GH Recap 12/22:

Emma's Closet: Robin asks Robert to walk her down the aisle. He is deeply honored, and he loves her, but he can't. the hell?

Alleydocks: Sascha writhes in pain. Jason begs her to tell him where Sam is. She gurgles something.

Sink Hole: Sam leans against a post and dreams of watching that lady kidnap Jakeson. Did that lady always look so much like a chubby Amy Ryan? In the dream, Sam angrily stops the lady and says Jakeson is not her baby. The lady sobs and hands the baby to Sam, while Liz looks on in surprise. In the present her make up still looks unsmudged. That's nice.

Carly's House: Sonny and Monty greet each other.

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Emma's Closet: Robert thinks he's been a bad dad and has no right. Why does he think he gets a vote? If she wants Epiphany to walk her down the aisle, the nice thing to do is be gracious and accept. Robert does bring up a good point that it should be Mac. Robin says she's grateful to Mac, but he's her dad.

Corinthaus: Claud goes back to watching Jerry's DVD. Why doesn't she go somewhere more discreet? blah blah, hidden DVD of Danger. oh, gawd, there is a series of these stupid DVD's? So it IS like a survivor puzzle. Stupid mazes and bags of puzzle pieces. Claud starts to look in all the windows, but Ric hotly shows up to ask what she's looking for. He says maybe he can help. I think he means maybe he can hotly help.

Carly's House: poor Monty has to hear his miserable parents try to pretend they are in any way competent and cheer him up about Chucky. Monty is so going to set fire to the town one day. And look so handsome doing it! Sonny does look almost relaxed and happy, though. I think Monty is only a mime around Sonny b/c he's been chatty lately, but he can only gulp and nod in his father's presence. Sonny says Chucky would want Monty to be happy and have a great Christmas. Even the Christmas music is set at a whiny,maudlin level.

Alleydocks: Jason searches through Sascha's pockets and pulls out what I believe is her phone. He finally remembers there's a shooter somewhere, so he crouches behind some boxes. he looks around, and then trots off in a silly looking run. But he's Superjase, so he could have done the mashed potato across the docks and still not been shot.

Sink Hole: Sam dreams of Liz thankingher for saving Jakeson. Sam wakes with a start and looks around her new digs.

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Jason's Penthouse: Spinelli is on the phone trying to find out where Jason is. He tries to pretend it's no big deal, but then he blurts out "we are at Defcon 1, Red Alert" Why would Spinelli not have at least seen War Games enough to know this makes no sense? Jason shows up, so Spinelli cancels the red alert. Jason angrily tells him to ask El Laptopo where the blahblahgurglegurgle is that Sascha grunted about.

Alleydocks: Luke is on the phone yelling at someone, and then he discovers Sascha's body. he approaches it gingerly and checks for a pulse. Robert happens by at this moment, as he so often does after Luke finds a dead body.

Corinthaus: Claud looks as nervous as a cat and says she dropped an ornament and is trying to find it. Ric hotly says she doesn't pick up after Sonny. Claud calms down and acts like she's just nervous about getting a tree against his wishes. Ric hotly asks if Sonny hurt her. he says she can always call him when Sonny gets upset. Ric sees a broken ornament on the floor. He says he gets that Sonny gets mad, but he doesn't get her wanting to fix it. Ric hotly says the ornament is over here. Since Claud didn't really think there was an ornament, she looks confused. She's going to glue it back together, so Sonny will trust her and she can get what she's after. Ric asks here what she's after. (he has noticed the DVD case, so she needs a diversion) She kisses him and invites him upstairs. Ric happily obliges.

Carly's House: Carly sends Monty upstairs, as she does, and Sonny asks why she called him over. She says she doesn't want him to spend Christmas in a hotel, or missing his dad and brother, so she just wanted to start over. He appreciates it. She says Sonny was right about Chucky, he loved Christmas. he did? That seems like an odd thing for a little boy to do. She says Christmas is supposed to be about miracles, so she hopes theirs can be that they heal. Well, Christmas is also not supposed to be about murdering people for a living, so maybe cut that chit out too!

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Emma's Closet: Robin tells Anna and patrick about Robert wanting to ask Mac about walking her down the aisle. Robin asks Anna to be maid of honor.

Alleydocks: Luke and Robert get caught up and decide that obviously as a heart patient and cancer patient, they should go get drunk. Robert asks about the body, and Luke shrugs and boredly says he doesn't know her. He thinks she's a schill for the Russian mob. (Mr. Mad had stopped in to grab something and laughs out loud at this. He's crazy about the Russian Mob being a Thing on the show. "Isn't this a show about a hospital?" he naively asks.

Corinthaus: Claud hurriedly undresses to throw Ric off the scent of the scavenger hunt Jerry has her on.

Metrocourt: Jax and Kate run into each other and have a boring conversation. She asks if he wants to spend Christmas together. Woof, is Kate ever a strange broad.

