GH Recap 12/02:

Z'House: Trevor and Carly continue to plot about bringing down kHate. I think I already saw this movie. Both versions actually. I don't even mind watching the two actors b/c they are entertaining. But the storyline is just absolutely silly. Does Trevor have any power over ANYONE at this point? He already "destroyed" kHate, and she rebuilt a new magazine empire in 12 minutes.

Corinthaus: Sonny and Claud fight. Sonny stilts "when I.......want your advice..........I will ask .....for it......" I love Sonny. Sonny suddenly turns to Ric, who's boredly sitting on a chair and asks "Ric, is there something interesting about my wife?" and that can't be the complete line, but Maurice is clearly done, so we cut to credits.

Credits

Beachbum Corners: Looloo and Johnny fight about his fighting with the cop. John says the cop was a disgrace to his badge. But he thinks that b/c he thinks the cop should have arrested him for parking in the wrong spot. Yet he DOESN'T think he should stick around and be arrested for assaulting a cop. So, shut up, Johnny's hypocrisy.

Q Living Room: Monica, Edward, Edward's Hat and Alice bicker about what to do with Tracy and Luke. Tracy angrily busts in and yells at them. Tracy is angry that Monica moved some sort of charity meeting at the hospital. General Hospital confuses the hell out of me. It clearly has an entire floor devoted to various board rooms for Quartermaine and Cassadine interests, yet the Q's seem to hold all their board meetings in their living room slash dining room slash breakfast room slash library slash bar slash parlor. The rest of the Q's leave, and Tracy pours a stiff drink. Alan pops up, still in a jogging suit. He and Tracy and Xylophone Guy plink plonk along. Alan wants Tracy to work things out with Luke, but she refuses.

Corinthaus: Ric says he meant no disrespect but just wanted to move the meeting along to discuss profits, or something. Sonny asks to speak to Claud alone, and she says she should stay for the meeting b/c nobody knows the business better than her. She promises not to speak, just sit and file away things that need to be corrected and explain them to him later. heh, that's sort of awesome that she just said that. Sonny pretends to be sanguine and says he doesn't know what he was thinking. Sonny's beard tells the room that they'll reconvene at 9am tomorrow. Ric stands around to hotly make suggestions. Sonny's beard wilts and says that both Claud and Ric are trying to tell Sonny what to do, but the beard doesn't trust either of them. Claud says she's Sonny's wife, so her and Sonny's interests are one and the same. I think Sonny's beard thinks it is Don Draper.

Commercials

Beachbum Corners: Johnny and Looloo continue to celebrate themselves for being so awesome as to assault a cop b/c they didn't like the way the cop spoke to them. Or whatever. It's likely freezing outside, and they left a man unconscious on the side of the road, at night. Who knows if some other driver doesn't accidentally run over him? Forgive me if I loathe Johnny and Looloo for acting like the cop was the bad guy.

Corinthaus: Sonny blathers about for a bit, and Ric hotly translates to Claud "In other words, you just got shot out. Don't take offense, Sonny does that with everybody." Sonny's beard whips Sonny's face towards Ric. I love when Ric is all smug and pleased with himself and absolutely right.

Commercials

Q Mansion: Oh, right, I forgot. It's December and thus time for Luke to tell some woman that he really does love her and is sorry that he left before. Whether it's Laura or Flea or Skye or Tracy, it always ends exactly the same way. I prefer to watch the puppies. They do the same 4 things over and over again, too, but they are sooooo cute about it. Every time one gets up and frolics to the door, just to scamper right back to bed and bite on his sister's ear, I fall in love all over again the exact same amount each time. Strings of Stupidity plink happily that the rest of the Q's want Luke to stay around, so that she'll turn her venom on Luke instead of them. Oh, well, it is nice to see Monica and Edward, so there's that.

Beachbum Corners: blah blah Looloo has absolutely no identity or goals, other than to stand near Johnny. Maxie and Spinelli rush in. Maxie asks what is wrong with them for hitting a cop. Looloo snots that if Maxie didn't want to help, why did she show up. Maxie puts on a smiley face but bitchily says "because Spinelli is helping me be a better person!" Johnny and Looloo need big box store clothes and fake ID's. Maxie says that running Crimson was more fun when Loo was there to boss around, but if this is what Johnny and Loo need, she and Spin will make it happen.

Metrocourt Bar: Carly and Nik meet. Lemme guess: They gossip about Jax and don't actually get any business done. Because unless you run an ad agency in 1952 (and thus have a small army of secretaries to do the ACTUAL business) NO ONE does business in a bar all the dang time!

