else kill Jason.
Benefit: I would be so honored to have Edward flirt with me. Nik shows up, and Nadine asks where he was, but he acts way more defensive than her simple question warrants and sputters he was doing business. She manages to not ask what he's yammering about and says that it's not a big deal. Aw, it's so lame that Nadine is going to revert back to delightful just before they kill her. or make her leave town...whatever. I hate Emily is what I'm saying!
GH: Kate and Olivia meet. Olivia tries to stop Kate from provoking a fight with Carly or anyone tonight, of all nights. Olivia is right, but Kate now knows about Jerry Probst, so she's right too.
Phone Call GH to Cafe Interrogate: Patrick and Raynor talk about the Plow Pox and how it's air born and um....are you ...splutter. vomit. um. So, deep breath. So now Guza would have me know that a known air born pathogen was loose in the country, and their plan to solve it was to bribe a mobster? I've watched a lot of really stupid seasons of 24, but this? Is so much more stupider. and I'm including "Kim gets attacked by a cougar, but Kevin Dillon saves her" sooooo dumb.
commercials
Random Cabin! Hi Random Cabin! It was Johnny who saved Maxie! Hi, suck on this, looloo! Oh, my bad, it's a Random Radio Station? lool....no, sorry, it's a Random Mechanic's Shop. Maxie asks how he found her. He says she almost hit him.
Nurse's Station: Piph and Spin bicker. Piph says that Jason thinks and FBI guy will call her. Spin says they should evacuate,a nd she reasonably yells "into a blizzard?" and the she yells at him to leave.
GH Hall: Olivia and Kate bicker. Kate won't bother to tell Olivia what is really going on, which is her beeswax, but when Olivia reasonably says tonight is about a little boy and not Kate and Sonny. heh. But then Kate says that Olivia hates Sonny and asks like that is remotely the point. Then Kate does hilariously asks "why are you still in Port Charles?" heh. Love me some Olivia, but it's a great question. Kate decides to be a total b-word to her cousin, who stayed by her side while she recovered from a gun shot wound, and it's not acceptable to me. Kate learned something new, but she doesn't have the right to lambast Olivia like this. Olivia tearfully says she watched Sonny cold heartedly put 4 bullets into Krapov. She says he doesn't need protecting from Kate or anyone. Kate gets tearful and says she thinks she is the reason Olivia stayed. Olivia says Kate thinks she's the center of the universe. Kate clarifies that she means Dante and tells Olivia her secret is safe tonight....
suddenly Looloo clomps up and apologizes, and, folks, if looks could kill? Looloo would fit in the dust bin, with the looks of hate Olivia and Kate shoot her way. lol! That was very satisfying.
Benefit: Edward and Tracy grouse about how lil Michael has to live at Whole Foods now.
Meanwhile Claud and Sonny talk. Claud wants to reveal something about Wheels, but worries she coudl ruin her life.
Wheels rolls in at this point. Tracy and Edward give each other a look and go for a drink.
Nadine reminds me that she should end up in a volcano and starts yammering about stupid stuff. Nik finally has to shut her up. I assume chewbecca walks in at this point.
Emma's House: Robin cleans up the broken glass and tries to ignore Emma's cries. But then Emma stops crying. This makes Robin look up in concern, but then she goes back to cleaning. She tells the floor "you're okay. babies cry and fall asleep. mothers know that."
GH: Patrick has donned a Hax Mat suit and goes into the ER. Oh, good, I'm glad that he is safe, but alas, by opening the door, he released the air born toxins to...THE AIR.
and then in a giant bit of super stupidness, Liz gets put on a gurney, but then she gets wheeled by Jason and Sam....who are Haz Mat suitless....sooo.....um....they are both dead now too. Or, wait, maybe they used their righteous indignation to ward off the toxins! Yes, that makes sense.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Man, the economy is REALLY SUCKING now that people are not only abandoning fully stocked cabins, but also FULLY STOCKED auto garages. lol. hunker down, folks, even Port Charles is having a recession! Maxie and John bicker a bit, but then Maxie explains about Winnie the traitor and how she tattled on Spin, but Winspin are still friends. John accuses her of being jealous and fleeing. Maxie lets John know she knows that he lied to Loo about his nonjob.
GH; Variously equipped hazmat people try to save the OR people.
Benefit: Nadine asks who Chewbecca is. Nik asks if Nadine sees her too. Nadine says "you mean beret head? of course." Nik goes to talk to her. But then the creepiest weirdo thing happens, and it turns out that Chewbecca already has a ChewConnoh, b/c Nik accosts a woman who looks nothing like Emily. He apologizes.
Benefit: Carly challenges Wheels to write a big check. Heh, I've never thought about the Carly Factor when the truth of Michael's shooting comes out. God be with you, Wheels.
