GH Recap 1/6: Sorry, I was too busy cheering for the Longhorns...

GH: Nik and Nadine make cute at the nurse's station. She randomly opens her mail there because if there's one thing people on this show love to do, it's be unprofessional. It's a letter from the IRS, and they are auditing her for the past 5 years. That totally blows, but it's not like her records should really be all that complicated, right? When I was in my early 20's, I just did the 1040EZ and never took any deductions or anything that would be of any interest to anyone.

Sam's Apartment: MaxieS still has her terror hair. Maxie asks Sam for help with Spinelli. She's torn b/c she's used to being the girl who steals other people's boyfriends. But really, other than Lucky, how often has she actually done that? She claims she will, but she doesn't actually go through with it. When did Sam redecorate her apartment? Maxie corrects herself that Spinelli isn't her boyrfriend, but she doesn't want to lose him.

Emma's Closet: Robin is "experiencing" PPD by boringly pointing out that there are a lot of things to be afraid of in the world. Patrick says she's not acting like herself (even though she absolutely is acting as whiny and tortured as ever) and she defensively asks him what that's supposed to mean. So for those of you hoping for a PPD storyline that was more than just these two dolts sitting around and talking about it, for those that were hoping that the writers would write a set of behaviors and situations that a woman suffering from PPD goes through, you can rest assured that you will never get such things from this show. I recommend youtubing Lauren on Y&R, though. A+ stuff!

Haunted Star: Mike is working with Luke now.

Corinthaus: Claud and Carly hang out in horribly clashing reds. It's like watching an act of violence, seeing these to colors together. Carly flops her floppy hair down on "the couch she picked out" and is going to wait for Sonny. Claud says that she thinks Carly is hoping that Sonny ends up with no powers with the Z's and that "your little Jason" ends up on top.

Commercials

GH: Nadine asks how one corporation can have so much power to get the IRS to audit someone. Nik says its called the military-industrial complex. I think we're still just saying Illuminati, Nik. Also, it's just an audit. They suck, but it's not like they uses leeches anymore. Nik says he has the resources to fight the Illuminati and asks Alexis to help him.

Docks: Spinelli and Winifred talk in gobbledygook. Blah blah, he has a hacker, and she wants to help him find out the hacker's intent. Maxie happens by and calls Winnie a stalker. She says she's onto Winnie.

Emma's Closet: Patrick wants to talk to Kelly about the fact that Robin may be suffering PPD. She's angry and defensive and angrily tells him to drop it. Because that's totally how you act when everything is fine.

Corinthaus: Claud says Carly is playing a game and backd Jason since he took over. well, more accurately, she devised the plan that PUT Jason in power, but the other part is true. Carly finally gets off the sofa and says she had planned to stay out of all this (ha!), but Claud's snotty accusations are starting to change her mind.

Commercials

Corinthaus: Carly says Sonny only married Claud to get access the scary Z power. Blah blah Claud says that Sonny won't give up the power. Carly thinks he will. They are all but spraying pheromones all over the sofa cushions.

Metrocourt: Jax and Olivia chat. She's got a blue blackberry or something. She says she's looking for jobs, and that dealerships aren't hiring now. She says he probably wouldn't know this, but jobs are disappearing faster than you can say "Go, Nicks" and then she says "that's a basketball team." heh, why does Olivia think Jax is an idiot? Not that I don't agree, but most women in this town are supposed to think he's God's gift. Jax realizes that Olivia has done something to help one of his maintenance guys, so he decides to hire her.

Cafe Interrogate: Looloo and Ric hang out for no reason. Ric leaves and Looloo says, verbatim "I hope you burn in hell, and bring Johnny's father with you." Ric hotly says "nice to see you too." and leaves. heh. and shut up, Looloo. Apparently Johnny is in jail? Again? but Looloo is once again blaming Everyone Else? She would totally win Rock of Love, that one.

GH: Nik and Nadine bring Alexis up to date about Plowgate. Nadine doesn't believe Raylene would know they are using it as a weapon. Nik gives Alexis the IRS audit letter. Alexis gets very political and says these Arch Enemy Masons, or whoever, get defense contracts and then men and women get killed, while they line their pockets. Basically, Nadine is fighting an army of Dick Cheney's. She asks how they fight them, and Mr. Mad giggles. Alexis says it won't be easy and then says it's a matter of national security. Well, then call Keifer Sutherland. He's much better at handling this type of stuff!