Carly's House: Sonny uses this incredibly hateable tone and chastises Carly that she has a double standard that keeps Sonny from his kids, but she hangs out with Jason. Carly says Monty never sees Jason, only she does. Sonny says she still sees Jason, which means she blames Sonny more than Jason. Damn straight she does. This would be like Sonny saying "it's like you are blaming WWI on the assassination of Arch Duke Ferdinand." and also, you IDIOT, she GAVE UP HER MARRIAGE TO SAVE YOU. ugh are they making Sonny more hateable so I'll have nothing left for Natalia Livingston? It may be working. Carly says she doesn't want this fight. Sonny hateably says basically that if she's going to be nice enough to let him see his kids he gave up rights to, she has to admit she blames him.

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Alleydocks: Mac and the cops have arrived. Mac angrily says if he wasn't so happy to see Robert, he'd punch his lights out. The brothers Scorpio embrace.

Jason's Penthouse: Jason tries to tell Spinelli all of Sascha's clues, including one about white rock. Jason tells Spinelli to have Laptopo turn on all the video cameras in all the mines and rock quarries in the tri-state area. Spinelli punches all of 20 buttons and says he found a quarry that was for white granite. Oh, and the name of the Quarry just happens to be "Quarry That Is Hard To Escape From If you Are Short and Busty and Tend To Wear Leather" Jason and Spinelli wonder if this could be where Sam is.

Sink Hole: Sam is down to singing about 22 bottles of beer to stay awake. She tries to pace around, but she eventually faints.

Corinthaus: ric and claud enjoy the afterglow. he warns her about Sonny b/c talking about your brother in bed is really not creepy at all, I guess. Ric understates that he made some serious mistakes when it comes to Carly years ago. heh. Ah, how glorious it was. Ric says Sonny never forgives. (well, he technically does. and also, Ric? NO ONE ever forgives chaining their pregnant wife to a wall. I'm pretty sure even Jesus would wince and say "dude! not cool!") Claud says she's staying b/c she doesn't see how she can leave. She stares blankly and thinks of the stupid puzzle and scavenger hunt she's trapped in thanks to Jerry and Ian.

Carly's House: Carly says that Jason says they are all responsible. She says Monty doesn't have to pay for those mistakes, and he needs both of them. She says she'd hoped this Christmas can be the beginning. and even though Sonny is clearly insane still and living in some shame and guilt spiral, she's just gonna go ahead and let his maniac around her kid on a regular basis. She sobs that he has to promise to keep Monty safe. as if his promises mean anything. I have several stocks that mean more than Sonny's promises. She believes if they are honest and talk, they can make it work. Sonny says he appreciates this, and he knows what it cost her. But his voice is dead and annoying, and he clearly knows no such thing. Monty runs downstairs with a Christmas ornament for chucky. Carly tearfully asks him to hang it on the tree. In spite of what an idiot she is, Carly can't help but to be happy watching Sonny and Monty snuggle in to each other and watch the tree and miss Chucky.

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Alleydocks: Mac says he doesn't suspect Luke or Robert for Sascha's murder. Mac and Robert talk about Robin's wedding. Mac thinks it would be great if Robert walks Robin down the aisle. Robert rightly says that Mac did all the heavy work of being Robin's dad. Mac says he already walked her once, but she wants Robert, and that's how it should be. He threatens to throw Robert in jail if he won't, just to sweeten the pot.

Emma's Closet: Anna also is having a case of the seriously not worthy's and says it should be Maxie. See, the thing about Maid of Honor, is you don't pick the person who is your favorite person, per se. You are picking the person you know you can count on the help you do all the hard work of making the wedding happen. Who will keep you calm and sane. Maxie is who has been doing this, and it's crappy to just blow her off. I know she won't mind, but Anna spends a total of three minutes on this whole thing.

Metrocourt: Jax and Kate have a very fast forwardable conversation.

Sink Hole: Jason found Sam and says it's going to be okay.

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Mr. Mad clarifies that this is not live, but that there are not a lot of takes for quality.

Emma's Closet: General pleasant chat about family and such. Robin gives a truly lovely toast to learning the meaning of family and being encouraged to make her own from them. sweet.

Sink Hole: Spinelli hollers down that he's waiting for the ambulance. Mr. Mad snorts "ugh, this ridiculous guy" Jason has wrapped some sort of silver blanket around her. We giggle that she has hypothermia, but there is no frost from their breath or any snow, and in fact, Jason looks sweaty. Sam cries weakly that she dreamt she hadn't let his son be kidnapped and she wished it was true. Jason's eyes grow sad as the ambulance approaches.

Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny toast with amber colored wine glasses that I covet.

metrocourt: Monty and Carly find Jax. Monty is a sex maniac like his brother and points out the mistletoe. Jax and Carly kiss dramatically, and Mr. Mad snorts that you're not supposed to make out.

the end