GH Hall: Olivia wipes way her stink eye and apologizes to Loo. Kate takes off.
GH: Always There Sam asks Jason how she can help. Jason gets a call from Raynor and briefs him. Again, they bring out totally infected people, this time Monica. Since Jason and Sam are already dead, I don't care, but Jason is visibly saddened to see his mother so sick. Aw, that's kind of sweet. Always There Sam takes the phone and for some reason Raynor knows that Everyone has to talk to Sam if Sam shows up, so he takes her briefing. Jason stares sadly at him mom.
Emma's: Robin has finally found a way to check on Emma. She sadly says Emma is so beautiful, and she doesn't deserve such a beautiful baby. Emma's eyes are open, but she's listless. Robin instinctively reaches out to touch her, but then she pulls back her hand and stares in alarm at her baby.
Commercials
yay, nathan Fillion has a new show!
Benefit: Is Claud a recovering alcoholic? because she never drinks. Wheels and Sonny bicker. He grotesquely offers up to the room what he thinks his daughter sex screams are like. Ric hilariously suggests some boundaries. WORD, RIC! love Wheels, but I need a Silkwood shower after that.
Carly keeps doing stuff but it's a busy show, so I really don't know what it is.
OR: a few Red Shirts are pronounced dead. Patrick drags Shawn D out of the or. FINALLY someone put up some srot of haz mat barrier, but doctors keep taking off their haz mat suits to treat the patients. Um, not that this will ever be a thing, but y'all DO know that "air born" means "if there is AIR, the toxin is BORN" RIGHT? Just consider it a Mad PSA....WEAR YOUR HAZ MAT suits when people have air born toxins on them!
Abandoned Garage: Maxie loves to talk about Luke and Laura's love story and how Looloo's brain is a mess b/c of it. But she's not being mean b/c she has the same issues. John says it sounds like Maxie has given it a lot of thought, and she snots that she doesn't lie awake thinking about it, but clearly she does b/c she has parents of the sort who rocketed a song up the pop charts in the real world after falling in love as well in this town.
Benefit: nik asks Loo to help him determine if he's crazy again by trying to figure out why he thought he saw Emily, when he really only saw Chewconnoh.
Man, a lot is going on today, folks.
GH: Jason and Spin try to figure out stuff. Patrick shows up to say something about there were Four something or others that have Plow Pox, but Bragg only lost One something or other. Jason asks about the other Four. (so I don't know if Patrick originally said 5, or if Jason is bad at math) I do know that Spinelli is now going to die b/c he's been around Jason and Sam who've been around the Plow Pox.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Johnny randomly finds some beer outside. So they drink it. I've never been that young. Maxie tells John that she can tell him her secrets b/c the other day Jason told spinelli...but then she stops herself. They stare at each other comically, and she says "see, you can trust me" heh. He says maybe not right now with the confiding, but they toast to each other.
GH: Loo is worried that Nik is seeing Tumorly again. He crazily says he saw her face as clear as he just saw Loo's, but he accosted the wrong woman. Loo says it was a case of mistaken identity. Loo decides that this is mostly about her and says she can't handle it if he's seeing dead people again. Oh, thanks, Loo, no, don't worry, nothing is wrong...as long as YOU are comfortable! Nik says it's nothing and hugs her.
Cafe Interrogate: Raynor yells at someone about the Plow Pox. Jason calls him and hands the phone to Raynor. Okay. so I was wrong, there were 5 Spheres, whatever those are, so there are 4 left. Spinelli interrupts to say that the duct from the OR leads to the board room. of COURSE it does. Why wouldn't people design multi story buildings with ducts that randomly lead to rooms on other floors? It's so cost effective and logical!
GH Hall: Kate finally finds Sonny, but she's having breathing problems and collapses.
So, not only is the Plow Pox boring to watch, it also takes a boringly stupid and illogical course through the human immune system
the end
Credits.
Road: Jason drives the Mob Mobile (tm Spinelli) and tells Raynor by phone about how Bragg had an accident and Spinelli magically knew he was carrying poison, and Jason called Patrick, and Patrick started yelling it. He tells Raynor that Bragg is carrying the poison internally. Raynor reasonably doesn't like this news.
GH: Sam is there for no reason I can concieve of to hear Patrick tell her that Bragg is Plow Pox Ground Zero, and quarantine is next. Someone at abc.com called Sam "6 degrees of Sam McCall" and I wish I could remember who b/c it's hilarious and very accurate. Why is she ALWAYS there?
Emma's House: Robin is in a shiny, shiny red dress. Emma is sobbing through the monitor and Robin is trying to find someone from pediatrics to babysit. She can't get no satisfaction, so she throw the monitor at the red roses. Okay WE GET IT. blood red,,...everywhere. Robin picks up th emonitor and laments that now Emma's cries are only robotically muffled.