Corinthaus: Claud and Sonny continue to work out the kinks of their "marriage" Sonny says two things that aren't negotiable for Ric and Claud: "never undermine me, and never make decisions in my name" Ric agrees. Sonny grabs his coat and says he's going to Kate's. Claud ask if she's supposed to be okay with that. Sonny angerbarks that they get to do whatever the hyellll they want with their personal lives. He leaves, and Ric and Claud just smile at each other thinking, "man, he's an idiot that he just gave us carte blanche"

Commercials

Corinthaus: Ric and Claud giggle and flirt with each other. He says that Sonny just said she can do whatever she wants. Claud says that she read it that she and Sonny are on thin ice, so continuing with Ric would be a bad idea. Her body language indicates otherwise. But then Ric stops her cold when he explains that she might be thinking she has the potential for a real relationship with Sonny, and Sonny only falls for women who will "save" him. and by "save" him, Ric means women who are willing to lie to themselves that Sonny didn't deserve to be shot and thus deserves a tearful bedside vigil. Women who will lie to themselves that mental illness is a real thing and will treat it with Orange juice and washrags. Ric says Claud isn't capable of saving Sonny. She takes it as an insult because she doesn't know it's easily the nicest thing Ric has ever said about a person.

Kate's Beige House: Sonny shows up and for some reason kHate lets him in. He blathers that just b/c he ignored her pleas to let The Revenge go, and even though he went to Carly for an alibi, and even though he let the world think he slept with Carly, and even though he married another woman and made that decision without discussing it with kHate first, it totally doesn't mean that the doesn't love her. Khate manages to say it doesn't matter what he feels.

Commercials

Beachbum Corners: Loo and John tease each other about knowing how to hot wire a car. So now they are going to steal a car? and that makes them heroes? Looloo learned how to hotwire a car when she was 9 apparently. blah blah, as long as they are together, that's all that matters to her.

Metrocourt: Carly remains vindictive. Nik says that it's clear Carly still loves Jax, so she better be sure she's okay with the consequences.

Corinthaus: Claud says Ric is hardly an expert on Sonny. ric says he doesn't have to be Sonny's BFF to understand how he operates. Ric says Sonny is a walking disaster. Claud assures Ric that she's not going to fall for Sonny b/c she doesn't do love. Ric says that Sonny does. He hotly sits and says that Sonny, for all his faults, still thinks of love as this magical thing that happens and has redemptive powers. he says Claud doesn't fit the profile "you're not kHate, you're not Emily, you're not the Sainted Lili." Claud says she thinks love is the stupid things with wings that gets in the way of important stuff like clothes and power. Or something like that. Ric says he feels sorrier for her than Sonny, if that is true. Then he hotly says "Goodnight, Mrs. Corinthos" and leaves. and that was about the meanest thing he's ever said to anyone. So she cries a little.

kHate's Beige House: I dunno, y'all. These two yuck yucks continue to blather back and forth about their lives. kHate does interestingly say that no woman can change him, and maybe he shouldn't change. omg, you beige-headed idiot! What a concept! Maybe YOU shouldn't marry a man you think needs to change. Maybe you should just find a man who is already the man you want him to be. How complicated is this concept for a woman in her late 30's...early 40's? How PATHETIC that she doesn't know that. Are there any women in the early 40's who are still desperately clinging to a man, hoping he'll become someone else and propose. If you are out there...please cut that out! That never ends well.

Commercials

Q Manse: Tracy is going to get a quickie divorce.

Beachbum Corners: Maxie brings a lovely leather bag full of clothes and food. Spinelli rushes in to tell them the assault was never recorded. Did this happen 8 weeks ago? How do we know the cop hasn't reported it yet b/c he's in the hospital recovering from hypothermia? Unless the same cop DID report other things he did that same day, then I don't get the "never" part. But whatever. everyone celebrates. Except stupid Looloo and Johnny b/c they were looking forward to being Bonnie and Clyde.

Metrocourt: Carly and Nik blather about revenge and such. Nadine calls to tamaracry that they have to postpone their marriage b/c she won't be back soon, and she doesn't think she's alright.

Corinthaus: Claud creepily sits in the dark on the sofa. Sonny comes home and pours a drink. She asks how the visit with kHate did. Sonny thinks he can't be forgiven. Claud suggests he embrace his Inner Monster and quit trying to live up to what everyone else wants. Yes, all people should do that. Sonny says this may be good advice, that hanging onto your dreams only causes pain. That's not true, Sonny. Hanging onto stupid dreams that involve your doing whatever the heck you feel like doing at all times, of your never having to compromise or bend or give anything to anyone, yet also depend on EVERYONE ELSE changing their lives all around to accomodate your whims, those sorts of dreams aren't even as sound as a 5 year old wanting to be a ballerina or an astronaut. They aren't even dreams. They are fanciful demands on everyone else. kHate doesn't want to be with a mobster. I suppose you can dream that one day she will want to be with a mobster, but you love her b/c she's not a part of the mobster world. She would just be Carly if she was down with it. and you loathe Carly. More than you loathe people who shoot at your children.

the end