GH Recap 12/11: Day after caps

Emma's Closet: Robin whines about her kid. Patrick assures her. But Emma is crying as Patrick holds Emma, so it seems like her theory is wrong. Robin hates her baby, though, so she leaves in a huff. Poor Baby.

Corinthaus: I guess Olivia wanders around town with a fresh change of clothes? Because it's morning at Corinthaus, and she's in new clothes...and that blouse would clearly need to be ironed. Claud snottily tells Olivia she's better now and should leave. Sonny walks in and Olivia asks if that's what Sonny wants.

Liz's Mansion: Lucky and Liz bring the boys home.

Courthouse: Sam and Jason discuss that they have to give testimony. Jason doesn't want Sam to get in trouble, but she says she made a choice and will answer for the things she did.

Credits

Corinthaus: Claud does the Port Charles Gazette crossword puzzle in pen. Sonnny agrees that Olivia would be better off not here (meaning around Claud's bitchiness). Olivia decides to walk home to Kate's, but she has to talk to Sonny first and almost accidentally tell him about his son 8 times.

Casa de 3's a Crowd: Maxie breezes in, delighted that she and Looloo have the apartment now. I don't get why it's partially furnished with stuff from the 80's. I do love that it has the exact same mantle that is in one of my mom's rooms. Maxie says the house has potential, but Looloo the horrible only sees the hard work. Maxie says she gets the bigger bedroom, because it has the bigger closet, and she has better clothes. Even I couldn't argue with that. (and I'd have been the roommate with the crappy clothes)

Q Manse: Tracy and Edward remember that ELQ is a company. They complain that the stock is down. Gee, writers, how topical. They complain about how Tracy's gallavanting after Luke affected the company. Or, you know, maybe it's the planetary recession. Luke runs in to pretend he's drunk because he knows he can behave however he wants, and she won't divorce him. Luke, I've seen people take this tact on Survivor. They assume being a jerk will get them to the finals b/c no one would vote for them, but eventually they overstay their welcome and are snuffed. Con cuidado, is what I'm saying.

Liz's Manse: Liz is in the mood to be nice to Lucky this week and to be thankful for his help. Why is she wearing my Christmas napkins as a shirt? They decide to go on a family outing. Liz gets a call that causes Music of Malady to play. Liz is concerned by the call and says The Danger is not over after all.

Courthouse: You'll be happy to know that Jason's cuts are 10 times more healed than they were the day before. Sam remains in such a philosophical mood lately. She says she feels like Dorothy and has been living the excitement of flying monkeys and opium naps, but now she's back in Kansas and it's all lacking vibrancy. She laughs at her metaphor, saying he hasn't seen the Wizard of Oz and doesn't know what she's talking about. Jason, is Superjase, though, so he turned on his metaphor translator program and solemnly says he does understand.

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Park Bench: Mac finds Robin. Did she call him, or did he randomly run into her. I love that this park is like Central Park, and you can hear the traffic noises in the distance. My friends and I tried to post to you once when we visited NYC, but we couldn't do it from our phone. I still feel stupid that we never made it to the Whole Foods in Union Square to visit the produce section and give our regards to Michael. Anyways, Robin whines about her baby.

Casa de 3's a Crowd: Looloo's hair is so long lately. Maxie adds that she's going to have to listen to Loo and Johnny go at it, so she gets the big room. Looloo takes off her coat and snots "jealous much?" Spinelli visits, and Maxie and Looloo drape themselves over him. Maxie says he's here just in time. Spinelli cutely asks "dare I ask for what?" and it's a visual joke and normally the music starts going "brown chicken brown cow" if this were a different type of movie. But it's just this soap, so the Strings of Silliness plink away. Looloo says they need an unbiased opinion. Maxie interrupts and angrily asks "should someone get the bigger bedroom just b/c they plan on having sex?"

Spencer Home: Liz has changed out of her Christmas napkin shirt. She has to go to court, I guess. She tells Lucky that when she thinks about what she did to her boys, it makes her sick. She needs to face this, so she never has to think about it again. (until she falls for Dante)

Courthouse: The music becomes sort of ephemeral. Jason comments to Sam that she stayed calm the whole time. She says she's just glad she could help. Diane comes out to call them in. For some dumb reason they are being interviewed together. We meet Special Agent Thoma Raynor. He used to be Grant Harrison on Another World. I wish I was watching that show right now. He pops a mint and leans forward to angrily says "The report reads like a wild west movie with Russians." He gives the body count and asks why they both shouldn't be charged with murder. I guess because neither has council present, so any charges wouldn't stick?

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Q Manse: Luke acts like a big ol' drama queen and says he thinks he can drink himself to liver failure in a matter of weeks. Tracy suggests he go suck some fruit in France. She doesn't exactly say that, but close enough. Luke says this is not about Laura. He stands up an stumbles to her and starts to kiss her, but she blanches and says there is no alcohol on his breath, and he's faking.

Corinthaus: Sonny assures Olivia she's welcome to stay, but he honestly thinks she better. He tells her to be more careful next time. Um, what, the next time she walks home? Look out for Russians? What a stupid show. Olivia is sad for Sonny's life. he grumpily tells her not to be sad b/c he knows what he's doing. But he sinks back on the couch and stares ahead and looks so crazy and angry and bitter, that even I feel a little bad for the guy. Olivia sadly says that the first time he said he knew what he was doing was when he started down the path towards mobsterdom. She says he does know what he's doing, and he knows exactly how much it will cost him.

