GH Recaps 11/14: Kelly's My Darling, you are my sunshine....

You have crossed the line, Show. I know you love killing babies (Sam's, Lili's, Clumpy Morgancell.) Dooming Michael to grow older at Whole Foods Union Square was really crossing the line.

But Kelly's?

Where Liz and the Good Lucky first met? The place with broken toaster and the clumpy chili? The place where Port Chuckians go daily to get coffee and gossip because Starbucks is EVERYWHERE except Port Charles? Aunt Ruby....Jessie Brewer, anyone? Jagger broke into Kelly's back in the day. Liz ordered a beer here when she was underaged. The QUARTERMAINES lived at Kelly's when they were once bankrupt, for heavens sake. The Quart. Er. Maines. It's where Lila developed Pickle Lila. Miquel and Brenda "lived above Kelly's" Tammy the hooker! The place where anyone can go and press a button on the jukebox and the perfect song that no one has ever heard but the music producers of ABC will begin to play, and it will perfectly illustrate the love, hope, heartbreak and desolation of any character at any time, and somehow the character magically knew that B-12 was the perfect song for their personal situation? The place where EVERY ingenue lives, for at least a little while, before she gets "saved" by some man in town. I doubt there is a single character, past or present, who hasn't had a meaningful moment at Kelly's, and if they didn't, they never mattered that much to the show, is my point. Every single fan of the show adores a memorable scene that happened at Kelly's.

but this is the place you burn down for The Danger? Not Sonnybucks (heh, I can't even remember who coined that, but it's still a favorite of mne), not any of the Alleydocks? Not Corinthaus?

Lemme guess, you actually considered burning down the hospital itself or the Quartermaine mansion but thought the better of it? well, thank you for that, I guess.

I can see how people put up with Sonny and Jason when it's just Alan that is killed. when it's just chucky who ends up at Whole Foods. when it's just a pregnant newlywed who is blown up. when it's just a train that derails. when it's just a hotel that catches on fire. when it's just one of Sonny's or Jason's stupid lovers who are in danger.

but KELLY'S?

I don't see how every character doesn't show up at Corinthaus with a pitchfork and a torch and ask him to kindly get the hellouttatown or face the music. You know, the music that used to play on the jukebox at KELLY'S?

So join me now, singing along with Woody from Cheers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hJjx7jTHA8



More...

Kelly's: It's all sadly boarded up already. Looloo finds it in surprise. Johnny shows up to be maudlin with her.

jason's Office: maxie for some reason is only just now telling Jason and Spinelli about seeing the Russians. So how did the fire get put out already, and the place boarded up?

Rissian Room of Shadows: Sascha and Smirnov and Belvedere hang out and speak to a Speaker Phone Guy about their night of mischief.

Hospital: Mike is in the hotel room. Sonny morosely says "they said they'd retaliate. Because of me." and as per usual, he's all sad and surprised and can't believe it's come to this WHEN HE FULL WELL KNEW HE WAS ...oh, nevermind. just HATE!

Credits

Kelly's al Fresco: Johnny asks if Loo knows his father did this. Loo then starts yammering about trying to process that her mother was catatonic and then 20 minutes later, she was on a plane to France. Looloo says she is used to having to walk on eggshells around Laura. SHe is acting like Laura has been visiting Catatonia off and on for decades. Loo says she got a call from Bobbie about Kelly's. Aw, poor Bobbie, she doesn't even get a scene being sad about her cafe. I'm just so hating this scene with the plywood and "do not cross" yellow tape.

Nurse's Station: Liz is so aggitated. It is annoying when you put in the diaphragm and then don't get to use it, I guess. She drops and fusses. Sam shows up to ask if Liz has a minute. lol. Liz says it's not a good time. I assume she "The Cenozoic Era" is not a good time. Sam promises nothing happened with Jason.

jason's office: Jason interprets for Spinelli and asks if she heard anything. She thinks she heard Russian. Jason asks if she talked to anyone. She says she didn't tell Mac and didn't tell 911 her number. Jason said she did good, but she has to go. She's grumpy, but he says she proved she couldn't keep her mouth shut last night. I guess he knows that Maxie sent Liz over to his house? How does he know that...oh, wait, what am I saying. He knows what everyone within a 50 mile radius had for breakfast by listening closely.