GH: Nik sees Chewbecca (tm Gracie from Soapnet) at the nurse's station. He tells someone he'll call them back, but then he stupidly runs away from the elevators, thinking he's following her. but if I have learned one thing in the past few days, it's if you want to find Chewbecca? Look no futher than the elevator bank!
Commercials
(I get the title really makes no sense b/c Blago was already impeached...but...well..."peach" is a flavor and "convict" is not...so...can ya just give me a little literary license? :D)
Roadside: Maxie has crashed into a snow bank. Aw, Maxie, welcome into the loving embrace of the Chicks Can NOT Drive sisterhood that this show loves to perpetuate. Random figure shows up and saves her.
Metrocourt: Wheels and Ric amusingly and hotly, accordingly, talk about how much Claud knows. She knows he's a Feets, and she thinks he shot Kate, and she has a crazy idea about The Farcockteh, or as I call the plan to make Jason whine, and Sonny kill him, and thus everyone else kill Jason.
Benefit: I would be so honored to have Edward flirt with me. Nik shows up, and Nadine asks where he was, but he acts way more defensive than her simple question warrants and sputters he was doing business. She manages to not ask what he's yammering about and says that it's not a big deal. Aw, it's so lame that Nadine is going to revert back to delightful just before they kill her. or make her leave town...whatever. I hate Emily is what I'm saying!
GH: Kate and Olivia meet. Olivia tries to stop Kate from provoking a fight with Carly or anyone tonight, of all nights. Olivia is right, but Kate now knows about Jerry Probst, so she's right too.
Phone Call GH to Cafe Interrogate: Patrick and Raynor talk about the Plow Pox and how it's air born and um....are you ...splutter. vomit. um. So, deep breath. So now Guza would have me know that a known air born pathogen was loose in the country, and their plan to solve it was to bribe a mobster? I've watched a lot of really stupid seasons of 24, but this? Is so much more stupider. and I'm including "Kim gets attacked by a cougar, but Kevin Dillon saves her" sooooo dumb.
commercials
Random Cabin! Hi Random Cabin! It was Johnny who saved Maxie! Hi, suck on this, looloo! Oh, my bad, it's a Random Radio Station? lool....no, sorry, it's a Random Mechanic's Shop. Maxie asks how he found her. He says she almost hit him.
Nurse's Station: Piph and Spin bicker. Piph says that Jason thinks and FBI guy will call her. Spin says they should evacuate,a nd she reasonably yells "into a blizzard?" and the she yells at him to leave.
GH Hall: Olivia and Kate bicker. Kate won't bother to tell Olivia what is really going on, which is her beeswax, but when Olivia reasonably says tonight is about a little boy and not Kate and Sonny. heh. But then Kate says that Olivia hates Sonny and asks like that is remotely the point. Then Kate does hilariously asks "why are you still in Port Charles?" heh. Love me some Olivia, but it's a great question. Kate decides to be a total b-word to her cousin, who stayed by her side while she recovered from a gun shot wound, and it's not acceptable to me. Kate learned something new, but she doesn't have the right to lambast Olivia like this. Olivia tearfully says she watched Sonny cold heartedly put 4 bullets into Krapov. She says he doesn't need protecting from Kate or anyone. Kate gets tearful and says she thinks she is the reason Olivia stayed. Olivia says Kate thinks she's the center of the universe. Kate clarifies that she means Dante and tells Olivia her secret is safe tonight....
suddenly Looloo clomps up and apologizes, and, folks, if looks could kill? Looloo would fit in the dust bin, with the looks of hate Olivia and Kate shoot her way. lol! That was very satisfying.
Benefit: Edward and Tracy grouse about how lil Michael has to live at Whole Foods now.
Meanwhile Claud and Sonny talk. Claud wants to reveal something about Wheels, but worries she coudl ruin her life.
Wheels rolls in at this point. Tracy and Edward give each other a look and go for a drink.
Nadine reminds me that she should end up in a volcano and starts yammering about stupid stuff. Nik finally has to shut her up. I assume chewbecca walks in at this point.
Emma's House: Robin cleans up the broken glass and tries to ignore Emma's cries. But then Emma stops crying. This makes Robin look up in concern, but then she goes back to cleaning. She tells the floor "you're okay. babies cry and fall asleep. mothers know that."
GH: Patrick has donned a Hax Mat suit and goes into the ER. Oh, good, I'm glad that he is safe, but alas, by opening the door, he released the air born toxins to...THE AIR.
and then in a giant bit of super stupidness, Liz gets put on a gurney, but then she gets wheeled by Jason and Sam....who are Haz Mat suitless....sooo.....um....they are both dead now too. Or, wait, maybe they used their righteous indignation to ward off the toxins! Yes, that makes sense.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Man, the economy is REALLY SUCKING now that people are not only abandoning fully stocked cabins, but also FULLY STOCKED auto garages. lol. hunker down, folks, even Port Charles is having a recession! Maxie and John bicker a bit, but then Maxie explains about Winnie the traitor and how she tattled on Spin, but Winspin are still friends. John accuses her of being jealous and fleeing. Maxie lets John know she knows that he lied to Loo about his nonjob.