SA Raynor's office: Sam and Jason tell the story to Raynor. Thankfully, we cut ahead for big chunks of the story. OMG< I forgot Jason and Sam were trapped in a papier mache mine for awhile there. Raynor is doing this annoying thing where he's pretending to have a deep and gravelly voice. Either that or the actor playing him is a two pack a day man. He asks whose idea was it to get Jakeson themselves without calling the cops. Jason and Sam intone at the same time "mine."

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Raynor's Office: Sam says it was the only viable plan, given the situation. Raynor is dubious that this pint sized woman going into roadhouse full of armed Russian mobsters was a good idea. When he puts it like that, it does sound incredibly ill advised. Now Raynor is over enunciating his words, like he's that Elf King guy from the Matrix. What is that actor's name? I love that guy. He enunciates that the report indicates they acted in defense of a minor child (so what was with the wild west jabs and the murder charge earlier?), and he's prepared to drop it.

Casa de 3's a crowd: Maxie adn Loo argue about the room. Maxie points out that she wants to be a success, and Looloo is just a dilettante. Spinelli wisely points out that they should decide up front things like sharing refrigerator space and cleaning and shopping duties. Truer words were never spoken, but boys are smart and girls are dumb, so they still only care about the big room. Shut up, Guza. They consider drawing cards for the room. Why not flip a coin? I doubt either woman carries a deck of cards around. Johnny shows up and Loo says she can't wait to show him her room, as soon as it's hers.

Q Mansion: I love these actors, but the repetition is beyond annoying. Tracy finally convinces Luke she's done with him, so he angrily says he's going on a bender. Oh, that's so charming! Luke leaves and Tracy runs after him, but Alan stops her and mocks her for still caring. He asks what she'd do if Luke really did drink himself to death. Oh, lord, we aren't going to have an It's a Wonderful Like Tracy-style this year, are we?

Corinthaus: Sonny confides to Max about this big, stupid plan that he thinks the Z's shot Kate and wants to find out from Claud if this is true, so he's going to pretend that she's getting to him.

Courthouse: Jason and Sam are done with the questioning. Sam points out that Sascha got away with all of this unscathed. Jason's eyes grow dark and murdery and he says he'll handle her. Sam exhales sharply and answers "not if I see her first." Aw, those two crazy, cold blooded killin' kids. How can they not see how right they are for each other? It's like in the Gift of the Magi when Della cut off her long hair and braided it into a noose and killed their enemy, while Jim sold his watch in exchange for a Glock and also killed the same enemy? So romantic!

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Casa de 3s a Crowd: Spinelli and Johnny are going to pick cards. High card gets the big bedroom. Spinelli draws a Jack. Maxie is giddy. Johnny pulls the ace of spades....which, these people are such losers, that they didn't make devil hands and sing "the ace of spaaaaades" like they are in a Motorhead video. Looloo then announces it's good she has the big room b/c Johnny will be living with them. That is such horseshit. Spinelli objects.

Park Bench: honk honk! There goes the bus! Also, I think kids are playing on the swingset devoted to Chucky. Mac tries to encourage Robin not to hate her baby so much. Patrick shows up and happens upon them. Just like in Central Park where you can just easily happen upon someone else on a bench. Because it's not gigantic at all. it's not like you can wear yourself out walking through a 1/3 of it.

Sam's Apartment: Sam wanders around her drab, gray, Kansas apartment and tries to unclick her heels. Lucky shows up and embraces her, saying he's glad she's safe. Did they really not have this conversation in the 24 hours she's been home?

Courthouse: Diane goes over business with Jason and says he and Sam made a good impression. Jason stares at Liz approaching. Diane realizes he's not listening and says he's on fire. He just tells her he can go. She warns against a heart to heart with Liz, but realizes she's talking to herself, so she leaves. Jason asks how jakeson is and if she's here to make a statement. She says Jakeson is fine, and she's here to meet Raynor. He gravely asks her to ask Raynor to explain to her how the Russians died.

Commercials

Emma's Closet: Patrick cutely dancese with a bundle of coats. I think there's supposed to be a baby in there. I don't know who invented putting animal ears on baby coats, but may I just say I love that person? Cutest idea ever!

Corinthaus: Oh, so who had "3 days" before Sonny romanced Claud with his cooking? You won $85 in the pool! Claud cutely picks up Sonny's plate of food and exchanges it for hers (in case it's poisoned). Tomato basil soup and sausage and pepper paninis. I gotta say, the soup almost doesn't look gross. The panini looks like a fat patty melt, though. She says breaking bread with someone is a nice gesture. She's touched, but asks what it's going to cost her.

Sam's Apartment: Lucky explains that he's wanted to be with her, but it didn't feel right to leave the boys last night. Fair enough. He says the doctor has given Jakeson a clean bill of health. Sam still feels guilty, but Lucky assures her that he and Liz both feel gratitude. he says he wants to get back to them, and he kisses her, but Sam pulls away.

Courthouse: Liz looks at her lap and asks why he wants her to hear how the Russians died. He softly says "because Jakeson would have died the same way" He says the Russians fired, and he fired back, and Jakeson's chance of dying increased with every bullet he fired. Liz tries to stop him, but he angrily says the room Jakeson was in was 10 feet from the gunfire. He repeats that number "10 feet!" he says if Sam didn't get him out of the building, he'd be dead. Liz stares mournfully at him.

The End