Mike's Room: Sonny sits around and blames himself because it's his fault, and Mike stupidly, lamely, pathetically, (anyone got a thesaurus?) tells him it's not his fault and not to blame himself. What is wrong with people. Kate shows up to visit Mike and is surprised to see Sonny. Mike says it looks worse than it is and he's a fast healer. Sonny just creepily stares at her and strokes the Beard with a finger. Kate tells Mike there won't be a new wedding b/c they are through. Yep, heard that one before.

Commercials




Robin's Room: That baby is so teeny and cute. Patrick is worried Robin will get fatigued holding the baby. Why does robin talk like a Robot sometimes? Like she's Data. Who talks in these long, informative speeches? patrick says he wouldn't know how to be a dad without her. She says he totally fixed a tricky cabinet once, and it will be just like that as a dad. Patrick teases her for suddenly being optimistic. She says when she woke up and saw their family, it restored her faith in miracles. Robin then, with her non stop bleeding evisceration wound, SITS UP and hands the baby to Patrick. and thus she busts all her stitches and bleeds out instantly. why can't they ever be vaguely realistic?

Kelly's al Fresco: Loo and Johnny talk about how they don't know who did it. Loo says Kelly's has always been around for her family. She angrily asks why someone would deliberately destroy it. Good question!

Nurse's Station: Sam wants to not go backwards from the good place she and Liz have managed to get to. Sam admits she's still with Lucky. Liz apologizes for over reacting and says they are having a tough time. She confides that it's confusing b/c one minute they are going off to Italy and then... and Sam empathizes and says "but business gets in the way." Sam says that Liz knows Jason loves her. Liz says she knows, but Jason says love is not enough, and she's starting to believe it. Sam says it will be difficult, but she just wants it to be clear that she and Jason are done and nothing has happened to change that. Liz wanly smiles in appreciation of this and Sam leaves.

Jason's Office: maxie sputters that Jason just said she did good, but he reveals that he put his fingers in the air and executed the mind reading application installed in them and discerned that she did tell Liz about Sam. She leaves, defeated. Spinelli tries to defend her, but jason angrily explains that he can't have people doing petty things that backfire, and he especially can't have Liz get hurt.

Maxie leaves Wheatgrass Cafe with two coffees. Smirnoff notices her and decides to try to get one of her coffees. Or, also, maybe he's trying to hurt her. boo!

Mike's Room: Olivia eaveslurks and listens ot Kate repeat what Jax has been saying to Carly for days: that the problem isn't even limosex, it's limoeverythingelse. it's everythingelsesex. It's Carly and Sonny always pick each other, and everyone else comes second. Sonny says he can't argue, but everyone close to him is going to be a target.

and I'm going to count to 10 and not scream very loudly that it's so aggravating that EVERY single person who knows Sonny has been telling him that this is PRECISELY what would happen if he went down this idiotic path of killing Krapov, and yet now he's acting like this is some new, grave bit of business that no one could have forseen. and now we all have to work together to fix it. Basically, Sonny is Mayor Nagin, Michael Brown, and George Bush rolled into one, idiotic, incompetent loser, except he's also Neptune and actually is responsible for the hurricane as well.

Commercials

Robin's Room: Shawn Douglas stops by to visit Robin. She says the "instant family" thing is kind of strange. She says she has experience in this area, and it gets easier. He looks at pics of Emma and says he sees her twice a day. She thinks that's sweet, and teases she might just start to think he's nice. He teases that he's just worried about Emma growing up with just Patrick. Robin asks him to Patricksit for awhile, so she can get a break from his hovering.

Z'House: Johnny finds Wheels reading the paper. Wheels giddily tells about kelly's being torched, a 'truck yard" being burned and Sonny's dad getting beat up. He says it's nice to read good news for a change. heh. Johnny implies that Wheels is responsible, and he, of course, feigns being innocent. John thinks Wheels did this to hurt Looloo and send her back to Shadyrose. Wheels says John thinks people think about Looloo a lot more than they do. Word. Wheels says that obviously Krapov did this to retaliate.

Jason's Office: Bernie is giving details to Jason about the Russian Rapscallions. Some truck yard is not salvageable. Bernie says he believes Jason will consider the men who work for him and consider how things will affect them. Bernie angrily says that Sonny doesn't do such things, and the men in Jason's army are angry. I'm thinking it's sort of like Saruman's Army out there. Jason says he'll call a meeting with the Lt's, but Bernie says they are ahead of him, and meet at Pier 10 in an hour. jason says he has to do something first. Bernie says "the town is going to be in rubble, Jason, what could possibly be more important?"

Mike's Room: Well, I can tell you one thing, Bernie: It would be whatever is going on in Mike's room where Sonny, Mike and Kate are hanging around and being whiny.