GH; Variously equipped hazmat people try to save the OR people.
Benefit: Nadine asks who Chewbecca is. Nik asks if Nadine sees her too. Nadine says "you mean beret head? of course." Nik goes to talk to her. But then the creepiest weirdo thing happens, and it turns out that Chewbecca already has a ChewConnoh, b/c Nik accosts a woman who looks nothing like Emily. He apologizes.
Benefit: Carly challenges Wheels to write a big check. Heh, I've never thought about the Carly Factor when the truth of Michael's shooting comes out. God be with you, Wheels.
GH Hall: Olivia wipes way her stink eye and apologizes to Loo. Kate takes off.
GH: Always There Sam asks Jason how she can help. Jason gets a call from Raynor and briefs him. Again, they bring out totally infected people, this time Monica. Since Jason and Sam are already dead, I don't care, but Jason is visibly saddened to see his mother so sick. Aw, that's kind of sweet. Always There Sam takes the phone and for some reason Raynor knows that Everyone has to talk to Sam if Sam shows up, so he takes her briefing. Jason stares sadly at him mom.
Emma's: Robin has finally found a way to check on Emma. She sadly says Emma is so beautiful, and she doesn't deserve such a beautiful baby. Emma's eyes are open, but she's listless. Robin instinctively reaches out to touch her, but then she pulls back her hand and stares in alarm at her baby.
Commercials
yay, nathan Fillion has a new show!
Benefit: Is Claud a recovering alcoholic? because she never drinks. Wheels and Sonny bicker. He grotesquely offers up to the room what he thinks his daughter sex screams are like. Ric hilariously suggests some boundaries. WORD, RIC! love Wheels, but I need a Silkwood shower after that.
Carly keeps doing stuff but it's a busy show, so I really don't know what it is.
OR: a few Red Shirts are pronounced dead. Patrick drags Shawn D out of the or. FINALLY someone put up some srot of haz mat barrier, but doctors keep taking off their haz mat suits to treat the patients. Um, not that this will ever be a thing, but y'all DO know that "air born" means "if there is AIR, the toxin is BORN" RIGHT? Just consider it a Mad PSA....WEAR YOUR HAZ MAT suits when people have air born toxins on them!
Abandoned Garage: Maxie loves to talk about Luke and Laura's love story and how Looloo's brain is a mess b/c of it. But she's not being mean b/c she has the same issues. John says it sounds like Maxie has given it a lot of thought, and she snots that she doesn't lie awake thinking about it, but clearly she does b/c she has parents of the sort who rocketed a song up the pop charts in the real world after falling in love as well in this town.
Benefit: nik asks Loo to help him determine if he's crazy again by trying to figure out why he thought he saw Emily, when he really only saw Chewconnoh.
Man, a lot is going on today, folks.
GH: Jason and Spin try to figure out stuff. Patrick shows up to say something about there were Four something or others that have Plow Pox, but Bragg only lost One something or other. Jason asks about the other Four. (so I don't know if Patrick originally said 5, or if Jason is bad at math) I do know that Spinelli is now going to die b/c he's been around Jason and Sam who've been around the Plow Pox.
Commercials
Abandoned Garage: Johnny randomly finds some beer outside. So they drink it. I've never been that young. Maxie tells John that she can tell him her secrets b/c the other day Jason told spinelli...but then she stops herself. They stare at each other comically, and she says "see, you can trust me" heh. He says maybe not right now with the confiding, but they toast to each other.
GH: Loo is worried that Nik is seeing Tumorly again. He crazily says he saw her face as clear as he just saw Loo's, but he accosted the wrong woman. Loo says it was a case of mistaken identity. Loo decides that this is mostly about her and says she can't handle it if he's seeing dead people again. Oh, thanks, Loo, no, don't worry, nothing is wrong...as long as YOU are comfortable! Nik says it's nothing and hugs her.
Cafe Interrogate: Raynor yells at someone about the Plow Pox. Jason calls him and hands the phone to Raynor. Okay. so I was wrong, there were 5 Spheres, whatever those are, so there are 4 left. Spinelli interrupts to say that the duct from the OR leads to the board room. of COURSE it does. Why wouldn't people design multi story buildings with ducts that randomly lead to rooms on other floors? It's so cost effective and logical!
GH Hall: Kate finally finds Sonny, but she's having breathing problems and collapses.
So, not only is the Plow Pox boring to watch, it also takes a boringly stupid and illogical course through the human immune system
the end
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