Docks: hilarity ensues, I suppose, as Maxie continues to be jealous of Winnie.

Commercials

Emma's Closet: Robin frantically cleans a door knob and a teddy bear. She sprays the heck out of the teddy bear, as if the toxins from the cleaner arent' also bad for the baby. Patrick comes home with a negligee. Even though Kimberly McCullough isn't wear a single ounce of padding to make it look like she had a baby, Robin balks at the sexiness and says she's not ready. the hell? Isn't there a rather mandatory refrain from sex edict that, as a doctor, he would obviously know? This is the clumsiest storyline ever.

Sam's Apartment: Lucky catches Sam talking to someone about The Danger.

Haunted Star: Looloo visits Luke and explains that Wheels framed Johnny for something because he wants to control Johnny. Oh, apparently Wheels had a guy beat up and then the guy named Johnny. But, um, Johnny actually DID knock a cop out and left him to die on the side of the road, so even if Johnny didn't beat up this guy, LOOLOO, he is a bit of a maniac.

GH: Alexis makes a power call. Nik assures Nadine that Natasha is their girl. Alexis says their best option is to go to Equinox's number 1 customer, which happens o be the US government. Alexis has a friend who's friends with the "incoming administration" Okay, what in the hell? These dolts are going to go bother Obama about Plowgate? Because the recession, 2 wars, economy in the chitter, none of that is enough? "it turns out people make weapons, Mr. President, and we want to stop it!" Sooooooooooooooo ddddduuuuuuummmmmmbbbbbbbbb! Somehow Nadine says she ahs to do this to protect people like Bruce who are fighting over there. I guess "there" being Iraq or Afganistan? Who the hell is Bruce? and maybe this Bruce person actually needs the weapon that the plow coupler makes. and also, why wouldn't the government just say "okay, little girl, we'll quit using the plow part, and quit giving you millions of dollars" but then just big fat KEEP using the plow part b/c how the heck is she going to prove it, and what is she really going to do if she does? Also, not for nothing, you ding dongs, but it's one thing to ruffle Sonny's feathers. If this stupid show is going to now tell me that the UNITED STATES MILITARY is going to back down because of Natasha, then I will likely literally die from laughing.

Metrocourt: Olivia says she's not qualified for the job, but Jax says it's basically like the parts department at a car dealership. I've slept on sheets that felt like I was sleeping on floor mats, so he has a point. Olivia thinks they need to run it by Carly, but he disagrees.

Commercials:

Sam's Apartment: Sam doesn't want to talk about this. He says she was talking to Jason, someone she used to live with, about setting up an urgent meeting. She unfairly says he does that all the time with Liz. He insists she still has something for Jason. She demands he not treat her like a suspect, and he sadly asks her not to treat him like the enemy. Aw, Lucky actually said something that made sense.

Haunted Star: Luke and Looloo and Xylophone Guy head out to save Johnny.

Metrocourt: Olivia asks Jax why he wants to work with her. He says he likes working with Kate, and she's smart, and Olivia is Kate's cousin, so she must be smart. Olivia says on her best day, she's way better than Kate. Olivia agrees to work for him with a shrug.

Corinthaus: This conversation is still going on. Claud says Carly is out of Sonny's life now, and she's not getting back in. That line makes Top 10 Dumbest Lines ever on this show. Carly just smiles b/c it was so stupid for claud to challenge her like that and calmly and even warmly says she's gonna be getting rid of Claud next. Claud sits down to listen to Jerry drone on about puzzle pieces.

Docks: Maxie brings Spinelli a soda. Spinelli is sad that Maxie hates Winnie. Maxie insists she knows that there is something suspect about Winnie, and she can't be trusted. All of this would be well and good of Maxie really had reason to suspect Winnie, but I doubt she does. She's just being petty and jealous.

The End


This week

Shots of Spinelli being arrested. maxie calls someone, Jason presumably, to tell him.

Narrator asks "To save one friend......"

We get lots of shots of Spinelli in jail, with Maxie visiting him through glass. (Maybe someone finally read the manual at PCPD and realized that prisoners don't get to hang out in the interrogation room for hours at a time?) We see Winnie, now with her frizzy hair out of the braids. She puts her hands under her arm pits, and then she smells them like this.

Raynor tells Jason "we want Sonny, and unless you cooperate, Spinelli goes away for life."

Narrator continues "will he bring down another?"

Sonny angrily asks "is it worth it to save Spinelli?"

in a word, Sonny, hellyes