Commercials

Robins' Room: Apparently bleeding to death is pleasant. Robin cheerfully holds her baby and tells her a long story about how she and Patrick are control freaks. Patrick comes in and says she's busted and says it was obvious that Shawn Douglas would never invite him to dinner, and that she was obviously trying to get rid of him. Epiphany comes in to say that Robin and Emma are released. Oh, so she got cured? I guess I just missed that part?

Z'House: Wheels says the fall out from Krapov's murder will work just as well as Sonny coming to him directly. The Russians are going for blanket The Dangerer, so last night they came after Jason as well as Sonny. Wheels calls Jason "that Bazooka" hah! Johnny says Jason will want to protect his interests and will distance himself from Sonny. Sonny will be alone, so next time he comes to Wheels, he'll need protection for himself as well as Kate. Wheels is impressed with Johnny's understanding. Wheels, for some wacky reason, is still wanting Sonny to marry Claud. I'm so confused by this. Because then Wheels will protect Sonny from the Russians?

Mike's Room: Mike pathetically says Sonny had to strike back after he was knifed at the docks. Sonny says the Russians torched jason's holdings as well. Then he says Krapov's people are trying to get rid of any ally he has, but he weirdly pronounces it "aye-lie" He thinks he should go to Jason.

GH: Olivia shows up to still be obsessed with talking about Sonny constantly. Well, at least she is becoming gradually more annoying each day, so it won't bum me out as much when she sleeps with him. I would love it if Olivia just flat out shot Sonny. Olivia says she hired a private security force for Kate's house. How did she pay for it? Kate asks why Olivia is being so over the top. Olivia says Sonny just scratches whatever itch he needs to scratch and leaves the consequences for everything. Kate says protection from the mob is an illusion. She says if having been with Sonny makes her a target, there is nothing that can be done. Olivia says she wouldn't be so sure and leaves. Kate, why don't you go down to the docks with a target on your chest?

Commercials

Sams' Apartment: Maxie shows up with the coffees and to apologize to Sam for tattling about seeing her with Jason after Liz was rude to her. Sam says it's probably good in a weird way that Liz walked in when she did.

Nurse's Station: Jason walks up to Liz in a rush and asks to talk to her. Liz says she's working. Then bitterly adds "and like you, my work is important to me." heh. Jason says a lot has happened, and he needs to talk to her about it, and he'll wait. He goes to sit and wait while she pouts a little longer.

Wheatgrass Cafe: Olivia shows up and starts harassing the barrista to round up Jason. He's like "I just make coffee", but she tells him she knows there must be an emergency number, so call it and tell him she's waiting. She makes herself comfy in jason's office. Because what mobster would leave his office locked? Meanwhile, Smirnoff, Belvedere and Grey Goose show up with bats and malitov cocktails and start smashing the place. I think I've seen this before. It was a weird art house film made in the 40's about the danger of poor sportsmanship.

Commercials

Kelly's al fresco: Loo has summoned Johnny back, and they confirm that they know about the Russian Rapscallions. john still says it's from the world he's fron. That is father is giddy in anticipation for more rapscallawaggery. Loo says Wheels lives here too. Johnny says that their house already floated down the Hudson from where it used to be, so it's not like they can't just unattach and move further downstream. blah blah they kiss.

Sam's Apartment: Sam says she loved the danger, and thinking on her feet, and the stakes, that she felt like her old self. Maxie says she sounds like Luke and suggests they hook up. Sam says she's already found her perfect partner in crime. We see Stolichnaya is outside approaching the door, as Sam describes how she and Lucky get along and don't even have to talk, but she doesn't say Lucky's name, so Maxie teases "that must work out well for Jason" Sam bops her with a pillow.

Blue Stairwell: Jason and Liz meet. He says that he didn't show up last night b/c someone tried to kill him, that he's being retaliated in an attack on Sonny. Liz says "what?" like this is somehow shocking to her. Even though this man was holding her child when he got a call to go murder someone. He says he lost a lot of men. Then he senses something in the distance. She asks what is wrong. he says "see that glow over yonder? I think that's my office." Uh oh, how can Jason be uncertain of something? I feel so lost and cold.

Jason's Flaming Office: (ha) Olivia is trapped inside, and the flames are very high. I have no idea how she can possibly still breathe. Apparently no one ever taught her about getting close to the ground. Sonny shows up to big, fat stupid save her, even though she's only in danger because of him.

The end.